I walked outside, taking in the first breath of fresh air I had gotten in... I didn't even know how long. Behind me, I saw Sam basking in her new freedom as well, even as Twilight's friends watched us like we were crazy.

However, my focus wasn't fully on the Mane Five. My focus was on Shining, who walked out with a much more somber expression. In his hands were countless Faust idols; no doubt belonging to the soldiers who fell at the hands of the queens demonic children. As I walked over to him, I noticed names engraved on each of them. Shining Armor's face contorted with despair as he held the idols to his chest.

"How many?" I asked.

"Fifty-seven," Shining mumbled, tightening his grip on the chains. "We lost fifty-seven good soldiers to this raid."

I lowered my head. Part of me wanted to apologize... but what good is 'I'm sorry' for such a loss? Shining Armor probably trained those fifty-seven soldiers himself. They were probably just as much his family as Twilight and Cadence.

"Well," Sam replied. "Come on, guys. The sooner we kill this bitch, the sooner we get to go home." Sam started to turn away, before a thought turned her back to me. "Um... how are we getting there?"

"Well, Shining's horn is broken," I replied, "Which means we're probably walking to the nearest train." I lifted my hand, blocking the rising sun. "And I can guess that's gonna mean a ride with both of us getting stared at." Sam groaned.

"Great... come on, Jacob, you know I don't do trains!" Sam complained.

I cursed. "That's right; motion sickness," I remembered.

"We could always take the Delta," Shining replied, walking around the hive. "I parked it as close as I could."

"You parked it close?" I asked, racing after him. "I swear to God, if you..." My voice didn't even get the chance to die in my throat. Sam shoved me out of the way, catching sight of the Delta as it came into view.

"No way!" Sam screamed, practically teleporting around the - thankfully unharmed - vehicle as she took it in. "A 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88 Royale?! How in God's Great Earth did you get this car... in this world?"

"The Merchant," I replied. Sam raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "He said I could have it if I promised to protect this world."

Sam chuckled, gazing at the car in awe. "He drove a hard bargain, didn't he?" she noted.

"That he did," I admitted, heading to the trunk and putting my chainsaw in the back. I added Shining's swords on top, and crossed to the driver's seat. Shining was trying to get into the passenger seat, but stopped when he saw me glaring at him.

"Backseat, Shining," I said, pointing to the back. "We're not heading to the capital just yet."

Shining rolled his eyes and moved to the back, while Sam happily settled into the passenger seat with an excited laugh.

At the last second, I remembered the five mares outside. Rolling down my window, I grinned out at them.

"I can give you ladies a ride to Ponyville, but I only have room for two," I said.

Before I could even finish, Rarity practically teleported into the remaining seat.

"Rarity!" Pinkie complained.

"Sorry, darlings," Rarity said, taking out a makeup kit and dabbing at her mascara.

"RARITY!!" Rainbow complained, nearly knocking angrily on the window before a death glare from me made her back off. For my sake, Rarity rolled down the window to argue with her friend.

"The sun is coming out and I can already feel sweat forming," Rarity snapped. "My makeup takes priority above all else."

As Rainbow continued to argue with her, they failed to notice the pink haired one - Fluttershy, I think - silently walk around the car. With a doe-eyed look to Shining, he opened the door, and she took the final seat. She gazed around the interior with an awed look.

"Yay," she whispered.

"Alright," I declared, as Rainbow Dash threw her hands up in defeat, and she, Applejack and Pinkie started the trek home. "Next stop? Ponyville!" I rolled up the window and looked back at the ponies. "You might want to fasten your seat belts"

"Seat what?" Rarity asked.

"It's this" Shining clarified, showing them his belt. "It works like a bungee jumping harness."

With his aid, the two mares figured out how to fasten their seat belts. The two 'click's almost sounded like music.

"This vehicle goes pretty fast," Shining added. "I learned that the hard way when Ash stopped it without warning."

"Oh... my," Fluttershy mumbled, looking like she was starting to reconsider taking the Delta.

Her expression faltered even more when I turned the key and the engine roared to life. Even Rarity yelped in fear.

"Oh, Celestia!" Rarity stammered. "Was that a dragon?! A manticore?! A..."

"Quit screaming like little children!" Sam snapped, silencing the two. "It's just the engine, what's wrong with...?"

"Sam!" I shouted. "They don't have stuff like this. Like I said, I only got it from the Merchant." With Sam sated, I looked back at the two quivering mares apologetically. "Sorry for not warning you. But I promise, this baby's completely harmless."

"It... It's okay," Fluttershy stuttered, thought she seized one of Shining's Faust idols and held it to her chest. She noticed the name, and her frown deepened from fear to sadness. "Oh, no..." she mumbled. "Iron Gear?" She lowered her head to the idol. "He was so nice..."

