Chapter 5: PIRATES!

Captain Albatross was enjoying a rare moment of peace, as captain and as one of only two crewponies aboard the MacGuffin Albatross was accustomed to being overworked. Tonight’s dinner had been excellent with a combination of roast vegetables and vitamin rich fruits. Albatross had enjoyed every morsel of the meal and was following it with a pipe full of his finest Zebrican tobacco.

The Captain leaned back against a wooden bulkhead in the small dining room that joined the galley, where the lack of space was just another example of the difficulty of living in the cramped quarters of an airship. Albatross closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath through his pipe, savouring the high quality zebra grown tobacco, while considering the possibility of hiring extra crew members.

‘It would mean a load less work for me and more time fer Duckie ta cook dinner,’ he thought to himself before considering the additional costs of an extra crew member.

As the Captain began to draw in another puff of smoke from his pipe a wall of air and feathers flew into him, knocking the pipe out of his mouth.

‘What in the dark skies was tha for!’ the Captain yelled as he opened his eyes to find the pipe hating Daring Do hovering in front of him.

‘Well you just looked so peaceful there,’ Daring said.

‘I know yer probably annoyed about earlier lass, but that ain’t no reason to come between a stallion and his pipe.’

Daring groaned, ‘no time, we have to change course we’re running right toward a pirate ship.’

‘Run tha by me again lassie.’

‘I saw a pirate ship up ahead while I was getting your Celestia damned water and we’re flying right at it.’

‘Ballast barnacles!’ the captain cried as he threw himself back onto his hooves and galloped toward the exit, his horn lighting up with a grey mist as he seized his telescope. Daring followed the Captain still flying above the deck with her wings as she kept up with the cursing sea pony.

As soon as he reached his customary place behind the wheel Albatross brought his telescope to his eye and scanned the path ahead of the MacGuffin. Daring hovered above him to look as well, her search hampered by the sunset they were sailing towards. Eventually she thought she could see a black speck off in the distance just above Celestia’s sun as it set in the distance.

‘Gusty gales in a dark sky,’ the Captain cursed again, ‘I can see tha black bandit now. Cunning ta camp the trade winds and hide in tha sunset like tha.’ Albatross adjusted the focus on his telescope, ‘ach, he’s seen us and the bandit is coming for us now.’ The mist around the Captain’s horn deepened as he started to assert control over his ship, he seized a bell and started to sound an alarm that rang across the ship that was loud enough to wake the dead.

There was a clunk as Albatross removed the wheel lock from the rudder and he spun the wheel toward the left while simultaneously adjusting all the sails beneath the envelope. The ship groaned as it turned onto a new course, wood stressed and rope strained as the MacGuffin turned south throwing the hull out as it moved.

Ahead of the MacGuffin on its new course sat the dark storm that Albatross had been avoiding all day and now he was flying right toward it.

‘Daring I hope ye are good in a scrap, because ah think we’ll be in fer a fight before tha night is out.’

Down in the cargo hold the alarm brought an end to the not-romantic-enough dinner between Literal List and Duck Tape.

‘What’s that noise?’ List asked as the loud alarm bell fell to silence.

‘Trouble,’ Duckie answered with a note of panic in her voice, ‘come on, we’re needed on deck.’ The pair stood up as the MacGuffin swung into its tight turn. Duckie kept herself on her hooves as the ship swung using a combination of skilled sea legs and a balancing flap from her wings, List, who was still new to life on board ship, fell to the deck as the ship turned.

Duckie took to the air and flew over to help List, pulling her to her hooves.

‘You okay?’ Duckie asked.

‘I’m fine but—oh my notes!’ List looked around in dismay at the mess, her note books had been thrown around by the turn and the remains of their dinner had joined them on the floor.

‘Worry about it later, a turn like that means the Captain thinks we’re in real danger. Come on, I’ll help you keep your balance.’ Duckie swung around behind List holding onto her body and using her wings to keep the unicorn balanced. Secretly Duckie was enjoying this more than she should.

‘Alright I’ll clean this up later.’ List agreed before adding mournfully, ‘I hope the mummy doesn’t roll out of his sarcophagus as well.’

‘It will be fine, let’s go.’

The pair left the cargo hold, the mess and the precious archaeological find behind as they went upstairs to find out what was going on.

‘You’re flying into the storm?’

‘Yes lassie, I would ah thought it be obvious, what with the dark clouds, high winds and a good chance of goin down wit me ship.’ Albatross was sailing like a pony possessed using his horn to make simultaneous adjustments to everything on the ship to get more speed.

‘Can’t you just outrun them or something?’

