Artemis Sparkshower

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Specialist Artemis Sparkshower really wasn’t sure about this. It was just after breakfast, and on the card table before her sat the final, pencil-written draft of her letter to Huckleberry Pudding. Her follow-up letter, that is -- the one that was going to undo the mistakes of the one she’d sent off yesterday morning. If she posted this one before noon today, it should arrive tomorrow or the day after. That should be plenty of time to solve the problem she’d created in Berry.

'But only if it works.'

And Artemis wasn’t entirely certain it would.

The washroom door opened, and Glamerspear emerged with a towel around her head and another one draped over her back, fresh from a shower after that morning's Pony Physical Training. Since she’d opted to use bath towels, Artemis figured she mustn't have been in the mood for one of those quick 'WC-40' unicorn-magic drying maneuvers. With a smile on her face, Lily settled down onto the sofa, lying on her back, and telekinetically picked up one of her Cosmoponitan magazines.

‘Maybe a fresh set of eyes will settle things.’

Artemis cleared her throat. "Ahem, Ah, Lily? Could you lend me a hoof for a few minutes?"

The unicorn turned her head around to face the pegasus. "Sure, Sparks, what's up?"

Tapping her hoof on the table, Artemis slid the paper towards her. "It's the letter to my coltfriend; the one that's supposed to set everything straight. Do you think you could look it over for me before I put it in ink?"

Lily smiled and, as quickly as she put the sleazy magazine back down on the coffee table, her teal magical aura moved to envelop Artemis’ piece of foolscap instead, and she quickly spun around to sit up on the sofa.

"Oh, are you already working on that? Why, what's the rush?"

‘What's the rush?’

‘This is my relationship on the line, here!’

"I just don't want to have this hanging overhead like a bad storm-cloud for too long."

Lily shrugged. "Ho-kay. Personally, I would've let him simmer for a bit beforehoof. I mean, what's he gonna do? Come to Canterlot and confront you for having another dance partner? Pfft, fat chance if he wouldn't even come when you gave him a free ticket to the Gala. Anyways, let's see what you've got."

She paused for a moment to re-wrap the towels around herself, then leaned forward and began to read. "'My dearest Pudding' -- really, Sparks? You're on a last-name basis with him in letters?"

Artemis protested. "But I like his last name! It's cute! And he sometimes calls me his 'Little Lightning-Shower,' too!"

With a snort, the unicorn grinned and continued reading. "'I'm so sorry for what I said in my previous letter. I had to apologize to the Royal Engineer as well when my friends pointed out what I had done. You know that I could never dance the Maypole with anyone else but you, and if you can't come to Canterlot for the Grand Galloping Gala, then I shan't dance it at all'..."

Glamerspear shook her head. "There's gonna be a thousand handsome colts waiting at the Gala, Sparks. You sure you wanna put that commitment in writing?"

Artemis frowned. Surely Lily wasn’t suggesting she abandon her coltfriend now, in the middle of trying to undo the damage she’d caused? "Yes, I'm sure, Lily. I'm still committed to him, and you were the one who previously scolded me yesterday morning for breaking up with my colt by mail!" Lifting her head, she sat up straight in the chair. "If I ever do want to change anything between us, Celestia forbid, I'll do it in person like a proper gentlemare."

Lily just shrugged in reply, still grinning. "Your choice. I'm just sayin', the field'll be wide open, and why not prepare him for the letdown when you find a real Stud Charming next weekend? Anyways, what else we got here... 'You must know how much I miss you, my Pudding.' -- Eh, it's all right, I'm still not sold on the last-name-talk, but whatever. 'The weeks we've spent apart have felt like an eternity to me, and I am desperate to see you again.' -- Wow, Sparks, melodramatic much? Or are you quoting a poem or something? -- 'I ache to be in your warm embrace once more, to feel our bodies pressed together against the cold of the world.' -- That's nice, but getting a bit clingy here, I'd say -- 'Oh, my Huckleberry, when next we meet, I need you..."