"You knew Iron Gear?" Shining asked.

"Not really," Fluttershy admitted. "But he gave me his shield. He was so kind." She handed the idol back to Shining.

Meanwhile, I pulled away from the hive and spun towards Ponyville. Just as we passed Appleloosa, something caught my vision. I stopped the car, drawing attention from the others.

"Something wrong, Jacob?" Sam asked.

"Nothing's wrong," I replied, stepping out of the car. "Just... need to get something."

"In the middle of nowhere?" Rarity asked.

I didn't reply, heading to what had caught my attention. Bringing it back, I revealed what I had found: a pair of broken horns.

Shining gasped. "Wait... aren't those...?"

"The horns of Tirek," I said with a grin, dumping them into the trunk before returning to the driver's seat. "I want a trophy to remember him by after I blow his brains out with my boomstick."

Rarity flinched, and not just from the engine starting up or me peeling out again.

"Must you always be so violent?" Rarity asked in irritation.

"Well, let's see," I said, listing off his crimes on one hand. "He kidnapped the princess, stepped on my arm with his massive cloven hoof and slammed me into the ground." I turned back to Rarity, who glared out the window in defeat. "I'd say that is the right amount of violence."

She sighed. "Ruffian..." she muttered under her breath.

I chuckled. "It's cute that you think that bothers me," I noted, reaching for the radio, and letting the soothing sound of Evanescence fill the car.

"Eww," Sam protested. "I hate this song!" With a yank of the dial, she soon had the percussion of AC/DC's 'Highway to Hell' blasting through the radio.

I gave her a glare, before switching back to Evanescence. She glowered at me.

"Jacob, you know I hate Evanescence," Sam said, reaching for the dial. I gripped her wrist.

"What's Rule Number Three?" I asked, glaring at her.

Sam exhaled before pulling her arm away. "You're the DJ," she muttered. "You control the music." She crossed her arms. "I hate it when you drive. You always make up these stupid rules."

"You'll get over it," I replied, as I gunned the engine and let the Delta and Evanescence's voice carry us to Ponyville.

Celestia stood on the balcony to the Hive. Once, the room the balcony went to might've belonged to Queen Chrysalis.

Now, however, it belonged to her. Princess Celestia.

"Princess!" Announced a pegasus guard, gaining Celestia's attention.

"Did you find her, Gale Storm?" Celestia asked with concern. "Were you able to find Twilight?"

The guard bowed his head in despair. "I'm afraid not, your Majesty."

Before Celestia could voice her disappointment, a pair of unicorns dragged in a severely injured Changeling. His horn was snapped off at the base, his wings were ripped from his back, and cuts littered his body. When he looked up, she saw one eye gouged out, the socket dripping green and black blood.

"We did manage to nab one," one of his unicorns captors said, throwing the changeling at the Princess' feet. "Got it right before it could disappear with the rest of them."

Celestia smiled grimly. Reaching into the folds of her robes, she produced a silver object.

"Excellent work, Gale Storm," Celestia said, before tossing the silver object to the pegasus. Gale Storm caught it, and stared down at the object with shock.

"This... is..." he stuttered, blinking as he beheld the badge of the Captain of the Royal Guard.

"Shining Armor has resigned from the Royal Guard," Celestia said. "We're going to need a reliable replacement... Captain Storm."

Gale Storm swallowed, the title sounding odd on his ears. He managed a quick bow/nod before springing to a salute. Celestia turned to the changeling, her smile growing colder.

"Now," Celestia declared. "I wish to be alone with the Changeling. Teleport back to Canterlot. I will return with further instructions soon."

Gale Storm swallowed. "A-As your new Captain, Princess, I must advise... it's still a changeling."

"It's horn and wings are broken," Celestia pointed out, as the changeling glared up at her with it's one working eye. "Flying and magic are out of the question, and its shapeshifting would be pointless at this time."

Gale Storm still gave the changeling a nervous look. "But..."

"This is not up for debate, Captain Storm," Celestia growled, her voice making the new captain back up with a shiver. "I am 'ordering' you to take what soldiers we have left and return to Cantorlot."

"A-At once," Gale Storm said with a quick bow. Then, he ushered the two unicorns out.

Leaving the changeling with the Princess.

The changeling's defiant gaze narrowed as Celestia bore down on him, her smile fading into a sneer.

"Now," Celestia said. "Where did you bugs take Twilight?"

The changeling cackled.

"You might as well kill me," he replied. "It'll be easier than getting me to betray my Queen."

Celestia's eyes narrowed, only for one to shut as he spat at her.

"Once our queen kills the tainted Alicorn," he continued. "We changelings will rule this planet once more."

