A noise from downstairs startled Fluttershy out of her slumber, much to her annoyance.

"Fucking Spiderman..." she grumbled, rising from her bed. She walked into the bathroom and snorted some Prozac, before drinking down some red bull.

As she descended the stairs, she came across a sight that shook her to her very core.

Dozens of Spidermans, in various shapes, sizes, and suits.

"WHAT HAPPENED?!" she demanded.

"Spidey Con. Lawl." our hero responded.

"Lawl." every Spiderman lawled.

A loud yawn got all of the Spiderman's attention as a sleep gentlemanly raptor descended the staircase, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He smacked his lips as he stopped and took in the scene before him.

"What..."

"Spidey Con." Fluttershy explained.

"Lawl." all the Spidermans lawled.

"...it's too early for this shit." Fluffles stated, walking past Fluttershy and the Spidermen and heading to the kitchen.

"Lawl hi." about five or so Spiderman's hanging in the kitchen greeted.

The gentlemanly raptor grumbled his greetings as he grabbed some leftover steak. He made a quick snack out of it before exiting the kitchen and making his way to front door.

"I have a feeling that everything is going to go horribly wrong today, so I'll see you guys tomorrow." Fluffles said.

"Lawl bye." all the Spidermen said in unison.

The raptor tipped his top hat to them, before promptly getting the fuck out of there.

Once the raptor left, all the Spidermen turned towards Fluttershy.

"Umm..." she said uncomfortably.

"What now?" one Spiderman asked.

"Sodomy." another answered.

"Lawl nope." the first one answered.

"Forming voltron?" a third one asked.

"Let's save that for next year." a fourth one answered.

"Musical number?"

"Lawl. Too many of those."

"I GOT IT!" the real Spiderman exclaimed.

"What?" a short, chubby Spiderman asked.

"Let's invade that shitty town!" our hero said.

"Lawl." the Spidermen said in agreement.

They all filed out of the cabin, leaving behind a confused Fluttershy. Reluctantly, she followed the Spidermen, expecting that whatever they did would be fucking hilarious.

It was a beautiful day in Ponyville. The birds were singing, children were playing, the adults peacefully went about their errands, and one lucky joe got a blowjob in the Mcdonalds parking lot.

"Beautiful day, isn't it?" Rainbow Dash asked Applejack as she walked up to her Weed and Apples Cart™.

"Ya betcha flank it's a beautiful day. What can ah do for ya, Dash?" she inquired.

"I could use an apple. What do you got?"

"Everything." Applejack responded plainly.

"Oh... I'll take a granny smith, then."

Applejack smirked, and held over her grandma to the librarian.

"Do you think my hunger is some kind of fucking game?" the rainbow maned pegasus asked, dropping the old pony on the ground.

"Maybe."

Before any other words could be exchanged between the two, they spotted a familiar raptor running towards them.

"Fluffles...?" Rainbow Dash asked in confusion.

"RUN BITCH RUN!" he exclaimed at them as he passed them, "IT'S HAPPENING!"

"What was that all about?" Applejack asked, confused.

"Look!" the librarian exclaimed, pointing in the distance.

Approaching them was a mass of red and blue.

"Holy shit... I'm out!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, dashing away dashingly.

Applejack's eyes widen as they came closer. She was able to make out what they were.

An army of Spidermen.

However, her eyes didn't widen with horror or shock. They widened with joy.

The average Spiderman consumed more weed than any of her customers do in year in one day.

This many Spidermen is good for business.

"Lawl lawl lawl lawl lawl lawl lawl~" they all chanted as they marched into town. The local detachment of the Royal Guard arrived on the scene and charged at the Spiderman, swords in hoof. However, the Spidermen dog piled the guards and beat them to death in a matter of seconds. Nearby ponies and vendors gasped and screamed in horror before fleeing with their tails between their legs.

They all surrounded Applejack's cart, and before she could even blink, all her weed and apples was gone, replaced by a gigantic pile of bits.

"Oy vey. Such a good goy." she said, hooking the cart up to her and getting the fuck out of there.

The Spidermen in unison rolled up their joints and puffed that shit. It didn't really do much for them, consider that Spiderman doesn't get drunk or high easily, but it did make them feel good. Real good.

"Let's go fuck up some more shit!" a fat, fedora wearing Spiderman who wore a shirt over his suit that said 'In this moment, I am euphoric, not because of any phony god's blessing, but because I am enlightened by my intelligence' spoke up.

The neckbeard Spiderman then received a kick to the nuts from the true Spiderman, whom proclaimed, "NO NECKBEARDS ALLOWED!"

The rest of the Spidermen ran up and started kicking the living shit out of the neckbeard, while our hero did a victory dance.

As the neckbeard breathed his final breath, a random Spiderman spoke out. "What now?" he asked.

"There is a Feminist rally on the other end of town. We're going to wipe them out in the name of justice!" our hero declared.

"Lawl." the other Spidermen lawled in agreement.

"Lawl." our hero said.

The Spidermen marched up the street, their footsteps echoing throughout the town. Minutes later, the Feminist rally came into sight.

"LOOK! IT'S TEH PATRIARCHY!" one Feminazi exclaimed.

"STOP STARE RAPING ME!" another exclaimed.

"Top lel." our hero said as the Spidermen broke out into a run, charging at the Feminists.

"OPPRESSION!" one cried before getting knocked the fuck out by the short, chubby Spiderman.

"RAPE!" another snarled before getting her face bashed by a baseball bat.

"I'M BEING OBJECTIFIED!" a third one snarled before getting shanked.

"CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE!" a fourth one screamed into our heroes face.

"Lawl no." he responded, before smashing her face in with his super-strength.

The Spidermen continued their rampage, completely wiping out the Feminist scum, while all they could do is bitch about how life isn't fair in a society where men and women are basically equal, except for in courts, where women always win no matter what and men always get fucked over.

"Remember folks," our hero said, "hide feminist threads, ignore feminist posts, and do not reply to feminist posters. And you have a problem with that, just remember..."

"...I just don't give a fuck."

Author's Notes:

And on that day, every feminist readers MarineMarksman hadn't already lost threw their arms up in defeat, unliked and unfavorited his stories, and unfollewed him.

And no one gave a shit.