Psychedelica – Pastel Ponies
A pony story by Joseph Raszagal
As inspired by stuff best kept away from children
Chapter Sixteen – Introducing Prince Shining Armor

As much as Rainbow Dash and I initially hit it off, I can't help but think that her attempts to set me up on a date were less of a repayment for the Gameboy I'd given her and more of a free form of entertainment for her to point and laugh at. Admittedly, I wasn't really helping the situation any, having all the social grace of an earthquake trapped in pony form, but still, she could have at least checked in with me a couple of times before just sending over a new bachelorette every other Thursday.

I mean, fuck, one of 'em was even Gilda.

…

Okay, to be honest, that one was actually a little funny. She looked a billion times more nervous than I must have at the time and it didn't take her long to cook up an exit strategy so she could get the Hell out of Dodge. I had a hunch that she liked me, what with all the stammering that I had to assume wasn't common in a tough girl's vocabulary, but... you know...

I used to be a human.

She's a griffon.

All the others are friggin' ponies.

Stuck here or not, you can't really blame me for being a tad apprehensive about the whole romancing business, right?

Pinkie Pie was apparently a little saddened that my date with Gilda hadn't worked out; said she “ships” us, whatever that means. Twilight just told me it was Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie and that I should leave it at that. Fearing an oncoming headache, I just shut up and took her advice.

But back to romancing~

I briefly considered trying to worm my way out of this whole mess by telling Rainbow that I'm gay, but really, would that have solved anything? I'd have just ended up answering the door for some hopeful-looking stallions instead of mares.

Instead, I manned-up and told her the truth, backed by Twilight no less, that the idea of trying to start a relationship was still too alien for me at the moment and that I needed a bit more time to adjust to the overall “culture shock”, so to speak. Rainbow Dash took this news surprisingly well, though I still saw a glimmer in her eyes as she flew away, gears still grinding beneath that prismatic mop of hers and planning out yet more romantic social interaction for me to fail spectacularly at.

But whatever, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Or I'll burn it.

Or... shit, I don't know, insert additional bridge metaphor here.

As I sat across from Twilight at the kitchen table and munched on some hay fries, a delicacy that still surprised me in terms of its deliciousness, the purple pony's expression conveyed a mixture of concern and confusion.

“So, even knowing that I won't be able to give you the full tour, you'd still like to accompany me?” she questioned.

Nodding, I replied, “Well, given that the only other times I've ever been to Canterlot have been while I was still midway through heroin remission, I think I sort of owe it to them to visit and make amends for that terrible first impression.”

“Granted,” she replied, mulling over something else unspoken as she sipped her coffee.

“Besides, you said your brother was going to be waiting for you there at the station, right?” I continued, smiling. “Maybe while you're busy with your official business, whatever that entails, I can chill with him.”

“As far as I'm aware, he is off-duty all day today,” Twilight admitted, “and he has expressed interest in meeting you.”

“Really?”

“Suffice to say, I've mentioned you in a few of my letters.”

“Owch.”

“Nothing too damning, Jeremy, I promise,” she giggled, shaking her head. “He knows that you've been taking something of an extended sabbatical, recovering from an undisclosed illness.”

“Not too far from the truth,” I smirked wryly. “Trying to save what little reputation I might have?”

Standing from her place at the table, Twilight crossed the small distance between us and placed a hoof on my shoulder.

“You've been doing a fine job of that already. I'm not sure that hard work and recovery necessarily go hoof-in-hoof, but judging by what Applejack has told me you've been a great help around the farm. Give yourself more credit.”

“Hah, not a chance! Self-deprecation is my second language right after sarcasm!”

“Honestly, I'm glad there's a train,” I said as I stared out through the window, watching the magical land of talking horses pass me by. “I'd hate to have to hike all the way up Mount Sonuvabitch's summit on a full stomach.”

“You just have to find something to complain about, don't you?” Twilight chuckled.

“Eh, it passes the time.”

Shaking her head at me, the purple unicorn asked, “Just to clarify, you really don't mind that I won't be around today?”