Celestia merely wiped the spit from her face. Smirking, she seized the changeling by the neck, a magic aura enveloping her hand in a golden sheen.

The changeling's grin faded as the carapace around his neck grew red hot. Smoke began to hiss from his flesh. At first, the changeling tried to resist. He hissed and squirmed as she burned into his neck. His eyes widened as her mane began to shift from a gentle green, blue and pink aurora to orange red and yellow flames.

Finally, unable to bear it, his jaws parted, and he wailed his agony to the stars. Celestia smiled in sheer sadistic pleasure, before slamming his head into the balcony.

"Where!" Celestia boomed, smashing his head with every word. "Is. She?!"

Something caught her eye. She turned, grimacing at the shadows of night. With another flare of her horn, she lifted the morning sun, illuminating...

Her eyes narrowed. Ash Williams was walking out. Followed by another like him. The Element Bearers followed them out, and the rear of their little group was brought up by Shining Armor.

Celestia's grip tightened. The changeling tried to scream, but the heat of Celestia's hand welded his throat shut. He feebly kicked and hit at her arm, only burning himself, as she glowed with fiery rage.

"Armor," Celestia seethed. "You were supposed to be in jail!" Her slowly darkening eyes turned to Ash. "And you..."

Her other hand gripped the railing, causing it to melt as her knuckles turned white.

"You. Were. Supposed... To..." Celestia said through clenched teeth. "DIE!!!"

As she screamed, 'die,' her body changed: her coat turned pale white. Her teeth sharpened into fangs. Her mane and tail ignited into flames. Her eyes turned orange; the pupils slitting like a dragon or a cat.

But just as quickly as the nightmarish version of her appeared... it vanished just as fast.

Taking a breath, Celestia gazed down at the railing. She blinked in shock; the railing had melted. Pooling on the ground in molten bubbles.

Stepping back from the mess, Celestia tried to turn to the changeling... only to find herself holding a hunk of ashes. The changelings' body had hit the ground, it's head rolling away. Her grip had burned right through his neck.

"Faust above..." Celestia mumbled, clutching her head as she felt a sense of light-headedness. "This... place must be messing with my emotions."

Trying to shake the shudder in her heart, she flared her magic and teleported to Canterlot Castle.

A few hundred miles and many songs later, I finally caught sight of Ponyville in the distance.

"I must say," Rarity commented with a smile. "This is quite an impressive mode of transportation: able to travel at such impressive speeds, keeping us cool... And it has the ability to play various forms of music." She smiled at me. "You have my utmost gratitude for giving us this privilege, Mr. Williams."

"Thanks," I replied with a grin of my own. "The Delta is a great car."

"Any particular band you enjoyed?" Sam asked, glancing back at the mare curiously.

Rarity hummed, frowning in thought. "Well, I don't suppose I'll ever be a fan of... what was that band? 'Slayer?'" Her eyes brightened. "But I will say that 'Evanescence' group is just a delicacy for the ears."

Sam rolled her eyes with a groan, before Fluttershy lifted her hand like she was in class.

"Um, I... I liked it as well," Fluttershy said softly.

Sam groaned even louder and leaned her head forward. "Back-ass-ward ponies..." she muttered, softly enough that only I heard. "... Wouldn't know good music if it hit them in the back of their heads."

I lowered the volume. "Why don't you say that again," I offered. "I don't think they heard you."

Sam didn't even turn to me, but her tone was cut through with defeat. "I hate you."

I just grinned. "No, you don't," I replied, increasing the volume as I decreased my speed. Because we were entering Ponyville.

Now, while most would perceive me as a unbearable asshole, I will not have it be said I am not without manners. I turned back to Fluttershy.

"So, Miss Shy," I offered. "You went me to drop you off at your home?"

"Oh! That's alright," Fluttershy replied. "The Delta might scare my animal friends. Y-You can drop me off at Rarity's... if you want." She hid behind her mane. "A-And you can just call me Fluttershy..." she squeaked. "A-Again... just if you want to."

"Very well," I said. "And you can call Ash or Will if you want." I glanced at Rarity. "Never was too fond of being called Mr. Williams." My grip tightened on the wheel. "After all," I grumbled. "That's what everyone called my father."

Sam glanced at me like she wanted to make a wisecrack, but decided against it. And for a moment, silence reigned as I brought the Delta to a full stop in front of Rarity's home/workplace.

"Thank you for the ride, Mr... Ash," Fluttershy said, stepping out and giving me a bow. "It was... nice."

"So much better than riding the train," Rarity agreed, stepping out with a flip of her hair.

"Anytime," I replied, giving them a two-fingered salute before pulling away from the boutique. Sam glared at me.

