A new day dawned on Ponyville. Everything seemed the same as always. Pleasantly normal. To a significant portion of Ponyville, however, it was anything but.

Fluttershy woke up next to Chrysalis. It was awkward to say the least, spooning with a changeling queen. It was made more awkward by her incessant clopping. At least she hadn’t tried anything dastardly or evil since Rarity left her there yesterday. Well, except for the reverse credit card, but that required at least three ponies, and “illegal” wasn’t really the same as “dastardly” anyway…

Applejack and Rainbow Dash woke up next to each other. It was a little awkward, spooning with your best friend. Not as awkward as the previous night had been, but still fairly uncomfortable. But as Applejack lay sleepily in the early morning light, listening to Dash breath softly behind her, it really wasn’t that bad.

Rainbow rolled over, snorting but not waking up, and AJ started to feel… what was the word? Lonely? Without Dash’s arm over her shoulder she definitely felt cold at the least. Yeah, that must be it. The orange pony turned over, draping her hoof across Rainbow’s chest, and pressing her body closer to the blue pegasus. She had to wriggle a bit to avoid her mane, but once she settled into place it felt nice. It felt right. She wasn’t sure why, but decided not to worry about it.

Twilight woke up next to a concerning number of sex toys. It was awkward, but at least she was the only pony who was there to see it. She had told Spike to spend the night with the Cakes, and when he had asked why she had managed to deflect him with stories about “adult research.”

“What, like salary inflation and, uhm, tax exemption?” He had asked. His naiveté would’ve been cute if she hadn’t been in the middle of clopping furiously at the time. It had worked, however, and that was all that mattered. As Twilight slowly woke up, she couldn’t help but think of Rarity, of Pinkie, of Celestia, and her eyes slowly wandered towards the nearest vibrator despite her better judgment.

Rarity woke up next to a mare, a stallion, and a dog. It was quite awkward for all of them, save Rarity. The mare was a unicorn, a DJ, and a closet BDSM addict. The stallion was a pegasus, a Wonderbolt, and really liked brunettes and food play. None of them had any clue about the dog, to be honest.

Pinkie Pie woke up alone. It wasn’t awkward in the least; everything seemed the same as always. Pleasantly normal. Little did she know it would be the last morning that felt like that in a long time.

Rarity was the first of them to get out of bed. As a changeling she didn’t strictly need sleep anymore. That was why she had been able to spend so much time at that nightclub scoping out targets. And after quite a wild night, she really only fell asleep because the sexy shenanigans didn’t feel right without it.

She didn’t bother to shower or put on any of her usual makeup. Her new powers made both those things unnecessary. She let the other two ponies sleep, although she did shoo out the dog before Opal woke up.

Rarity strolled confidently out of her house, basking in the warm sunlight as she trotted through town. After a brisk walk she finally arrived at her destination; Sugarcube Corner.

Rarity was somewhat concerned about confronting Pinkie. With her other friends it was a question of whether they were virgins (they were), whether they had reached any of the three bases (they hadn't) and whether they had a ponynet connection (they did). With Pinkie it was a question of whether she even knew what sex WAS, and Rarity frankly wasn't sure of the answer.

It’s alright Rarity. Just be gentle with her. Don’t jump in, expecting fun. Don’t swagger in with an elephant gun. Be delicate, but seductive. Pinkie may be naïve, but she has the same desires as anypony else. I think…

After the brief mental pep talk, Rarity knocked loudly on the door, and was promptly answered by an upbeat pink blur.

“Hi Rarity! What’re you doing here? Oooh, do you have to plan a party? You know that’s my specialty!”

“In a sense… May I come in?”

“Sure as sweet bread! Or sure as soup! Whichever seems surer to ya!”

Pinkie hopped inside, heading towards the kitchen to finish whatever chore she had been working on.

“Are the Cakes around Pinkie?”

“No, they went to bring Spike back to Twilight. Apparently she was busy as a beehive holding a beauty pageant yesterday, so he stayed here!” She responded from the kitchen.

A smile crept across Rarity’s face as she locked the door with a quick burst of magic. She followed Pinkie into the kitchen, where the earth pony was measuring some ingredients into a series of bowls.

“So what was this particular party you were planning, pray tell?”

“Well, I was actually thinking of making it a sexy party…”

“Sexy party…?” Pinkie actually stopped her baking for a moment to think, scratching her chin with a hoof, getting a dash of flour on it in the process. “I don’t think I’ve ever been to a sexy party…”

“Well, you know what sex is, don’t you?”

“Oh don’t be a silly Samantha, of course I do! When two ponies love each other, they date, and propose, and get married. On the back of their marriage license is a recipe for a really delicious dish that only they get. On their honeymoon, they go somewhere alone together and make that recipe, and leave it out for the stork, and then the stork is attracted by the delicious aroma and brings them a calf based on the thing they baked! And the recipe is called a sex.” Pinkie rolled her eyes dramatically. “I thought everypony knew that…”

She returned to her quantifying, while Rarity merely stood there dumbstruck.

“Not sure how you could have a party based on an activity for just two married ponies though…”

“So, uh… I guess nopony ever gave you the ‘horseflies and herons’ speech did they Pinkie?”

“Oh Rarity, horseflies and herons can’t get married! Anything else I should explain? I’ll be an explanatory Ellie! But I really thought you knew these sorts of things.”

“Erm… right… Say Pinkie, do you have a ponynet connection?”