Lily trailed off, her mouth dropping open. After a moment's pause, she lifted her eyebrows, licked her lips and restarted the aborted sentence. "... 'Oh, my Huckleberry, when next we meet, I need you to buck me in half.'"

Eyes widening, she cleared her throat and continued.

Artemis hung on every word, trying to gauge her reaction.

"...Ahem, 'I want to ride you wildly from dusk to dawn, and then back to dusk again. We shall make the bugbear with two backs, my gossamer wings wrapped around your firm haunches, until you have so filled me with your seed that your stones ache and the hay is drenched in my liquid heat. Then you shall recline on fresh bedding and take your rest; I will lie at your hindquarters and devour your hot poker like the delicious lollipop it is...'"

She broke off and looked up at Artemis, confused. "... Sparks, did you write this all by yourself?!"

The pegasus eagerly shook her head. "Oh, no! Sergeant Ebonshield helped me with this part yesterday."

It really had been nice of her to lend a hoof. For someone whose first language wasn't Equestrian, the sarge sure helped her put things in the right words.

Glamerspear nodded slowly, but that answer didn’t seem to have satisfied her. "Oooo-kayyy…”

“'... I will lie at your hindquarters and devour your hot poker like the delicious lollipop it is, licking and sucking at it, and enveloping your walnuts in my feathers, until I have extracted every last savory drop'..."

As she read, appearing more and more surprised with every word, Artemis held her hooves in her teeth, nervous.

"... 'By then, I shall be so ravenous for dessert, but your loins will be so completely emptied, that you will have no choice but to hold me down with your mighty forehooves, press your snout against my alley and, with your long pink taster, delve into the ocean of my flower and give me the release I so desperately crave. If my shrieks of pleasure should inflame your passions once more, then I will not object even in the slightest if you flip me over and find yourself at my cellar-door. Knock stoutly and enter inside with rough abandon, my love, and I will greet your firmness with open-mouthed delight as I agonizingly welcome you into the cramped depths of my ecstasy.'"

Glamerspear took a deep breath before reading the final paragraph. "... 'Oh, Huckleberry, my sweet beloved, how wickedly and how gluttonously I crave you, how I wish to gorge myself and feel all of you inside me. Please, do not let me starve without your stout attentions for much longer. Let us rejoice in each others' company before my passions drive me mad. With the tender kisses, your dearest little Lightning-Shower.'"

‘Well?’

‘Did she like it?’

The look of shock on Lily’s face told Artemis nothing, nor the way she slowly, almost reverently, floated the letter down onto the coffee-table before her.

"... Wow. I think that was the filthiest love-letter I've ever read."

‘Oh, no!’

"So it's no good?"

Glamerspear laughed. "Oh, it's good, all right. Tartarus, you had me buzzing at the horn a bit, and I'm not even the target audience." She looked over at Artemis. "This thing is so sordid, Sparks, I can't believe you're not nursing at least a half-wingboner right now."

The pegasus’ wings were still comfortably folded against her body, and she shrugged, almost embarrassed at not feeling aroused. "I guess I've read and re-read it so many times it doesn't really have that effect on me any more."

The pink unicorn chuckled. "Well, any colt'd have to be six hooves underground for it not to have an effect on 'em, but I mean, if you asked me how to prop up your long-distance-relationship, I woulda suggested something different."

‘She would have?’

‘Am I going about this all the wrong way?’

‘Was Sergeant Ebonshield mistaken when she said that a raunchy letter was the best way to patch things up with Huckleberry?’

"... I mean, don't get me wrong, the letter's great..."

‘Oh, good!’

"... But colts are kinda... visual, you know? Words can evoke the kinda mental images they need to get their Jennets rustled, sure, but actual pictures can go a real quarter-mile further, ya know what I mean?"

‘Pictures?’

Before Artemis could ask for clarification, Lily threw off her body towel and scrambled over to where the pegasus was sitting, placing one foreleg down on the card-table as she leaned over almost sideways in front of Artemis, wearing a sinister smile.

