Chapter 4: The MacGuffin

Life aboard the MacGuffin was a mixture of boredom, excitement, curiosity and occasionally confusion. The morning after departure found Daring doing something she rarely allowed herself to do and relax. Free of any distractions Daring found a patch of sunlight on the deck to lay herself down on with a towel, spreading out her legs and wings to catch as much sunlight as possible.

The last few weeks had been spent tirelessly guarding the sarcophagus day and night. Being able to finally forget about it for a little while and relax under Celestia’s sun was a real treat for her. She lost track of time as she relaxed, occasionally making minor adjustments to her posture to catch more sunlight. Slipping into the limbo that lay between sleeping and being awake she dreamed of faraway places she had been. The first location that came to mind was the singing glaciers of the Crystal Mountains their song ever changing in the wild uncontrolled winds from the frozen north.

The pure tones had sung to her soul when she listened to them. Years ago Daring Do had spent an entire week there recording and mapping the glaciers on behalf of the office of the Grand Veneur in Canterlot. An uneventful expedition, but Daring had enjoyed it as a vacation from the usual excitement that her other expeditions had taken her on. She’d been sure to record some of the music to a vinyl record as well which was waiting for her on her turntable in Canterlot.

She listened to a song from memory, humming along to it before being interrupted by a deluge of water. Daring Do shrieked in shock, wings snapping in under the cold torrent of water, dignity effectively removed as Daring threw herself to her feet looking for the culprit. Captain Albatross was laughing uproariously from the other side of the deck with a bucket held in his telekinetic grip.

‘What was that for?’ Daring demanded of him.

‘Well ye just looked so peaceful there, can’t have that now can we?’ Albatross broke into laughter again as Daring stalked forward, once she was in range she flicked her wings forward spraying water over the old sea dog who ignored it entirely. ‘Can’t have ye relaxing on this ship miss, there are better things ye could be doing.’

‘Here I thought you were being paid to take us to Canterlot,’ Daring grumbled

‘Neigh, I’m being paid tae take ye cargo to Canterlot. Ye are traveling on a “temp’ry crew” basis, Royal Society’s cheap like that, so ye have to do some work while ye are aboard ta be paying for ye passage.’ Albatross finished with a grin as Daring’s face fell to a blank look, the same look ponies wear whenever life gives them lemons. She finished her lemon moment with a sigh, turning to retrieve her jacket and helmet where she left them on the deck to quickly dress before she returned to Albatross.

‘What first?’ she asked

‘I can-nay hear ye,’ the Captain responded, making a minor adjustment to a sail with his horn while ignoring the return of Daring’s lemon face.

‘What first, Captain?’

‘Good ta hear, let’s start ye with something simple. Go find Duckie for me, I think she’s probably spying on that wee lass that came aboard with ye, get that rubbernecker back up here.’

Daring nodded and left the Captain to himself while she went down below deck to the cargo hold where the sarcophagus of Imzohtep was stored. Hopefully Daring would find out where Duckie was ducking out of work. Daring laughed at her own pun, wishing she could tell somepony while being simultaneously oblivious to the fact nopony would have found it funny.

Duckie had been down in the cargo hold all morning with Literal List, not that the unicorn had paid any attention to her. List had spent the entire morning analysing every inch of Imzohtep’s casket and the scrolls he had been entombed with. Duckie was left watching the archaeologist during her study as she pretended to be cleaning the deck or shifting cargo around the hold while attempting to steal a look at Literal List whenever possible.

Duckie admitted the casket was an interesting find, having taken a moment to peek into the sarcophagus herself. The mummified king was wrapped entirely with black and white bandages with the long grey hair of its mane lying around its head. It was interesting, in a gruesome sort of way, Duckie thought it looked fairly healthy for a corpse with several centuries of history behind it.

Literal List continued to read the alchemical recipes and reference material the zebra had taken with him into death, translating it aloud as she read it. None of it made much sense to Duckie, hay, she wasn’t even sure why she was down here Literal List was just a mare she had literally bumped into two days ago. Yet there had to be something, she had caught the unicorn staring at her flank and she’d been so embarrassed when Duckie caught her looking. Or perhaps she was just nervous and had no interest in her at all, Duckie had no idea anymore.