“Nah, it's cool. While you're out getting your shit done, I figure I'll pop in on Celestia and see how she's doing. It's kind of weird, you couldn't just walk up to the leader of the free world back where I'm from, just to say hi or something. There's, like, at least a hundred other guys you'd have to talk to first before you ever even got close to the Prez. Shit, even then you'd probably only get a few minutes with him. Or her. Actually, for all I know the President really could be a her by now; time might not move at the same speed in this world as it did in mine. What's your watch say?”

By way of reply, Twilight simple rolled her eyes and ignored most of the latter half of my ramble.

“To be fair, you're making it sound a lot easier than it actually is... with the exception of the chronological discrepancies, of course. But still, just so you know, there is still protocol to be followed if you'd like an audience with the Princess.”

“Well, yeah, but I'll be with the Captain of the Guard too, right? Should be a cakewalk.”

“Just try not to make a scene, alright?”

The sound of my one-hundred percent genuine promise to keep out of trouble was drowned out by the metallic screech of the train's breaks bringing us to a slow stop. With a flash of magic, Twilight levitated her saddlebags onto her back while I monkied around with my own, trying and failing several times to lift them with my slate gray aura until finally succeeding (well, okay, Twi helped me a bit... shut up). A loud hiss of steam punctuated the grating metal-on-metal squeal as the doors slid open, revealing a tall stallion clad in golden armor. Before I could get a single word in, however, a lavender blur rushed by me and tackled said stallion to the ground.

“Twiley!” the alabaster stallion exclaimed as he recovered from getting the wind knocked out of him. Reaching up with a hoof, he ruffled the librarian's mane.

Smiling, I watched the two siblings have their little moment from my place in the doorway.

Have I mentioned before how adorable these fucking ponies can be?

“Shining!” she replied, nuzzling his cheek. “I really wish I could stay and catch up, but duty calls. Do you mind showing my friend around town and keeping him company until I get back?”

“Not at all,” the stallion answered as he rose to his hooves and dusted himself off. “I know how busy you can be. Just try not to overwork yourself, alright? Yes, that's asking you to do the impossible, but stil~

Cutting him off, Twilight immediately dashed away, exiting the station platform and darting off into the hustle and bustle of Equestria's capital.

Caught off-guard by the breakneck speed of the interaction I'd just witnessed, I failed to notice as the white stallion trotted up to me and outstretched his hoof.

“That's my little sis for you, ever the hard worker,” he smirked as he removed his helmet and flipped his two-tone blue mane to the side. “So, you must be the infamous Jeremy Robin.”

Shaking my head to regain my focus, I grinned sheepishly, unsure as to whether or not this infamy was something I should be too proud of.

Because... I mean, c'mon, I was already gaining a name around Ponyville as the guy who is perpetually in the process of losing his mental shit. Kinda embarrassing.

Thumping my hoof against his own, I nervously shuffled back and forth where I stood and said, “The one and the same.”

“Excellent, but hey, easy down there,” the unicorn retorted, smiling earnestly. I guess I must have been broadcasting my anxiety pretty clearly. “I don't mean any harm. The name's Shining Armor, I'm Twilight's older brother. She's told me a lot about you over these past few months.”

To say that the gears in my head had begun turning at that moment would be an understatement. They span so fast that a cog flew out and smacked another out of alignment.

I moved faster than even I knew I could. I hugged the guy right then and there, in much the same tackling fashion as his sister had just done.

“H-hey, what's this for?” he sputtered, surprised.

Stepping away with a blush, I looked off to the side and said, “Twilight's been taking care of me for a long time now, you know that, right?”

Shining Armor nodded.

“Well, as I got to know her, she started to mean more and more to me. I was going through... a rough patch. A really rough patch. You've heard bits and pieces of it, but it's... complicated. I hadn't had a good friend in a long time. I didn't really think much of friendship at all. I kind of thought of it as a joke. But then Twilight came along and showed me how wrong I was. She became my first friend in years. My best friend.”

Scratching at my head, feeling like I might be rambling yet again, I waved a hoof and continued, “Anyway, as she got me to open up and talk more and more about myself, I sometimes got her to do the same. I learned things about her. One of those things was just how much she cares about you. You mean the world to her, dude, you really do. It killed me when I found out that she'd been skipping her monthly picnics with you in order to continue taking care of my stupid ass. I just... it's going to sound weird, but I just wanted to thank you for being there for her. She means a lot to me, you know? The fact that I'm meeting her brother right now, one of the people... er... ponies who kept her strong means a lot to me. I... I sound like a gigantic dork right now, don't I?”

