There was nothing good on the telescope, as usual. Everywhere Princess Luna looked it was the same old bland goings-on. That BDSM couple in Manehattan had started closing their blinds, the trio in Trottingham who liked ménage a trois’ weren’t in the mood tonight, and that stallion in Canterlot who liked statue play had broken up with his girlfriend. It was infuriating really. She had to spend all night at this damn thing, keeping an eye on everypony under the moon; you’d think there would be some decent smut around to hold her attention. And the Equestrian courts kept cock-blocking her law to make closing blinds illegal before midnight.

There was still some commotion going on in Ponyville. She usually ignored the place; it was more straight-edge than two yardsticks having consensual, missionary sex. For the past few nights, however, there had been something going on at that one pony’s house. What was her name…? Twilight Sparkle’s friend. The white, prissy one.

Great, now thinking about Twilight Sparkle had only made her that much more sexually frustrated. Guess she may as well go investigate. She could always clop later: Celestia had been showing her how to use the ponynet, and she had rapidly discovered the large amount of kinky porn available on it. It just wasn’t the same as spying—I mean—observing ponies, though.

She elected to leave the guards at the palace, and teleported to the outskirts of the city.

It had been a few days since Rarity seduced Pinkie. She had thought perhaps banging all of her friends would somehow quell her sexual desires, but it hadn’t. She could feel the raw energy of from each of them writhing in her body even now. Suppose that was their love or whatever. She really should ask Queenie about it one of these days…

“The Great and Powerful Trixie demands you go faster!”

“Oh, be quiet. You’re lucky I agreed to serve you at all. Especially as this aesthetic train wreck.” She would’ve waved a hoof at her own body, but didn’t want to lose her grip on Trixie’s shoulders. She was some weird stallion version of Twilight, with a moustache/beard combo and a little too much muscle.

“I will not be spoken to in such a way! I—”

“Yes, yes, great, powerful, we know.” Rarity summoned a ball gag from her closet telekinetically, and shoved it into Trixie’s mouth as she continued to thrust into her, a little harder than she would’ve normally.

“Mmph, faffmph!”

It really was a burden being so generous. Trixie was easily her most entitled client so far. Admittedly, pandering to the whiny magician’s submissive streak had been kind of fun.

Trixie finally stopped talking, and Rarity could feel pressure starting to build in both of their bodies.

Finally!

Luna was tempted to get a better look at the scene, but it felt more exciting peeking just over the edge of the windowsill. Still missed her telescope. It was so demeaning having to sit on ground, all the good stuff just out of her field of vision. It was better than the ponynet, at least. She could smell and hear everything. The only real problem was that they finished before she did.

Rarity and Trixie both panted as they recovered from the extensive activities of the last hour.

Rarity summoned a nearby glass of water. “Well, that was fun. You know, the real Twilight is upstairs if you’re still horny.”

“Mmph, ffan fyu.” Trixie shook her head meekly.

Rarity shrugged, then turned to the window. “Alright, Princess, all done. I can see you now!” she called.

Luna was understandably surprised. Her magic should’ve made her presence impossible to detect, or at the very least hard to notice. She recovered quickly. A proper Princess was always prepared for unexpected possibilities. She stood up, dusted herself off, and walked over to Rarity’s door with as much eminence as she could muster.

When Luna walked in, she couldn’t help but notice Trixie still laying on the floor, still breathing heavily. She raised an eyebrow, pretending to be surprised.

“Enjoy the show?” Rarity asked. She had shed her bizarre appearance and was her usual marshmallow self.

Luna blushed, despite herself. “How did you know I was there?” She was tempted to push the façade, but there was clearly no point.

“Magic, of course.”

“No average pony would be able to see through my concealment spells.”

“Oh, I’m anything but average!” Rarity laughed. She quickly composed herself. “So, how can I help you? We already know you’re a voyeur, but I’m not sure what your other tastes are.”

“I…have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh? You didn’t come here for some kinky intercourse?”

“What!? Of course not!”

“No need to be shy, Princess. The entirety of Ponyville has already been to see me. In fact, I wasn’t expecting anyone else tonight, since most of them are…recovering.”

“A brothel was the last thing I expected when I arrived here.”

“Oh, and here I had been hoping I had become famous in Canterlot. Still, you’re here now. No need to—”

“Hmph, do not be absurd. I merely came here to investigate the commotion I had witnessed these last few nights.”

