A Midnight Legends Press Production  

Charmingly Rustic

Written By: Your Antagonist & Starwind Dood

Edited By: TheWattsMan

Epilogue(s)

        "Istallion Roast, please," Fleur de Lis ordered.

        "At once, madam," the waiter replied, shuffling away.

        It had been a couple of weeks since she broke ties with Fancy Pants after that almost fateful article appeared in the newspaper, and her life was almost back in order, aside from a lack of a love life, even with dealing with Photo Finish's spiteful eccentricities. She magically levitated the morning paper before her, hoping to get her mind off of herself.

        "Your coffee, madam," the waiter interrupted her.

        "Oh, thank you." Fleur de Lis took the cup, taking a sip as she read the headline of the paper. Sapphire Shores Serenades Same-Sexes With New Hit Single. She spat out her coffee, drenching her waiter. "I-I apologise," Fleur de Lis quickly said as she scanned the article, finding a picture of Fancy Pants and the red stallion he was with before in the middle of a rather deep kiss. "He never kissed me like that," she mused. "Can I get a refill on this?"

        "At once, madam," the water winced, trying to maintain an image of professionalism despite his now coffee-splattered mane and apron.

        Fleur de Lis returned to the article, detailing the events of the concert from the huge turnout from the LGBT communities across Equestria, and the entire thing was free and open to the public. "Sapphire is as mad as ever," Fleur de Lis commented, only for the next line to read that, the following morning, Sapphire Shores' CDs were sold out across the world. "Mad and brilliant."

        Her eyes wandered back to the picture of Fancy Pants and Big Macintosh, their kiss captured for eternity. "I guess you always were one to bounce back, Fancy Pants." She found that, with so much time between then and now, her rage had evaporated quickly. So quickly she even regretted some of the things she said against him. Still, it was a game she had to play with Photo Finish to continue her career. She doubted that anypony within the fashion industry would find fault in what she had to do since they've all had to say something at some point they came to regret. "I suppose they do look good together."

Sapphire Shores currently found herself in a carriage in the heart of the Zebra Kingdom. This was her first time being so far way from home since her tour on the continent of Neighsia, and she was absolutely enthralled to perform in front of a foreign crowd again, as well as the opportunity to debunk some “rumors” about stallions from the zebra continent first-hoof. She looked out the window and spotted a particularly delicious specimen and playfully licked her lips in anticipation. Maybe they are “bigger” over here, I guess I’ll find out tonight, She thought to herself.

Turning away from the window, her eyes fell on the most recent issue of the Canterlot Chronicler which had a picture of Fancy Pants and Big Macintosh kissing, and a sudden impulsive thought rushed through her mind. I wonder if I could play on the other side of the fence... Her eyes fell on her agent who was snout-deep in a stack of contracts and papers. Sapphire stood up and moved to the other side of the carriage to sit with her agent, who wore her mane in a ponytail as well as a pair of librarian glasses. The diva watched her assistant quite intently, waiting for some form of acknowledgement.

The assistant finally felt Sapphire’s gaze upon her and turned to address her client. “Oh, I’m sorry Ms. Shores, did you need anythi—MMPH!” Sapphire had seized her agents head with her forehooves, and planted a long, intense kiss on the other mare’s lips, even probing the inside of her assistant's mouth slightly with her tongue. The kiss was held for about three seconds before the agent broke contact with Sapphire and stared in an appalled fashion at her client. “Wha... I... huh?”

Sapphire registered the sensations for  moment before responding “Oooooh, that was SE-E-EN- SATIONAL! But Sapphire Shores needs a stallion to quench her burning desire, baby.  Hope this doesn’t complicate things between us honey.”

The agent only wore a confused expression as she watched Sapphire dance back to the other side of the carriage and pass out sleeping. Wordlessly, the agent put all her papers in a briefcase, closed the blinds in the carriage, and walked over to sapphire before removing her glasses and the band holding her her hair in a ponytail, allowing her mane to fall straight as she said quietly, “Well, it’s only going to get more complicated from here, Ms. Shores.”

Photo Finish was finally discharged from Canterlot General Hospital a day after Sapphire Shores cleaned her clock at Fancy Pants’ Boutique. Photo’s snout wasn’t broken, but Sapphire had left a few fractures in the bone as a parting gift. It was a small matter to the photographer though; at least she’d gotten her model back from that wretched Fancy Pants, but she was disappointed that her efforts to ruin his image were all in vain after Sapphire Shores’ concert spread the message of same-sex tolerance. Fortunately, her reputation received no backlash.

With a sigh and a grimace, she remembered working with that disgusting, unwashed, coffee addicted pegasus, and—as much as it pained her to say it—she missed him. Normally Photo’s day-by-day routine consisted of yelling at sub-par models, incompetent lackeys and stressing herself out, leaving no time for fun. But her her short time with Hot Tip left her with a thirst for more adventure, and companionship.

“I suppose I should go and see ze foolishly foolish fool, e’s probably still in zat office wasting away on coffee—” Photo Finish ceased her thought as a handsome white Pegasus stallion strolled past her, and captivated her attention. “Zen again, zere’s nozing wrong with personal interest, ees there?” She inquired to nopony in particular as she galloped after him shouting “Vait, vait! You, who are you? You have— Ze Magicks! We go and grab coffee, yes?”

“Oh, well I’m—”

“Nevermind zat, we go!” Photo Finish grabbed the stallion’s tail with her mouth and dragged him away in the direction of a nearby cafe. Zat reporter can wait a little longer, I zink!

Hot Tip glared at the bathtub before him “Hello shower, we meet again. What’s it been now, four, maybe five days? Whatever, let’s just get this over with so I can get back to the office.” The gray pegasus reached and begrudgingly gripped the hot water handle and turned it up all the way, waiting to see the rise of steam before stepping into the searing hot waters.