With a look of comprehension in his eyes, the white unicorn placed a hoof on my shoulder (an act that I obviously appeared to inadvertently warrant by this point) and stated, “I get what you're saying. And hey, I'm sorry that I couldn't see Twilight over the past couple of months too. It's been hard and, yes, we've been drifting apart. But that happens when great distances are involved and I'd like to think that we've been coping with it very well all the same. Besides, judging by what she's told me about you in her letters, I can't say that there's any hard feelings involved. It sounds like she's found herself another great friend in you. My sister, being who she is, hasn't always been the best at forming bonds with others. These days, she's gotten better about it, but that doesn't mean I'm any less thrilled when I hear she's found another.”

“Really?” I asked, taken aback.

Smiling, Shining Armor replied, “Absolutely. I've heard some things... some troubling things, to be sure. I still don't think she's given me the full picture, but she gave me enough.”

“Yeah, I... Alright, I'm gonna blurt this out as fast as possible, so just try and keep up. I mean, it's not like I'm a pussy or anything or I'm afraid to open the necessary can of beans, so don't go getting the wrong idea or anything, it's just still a little hard to talk abou~

Stuffing his hoof in my mouth, the guard captain nodded slowly and stated, “I'll tell you this one more time before I fall back into my military mindset and start ordering you to do laps around the palace to help burn off some of that excess nervous energy. Calm down. You can tell me at whatever pace you are most comfortable with. I won't judge you.”

Falling silent for a moment, I felt my rear legs give out beneath me. Involuntarily, I sat down right where I had been standing.

…

Alright, so this old chestnut. Here goes~

“I tried to kill myself,” I eventually managed, my tone as stoic as I could muster. “It was a dark time. I'm gonna repeat myself from earlier. A really dark time. Celestia intervened and brought me to Equestria, then she and Twilight made the decision to move me to Ponyville so I could learn the magic of friendship and all that jazz. Some time went by, I was recovering from an addiction to narcotics that I would really, really like to believe don't exist in this world, and I honestly thought that I was getting better. Then I took a jog inside my own brain and found out some things that I'd forced myself to forget... my sister dying, which I blamed myself for. There was some crying and I pretty much started questioning whether or not I was really worth saving; wondering if I should still go through with what I'd originally planned. But then a pony from a video game that shouldn't exist told me to calm the fuck down and talk to Twilight about it all.” Exhaling sharply, I found the strength to stand back up and added, “It's alright, I don't mind getting it out of the way. Well... I'm trying not to mind. It hurts, but it's not your fault. You're Twi's brother and she's my friend. I'd like to be your friend too and, at the end of the day, real friendship is built upon a sense of trust. I'd rather not lie to you... even if it's painful.”

Taking a step back, Shining Armor licked his lips once before saying, “And in a nice, short summary too. Uh... wow.”

In his defense, more or less the correct response.

“I like to be concise,” I replied, laughing dryly. “Anyway, as you were saying?”

All of a sudden, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my chest, which doesn't really make a ton of sense due to the consistent downward direction of gravity, but whatever.

I felt better after telling Twilight, so it only makes sense that I'd feel better after letting the cat out of the bag again, right? It's the act of getting those first few words out of the way and then letting the whole avalanche tumble down that was the hard part. I just needed to start. The finish would practically wrap itself up all on its own.

“Well, uh,” Shining picked back up, shrugging, “Twilight's told me all about you. Perhaps not all of that, but still enough to give me a good impression.”

A good impression? I'm still not entirely sure I'm capable of those, but okay.

“And... you still think Twilight's made a good friend in me?” I asked.

“You were at your worst for a while after you first arrived,” the stallion admitted, casting his eyes upward towards the brilliant blue sky above us, “but I've heard from both Twilight and the Princess how you can be when you're at your best. Hard working, quick witted, and loyal. I'm going out on a limb here, but I'm assuming that you'll want to speak with Princess Celestia sometime today, right?”

“Damn, am I really that obvious?” I chuckled, stamping a hoof in mock-frustration. “I was literally just talking to Twilight about that.”

“If it's any consolation, it's not that you're being obvious,” Shining retorted, “it's just clear that she helped you and it's written all over your face how much you actually appreciate it.”

