The people of Ponyville awoke to what they thought was the day before Cranky and Matilda’s wedding. This all changed upon receiving the mail from one Derpy Hooves.

“LULU, WAKE UP!” Chrysalis roared into the house.

“What do you want, Chrissy?” Luna asked blearily as she entered the living room.

“The wedding is today!” Chrysalis exclaimed.

“Today? I can’t remember the last time I slept a whole day away…” Luna muttered to herself.

“You didn’t! Someone got the dates mixed up!” Weddings were, unsurprisingly, a big deal for Changelings. The outpouring of love was something that simply couldn’t be missed. While the Changelings weren’t starving anymore and even Chrysalis’ holes were almost completely closed up, it was still a beautiful thing every Changeling was looking forward to.

“So who messed up? Is the wedding today and we’ve been told the wrong date until now or the other way around?” Luna wondered.

“Well, let’s go find Cranky and Matilda and ask what they’re going to do!” Chrysalis decided. A few moments later and the Changeling Queen and the Alicorn were out the door.

“This is a code red! Emergency! Emergency! We need all Arwings in the air now!” Discord shouted.

“How could this have happened?!” Pinkie yelled.

“I like Chaos just as much as the next Draconequus, but wedding day disasters are strictly in poor taste,” Discord huffed.

“We have so much to do! So much to get ready! I need to find Cranky and Matilda!” Pinkie cried. She opened the door to Sugar Cube Corner and was immediately greeted to the sight of a Bugbear, “Aw, snickerdoodles.”

“I’m such a fool!” Derpy lamented, “I had one job and I screwed it up!”

“To be fair, it was Featherweight who actually made the mistake,” The Doctor noted mildly.

“I’m still the one who hired him so it’s still my fault! I just thought he could do it since he’s done such a good job with the Foal Free Press,” Derpy sighed.

“Come on, Mom, it isn’t the end of the world. This can be fixed. It’ll just take a bit of legwork,” Sparkler comforted, “Speaking of legwork, Dad, is your suit ready?”

“Suit? What suit?” The Doctor asked blankly.

“Oh my stars Dad, your suit for the wedding!” As much as she loved her parents, sometimes they drove her nutty.

“Oh…that suit…would you believe I lost it fighting Daleks?” The Doctor asked hesitantly. Sparkler just glared at him.

“Daddy’s in trouble~!” Dinky giggled.

“I’ll just go find myself a new suit. How hard could it be?” The Doctor really should have been old enough to know better than to utter those cursed words.

“Lyra, I need you to run down to the market and pick up a few things! I didn’t expect to have to finish all the catering today!” Bonnie could work under pressure. She had to be able to do so as a secret agent. She wasn’t panicking. That didn’t mean she couldn’t feel the crunch time.

“Yes, ma’am!” Lyra saluted crisply, grabbed a list in her magic, and bolted out the door. Unfortunately, it seemed like the day’s worries were just beginning. As Lyra approached the market, she saw the Elements battling a Bugbear.

Well, maybe ‘battling’ was overselling it. Bugbears were powerful creatures in their own right, but Duskfall and Rainbow seemed more concerned with playing with it than actually defeating it. Small blasts of Darkness from Duskfall sending the Bugbear reeling before Rainbow plowed into it from whatever direction she chose.

“Hey, AJ, I’m gonna need about two bushels of apples,” Lyra requested of the farm mare.

“Yeah, I figured as much. Follow me back to tha cart. Stars know those two don’t need any help,” Applejack sighed.

“They do know today is the wedding, right?” Lyra asked.

“I dunno, pair of foals, treatin’ a Bugbear of all things like it’s a punchin’ bag,” Applejack then muttered a few unflattering things about her friends.

“Well, so long as Bonnie doesn’t find out about it, they should be fine,” Applejack shot a questioning look at Lyra, “Oh, Bonnie seems to think all Bugbears are out to get her.”

“Ah see… let’s just get you those apples. Ah’m sure it’s urgent,” Applejack ushered Lyra along and she followed.

“Shining, the wedding hasn’t even started yet,” Cadence sighed as she and her husband got off the train. It was just fortunate happenstance that they had decided to arrive a day early.