“Oh, it was more than just a ‘commotion.’” Rarity giggled to herself.

Luna rolled her eyes. “But now that I know you’re operating a business, it’s just a dash of paperwork, then I can leave.”

“Paperwork? For what?”

“Business license.”

“Oh, Princess Luna, I had no idea you had such a sense of humor! Really though, turn around.”

“This is no laughing matter! You’ve been selling yourself to the entire town. Equestrian tax law—”

“I haven’t charged anypony a single bit.”

“No, but all that emotional energy saturating your body didn’t come out of nowhere. Tax code 376B permits the taxation of vampirically-obtained energies, especially those involving changelings.”

“…how did you know?”

Luna smiled coyly. “Magic.”

Rarity grabbed her glass of water again, in a rather transparent attempt to regain her bearings. She had been expecting another client, not a Princess peddling tax code. She took a long chug and then put her glass back on the table. An idea occurred to her.

“Well, Princess, this is rather…unexpected. Surely there’s some way we gloss over this little legal mess?”

“Nice try, uhm, what was your name again?”

“Rarity.”

“Right, Rarity. Nice try, Rarity, but seducing royalty is a futile effort. We have highly honed self-control.”

“That’s why you were clopping in my yard a few minutes ago.”

Luna’s eyes flicked to the side and back again. “Well, regardless, it is pointless to tempt me. I’ve had a thousand years to hone my mental facilities. Just pay your fines and stop making things worse.”

“I’m not—”

Suddenly, Pinkie zipped down the stairs.

“Rarity, Rarity! Tell Twilight and the others to share Chrysalis! They promised to take turns at that intercourse thing and they’re not—”

“Pinkie, shush! And get Trixie out of here, she’s drooling on my carpet.”

“But they’re not sharing her, and you’re always busy, and I haven’t had an intercourse in days, and—”

Rarity shoved a hoof over Pinkie’s mouth, muffling her words but not stopping them.

“Well, a changeling sex slave… THAT has got to be illegal.”

“Oh, come now, Princess. You really are overreacting. Pinkie, honestly, move Trixie, and we’ll talk about this later.”

“SIGH. FINE.” Pinkie managed to get a grip on the sleeping unicorn and reluctantly dragged her upstairs.

Luna watched her go. “What’s going on up there?”

“Orgy,” Rarity replied simply.

“What? Is Twilight Sparkle up there?”

“Now, why would you be curious about that?”

“Because… I think my sister should know what sort of absurd behavior her student is getting into.”

“Sure… Honestly, you’re at least the thirteenth pony with a crush on that nerd. What’s so great about her? I mean sure, she has a nice body, I mean, a really great body. I fucked her enough to know, and really, I get that part—”

“Were you going somewhere with this?”

“Hmm? Oh, not really. She just has a great body. She’s still as naïve as ever, however, virgin or not.”

The moment she said the word “virgin” Rarity felt a flare of disappointment in Luna’s heart. She was still getting used to her emotion-reading abilities, but it was unmistakable.

“Disappointed? Princess, were you after Twilight’s virginity?”

“W-what!? No! Of course not!”

A devious grin crept over Rarity’s face. A flash of green fire spread across her body, and in a moment she had disguised herself as Twilight. She felt Luna’s heartbeat increase ever so slightly. Her crush was even more blatant than she had thought.

“Hard to tell the difference, isn’t it, Princess?”

Luna blushed again. “Try all the disguises you like, you will not sway me. In fact, I had best away so I can report you to the Better Business Buckaroo! Bureau! I meant Bureau…” Luna turned to the door, but Rarity swiftly closed it with a burst of magic.

Luna rolled her eyes. “What makes you think that will stop me?” She fired a burst of energy from her horn, but the door didn’t budge.

Uh oh.

“What’s the rush, Princess?” Rarity had disguised her voice as perfectly as her body.

“Stop this immediately, Rarity. Seducing me is pointless, and will only have severe consequences later.”

“Oh, Princess, I’m not Rarity, remember? I’m Twilight Sparkle.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Just play along, Princess. I’m very good at being Twilight.”

“No, this is absurd. I don’t…”

Rarity brushed up against the Princess’ body. Slowly. Seductively.

“Think of it as practice for the real thing. You wouldn’t want to disappoint her would you? She’s had a bit of experience ever since I took her virginity. An inexperienced virgin like yourself would never be able to impress her.”

Luna froze. “How did you know I was a virgin?”