However Ducky could watch List’s flank all day.

Daring Do soon found the pair, walking in on the awkward situation: List attempting to ignore Duckie with the latter attempting not to let the former know she was watching. Daring Do on the other hoof found the situation to be rather cute.

‘You two need to get a room to yourselves,’ Daring interrupted. The pair jumped at the intrusion launching into a chorus of refusals, denials, ums and ah’s. Much to Daring’s amusement.

‘Duckie, the Captain wants you on deck,’ Daring ordered, the yellow Pegasus saluted and left the room suddenly glad for an excuse to leave.

With the pegasus crew-pony out of the room Daring turned her interest towards Literal List’s work. The unicorn had been diligent in recording every detail she had found, translating the markings and scrolls as she progressed.

‘You look like a filly in a candy store,’ Daring observed.

‘Oh it’s just I’ve never had something this interesting to work on,’ List admitted as she started writing in another notebook. ‘I’m the first pony in hundreds of years to read these scrolls properly. There’s just so much we thought we would never know about zebra alchemy, this is such an extraordinary breakthrough!’

‘Calm down List, you’ve got plenty of time to work on this.’

‘No I don’t, as soon as we arrive in Canterlot this could get hauled off to Blueblood’s private collection or locked in a museum somewhere. This might be my only chance to study it myself, I can’t pass this up. Can you just let me do this for now at least?’

‘Alright, alright you made your point, you can keep going.’

‘Oh yes, yes, yes, thank you, yay!’ Literal List threw herself back into her work.

Daring turned her attention to the occupant of the Sarcophagus, the mummy hadn’t changed since she first saw it in the tomb.

‘List, what can you tell me about this guy… Imzohtep you said?’

‘That’s his name,’ List replied still focused on her work.

‘He’s remarkably well preserved he looks like just died yesterday.’

‘He might of, magically speaking that is,’ Literal List explained. ‘The ancient Zebra used something to preserve his body, probably the same substance they used to preserve these scrolls. I don’t think he has decomposed at all since he was preserved, literally as fresh as the day he died.’

‘Interesting,’ Daring murmured.

‘I wish I could have met him, these notes are brilliant, the preservation formulae itself will mean so much to libraries and museums. Just think we’d never have to worry about a scroll crumbling from age ever again!’

‘I’ll leave you to your research. I’m probably needed on deck for something. Have fun doing stuff,’ Daring encouraged as she left. Tombs were Daring’s speciality, not the analysis part of archaeology and she was happy to leave it to ponies like Literal List. Daring was in it for the adventure after all.

‘Finally back are ye? Not too busy spendin your time wit tha studious unicorn O yours I hope.’ Albatross didn’t look at Duckie as she arrived on the deck mostly because he was too focused on guiding the ship to pay much attention to anything else.

Duckie gave a salute to the Captain’s back, ‘I apologise sir, I have been lax in my duty toward you and your ship, sir,’ Duckie recited with a salute, as a living example of pegasi military tradition.

Albatross sighed, ‘gusty gales, lass,’ he cursed. ‘Duckie girl, we’ve known each other for years and I can tell when ye have summat on ye mind. Ye also ken I hate that military nonsense so stop acting like that.’ Duckie relaxed out of the alert posture she’d taken as Albatross finally turned to look at her.

‘Lassie we’ve been across this pond more times than ah care ta count, but ah’ve never seen ye like this. You’re getting lonely aren’t ye?’

‘Well… I ah…’

‘Tha right word is “yes” Duckie, I ken how ye feel. We’ve been traveling so often, nary staying in a port for more than a pair a days at a time. You’re a young mare in your prime wasting yer life wit an old sea griffin like me.’ The Captain sat down in front of Duckie, a crackle of cartilage from one of his legs caused her to wince. ‘Ballast Barnacles lass, it’s nothing. Sit your young plot down, now here comes tha wisdom of the ancient.’ Duckie sat down adjusting her ears adjusting to hear the captain’s advice.

‘Go to it’

‘Captain?’

‘Love ya wee gale. Go to it and good luck to ye.’