“I know, but every time I think about it, it’s just so sweet! Someone searching for the love of their life for years on end and just when they’ve give up hope, they find their love! It’s so beautiful!” Shining started tearing up again.

“The way you’re acting, you’d think you’re the one who’s pregnant,” Cadence teased.

“Speaking of, do you think Mom and Dad have told Duskfall yet?” Shining wondered.

“On the one hoof, I want to have faith in my in-laws. On the other hoof, I know how your family is. We should probably tell her after the wedding,” Cadence decided. Shining just chuckled sheepishly.

“We don’t have the flowers in for the wedding!” Roseluck shouted.

“The Horror! The Horror!” Lily cried.

“What are we going to do?!” Daisy wailed.

“The only thing we can do, Daisy…the only thing we can do…” Rose said dramatically.

“Not that?” Lily whispered.

“I’ll be back with flowers even better than what we would’ve had!” Rose declared and charged off in the direction of The Doctor’s house. If interstellar flowers wouldn’t do the trick, then Rose didn’t know what would!

“If those two don’t wrap up soon, they’re going to miss the wedding,” Fluttershy worried.

“On their own heads be it,” Rarity sighed. It would be such a shame too. Rainbow was going to wear a tuxedo and Duskfall’s midnight blue dress would have been divine. Now they might not wear them at all.

“Hopefully they’ll realize the time soon. I’d hate to stop them when they’re having so much fun,” Coco murmured.

“I’ll go pick up their wedding gifts, just in case. By the way, has anyone seen Harmonia?” Moon Dancer asked.

“Last I saw her, she was in Town Hall. It’s her first wedding and I think the poor dear is a little overexcited,” Rarity couldn’t help the smile on her face. Harmonia could be absolutely adorable when she wanted to be…or unintentionally, as was the case here.

“Vinyl, where’s my bowtie?!” Octavia was definitely panicking.

“Around your neck, babe,” Vinyl always found it amusing when she was the voice of calm reason. Everyone usually assumed Octavia was the rock in the relationship, but as soon as the heat turned on, it was almost always Vinyl calming down Octavia.

“Oh. Right, thanks sweetie,” Octavia said as she felt her bowtie around her neck.

“Seriously, Octy, stressing out over this isn’t gonna help anyone. Just go with the flow of the music, remember?” Vinyl said soothingly.

“Flow of the music. The tempo and rhythm, in and out,” Octavia chanted.

“Atta girl, you’re gonna knock this outta the park, just like you always do,” Vinyl nuzzled her marefriend and pecked her on the forehead.

“You’re right. Thanks Vinyl, for everything,” Octavia smiled as the weight lifted from her.

“That’s what I’m here for. Besides, I couldn’t just let your first wedding gig be some bog standard affair! Cranky and Matilda deserve better and you deserve being able to show off your talents!” Vinyl replied firmly.

“Speaking of, how are we going to move your equipment to the wedding in time?” Octavia asked.

Vinyl just smirked.

“Oh, why didn’t we ask Big Mac to carry the cake?” Mrs. Cake wondered as she and her husband tried to haul the wedding cake to town hall.

“We did, back when we thought the wedding was tomorrow,” Mr. Cake reminded.

“Right… at least the twins are old enough to behave themselves,” Mrs. Cake sighed. Indeed, both Cakes had one twin on their backs and they were being little angels. Of course, that all came to a screeching end as Vinyl, Octavia, and half the town bore down on them in some kind of wheeled contraption or other.

Fortunately, it was all over very quickly. The cake even managed to survive. Someone in their path had dropped a very odd looking cane, causing the whole contraption and everyone on it to go flying through an open window.

Harmonia just smiled contently as she felt the oncoming Chaos that, for once, had nothing to do with Discord. Upon seeing the catastrophe about to happen, Harmonia nudged a few outcomes with her Harmony Magic, causing everyone to land exactly where they needed to be. After all, this was her first ever wedding. It wouldn’t do to have it ruined.

“Luna?” Luna knew that look. Celestia wanted something from her.

“Yes, sister?” Luna asked warily.

“Would you, perhaps, be willing to share wedding gifts?” Celestia put on her most winning smile.

