Our hero, Fluttershy, and his talking gentlemanly velociraptor companion, Fluffles, sat a top the town hall. Unlike usual, they weren't just chilling up top, they had a mission.

"Target spotted." Fluttershy said.

"Get ready, ole' chap." Fluffles said to Spiderman.

"Lawl k." our hero responded. He leaned over the edge and watched the approaching pony. It was some rich asshole, likely from Canterlot. Spiderman hated rich assholes. They stole his first born child and killed his second wife.

-Wait, that's not right.

"I don't give a fuck lawl." our hero said as he dropped a condom filled with mayonnaise over the edge of the roof. It dropped quickly and struck the noble right in the face, coating his face and his expensive clothing in a thick layer of mayo.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" he shouted. "Come down here, you ruffians! I'm going to kick your sorry flanks!"

"Lawl k." our hero said as he jumped down from the roof and kicked the noble square in the balls with enough impact to send him flying into a nearby wall.

"Ugh..." the noble groaned in pain.

Spiderman raced forward without missing a beat and started pummeling the living shit out of him, as Fight the Power by Public Enemy started playing in the background.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcbFJAcuomI

As the song finished, our hero kneeled beside the beaten, rich asshole, and whispered into his ear. "You're my bitch now, lawl."

As Spiderman walked away from the fallen noble, he spotted a familiar pink maned teacher coming his way.

And then he saw the booty.

UNF!

"Hello Spiderman!" Cheerilee greeted our hero.

"Hay. Lawl." he responded.

"Hey, could I ask you a personal favor...?" she asked.

"I am the bone of your sword." Spiderman responded.

"You're- um, what?"

"Nothing, lawl."

"Anyways... I'm supposed to be teaching the kids Sex Ed-"

"Giggity." our hero threw in.

Cheerilee ignored this. "The kids really didn't listen to me... just sat there and giggled. Would you mind coming in to teach them?"

The teacher gave him the biggest, cutest puppy eyes. This would affect anyone, save for Spiderman. All he cared for was da booty.

UNF!

“Lawl k.”

“Are you sure? It’ll be over a few days and I don’t want to be a bother…”

“I don’t give a fuck lawl.” Our hero said.

“Oh thank you so much, Spiderman!” the teacher cried as she lurched forward and latched onto him in a grateful hug. After a few seconds, she realized what she was doing and let him go, apologizing profusely. Our hero waved it off. He was able to cop a feel of that booty when she hugged him.

UNNNNF!

“I shall come as well.” Fluffles said as he and Fluttershy walked up. “I have a teaching degree from Bitchin’ Reptiles University.”

After a few moments of blank stares from the mares and Spiderman looking everywhere but him like a fucking moron, Fluffles spoke up again. “It’s the most prestigious university in the universe I am from.”

“Bitchin’.” Fluttershy commented.

“Quite.”

“Well, anyways, I’ll see you tomorrow, Mr. Spiderman.” She said with a smile as she walked off.

“Damn, dat booty.” Spiderman commented as he watched her go.

“That ass is indeed cash.” His velociraptor companion commented.

The next day, Spiderman and Fluffles rose early in the morning and watched hardcore pornography in preparation for today’s lesson. Around noon, they left the cottage and started to make their way into town.

“Is it gay to watch porn with your bro?” Fluffles asked as they approached the schoolhouse.

“As long as the balls don’t touch lawl.” Our hero responded.

Waiting by the school’s border fence was Rainbow Dash, a wagon filled with books covered up by a tarp beside her. Upon spotting Spiderman approaching, she let out a sigh of relief and smiled at them, waving at them happily.

“I thought you were pulling a prank on me when you told me to come here with these type of books, Spiderman. I’m glad my gut is a lying asshole.” She said.

“Lawl k.” our hero said as he grabbed the wagon and pulled it behind him as he continued towards the schoolhouse, his faithful gentlemanly raptor companion trailing behind, “bye!”

“Bye Spiderman! Stop by anytime if you want to… read… or something…” she said, before grumbling cutely to herself, “…way to fuck that up, RD.”

“Alright class, today, we’re going to try learning Sex Ed again.” Cheerilee announced.

The laughing, giggling, and snorting of children filled the room, not allowing the pink haired teacher to speak for several minutes, much to her dismay.

“However, this time, I won’t be teaching. May I introduce our guest teachers, Mr. Spiderman and Sir Fluffles!”

Our hero and his companion entered the room and both struck a pose. The students erupted in to applause, cheers, and whistles, save for one diamond tiara wearing bitch, whom a yellow filly sporting a pink bow like a baws punched her in fucking mouth for being a cunt.