“I'm not dead,” I whispered, mostly to myself.

I'm... not dead.

Sometimes you just have to remind yourself of all that you've got, even if it isn't much.

Taking a moment to look Shining Armor square in the eyes, I realized that, in fact, I had quite a fucking lot for a formerly suicidal junkie.

Quite a fucking lot indeed.

“Let's go pop in on the Princess,” I said with a smile, rolling my shoulders and stretching myself out. “I'm not sure if I've said it to her already or not, but there's always room for more than one 'thank you' if I have.”

A walk to the palace just wouldn't be complete without a random conversation, so long as I'm involved anyway.

Therefore~

“And I'm telling you, you just don't understand,” I argued, huffing as we approached a pair of massive golden doors. “You're a pony. You guys don't have cars... which could easily be just as much of a good thing as it could be a bad. You'd have more mobility, but unless you went totally electric it would come at the cost your environment. A give and take, I guess. Still, when I was a kid, one of the only things that mattered in the 90s was trying to decide which was cooler: the Ferrari Boxer or the Lamborghini Countach. Kind of old models at the time, but whatever. Both were absolutely and undeniably awesome, but the real question was which was more awesome. For little boys with dreams of driving a supremely badass car, it was a big deal, dude.”

Shaking his head, Shining Armor rebuked, “We have carriages, which are comparable to what you're talking about... I think. I can't say that the actual make or model has ever sparked an intense debate though.”

“And that's just it!” I exclaimed, pumping a hoof into the air for emphasis. “You should! You should totally have a carriage that's cooler than the rest! Not only does it 'spark' a drive in all other carriage makers to try and compete by putting out their own awesome models, but at the very least you'll have one that's truly the bee's knees, right?”

“To be honest, I always found Princess Luna's carriage to be pretty cool.”

“Haven't seen it.”

“You should then.”

“What's it look like?”

“Well, for one, it's pulled by her own personal Night Guard.”

“Let me guess, they have bat wings.”

Turning to face me as we walked, the guard captain asked, “How did you~

“Themes,” I answered with a smirk, winking at him. “Everything in this world appears to be thematic. Names especially, but that could also just be me railing against puns. Not a complaint as much as it is an observation, mind you. Princess Luna, from what I've seen and heard about her, has a night and darkness theme going on. It only fits that her guards would have bat wings.”

“And how exactly you came to that realization?”

“Eh, by being overtly genre savvy.”

“Semantics,” he groaned, rolling his eyes.

Yet another thing I'd come to quickly appreciate about Twilight's older brother. The guy could hold his own in a Seinfeldian Conversation. To me, that's important.

Plus, it didn't hurt that he grew up debating with a girl who's whole life practically revolved around reading books. If anything, he damn-well knew his way around conversational tropes. Trust me, that matters, yo.

“Well duh,” I replied, grinning like an idiot, “but back to the subject. Despite a severe lack of funds, something I'll always be proud of is the fact that I drove a pretty cool car. I couldn't just lie through my teeth and tell you that it was a good car, but it was certainly a cool one. The Jensen Interceptor. A fucking classic, man. I mean, sure, a British classic, but the British made the Supermarine Spitfire, so you can't just assume they wouldn't make another awesome machine eventually.”

“Spitfire?” Shining piqued, confused for some undisclosed reason.

“Yeah, a fighter plane,” I replied, my mind racing with images of aircrafts. “About as sexy as a big piece of metal could get. Primed and ready to take down the Germans to defend their pokey little island. You guys have pegasus...es, er, pegasi...? Whatever, you have flying ponies to do that kind of thing for you, so I suppose that aerospace machines are kind of unnecessary. Still, goddamn was it ever awesome. I came oh so very close to masturbating to that plane, dude, I shit you not.”

“Okay,” my faux-debate partner retorted, “that's far enough. How about we return to the topic of your car... whatever those are.”

“That rhymed.”

“You're as bad as my sister.”

“Hey, if it sticks out, I poke at it. I can't help it. My momma dropped me on my head.”

“Alright, you're worse than my sister.”

Heh, a compliment, whether he knows it or not.