The Captain sighed, ‘Daring, if they were behind us or the wind were in our favour I’d merrily run ma sails till they tore. But them clever barnacles in tha bandit were waiting for a ship just like us ta pass so they could leap on us like a spider onto a fly. We’re lucky enough as is tha you saw them first and tha best ah can do is run us into yonder storm to catch ah better wind.’

‘I thought I was supposed to be the crazy thrill seeker on this ship,’ Daring grumbled as she stood behind the Captain.

‘Ye still are lass. I just prefer to take the storm over those bandits.’ The Captain looked over his shoulder and brought up his telescope to check on their pursuers. ‘Gusty gales, tha bandit’s making a good turn of speed, once we get ta the outer fringes of the storm I can outrun him but It’s gonna be close and I nary want be be in range of that ships’ weapons.’ He paused to bring the scuttlebutt to his mouth drinking several mouthfuls of water and sighing contently before continuing darkly, ‘but what we have tae really worry about is borders.’

‘You think they’ll try to board us Captain?’

‘Most certainly, we’re too close ta getting away so they’ll send out some gale lovin’ pegasi barnacles ta try to bring our sails down.’ He adjusted one of the sails with a motion that Daring could have sworn was almost a gentle telekinetic caress. ‘Without our sails the bandit ship can raid us at her pleasure, so we need tae keep em safe.’

The sound of rapid hoof falls from the lower deck signalled the arrival of Literal List and Duckie.

‘Captain, what’s going on?’ Duckie called out.

‘There are pirates in pursuit astern of us.’ The Captain announced and Duckie looked out behind the MacGuffin, raising a hoof to shield her eyes from the sun glare.

‘Oh buck.’

‘What do we do?’ echoed List.

‘Daring,’ the Captain began, ‘Ah assume tha you have some training in pegasi fencing?’ the Captain asked as he adjusted another sail.

Daring do briefly considered the number of times she’d been forced to fight throughout her expeditions and decided to summarize it all with a simple nod.

‘Good,’ Albatross said before turning his attention to the other pair, ‘List, ye can join me up here. Duckie, head downstairs with Daring and get yer sabre out. Once ye ave yer sabres open up the lowest hatches on the ballast tanks, we need to shed some weight.’

The pair of pegasi left to find their weapons leaving Albatross and List on the deck.

‘Uh, Captain Albatross, what did you want me up here for?’

The Captain took his attention away from his ship briefly and considered the young unicorn.

‘I take it ye never used tha horn O yours for anything other than moving things around?’

‘I… uh… well…’

‘It’s fine lass, a bonnie life tae any unicorn who never has to resort tae fighting with magic.’ Albatross gave List a weak smile, ‘Cannay say ye have tha luxury now.’

‘I don’t know anything beyond a few basic spells.’

Albatross glanced around, checking his ship before releasing it from his horn’s grip and held onto the rudder wheel with a hoof.

‘I’ll show ye quickly, you’re the studious type so ye shouldn’t ave trouble learnin’ it.’ Albatross pointed his horn away from his ship and fired a blast of misty grey magic out over the ocean. ‘It’s simpler than it looks lassie, just point yer horn at anything displeasing ye and draw on ye magic, once ye have a charge just let it loose. Most magic’s all aboot control but this innae like tha as its tha raw magic ye be throwin, so ye just point and release.’ Albatross repeated his demonstration charging up his horn and simply letting it loose.

‘So, charge and release,’ List asked.

‘Give it ah shot lassie.’

List pointed her horn away from the ship and summoned up her magic while Albatross watched. List’s horn began to glow red as it matched the colour of her mane, the intensifying glow started to throw sparks off as she finally released it. A wave of red magic shot away from the ship, the recoil from the large blast pushed List onto her plot eliciting a welp from the young unicorn when she landed uncomfortably on her tail.

Albatross barked out a harsh laugh, ‘Ye got plenty of oomph lassie, but ye nary ever need a blast tha size. Best tae fire smaller shots instead, unless ye decide tae take out an airship or summat like tha.’

‘Thanks… I guess.’

‘Nay trouble at all lassie,’ the Captain reassured as he took a hold of the various parts of the ship again with his horn. ‘Try to practice a bit, ye’ll be needing tae shoot down pegasi bandits before long.’

Daring Do galloped down to the cargo hold in search of her trunk while Duckie had headed off to find her fencing sabre and empty the ballast tanks.

Once she was in the hold Daring searched the room to find out where her equipment was stored. Walking past the neat piles of List’s notes Daring eventually found her trunk on the other side of Imzohtep’s sarcophagus. Opening her trunk she rummaged through it, past all her camping gear to find one of her most important tools: her kukri.

