Martin... Yes... Now I remember...

Havoc’s human life flashed before his eyes.

I was born in 1985 in San Diego. My name was Martin Thompson. From an early age I considered the world I lived in a boring place. School was boring, my parents and my little sister were boring, the games most children played soon became boring, too. However, I found ways to escape from the boredom. Roleplaying games, fantasy books, science fiction, video games, Internet. I spent my teen years thinking of Star Wars, D&D and the occasional girl while barely passing my exams.

Names and faces surrounded him, his overwhelmed mind processing all the information that had been locked away for so long.

This, of course, lured bullies towards me. What they didn’t know was that one of the boring things my father taught me was boxing, and that he forced me to train with him during all the years I lived with my parents. When a group of idiots took my Space Marines from me and tried to play keep away at my expense while calling me names, I punched their leader right in the face, like my father taught me, breaking his nose. I was suspended from school for three days, and after that only the ones that were older than me dared to annoy me, and most of those chose easier prey.

The facts and images were accompanied by memories of smells, sounds, feelings and thoughts.

When I finished highschool I realized that, in order to have fun with my hobbies, I needed money, and to earn money I needed a job. As I thought that all the jobs were boring, I tried to choose the one which would give me the most earnings. I was better with numbers than with anything else, so I studied to be an accountant. Going to the university changed the way I lived. I kept on playing games, such as World of Warcraft, but for the first time in my life my focus was on “real life” instead of my hobbies. What I lacked in intelligence, I made up in hours of study. I met new people, and I started to behave more like “normal” people. Unfortunately, I found that boring, too. Dancing, drinking a lot, doing whatever was needed to get laid; all of it became monotonous in less than a year. By the time I finished my studies, I was like Twilight Sparkle, as I spent most of my time studying. I even stopped caring about sex, as I found porn and masturbation easier and quicker than managing to lure a girl to my bed, or having a romantic relationship.

When I discovered ponies, I already had a job, a car and a rented flat. I followed a very simple routine: go to work, go back home and watch ponies, sleep, repeat. I would occasionally hang out with the friends I had made at school, university and my workplace, as a part of me knew that avoiding social contact altogether and becoming a social outcast wasn’t a good idea. Besides, I found that getting drunk, going to a disco and trying to get some wasn’t that boring when I did it once in awhile instead of every weekend.

That was my life when Disharmony sent me to Equestria. It wasn’t the best life, but I was happy with it. I loved my family and my friends, even if I often found them boring. Now I can’t return to them, and they will grieve for my disappearance or death! It’s her fault! SHE BROUGHT ME HERE! SHE KILLED ME! I’LL MAKE HER PAY!
R͟EV̴͘É̕N͘҉͢GE ͢WI͢͢L̴͞L B̶͢͝E͝ ͜MI̶̧N͏Ȩ́͞,̶̵͠ ̴͢Ń̕͡O̷̷̕ ͝͡MAT̀͜T̕͏͡E̸̡͘R͟ W̕H̷AŢ ͞ÌT̕ ̸̡͡TA̵K҉́É͢S!

Havoc woke up and roared with a blind rage. Immediately, Turmoil held him down with his superior strength and size. Havoc struggled against the older draconequus and tried to bite him, too enraged to think of using magic against him, but Turmoil didn’t let him go until he calmed down, twenty minutes later.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” muttered Havoc. “Damn, you are strong.”

“You have been unconscious for two hours,” said Turmoil as he released Havoc from his iron grip. “We had to carry you out of the castle. It was really hard for me to carry you deep into the containment corridor until we were small enough for Diane to carry both of us on her back.”

“And then he stared into the distance and stood still without doing anything for half an hour!” exclaimed Diane. “It was scary, almost as scary as you when you woke up.”

“A lot of things happened when I left the containment chamber,” explained Turmoil. “But we can talk about that later. How are you, Martin? I remember that when I got all my memories back I also woke up a bit angry.”

“I’m fine, I guess,” Havoc replied. “I... Call me Havoc, it feels weird to be called Martin.”

“I understand. My real name also makes me feel uncomfortable. Look, I don’t have much time, and there are some things you must know if you don't want to die in the next weeks, so I’ll just tell you and leave.”

“Alright, I’m listening.”

“A draconequus minor’s power is measured by how many creatures he’s made of. I’m made of only three creatures, which is the least we can have. If you ever face a draconequus made of more creatures, he will have more powers than you, and he will be able to store more chaos energy in his body without danger. Real draconequi, on the other hand, can have as many parts as they wish and will always be more powerful than a minor. For example, I can’t teleport, and you can, but you probably can’t use your chaos magic to perform spells that require precise control, such as creating complex machinery or mind controlling ponies. However, having more options at their disposal doesn’t make them necessarily stronger. I am physically stronger than you, and you can always be lucky and have more energy at your disposal, which will be helpful in chaos fights. A chaos fight is-”

“I know what they are,” Havoc interrupted him. “But what’s that about storing too much energy?”

