Ch.19 I catch a dog and Dash gets some advice

" I don't think this is a good idea guys." Applebloom told the other two girls. All three of the cuitemark crusaders were trying to get the stash of itholth that he hid on the top shelf. " Just calm down Applebloom I just want to know what it taste like." Scoots told her. All 3 girls were standing on top of each other with Scoots trying to grab it. " Almost got it. There oooo!" As soon as she had the grabbed the jug she lost her balance and all three girls tumbled down on each other with a ooof. " The jugs okay!" Scootaloo raised the jug and both of the girls cheered...

An hour later......

Scootaloo I don't feel so good." Sweete Belle slured. the 3 fillies had finished the whole bottle and for each of the girls the room was spinning. " Me neither Scoots." Applebloom told her. " It's okay gi-" Scoots stopped because she had just thrown up in her mouth and was trying hard not to throw up all over the livingroom. Then the worst thing that could of possibly happened, Marvil walked in,

" Hi girls wha-" Marvil looked at the empty jug and at the three drunk fillies. " Scootaloo! did you drink that itholth? Answer me young lady!" His answer was that the 3 girls threw up all over the floor.....

Rarity looked down and sighed. The five other girls and her were inside her house drinking tea. " Whats wrong Rarity, are you okay?" Fluttershy asked. Rarity looked up, all of the girls looked on her with with concern. She then dramaticaly said," Girls I think I'm getting fat!" All of the girls looked at her like she was nuts. " Rarity, yer not fat." Applejack told her, trying to comfort her friend." But how do you know girls, I think that every lady lies to herself to seem thiner and it tricks ourselfs and and other mares into it. The only way we can really tell if we're fat if we ask a colt."

The other girls looked around at each other, uncomfortable. They had never thought like that, matbe she was right. Then all of the girls then all thought the same thing. Were they fat? Had anyone ever thought that they were fat? They needed to ask a colt. Unfortuntily for Marvil he came in at that instant.

"Hey girls! Why are you staring at me?" Twilight regained her composer first." O hello Marvil! Did you check on that stallion this morning?" Marvil shook his head, " Ya, he's a big bastard too. Way bigger than big Mac. He was messed up pretty badly, it looks like he was attacked by a group my timber wolves. He hasn't woken up yet. Now why are you girls all starting at me like that?" The girls all looked in different directions, trying to figure out how to ask him. Then Rarity just went out and said it," Marvil, do you think any of us are fat?"

O.FUCK. ME

I've had some very bad experiences with women asking about their weight. And to be honest I would rather go unarmed in Sparta and call them all faggets. I tried to open the door to get the fuck out of there but Twilight closed it with her magic. " Marvil, we want to know!" All of the girls bobbed their heads in unsion. I could just jump out of the window. I'll just pay Rarity for the window later I couldn't get to the window though, The girls all were circling me. Then the best thing ever happened to me. We all heard a really loud growl and a crash.

We all looked out of the window and saw a huge dog with 3 heads, sniffing around houses. The damn thing was bigger than any f the houses, with a black coat and blood red eyes. " Thats not...." " Yes, its Cerberus. " Twilight told me. I tried to keep calm, " Any idea why the guardian of the underworld is in ponyville?" She shrugged.

I thought not....

" Alright everypony, stay here, I'll try to get it out of ponyville. Before the girls could say anything I was walking outside to the big ass dog. He saw my and I looked back at him." Hey boy!" I told Cerberus" Do ya want to go for a walk do ys boy?" He growled at me and I heard a voice in my head growl For that mortal, I'm going to eat you. Now hold still!

" O fuck me!" I turned around and ran out of ponyville as fast as my feet could take me, Cerberus right on my heels, telling me what he was going to do to me....

Rainbow sighed. She was outside sitting at a table by herself in the sugarcube corner. Why can't I just tell him? she thought to herself. She had been wrestling with the question for days. At first she was just going to just tell him but whenever she was about to tell him she would stop. Whats wrong with me? she groaned and slammed her head on the table." Why are you doing that dear?"

Rainbow looked and saw prehaps the most beautiful pony she had ever seen. She was all pony like Pinkie but had a very stylish hair do and a cutie mark that was a heart. Even her voice sounded beautiful. " You having love trouble?" " H-How did you know?"

The mare laughed, " Its my job! Anyway thats not important what is important is you and Marvil!" " How?...." But the mare cut her off. " You see, like every member of Marvil's family, Marvil will flirt with anything that moves. He is really a charmer isn't he? Just like his dad. But like every male in that line they are absolutley clueless when it comes to love. So buck up my dear and tell it to his face!" The mare got up. " Now my dear I have to go, but just remeber what I told you and you'll gave Marvil before you know it!"

As she was leaving Pinkie walked up to the strange mare and said, " O hello Aphrodite!" The mare nodded her head and kept walking. " Pinkie" Rainbow asked, confused, " Who and the buck is Aphrodite?" Pinkie smiled, " Thats a secret ya silly filly!" she then walked away, leaving a very confused Rainbow in her wake....

" Fuck.....you .......Cerberus" I panted. That damn dog had been chasing me for 15 miles. You run good mortal the dog told me. He was just as tried as I was, each of his heads panting. He was coated with sweat. " I...... hate....dogs, who in the sweet fuck let you out of the underworld?" lord Hades lets me out every few hundred years to get some excerise! the dog told me happily I usually smash some towns but you're fun! No ones ever had a run with me. Thank you!

I really didn't know how to take it that a 30 dog foot thanked my when a huge portal opened right in front of us. Cerberus wined my lord calls me back goodbye human! All 3 of his heads licked me, completely covering me in dog spit. He then walked through the portal and it was gone in an instant.

" It would of been nice of Hades to say thank you." I muttered, then I groaned. I was 15 miles from fucking home! " Well it looks like I got another run ahead of me." I muttered, getting ready for another run......

Next Chapter: Ch.20 I get another roommate Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 4 Minutes