It was a large single edged blade as long as her leg that was bent inwards along the cutting edge with a firm weight behind it. Daring used it primarily as a tool for cutting through jungle canopies whenever she needed to fly or escape from a hot jungle. It was also excellent for cutting firewood, fruit and large vegetables. She’d brought it from a market in Griffonia from a griffin that had been well renowned for his metal smithing and he had given her a discount because he believed that such a tool would find more use with Daring Do than with somepony who only wanted an ornament for their mantelpiece.

Times like these reminded her that, even though it was only a tool to her, in the claws of a skilled griffon or strapped to the foreleg of a Pegasus these blades could be very dangerous. Daring took a moment to thank Celestia that the dangerous use of blades and sabres was only found outside Equestria’s borders, such was the dangers inherent in being an explorer.

Daring slung the blade onto her back and paused to look into the sarcophagus where Imzohtep lay, oblivious to the danger approaching.

‘Don’t go walking around. I’d hate to lose you after all the trouble I’ve had to go through to keep you out of Ahuizotl’s greedy hands.’ Daring smiled to herself, ‘stay safe mummy boy.’ She chuckled as she left the cargo hold to its royal occupant.

Daring returned to the deck to find the Captain gazing through his telescope at the approaching pirate ship, ahead of the ship the storm waited as the sky darkened with the setting sun.

‘Well, tha’s new,’ the Captain said to himself with the side effect of everypony around him hearing it.

‘Is something happening Captain?’ List asked.

‘Tha bandit has run up a flag o parlay.’

‘Perlay?’ Daring asked the Captain.

‘Parlay, It’s ah request ta talk with guarantee tha neither side will be harmed while anypony is away from their ship.’ The Captain lowered his telescope and brought a white flag out of a box of similar signals kept at the base of the wheel. ‘May as well, gives us more time ta get to yonder storm. They’ll just be wanting ta demand surrender or a ransom.’

As the Captain flew the white flag above him, suspended in his misty magic, he brought the telescope to his eyes again.

‘Here they come, four ballast barnacle lovin’ pegasi.’ He adjusted his telescope and muttered, ‘they also look incredibly flamboyant…’

In the distance the four specks eventually grew as they came closer to the MacGuffin. Daring was able to make them out at a distance, each was dressed in extravagant clothing that flowed in the air around them. As they neared Daring Do noticed the flock was made up of three mares led by a Stallion with a light coat, a long black mane and wore an enormous black hat with a red Pegasus pinion feather pinned to the side.

The three mares took position in the air near the ship as the stallion landed on the deck.

‘Shiver ye timbers land lovahrrs,’ the pirate growled, ‘surendarrgh ye ship to me or I be sending ye on a skydive ta Derpy’s lockaarr.’

A bright red parrot landed on the pirate’s back and echoed his sentiment, ‘rwark, shiver ye timers, shiver ye timbers.’

The reaction from the crew of the MacGuffin was silence until Daring Do eventually broke the mutual mute.

‘Hey Alby, this guy’s got an accent that’s worse than yours.’

‘Not tha time lass,’ Albatross replied.

‘Nice parrot though,’ Duckie added.

The pirate stalked forward towards Daring, ‘Do you not fearrr me? I be the most nafarrious pirate in tha sky, my name be whispered in terror lest I be bidden by the mere sound of it being spoken.’

‘Never heard of you,’ Daring stated.

‘What about you “Alby”,’ the pirate teased, ‘do you undarrstand who ye be facing?’

The Captain shrugged, ‘Well clearly ah’m more famous than ye laddie, because I dennay know yer name.’ Albatross ignored the look of rage the pirate gave him and returned to steering his ship.

‘I be Blackmane the Fearred, mastarr of the Canterbean and the most litarral pirate in the sky.’

This statement set Literal List pondering his meaning, literal meanings were her speciality after all, ‘So… you are literally a pirate or do you just read a lot of books?’

‘Ah think he means both lassie,’ the Captain added.

Daring chuckled before joking, ‘a well-read pirate? Do you recite famous plays while plundering ships?’

‘Not with that accent,’ Duckie added, ‘not properly at least.’

Blackmane’s eyes narrowed, ‘I’ll be taking that as a challenge.’ Without further prompting the pirate burst into a tune from The Pirates of Pegasopolis.

♫♫♫

‘I be the very model of a literal pega-pirate,

it be the best lifestyle if only ye would try it,

we only be wanting the shine of golden bits,

so from Manehatten to Timbucktoo we sail forth ta plunder ships;

♫♫♫

‘Me crew be acquiescing to me in matters aeronautical,

to be disinclined is dangerous, in both physical and psychological,

Ye only have once chance, to make the one choice practical,

And that be to surrender yer ship to the master of all things piratical.’