“There’s a limit to how much energy you can store in your body. Surpassing it can have many different outcomes, we are dealing with chaos magic, after all. If you have only a bit more than you can keep your body will gradually release it, and it’ll probably affect your surroundings. However, if this happens in your chaos domain, or you take way too much magic, your body won’t be able to drop the extra energy and it will become unstable. Usually, you will turn into a huge eldritch abomination and go crazy until you spend the extra energy.”

“Chaos domain?”

“You don’t know about that?” Turmoil asked, incredulous. “How have you survived until now without succumbing to the chaos thirst or dying due to lack of magic? This is unbelievable, I’ll teach you how to do it right now.”

To create a chaos domain, a draconequus must release his chaos magic in the target place. When enough chaos magic is released, it will feed on itself and grow on its own. The environmental magic will become chaos magic, which will drastically change the domain according to the draconequus’ will. Clouds might turn into cotton candy and rain chocolate, or maybe they will become sentient and fight each other with swords made of lightning, the animals will alter their behaviour, and bunnies could hunt wolves while pigs climb singing trees to eat chocolate honey made by eagles. In such a place, a draconequus will gain great amounts of chaos energy just by standing around, and the madness that comes from chaos deprivation won’t take over the mind of the draconequi minor. As Turmoil explained all of this to Havoc, he remembered that he had done something similar on a smaller scale when, in Granite Back, he had made his room be as chaotic as possible.

“You also have to be careful with the ley lines, most of them are too strong for you to make a chaos domain in their vicinity. It will be like a child trying to make a sand castle on a beach with two meters tall waves.”

“Ley lines?”

Turmoil facepalmed so hard that he was forced to heal his broken fingers and fissured skull afterwards. “For God’s sake... How can you know so little? The ley lines are currents of magic that cross the entire world and converge in certain places. The Everfree Forest in one of those places, that’s why the magic isn’t tamed like the rest of Equestria, their effects are too powerful for earth pony magic to alter the land. Can’t you feel them below you or something?”

“... Should I? The only magic I’m feeling is the one coming from Diane.”

“Huh?” said Diane, who had zoned out while the draconequi talked.

“Hm... Your ability to sense magic must be off. You should be able to feel my magic, too, since I’m not hiding myself, and the environmental magic of this forest is also noticeable. Maybe some meditation will help you ‘open your third eye’.”

“Ugh, I hate meditation. Can’t I have some sort of epic training with lots of danger and a time limit to open my third eye before I lose the ability forever?”

“No, I don’t have time to do that,” Turmoil replied. “You see, when my master died, his powers passed to me, and now I am a real draconequus, or draconequus major, whatever you want to call it. That’s why I could guess your real name and see what happened in other universes. However, I couldn’t properly use my powers while trapped in the containment chamber, so I couldn’t see what happened here and I couldn’t communicate with anyone. Now that I am free, some of the other draconequi have contacted me. They want me to leave this universe so I can go to their homeland and complete my transformation into a real draconequus. I want you to give me some of your energy so I can use it to leave this universe in return for my teachings.”

“Well, I guess it’s a fair deal,” Havoc replied.

Turmoil reached towards his belly-button with his paws, and he revealed that it was an USB port. Havoc made a USB connector grow on his, and he inserted it on Turmoil’s port.

“No homo,” said Havoc as he gave Turmoil some of his energy.

“The punishment for that would have been castration back in my day. But you can’t be castrated so I guess you can make it as homo as you want and face God’s judgement if you still belong to his flock.”

“Wait, wait,” Havoc said, surprised. “You mean to tell me that the christian god is the real god?”

“I don’t know. I have had a thousand years to think about that, among many other things, and I haven’t reached a conclusion. To begin with, Earth does have gods. The Greek gods, the Egyptian gods, they are all real entities. I know this because some of them are participating in that game started by Discord, from which I have learned some information while you were unconscious. However, the ‘newer’ gods haven’t revealed their existence, if they exist at all. Proxy gods are common in many universes. Prayers and faith are a source of power in some universes, whereas the prays to a god which has revealed itself to someone will give said god nothing in return. Because of this, if the Aztec gods, for example, wanted to weaken the other gods, they could have created a fake god to make everyone forget their own gods. In the end, the only way to know if my God is real is to wait for him to show himself, because expecting all the gods in the multiverse to tell you, without lying, that they didn’t create that fake god is stupid. There’s also the possibility that a Supreme God exists, which rules over the multiverse. Because if your soul is in the afterlife created by the egyptian gods, and said gods die, where does your soul go? And where does the soul of a god goes when he dies?”

“So, the existence of gods doesn’t proof that other gods exist, and we return to where we started.”

