Artemis Sparkshower

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It was almost seven o'clock. Sparkshower had been waiting, fully armed and armored, for almost three hours now. Where had Corporal Bound gotten off to with the Royal Engineer? His chambers had been empty when she'd come down to report in for her shift at four.

Glamerspear had no idea what was going on, and not even Lieutenant Violetta could unearth their location after Artemis had gone to her. With the crush of public visitors to the palace for the seasonal weekend Day Court, keeping track of ponies was almost impossible. The only thing anypony seemed able to determine was that they hadn't checked out of the palace, and that they'd been visiting various departments in the palace throughout the day.

It seemed likely that they were probably still off in some deep library or store-room, since the Royal Engineer was supposedly on some kind of scavenger hunt for various items. After six o'clock had come around, Lieutenant Vi had told Artemis to just wait around in their shared upstairs quarters for Corporal Bound to relieve her. And so she'd just been there, waiting, ready to leap into action once her team leader returned.

The door was left open, and she could hear more hoofsteps approaching. It was probably just some other servant making their way somewhere. Artemis was starting to go a little bit crazy from all the various other ponies walking by.

Suddenly, Corporal Bound walked in, still in her armor, with her collapsible short-spear holstered on her back.

"Corporal! Is the Royal Engineer downstairs? I'll report in for duty right away!"

Honour closed the door behind her. "Don't bother, Sparkshower. Evening shift is cancelled for today. We've got an early morning tomorrow."

Her shift was cancelled? She was almost a little disappointed.

"Okay. Lieutenant Violetta told us about the field day tomorrow."

Honour walked into the washroom and fetched herself a glass of water. Sparkshower saw her paw at the straps of her helmet to lift it up off her brow. There was a lot of sweat underneath there. Refilling her cup, Honour took another drink.

She must have been tired.

"Where were you, Corporal? I was supposed to relieve you three hours ago."

Corporal Bound scratched behind her neck. As she looked over at the pegasus, Artemis could see a contented smile on her face. That was something she hadn't seen before.

"Sorry for dropping out of contact, Sparkshower. The Royal Engineer was galloping all over the palace, and rather than try to coordinate tagging you in, I decided just to stick with him."

Was she smiling from the satisfaction of a job well-done? Artemis could understand that.

Honour took a deep breath. "... I haven't even had anything to eat since before my shift started."

'What?! She didn't even get a lunch break? That's one of the three most important meals of the day!'

"He didn't even invite you to take lunch with him?!"

She laughed.

That was another new one.

"No, he never stopped for lunch himself."

An eleven-hour shift, with no lunch break, and she was smiling and laughing about it? 'It must be earth pony magic,' Sparkshower supposed. Endurance and strength were the natural qualities of that species of pony.

Honour started to undo the straps around her criniere. "... He's a real workaholic. No wonder he managed to wear out Glamerspear."

Artemis shook her head. The creaking of her helmet visor reminded her that she still had her armor on. She didn't need it anymore, so she started to pull it off as well. "What did you even do that whole time?"

Corporal Bound left the washroom and stopped in the common room, disrobing alongside her.

"Mostly visiting various departments and ministries, getting documents and tools for tomorrow's mission. What with Day Court today, there were a lot of lineups to deal with."

Midway through removing her flanchard, she furrowed her brow.

"--Especially over at the supply depot. Seemed like somepony was putting together a last-minute field operation for a whole platoon, and they were going all-out on requisitions."

Honour shrugged. "... Anyways, it's got nothing to do with us. Where's Glamerspear?"

"She got tired of waiting for you to get back about half an hour ago, and left to go flirt with Captain Mailedhoof and then get dinner. She's probably at the mess hall by now."

"Let me just hop in the shower and then we'll join her."

Artemis nodded. "Here, I'll put away your gear, Corporal."

"Thanks, Sparkshower."

Honour gave her a smile before turning and making her way back into the washroom. Gathering up her armor pieces, Artemis opened the door to the Corporal's room and hung everything up on the little wooden armor-rack she had set up in the corner. With that, Artemis headed off to her own room to stow her armor as well.

