I slowly became conscious again, as if I had woken up from a very deep slumber. I found myself floating in some kind of dark space. I couldn’t move, or even feel, my body, so I just waited. It got boring pretty soon, but I was too confused to try anything. Another draconequus was in front of me. I don’t know when he or she (I saw big eyelashes, so she) appeared, it was as if she had always been there and I had just recently noticed her. I am unable to describe her body, as her body parts kept on changing with no pattern at all.

“Y͇͕̓̀̅ͬͣ̀o̷̹͔͌̾͌̂̌͡u͋̏ͦ̽ͪͭͦ͏͏̺̞̳̠ ̷̷͚̱̪͚͋̈h̢̩̣̩̦̼̳̏͑̀ͧ͆̅̏͒a̧̟̼͕͇̱̝̦̋ͨ͌ͨͤ͆͌̽ͅͅv̧̢̜̗͒̋̐͑ͤ̕ͅẹ̛̩͓̝̼̭̜ͧ̆̔̏̀ͭ͜͜ ̤̳̩̟͆̽̑̐̎̃͜ͅa̛͚̦̼̩̭͂ļ̱̲̫̬̽͌͐̏̄r͕͉͈͌̌ͨ̐ḙ̛̻̈̑̆a̞̥̳̪̐̈́̀ͪ̽̓ͩ̐͘d̴̩̱̠̞̮̙͗̔͐̄̋y̷͔͌̓͠ ̶̪̠̩̜̬͍̙͐̔͂̌͂̽̀͘k̸͔̩͎ͪ̑̀̅ͤͫ͢ī̵͙̫̑̎̇́͞ļ̏ͣͫ̏̕͏͓̟̪ḽ̨̘̺̆̏eͤ̓̿̿̂̔͗̂̕͏̪͈͇̰d̫̱̻̬ͧͣ̍ͦ ̷̪̙͍̼̜̗̗̩ͩ̔ͫ̽́̌̾͌ͮ͘y̨͔̓̈ͧͭ̑̔̈̀o̷̱͕̗͒ͯͨ͆͡u̶̼͙̒r͍͎̟̤͖̃ͬ͗͆̅̋̊s̷͙͇͈͖̗̱̝̣̈̏ͧ̆̀́ȩ̡̻̏̒ͪ͂̾̚ļ̣͔̜̩̤̭͉͙ͫ̀f͖̖̯̬̪͚͌̌̀̕,̵̗̙͚̀ͥ͛̑̎̽ ̢͙̼̺͓̜͌͐̒̑ͫḃ̶̷͍͓͚̥͌́̓͋̐͒e͐͐҉̯̭͚̟̼͇̲̥͎́͞ ͎̳͇̤̐̀̐ͫ̾ͬ̒͡m͒ͯ̈́̒̐̔̌ͪ̊͏̳̪̟͖̬͟o͈̱̮̰̒͆ͬř̥͓̞̍͗̀͗̓̎̃e̳̖͎̼̣̼̓̒̾̉ ̫̂̍͗̊ͮ͒č̡̛̭̠͓̝̙͈̰a̩̲̗̼͙̪̺ͬ̕r̢̧͇̠̰̒͆͗ͥ̾̏e̪̭͈̰̫̼̩ͥ͗̽͜ͅf̸̜͔̝̲͕͇̜̱͐ͨ̈̈́͊̓ͪ̐u̫͆ͧͥ͘͠ľ̵͚͕̜͍̬̤ͮͤͣ̽̒͐̔ ̨̼̦͈͈͔̈́͜ͅṅ͍̺̦̗̠̣̫̘̓͘͟e͎̼̤̭̓ͪͅx̒͋̀̽҉̼̪̥̬͎̤̱t̸͈͖̹͔ͧ̈́͆̚ ̷̖͇̪͓̥̣̳ͯ̀͒t̜̜̹̭̞̥̙̪ͫ̆ͭ̒ͣͩͤ͟͜i͇͉̰͖̊̌ͨ̏m̛̪̗̱͉͈̭̬̀ͪ̀ͯ̊̂̿͜͡e̴̴̼̼̬ͫ̏ͧ̾̃̾ͦ̆ͅ.̭ͫͣ”

“What? I don’t understand you,” I managed to say, overcoming my fear.