“Exactly, and the system of belief and faith remains unchanged. Compared to the rest of humanity, we know that gods exist, and that supports the existence of God, but we can’t and probably will never have a proof,” said Turmoil, and then he unplugged Havoc’s USB from his belly. “That will be enough. Hm... I’m going to become a god-like being. If that makes God himself reveal his existence to me for some reason I’ll let you know, if I can do that without getting in serious trouble.”

“I just released a god and all I got was this lousy name,” Havoc said, and suddenly he was wearing a shirt with his name written on it.

“I can’t give you much more. The gods playing this game allow me to give you some boons as a reward for freeing me, but they will intervene if I overdo it and use my new powers to give you an army of draconequi minor living in a floating city powerful as the Death Star under your command... There’s something else I can give you, though. Take my axe, I won’t need it anymore.”

Turmoil pulled his humongous black axe from his back, and then he made it shrink so Havoc could wield it.

“This axe was forged by Dissonance in the Nexus, the homeland of the draconequi that connects all the universes. There, where the laws that rule logic and physics change at random, a draconequus can create artifacts with unmatchable properties. This axe is made with a metal that is impervious to all sorts of magic, save for chaos magic. Not only that, but its mere contact disrupts magic, as this weapon doesn’t follow this universe’s rules of magic. However, this weapon has its weaknesses. It’s as tough as steel, so using it against tougher materials will damage it. Even though breaking it or changing its size is easy by applying some chaos magic, repairing it requires large quantities of energy. Use it wisely.”

“Wow, now this is a great gift, thank you!” Havoc said, as he grabbed the axe with both hands. Only then did he realize that, unlike everything else in that universe, the axe didn’t have an outline. It wasn’t easy to notice due to it being already black, but on close inspection it was obvious that the axe didn’t ‘belong’ to this universe. It looked like it belonged to a videogame, not a cartoon. “Does it have a name?”

“No, what kind of sword swallowing, interior decorating, warm showers taking, good with colours, butt munching fagg-”

“Yeah, yeah, I have heard that already,” replied Havoc, fuming. Interior decorator? Well, I guess being from the Middle Age and spending a thousand years watching Earth from a small room makes you eccentric. I better shut up and don’t say anything about religions or homosexuality, angering a soon-to-be god is the last thing I need.

“Hey, what about me? I want a gift, too!” said Diane, oblivious to anything else.

“Oh, right. I almost forgot about you. Sorry, little pony, your friend is so stupid-”

“Hey!”

“-that he really needs all the help I can give him... Now, what can I give to you? Hm...”

Turmoil thought in silence for a whole minute before talking again. “I’m going to leave now, and ll give you my gift as soon as I can. You two better behave, I’ll be watching over you.”

With that said the draconequus popped out of existence, and the air made a loud noise when it filled the vacuum he left behind.

“I wonder if we are supposed to wait here until he comes back,” said Havoc.

“Uh oh,” Diane said, and she put herself under Havoc’s body. “My tail is twitching, I think that means something is going to fall soon!”

“That’s what it means if you have Pinkie Sense just like Pinkie Pie,” Havoc said as he covered his head with his left arm while standing on his three remaining extremities. “We better wait like this until something falls.”

A few seconds later, Diane’s ears perked up. “Can you hear that? It sounds weird.”

Havoc listened with attention and, after a few seconds, he heard a sound that foreshadowed something terrible. Then he felt a terrible pain coming from his tail, and a loud noise which accompanied it.

“AHHHHHHH!” Havoc shouted in pain, as he rose to two legs and turned back to see the remains of a destroyed piano crushing his tail. “What was that for?! Damn it hurts!”

In the blink of an eye, Havoc changed into frog and then changed back to draconequus, releasing his tail. The piano had crushed it, breaking bones and tearing muscles, so he snapped his fingers and it healed in seconds.

“Are you alright?” asked Diane.

“Yes, I’m fine. You should take a look around the piano’s remains. I think it’s meant to be Turmoil’s gift wrapping.”

Diane inhaled with excitement and jumped towards the piano while Havoc checked his tail, making sure that it was completely healed.

“Weeeee!” she exclaimed, as she pulled a box from the wreckage. When she opened it, she found a necklace and a letter. The necklace, Havoc noticed, was identical to the Element of Laughter, with the metal being silver instead of gold and the balloon-shaped gem being yellow instead of blue. “Wooooh, pretty,” she said, smiling, and then she took the letter.

“Dear Diane,” she read aloud. “This necklace is charmed. If you wear it, it’ll charge itself with your natural chaotic energy, and you will be able to use the stored energy later. IT IS NOT A TOY. Use it only if your life is in danger. It’s not as powerful as the Element of Laughter, but it can be used on its own and there are many things it can do to help you.
That’s the theory, anyways, it’s the first time I make something like this so let Havoc wear it first just in case it makes the wearer’s head explode.
Until we meet again,
Turmoil.”

