Chapter 5 – The Unicorn and Pinkie Pie Part 2

The walk to front gates of The Don’s mansion had been quiet. Insomuch, of course, that Alley had not said a word, the Earth Pony he was following, however, had been all too keen to fill the silence. The unicorn was barely listening to the Pink marvel, more worried about the impending slow painful death at the hooves of a sadistic kingpin of crime, which surely awaited them. Pinkie Pie was unperturbed by her new friend’s silence, relishing the opportunity to talk in length about a variety of subjects. Alley was initially taken aback by the calmness in his accomplice’s voice and the fact that she really didn’t seem to think they were in any danger. He half listened as she spoke in disdain of some author or other who was apparently writing something in a way that was unsatisfactory to her, Alley briefly wondered why Twilight hadn’t mentioned that there was an author writing in Ponyville, being the librarian, it seemed like something she’d be aware of. The thought was welcome relief from the feeling of doom that shrouded him, but not for very long.

Pinkie bounced along with a large cake box balanced on her head – she had refused Alley’s offer of carrying the cake with his magic after seeing how clumsy his magic skills still were when he had dealt with her attackers earlier.

“Here it is!” She suddenly said, she pointed an outstretched hoof at a large mansion in front of her. Before the mansion lay a huge garden, with topiary in the shape of ponies, birds and other animals that Alley couldn’t immediately recognise. A large pavement driveway stretched from the house to the street, with several expensive looking carriages dotted up and down it. The enormous, gold coloured fence, judging by the massive spikes on top of each bar, was obviously an important security feature as well as a decoration. The gate however was open, Alley felt a knot in his stomach – it was not normal, as far as he knew, for ponies at the head of an international crime ring to be so lax about their personal security. “Helloooo!” Pinkie was bashing the intercom button with her hoof, but there was no reply. “Hmmm, must not be working. I know! I’ll just talk to the guard and ask him to let us in!”

Before Alley had chance to tell Pinkie how ridiculous her idea was, she had gone. The stallion wasn’t great at talking at the best of time, but hoped, as he ran to the small guard-station by the front gate, that he could talk his way out of trouble just this once. He put one hoof on the door, desperately readying his story. He decided that he’d tell the guard that they were both travelling salesponies and that his partner had just had a little too much to drink when celebrating a day of good sales. Given that it was nearing the small hours of the morning and Pinkie Pie’s natural demeanour, he figured this would be pretty believable. Or at least he hoped it would. He was just about to get an answer when the door flew open, sending Alley hurtling backwards into some shrubbery in the shape of Princess Celestia. “Are you OK? I just got an ear-flop, eye-flutter and then a knee-twitch, that means beware of opening doors – so I rushed out to warn you!” Alley was just getting up from the floor, he’d heard of the so-called Pinkie Sense during the ponies’ stories at the party, but this was first time that the unicorn had actually seen it in action.

“I’m fine, what did the guard say – surely he didn’t just let us in?” Alley was growing more and more uncomfortable about the situation, which was feat in itself, considering how uncomfortable he’d been before they had even stepped a hoof in the property.

“Oh, he wasn’t in…” the Pink pony looked despondent, “I guess we’ll just head ba-“ The statement which Alley had been waiting to hear since they had left Sugarcube Corner was interrupted by the sound of breaking glass coming from the mansion. The numerous windows of the impressive home were flashing brightly with a variety of different colours and shouting could be heard from inside, although it was impossible to make out what the ponies were saying.  “Flashing lights, ponies shouting… they’re having a party! No wonder nopony is guarding this place, they’re all inside enjoying the party! Now they’ll be super-happy when I deliver their cake, I mean, what’s a party without a super-duper awesome-tastic cake?” Pinkie shot towards the mansion and through the front door, which was ajar. Pinkie assumed this was because The Don wanted as many ponies as possible to join in with the festivities.

