Everyday Life With Guardsmares
Chapter 91
Previous Chapter Next ChapterHonour Bound
Corporal Honour Bound was looking forward to a nice, quiet day. One with no unpleasant surprises from the junior enlisted under her charge. And no nearly-underage batpony coltfriend on display. And no pressure to try on scandalously high-cut dresses for the Gala. Just her, her armor, and her spear, on guard beside the Royal Engineer's doors. And the Royal Engineer himself, sitting on a stool at one of the recently-installed workbenches in his quarters, working on some mechanical thing or another.
And Specialist Sparkshower on the other side of the doors, just in case anypony came for a visit. Artemis deserved the extra shift to make up for her mistake -- to the Royal Engineer, for having deceived him, and to Honour, for having embarrassed the quaternion and given her a headache.
As much as the corporal knew that Anonymous wanted to get things sorted out for his 'Self-Propelled Air Defence Weapon' demonstration, she’d much prefer a nice, quiet day. Nothing but some tinkering with his tools, maybe a quick trip down to the carriage-house for some adjustments to the vehicle, possibly even yet another driving lesson -- which was stressful, but becoming less so, at least -- and then an easy hoof-off to Ebonshield for the night shift.
Easy-keeper little-hay-eater.
Provided Glamerspear hadn't somehow managed to start some utter nonsense upstairs, things might just wind up going that easily.
Honour was just starting to feel relaxed when there was a knock at the door.
This interruption, she hoped, was just an expected delivery. Cracking open the door, Honour saw a pair of brightly-coloured unicorn colts in dark grey frock coats, with brown waistcoats underneath, and matching bowler hats on top.
They were a bit overdressed for a simple delivery.
"Yes?"
The older colt's horn glowed orange as he floated off his grey hat. "Mister Henry Fortstable to see the Lord Engineer, ma'am?"
It was a surprise to hear the gentlecolt himself at the door. The Royal Engineer told her only that he was expecting a delivery from Henry Fortstable & Co., renowned Canterlot coach-builders, not that the actual Henry Fortstable would be making the trip.
From behind her, Honour heard the Royal Engineer call out before she could relay the greeting.
"Did I hear Mr. Fortstable himself at the door, Corporal? Please show him in."
It sounded like her employer was equally surprised.
As Corporal Bound and Sparkshower pulled the double doors open wide and allowed the two unicorns to enter, Honour noticed to her relief that the other colt was quite clearly an assistant, as he had a pair of heavily-laden saddle-bags slung over his haunches. Since it was just a package delivery, she hadn't even thought to check on Mr. Fortstable's affinity.
Anonymous put down his tools and stood up, wiping his hands on his leather work-apron. "Ah, Mister Fortstable, you really didn't need to attend to me personally like this. Surely your business must be bustling with the Gala coming up."
The older colt smiled. "My Lord is too kind. But my faith in my employees is surpassed only by my desire to satisfy my most valuable customers."
Anonymous chuckled. "I'm not sure how I managed to reach that lofty height with just two orders under my belt."
‘Two orders?’
Henry Fortstable & Co. built the base chassis for the Royal Engineer's steam-powered 'automobile.' Had he ordered a second one already? Maybe so, but Honour’s VIP had said that today's delivery would be relatively small; just a few parts he was looking for. What could they possibly have brought?
As if to answer her question, the younger assistant, at Henry Fortstable's beckoning, trotted over to one of the workbenches and telekinetically hoisted the bags off of his back. Then her Very Important Pony (who isn't actually a pony) grabbed the floating bag and placed it on the table, flipping open the cover to pull out...
A large black metal coil?
Fortstable watched as the Royal Engineer looked the thing over. "I hope it meets your specifications, m'lord."
Anonymous squeezed the coil at its ends, squishing it almost flat, and then let go with one hand. The coil expanded itself back into place.
‘It's some kind of spring?’
"Seems about the right stiffness. Sorry I couldn't be more precise in my instructions -- I assumed I'd have to do a bit of tweaking myself, possibly cutting it down to size. What did you make of my other proposal?"