"How come you don't talk to be like that?" Sam asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" I asked, giving her a half smile. "They're women, and you..."

She tilted her head, a spark entering her eyes. "I'm what?"

"...you're just a bitch."

The spark immediately left her eyes. She slugged me in my arm, but she couldn't stop herself from laughing.

"You're an asshole!" she said through her chuckles. "Such a asshole!"

"Just like old times?" I asked, driving towards the Castle of Friendship.

"I'm not talking to you," Sam replied. But though she turned away, I could see her smile reflected in the window.

"Hey Ash," Shining Armor asked. "Why are we heading towards my sister's castle?"

"Call me crazy," I replied. "But last time I checked, Twilight had this little dragon with her that can send letters to the princesses."

"Spike?" Shining asked. "Yeah, that's him."

I stopped in front of the castle. "So, I figured you'd want to inform your wife that you're heading home and she should meet us there with a couple beers in her hand."

Shining blinked at me, before exiting the car. "Wow, you really are an 'asshole Ash."

"I consider it one of my most redeeming qualities," I replied with a shrug.

Rolling his eyes, Shining sighed and headed into Twilight's castle. And for now, Sam and I were left alone in the Delta.

"So...." Sam began.

Uh, oh. I knew that voice. The voice that shouted how much she wanted to know something. A voice that irritated me to no end. I shut the radio off.

"What is it Sam?" I asked.

"What's the deal with you and the Princess of Friendship?" she replied.

"She read from the Necronomicon," I explained. "And the deadites and changelings caught her and tried to start a ritual. I stopped them, but they managed to get these markings of Summarian text all over her coat. And until we get everything straightened out, in short I'm her bodyguard."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "That all?"

I raised my eyebrow. "Pretty much."

Sam still didn't look convinced. But before I could ask what she was getting at, the front doors of Twilight's castle slammed open with a BOOM!

Princess Cadence stood in the doorway. And despite supposedly being the Princess of Love, she looked more like she was ready to take the title for Princess of War. A aura flickered around her like she was about to transform into a super mode. Her eyes were narrowed with righteous fury. And Shining Armor stood before her - almost about to kneel - with the air of a man trying and failing to sate a wrathful goddess.

"Cadance, this isn't her fault!" Shining protested. "Please, let's just go home."

"She had you ARRESTED, Shining," Cadence boomed. "How is this NOT her fault!?"

"Shit," I muttered, jumping from the Delta. Despite Sam gasping at my idiocy; despite me knowing I was making easily the dumbest decision a guy could make - I got between the married couple.

"Woah Woah Woah!" I said. "Let's just breath for a second."

"Stand aside, Williams," Cadence growled, glaring at me with a fury that matched Hell AND every other woman scorned. "I won't ask again."

"Not until you promise you won't kill Celestia," I said, firmly as the stance I had taken. "She's still the ruler of Equestria. Your aunt! And during a time such as this, she is needed as a beacon of hope for others."

Confusion entered Cadence's glare. "You'd still defend her?" she demanded. "Even after everything she's said and done to you?"

"Don't get me wrong," I replied. "I may be 'defending' her, but I am in no way going to protect her." I motioned to the Delta. "Heck, I'll personally bring you to her."

Cadence's glare faded, but I could see the fires of war still burning in her core, and pointed to her warningly.

"But I'm driving you there," I said. "And you better take that time to mellow out."

"Please Cadance," Shining practically begged from behind me. "Don't do anything we'll regret."

Cadence fumed, looking more like she wanted to teleport to Canterlot and kick Celestia across Equestria. However, after a very-VERY tense pause, she let out a breath. Her aura faded, and she walked past me and Shining, stepping into the backseat of the Delta. She didn't even comment on Sam's appearance, while Sam herself glanced at me and back to Cadence with confusion.

Shining sighed. "This is going to be a long drive," he mumbled. "Isn't it?"

"Extremely long," I agreed. "Regrettably."

I flinched as Sam offered her hand to Cadence. The alicorn glared at her hand before taking it... and promptly crushing it, eliciting a shriek of pain from my friend. I winced.

"And awkward," I finished, returning to the car with Shining behind me. I got it as Sam shook feeling back into her arm, watching as it regenerated.

"Son of an emerald whore!" Sam swore, turning to me. "What is up with this B...?"

I covered her mouth before she could speak. Sam glowered at me, but I could feel Cadence's glare on my back. And honestly, I preferred Sam's anger to what I was rapidly starting to consider the Princess of War.

"Start driving, Williams" Cadance ordered.

"As you wish, Princess," I said. Turning the Delta towards Canterlot, I turned to the radio, hoping for the calmest, most soothing music I could find.

Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman Scorned

Celestia is in for it now

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