Author's Notes:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FbLzMq3lvyXNGecv-eBhUDsSPzijEH0pan7qZP24h7A/edit

The rest of harvest went swimmingly. I got my percentage of the crops and part of it went to the airship to be stored for later use while some of it was kept at my house. Coffee takes a while to prepare, so I didn’t have any of that for immediate use, sadly.

Cadance left immediately after harvest. We all tried to get her to go home sooner, but she refused to leave a job half finished. Braeburn didn’t stick around much longer; he left a day after she did.

And so things returned to normal for my little dysfunctional family. Diamond Tiara finally stopped fucking around and actually taught Eva to read. All the hints I dropped that I knew Diamond was only taking so long because she wanted an excuse to get into my house finally got through her skull.

The horrible nightmares I gave her helped, I think.

November flew by easily enough, though Doppel was very curious about why I was so insistent on cuddling with her for a week—I’m not so quick to forget Luna’s estrus cycle, not after what happened to me. I refused to be alone during that week. And despite Flo’s looking, we didn’t see hide nor tail of that air elemental. December soon set in with the cold only it can provide.

And with December’s cold entrance came the first sign that trouble was brewing: I opened the beleaguered door to find Rarity standing in front of me in a warm looking scarf and little else. If I know what’s best for me, I think I’d slam this door shut. “What do you need, Rarity?” I sighed, crossing my arms as the warm air inside began leaking out the door.

“Not even going to invite me in?” she tittered. I just lifted an eyebrow. “Fine, fine. I just happen to have a long week off coming up and I was wondering... Do you remember the idea for a little competition you had some time ago?”

“No, I don’t. And I’m sure if I don’t remember it, it probably can’t be that important.”

“Oh, on the contrary! It sounded quite interesting. If I recall, it was a politeness competition, or something of that nature. We would swap personalities for the day and be judged by our peers upon who was more accurate.”

“Not ringing any bells. If that’s all, I was kinda in the middle of something.” No I wasn’t. I was just looking for something to do, at this point; it was too cold to easily practice sword fighting, so I sent the naga home to see his family before we left for the trip.

“I believe it was during the wedding...?”

“Which one?” I asked, scratching at the chin hairs that were coming in.

“The royal one between Cadance and Shining Armor, of course. Surely you remember!”

“That would be why I don’t remember, actually. If you’ll recall, I was struck by several mental spells at that time. I don’t remember shit about that wedding. Like, it’s just a blank hole in my mind at this point. Why would you just bring this up now, of all times?”

“Well, you’ve been sitting at home for a while now. I don’t think anypony’s seen you in town in weeks. You obviously aren’t doing anything and I have a week off coming up. I figured we could both use some excitement!”

“...And you didn’t stop to think about how this would ruin your reputation, if you acted how you think I act?”

“That’s the beauty of my plan, Nav! I have an idea that’ll work out so that neither of us will be impacted negatively, as long as we both stick to our characters.”

I sighed, having a feeling I was going to regret the next words out of my mouth. “I’m listening.”

She grinned and said, “Do you remember that time Twilight messed up a spell all those years ago?” I let the silence build for a few seconds before she realized what she just said. “The time when she made you swap bodies, I mean. I believe you entered Taya’s body.”

“Oh yeah, I remember that.”

“Then you should also remember that I know the spell that Twilight used to swap the bodies around in the first place. I know it and I can cast it. If I use that, we can turn into each other perfectly! Then we just get somepony to act as judges for each of us and we won’t have to worry about ruining my—or our—reputations. Everypony wins.”

“...Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Oh posh! What’s the worst that could happen? I’m sure this’ll be quite fun, don’t you agree?”

Well, seeing what it’s like to be Rarity would be somewhat interesting. And hell, I was looking for fucking anything to take my mind off the unrelenting boredom I was feeling. So I foolishly shrugged. “Alright, I’m in. How do you want to do this?”

“It’s quite simple, really. Each of us will plan things that the other can do during the day. Somepony we know very well will follow each of us around and rate us based on how we did at those tasks. At the end of the day, we’ll get back together and decide the winner!”

“Cool, that sounds easy enough. So Taya’s going to be following you around in my body?”

“Yes, should you choose to use Taya. I will probably use Sweetie Belle. I would use Fluttershy, but she wouldn’t be very useful as a judge. Oooh, this is going to be so much fun!”

I held up a hand. “Hold on, now. You can’t be requiring me to do something like making a dress. Nothing that we’ll be doing should require us to know skills that the other doesn’t know.”

“I’m aware, Nav. The things I have planned will be very easy, trust me. All you have to do is stay in character and stay on schedule.”

“Awesome. Just so I’m sure: You know how to fly, right? I remember hearing stories about you with wings.”

She nodded. “I have... some practice with it, yes. But Taya can’t fly, can she?”

“Maybe. It was just a thought. Let me know when you want to do this and give me the schedule beforehand so we can make sure the activities don’t conflict.”

“Of course. I must say, it’s a surprise you actually agreed to this. I figured you wouldn’t be interested at all.”

“Rarity, I’m bored out of my fucking mind right now. The only things I have left to do are write more books that almost no one reads, continue hunting the forest dry, or continue building things. My house is almost empty, so I lost most sources of entertainment. I’m grasping at whatever I can find to keep myself entertained.”

“...You know, everypony in town would love it if you visited more often. Every time we do anything together, we always debate inviting you, but we realize that you’re a knight with important duties. If we knew you were this bored, we would have found ways to keep you entertained.”

“Knight, my ass. I haven’t heard word from Luna since Nightmare Night. Even in the world of dreams, she’s been silent.”

“...World of dreams?”

“Yeah. Being Luna’s knight and having helped her with something a while back means I’m able to do the dream walking shit she does. I’ve been helping her police nightmares for two months or so now. Hell, I’ve even pulled you out of one or two.” That I ‘accidentally’ caused.

“Huh. I trust I won’t be required to do anything with that?”

“Of course not. It takes hours of training even to be able to get out of your own dream. Just trust me when I say that it would be best if we swap back before nightfall.”

“Why is that?”

“What part of ‘just trust me’ do you find hard to understand? It would be bad for me to fall asleep in any body that isn’t this one.”

“Very well... I wasn’t planning on making it last that long anyway. Now, I need to go make plans! Tata for now!” And with that, Rarity began trotting away, her tail bouncing to and fro as she merrily went on her way.

I closed the door, wondering just what exactly I got myself into this time. Then I shrugged and began thinking of what exactly I could get Rarity into this time...

Rarity came by the next day with a schedule and a small list of rules and conditions. “I believe your day should be relatively easy,” she said with a smile as she made herself comfortable on my couch.

I looked over the rules and conditions first. “Let’s see... No going out of Ponyville unless it’s an emergency, sure. Nothing violent?” I looked up and saw her giving me a flat look. “Fair enough.” My gaze moved back down to the rules. “No sex. Good, you better not take advantage of my virginal body.” She snorted as I kept reading. “No purposefully besmirching each other’s name. No shit.” That was it for rules. “What happens if one of these is broken?”

“The contestant that breaks the rule forfeits, of course.”

“Go figure. Is the winner actually going to get something?”

She sweetly grinned. “If I win... you have to do something I want you to.”

“And if I win?”

“A public admittance of what Pinkie and I did. Well, what I did. I won’t drag Pinkie down with me.”

“...Deal, as long as whatever you request doesn’t hurt me.”

“Oh, you don’t need to worry about that. It’ll even be good for you, though I imagine you won’t agree at first.”