Now it was Fortstable's turn to pull something out, and his horn lit up as a folded-up piece of paper appeared from underneath his coat. "I think I've grasped the concept, m'lord. Here's the design we've produced. With your approval, we can begin work as soon as the Gala is over. I'm afraid for this more involved task I can't spare the workers until then."
Putting down the coil-spring, Anonymous unfolded the sheet and looked it over, then nodded again. "Seems correct to me. And I understand perfectly about the timetable, of course..."
He handed back the paper and picked up the spring once more. "I'll use this for the accelerator for now, and if the brakes work out on your end, then we can hook them up as well. Here, let me show you what I've got in store."
‘Accelerator?’
‘Brakes?’
The carriage already had brakes, though the experience almost running over Lieutenant Vi at Royal Eastern Racetrack had made it plainly obvious that they were both far too easy to accidentally leave on, what with the surprising puissance of Anonymous 'steam-engine,' as well as difficult to reset in an actual emergency. 'Accelerator' also made her think of the awkward little screw valve used to adjust the engine's power.
Maybe he was planning to rectify those problems?
But how would springs help?
All Anonymous had told Honour was that he was planning some enhancements to his 'automobile,' and she, feeling a bit exhausted and overwhelmed that morning from everything that had happened up until then, declined to press him for the details. She knew he would freely tell her his ideas if she asked, and she probably would inquire about them later.
But she was not really in the mood to ask, today.
Today, she just wanted quiet.
The Royal Engineer led Fortstable and his assistant over to another workbench and unrolled a blueprint. Honour let her attention wander, shutting their conversation out of her mind; there were already too many things galloping around up there already.
Sparkshower's impropriety.
Glamerspear's repeated outbursts.
Ebonshield's stand-out difference.
The Gala.
Honour’s dress for the Gala (‘How did Glamerspear manage to con me into that one,’ she’d thought, after looking herself over in the mirror again later in the evening).
And then there was Castlerook. And Castlerook's offer for her to return to Fillydelphia. The way he phrased it, in his usual easygoing style, it was something like a casual invitation. But something told her he intended to pursue it as a solid plan. Which meant at some point he'd stop leaving things at an awkward goodbye outside her door.
Honour still wasn’t sure how to feel about that.
And with that feeling came all the rest: her personal despair at having failed to achieve success in life, the ongoing exceptional experience of working for the Royal Engineer, the whole strange situation with the batponies, the embarrassing and exhausting training of her VIP in combat, Glamerspear's feud with Kilfeather, Anonymous' incredible flowers after her gaffe, Bitsmount somehow getting away with blaming everything on a subordinate, her alien employer's naivete about Equestrian society...
There was another knock at the door. Honour pulled it open a crack and peeked out.
It was another colt dressed in ordinary day wear -- a plain brown suit with a rough-looking bowler hat, but worn by a big earth pony, this time. Must be another one of Fortstable's employees, maybe come to check up on his master. Anonymous and the businesscolt had been chattering away at his desk for quite a few minutes, now. The Royal Engineer was trying to explain something to Mr. Forstable about springs and wheels and brakes and such, but Honour just didn’t have the concentration to follow along today.
She nodded at the new visitor. "Yes?"
He didn’t remove his hat. "I'm here for the Royal Engineer. It's a delivery."
'Must not be with Fortstable after all.'
‘Well, whatever.’
The Royal Engineer didn’t have to tell her about every package he was receiving. With that particular carriage-parts delivery, he must have suspected it could turn into a meeting.
Honour cleared her throat. "Another delivery for you, sir."
Anonymous barely looked up from where he was still discussing plans with the carriage-builder. "Sure, sure, let them in, Corporal."
She nodded at Sparkshower and they pulled the doors open in unison.
It was a bit annoying, having them open inwards. Honour always felt like her view of the visitors was always completely obscured until they stepped well into the room. Most noticeably with Her Majesty Princess Luna.