She snapped her fingers and became Shay Nimrod.

“Yo̷u ha̵ve̴ ͘a̶l҉r̶e͞a͠dy̴ kil̕l͟ed͢ yourse̶lf, be͞ m̶o̵re c̢ar̨e͜fu͠l̀ ͜ne̴x̴t t͠im̀e, idiot.”

“Killed myself? What are you talking about?! What’s going on?!” I asked, even more scared than before.

“Y͜o̢u̧ ҉a҉re ̴mine̸ to ̕t̴oy ͟w͡ith͏,̨ ̷y̴ou ͟will͝ ͢d͠o͝ ͏my͠ bi̶dḑi̕n̵g̶ wit̶h or ẁith͠òu͏t҉ y͘our ͏c̀onsen̛t͞. ̧Bu͠t i̢f yo̸u di͡e̕ ͟aǵai҉n,͟ yo҉u̕ ͝w͟il͡l ̢lęa̸rn th̡e ́m̸ean̶įng ͠o͟f ͟s̨uf͞fe̴r̕in͝g. GOT IT?!” she was VERY scary.

“Alright, alright! I will be more careful next time! But how am I supposed to do anything with a body I don’t understand,” I asked with desperation, forgetting that she hadn’t answered my questions.

She grumbled with an inhumane voice and placed her right index finger in my forehead. I felt the worst imaginable pain for the fraction of a second she was touching me. I don't know how to describe it. It was like her finger was a red hot iron that managed to burn all of my nerves at the same time, or like being eaten alive by a miriad of rats. The pain disappeared as soon as she pulled her finger back.

“Do you know how hard it was to send you to Equestria?!” she shouted, this time I could understand her without problems, “I am not Discord, I can’t just kick you into another universe after chatting over a coffee and continue with my day!” She breathed and continued talking without shouting, “I have placed a curse on you that won’t let you perform a magical feat that will kill you. You won’t find a way back to Earth, so I suggest you to enjoy your new Equestrian life. Now go back there and do NOT die again!”

She vanished before I could say anything and I felt like I was in the fastest merry-go-round in the world. I closed my eyes until I stopped spinning, and when I opened them I was in the same forest again.

I was hit by a mix of emotions that had the combined force of a tornado. I was afraid of the divine beings that had sent me and apparently were watching my every move, I was confused because the rational part of my mind couldn’t believe what was happening to me, I also felt anger against myself and the universe for my situation, as well as desperation because everything was real and not just a bad dream. That’s why I did what every rational man would have done in my situation: I curled into a ball and started crying. This same morning I woke up at home and played Skyrim, for fuck’s sake! I cried until I could overcome my emotions and control myself.

I saw something blue just above my head when I opened my eyes and cleared them from the tears (which apparently were lethal for the grass in which they fell). I looked up, but it moved with my eyes, always in the top of my field vision. After a few moments turning my head and rolling in the ground I realized that it was a blue bar, like the ones that tell you how much magic you have left in video games.

“She gave me a freaking mana bar,” I thought aloud, “now, how do I magic?” The idea of having Discord’s powers was so appealing that it stopped me from going back to self-pity and sadness.

After a series of unsuccessful, frustrating, and embarrassing tentatives that I will not describe, I learned how to do magic. I had to focus on my head, as I did with the rest of my body for the transformations. Then I only had to will something and it would happen. I tried levitating fallen leaves, which didn’t affect my magic reserves enough to be noticeable, then I created a glass of chocolate milk, which was a bit more taxing. I tried to focus my magic on a hand, like Discord had done in the show. My ent arm glowed with a faint golden light, and when I moved a rock I noticed how my grip was firmer and stronger than before. I stopped at that, as I didn’t how to refill my magic reserves yet. Next, I tried to turn into a human, but my mana bar turned red and nothing happened. I guess that means I have not enough power to do it, right?