“Oh God, I bet you want me to read more of that anime bullshit. Or cosplay, since I’m the only human you have. But I already agreed. Let’s see the schedule...” I pulled it up and started reading over it. “Spa with Fluttershy and Sweetie Belle. Hm, are they going to comment on Sweetie being there?”

“Of course not. I occasionally bring her. And she does have to be your judge, after all.”

Shrugging, I continued reading. “Shopping. Write me out a list and I’ll have no problems. Cup of tea with Twilight, easy enough. Some time to freshen up and maybe some house cleaning—you just want to pawn your cleaning off on me, I bet. And finally, a picnic with all your friends. Easy day. I don’t usually make schedules... but I’ll see what I can do. Quick question: Do you consider Applejack’s farm and Fluttershy’s pad part of Ponyville?”

“Well, technically. But remember: All that time walking comes out of the time I could be in town, losing.”

“Noted. Speaking of that, you’ll have to practice walking. Tripping over your feet and busting my face means serious points docked, since I wouldn’t do that. Anyway, I’ll get a schedule to you in a few days. When are we doing this?”

“In one week from today. I shall be over here early in the morning, so I may get some practice walking before the day begins properly.”

“Cool. Oh, and no taking advantage of having a maid. I’ll give Doppel the day off so you can’t abuse her with your spastic needs.”

“I... actually hadn’t thought of that. But don’t you take advantage of her all the time?” she coyly asked. “And aren’t I supposed to act like you?”

I gave her a dirty grin. “You said sex was against the rules. That’s how I take advantage of her.”

“Well... I admit to being curious about some aspects of a different body... But I wouldn’t do anything without your permission and definitely not before the competition is over!”

“Eh, I’ll give you a BJ before we turn back. Fair warning: my body has deadened physical contact because of nerve damage and being part tree.”

“How... Well, I suppose I could try it... As long as you don’t tell anypony, of course.”

“You of all people know that I’m relatively discreet. Don’t you worry about a thing. You need anything else while you’re here?”

“Well...” She looked around the room, her eyes focusing on the window. “I’ve been meaning to say something. Don’t take this the wrong way, Nav, but... your drapes are awful. Green is such a spring color! So much of your house is like that.... I’ll admit the building is imposing, but there’s so much you could do to fix it!”

“Rarity, no one even comes out here to visit all that often. Aside from you, I’ve only had Derpy coming by to drop the mail off as company for around a week now. Until then, it was only Spike every few days for nearly a month.”

“Well... you do live a rather long distance out of town. But that’s no excuse for you not coming into town yourself. Or for your house not looking the best it could look!”

I shrugged. “It’s easy to fall into old habits. Back in my world, I was a recluse. With no excuses to deal with people, I didn’t deal with them. And without Twilight or Cadance forcing me to do shit, I don’t have any reason to deal with people. So here I am.”

“That’s quite... depressing, Nav. You know that Twilight would let you move back in with her if you asked, right? I think anypony would. But you’d probably have to get rid of your changelings, or find rooms for them elsewhere.”

“I’m not bemoaning my fate, Rarity. I knew what would happen when I moved out here. I’m quite alright with it. Besides, now that I’ve actually started supplementing more of my diet with meat, I’ve been feeling healthier and stronger. I wouldn’t be able to do that in town, nor would I be able to help Spike do the same.”

Her gaze narrowed slightly. “You shouldn’t be giving Spike meat, Nav. For Celestia’s sake, he’s just a...” She caught her own mistake without me needing to remind her, making her look away. “I suppose he isn’t a foal anymore, is he? And he is definitely a dragon... A meat eater. I just wish I had seen it all sooner.” She looked down and depressed for some reason.

“Oh well, them’s the breaks. Though I don’t know how you didn’t realize that he was a meat eater. I mean, that should be obvious.”

“You know what I meant! He always was such a gentlecolt... Though I suppose it’s better we each find somepony of our own race.”

“Yeah, have fun with that. I sure won’t have any problems finding me a human wife, I bet.”

“Nav, you know I don’t count you in that. Although it probably wouldn’t be that hard to go back in time again and find somepo—one willing to come back with you.”

“Wouldn’t matter if I could or couldn’t. I’m effectively sterile. Nothing I can do would get a human pregnant. Well, unless I ate that fruit from the Everfree.”

She blinked in surprise. “Fruit? What fruit?”

I shrugged. “Some kind of pink banana or something. If you eat it, you’ll go crazy and rape the first thing of the opposite gender you see. According to Zecora, that will result in a pregnancy, no matter the races.”

“That is... interesting. Why didn’t I know about that?”

“Because Twilight and I haven’t exactly told many people. Something like that could be used as a weapon. And God, just imagine the horrors a half pony, half griffin would face. Although it would be pretty funny if a unicorn fucked a griffin and had a unicorn with griffin wings. I wonder if the kid would be crowned royalty...”

Rarity giggled. “Maybe. There are few enough alicorns... Though I don’t know if we really need more royalty. That would be up to Celestia, though. And Luna, I suppose. It’s still strange to think of there being two princesses in charge.”

“And Cadance.”

“Yes, but what does she actually do, aside from make public appearances?”

“Live in my house and be annoying. Or at least, she used to. Going on two months now without having her here. It’s been... quiet.”

“Oh? Do you miss her?”

“Well, I definitely miss her cooking. I’m not bad at it and neither is Taya, but we’re not her. Doppel can’t cook worth a damn, though. Probably because she doesn’t have a working nose or tastebuds. I’m afraid to allow Eva or any of her personalities near the stove.”

“Why is that? Are you still worried about her possibly hurting you?”

“Nah, I’m over that. No, I just realized that I never asked exactly how old she was when I decided to take her in. I thought she was just small. Turns out she’s just a little older than Taya—not that they ever gave me a year age, of course. And she is, of course, a lot less mature. The other three are better and mostly older, but they still have the whole changeling problem.”

Rarity shuddered thinking about it. “I don’t think I could manage having different ponies in my mind like that...”

“It isn’t really different people. They’re all just different aspects of the same person. Like, say you split your mind up. You could put your creativity and work ethic in one place, your childishness and carefreeness in another, and your mature mindset in a third. That way you wouldn’t be distracted as easily when working on a dress and the moment you get a visitor, you can switch to your mature mindset while your creative mind stays on task, designing the dress in your head.”

“I... suppose I could see the use in that. But it would still be very strange. I just don’t think it would be something I’d want to do. I’m surprised Twilight hasn’t come to talk your ear off about it yet.”

“She has. Multiple times. When I don’t tell her how I did it with Eva, she gets quite upset and leaves in a huff before I could explain anything else. She’s more interested in how it works than why it works and what can be done with it, which I suppose makes sense. The whys and the uses aren’t very helpful if she can’t replicate it.”

“Then why don’t you tell her?”

“Because it has to do with a certain trip you invited yourself along on. I thought it prudent that Twilight not learn about some aspects of our vacation.”

“I still don’t see why it matters if they know. But I trust your judgment on the matter. Aside from spreading the wonders of anime, I haven’t said a word about it. And you know, much of the fandom would be quite pleased if you were to visit a little convention we were thinking about putting together.”

“You couldn’t pay me enough to make me go to spaghettifest: pony edition. If you want me to go, you better win the competition thing we have going on and make that your request.”

“Very well... though I heard Princess Luna might make an appearance. I imagine she would be pleased if her knight was there.”

“Don’t care, not going. I absolutely do not want to be squeed over or glomped or anything else you mouthbreathers do.”