“You forgot yours in Canterlot, didn’t you?” Luna deadpanned.

“‘Forgot’ is such a strong word…yes I forgot it,” Celestia drooped.

“You know, you could just give it to them later,” Luna pointed out.

“You make a compelling argument,” Luna just buried her face in her hooves. Her sister could be so stupid sometimes.

"Doctor, hurry!" Derpy called out. Her best friend was running full tilt. Having to go bowling just to procure a new tie and then having to swing around the galaxy just to pick up some flowers had really eaten up the time.

"Are the kids inside?!" The Doctor shouted back.

"Yes, you're the last one!" Derpy replied. The Doctor ran up the steps to Town Hall. He was panting heavily, completely out of breath.

"Well, my dear Derpy, let's get a seat before I collapse here," The Doctor suggested. The pair walked inside, found seats next to their daughters and the ceremony began.

“Ladies and Gentlecolts, we are gathered here today for one of the greatest reasons. Today we celebrate the joining of Cranky Doodle Donkey and Matilda in holy matrimony. Life is made of joy and sorrow, but both the good times and the bad are made so much sweeter by sharing them with another. Together, you will build each other up and you will strengthen each other’s flaws. In sickness and in health you will love and care for one another.

“None here can doubt the strength of your devotion to one another. Though once separated, you persevered until you could be reunited. Now the only thing to do is make it official. To bind you together in the eyes of the law, so that it may reflect the truth in your Hearts. So, Cranky, do you take Matilda to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“You bet I do,” Cranky said eagerly.

“Do you, Matilda, take Cranky to be your lawfully wedded husband?” Mayor Mare asked.

“I do,” Matilda stared lovingly into Cranky’s eyes.

“Then I now pronounce you Jack and Jenny!” The newlyweds kissed and the room erupted in cheers and happy sobbing.

“Dammit,” Rainbow sulked.

“I was really looking forward to wearing that dress,” Duskfall pouted.

“Well, there’s always the reception,” Rainbow reminded.

“To the boutique!” Duskfall teleported both of them to Rarity’s place so they could get dressed. They may have been a pair of idiots, but the true test of intelligence is how you stick the landing!

“When did you get your Cutie Mark?!” The day was over and Duskfall, Shining, Cadence, Moon Dancer, Spike, and Harmonia were all sitting down for dinner.

“Didn’t I..? Wait…no, I did not. Dang it,” Duskfall facehoofed, "And I haven't told Mom and Dad either."

“Sparkle family curse,” Cadence giggled with amusement.

“Speaking of, have Mom and Dad told you that Cadence is expecting?” Shining asked.

“Expecting? Expecting what?” Harmonia, Spike, and Moon Dancer all gave Duskfall a look, “Oh, that kind of expecting. WHAT?!”

“Yeah, the doctors are saying it’ll still be a couple of weeks before the baby bulge starts showing, but I’m definitely pregnant,” Cadence confessed.

“Congratulations!” Spike cheered, “I’m gonna be an uncle!”

“Have you thought about names yet?” Moon Dancer asked.

“I look forward to seeing the end result of procreation,” Harmonia noted.

While everyone was being happy for Cadence and Shining, no one noticed Duskfall wrapped up in her own dark thoughts.

Author's Notes:

OK, so two things.

One, Steven Magnet got himself uninvited for stressing out Matilda. That kind of tactlessness is UNACCEPTABLE!

Two, during my meltdown, I wrote the first chapter of that displaced fic I was talking about before. For those of you who haven't seen it yet: Romancing the (Martial) Artist

---

As much as I love this episode and how gooey marriages make me feel in fiction, the longer I'm on this earth the more convinced I am of certain things.

Such as the fact that monogamous marriage was, quite possibly, the dumbest thing Humanity has ever created. Yes, I am including atomic weaponry and yes, I do mean Humanity created it. That "Marriage is between one man and one woman" quote is taken so far out of context it might as well be in Klingon.

In happier news, next episode we'll be seeing Starlight Glimmer and Duskfall face off. *Duel of the Fates plays*

After that the CMC should be getting their Cutie Marks either next chapter of the chapter after. I still have to remember to schedule in the human 5 for their checkup.