The corporal wondered when -- if -- she would visit again. Would she want a debriefing on the quaternion's experiences with her batponies, her 'Children of the Stars'? Maybe an opinion or two on where to go next with integrating them into Equestrian society? Right now, all they seemed to have was a small colony underneath Canterlot and a little work guarding the palace walls at night. Though the minotaur smith, Bronzehorn, insinuated that he'd met some of them before, and his shop was all the way out in Newcastle-upon-Mare, so some of the batponies must have permission to roam a little more widely...
Or maybe they didn't. That would be an interesting report to give.
The big, young-looking green colt in the brown suit stepped forward into the room and paused a moment before clearing his throat. "Mister Anonymous? Royal Engineer of Equestria?"
He mumbled the line a bit, the sign of an amateur delivery-pony. Same with failing to remove his hat -- not a polite thing to do. Honour also noticed he didn’t have any saddle-bags. Must just be a letter-courier. Strange to see an earth pony working that gig instead of hauling heavy cargo, though. Then again, right before the Gala was the second-busiest period of the year for the postal service -- and for every private delivery company as well. Plenty of invites being sent out, plans being made, orders being placed, after-parties and before-parties being set up. No surprise a private firm would pull their big haulers off of low-profit bulk work to put them on higher-margin letter jobs.
Anonymous looked up with a smile. "Yes, hello, that's me. Do you need me to sign for something?"
The big colt shook his head and sat down on his haunches, putting his forehooves together and fussing with them for a moment. "No, sir. To answer for something."
In the blink of an eye, there was a sharp PANG noise as the visitor absolutely whipped one of his horseshoes down at the carpeted floor between him and the Royal Engineer. The metal U-shape ricocheted up in the air before falling back down just a few hooves in front of her VIP.
‘Throwing down a horseshoe at the Royal Engineer?’
‘Now what in the violet Tartarus is this?’
Honour had her answer when there was a clattering of heavy bronze armor from the other side of the open door.
"HUCKLEBERRY?!"
‘Oh, buck.’
Reaching back for one of her javelins, Honour pushed her door closed and saw Sparkshower stepping forward. Her previously-long-distance-but-now-uncomfortably-close-distance coltfriend didn’t so much as make a single glance in her direction, keeping the Royal Engineer fixed in his gaze.
By now, Fortstable and his assistant had looked up and turned around as well. But while they were shocked by the interruption and the challenge, their VIP just looked perplexed, staring down at the iron horseshoe with a furrowed brow.
He couldn’t possibly have any idea of what just happened.
Honour hastily closed the other door as Sparkshower approached her apparently jilted lover.
"... Huckleberry, what are you doing here?!"
He just kept on ignoring her, speaking to their VIP instead. "Well, Mister Anonymous? This here's a matter of honor. Are you an honorable colt?"
Sparkshower answered before the Royal Engineer could. "Huckleberry, speak to me! What's this all about? Why are you here?!"
Finally, as Honour also stepped up behind him, he deigned to briefly look over at her. But he equally quickly snapped his eyes back up at her employer.
With a loud sniff, he licked his lips before speaking again. "You know what this is about, Mister Anonymous: you've taken somethin' that don't belong to you. I'm here for satisfaction -- that's what I want."
There was some hesitation in his voice when he spoke the second line. No surprise somepony idiotic enough to issue a challenge like this may not have entirely thought things through.
Honour sidestepped the furniture and circled around to get closer to her employer. Formal challenge or no, she was not going to take any chances with this big colt.
Sparkshower continued to harangue her beau. "What do you mean 'taken'? Is this about the Maypole? That was my mistake, Huckleberry. I asked the Royal Engineer to dance, and I didn't think through the consequences. But I changed my mind and was just about to write to tell you so."
Honour saw the green colt's jaw clench and unclench, but he maintained his firm stance, even as he finally addressed the pegasus in the room. "This don't concern you, Thunder. This is between me an' Mister Anonymous here."
Having thus been acknowledged, she stepped out in front of him, interposing herself between her angry colt and her baffled employer. "What do you mean it don't concern me?! It's about me, isn't it?"
She let a bit of her country Berry accent slip out when she sent Huckleberry's words right back at him.
"I said it's a matter of honor, Thunder. Mine, and Mister Anonymous' here." Standing up on all fours again, he lifted his head above hers and once again called out to Honour’s VIP.