“...Mouthbreather? Navarone, I believe you are projecting prejudices from your world over to this world. I can assure you that you would be given the utmost of respect. You might be requested to do a few things, but I’m sure it wouldn’t be anything you wouldn’t mind doing.”

“Don’t care, still not going. God, I bet your request would be me using the gender stones and dressing up as a schoolgirl to get ‘raped’ in a reenactment. You have just the kind of mind that would think of that, you dirty girl.”

She jerked back when I said that, blushing up a storm. I couldn’t tell if she was angry or flustered. “I would not do that! That is just... ugh, disgusting!” She paused for a moment, looking away and muttering. Eventually she said, “Although... Well, Princess Luna’s hair... I know it can be done after that horrid business with Princess Celestia and Fleur a while back. Seriously, what ever could have come over her!? Did you ever talk to her about that?”

I shrugged. “She brought it up once or twice. Seemed rather upset by it. I probably would be too, all things told. She said that her personal business was just that: Personal. It isn’t the business of everyone what or who she does in her spare time.”

“But to have an affair with a married mare! I imagine that scandal will follow her for some time.”

“Probably. She should have known better than to do it on the ground floor, where she would be easily accessed by cameras. Though I suppose that makes the affair all the more risqué and enjoyable.”

“Speaking from experience, hm?” she slyly asked.

“No, of co—Wait, shit. I did have illicit relations with a maid in the same room, but I had a very good reason. She was blackmailing me at the time and I was in a hurry. I don’t think she was married, thankfully. It was just a good fingering, either way.”

Rarity face-hooved. “Nav, you can be so... Celestia, just awful. What was she even blackmailing you with?”

“I was using that room for a prank on the princesses. She caught me in the middle of it and promised she wouldn’t go to Celestia if I proved a rumor for her. One thing led to another and next thing I knew I was hands deep in a mare. These things happen.”

“I... I need to go before I say something I might regret.” She hopped off the couch. “Do remember to make me a schedule, Nav. If I had to play one of your days by ear, I believe that all I would know to do was chase after mares. And,” she finished with a grin, “stallions.”

“Hey, Braeburn was a one time thing. After he couldn’t walk for an hour, he said no more. I figured it would be best if I kept my eyes on one side of the fence.”

“I see. That is certainly good to hear. I already hear some angry mumbles from stallions about you. It would be quite disappointing if the already small number of available stallions in Ponyville dropped because of your habits.”

“Yeah, yeah. Now out you go.”

She sniffled, faking tears. “Just... throw me out into the cold! I see how it is. No, don’t get up on my account! I shall see my unwanted self out!” I just shrugged and leaned back into my seat, crossing my arms behind my head. She huffed and trotted a few steps before eyeing me. “Aren’t you going to convince me to stay?”

“Hey, you were the one that said you were going. I was just expediting the process.”

She seemed to deflate. “Very well... I have many things to do before my week off anyway. I will see you later, Navarone.”

“Have fun, Rarity.” I was already trying to think of ways to make her suffer.

As she let herself out, Flo whispered, “You shouldn’t go too hard on her. Remember, she’ll be in a new body. With me.”

Oh shit, I forgot about that! You can’t go with me, can you?

“I can’t, not without letting Rarity know that I exist. Hiding from her will be no problem, however. And I can even ensure that she does not harm your body, though stopping her from doing something would inform her that she isn’t alone in this body.”

“I’d rather have your secret out than get my body hurt by someone that doesn’t know how to use it. I can explain it away to Rarity, as long as she isn’t too vocal about her surprise. Just tell her you’re a human machine, if it comes to that. She’ll probably buy it.”

“Alright. Hopefully it won’t come to that. Are you sure you’ll be fine on your own for a few hours?”

“...Really? Flo, I’m not helpless. I like having you there to support me, but I don’t think I’ll have many problems.”

“Many of my previous hosts felt the same way, but whenever I left their minds, they always felt... hollow for some time. Hollow and alone.”

“Well, I already agreed to it. I’m sure I’ll be fine. And if not, it’ll probably be for only a few hours. It’s nice to finally have all bases covered.”

If only that had been the case...

The day of reckoning was clear as far as my eyes could see and according to Dash, there was no bad weather planned for a good long while. It was still fucking cold—what, did you expect it to be warm in December?—but at least it wasn’t raining. Given that most of the activities I could think of for Rarity to do in my body took place outside, it was good that I knew I probably wouldn’t get sick.

“Are you sure about this?” Taya asked, flopping down on the couch.

“Hey, I’m really bored here. And don’t say you aren’t, either. I figure this is a good way to get us out of the house for a little while.”

Before she could say anything else, Doppel came down the stairs, wearing a nice little sun dress—having a carapace means you don’t have to care about the cold, I guess. Ganger followed along behind her, not wearing anything. “So what’s the occasion, Master?” Doppel asked.

“I figured we could all do with getting into town for the day. Ganger doesn’t get around much and you haven’t had a day off since the last time you did. And maybe you can show him how to blend in better when in town. I’m expecting a visitor and shortly after she departs, so will Taya and I. Feel free to head on into town.”

“Alright. Come along, Ganger.” She smacked him with her tail, not even looking back. Given how much he seemed to like her, she probably knew how close he would be.

“See you later, Nav,” Ganger said, looking back at the door. I grinned and winked, hoping he might get lucky. Although... a pregnant maid might be a liability. Still, Doppel is probably smart enough to avoid that. Either way, out my two changelings went, leaving the house with just me, Taya, and Freki.

“I know you’re bored,” Taya continued, “but it still doesn’t seem like a good idea. What if something happens?”

“Then it happens. With you and Flo watching my body, it should be fine. And I’m smart enough to avoid trouble in Rarity’s body. Everything should be okay.”

“Daddy, how many times have you said that?”

“A bunch.”

“And how many times did things end up being okay?”

“Hey, I’m still here, aren’t I?”

I’m pretty sure she was going to keep going, but a knock at the door interrupted her. I grinned at her and went to go get it, letting Rarity and Sweetie Belle inside. “Wow, it looks almost exactly the same!” Sweetie exclaimed when she got to the den.

“When have you ever been in here?” I asked.

“Pinkie’s party here, when you first had it built. Almost nothing changed... aside from the thing on the mantle up there.”

“The box with the flashlight? Yeah, that’s a few months old. I don’t put much stock in personal effects. Doesn’t seem like anyone else here does either.”

“...It doesn’t really feel like a home without them,” Sweetie sighed.

“Hush, Sweetie Belle,” Rarity hastily said. “So are you ready, Nav?”

“Yeah. You’ll have to draw up the summoning circle, though. We can use the naga’s room in the cellar for that. He isn’t here and won’t be for another week or two, probably.”

“Very well, then. Lead the way.”

I hopped back up from my seat and started walking to the back. “What’s a flashlight?” Sweetie asked before I could go very far.

“A human invention used to shine light in the dark.” I walked over to the mantle and pulled down the box Cadance gave me, opening it. “This here’s the royal savior star.” Rarity and Sweetie both gasped as the room lit up brightly. I grabbed it, turning the light a dim green, and set the box aside. “Basically just a glorified flashlight. Catch.” I tossed it at Rarity.

She caught it with her magic, turning the crystal a bright blue. “Interesting... So the color depends on the pony holding it?”

“As far as I can tell.”

“What’s it made of?”

“Fuck all if I know. Anyway, let’s get on with this. Freki, you’re on house guarding duties. Anyone that doesn’t belong tries to break in, make them sincerely regret it.” Rarity flew the star over to my hands and I tossed it back in the box, closing it with a snap. All of us but the moody wolf finally set off for the dark depths of my home with me at the head.

