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Seeking My Purpose In The World

by The Sleepless Beholder

Chapter 19: Chapter 19: Warmth

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“So, I guess I should invite you something to eat first?” Sunset offered while she walked to the kitchen with Spike following close behind.

Spike chuckled. “You never had a guest before, have you?”

“Nope, but I learned a little in my time living with Moon Dancer. I also learned to cook, kind of.” She started to look around her kitchen, trying to think what to make.

“Well, I always cooked for Twilight, want a hand?” He asked walking up to her. “I can teach you a thing or two.”

“You would be my third teacher, but I’m sure you can teach me something other than baking and fast food. I’m impressed Moon hasn’t put on weight by now.”

Spike snapped his fingers. “Oh, that gives me an idea. I think you would love some spicy nachos.”

“Ooh! I love spicy food.” Sunset saw Spike moving a chair to the kitchen so he could reach the tables, and she quickly enchanted a spare tray with her magic. The enchanted metal rectangle flew below Spike’s feet, lifting him off the ground.

The dragon flailed his arms until he regained balance and looked at the tray, noticing how it moved to where he wanted to. “Wow, thanks!” He quickly flew back to her. “I knew you would like it. I sometimes question if you’re part dragon with your affection to fiery things.”
‘That and your warmth.’ He added in his mind, remembering the hug.

“Well, I can’t eat gems, so I don’t have a dragon’s stomach. Speaking of which-” Sunset opened one of the shelves and pulled out a big bowl full of gemstones. “Which one do you prefer?”

Spike was surprised. “Uh, the green ones. Did- did you have them for me?”

Sunset was a little confused at the question. “Well, I guessed you would come visit me someday, so I wanted to have something for your particular tastes.”

Spike smiled. “Thank you. That’s really kind of you.”

Sunset chuckled as she picked up the green gems. “Well, I just had my day with Fluttershy. How do you want them?”

“Crush them so we can add it to the cheese.” He put a couple of tortillas in the oven to dry them. “So, how was your day with her?”

“Pretty good,” Sunset responded with a smile. “I won’t gossip, but we found something to share during the day.”

“That’s great! You need more hobbies other than magical studies.”

Sunset rolled her eyes. “You should tell that to Twilight.”

Spike snorted. “I’ve tried, but you know her.”

“Yeah. She can be difficult to work with if it doesn’t involve books.”

“And don’t even mention the organizing. She just throws everything to the ground and then puts it back in place.” He frowned a little. “Sometimes even just after I cleaned the library.”

Sunset stopped crushing the gems for a moment. “You know Spike, I’m really surprised that you stood up against me first instead of Twilight.”

Spike raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I know she raised you and all, and I don’t question that she cares about you, but sometimes I think she gets a little excessive with the amount of work she puts on you.”

Spike was genuinely surprised. “You say that because of now? Because I don’t remember you objecting when we grew up in Canterlot.”

Sunset’s ears lowered a little. “I… actually did once.”

“What?”

Sunset looked away. “I… I tried to lecture Twilight about responsibility with you, and some other things, kind of a long ramble. Celestia was really mad with me.”

Spike was even more confused. “Why was she mad?”

“She said that Twilight was too young to be talked to like I did.”

“Why? Did you swear in front of her?”

“No, I… I don’t remember the exact words. But basically, I guilt her into acting like I wanted to.” Sunset remembered something. “I think Celestia said; ‘You shouldn’t strangle freedom to create order. Teach by example’. Which I was horrible at doing then.”

Spike didn’t know what to say. “I…wow.”

Sunset lowered her head to the table. “Yeah, I’m kind of terrible. In fact, I can’t really critique Twilight knowing I also made you work extra fixing my pranks to her.”

“But you’re better now,” Spike immediately countered. “Learning about friendship and all that. And going back to what you said before; I like being Twilight’s number one assistant. Even if that entails cleaning and taking care of her.”

Sunset turned to him. “I mean, I get it, but… Do you really want to be that forever? What if one day you want to do something else with your life?”

Spike looked at her. “Like what?”

“I don’t know, being a cook? A pianist? A radio personality?” Sunset casted a spell to give herself a curling black moustache and twirled it with her magic. “A comic book supervillain?”
Spike started laughing, and Sunset joined in until they remembered to take the tortillas out of the oven.
Catching back her breath, Sunset continued. “I just feel like she should do more for her little brother.”

Spike froze, slowly turning towards her. “You think she and I are brothers?”

Sunset raised her hooves in a semi-shrug. “I mean… It’s kind of the same thing with me. Why wouldn’t you be her little brother?”

“And yours?” Spike blurted out.

Sunset smiled. “If you want to, but you don’t have to-” She was suddenly in a very tight hug from Spike. “Are you okay?” she asked with worry in her voice.

Spike hugged her harder. “I’m just worried about you. Everything that happened to you… you don’t deserve it. No matter if you were a bully before. I also see you as a sister like Twilight, and I want to help you just like her. I’m just not sure how.”

Sunset smiled, tearing up a bit, and gave him a warm hug. “It’s okay Spike, I’m better now. I’ve my confidence back and Twilight’s friends are helping me better myself. I’m better than ever before.”

‘You’re not,’ Spike thought while he felt the heat of her body. He knew something was wrong, but didn’t know what, or how to help her.

“Let’s continue with the food, I’m getting hungry,” Sunset offered, and Spike nodded before smiling.
They chatted a bit more, laughing at memories of them growing up, and Spike’s tales of Twilight’s hardships adapting to the town.

They soon found themselves laying on Sunset’s bed eating nachos, Spike’s having gem dust mixed with his cheese, and looking at the ceiling a little bored.

“I need to get some party games or something,” Sunset said, eating the last of her food.

