Searing marched up to Discord. "Discord, what's going on?"

"Hmm. . . It looks like the street is crawling with soldiers."

Searing looked back at the street, which couldn't actually be seen due to all the soldiers crawling across it. "No, not that. I thought I asked you for a surprise."

"Like what?"

"Oh, I don't know. Some kind of Spanish Inquisition?"

Discord looked around as nothing new happened, and he shrugged. "Well, what are you going to do about it?"

"Discord, why am I a stallion?"

"It's simple, Mr. Scorching Triumph," Discord said to the unamused unicorn. "It had to be done at some point. Anyways, enough of that, onwards!" With a snap, they disappeared.

Searing looked across the yard at the plants guarding her house and the oncoming zombie horde. She'd been holding them off for a few weeks that way, but there was no end to the invasions and the planting. "Wait, why am I doing this?" She asked before going out, lighting up her horn, and engulfing the encroaching zombies in fire, incinerating all of them. "There, that's better."

Elsewhere, Dr. Zomboss's dreams of obtaining a unicorn brain went up in smoke.

Searing approached a giant red and purple robot. "Excuse me, are you. . ." She looked at the notepad Discord had given her. "Alpha Trion?"

"Hm?" The old robot looked around. "Who said that?"

"Down here!" Searing waved her forelegs to get his attention.

Alpha Trion looked down. "Oh, there you are YYYYOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUNG WAAAAAAARRRRRIIIIIIIOOOOOOOR! Do you know where my soup is?"

"Huh? Wha. . . No, I just got sent here to get some of your wisdom."

"Oh. Well, I guess I can do that, Young Warrior. Heed these words, and hear them well. When the ketchup laughs at the rain, the tripod fish will write a song."

Searing wrote down the advice, then looked at it. "When the ketchup. . . Wait, what does this have to do with anything?"

"If a scorpion stings you on the finger, the rainbows will cry tears of jelly."

"I have hooves, you know."

"If the air smells of caramel, the donkeys will weep into the big dipper."

"I saw that once. I think it was an allergic reaction."

"A watched pot never boils, but if you throw it against a wall, it will make a hole."

Searing was able to glean a message. "Patience, got it."

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life, and Wednesday is the Thursday of last week's Tuesday."

"I, um. . . I think I have everything I need. Have a good day, Mr. Trion." Searing quickly left the robot.

"She was nice. And very small." Alpha Trion went back to looking for his soup.

"SUPER FIST OF THE NOSE HAIR!" A man with a blonde afro shouted before two long whip-like strands of hair came out of his nose and knocked away a whole bunch of bald foot soldiers and a pig.

"I'm not even going to try to figure this one out," Searing said to nobody.

Searing looked at the goth girl in front of her. Both of them were in a castle. "Who are you and why do I want to punch you in the face?"

The goth girl answered. "I am Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, and I-"

Searing punched her in the face. It felt like the right thing to do.

"Why are you sparkling?" Searing asked the. . . She hesitated to call him a man. He seemed more like a fairy.

"I am a vampire," Edward Cullen dramatically said. "It is part of who I am. It is-"

Searing pointed her horn at him and set him on fire. It felt like the right thing to do.

"Discord?"Searingaskedthroughgrittedteethfromherstuckposition.Shecouldn'tmoveaninch.
"Yes,Searing?"Discordaskedfromnexttoher.Hedidn'tseembotheredbythesituation.
"Whyisitsocrampedinhere?"
"There'snospace,that'swhy."
Searingsighedasmuchasshecould.Shewantedtobeabletomoveagain.

Searing busted through a door with two other people behind her, all three wearing nice red uniforms. "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" She shouted before pulling out a scroll. "You are hereby charged with heresy of the highest degree!"

"Do you have any idea who I am?" F*****g Horus demanded. "Do you have even a hint of the level of heresy I operate on?"

She had to stop once she realized the sheer size of who she was facing. "Uhhhhhh. . . ."

"I have pictures of ugly kittens. I like pineapple slices instead of sauce on my pizza. All pop music is good. Shotguns are not awesome, especially the pump and lever action ones. Bacon is disgusting. Fantasy is pointless and dull. I shower exclusively with cold water. I even eat Kit Kat bars without breaking them apart. Now, do you want me to continue, or should I just liquify you where you stand?"

Searing turned tail and ran. The heresy was too much for her to handle.

Later, she stood with her back against the wall. Vostroyan soldiers stood with rifles facing her. At the commissar's command, they fired.

The commissar looked at Searing, then turned to the soldiers. "How could you miss?"

"She moved," one of the soldiers said as they inspected their rifles and the bullet holes around Searing. Her aura hadn't been touched.

"Do it again. Ready. . ."

A messenger ran up. "Wait! Waaaaaiiiit!" He held out a sealed piece of paper.

The commissar accepted the paper. "An order? From Holy Terra?" He opened the message and read it out loud. "It says. . . carry on with the execution. Right. Ready! Fire!" The commissar looked at Searing again and held up his chainsword. "Fix bayonets! Charge!"

Searing ran instead of fighting. "Why did I think this was a good idea?"

Author's Notes:

Just a bunch of short scenes I came up with.