“I didn’t.” Rarity brushed up against Luna’s butt as she said it. Even with her tail blocking the good stuff, she made sure to rub up against it just so.

Luna blushed furiously. She wanted to move, but she really hadn’t finished clopping earlier, and Twilight, I mean, Rarity rubbing against her was very distracting.

Rarity continued circling the Princess, sliding her body against that blue coat as enticingly as possible. “Just think, you could practice with me, and then when you ask the real Twilight, you’ll be so much more experienced.”

“I have thousands of years of experience.”

“Oh, but I guarantee it’s nothing like the real thing. A telescope, and a computer, and your hoof just don’t do it justice, Princess.” Rarity passed by the Princess’ backside again, and she noticed the blue tail had crept upwards several inches.

“Twilight Sparkle doesn’t feel that way about me anyway. You are wasting your time with this pitiful attempt at seduction.

“Am I?” She passed under Luna’s head, and tried to catch her eye.

Luna knew better. She had seen the green glint before. Changelings relied on eye contact. As long as she kept her gaze forward, Twilight wouldn’t be able to hypnotize her. Rarity, I mean, not Twilight.

“Come now, Princess. Twilight is mature. You’re mature. There’s no reason not to explore feelings like that in a healthy way. Sitting at that telescope every night, watching her read, watching her sleep. All because of a little Nightmare Night crush.” Rarity was at Luna’s rear again. The tail had stopped impeding her, but she left it be, to build suspense. “Why not just admit how you feel?”

“She’d rather have Celestia, anyway.” What? Where’d that come from?

“Nonsense. You’re just as good as Celestia. I think you look beautiful...”

Luna shook her head. “Enough!” She released a massive burst of magic, but the dark blue sphere was quickly overridden by an identical light blue wave from Rarity’s body. The princess quickly felt the fatigue set in. Her powers were rustier than she thought.

“Why won’t you look at me, Princess? Don’t you like me?”

“I know better than to look a changeling in the eye.”

Rarity brushed a hoof against Luna’s privates. Just a quick touch. She felt the princess shudder noticeably. “I promise you’ll enjoy it, Princess. Why wouldn’t you? You love me don’t you? You have ever since we met on Nightmare Night.”

“You’re not Twilight Sparkle. And I don’t even feel that way about her…she’d rather have my sister.” Luna scrunched her eyes closed. She was getting uncomfortably horny, and that damn changeling wasn’t helping.

“I promise that’s not true. And I can prove it.”

Luna had spent many centuries avoiding relationships, intentionally or not. Her telescope was just easier. She hadn’t meant to get a crush on Twilight, that was an accident. But now she was here, throwing herself at Luna. Anypony would be tempted. And that burst of magic had made her very tired. She should’ve known better. She sat down, just for a moment to recover her strength.

“Why won’t you look at me, Princess? Don’t you like me?”

“You’re not supposed to look in a changeling’s eyes.”

“I’m not a changeling, silly! I’m Twilight Sparkle.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Of course I am! I was right upstairs, and Rarity told me you wanted to talk to me.”

“She did?”

“Yep, something about Rarity doing horribly illegal things. Honestly, she’s pretty, but she doesn’t always think ahead.”

Luna opened her eyes. Twilight was standing in front of her. Seeing the purple unicorn was oddly calming. Rarity was right: that body was fantastic.

“Uhm, Twilight Sparkle, I was wondering…silly question…”

“What?”

“Who do you like better, me or Celestia?”

“Well, that is a silly question. It’s you, of course.”

“Really?”

“Would I lie to you?”

Luna finally looked in Rarity’s eyes. Even though she thought she saw a hint of green at the edges, she couldn’t remember why she had been avoiding them.

“Twilight? I wanted to tell you something… I love you.”

“I know, Princess.” Rarity leaned in and kissed Luna. She waited a little while then added a bit of tongue. Luna didn’t resist at all.

As Rarity felt Luna’s love seeping into her body, she also felt the love of her friends flowing from upstairs. Rarity had ordered Queenie to funnel any love she absorbed back to Rarity, and it seemed she had listened.

The two streams of energy flooding her body was amazing. It was like a glass of fine wine, paired with a matching cheese. It was like taking a bath while reading the perfect magazine. It was like having sex with two ponies at once.

Perhaps that last simile was a little inappropriate.

Author's Notes:

I should've called this story Is anypony NOT a virgin? and then the last chapter could've been called "Well, they aren't NOW!"