Hot Tip’s bath tub wasn’t exactly pristine, but it wasn’t as filthy as the stallion who was about to utilize it either, however, the moment the searing waters touched his fur, the bottom of the tub was almost immediately coated in a gritty substance that resembled wet sand. He paid it no mind though as he stepped even deeper into the stream of water, allowing more of the filth to be removed from his fur. Ten minutes and two bottles of shampoo later, he emerged from the now mostly darkened tub and wandered over to the mirror, observing his coat’s normal white coloring.

After a visit to his wardrobe, he adorned himself with a clean white dress-shirt before heading to the kitchen and fetching himself a coffee thermos. With his precious brew in tow, he flew out his kitchen window and landed in the busy Canterlotian streets below, and began trotting his way to the Canterlot Chronicler main office. He strolled past the hospital, since it was on his usual route to the newspaper’s headquarters anyway, and ceased moving as somepony began calling to him from behind. “Vait, vait! You, who are you? You have— Ze Magicks! We go and grab coffee, yes?”

Hot Tip’s eyes fell on Photo Finish who looked as though she genuinely did not recognize him. His lips curled into a smirk, as he realized that she didn’t realize who he was due to the fact that his coat and feathers were no longer gray, and he attempted explain this to Photo before furthering the conversation. “Oh, well I’m—”

“Nevermind zat, we go!” Hot Tip was taken by surprise when Photo Finish seized his tail and began dragging him through the streets. With a grin slowly overtaking his face, he thought to himself, Maybe I’ll just keep it to myself for now... actually this could make a pretty good headline: Famed Fashionista Photo Finish Falls For Average Joe.  

Fancy Pants and Big Macintosh sneezed simultaneously, which warranted estranged stares and a slight chuckle from Applejack, which contributed more awkwardness to an already awkward situation.  Currently, Fancy Pants, Big Macintosh, Applejack and Rainbow Dash found themselves sitting around a picnic table absolutely filled up with some of the most delicious pastries to ever come out of the kitchen of the Apple family household, solely because Granny Smith was absolutely ecstatic to hear that both her grandson and granddaughter had finally found a significant other, respectively. The only problem was that Granny Smith was still under the pretense that Big Macintosh had gotten together with Rainbow Dash, and Applejack had snagged herself “one of them fancy noble types.”

Big Macintosh cleared his throat and look around at everypony else for reassurance, and the other three nodded. With a sigh he turned his attention to the beaming face of Granny Smith, who was still under the impression that the reason the mares were sitting on one side of the table and the stallions were on the other was so they could play footsies with their counterparts. “Ahem, uhh... Granny?” Big Macintosh said with a nervous inflection creeping into his tone.

“Yes, Mac? Would you and yer filly friend like some more Zap Apple Jam toast?”  Granny replied, still wearing that innocent smile.

Rainbow Dash cast an uncomfortable glance at Fancy Pants, who returned the look in full, before Applejack spoke up. “Umm, Granny, Rainbow Dash isn’t Big Mac’s fillyfriend.”

Granny Smith’s eyes narrowed and her grin fell slightly, but still maintained itself on her face. “What do you mean by that?”

Big Macintosh swallowed hard and attempted to shed some more light on the situation “Granny, Ah ain’t datin’  Rainbow Dash, and Apple Jack isn’t datin’ Mr. Pants over here.”

“So lemme git this straight, you two brought them,” Granny Smith gestured towards Fancy Pants and Rainbow Dash, “to me fer my approval on them datin’ each other? Land’s sakes kids, why would I care?”  

“That’s not quite right either Granny,” said Applejack as she rubbed her neck awkwardly.

“Wait a minute... If you ain’t with her...” Granny Smith gestured to Big Macintosh and Rainbow Dash, “And if you ain’t with him...” Granny Smith gestured to Applejack and Fancy Pants, “And you two ain’t getting hitched...” She now eyed Rainbow Dash and Fancy Pants suspiciously “Then that means...” Everypony at the table gulped hard as Granny Smith finally put the pieces to the puzzle together. A loud and exasperated gasp signified that Granny’s train of thought finally pulled into the station “Applejack, Big Macintosh, You cain’t fall in love with each other, it ain’t natural to reproduce with yer family!! Well, I guess it is, because yer cousin Caramel and—”

“Granny! Ah ain’t datin AJ! Ah’m datin’ him!” Big Macintosh pointed his hoof at Fancy Pants, and Applejack draped a foreleg around Rainbow Dash’s shoulder and pulled her in as well.

Granny Smith’s mouth hung open, still hanging on to the last word of the disturbing story of family inbreeding she was about to divulge. Everypony sat at the table in suspense, wondering how she would react.

After another moment of her stagnant silence, Granny Smith looked back and forth between the two couples, before finally turning to Rainbow Dash with narrowed eyes, saying “I always knew you were a filly-fooler, since the moment I saw yer mane.”

Rainbow Dash reacted immediately “Hey! What the buck is that supposed to mean, you old—” Applejack’s hoof had found its way into Rainbow’s mouth, silencing the cyan pegasus before she said anything that might’ve crossed Granny’s line.

“Granny, you’re okay with this?” Applejack asked

“I reckon it won’t be the first time it’s happened in this family, and it certainly won’t be the last. At least you ain’t gonna mount yer sister Mac, though I cain’t say I fancy the idea of you and another stallion too much either. I cain’t change who you are, but I can and will love and support yer decisions since you’re family. Sides, I was a filly-fooler when I was younger myself, must run in the family or somethin’. Guess that means Applebloom’s next on the choppin’ block; I’ve noticed she’s gettin’ awful friendly with that little orange pegasus...”

Epilogue End.