“Good fillies always follow the safety instructions,” she said, as she gave the necklace to the draconequus minor.

Havoc grabbed it and put it on his own neck with a grimace. “It’s taking my energy from me. Let’s give it a few seconds and then I’ll try to use it... I have never used a magic artifact, I don’t know what to do.”

“That necklace makes you look funny,” Diane commented.

Havoc snapped his fingers and his colors changed to the same pink of Diane’s coat and his hair grew into a perfect copy of hers. “Oopsie! I think I did a little-wittle mistake!”

“Pink is not your color!” she managed to say between laughs and snorts. Damn, she’s heart-attack-inducingly adorable.

“Well, now it isn’t yours, either,” he said with her voice, as he snapped his fingers to change her colors to match his.

Diane looked at her own body, and laughed again when she noticed how each of her legs had a different color. “Do it again!”

They spent five minutes laughing and being silly as Havoc used his magic to change their appearance. He had Celestia’s coat and flowing magic hair and was lecturing her on how to use the Sun to cook eggs, while she had Twilight’s colors, when he turned them back to normal. “Alright, the necklace is sort of talking to me now. It’s hard to explain, but you will surely get it as soon as you use it. I’m going to do what it says.”

Havoc frowned and an orange and black sphere of energy surrounded him. He tried to break it from the inside by punching it, but the barrier was unaffected. Then he frowned again and the barrier disappeared. “Alright, nothing exploded, so I think it’s safe. Do you want to try it?”

Havoc tried to take the necklace out of his neck, but then he noticed that he was no longer wearing it. When he looked at Diane, it already was on her neck. “How did you...? Wow.”

“Hey, you are right, she’s talking to me!” She? “Ooooh, this is soooo coooool.”

The balloon-shaped gem shone with a powerful light just before shooting a beam of pink energy as big as Diane herself aiming at Havoc. The draconequus pulled the dragonbone hammer from his back just in time to use it to split the beam in two, which narrowly missed him.

“I’M SORRY! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!” Diane shouted, unable to see Havoc due to the cloud of dust that the beam had caused.

“I’m fine! I’m fine!” he shouted back. “Let’s get out of here, if anything dangerous lives nearby it must have seen that attack.”

Havoc walked out of the cloud and, after Diane climbed to his back, flew towards the sky. From the heights, they could see the extent of the destruction caused by Diane. Havoc had inadvertently protected the castle from the magic beam while protecting himself, and now it was in the middle of a V-shaped path of destruction.

“Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry!” Diane apologized. “I couldn’t resist pushing the red button, it was so big and shiny, but I never wanted to harm anypony. *Gasp* Do you think I harmed any cute little animal?!”

Havoc turned his head to face her, and found that she was on the verge of tears. “Don’t worry, it’s alright. The castle scares the animals away. This morning, when I went to find breakfast, I didn’t see anything alive.”

“Are you sure?” Diane asked, sniffing.

“I’m sure. This time we were lucky and no one was harmed, but you have to be careful with that thing. Understood?” Havoc said, trying to be strict but not harsh.

“Yes, I will be careful,” Diane said, sighing.

Havoc decided to fly West. He knew that flying North he would go back to Gem Fido, and the map he had seen in Fillydelphia showed that going South he would reach a vast jungle with only a few pony settlements. He decided that East was where Fillydelphia was, as well as Pinkie’s family, so going West was his best option.

“Diane, we are going West. Do you have memories of the cities we might find if we go in that direction?”

Havoc soon realized that he had made a big mistake, as Diane went on and on and on and on about all the cities he knew west of Ponyville. He changed into dragon a few minutes after they took off, which allowed him to fly without spending magic, unlike his draconequus form. This forced him to hold Diane with his arms, as his back was covered in spines.

A few hours later, when Diane’s endless stream of words had nothing to do with Havoc’s question, he decided to ask again. “So, which city would be the best? Dredgemane?”

“Dredgemane, are you crazy? We have to go to Trottingham!”

“Are you sure you want to go to Trottingham? We can also go from one city to the next as I said yesterday.”

“Trottingham Trottingham Trottingham Trottingham Trottingham Trottingham Trottingham Trottingham Trottingham Trottingham Trottingham Trottingham Trottingham Trottingham,” Diane said as fast as she could, which was very fast.

“Ok, so Trottingham it is.”

Author's Notes:

Wow, Turmoil really likes to talk and bring up theology for no reason. I guess it's understandable, I would also be socially starved after a thousand years being only able to watch other universes without interfering in any way.
>_>
<_<
At least he explained magic stuff that totally won't make Havoc grotesquely overpowered nor will be related to key plot elements.

Also, what do you guys think of Havoc's previous life as Martin Thompson, the possibly autistic accountant?