“Wait! I don’t think this is a party!” Alley yelled as he galloped after the impossibly fast Earth Pony. He went inside after Pinkie, noticing that the door was damaged around the lock. “Great,” He thought, “now we’re breaking in, and it looks like somepony else has got here ahead of us…”

The entrance hall was a huge room, sparsely decorated, the occasional vase lying broken on the floor. The building was largely marble and the room that Pinkie and Alley found themselves in looked more like a hotel lobby than the entrance to somepony’s home. That would be the case anyway, if it wasn’t for the fact that it looked like a disaster zone. The large framed paintings that once adorned the walls were scattered across the floor. The walls were covered in scorch marks and the large satin curtains which covered the broken windows were on fire.

The relative quiet was broken when two unicorns burst in through the large doors at the end of the hall. Pinkie and Alley froze, Pinkie realising the gravity of the situation for the first time – the sudden occurrence that her life was in danger struck her like a tonne of bricks and she couldn’t move to hide. To the relief of both frightened ponies though, the unicorns didn’t seem to notice them standing in plain sight as they were too busy trying to kill each other. They dipped and dived as they dodged the blasts of colourful magic that they were firing from their horns, the missed attacks causing even more damage to the room. “Come on! We have to get out of here!” Alley whispered to Pinkie Pie, already edging along the wall, towards the door. There was no reply, however, as the apparently fearless Earth Pony was already moving deeper into the building. “Are you insane!?” was all that the furious unicorn could say as he caught up with her.

“My Pinkie Sense is telling me that something really bad is going to happen to The Don if we don’t get to him soon. These people are here to kill him!” Pinkie said, as she led Alley through a series of corridors, going through doors seemingly at random.

“Of course they’re trying to kill him, he’s a mob boss! Why should we save him? Come on, we can probably still get out of here before anypony notices we’re here. How can you even care about this guy, you owe him a small fortune.” The unicorn struggled to avoid the Earth Pony, who had stopped dead, anger in her eyes.

“How could you leave another creature to die!?” she said, sounding remarkably like a certain Pegasus she was friends with. “What if Fluttershy had just left you when she found you in that alley? She didn’t know if you were a good pony or a bad pony, but she helped you all the same, and you know why? Because she’s a good pony, that’s why. Now I’m going to save The Don and if you’re not, then you just leave me.” Alley was flabbergasted by the sudden flow of seriousness and clarity. It hardly seemed like he was talking to the same pony. And he knew she was right. He felt terrible for wanting to leave another pony to die, regardless who it was.

“Wow, crazy… but not stupid.” He thought to himself, before turning to Pinkie Pie and speaking quietly, “You’re right. I’m sorry. Let’s go save this evil master criminal.”

“Okey dokey lokey! This way” The frizzy-maned pony had either not detected the sarcasm in Alley’s voice during the last part of his apology, or she’d simply chosen to ignore it. Given the wisdom he’d just seen Pinkie portray, Alley guessed it was the latter. Pinkie Pie bounced away down the corridor, her serious side leaving as soon as it had appeared. “This is The Don’s office” she said, pointing to an unassuming door, “I remember it from when I came here for his money.” The matter-of-fact way in which Pinkie spoke made Alley feel a little better, for some reason.

She opened the door and revealed a grand office, again tarnished by the signs of offensive unicorn magic. On the floor of the office laid an enormous Earth Pony, bigger even than Big Mac – he was hurt, badly with cuts and burns covering most of his body.

“You idiots!” The Don gasped, “What do I even pay you for, I take a beating and you leave me to fight them off on my own!? Why do you think I only hire unicorns? So that I have somepony to back me up when the fight turns to magic, that’s….” the Earth Pony struggled with his chain of thought, after being caught it a quite violent coughing fit.

“S…Sorry Mr. Don, Sir, but I don’t think we are who you think we are, we… we don’t work for you… you see-“ Alley’s best attempts at edging around the subject of Pinkie’s debt were shattered by the pink pony in question.

“My name is Pinkie Pie, remember me? I’m the pony that borrowed all that money from you, then didn’t pay you back.” Alley cringed, surely they'd be killed now, “Anyway, I bought you this cake so that you’d stop sending meanies around to bully me, because I don’t have any money, because I spent it all on parties for my friends – and I hurried here because I thought you might be in trouble, well, first I thought it was a party, but I don’t think this is a party, if it is party, it’s not like any pa-“

“Enough!” The Don struggled to his feet, he was visibly swaying and had to rest one hoof against his desk to stay standing – Alley knew all too well how that felt, but was too busy expecting to die to appreciate the irony of the situation. “You’re telling me that you risk your own safety to rescue a pony that you owe money, a lot of money, if I remember correctly… which I always do. You must be insa-“

“Yep! Well, first I came to give you cake, but then I stayed to save you” Pinkie interjected. There was a brief pause before The Don spoke again,

“Hm. Why exactly, you think I’m gonna cancel your debt just like that?”