♫♫♫

Then the other pirates chimed in singing,

♫ ‘Ye should Surrender yer ship to the master of all things piratical.’ ♫

‘Twilight, did you really have to sing that?’

Twilight giggled, ‘it’s fun Rainbow.’

‘Stop,’ Daring Do cried before the pirate could break into another verse, ‘stop, for the love of Celestia just stop.’

‘Ah agree with the lass Blackmane,’ Albatross cut in, ‘tha’s almost torture and against the rules of parlay.’

Denied even the pleasure of singing Blackmane’s mood turned foul, his stance tightened and he gave a furious look at both Daring and Albatross.

‘So I be arrsured that ye won’t be strikin ye colours to surrender.’

‘That’s right,’ Daring looked the pirate straight into the eye, returning his furious look with one of determination. ‘We can take anything you throw at us.’

Blackmane growled, snapped his wings open and took off into the air to join his escort, turning around to make one last announcement.

‘For ye insults I be givin’ no quatarr, prepare yourselves for doom in Derpy’s lockarr for this be a fight to the death.’ The pirates flew off with the parrot following at a distance as they returned to their ship.

Albatross sighed, and started to make more rapid adjustments to his sails. Nopony spoke as they contemplated what Blackmane had said, each realizing that the pirate’s threat was very real and were already looking at each other as they started to feel the onset of fear. Duckie remained stoic, taking some inspiration from the captain she’d worked with for so long. Daring was reminded of her own history, and the friends she’d seen wounded or lost on her adventures. Literal List lost herself in obsessively thinking about the combat spell the Captain had just taught her, charging her horn and trying not to think of anything else.

‘Perhaps insulting him wasn’t such a good idea,’ Duckie pointed out, ‘the song wasn’t that bad.’

Daring gave the bright yellow pegasus a glare, ‘you’re probably just as bad at singing as him.’

‘I’m still better than you miss scratchy voice.’

‘Oh yeah?’ Daring gave Duckie a smile and opened her wings, ‘After this is over I’m going to sing your wings off.’

‘You’re on.’

The Captain chortled, ‘let me ken before ye start waisting ye breath on tha, I’ll ave ta get some earplugs ready.’ He received a glare from both pegasi.

‘So how are you getting us out of this one Captain?’ Duckie asked.

‘I’ll try ta make this easy ta understand,’ he gave a short cough, ‘Right, we need to lose them fast and this yonder typhoon that we’re flying into is the best way. If they get their ship too close they’ll launch grapple bolts from a ballista, or something similar. If they grab us like tha we’ll be tied down and boarded by everypony they have, if we can keep our distance the only thing they can send at us are the four pegasi they had over here before, including Blackmane. They’ll go right for our sails to slow us down so their barnacle infested ship can catch us.

‘So how do we deal with them?’

‘Make them come tae us, you two feather brains will have to stop them getting past ye. I and the young lass over there will try to keep them off you with some magic, stay close to the ship so we can cover you.

‘Then what?’ Daring asked.

‘I’ll fly right into the storm clouds over yonder. It’ll be rougher than any gale I’ve ever flown but those wild storm clouds will be like a brick wall to a pegasus, you’ll have to get inside the ship before we hit it otherwise you’ll be stuck. Once we’re in I’ll lose the bandits in the gloom and we’ll be scolt free.

‘One more question,’ Daring added, ‘why can’t you speak this clearly all the time?’

‘Because I dennay want tay ya breeze brain,’ the Captain replied with his accent back in full force. ‘Now git yerselves in position because them ballast barnacle lovers will be back soon.’

‘Oh yes, here comes the good part.’

‘Rainbow, you might want to stop for a bit.’

‘Why stop Twilight? Daring’s about to kick some pirate flank.’

‘Because I think Tank wants your attention.’

‘Huh?’ Rainbow Dash looked up from the book at the Tortoise hovering in front of her. Rainbow’s pet was hanging from his little propeller with his goggles up and giving his owner a slow moving blink.’

‘How long have we been reading?’ Rainbow asked as she looked out the window to see the town clock, ‘yep it’s lunch time.’ She opened her wings and took off lightly, ‘come on Tank, I’ll get your lunch.’ She flew sedately—for rainbow—toward the kitchen with the tortoise following behind her. As Rainbow was leaving the room she turned back to Twilight, ‘did you want anything while I’m up?’

‘No, I had Spike pack enough for both of us.’ Twilight brought a box of sandwiches out of her bag and placed them on the cloud table.

‘Huh, okay, I’ll be right back.’ Rainbow flew out of the room while wondering how Twilight Sparkle had managed to predict she’d be spending so much the day with Rainbow that she would have to pack lunch.