“At least the kitchen feels warmer,” Sweetie Belle idly commented as we walked, looking over the decorations that Cadance had put up in her time there.

“Cadance got bored of looking at empty walls,” I replied, opening the door to the cellar. “Mind your step. If you trip, you’ll bump into me, and I don’t want to break anything.”

“Thanks for the concern,” Rarity dryly said, following me and Taya into the darkness. “Though a light would be useful.”

“Damn, I always forget about that. There’s a switch by the kitchen door. I can see in the dark, so I don’t usually notice.” After a second, a light flickered on, shrouding the room with shadows. Still, it cut back the darkness enough that the three of them could get down.

“What’s all this junk?” Sweetie Belle asked, poking at a hunk of wood.

“Some of them are failed experiments. Some of them are successful experiments. That right there is a machine that will hurl a metal pole for about five hundred meters.” Though it’s only accurate to about two hundred. “It’s currently broken down, though. I don’t think that would leave a positive impression if I left it in my yard.”

“Well, if nopony knows what it is...”

“It would be obvious if it was set up. Anyway, through here.” It amused me that Sweetie didn’t ask about the giant fucking reactor right there next to her, instead concentrating on the wood.

“Whoa! I didn’t know you had a pool!” Sweetie’s voice cracked there at the end, which I always thought was kind of adorable. “Why didn’t you tell anypony?”

“No one asked. Is this area fine, Rarity?”

“It is,” she confirmed, looking around. “I must say, I quite like it down here. It’s calm and peaceful and the lighting is nice.”

“Water feels good, too,” I said, stretching my wings. “Anyway, let’s get on with this.”

“Can we go swimming while you work?” Sweetie Belle quickly asked.

“Hey, I don’t care,” I replied. “But remember that when we leave, you’re going to be outside in the cold. You don’t want to be wet in that.”

“Oh... Don’t you have towels?”

I looked to Rarity to have her tell Sweetie to shut up, but Taya quietly said, “I can dry you off. I learned how.”

“Yay!” Sweetie jumped straight into the pool before anything else could be said.

“...I hope that water is clean,” Rarity distastefully commented.

“It’s spring fed,” I said as Sweetie Belle’s head popped out of the water and she spit some water out. “So it’s about as clean as any spring water is.”

“You two coming in?” Sweetie asked, looking at me and Taya.

Taya looked up at me. I shrugged and jerked my head at the water. She shook her head. I knelt down, wrapped my arms around her, and tossed her in, thanking the naga for making me work out. “I don’t want to get my clothes wet, sorry,” I told her as Taya surfaced, glaring at me. “Have fun, you two.” I looked back over to Rarity, who was pulling a set of saddlebags off her back. “You need any help?”

“No, I’m quite alright. I just need to make sure I get the circle right. It’ll probably take... oh, fifteen minutes.” Her horn lit up and some chalk floated out of her bag. “I haven’t drawn one of these in years.” Following the chalk was a spellbook. “Now, let’s get started.”

I heard a splash from behind me as Taya pulled herself out of the water. An orange glow surrounded her and all the water in her fur just fell away from her, suspended in a field of magic. She tossed it behind her, dropping it into the pool. The aura disappeared around everything except for her horn as she pulled another stick of chalk from Rarity’s bag.

“I can draw it in half that time,” she confidently said. “Go play with your sister.”

Her horn lit up brighter and Rarity was tossed into the pool, squealing as she soared over us. Taya nabbed the spellbook from the air before it could hit the floor and walked over to an open area. She immediately began drawing while opening the magic book and looking for something.

“Taya, what have I told you about acting like a bitch?” I said, crossing my arms.

“I learn by example, daddy.” She stopped flipping pages and nodded, going back to paying attention to whatever she was drawing.

“Just because I’m a dick doesn’t mean you have to be. It’s the goal of every parent to make a child that is better than they are, and I’m doing my best to make that easy for you. However, you seem to be fighting my efforts. You need to stop that shit and behave.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she absentmindedly said as she drew. I am getting sick and tired of her bitchy behavior. Just one more push. I dare you. I imagine some human punishments would teach you a lesson.

Flo sighed. “Nav, she needs to be able to walk. Don’t punish her until you get back tonight. Maybe she’ll learn a lesson today or something.”

Yeah. Right. I know Flo was getting just as tired of it, though. Yeah, I know I’m not exactly the best example, but that doesn’t give her an excuse to follow me.

Anyway, Taya got the circle done relatively quickly. Right after she did so, a shivering Rarity removed herself from the pool, dripping water and looking somewhat traumatized. Her normally very styled hair was hanging limply down her head. When Taya’s horn lit up and dried her off, Rarity’s coat immediately poofed out, standing straight up, while her hair turned into an afro.

One of her eyes twitched a few times before she snatched her bag closer and ripped a brush out of it, running it over her head first, somehow going from a fro to its normal style, and then on her coat, doing the same thing.

“We shall never speak of this again,” she flatly said, tucking the brush back into her bag. “Navarone, to the circle.” We both walked over to the runic circle that Taya drew. I sat down in it, since Rarity would probably lose her balance quickly if she transferred when I was standing. “Are you ready?”

“Nope. Do it.” She blinked, but shrugged and her horn lit up. A second later, my soul was violently ripped from its mortal husk and sent through the void into Rarity’s body. “God, why do I suddenly feel like whining?”

“And why do I suddenly feel like having sex with anypony that moves?”

I grinned at what she said. “Watch that, Rarity. I don’t say anypony.”

“And I don’t say anyone. You better not ruin me, Navarone.”

“Oh come now. Your sister is watching me. Surely she’ll be able to keep me in line.”

“...I’m sure. Now, how do I work these legs?”

“We’ll get to those. First, the fingers. Can you stretch them? And pick things up with them?”

She slowly unfurled her fingers, lifting them up to her eyes to watch them in awe. After a second, she reached over to where Taya had left the chalk, twisting her newfound fingers around them. She gasped. “It’s so rough!”

“It’s chalk, of course it’s rough. So you can grab things, good.” I walked over. “Put both hands on my back.”

She did so. “So soft!”

“Yep. This is what you spend all that time on your coat for. Now bend your knees so they’re pointing up. Push up with your hands and pull on my back.” She slowly did so, lifting herself off the ground. Soon enough, she was all the way up. “There. Now slowly let go of my back.” I stepped away as she did so.

“I’m so... tall! And Celestia, everything looks so weird! And it all sounds weird, too. I don’t really remember that back when I was you before.”

“The looking weird is because of your predator eyes. The sounding weird is because of your different ears. All of your senses are totally out of whack right now. Give it some time and you should be fine. Can you take a step?”

“I can... try.” She lifted one foot in front of her and her back leg buckled, almost sending her to the floor. Taya caught her before she smacked her head on the stone, thankfully.

“Remember, your knees don’t bend backwards anymore. Now, try again.”

“Wait, before I do... Taya, is your horn glowing?”

“Yeah, humans can see magic,” I said. “She’s the one that caught you.”

“Interesting... Thank you, Taya.” Of course, that’s when Taya dropped her. Rarity yelped as she hit the ground, a sound I’m not used to hearing from my mouth.

“No problem,” Taya answered.

“Can you stand up on your own?” I asked.