“Well, the cake was so you’d cancel the debt, it’s a really good cake! But we just saved you because you’re a pony, and pony save other ponies that are in trouble.” Pinkie glanced towards Alley for a moment, smiling knowingly, “That’s just what you do.” There was an agonising silence as The Don contemplated his next words.

“You two ponies have guts, and honour – that’s not easy to come by, I should know. My own unicorn guards abandon me to join some kid that’s taking over this town... I have nothing now, this legacy that I’ve worked on for years, the family business, gone. My grandpa will be rolling in his grave.” Pinkie looked as if she was going to make a comment about how The Don’s grandfather rolling in his grave sounded like he was having fun, but Alley gave her a look that told her it was probably best to stay quiet, just this once, “ I couldn’t take back my money from you even if I wanted to. I don’t have the means, I don’t have the ponypower, I don’t have anything – just leave. Now. I have to get my affairs in order, from what I’ve heard this new kid doesn’t like loose ends.”

“You know, those ponies don’t know that you’re still alive, if you left now you’d be able to start off somewhere new, they’d be none the wiser.” Alley thought he’d break his silence. He was actually starting to pity this fallen giant.

“Hm. I wandered when you’d say something. You’re right of course, but what’s the point? Why run, when there’s nothing to take with you?”

“But you do have something, Donny,” Alley cringed for a third time at Pinkie’s new nickname for the former crime boss, “you have your life and your imagination - for planning parties and your mouth – for laughing and your memories of all the crimey things that you’ve done that were probably fun to you, and loads of other things that those mean ponies can never take away from you. Your grandpa won’t be all spinny in his grave now, but he would be if he saw you give up, you should go somewhere and start a new family business, in Fillydelphia or Canterlot! You could be the new Apple Family! Or maybe open a place like Sugarcube Corner! Oh! I know one more thing you can take with you. This cake.” Pinkie Pie passed the cake box to The Don, who almost smiled.

“You know what? You’re crazy, but you’re right! I’m not gonna let these foals buck me around, I’m gonna live! You know, I’ve always wanted to own a restaurant? I could move to Manehatten, Fillydelphia, open up a little store or a diner! A real family business! I’m gonna leave here through the back exit, you’d better go out through the front. Make sure you break as much stuff as possible on the way out, I don’t want that kid getting hold of anything that might be valuable! And… thanks.”

“No problem, Donny!”

“Hm. Donny… I like that. Donny’s Diner….”

And with that the ordeal, or adventure, depending on whether you listen to the pink Earth Pony’s story, or the charcoal unicorn’s, was over. The fighting had long-since subsided, The Don’s unicorns realising they were beat and swapping sides, abandoning the mansion and leaving their leader, who they presumed was dead. Pinkie had happily thrown several priceless artefacts out of a window, before Alley rather churlishly demanded they return home, not wanting to stay there any longer than was necessary.

When the unicorn finally returned to Sweet Apple Acres, the sun was rising and Big Mac and Applejack where just leaving to work on the farm. He struggled to explain where he’d been and what had happened. The Earth Ponies, who had been worried sick when he hadn’t returned home, seemed unconvinced with his answers.

However, upon hearing that he’d been on an outing with Pinkie Pie, they became less demanding, accepting his confusing tale and letting him go to bed; apparently this kind of wild ride wasn’t as unusual in Ponyville as Alley thought it really should be. He didn’t go to bed immediately, the tiredness he obviously felt was secondary to the adrenaline he had only just noticed pumping through his veins. The thought occurred to him that he could very well have died last night and never found out about himself. He vowed to himself that he’d focus on his memories from now on, although he had strangely enjoyed his time with Pinkie Pie.

“I must thank her for that party.” He thought, before drifting into some must-needed sleep.