With a sigh, Shining explained, “I have a long and storied history of arguing with Twilight about... well, just about everything. If there was a train of logic that could be applied to something, she would apply it and follow it until it could be followed no more.”

Of course! That's where he gets it from!

Quick mental note, “Debate with Twilight more often.”

“Alright, alright,” I conceded, “returning to the original subject. Jeez, you're a prude.”

“I'm married!” he countered, laughing nonetheless.

Intentionally dodging the concept of ponies that I know masturbating, I instead continued talking about my car of course.

“The Jensen Interceptor,” I gushed, caring not for how silly I must have looked while we trotted down the halls of Equestria's grandest palace, “it was pretty fucking sexy. That car, man. It looked great, sure, but I'll admit, it performed like crap. It was advertised as a muscle car... sort of, but it performed like an economy car. I'd say, 'Think Pinto', but you can't. So just think of a machine that sucks at its job even though it looks great.”

“The Mark VI printing press?” he responded, his eyebrows rising.

Not really sure how well a printing press (particularly, a printing press crafted by another universe's standards) compared in mechanical terms to the general unreliability of a car, I just answered with, “Yeah.”

Grinning, Shining chuckled, “You have no idea at all, do you?”

“Nope!” I jeered back, nudging him with a hoof. “And, to add to that, I don't care at all! At the very least, though, you're following what I'm talking about. That's what matters.”

“I suppose,” he replied with a laugh, pushing open another pair of doors as we ventured further into the palace.

“I have to admit, at the very least you're a gentlecolt,” the unicorn commented as we turned down what felt like the billionth corner.

Goddamn, how huge was this place again?

Did I need a sherpa to find the Princess?

Should I have brought a climbing harness?

“What?” I replied with a shrug. “Why? Don't get me wrong, I don't see myself as a lech or a creeper or anything, but a gentleman?”

“I'm just saying that with Twilight in season and everything, she hasn't once written to me about any 'unwanted attention' from you,” Shining answered, his voice neutral as though he hadn't said anything fucking weird at all.

So yeah...

My brain immediately screeched to a complete halt. There was probably some smoke. A fire extinguisher may be needed.

What.

What.

WHAT.

“What,” I eventually echoed, my jaw all over the floor.

Pausing, the guard apparently noticed that something must have happened; the color probably drained from my face or a screw had fallen out of one of my ears or something.

“Hey, Jeremy, you okay?” he asked, cautious concern in his voice.

“What,” I repeated.

I'd like you to keep in mind that we were still walking, turning corners and everything. I think I might have kicked on my body's cruise control while I tried and failed to process a piece of information that Old Jeremy would have just used copious amounts of vodka to delete.

“Should I... go get somepony?” Shining questioned, pulling us to a stop by stepping in front of me and looking me dead in the eyes. “One of the palace's staff doctors?”

Shaking my head vigorously, I blurted, “No!” Clamping my eyes shut, I lowered my voice and amended, “I mean, no... no, I'm alright. I was just trying desperately to find my brain's recycle bin. Girls don't... they don't go 'into season' where I'm from.”

“So I...” the white stallion began, steady realization bringing a hoof to the center of his forehead. “Oh, Celestia, I'm sorry.”

Sighing, I said, “Yeah, ignorance was bliss for a little while there.”

Placing a hoof on my shoulder, Shining Armor shook his head and added, “Okay, look, it's awkward, but it's already out in the open. We might as well get this next part out of the way right now.”

“You mean the part where you tell me to keep my han~ hooves off of your sister?”

“I would have worded it more amiably, but yes.”

Heaving another, much heavier sigh, I replied, “Look, dude, you might think you're being the protective big brother here, but calm down. Not only am I so very much not interested in any kind of sexual interaction right now, she's my fucking friend, man. When you boil down the facts, she basically saved my life and gave me a brand new one. She's pretty much my sister too. If anything, I'll be beating down all the other guys trying to get at her.”

“She was right,” he said from over his shoulder as he started down the hall again.

“She was what now?” I piqued in return, getting my own hooves into gear to keep up with him.

“She was right,” Shining repeated, a light chuckle accenting his words. “Twilight told me that you were an upstanding sort despite everything that you've been through. Some of the things you say might be a little rough around the edges... or just flat-out confusing, but I can see it for myself. I'm stuck up here guarding the palace, but I think I can rest easy knowing that Twilight has you there for support.”