“Yeah, some chess would be nice. Or a little music,” Spike added.

“I don’t know how to dance nor sing.”

Spike looked at her incredulously. “How? I thought ponies were born knowing how to make a musical number.”

Sunset shrugged. “I was never part of one.”

“Give it a couple of days.” They both shared a laugh, but Spike’s smile faded as he carefully chose his next words. “Sunset… do you feel… cold?”

Sunset looked at him, confused at the question. “I mean, winter starts tomorrow, which I hate, but I haven’t taken out the blankets yet. Why do you ask?”

He took a few moments to respond. “Do you remember that night when we slept together?”

Sunset raised an eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t want to talk about it.”

Spike sat on the bed, not fully facing her. “I feel like I need to tell you the whole story.”


It was a winter night, it was probably a year or two after Twilight hatched me, when we still lived inside the castle instead of the ivory tower.
I was sleeping next to Twilight, when she suddenly got out of bed and trotted to the door. It woke me up and my first instinct was to follow her, so I did.
I later found out she was trying to sneak into the library to do some past bedtime reading, but I didn’t know that then, so I was worried something had happened.
I followed her as best I could, even now she’s quite faster than me, closing the distance every time she stopped to look around, but before we reached the library, a guard called out to her, probably to ask what she was doing. Twilight ran off, trying to not get caught, and I quickly lost her in the halls.
I didn’t know what was happening, I was scared, and alone. I tried to look for Twilight, but more guards started to show up, looking for her, and I thought that if Twilight was running from them, I should too.
So, I ran away, getting more and more lost, more and more scared. I eventually sat down and started crying, not knowing what to do.
Until I felt something in my scales.
I didn’t know what it was, but it gave me some comfort, so I stood up and tried to follow it.
As I got closer, I could feel it more definitely. It was a reassuring warmth, like a hug all over my scales and under them. It had a homely feeling, it made me feel safe.
I eventually reached a door that I opened with some difficulty, and when I was inside the room, it was as if that warmth reached the heat I feel inside myself, the one that gives me the fire that makes me a dragon.
I walked up to the source, sleeping on a canopied bed, and gave its hoof a tug. Your hoof.


Sunset got closer to Spike when he finished his story. “Spike, I-” her words died in her throat, not knowing how to process this information.

“The reason I’m telling you this… is that… I don’t feel that warmth coming from you anymore. It’s still there, but even if I hug you… it feels a lot colder.” He turned to her, showing the tears running down his face, just like that night. “I don’t know what it means. But I’ve only felt that warmth coming from two others; Celestia, and… what I can only guess was my mother. So I know it’s important and only I can feel it and I want to help you fix it but I don’t know how.” He finally broke down and started crying on the bed, all his fear and worry and helplessness being too much for him to hold back.
Sunset hug him as her mind raced for an answer.
What did this mean? What was wrong now? Why was she giving off this ‘warmth’? Did Celestia knew about it? How could she fix it?
Desperate for an answer, her mind drifted back to that night.


A hard tug woke me up. I growled and opened my eyes at best I could, seeing the little round face of Twilight’s dragon. “What do you want?” I asked annoyed, wondering why Twilight couldn’t keep her little pet out of my room.
The tiny lizard tried fruitlessly to jump onto my bed, but he lacked the size to do it. I tried to ignore him and go back to sleep, but as soon as I turned away from him, he started sobbing.
I picked him up with my magic, wanting to throw him out the door and lock it shut, and he looked at me with tears running down his face.
I sighed and put him on top of the bed next to me. “Look, I will go get Twilight so y-” The little lizard hugged me out of nowhere, clinging to me like if I were his mother or something.
I wanted to push him away, but he looked like he really needed somepony to cling onto. And honestly… I think I also need it.
“It’s okay little guy.” What was his name? something about a polearm. Lance? Pike? Spike!
“Spike?” The little guy looked up to me, tears still falling from his eyes. “Do you want to sleep with me tonight?” He just hugged me even tighter, and luckily his claws weren’t sharp enough to scratch me.
I put the blankets over him, nestling him against me, and went back to sleep, enjoying the little warmth his tiny dragon body gave me.


Sunset smiled. “You’re not the only one.”

“What?” Spike asked confused.

“You’re not the only one that can feel it. Or has it.” She moved him closer to her as she laid on the bed. “You also have a kind of warmth Spike. We can think of it as your magic or as your own type of comforting aura that you can give. I don’t know what it could mean or how to fix it, but if what you feel is that I’m cold by myself. Maybe we can share our heat together?”

Spike sobbed. “You think that will help?”

Sunset gave him a reassuring smile. “It helped you to not be scared and alone that night. It can do the same to me.”

Spike finally hugged her back, and Sunset covered them with the bed sheets. “Good night little brother.”

Spike smiled. “Good night big sister.”

Sunset closed her eyes, and before she fell asleep, she remembered the morning after that night.


I carried Spike back to his bed and wondered why he was in my room that night. I looked for Twilight and found her eating breakfast in the dinning room. I asked her about Spike, and she said that she had sneaked into the library and didn’t know he had left her bedroom.
I got angry at her. How could she be so clueless? She’s the student of the Princess, she can’t act this way.
“Twilight, I want you to hear me very carefully…”

Author's Notes:


Sunset's morale has gone up!: +4

Current morale: 30/100


My (late) birthday gift to you all, sorry about it being short, but it was a short story that needed to be told in it's own.

Next chapter we will finally have Rarity's day with Sunset!
On that note, have you noticed something particular about the titles of those kind of chapters?

Have a nice existence.

I will be watching you.

Next Chapter: Chapter 20: Inspiration Estimated time remaining: 6 Hours, 47 Minutes
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