“I can try. Give me a moment.” She stretched her legs and slowly picked herself up, probably something she had watched me do in the past. “Good! Now, to walk...” She tenderly stretched a leg out, making sure her back leg didn’t crumble behind her. “I did it!” she exclaimed after going a single step.

“It’s a start. See if you can keep it up. Taya, explain this magic bullshit. How do I levitate things?”

“Basic levitation is easy,” Taya answered, lifting the chalk. “You have to know the layout of the area, though, and build the layout in your mind. Then you just concentrate on the item and imagine it moving somewhere else. Heavier items take more concentration. Twilight said it’s harder for fillies and colts to learn because they can barely concentrate. For you, it might be easier.” I closed my eyes and built the room in my mind, trying to get it as close as possible. “It’s definitely easier when your eyes are open, especially if someone is moving.”

“And you talking isn’t helping,” I said, not opening my eyes. With Rarity’s bag in my mind, I concentrated on lifting. I felt a... warmness on my head. When I opened my eyes, I found that the bag was a few inches off the floor. “It actually worked!” When I said that, it fell.

“Of course, believing in yourself is one of the main components,” Taya said offhandedly. “If you don’t think you can do something, you definitely can’t.”

“That’s... strange. I honestly wasn’t expecting magic to work for me. I guess that’s what I get for not paying attention. Well, now I know I can.” I narrowed my eyes and concentrated on the item lifting in the air again. It slowly pulled itself off the ground and floated over to me. I settled the saddlebags over my back, rolling my shoulders as they fell into place. “There. At least I can function today.”

“Don’t you want to learn how to do more?” Taya quickly asked. “I can show you how to make a fireball!”

“That’s like asking a bishop to learn heresy. I’ll pass. If I get into any situations where creating a fireball is important, I’d rather just run the other way.”

Rarity flinched, looking around. “Did somep—one do something? I thought I just heard a wet smack...”

“Probably Sweetie Belle in the water,” I said, not buying that for a minute. What did I do this time, Flo? Looking back to Taya gave me the answer to that. She... didn’t seem overly happy with my answer. Thinking about it, I can see why. All that time I spent teaching her and helping her, she just wanted to help me with something. The one time she had the ability to teach me something she was passionate about, I shot her down. I looked back over to Rarity. “Is there any combat magic that you know? For self-defense reasons?”

“Well, Princess Celestia made the six of us go through numerous self-defense classes. I learned a few spells there. A chain lightning spell that stuns ponies is one I learned. Why? Surely we don’t have time to learn something like that.”

“You know that spell?” I asked Taya.

She seemed to light up as she nodded, smiling. “It’s not that hard!”

Look, I don’t like or even understand magic. I won’t even try to explain what she did and how she taught me that spell because honestly, I don’t want to remember it. I’d rather have a sword or a gun any day. Sharp things cut, gunpowder ignites and creates enough force to propel a hunk of metal toward an enemy, and both are natural. Shooting lightning from a bone sticking out of your head is not normal or natural and it just felt wrong to do. I only learned it to please Taya.

“Oooh, if only we had more time!” Taya bemoaned when I was able to arc lightning a few feet away.

“Even if we did, I couldn’t learn more,” I said. “Remember, I’m pretending to be Rarity. I don’t think she’d break out a huge array of combat spells even if they were called for.”

“And one of the rules is no violence,” Rarity said, gently flapping her new wings. “These are quite different from the ones I temporarily had. Feathers are... interesting.”

“I trust you know about pegasus wings. Mine are the same.”

“Then I’ll be careful. Wait... so when I walked in on you and Rainbow Dash—”

“Yes.” She chuckled, her wings extending. “Yeah, and watch out for that. They extend like that when you’re aroused. And so does something else,” I said, looking down to a certain place. “Be careful with that.”

She very quickly blushed a bright red. “I... I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

I looked up at her face, giving her a flat stare. “Rarity, that’s my body you’re talking about. I know my body. And I’m more careful about that, so you better hide it or you’ll lose points.”

“Ugh. Do you have to deal with this all the time?”

“Welcome to having a dick. Sweetie Belle, you ready to go?”

“Aww, do we have to?”

“I’m afraid so, dear. We have quite a day ahead of us, after all. And Sir Navarone here still has to get ready to go. Now come out of there before you wrinkle and let Taya dry you off.”

She sighed and paddled over, getting out of the pool. “So when are you two going to switch?” she asked as Taya did magic to her.

“When everything on the schedule is finished,” Rarity answered with a shrug.

“No, I mean for the first time. Shouldn’t you two swap before we leave?”

“They already did,” Taya said. “Now I think I see why you said this would be fun, daddy.”

“I’m glad I reminded you, then,” I said with a grin, looking to Rarity in my body.

“Eh, I can be forgetful sometimes. All those blows to the head, you know,” she replied. “Anyway, we should get going. We got stuff to do, Taya.” Oh man, this might be harder than I thought.

“Come along, dear,” I said to Sweetie Belle. “We have an appointment at the spa to make!” I led the way out of the room and up the stairs. Rarity had some trouble with the steps, but she managed well enough. “When shall we meet back here?” I asked.

“When we finish everything on the schedule,” she replied. “Whoever gets here first can just wait. I imagine that there’s no shortage of things to do here.”

“Taya knows where the study is. There are a ton of books there you can busy yourself with if you get back first. Now, you need to get ready to go. You’re going to want to put a jacket and some shoes on. Taya also knows where all of that is. Get out of here in fifteen minutes. Sweetie and I will leave now.”

“The game begins when you go outside,” Rarity told me. “Do have fun!”

“Quick question before I go outside, then. The spa chicks won’t be too offput if I don’t know any gossip, will they?”

“They’re my main source. I learn most of what I know from them.”

“Bitchin’. Let’s do this, Sweets.”

I stepped out the front door as she answered, “What does bitchin’ mean?”

“Such barbaric language! Who taught you such a thing?” I asked, doing my best to put on the accent Rarity used.

“But you just—”

“I assure you, I did no such thing! Such uncouth words would never cross my lips. Now come along before that ruffian corrupts you any further. And be sure to get the door.”

Sweetie sighed. “Yes, Rarity...” She pulled the door shut behind me and fell in next to me.

Is it bad that I really only know how to react as Rarity, but not start a conversation as her? I did my best on the way to the spa, but I don’t think my best was really all that great.

As it turns out, I do not like spas. My innate dislike of being touched probably has a lot to do with that. I dealt with it as best I could, but I believe they all knew something was off. I did my best to keep up with the gossip, at least.

Thankfully, little of it was about me. “We haven’t seen Navarone or his delectable hands in town recently,” Aloe sighed, plastering some green shit on my face.

“It’s quite a shame, too,” Lotus lamented. “Even when he is in town, he never stops by the spa. I wonder why...”

“Not to belittle your skills,” I said, “but would you be able to give him a treatment anyway? I mean, his body is so different from ours!”

“In a good way,” Aloe whispered, earning a chuckle from Lotus. “We would be able to, yes. He is different, but similar enough to a minotaur.”

“And it would not be the first time we gave him a... private showing,” Lotus added, smirking. “Ah, if only he had taken our job offer... We believe that relationship would have gone far.”

“Relationship?” Fluttershy whispered.

“Business relationship, dear,” I answered. “Navarone and his fingers would be quite valuable to our hosts. I believe you’ve been a recipient to one of his belly rubs, haven’t you? He is unpracticed, but if he was trained... Well, I believe there would be patrons from all across Equestria!”

“It’s true,” Aloe said with a nod. “But at this point, his fame has spread in such a way that he could work as a janitor and still bring the business’s name up.”