‘You’re saying I shou—‘

‘Aye’

‘But, I’m not even sure if she’s interested and I’ve got work to do, checking the envelope for gas leaks and seeing to the ballast levels as well.’

‘Lass, ye’ll never know if anypony is interested in ye till ye ask. As for tha’ gas bag I’ll have Daring Do check it, she’s under the impression that she’s workin’ for her passage.’

‘Captain!’ Duckie reprimanded.

Albatross laughed, ‘ye’d never get ah chance otherwise, take some time.’ The old sea unicorn returned to his feet, ‘one more suggestion Duckie, head down to tha Galley and make a nice dinner for everypony. Make a good impression on the wee lass.’

Duckie gave her wings a flap, lifting her off the deck before landing on her hooves

‘Thanks Captain.’ She gave the old unicorn a hug

‘Get going lassie, ah’m starting ta feel hungry’

She took off like a bolt, not even touching the deck as she flew below deck toward the kitchen that served as the ship’s galley.  

The first of Daring Do’s “duties” as a crewmember was on top of the helium balloon—or “envelope”—that held the ship aloft in the air. Daring scanned the skin of the envelope searching for any leaks while listening for the sound of escaping helium and occasionally talking to herself so she could hear her voice go squeaky if she breathed any of the helium in.

To hear the Captain talk about it he had made it out to be one of the most essential chores to be done on an airship. Helium was expensive and couldn’t be replaced out in the middle of the ocean, any leaks needed to be caught quickly.

But by sweet Celestia’s Day Glow Mane this was boring, it was undeniably, uninspiringly, unexciting. There was more excitement to be found looking up boring in a thesaurus; lacklustre was a good word, humdrum at least had a good sound to it in Daring’s opinion at least.

Daring had been doing this repetitive job for hours mostly because it was a job only a Pegasus could do and Duckie was busy doing something in the galley. She sighed, resigning herself to more mind-numbing work. Tonight’s dinner had better be good.

‘Twilight, how many words for boring did Daring Do just use?’ Rainbow Dash asked.

‘Seven Rainbow, out of the thirteen in my Thesaurus,’ Twilight answered.

‘Wow that must be really dull.’

The approaching evening didn’t distract Literal List from her work after all when else was she going to get the opportunity to study the royal body of a zebra again?

List had taken a break from studying Imzohtep’s work and was now studying the royal It. Levitating the body above her desk, List slowly rotated it, speaking aloud while recording the details on a notepad.

‘Subject’s bandages suggest significance beyond simple preservation; the bandages are interwoven white and black strips of linen cloth in a pattern consistent with the subject’s own natural stripes.

‘In addition the levels of preservation over such a time period are remarkable, beyond anything previously deemed possible in either unicorn magic or in my limited knowledge of modern zebra alchemy.’ List paused, ‘If my translation of his notes is correct then this is all a result of the subject’s own work, I wish I could of met him myself,’ she admitted.

‘I hope I’m not interrupting anything?’ asked a voice from the door.

Literal List almost dropped the body in surprise, just barely catching it again in her magical grip, her pencil and note pad fell to the floor forgotten.

‘Sorry List, didn’t mean to surprise you,’ admitted Duckie as she entered the cargo hold. Duckie’s wings were spread out to support a large dish and a set of plates, ‘Dinner’s ready and I’d thought I’d bring it down to you.’

‘Thank you Duckie, that’s very kind of you, just let me clear a space.’ List returned the zebra king to his resting place and cleared off the table with her magic. Duckie walked forward and slid the large dish off her back with her wings and onto the table, followed by a pair of plates for the two of them to use.

‘You wouldn’t mind if I joined you for dinner List?’

‘Now Daring, before ye can demolish your dinner ah ‘ave one more task for ye,’ Albatross said before Daring could land.

‘What is it Captain?’ Daring groaned, dreading the answer.

‘Not fond o’ tha tone there Daring,’ the Captain reprimanded, ‘ah went to ave a drink from the scuttlebutt but I found it was empty.’ He lifted the empty water bucket, tipping it over to demonstrate the lack of water within.

‘That’s because you emptied it over my head,’ Daring objected.