I became an owl, noticing how the bar had already lost a tenth of its length. I flew out of the forest, as I had decided that I should got to the nearest town and try to find where I was. I expected the experience of flying to be more amazing and exciting, but I felt as if I had been flying since I was a child, killing the excitement I would have felt otherwise. I noticed that the sun was already setting, so I had been “dead” for many hours. I could see a small road and an earth pony walking on it two kilometers away thanks to the acute sight of my owl body. I flew towards him, planning how to meet him without causing him to panic.

I landed three hundred meters ahead of the pony and turned into a bull where he couldn’t see me, intending to act as a lost traveller. I discovered that I couldn’t do magic while being a bull when I tried to materialize saddlebags to improve my alibi. I was feeling hungry, so I decided to try grazing while the pony arrived. Om nom nom nom nom, grazing is the best thing ever! I found that the grass tasted good, and on top of that eating like that was a relaxing activity. I was ruminating when the pony saw me. I looked up, as if I had just heard his hoofsteps.

“You there!” I said after swallowing the half-digested grass.

“Me?” he asked.

“Yes, you, what’s your name?” I said, trying to sound friendly as I could see that I scared him.

“My name is Salted Chips, sir,” what kind of asshole names his son Salted Chips?

“Chips, do you know where the closest town is? I am travelling through Equestria and I am a bit lost,” he seemed to calm down when I explained my situation.

“I am headed to Fillydelphia, it’s just behind that hill,” he pointed to the horizon with a foreleg, “other than that, these lands have many farms.”

“I’ve been sleeping in barns for two weeks, so Fillydelphia it is. Mind if I accompany you?”

“I sure won’t mind, mister...”

“Havoc,” I answered without thinking. Wait, that’s not my real name! I am... Er... Oh shit I HAVE FORGOTTEN MY NAME!!! What kind of sorcery is this?! I frowned, unable to understand why my real name had been replaced by Havoc in my mind and trying to remember it.

“Are you alright?” the pony asked, worried by my sudden silence.

“Eh... Yes... I... My dinner has passed to my second stomach, I always get distracted when that happens. Don’t worry,” my explanation surprised me. I would have never come up with such an excuse in a normal situation.

He shrugged and I joined him. He was a medium-sized stallion, which looked like a foal next to me. I didn’t know if he was young or old, as his face didn’t give me any hint. He had a brown coat and a black mane, and his cutie mark was a potato. He was pulling a cart full of bags so I offered myself to pull it for him to earn his trust. He was thankful for it and my stronger body wasn’t slowed at all by the extra weight.

“So... You are a farmer?” I asked, trying to start a conversation.

“Yep, I work at my family’s farm.”

I decided not to pry on why he was carrying a loaded cart to the city in the evening.

“There’s not much to tell about myself,” he continued, “unless you want me to go into the details of growing potatoes. I would rather listen to your story, it’s not everyday that you find a bull in Equestria.”

I knew I had no idea about how uncommon bulls were in Equestria, as the only mention to bovines in the show was that stampede which Applejack stopped, so I hoped he didn’t know much more.

“I don’t have much to tell, either,” I began, trying to make up a convincing story, “I was the youngest male in my herd, so my chances of leading my own herd were next to none. I decided to leave my homeland and travel around Equestria, as I know there are many of my race living here. I want to learn more about your land and about myself.”

“That’s nice, I guess,” he said after a few seconds.

“My other reason to visit this land is that Equestrian cows have the best shaped flanks,” I sultry added, making him laugh.