“Good choice of words, yo,” I remarked. “'Support'. Remember, she's a grown girl, she doesn't need 'protecting'.”

“Ha, perish the thought!” he exclaimed, pretending for all of the world to be more angry than he really was. “She may be my little sister, but it's gotten to the point where I'm not sure if I can beat her in a fencing match anymore. She's just too good. The guards under my command love it when I lose to her.”

“I'll bet,” I smirked, imagining Twilight besting her bro in a heated round of swashbuckling.

But my brain, despite essentially being a supercomputer (which isn't me being full of myself, by the way, just factual), wasn't fast enough to finish processing what Shining had said. Whether or not I had recovered from my previous shock, I descended into it again after something else stuck me.

Goddammit, Rainbow Dash.

“OH MY GOD, THAT'S WHY SHE TOLD ME I SHOULD TAKE TWILIGHT OUT ON A DATE! THAT BITCH!”

Okay, another set of doors.

A big pair this time. Really big.

With ornate paintings covering them and everything.

This was, apparently, the last pair of doors that actually barred the public from their Princess of the Sun.

I wasn't prepared...

I'd been thinking of a lot of things to say or do once I met her again, but thoughts like that generally tend to fall to the back of my mind once I'm presented with the actual opportunity, you know?

Instead, I did what was probably expected of me.

I'm emotional. So sue me.

Celestia was in the middle of what looked like a court meeting with Equestria's nobility. Obviously, I lurched forward and hugged her on the spot.

Tact. It's not a word that I know a whole helluva lot about. Shining Armor was understandably horrified.

Clearing her throat, the Princess reacted surprisingly calmly and said, “Ladies and gentlecolts, it would appear that court is adjourned for today. I thank you all for joining, but it would seem that I have other matters to discuss. I hope that you can forgive me.”

The best thing about it all was the playful smile that never once left her face.

And still, the entire court simply nodded their heads and steadily left their seats, exiting the auditorium.

Sputtering, Shining quickly blurted out, “Princess, I'm sorry for the intrusion, we just~

“Prince Armor, this is not something to worry yourself over,” she said, as though it were the easiest thing in the world. “I have been expecting an audience with young Jeremy for some time.”

Prince... another easy thing is the fact that I forgot I'd just been hanging out with royalty for the better half of two hours.

Damn.

Jeremy Robin, way to get around, dude.

“Would you prefer that I wait outside the courtroom, Princess?” Shining asked.

Taking a moment to look between both the guard captain and I (because I don't always blow at grammar), Celestia replied, “No. I think it would behoove me to exclude you from this, Sir Armor. I should imagine that you and Jeremy have bonded over the course of your journey here.”

Uh... in a manner of speaking. I bond at my own pace. It's usually a slow one, but I'll admit, Shining was a total bro already.

“Yes,” he stated, holding his ground.

Like I said, total bro. Spike would be proud. Or is proud. Hell, Shining might even be the one that Spike got his bro-ness from.

“Jeremy,” Celestia began, pulling me from my thoughts, “how fare you?”

Daunted by speaking with one of my biggest benefactors, I stammeringly replied, “Uh... I fare... w-well...?”

With a musical chuckle, the Princess questioned, “Care to expound?”

Finding my voice a second time, I hastily forced myself to say, “Y-yeah, I'm doing great. Just great. I even went out on a couple of dates that Rainbow Dash pretty much threw at me and your sister gave me this dream so I could wrestle down some inner demons and Shining told me that his sister is in season and that I'm a gentleman or gentlestallion or whatever for not taking notice and oh my God I'm rambling.”

Clamping a hoof over my mouth, I screwed my eyes shut and, in my mind, punched myself in the face about five thousand times.

Nudging me in the side, Shining Armor whispered, “Friendship report. Friendship report.”

Oh.

Fucking duh.

Clearing my throat, perhaps not as respectfully as Celestia had (c'mon, I'm not a princess myself, so forgive me for my lack of social graces), I stated, “I've learned a lot over the past few months. A whole lot. I might swear a few times though, so forgive me. I've been told I'm a sailor stuck in another man's body.”

“However you are comfortable,” the Princess retorted amicably.

I turned to face Shining Armor, who had said the same only hours before.