“He doesn’t seem the type to work, though,” I said, trying to keep Rarity’s general disapproval about my life in place. “Even before he fell into money, all he ever seemed to do was the occasional odd job. And a single father... Well, he needs to spend as much time with his filly as possible.”

“True,” Lotus said. “But I’m pretty sure he has marriage prospects. The only reason a stallion like him wouldn’t be in a relationship is because he doesn’t want to be.”

“I wonder why, though...” Aloe said, curiosity evident in her tone.

“Maybe he is in one?” I suggested. “He seems secretive about a number of things. It’s possible he’s in a long-distance relationship and simply didn’t tell anypony. It would be quite romantic of him to hold out for her, if that was the case.”

Lotus shook her head. “If he is, he’s cheating on her with his maid. Everypony knows those two share a bed more often than not.” Now that’s just not true. Or at least, not anymore. “Maybe he’s in love with her?”

“I doubt it,” I answered. “In lust with, maybe. I don’t think he would make her be a maid if he loved her.”

“Unless a certain human has a maid fetish,” Aloe giggled.

“That is... possible,” I said, thankful that the green goop was hiding my blushing face. “I suppose we won’t know unless we ask him. I certainly wouldn’t do so, myself. I admit to curiosity, but prying just seems impolite.”

“It’s hardly prying,” Lotus said. “Just asking a question. It’s only prying if he refuses to tell you but you keep trying to figure it out.”

“...Fair enough. Either way, I believe I respect his privacy enough not to ask. But if somepony else were to find out... By all means, let me know.” And that was all there was about me before we moved on to something else that I didn’t care about.

Shopping was boring as fuck. I bargained for stuff, bought some stuff, ate a bagel, and nothing of note happened.

The picnic is when things went to shit. I was very much looking forward to turning back, at that point. Pretending to be Rarity was fucking tiresome as hell. I learned how well I didn’t know her and her history when I started talking to her friends. I was able to fake having had a long day to pass some of it off, but I had a bad feeling that I would be losing the damn competition based on that alone.

I knew I should have had her hang out with some of the friends I had. Christ.

But the picnic was almost over when a certain purple dragon and a filly came sprinting our way. I knew something was wrong instantly from the look on Taya’s face, and the paper Spike was holding gave me a hint as to what the problem was. God fucking dammit, Celestia. Why today, of all days?

Spike immediately ran to Twilight, shoving the paper at her and breathing deep. Taya ran to me, trying to catch her breath. Note to self, take Taya jogging. “What’s going on?” I asked, still hoping the situation could be salvaged.

“Rarity... teleported... Celestia!” Taya panted.

Nope, this can’t be salvaged. “Fu—”

“Girls, we have to go!” Twilight shouted, waving the letter from Celestia around.

“What’s the problem?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Princess Celestia needs us to do something. We need to leave right away!”

To straight up lose, or to keep the game going... “Girls, what about Taya here?” I said before any of them could move. “Celestia apparently teleported her father away with no warning. Should we really leave her here without a guardian?”

“Hm... Taya, would your father be okay with that?” Twilight asked.

“He would be if we left him a message!” Taya quickly answered.

Twilight nodded. “Spike, if Nav gets back before we do, let him know that we took Taya with us. And tell him not to worry, she’ll be safe. Now let’s go, girls! We have a train that’s leaving in ten minutes to catch!” Twilight immediately began trotting to the train station. Most of the girls followed her.

I looked down to Sweetie Belle. “Welp, this went to shit.” Spike did one hell of a double take when he heard that. “Yeah, Spike, I’m Nav in Rarity’s body. Don’t ask. She’s in mine.”

“...How?”

“If Celestia summoned her, it’s for sex. A lot of it. I’ll see you when we get back. Sweetie Belle, do whatever. Taya, come on.”

“What about Rarity?” Sweetie called as Taya and I galloped to catch up to the group.

“Damn these legs, fuck not having wings, and screw this shitty body,” I panted as we ran. Taya didn’t answer. I think she was too preoccupied with trying to keep up. Thankfully, the train station wasn’t far from where we were. The rest of the girls were already waiting for us.

“C’mon, Rarity!” Dash somewhat testily said. “I knew I should have made you come with me to the gym.”

“Forgive me for taking the time to tell Sweetie what was going on and ask her to feed my cat, Rainbow. Next time I’ll just leave her behind with nary a word.”

“Sheesh, sooorry!”

I sighed. “I apologize, Rainbow. I was just so much looking forward to this week off. I’m sure whatever the princess is asking us to do is important, but I just wish I could spend some more time relaxing.”

“Well you don’t need to worry too much, Rarity,” Twilight said with a smile. “If all goes well, we should be back home in two days. And I don’t think this task will be that hard at all.”

“Well what is the job?” Applejack asked.

“The letter didn’t say,” Twilight answered, shrugging. “Just that we were to get on the train going to Detrot and go to the governor’s mansion when we got there. She promised that it wouldn’t be too taxing for anypony with our skills!”

“...Detrot?” I hesitantly asked.

Twilight nodded happily, not seeming to be concerned in the slightest. I shared a look with Applejack, probably the only member of the group that knew much of anything about the world. Pinkie looked excited, Fluttershy looked somewhat confused, and Rainbow Dash looked bored.

“Uh, Twi?” Applejack started. “Are we, uh... gonna have any kinda guards?”

“Of course not. Why would we need them?”

“Detrot has a bad reputation, dear,” I answered. “I’ve heard it’s one of the few places in mainland Equestria with any kind of noticeable crime rate.”

“Oh, I’m sure we’ll be fine! Now let’s all get aboard before the train leaves us behind.” Applejack and I shared one last worried glance before we all entered the train.

Our first look at the grand city of Detrot told me everything that I needed to know. The first word that came to my mind when I saw the outer layer of houses was empty. There were people there, but not many. I could tell that many of the houses hadn’t seen any manner of upkeep in some time. This might be just like Detroit.

I resolved to keep an eye on Fluttershy and Taya while we were there. The others could take care of themselves. If we were only supposed to be there for two or three days, there shouldn’t be any problems. But I’d rather not risk it.

“Taya, don’t go into town,” I told her in a quiet voice, trying not to let the others hear. “God, if I knew we were going to Detroit, I wouldn’t have brought you.”

“What’s so bad about this place?” she just as quietly asked.

“Crime. And a lot of it. If we’re going to be staying in the governor’s mansion, we will only leave that place in order to do whatever we’re here for and to go back to the train station.”

“I can protect you!”

“The best fight is the one you don’t have. There’s nothing in this place that I’m interested in, so we won’t risk anything. We can talk more later. That’s enough scheming for now.” She just shrugged and we went back to watching the necropolis slowly grow closer in the window.

When we got to the large and relatively opulent governor’s mansion, there was no time wasted: We were immediately ushered into a sitting room where the corpulent governor awaited, seated in a chair. A bodyguard stood behind him, to his right.

“It’s a pleasure to see you, ladies,” he said, not standing. The smile he was wearing didn’t reach his eyes. I swear I saw Applejack seem to flinch back from him, as though he had a physical presence that hurt her.

“Likewise, Governor Silver Dollar,” Twilight said with her diplomatic tone. “I’m Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia’s personal student. These are Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie—”

“Hi!” Pinkie shouted, bouncing in place.

“—Rarity, and Fluttershy. Oh, and that’s Taya. How can we help you?”

“Oh, I can think of a number of ways,” he answered, stroking his double chin with a hoof. “But Celestia sent you here as her representatives at an unveiling ceremony scheduled tomorrow. It will be the first time the Magiguard statue will be displayed for all to see!”