‘Well that’s all in the past now lassie, I assume you’ll want a drink with your dinner too, so take the scuttlebutt over to one of those bonnie clouds floating ahead and fill ‘er up.’ Albatross floated the bucket over to Daring, where she snatched it out of the air.

‘Alright, I’ll get your water. But my dinner better be ready when I get back,’ Daring grouched.

‘Remember, one of those bonnie clouds up ahead. Not one of them storm clouds over yonder,’ the Captain gestured a hoof at a storm to the south. Daring took note of how dark the clouds were but with what she learned about weather patterns in Flight Camp she knew the storm was not going to come much closer to the ship.

‘I ken that ye pegasi like storm water, but tha over there is a wild typhoon. Leave tha one be, it’s much worse than those weak rainstorms Cloudsdale brews up.’

Daring gave Albatross a blank stare, ‘look old timer, I might be the adventurous type but I’m not stupid. I’ll be back with your “bonnie cloud water” in a jiffy.’

‘Well I’ll be waiting for ye,’ the Captain replied cheerfully.

Without a further word Daring Do spread her wings and took off away from the deck, flying forward along the path of the MacGuffin into the sunset in the west.

Albatross chuckled to himself, ‘well I best go and make sure her dinner stays warm then, poor lassie will need it.’ The Captain locked the rudder in position and checked that the ship could fly on its own for a few minutes while he went to get his dinner.

Down in the cargo hold dinner for another pair was about to begin.

‘So what is it?’ Literal List asked.

‘Roast pumpkin, cooked in a charcoal oven with carrots and some hay on the side,’ Duckie replied as she uncovered the meal, giving Literal List the knife to carve the pumpkin with. List sliced the pumpkin in half and then into more manageable sizes, before moving the neatly sliced portions to the pair of plates.

‘It’s nice and soft, I didn’t think you’d be so good a cook.’

Duckie chuckled, ‘Well having spent the last few years living with the Captain I’ve learned to cook so I can survive these trips.’ Duckie grimaced, ‘you don’t want to taste the Captain’s cooking. Everything is deep fried.’ List chuckled in response.

The pair began to eat, List using her telekinesis to bring sections of food to her mouth while Duckie simply ate straight from her plate.

‘Duckie, I think I’ve forgotten to thank you properly.’

‘Hmm?’

‘For helping me back in Timbucktoo, I was really starting to panic back there.’ List finished with a niveous chuckle.

‘Oh, it was no problem. I wasn’t doing anything then really, the Captain gave me the evening off and told me to, “go get ye’self sloshed or find some company”,’ she recited in a reasonable impression of the Captain.

‘Well you certainly managed to do that, the bar fight was rather… exciting.’

‘I don’t actually remember much of that actually. Anyway it was the company I was interested in,’ Duckie insinuated.

List nodded, ‘It was great that we were all able to have dinner together, I think you and Daring got along so well.’

Duckie groaned inwardly, Swing and a miss.

The MacGuffin sank into the distance behind Daring Do as she flew toward the “bonnie” clouds up ahead. It was several minutes of flying while carrying the bulky bucket hanging from a strap around her waist.

Eventually she reached one of the clouds and hung the bucket beneath it while she slowly massaged some rain from the cloud. After exhausting the cloud she moved onto the next one, slowly filling the bucket with each could she visited.

Once the scuttlebutt was full again Daring Do began to scan the sky for the MacGuffin. Looking toward the sunset she spotted an airship, but not the one she was looking for.

Both its sails and gasbag were coloured black as it sat in the distance, a large equine skull with a pair of bones crossed beneath it were emblazoned on the side.

Daring’s heart started to beat rapidly. It was a pirate ship and it was sitting right on the MacGuffin’s flight path!

‘Pirates!’ Rainbow Dash cried, ‘and the ship is headed right toward them!’

‘It’s just a Pirate ship Rainbow,’ Twilight said, ‘you don’t need to get too excited.’

‘It’s Pirates Twilight, Pirates.’

‘And?’

‘Pirates are just so cool, gimme the next chapter. I need to see what happens next.’

Next Chapter: Chapter 5: PIRATES Estimated time remaining: 15 Minutes