"...Well, what's it going to be, Mister?"
But Sparkshower flapped her wings to get back up in front of his face. "Don't just dismiss me like that, Huckleberry! I'm not some piece of your personal property!"
Instantly, he snapped back. "Oh, so it's true, then."
Just as quickly, she reverted to pleading her case. "No, it isn't, Huckleberry, but how can I explain it when you aren't listening to me?"
He shook his head. "You don't have to explain anything. You're free to make your choice; free as a bird, if you please."
She threw her forehooves up, almost dropping her spear in the process. "But I didn't change anything! You didn't say you were coming and I made a mistake!"
Huckleberry managed a halfhearted scowl, but it became grim when he peeked around his estranged marefriend in Honour’s direction. "Not as big a mistake as your new coltfriend just made. He accepted my challenge! And I got witnesses!"
‘Oh, no, please Celestia please don't say that Anonymous picked up the horseshoe.’
Honour glanced behind her and, sure enough, the Royal Engineer was holding up the curved piece of iron like a delicate flower -- albeit at a distance from himself, as if it were a particularly foul-smelling one.
"I'm sorry, I think there's been a terrible misunderstanding here. Mister Huckleberry, is it? What's the meaning of this? What exactly are you accusing me of having done?"
The colt replied plaintively, raising his voice even more. "You know what you did, you damn dirty mare-stealing ape! Otherwise, you wouldn't have picked up my horseshoe, would you? There's witnesses here, too! It's a challenge good and proper!"
Sparkshower was too shocked by her coltfriend's name-calling to interject, and Huckleberry continued on. "Come on, you there, Mister unicorn, what's your name? This is a matter of Equestrian honor!"
Fortstable stepped forward, a weighty frown on his face and a pair of 'pince-museau' reading glasses on his muzzle. "My name's Henry Fortstable, foal. But I'm not witness to anything -- not anything legitimate, at any rate."
Huckleberry appeared confused and infuriated. "What?! You were right here, Mister Fortstable -- You heard me call him out and saw him pick it up! That means it's a duel!"
Fortstable shook his head. "Foal, I may disapprove heavily of the ancient barbaric tradition of dueling, but at least I know the rules for it."
He turned to Anonymous and nodded. "Lord Anonymous is a member of the Blue Chamber of Equestria; Celestia's privy council. I don't know your exact station in life, but I'm guessing he's well above it, and therefore within his rights to dismiss your challenge out of hoof."
Huckleberry stamped his four hooves on the ground angrily. "Yeah, maybe he can -- but he didn't! He picked it up anyways! Come on, Mister Anonymous! Are you going to rob my honor and spit in my face at the same time?"
For a green pony, he was getting pretty red in the face. This could easily escalate into a fight; Honour readied her javelin, but Sparkshower was on top of the big colt before she could do anything else.
"Your honor! Your honor?! Is that all you care about now, Huckleberry? Your honor? Since when did you get so callous?"
Huckleberry looked her straight in the eyes and deadpanned his next words. "Since you came flying away here."
The words pierced straight through Sparkshower's armor, and she dropped out of the air down to her hooves with a loud metallic clatter. "I... I came to Canterlot for you, Huckleberry! I wanted to find somewhere we could both live and work and not be so far apart all the time! Somewhere safe for a pegasus and earth pony alike!"
Huckleberry didn't reply, save for hardening his face, while his jaw clenched.
"... Why won't you answer me?"
Huckleberry looked down at Sparkshower, then up at Anonymous, then back and forth once more, before muttering to himself. "If that's the way it is, then that's the way it is..."
Finally, breathing heavily, and with a sharp sniffle to begin, he addressed himself to the Royal Engineer -- but looked at his marefriend while speaking. "...Have a care with this one, Mister Anonymous. My momma always told me not to fall in love with a pegasus, 'cause one day she'd surely fly away and break my heart. I guess she was right."
Honour heard, rather than saw, Sparkshower's jaw drop against the inside of her bassinet helmet.
"You... You..."