I decided to let him do the talking before I made a mistake that would make him suspect. He talked about his family, his job, and why he wanted to arrive at Fillydelphia with his salted chips when the sun was already down. Apparently, it was the only way to have a decent spot in the town’s Friday market to sell his goods. The awkwardness of being a bull talking to a pony soon disappeared and I found myself enjoying his company. It was a nice change after being stabbed, thrown to another universe, almost killed by farmers, killed by myself and resurrected and threatened by the same creature that got me in this mess. It almost made me forget that I was lost in an unknown universe/dimension/thing and that I didn’t even remember my real name.

We arrived at Fillydelphia when the Moon was high in the sky. It was like Ponyville in the show, only bigger. I followed Salted Chips to the marketplace, where a few other ponies had already put up their stalls and were sleeping behind the counters. He freed me from the cart and proceeded to set up his own stall. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to help him without hands, but I found I was somehow able to manipulate things with my cloven hooves. It didn’t make any sense, but it worked so I didn’t question it. I had already learned that the less I thought about how things worked with my body (or bodies), the better.
I remembered I had no money, so my chances of sleeping under a roof were slim. I shared my concerns with Salted.

“No problem,” he said, “you helped me with the cart, so the least I can do is letting you sleep here with me.”

We were a little bit crowded in the small between the counter and his sacks of chips, but we were covered by the stall’s canopy and warm, so I didn’t complain. In fact, I was grateful. This might not be so bad, after all, I could end up preferring this over my previous life.

“Wake up!” someone said.

“Five minutes more...” I replied out of instinct.

“I can’t sell anything if you are sleeping in the middle, get up Havoc.”

“Huh?” Then it clicked. I don’t know how I managed not to scream and jump when I realized that I was still in Equestria and everything that had happened to me the day before was real. “Oh, sorry Salted.”

“I will be here the whole day selling my chips,” he explained as I left the stall, “what are you going to do?”

“Hm... I will go to the town’s library. I don’t know where to go next, maybe I will find inspiration in a book.”

“Alright. If you don’t find anything, I know a few farmers around who would like to have a strong bull watching over the cows.”

“I’ll consider it. Thank you for everything, I owe you one.”

“You owe me nothing, you carried my cart here, so we are even,”

He told me where to find the library and we said our goodbyes. I found the building soon enough, even if it looked just like the houses around. I assumed the librarian lived inside, like Twilight in Ponyville, so I knocked on the door and a male voice told me to come in. I opened the door and started walking, only to be stopped by the doorframe, which was too narrow for my horns. After a few tries, I managed to get inside without breaking anything. I had not noticed an old unicorn stallion looking at me from inside while trying not to laugh.

“Welcome to-” he paused and covered his mouth with his hoof, after a few seconds he tried again, “welcome to Fillydel-,” he paused again, having a hard time containing his laugher.

“Yeah, I know it was funny, knock yourself out,” when I said that he started guffawing and didn’t stop in a full minute.

“I’m sorry, but not many funny things happen in here and that was hilarious,” he finally said, “welcome to Fillydelphia’s library, I am Obscure Scroll, the librarian, may I help you?”

He was white coated with a balding brown mane and his cutie mark a black scroll. Obscure Scroll? He hope he isn’t a Cthulhu cultist or something like that.

“I am Strong Will, nice to meet you. I am travelling around Equestria and I would like to check a map,” I had never been a good liar back home, but since I became a draconequus my improvisation skills had improved somehow.

“Well, I have all sorts of maps: pocket maps, road maps, ancient maps, huge and detailed maps...”

“I think a road map will be the best for me.”

“Local or national?”

“National.”

“I’ll find them for you, sit here and relax,” he pointed towards a small chair which would surely be crushed under my weight.

“On a second thought, please sit down in the floor, I have nothing for somepony like you to sit on," he added when I looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

He left me alone in the main room for a few seconds before returning with the map. He opened it on a table. Equestria occupied most of it (obviously), with the names of the bordering nations in the... borders. Fillydelphia was in the East, with Canterlot and Ponyville in the centre. The only big city between Canterlot and Fillydelphia was Stalliongrad. I didn’t pay attention to the rest of the cities, as I had decided to visit Ponyville. I really, really wanted to see the mane six, after all.