“Oh, sure I do! I found this recipe on it!”

“Good good, and have you ever seen anything… weird on there?”

“Well, now that you mention it, this one time I saw a video of a cat playing the keyboard! That was pretty weird!”

Rarity resisted the urge to facepalm. Just barely. Fed up with subtlety, she slowly moved a little closer to Pinkie.

“Well, that’s interesting darling, but what if I told you sex doesn’t quite work that way?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, sex is certainly an activity between two intimate individuals, but it’s a little more… physical than cooking.”

“What, like jogging? I don’t think jogging and baking would go very well together, Rarity.”

“No, silly.” Rarity slid closer to Pinkie. “I mean something more like this…” She put a hoof on Pinkie’s haunch, and slowly slipped it down and towards her...

“Rarity, what are you doing?” Pinkie backed away from Rarity, clearly confused.

“Demonstrating. You see Pinkie, everypony has a certain spot on their body that makes them feel really good when you touch it…”

“Rarity, I know what tickling is!”

“Well, do you know what clopping is?”

“Sure, that’s the sound your hooves make! What’s with the quiz Rarity, you’re really not making very much sense!”

“Well, you see Pinkie, I had this idea for a party, but clearly you can’t help me since you don’t know what I’m talking about…” Rarity turned to leave, giving a reasonably convincing performance.

“What no, hang on Rarity! I’m the number one party pony in all of Ponyville, and if you’re gonna plan one I positively insist you let me help!”

“Well, alright… Why don’t I show you in your room?”

Pinkie shrugged, and bounced her way out of the kitchen and up the stairs, Rarity close behind.

When they arrived in Pinkie’s room Rarity made a conscious effort not to look too closely at any of the décor. Everything seemed to be coated in some bright pastel color, and her items were clearly sorted by color rather than any other criteria. It was eye-straining to say the least.

“Okay, we’re here, but what’s so special about my room?”

“Well, you said it yourself dear; sex is an intimate activity.” Rarity strolled up to the bed, hopped on, and patted the spot next to her. Pinkie was still perplexed, but eager to prove she was a capable party planner. She sat down on the bed next to Rarity.

“Now darling, the key to a sexy party is the activities.”

“Right, obviously.”

“So the first activity I was thinking of for my sexy party was some communal clopping.”

“You want to walk around…?”

“Nonono, you see, clopping is where you touch yourself in a pleasurable way, and you can do it alone or with a friend.”

“Okay…”

“Here, take your hoof, and start rubbing yourself right here…” Rarity guided Pinkie’s hoof down to her-

“Rarity, are you sure this a good idea?”

“Of course I am, what’s wrong?”

“Well, I just… feel sort of… uncomfortable.”

“Oh don’t be silly darling, you’re the one who wanted to help me remember? I promise you’ll enjoy it. Here, just move it like this…” Rarity started to slowly rub herself, and Pinkie began to clumsily copy her.

Despite the palpable discomfort oozing from Pinkie, Rarity started to get into it. But just as she had started to pick up the pace she noticed Pinkie wasn’t quite doing it correctly.

“Rarity I don’t-”

“No no, you’re doing it wrong. Here let me show you.” The white unicorn slid behind Pinkie and slid her hoof in between the pink pony’s thighs.

“Rarity, I’m not-”

“Shh… Just stay calm, relax.”

“But I don’t think…” In the middle of her sentence she started to feel it. She closed her eyes and let out a faint squeak, which Rarity took as a sign to start going faster.

Pinkie started to breathe faster, the feelings spreading from her nethers unfamiliar but not unpleasant. Rarity took her time. For a solid 15 minutes the only sounds throughout the house were Pinkie’s increasingly heavy breathing and the steady rhythm of Rarity’s hoof. Eventually the silence was broken by Pinkie grunting loudly. She wasn’t sure how much noise one was supposed to make, but as she fell onto her bed she figured it wasn’t a big deal.

“Wow Rarity, sex is pretty amazing…”

Rarity chuckled to herself. “That wasn’t sex.”

Pinkie’s eyes popped open. She rolled over to face Rarity. “Well then what was it?”

“That was clopping.” A flash of green surrounded Rarity’s lower half, and when it vanished there was a large organ that Pinkie didn’t recognize resting between the unicorn’s legs. “Sex is where I stick this inside you instead of my hoof.”

Pinkie tried to back away but quickly ran out of bed.

“Well, thanks for the lesson Rarity, but I think that you should get someone else to help you with this sexy party. I’m definitely not-”

Rarity walked closer to Pinkie, pressing her face a little closer than she should have. “But the party’s already started Pinkie. You don’t want to be a bad host do you?”

“I… I…” Pinkie tried to look anywhere but at Rarity. She couldn’t think of anything to say.

“Just hold still. I’ll do all the work. You’ll enjoy it, Pinkie Promise!”

Pinkie finally ran out of places to glance, and stared into Rarity’s eyes. She had no idea why, but as soon as she looked into those calm blue pools she felt oddly at ease.

Rarity stroked Pinkie’s cheek. “Now, you’re not going to panic right?”

Pinkie bit her lower lip and shook her head slowly.

“Good. I’ll be gentle, I promise.” She whispered.

And for the first couple of times, she was.

Author's Notes:

Tried to make this hilariously awkward, but instead I think it may just be awkwardly creepy. Oh well, guess it's not that different from the other chapters then...

Tried to avoid lesbian shipping cuz it's cliche, but AppleDash whatever.