“WHO’S READY TO LEARN ABOUT HOW CHILDREN ARE MADE?!” Spiderman asked excitedly.

“Me!”

“OOO! OOO! ME! ME!”

“MY BODY IS READY, SPIDERMAN!”

“Damn! Diamond Tiara got knocked the fuck out!”

“I think they’re ready, Spiderman.”

“Lawl k.” our hero said as made his way over to the pile of Sex Ed tapes sitting on Cheerilee’s desk, “you see these?”

The class nodded.

“They’re no good. They suck ass. Lawl.” Our hero said as he passed the tapes out, then passed out hammers to each of the students.

“SMASH THE FUCK OUT OF THEM!” he prompted.

The children quickly smashed the Sex Ed tapes to itty bitty pieces. Cheerilee’s jaw dropped.

“NOW THROW EVERYTHING AT THAT CUNT WITH THE DIAMOND TIARA AND GET READY TO FUCKING LEARN!”

Before the rich bitch could protest, she found herself showered with the pieces of VCR tapes and hammers. One struck her in temple and knocked her out.

“I’M GOING TO TELL YOU EVERYTHING THOSE TAPES WOULD TELL YOU IN A LOT LESS TIME, THEN WE GET TO THE FUN SHIT. K?!” Spiderman asked.

The class, save for a knocked out diamond tiara that a white unicorn was drawing a penis on, nodded in assent.

“Lawl k. Take notes. So when a daddy and mommy love each other very much, they fuck each other’s brains out. Then, the sperm of the male, which is this white shit that tastes like salt and smells like bleach that comes out of the penis, goes into the females body and fertilizes an egg. Then nine months later, you get a crying, shitting scumbag who won’t let you get any sleep, eventually grow up into carefree kids like yourselves, then will end up resenting their parents for no fucking reason. Any questions?”

The class shook their heads no. That’s good. That means he wasn’t dealing with a bunch of dipshits.

“Lawl k. Fluffles, pass out the books to the class.”

The raptor nodded, passing out the books out the class, being sure to drop one book on the diamond tiara wearing cunt.

“Mr. Spiderman? What kinda book is this?” the filly whom was either speaking with a pirate or Southern accent asked.

“Lawl I dunno.” He responded.

Fluffles slapped him upside the head.

“Ow! Ow! Stop oppressing me!” Spiderman cried like a feminist.

The two bros chuckled for a few seconds at their antics, before turning their attention back to the kiss.

“This… is the Karma Sutra. It’s time for you little fuckers to learn how to learn how to make babies.”

It took a few hours, but the class managed to finish the entire book. After Fluffles explained the last page to the class, the bell rang, signaling the end of classes for the day.

“Good job, class Now you know the birds and the bees.” Fluffles said.

“GTFO!” Spiderman said, pointing the door.

The class quickly filed out of the room, save for diamond tiara sporting bitch that was still knocked out. Fluffles quickly moved in, marker in claw, to draw more penises’s on her.

While he did this, Cheerilee rose from her desk and approached our hero. “While your methods aren’t exactly orthodox, I must praise their effectiveness. Those videos take days to go over, and most of the times, it just goes right over the kid’s heads because of how boring and scientific those videos are. This time, I think the kids actually got it.”

“Lawl k.” he said as he started to turn towards the door. Ms. Cheerilee quickly blocked his path.

“I’m not finished!” she said.

“K.”

The teacher bit her bottom lip and blushed hotly. She suddenly seemed quite unsure of herself. “While this isn’t really exactly professional… and kind of goes against everything I believe in… Spiderman, would you like to join me for dinner this evening?”

DAMN.

THE TEACHER WITH DA BOOTY FIT FOR A QUEEN JUST ASKED YOU OUT.

UNF! UNF! UNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNF!

WUT DO?!

()Fuck yeah! Take that hot piece of booty out on the town!

Or... go home and...

()Go out clubbing with the talking velociraptor gentleman and Lyra

()Go chill with Discord and his bitch

()Go to the new bar in town with Twilight and get drunk

()Bake with Pinkie Pie. Acquire money and pot brownies

()Smoke weed with Luna then play some Haylo with her

()Smoke weed with Applejack and help her take down some rival dealers

()Play video games with Spike

()Teach Fluffles the meaning of friendship

()Teach Fluttershy how to french kiss THEN GET FRIENDZONED BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T DO THIS FIRST

()Volunteer at a cripple pony school with Fluttershy and attempt to score

()Take the CMC and Luna skydiving. What could possibly go wrong?

()Do your bro Spike a solid and help RD for the day while he has a threesome with cheerleaders (RD TIER TWO UNLOCKED)