“Do you have newspapers here?” I asked when I was sure (more or less) that I could find my way to Ponyville.

“I only have old numbers back in the archive. I guess you want today’s newspaper.”

“You are right. Can I check out books and return them in another town?”

“I’m sorry, but that is not possible.”

“One last thing,” I said, knowing I could get in trouble with my next question, “when was the Royal Wedding?”

“It was three months ago, why?”

“Well, it seems that you ponies are always being attacked by strange creatures, what with that dracothing and the changelings. I would like to know more about those monsters, just in case I have an encounter with one of them in my travels.”

“Well, there is a lot of information about Discord which has resurfaced in many libraries and personal collections since his reappearance, most of it written shortly after his first defeat. This library has a few of those books. But he’s the only one of his kind, so you don’t have to worry about that. However, changelings are still a mystery for us, and I don’t know if the few information I have about them is reliable.”

“Let’s see what you’ve got, about both of them.”

I spent most of the day reading in the library. I learned a lot about Discord’s past and specially his powers, which for all I knew could be my powers now. I wasn’t really interested in changelings, but I wanted to know if my transformations were similar to theirs. The books didn’t give me enough information to sort that out, and they contradicted each other. Darwhinny’s book classified them as ant-like insects, while Aberdeer’s bestiary stated that they were distant evolutionary cousins of ponies. It was really frustrating, and it was late in the afternoon AND I hadn’t even had breakfast, so I decided I should leave the library to eat something.

“I’m quite done here, goodbye mister Scrolls, and thank you for your help.”

“...Could you help me with something?” he asked when I was already at the door, “it will be only a minute.”

“What is it?”

“You have a very intriguing pair of eyes. Would you mind if I take a photo of your face and send it to the local university?”

Eyes? What’s wrong with my eyes?

“I’m used to ponies and cows alike looking at me funny because of them, so go ahead,” I replied, a bit worried. What if it is something that allows them to know I am not a real bull?

He took the photo with an instant camera. He showed it to me: I still had chimpanzee eyes. Crap, I need to find a way to change my eyes or I may have problems later.

“Thanks, mister Strong.”

“You’re welcome,” I replied, leaving.

I was about to exit the building, pondering on what I should do next, when something collided hard against me. I didn’t expect it, and the surprise somehow broke my transformation, turning me back into a draconequus. The pegasus mare who had collided with me and was now sitting on my lap looked at me with her mouth agape.

“... I can explain?” I said, hoping it would work.

She inhaled to scream, but I put my right hand over her mouth, while grabbing her with my ent arm. Shit. I heard a high-pitched, feminine scream of panic behind me. SHIT. I turned, expecting another mare, but I only saw Obscure Scroll screaming like a girl. Lol, no wait, this is serious. Shit, I have to leave before the police, or whatever these ponies have, come here and capture me! I violently threw the mare to the stallion, knocking him over. Then I left the building, turning back momentarily to make the photo burn with a burst of magic, and I became an owl to leave the town as soon as possible. A few bystanders saw everything, and a pegasus stallion took off and started chasing me. He was faster than me, and I wouldn’t be able to beat him as an owl, so I waited until he was about to grab me with his hooves and I turned into a dragon. I grabbed him with a claw and punched him in his surprised face, knocking him down, then I flew down until I could safely drop him on the ground. After flying for a few seconds more pegasi, this time wearing police caps, surrounded me.

“Stop right there, abomination!” one of them ordered.

“Alright, alright! Let’s act like civilized ponies,” I replied as I landed, “I’m sure we can-”

“Now!” the same pegasus shouted.

I was enveloped in a multi colored aura which forced me to lay on all fours. Three police unicorns were pointing at me with their glowing horns, immobilizing my limbs.

“That was uncalled for!” I shouted.

“He’s resisting arrest!” one of the unicorns shouted, then I felt a burning pain and all my muscles contracted. That fucker is electrocuting me! Now THIS is police brutality.