Her wings trembling, Sparkshower shouted up at Huckleberry. "You came all the way to Canterlot to defend your supposed honor, when you wouldn't come for your marefriend or for a career or even a golden ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala itself!" Panting heavily and with tears streaming from her eyes, she continued. "... I send you letter after letter after letter pleading to see you again, and I get nothing in reply! And when I do see you again, you won't even say hello to me?"
Even the large earth pony's imposing iron jaw seemed to be softening from the withering verbal assault. "And Lord Anonymous! He offered that Gala ticket to you and me both out of the kindness and generosity in his heart! He never treated me as anything other than a valued bodyguard -- never as a piece of property! And you come in here and throw your horseshoe down at his hooves just like that?"
Gritting her teeth, Sparkshower launched herself up into the air, twirled her spear around in the air, then dived down and slammed the butt loudly against the ground, before finally brandishing the weapon aggressively at the colt, hovering in place. "Do you want a duel with the Royal Engineer that badly? Well, I'm one of his bodyguards, and, Mister Pudding, let me tell you that you may be a big colt, but I'm still a persimmon well above your huckleberry!"
"But Thunder, he picked up my-"
She instantly prodded the spear closer towards his face. "Don't call me that when you're not acting like a friend should, Huckleberry! And don't make this about you and Anonymous when it's really about you an' me!"
Still furious, she paused her rant to wait for a reply.
Huckleberry swallowed and sniffed, but continued to scowl. "You can say what you want, Artemis, but ponies are talking back in Berry. I've been made the town fool 'cause of you an' him!"
He pointed a forehoof at Anonymous, but all Honour could think was: 'Wrong answer, buddy.'
Sparkshower shook her head, sniffling but still holding her spear steady.
"Huckleberry Pudding, I don't know if I care to see you ever again."
For once, her words seemed to have the same effect on him as his words had had so far on her, and the green colt started to lose some of his nerve.
He lost a lot more of it when she nodded her visor down across her eyes and poked her spear towards his sternum. "...In the name of Anonymous, by Appointment to Their Majesties Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, Royal Engineer of Equestria, I order you to vacate these premises immediately!"
Finally, Huckleberry yielded to the bronze armored pegasus and backed up a few hooves, followed closely by Sparkshower, before turning to grab the door handle. Facing the room one last time, he paused for a moment as if to give some parting words, but either couldn’t think of anything or decided, wisely, to keep his mouth shut.
The latch clicked softly back in place behind the big colt.
Sparkshower just floated down to the ground in front of the double doors.
Honour glanced back up at Anonymous, who nodded knowingly in Artemis’ direction.
Replacing her javelin, the corporal headed over to Sparkshower. She was panting heavily and still holding her spear at the ready.
"Artemis? Are you all right?"
There was a sniffle from within the helmet, and she raised a hoof to lift the visor. Her eyes were bloodshot and her muzzle was soaked with tears, and she spoke in a quivering voice.
"Permission to be relieved of duty, Corporal?"
Honour nodded. "You're dismissed for today, Specialist. Report to the barracks."
Sparkshower nodded, then tried to wipe the tears from her face with a foreleg -- but bronze armor wasn’t exactly the most absorbent material, so all she managed to do was smear it around. Despite that, and with nothing more than a deep breath, she leapt into the air with a surprising energy and spread her wings, twirling her spear dramatically around above her head once again. Floating above Honour, she spun around, rearing back to clang her off-hoof sabot into her visor, addressing their VIP.
"Specialist Sparkshower retiring from duty, sir. I'll be upstairs if you need me."
Anonymous nodded. "I'm sorry about what happened, Specialist. Why don't you take it easy for a while?"
Honour pulled the door open for her, and she flapped her way out of the room without so much as another sniffle.
For what that just was, she seemed to handle it pretty well. And despite lacking confidence at the beginning of the Battle of Newstirrup Bridge, Sparkshower was a pretty tough mare.
She could make it through this rough break-up, Honour was certain.
Artemis Sparkshower's theme song: Adele - Set Fire to the Rain [Thomas Gold Remix]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xJ76LMOg7s