"You know anypony who owns a camera, Sparks?"

The pegasus was feeling a little confused. "Sure... I know me, and I own a camera, a 'Little Ludwig' number 2, model D."

Glamerspear's smile broadened. "Perfect. Take some photos, then."

Artemis furrowed her brow and turned slightly away, unsure of what Lily was going to propose. "What do you mean? What kind of photos?"

The unicorn leaned in close, almost muzzle-to-muzzle, just like Ebonshield did when she was talking seriously. "Photos of you, silly Sparksy."

The hapless country mare was even more confused now than ever, and she recoiled a little, if only to get away from Lily’s imposingly pointy snout. "But... Huckleberry already has photos of me... and photos of us."

Glam just laughed. "Oh, sure! Photos of you in your Royal Guard parade dress, or together at the county fair, or at school graduation, or sitting down for dinner, things like that, in nice pretty frames hanging on the wall or propped up on his bedside table?"

The laughter stopped, and she shook her head. "I'm not talking about those kinds of photos, Sparks. I'm talking about the kind of hot pictures he'll keep hidden away at the bottom of his bedside table's drawer, underneath an old sock with a musty smell to it."

‘That's uncanny!’

‘How could she know Huckleberry had one of those in there?’

Before she could ponder the question further, Lily leaned sharply in even closer, taking up the slack space Artemis had created. From the force of her movement, Lily’s towel head-wrap partially unraveled itself and draped down next to her cheek, waving side-to-side at the edge of the pegasus’ vision.

"I'm talking about you, Sparkshower, on your bed in there, facing away from the camera, muzzle down, plot up, tail to the side, wings spread, forelegs spread, hind legs spread, and wearing nothing but a smile."

‘Oh, hurricanes!’

Her eyes went wide as Lily carried on. "Or maybe lying on your side, from behind, with your back slightly arched and your wings splayed out, looking back at the camera with smouldering eyes."

Artemis felt a sudden heat in her cheeks, and there was a muffled thud as one of her wings bumped into the other card-table chair.

"Or on your back, everything completely wide open and your forehooves gathered up at your chest, with a look on your face that says, 'please be gentle' and a confidence that says, 'but not too gentle.'"

‘Tornadoes!’

It was all too much; she had to take a few deep breaths and shut her eyes for a moment.

When she opened them again, Glamerspear was sitting beside her at the table, with the letter lying back in front of her.

"...Those are the kind of photos I'm talking about..." Lily tapped a hoof on the paper. "... Include a few scandalous prints in the envelope with this, and I guarantee you that your colt'll come galloping to Canterlot with a package so stiff he won't be able to sit down on the Friendship Express without poking himself in the eye."

‘Goodness!’

‘That's... actually... kind of exactly what I want.’

"But... if I'm in the photos, then who'll operate the camera? The model D hasn't got a timer."

She certainly couldn't ask her father to take photos like that! Or any colt at all, actually!

Glamerspear waved a hoof dismissively in the air. "Oh, I'll help you out, marefriend. I've done this sort of stuff before."

‘Really?’

"Gosh, Lily, thanks a lot!"

The unicorn grinned. "No problem, Sparks. Why don'tcha trot into the shower and get yourself looking all nice and pretty while I finish toweling off."

"Okay!" Artemis got up, nearly knocking over the empty chair with her wings before she forced them to fold back up.

As she headed towards the washroom, however, the hallway door opened. Corporal Bound stepped in and fixed the pegasus in her gaze. "Sparkshower. Get suited up in your armor, you're on deck."

Reaching into her saddlebag, she pulled out a small envelope. "This is the Royal Engineer's calling-card, along with some notes on what to say. You're going to deliver the card to Major General Hoofstrong at the Canterlot Sector Air Defense Headquarters and set up the meeting to discuss his airspace needs."

‘Snow-squalls!’

Looks like her photo session with Lily would have to wait a little longer...

Next Chapter: Chapter 90 Estimated time remaining: 19 Hours, 22 Minutes