“Good work, now we can return this monster to Tartarus,” a voice behind me said when the unicorn stopped his attack.

It was then that something in my mind snapped. I started getting angrier by the seconds, I had never felt such a strong hate, it was almost intoxicating. I went from scared to totally berserk in the lapse of ten seconds. The rational part of my mind said goodbye and something darker, twisted and chaotic took over.

“Kill your mother and rape your dog!!!” I shouted, and I breathed fire towards the unicorn in front of me, forcing him to cancel his spell and avoid the flames. I changed into bear and broke the magical grip of the remaining unicorns with my improved strength. I ran past the policeponies, mauling a pegasus who got in the way with a claw, and entered a small alley. Had I not been in a rage-driven bloodlust, I would have turned into a frog before they could see me and jump into the sewers.

But I WAS in a rage-driven bloodlust so I morphed into draconequus and turned back, facing the three unicorns from before and ten pegasi. I don’t know how long I fought. My memories of the fight are like a dream which you can’t barely remember when you wake up. I remember breaking a pony’s neck with my ent arm, throwing pies filled with sulfuric acid at their faces. I also remember being hit by a blunt and heavy object in the head, as that hit snapped me out of my frenzy. I dropped the dead pony I had been using as a weapon and looked up. A pegasus was holding with his mouth a huge frying pan which had the shape of my head. I was bleeding from many superficial wounds and I also had singed fur. There were a lot of ponies around me now, and they noticed that I had lost my focus, so they all charged at the same time. I instinctively used my magic to create an energy wave that threw most of them backwards, then I created a flash of light just before resorting to my original plan: turn into a frog and hide in the sewers.

Following the currents of fecal water to the part of the river where all of the pony poop from the town ended was a very nauseating experience that I will not recount. The worst part was that I had to swim for a while, and I will leave it at that...

...So much pony shit...

I didn’t find any kind of sewage treatment plant, so I decided never to drink water from a river unless I had no choice. I left the river and changed into diamond dog, one of the forms I hadn’t used to fight the ponies. I was the only living thing around, probably due to the terrible smell, which was almost painful for my sensitive nose.

Okay, let’s think things through. What the fuck did just happen to me back there?! I have never gone berserk like that! Oh my- How many ponies have I killed?! Shitshitshitshitshitshit now Celestia will kill me or turn me into stone the moment I appear before her instead of helping me to return to Earth! I... I have killed ponies! I have MURDERED them and I have ENJOYED it!

I will not lie: I cried my eyes out again. I had been in Equestria for less than 48 hours and I had already killed ponies and probably became an enemy of the nation. I just wanted to meet the ponies from the show, maybe have a little fun and then find a way to return to Earth, it wasn’t that much to ask, was it?

I finally managed to calm myself and tried to analyze my situation. I took a look at my mana bar and found, to my surprise, that it was bigger than when I arrived at Fillydelphia.

First: How did I manage to do all those transformations and fighting and end up with more energy? ...I am a draconequus, so I am a spirit of chaos and disharmony, right? Could it be that whenever I am around ponies I gain energy? Or maybe it’s the chaos? Could it be because I killed them? I need to do more testing. Except for the killing, I will never kill a pony again.
Second: Why did I go bananas? What was the trigger? Is there a way to avoid it? Why didn’t it happen when the Pie’s attacked me?
Third: How do the transformations work? Do I have to feed all of them? Can I survive just by feeding one body? What does a draconequus eat? Do injuries in a body heal over time while I have another body? Do I waste magic over time when I’m not a draconequus? Why did I stop being a bull when I was surprised, but not when I fell asleep?

I had too many questions, and I had to find an answer to most of them before even trying to enter another town. I knew I had to travel West if I wanted to arrive at Ponyville, but I decided to avoid the road and walk by the forest. That way I would be able to master my draconequus body and magic without the risks of being sighted by ponies. I will just spend a few days in the forest, then I will go back to civilization.