Chapter 4 – The Unicorn and Pinkie Pie Part 1

Sugarcube Corner was alive with the sounds of ponies and music. It was decorated with colourful ribbons and banners, with cakes and other sugary treats stacked high on every flat surface.

“Erm… What am I doing here again, Applejack? I thought we were going to meet this Twil-“

“Duh! This is your ‘Welcome to Ponyville, or maybe welcome back because you’ve been here before, but you just can’t remember it – but Pinkie Pie’s never seen you before and she knows every pony in Ponyville, so you’re probably not from around here’ Party!” A bright pink Earth Pony with a frizzy pink mane had appeared in front of Alley and Applejack apparently from nowhere, she took a deep breath after her speech and pointed a hoof to the far wall, where a huge banner had been unfurled.

WELCOME TO PONYVILLE, OR MAYBE WELCOME BACK BECAUSE YOU’VE BEEN HERE BEFORE, BUT YOU JUST CAN’T REMEMBER IT – BUT PINKIE PIE’S NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE AND SHE KNOWS EVERY PONY IN PONYVILLE, SO YOU’RE PROBABLY NOT FOR AROUND HERE!

The banner was mouth-painted in bright pink, with the letters getting smaller towards the end, as the creator obviously struggled to fit all the words in. “Do you like it? I made it my self! My name’s Pinkie Pie, wanna cupcake?” She bowed her head, offering a cupcake from a basket-hat that was balanced perfectly atop her mane.

“I… er…” Before Alley had a chance to piece together a reaction, the pony had bounced away, the basket-hat remaining perfectly balanced somehow.

“That’s Pinkie Pie, she’s a little… eccentric, but she’s one of the nicest ponies you’d ever want to meet,” Applejack spoke, she had seen the look on Alley’s face many times – it was a common reaction to meeting Pinkie for the first time. “Here, come let me introduce you to all my friends.”

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The night had gone quickly and Alley soon found himself saying goodbyes to the six mares he had met. The conversation with his new friends had flowed well, perhaps due to the concoction that was being generously ladled out by a pony called Berry Punch.  Pinkie had made the confused unicorn promise to not talk about “boring” things like his massive memory loss. Alley complied; it actually felt good for it not to be the only thing he thought about. He had listened as the six ponies, including four he had never met before; Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Twilight Sparkle and the aforementioned Pinkie Pie, regaled the adventures they had been on since meeting each other only a year ago.  Some of the stories sounded too unbelievable to be true, but Applejack assured him that they had all really happened, the unicorn having no reason to disbelieve the pony that he’d just discovered was the Element Of Honesty.

Alley had agreed to meet Applejack back at Sweet Apple Acres, he wanted to thank Pinkie Pie for her thoughtfulness; her party had been a welcome relief from the stress of the past week. Pinkie was nowhere to be seen inside Sugarcube Corner, however, so Alley presumed she’d gone to bed. He pledged to himself that he’d thank her tomorrow and headed out the door.

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Pinkie backed nervously away from the three enormous unicorn stallions that closed in on her. They carried large pieces of wood, levitating them threateningly in front of their faces. She felt her bottom bump into something, she literally had her back against the wall now. There was no escape. She stood on her hind legs and forced a smile.

“Guy’s… you don’t want to hit me… because… I’m made of… wasp stings? Yep, that’s Pinkie Pie, 80% wasp stings, 30% pony – you hit me and you’ll have a really nasty sting!” The pink pony wore a serious expression, she had decided to go with her story whole-hog - there were hardly any better options. She started making buzzing noises like a wasp. The three unicorns looked at each other, stopping in their tracks. A moment later, though, they continued to close in.

“Hey you! Get away from her!” Alley had heard the commotion as he exited Sugarcube Corner. He was trying his best to act and sound intimidating, something that he wasn’t very good at. The unicorn muscle turned their attentions to the interferer, who tried to remember a spell to help him out. He randomly started to channel magic through his horn, letting his instincts take over. He lifted one of the unicorns into the air and crashed him into the other two a little harder than he had wanted to. The three thugs looked injured. They got to their feet, trying to avoid showing pain.

“Come on guys, let’s tell the boss that he’ll have to use some more… aggressive tactics if he wants this foal to pay-up,” the biggest unicorn spoke loudly, making sure that Alley and Pinkie heard what he said. The three unicorns limped away. Alley watched them carefully until they were completely out of sight. His concentration was broken when he was tackled to the ground.

“Thank you Alley! I thought those meanies were gonna beat me up for sure!” Alley didn’t reply, he was still trying to work out how he’d found himself on his back, with Pinkie Pie looming over him. Pinkie mistook his look of bafflement for one of fear. “Oh don’t worry.” The excitable pony grinned. “I’m not really made of wasp stings, I just said that to scare those nasty unicorns, I’m made of all the normal pony stuff that ponies are made out of!” She jumped up, allowing Alley to get to his feet.

“I… uh... OK, good to know. Who were those guys anyway?” The charcoal unicorn dusted himself off. It was late at night and Ponyville was silent, except for the sound of a dog barking far away in the distance.

“Oh, that one’s easy!” Pinkie jumped up and down on the spot as if she’d just won a prize. “They work for The Don, who’s a big mean meany pants that I borrowed some money from, and he’s all cross because I haven’t paid him back yet. I don’t have the money, so I couldn’t pay him back. Simple. Only, he got all frowny and sent those nasties to beat me up.” Pinkie said, matter-of-factly.

“What!? You borrowed money from the mafia!? What were you thinking!?” Pinkie stared back at Alley, blinking innocently, as if she’d never before considered that taking out a loan from the mob had been a bad idea. The unicorn slapped his hoof against his face.

“It’s OK, because I baked The Don a big, tasterific cake, and I’m going to go give it to him. Then I’ll just tell him that I can’t pay back his money. Everypony has to listen to reason when they’ve just been given a free cake.”

“You have to be kidding right, please say you’re joking…. You are joking aren’t you?” Pinkie shook her head. “Fine. But you’re not going alone.” Alley wasn’t sure how the last part of the sentence has slipped out of his mouth. He ignored the fact every fibre of his being was telling him to leave this crazy pony to get herself killed and carry on trying to regain his memory – a goal that he’d completely ignored for almost 24 hours now. Instead, the trembling unicorn continued with this false bravado, surely Pinkie Pie can’t be as mad as she seems? “Right, what’s the worst that could happen? Oh… right, but still, where does this Don live?”

“’What’s the worst that could happen?’ What a cliché! Silly author! What’s he going to have us saying next ‘I’m getting too old for this’ or ‘don’t you die on me!’?” The frizzy-maned pony spoke to no-one in particular, mimicking deep manly voices and waving her hooves around.

“Dear, sweet, Celestia, we’re going to die…” thought Alley.