I think every single one of us in that room—aside from maybe Pinkie—was offended by that for a number of different reasons. Applejack facehooved. Fluttershy got a strange look on her face.

“We came all this way for a buckin’ statue?!” Rainbow Dash practically yelled. “I thought you said this was important, Twilight!”

Indiscreet as always... Twilight herself looked somewhat unhappy about being here over a fucking statue, but indecisiveness ruled her face. On one hand, Celestia said it was important. On the other hand, it was obviously just busy work.

The governor came to her rescue. “Oh, but it is important! Do you know, Miss Dash, who the Magiguard is?”

“Psh, no. It sounds stupid.”

“He is a guard that was almost killed in the line of duty. However, the medic mages we had were able to keep him alive, to rebuild him with magic. He is held together almost entirely by magical constructs. He was the first and only pony the procedure worked on. Since then, he’s made a big name for himself here in Detrot, stopping a number of criminals.”

“So we’re here for a stupid statue,” Rainbow Dash sighed. “And we can’t get out of it.”

“I’m sure Princess Celestia had a reason for sending us, girls!” Twilight hastily said, trying to keep morale up in her little group.

“It’s just two days,” I said. “Maybe a change of scenery will be nice. But I’m sure the governor has business he needs to attend to. If you could just have somepony show us to our rooms...?”

“Of course, of course... But I only have six rooms available. I was told to expect only six of you...”

“Taya will be staying with me,” I quickly said. All the girls looked to me in relative shock. “Well, it was my idea to bring her. I will take responsibility for her. It’s only fair.”

“Is that alright with you, Taya?” Twilight asked.

“I don’t mind,” she answered. “It’s just two days.”

They all shrugged. The fat fuck on the chair clopped two hooves together. A maid in an extremely skimpy outfit appeared at the door. “Take these mares to their rooms, please,” he ordered.

“Of course, Master,” she said, doing some approximation of a curtsy. I have got to get Doppel one of those outfits. I like those stockings. “Follow me, please,” she said, looking to us. We did so, leaving that room behind. I could feel his eyes on our backs as we left.

“Lecherous slimeball,” I whispered when we were far enough away.

“You feel it, too?” Applejack asked. “There’s something about that stallion... Felt like a kick to the gut as soon as he opened his mouth.”

“That’s not very nice to say about somepony you just met,” Pinkie said, looking at me. “Don’t you want to be his friend?”

“You are welcome to attempt to be his friend, Pinkie,” I said. “But I implore you not to make the attempt when alone with him.”

She sighed and looked away. “Okay...” We continued through the mansion in silence, the mood brought down by what Applejack and I said. For the record, the maid heard every word and didn’t say anything.

At least the rooms we were given were quite nice, if somewhat dark in themes. Taya and I had settled in to relax when there was a knock at my door. It opened, presumably by Taya’s magic. In walked Twilight. “Me and the girls were thinking about exploring the city. Do you two want to come?”

“I think I’d prefer to stay here,” I answered. “Something about this city makes me feel uneasy.”

“I’m staying,” Taya said.

Twilight sighed. “I guess it’s just me, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie... Applejack and Fluttershy don’t want to explore either.”

“Well have fun, Twilight. And do be safe. Maybe if you three don’t run into any trouble, I’ll join you tomorrow.”

“Alright. I’ll see you two in a few hours.” And so the door closed, leaving me and Taya alone.

“Now what?” she asked.

“We chill. Not much else to do. I refuse to leave this place without an armed escort and I’m not going anywhere near the sleazeball governor. Neither are you. So we’ll just chill here. Thankfully, this room has a bookcase. Let’s see what we’re left with...” I hopped off the rather expansive bed and walked over to the case, perusing the titles. Most of them were books that I had read before. After living four years in a library without being able to sleep, there weren’t that many books I hadn’t read.

“Anything good?” Taya asked.

“Well, unless you want me to read you a story, the only books here that I haven’t read are boring fucking history books. Plenty for you to read, I guess. Nothing here by me.” I lifted a hoof to grab one before I realized what I was doing. After sighing, I dropped my hoof and used magic to pull one of the books out, tossing it to the bed for Taya. “Have fun.”

“...Don’t you want to read to me?”

I looked back to her, relatively confused. “You actually want me to read to you?”

“Daddy, I know you. It’ll take you hours to remember to use magic to turn the pages. It’s either you read to me and I turn the pages or I read and you destroy a book and get angry.”

“Alright. I guess if anyone walks in, it’ll be easy enough to pawn off as Rarity being Rarity.” I walked back over to the bed and hopped on it. I curled up and looked at the book, trying to open it. Nothing happened.

Taya giggled. “Opening something is different from lifting, daddy. I’ll handle it. After I... Well, don’t move.” She started moving around the bed until she was right in front of me. I felt something in my horn and then felt my body being pushed. I didn’t really have much of a way to fight back as Taya pushed me to my side before lying down next to me, pushing her back against my stomach, essentially making her spoon me. “There. Now curl your tail up.”

“...What’s the point of this?” I asked as I moved my tail.

“To get comfortable, of course. Isn’t this nice?”

“Feels kind of awkward. I can’t even look you in your eyes.”

“Daddy, you almost never look anyone in the eyes anyway. Now let’s do this.” I felt that weird resonating feeling again as the book pulled over to us and opened up.

“Alright. Once upon a time...”

...I was very grateful for Taya’s company that night. Without Flo to guard my subconscious mind, the nightmares returned. There are some things that people just can’t face on their own, like it or not. I don’t think Taya was overly happy to be used as a teddy bear for the night, but she didn’t complain.

Taya and I were able to avoid leaving the mansion until the damn ceremony for the stupid statue the next day. Not that not leaving was necessarily a good thing, though; the governor was a pervert and the only reason we were spared his leering glances was because we stayed in our room. I had to comfort Fluttershy as she was propositioned by the guy and freaked the fuck out.

I shudder to think of what might have happened if Applejack hadn’t been with her when it happened. As it was, I think the only reason the governor didn’t get his shit kicked in was because of his bodyguard.

But anyway, the ceremony. The apparently famous guard himself ended up sitting next to me on the row of chairs behind the governor’s fat ass as he gave a speech that I didn’t pay attention to. I have to say, the guard looked very much like a pony version of Robocop.

“So how long have you been a guard?” I whispered to him.

“Three hundred years,” he quietly answered back.

Shit, man. I wonder how long that magic will sustain him... “What do you think of Detrot?”

“It’s a trashy city full of horrible ponies with a corrupt leader. I made it my life’s work to clean it up and I’m failing.”

“Oh... Have you heard of somepony named Sir Navarone?”

“Yes I have.”

“What do you think of him?”

“He’s a tool that thinks so highly of himself that he believes he’s above the law. If he ever sets hoof in this city, I will have him arrested immediately for several counts of murder, assault, blackmailing, sexual deviancy, foal neglect, public indecency, and anything else I can think of at the time.”

That was the end of that conversation.

Taya and I didn’t have much time to settle into our room back at the mansion before there was a knocking on our door again. Twilight poked her head in. “Taya, I just found out there’s an old magic aberration in this area! That spot would be an excellent place to teach you about magical vibrations. Let’s go!”

Taya looked to me, a conflict visible in her eyes. I nodded to her. “Go on, dear. I need to stay here in case Fluttershy needs me. I don’t want to risk her being alone.”