Were all these ponies so understanding? If so, man, my human world could learn a lot from them. Love and tolerance, dude.

“I learned a lot,” I said, pushing myself on to complete what originally wasn't even a completed thought. “I learned about friendship. I learned about the bonds that bind it. It might not take an unforeseen force to link others together, but it helps. I, uh, I came here to thank you, Princess. To thank you for saving me and introducing me to Twilight. She's... I'm not sure. She's fixed me. It's hard to imagine my mind as a broken machine that needs fixing, like a printing press or something, but dammit if that's not how it feels. I gained a great friend in her and, in doing so, gained something that I'd been lacking for a long time. I can see why she's your personal student.”

That last comment, apparently, piqued Celestia's interest.

“Oh?” she replied, smiling softly. “How so?”

For fuck's sake, I hate being toyed with.

She knew 'how so'.

“Because she's amazing,” I said, not budging an inch as Shining eyed me curiously. “Because she always had the ability to make friends but never gave herself the chance. Because... she's sort of like me... but better. I don't want to really argue this, mind you, I'm just saying what I feel. She's better, she's further along the line of understanding what it means to connect with other people than I am... and I'm just now getting there. And when you first met her, like me, she wasn't. She was a recluse. But, somehow, you saw the potential in her regardless, and I'm not talking about the potential for magic. You saw that she could bring people together. You saw that.”

My stallion bro started tearing up a bit.

“She... brought me back from a dark place,” I continued, scuffing my hooves against the tiled floor. “To sort of repeat myself again, or again again if you count my thoughts, she brought me back from my darkest place. If I were writing this out as a story, I'd even italicize the same place. And you trusted her with that task. And you were... right.”

“Twilight Sparkle is an astounding pony,” the Princess said simply.

It was as though everything were planned in advance, and considering the way in which I'd been brought here, everything had indeed.

“Princess?” I questioned, my thoughts churning like a maelstrom. “Was I brought here for a purpose?”

Helpfully, Shining Armor interjected with, “Self-doubt is the key to self-destruction.”

Which I considered for a brief moment.

Self-doubt was practically a main component to who I was as a person.

“Indeed,” Celestia stated, draping a wing over my shoulder, “do not fret over things such as 'why you are here' and 'what purpose you might serve'. As it stands, you are here now. That is what matters. There may very well be machinations in store for you, but I do not know of them. I simply saw a man in a moment of desperation and chose to help him. Sometimes we see pain, in all of its myriad forms, and we cannot bare it. I will not argue that yours was greater than that of others, as such an argument would undoubtedly be unfair, but I saw a pain that I myself could not bare.”

Hugging the tall pony even tighter, I said, “And I for one am thankful.”

The words might have come out more blubbery, but fuck you, I was in the moment.

“And I see that,” Celestia said, nuzzling my cheek. “Jeremy, I know that there must be many questions and I will try to answer as many as is possible.”

“Can I go home?”

“Do you want to go home?”

Oh...

Wow...

Now there was a question I hadn't thought about.

…

…

…

After several more dot-dot-dots that I'm sure weren't included, I answered, “No. There's... nothing left for me there anymore. I'm not trying to sound depressing, I'm just speaking the truth. I wasn't much in my own realm. Success was a word that I would have hardly understood. But here? I'm starting to think that I could make a difference. Do... do you think I could?”

With the most genuine (and to me, the most heartbreaking smile), Celestia replied, “I do.”

It took me a moment, but eventually I asked, “...Why?”

The retort was simple. So simple that it almost hurt.

Wait... no, it did hurt.

“Because you think you can,” the Princess stated.

Expected or not, it still took me a moment to deal with it.

I was believed in.

Do you know what that feels like? If not, try the most amazing thing in the world. In the cosmos. In the universe.

“You really think I can?” I asked again, my eyes watering.

Wrapping her forehooves around me, Celestia quietly responded, “I know it.”

Which was all it took for the dams to burst.

Here I was, facing the literal goddess who pioneered saving my life.

It's not easy holding a straight face in light of that. Trust me.

“Thank you!” I cried.

I stood before one of my saviors. And I dissolved into a sobbing wreck.

And she held me.

And I continued to cry.

And she still held me.

To be continued in Chapter Seventeen – The OTHER Pink One...