---

What WAS I thinking?

Why must I meddle in other people’s business.

I could feel a sigh of regret pour from my open, panting mouth.

If there was something about me that you should know it’s that I’m probably going to die. Well. I suppose there might be more you should know.. nonetheless I’m knocking on death’s door.

Though, not willingly.

These moral-lacking assholes who have me in chains are helping me with that quite nicely; the barrel to my head and all.

Bastards.

They’re all hot headed and upset just because I tried to take a little bit of money. It’s not like it was even a lot; just a couple million bits

That’s nothing.

The stallion in front of me, attempting to show his masculinity by shoving the grime covered cannon into my mouth. All I can think about is why it taste’s so god-awful and how he was definitely getting off shoving the thing down my throat.

What a pig. Why was thi-

Before I could finish my thought, I was rudely interrupted by his hoarse, ear shattering voice.

“Dun worry!” He said in such a loving tone “Boss’ll be right in!”

This stallion had such a way with words; really knows how to make a mare feel at home.

Bastard.

Suddenly the boss burst through the door. A rust colored earth pony, cowboy hate, spurs, and lit cigarette hanging in his enormous grin ridden mouth. He was just as dirty as the others, but pulled it off much better. Slowly striding his way over to me; a small cyan blue pegasus pony, tied down and a grimy gun in my mouth. That crooked smile of his seemed to stretch from ear to ear. With a deep breath he blew a large puff of cancerous smoke in my face.

“Well there, Miss Dash. Pleasure to finally meet yah. The infamous bounty hunter Rainbow Dash.” His voice was as smooth as sandpaper. Deep, rough, and aged to perfection. Yet somehow topped with a hint of asshole, sarcasm, and devious intent.

“Yah’ve been hired to..” He began to trot around me. “Take me out, eh?”

A burly laugh echoed in the poorly decorated room. By decorated I mean kegs of sarsparilla and dirt. Lots of dirt.

“Ahm afraid I cannot let yah do that” I felt his hoof wrap around my waist “Miss Rainbow Dash.”

In that instant, I wanted to spin around and drop the perv right there. Though, these chains were making that a bit difficult at the moment.

“mmmmimmfmmammkmmi.” I stated furiously, though my words didn’t seem to get the full effect with a mouth full of steel.

“Bahahaha!” The bastard was cackling like a witch as he slid his hooves up my body toward my chest. I jerked about in the chain harness; to no avail. “Yah really are a feisty one aren’t yah?”

“Kill her.” His voice now cold and stern.

Rewind
relax.

---

Desert.

That's all this Celestia-forsaken planet was. Just. Desert.

The desert sun was scorching as usual, but felt kind of nice compared to our last endeavor.

"Derpy! Are you almost done fixing this thing yet?" I called out to my faithful companion who I hadn't seen in some time. A barrage of clanking and banging erupted from the hull below me followed by a few muffle curses. Finally a head popped out of the circle shaped doorway. A grey mare with a beautiful blond mane and offset derpy eyes, popped out with a smile on her grease covered face.

"Hey Dash! I'm almost done!"

I wish I could be so damn carefree as that bubbly mare.

"Good job Derp!" I showered her with my usual appreciation as I smiled. "I'm ready to get the money and get off of this fiery hell hole." Derpy smiled and fell back into the space cruiser style ship.

I quickly stretched out my wings and stood up against the blazing sun. I sighed and turned toward the hatch of the ship and proceeded to jump down after my comrade. The walls were covered with thousands upon thousands knobs, switches, levers, gauges, and lights. The long narrow walkway that leaded to the medical room, cargo area, and beds was lined with wires, tubes, and a metal grate on the floor. The cockpit was on the other side, and by far the nicest part of our ship. It may not have looked the nicest on the inside, but no ship in the galaxy could outrun this baby.

No ponies could operate like us either.

Derpy had herself wedged behind some piping, soldering some lose wires together. I smiled and made my way toward the cockpit and sat down in my chair.

"We almost ready to head to the nearest town? Celestia knows I'm starving my ass off here." Derpy quickly jumped up toward the cockpit with and plopped in her seat.

"We're all good Captain Dashie!" She said with her usual ecstatic behavior. Her enormous smile was enough to melt anyponies heart. It was also insanely contagious. I couldn't help but smile.

"Let's get goin' eh?" I reached over and grabbed my black sunglasses and slid them on.

If I'm gonna fly, I'm gonna fly in style.

---

Author’s Notes: Hey everypony! This is a random burst of inspiration I’ve had! I know I was taking a break until after the holidays but I can’t stop! :p

Anyway, this is like My Little Pony in an alternate universe. A very Trigun/Cowboy Bebop/Outlaw Star sort of universe. Rainbow Dash is known around the galaxy as an infamous bounty hunter along with her sidekick Derpy Hooves! Derpy is of course her usual derpy-self but extremely talented when it comes to repairing and keeping their ship in tip-top shape! Their ship is a custom one, lacking charm to add power making it one of the fastest ships in the galaxy. It’s name is the Apus; the constellation for the bird of paradise.

I’m also trying a different style of writing this. While it may not always be grammatically correct or be the right formatting but it must be understood that text placement, size, etc. is a main force of this story. Stylistic things such as that are super important here. So don’t judge it harshly on silly things like that, I assure you it’s all for the effect. :3

This is just going to be a fun side story since my main concern right now is Bioshock: Equestria :D.

Next Chapter: Chapter One: Captain Dash Estimated time remaining: 8 Minutes