Returning to the common area, her task completed, Artemis sat on the sofa before picking up Glamerspear's copy of 'Cosmoponitan.' The cover featured a slinky photograph of Sapphire Shores.

'Catching Up With The Princess of Pop'

'Wow, those striped socks really do something for her flanks.'

'What to Do When Your Colt Gets All Quiet'

That one hit a little too close to home.

'The Best Workout For Your Teats'

'What?! That's a thing?'

'Clop Tips So Hot You'll Get Turned On Just Reading Them'

'Oh, my.'

Those big-city magazines sure were scandalous. Even her 'Canterlot Match' magazine had some racy articles in it.

... Maybe she'd ask Glamerspear to borrow it later.

As she put the magazine back down on the coffee table, she heard the Corporal turn off the shower and get out. Waiting for her to dry off, Artemis' mind started to wander to Glamerspear's pronouncements yesterday. There was still something that Honour never really explained to Sparkshower.

"Corporal? Can I ask you a personal question?"

She opened the door, still toweling off her head, a friendly look on her face. "Sure, Sparkshower, what's on your mind?"

Artemis licked her lips.

"What Glamerspear said yesterday, about why most guardsponies sign up for VIP duty... is it true?"

Her smile disappeared. "You mean about them all being players or, how'd she put it..."

The words came instantly to Artemis' mind. "'Old grumps who are fed up with the regular guard life'."

Honour paused for a moment.

"...I'm sorry, Corporal."

Honour shook her head at Artemis. "Never apologize for providing accurate intelligence, soldier."

"Yes, Corporal."

Walking back inside the washroom, she hung up her towel on the rack. "But to answer your question... She's not completely right, but she's not far from wrong, either. I wouldn't say her two reasons are even the majority, but it's true that many veterans who are tired of the do-nothing routine of the Royal Guard sign up for VIP duty hoping to get eventually hired out as private bodyguards."

She returned to the common area with a bundle of hair-ties before sitting down next to the Specialist and started to bundle up her mane. "... Myself included."

"Oh."

"The truth is, I've been bored of the Guard since shortly after leaving 'shoe camp. I joined the VIP service a year and a half ago because I wanted to get out into the private service."

Her mane finished, she set to work on her tail as well.

"... But from my experiences so far, being a private bodyguard is probably just as bad, if not worse. You get treated like dirt, you mostly stand around doing nothing or trotting around looking impressive for airhead nobles, and you have to keep your personal life a complete secret from your employer -- they want to think, and they want everypony else to think, that you're some hot single at their beck and call."

Artemis shook her head. "That doesn't sound very fun at all."

"No. But I have to admit, today wasn't like that. Galloping around with the Royal Engineer, actually doing things, gave me some hope that maybe there are some good postings out there."

As Honour paused in her work, Artemis saw her smile return.

"... He clearly doesn't think of us as 'decorations' like most VIPs. He told me what he was doing. He asked me for advice. He gave me actual work to do. It felt like we were actually working on something important together."

She lifted her eyebrows and looked up at Artemis. "... And you should have heard the way he talked with the Princess -- you can tell they really respect each other."

Bending back over, she finished tying up her mane. When it was done, she hopped off the couch with an energy that Artemis hadn't seen in her since they'd first met three days ago.

"... Now come on, let's hit the chow hall. I'm starving."

'Yay, dinner!'

"Okay!"

As the two mares left their quarters together, Artemis looked over at the leader of their detachment. It really seemed like her day, though tiring, had worked wonders to cheer her up. If one pony could have a good time trotting around the palace doing actual work with Anonymous, what was it going to be like tomorrow when all three of them were helping him out? Think of the things they'd accomplish together! Dinner first, then bed, and then they'd be out in the field.

The recruitment slogans were starting to come true after all.

'Equestrian Royal Guard: It's Not Just a Job, It's An Adventure!'

---

Suggested interlude video: US Navy TV advertisement from 1981, "Navy. It's Not Just a Job, It's an Adventure"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sut-QJLfm4g

Next Chapter: Chapter 13 Estimated time remaining: 35 Hours, 42 Minutes