“Of course, Rarity,” Twilight said. “Come on, Taya. We need to leave soon or we might not have time to study much!” Taya hopped off the bed and trotted to the door. With a final backwards glance to me, they both left.

Five minutes after they departed, I hopped off the bed and walked to the door, opening it and going into the hall down to Fluttershy’s room. She really had been broken up and I was hoping she’d get better. I knocked on the door and didn’t get an answer. After a few seconds, I used magic to gently push it open. She was curled up on the bed, asleep. She wouldn’t mind seeing me when she woke up, so I let myself in and eased the door shut.

I spent some time reading before there was another knock. I opened the door with magic, though it seems this time it woke Fluttershy up. “There you are, Rarity!” Rainbow Dash said, smiling. “Me, Applejack, and Pinkie were about to go out. Pinkie actually managed to find a club that she thought would be interesting. You two wanna go?”

“Thank you, but no,” I calmly said. “I’m not much one for the ‘club’ scene. Fluttershy?”

“I... I think I wouldn’t mind going. As-as long as somepony stays with me.” Now that was shocking.

“Are you sure?” I asked.

“Really?” Dash said at the same time.

“I don’t want to be here,” she whispered, looking away.

“Well, if you’re sure...” I said. “By all means, have fun. I think it would do you some good.”

“You sure you want to stay here alone?” Dash asked, looking at me.

I smiled. “You underestimate me, Rainbow. If anypony tries anything on me, they will very sorely regret it. I’ll be fine. You girls go out, have a good time. I wouldn’t mind having some time to myself to relax.”

“If you say so. C’mon, Fluttershy. I’ll teach you how to dance!” I smiled at that image in my mind, the graceful Fluttershy pulling dance moves on a club floor. Out they went, leaving me alone in the mansion of the lecher.

Before I could help myself, I immediately thought of the phrase that has proven to be the bane of my existence: What’s the worst that could happen?

I found out half an hour later from the knocking on my door. I opened it with magic, hoping it would be Taya and Twilight, back from their expedition.

It was the governor. Oh boy, here we go.

“Ah, Governor Dollar!” I said, hopping off the bed. “What a surprise. How can I help you?” He let himself inside, squeezing his bulk around the door. His bodyguard followed him.

“Miss Rarity, has anypony ever told you that you were beautiful?” the fat fuck asked, grinning in a way he might have thought was charming.

“I’ve been told that before, yes,” I answered, having a bad feeling I knew what was coming.

“And I... I am a stallion with many connections, many friends,” he slowly said. I saw the bodyguard closing the door behind the governor, cutting off the only escape route that didn’t involve jumping out a window from the third floor. “I can make your life in Ponyville very easy. Or you could move here and be served anything you could desire.”

“You don’t say. Well this has been interesting, but—”

“Please, Rarity, you haven’t heard my offer.”

“I think I can make a guess as to what it is.”

“Give yourself to me and I’ll give you anything your heart could desire.”

“I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” I said, my tone dropping to ice cold.

“Please re—”

“I am not a harlot. I will not be treated like one.”

He snorted. “You aren’t? Not some tarted up whore? I have dirt on you, Rarity. Dirt that would ruin your name.” While he was talking, I looked over to a desk, where a maid had left a pitcher of water. When he said that last word, I used magic to propel the pitcher at him, drenching him.

“Get out!”

His eyes opened wide in surprise before narrowing. “You’re going to regret that. Guard, hold her down. She has enough holes for both of us.”

I have to say, I wasn’t expecting him to actually try raping me. But of course, I had planned for it. Sort of.

My horn grew hot and my vision dimmed as lightning shot out of my horn, slamming into the governor’s body and reacting with the water I splashed on him. He began screaming in pain as he was cooked. I felt a cruel smile coming to my face as blood started seeping from his eyes and brain matter leaked from his ears.

When I couldn’t hold the spell any longer, I let it go. The governor immediately collapsed, his blackened fur smoking and his body spasming in its death throes. I looked to his side to see what happened to the bodyguard that should have been caught in the chain effect of the lightning.

Where the bodyguard had been was a changeling lying on his stomach, immobilized. The spell I cast was supposed to just stun, but since the other guy was covered in water and because I poured so much hate into the spell, I think it reacted just a little stronger than it should have.

I walked over to the changeling and kicked him onto his back, putting my hoof on his throat. He looked up at me with the eyes of an intelligentsia, fear evident in his gaze. After some thinking, I said, “Intelligentsia, sentient, drone.”

His mouth dropped and his eyes widened. When he didn’t answer, I pressed down harder. “Urk! E-egg, larva, f-f-foal!”

I relieved some of the pressure. “What are you doing here, changeling?”

“S-spying on the governor!” His eyes darted to the corpse on the floor before darting back to me.

“I see. How many mares has he done this to?”

“Too many...”

“Interesting. And how does he never get caught?”

“S-soundproofed walls. And he has blackmail material on everypony!”

“Hm. How much of his staff is made of changelings?”

“Just me, I swear!”

“Excellent. I have a proposition for you, changeling. You see, having this body on my floor puts me in... somewhat of a bad situation. So what you are going to do is get rid of the body and then pretend to be the governor for one month before you return to your hive. And what I am going to do is not tell anyone that you’re a changeling and that you helped the governor rape ponies. Do we have a deal?”

“I-if I refuse?”

“Then I fear I’ll have even more of a mess to clean up. Changeling blood is hard to get out of carpets, after all.” I emphasized my position by pressing down more on his throat.

“Q-q-questions! I have questions!”

“Very well, bug. You may ask.” I relieved some of the pressure.

“Why a month? Why not just hide the body and leave?”

“Because it would be linked to this visit. A month gives the body time to rot and time for suspicion not to be on us.”

“What’s stopping you from betraying me, from telling on me anyway?”

“The reason I knew the spy’s code words.”

“Which is?” I narrowed my eyes and pushed down on his throat again. “N-n-never mind!” I eased back. “What if I stay as governor? If I don’t go back to the hive?”

“Then I go to Celestia. Your governor friend was an idiot. He seems to have forgotten that I am an element of harmony. I have the ear of the princess herself. If he had laid a hoof on me, he wouldn’t have lived long enough to regret it. If I find out that you’re still here after a month has passed, you will be ousted as a changeling, arrested, put on trial, and bad things will happen.”

“What if—”

I shut him up by pushing against his throat again. “Enough questions. Get this body out of my room and assume your position, governor.” I stepped off him, backing away. When I did so, I realized something that I’m glad I didn’t notice before: This bug had a small hard-on going. I blinked in surprise before grinning darkly. “Oh, does somepony get off to the idea of a big, strong mare dominating him? Holding him down and teaching him who’s boss, who swings the cock around?” The changeling’s face turned bright green as he blushed, averting his eyes. “I bet you’d love me to force you down and make you face-fuck me, wouldn’t you?” His breathing was starting to pick up. I snorted. “Well, you’d never please me with that tiny prick. I suggest you hide it before I decide to teach you what a real one is like. Now get out of my sight.”

He actually whimpered before rolling over, his tail between his legs to hide his shame. I glared at him the entire time he rolled the massive body into a carpet and began dragging it out, his small buggy erection flopping around until he turned into the bodyguard again. God, if only I had a strap-on... Soon enough, I was alone in the room, the smell of burned fur still hanging in the air. I opened the window with magic, hoping to air the room out some before Taya got back.

When she did get back, I couldn’t smell it anymore, but her face scrunched up. “What’s that horrible smell?” she asked, stepping into the room.

“Close the door. We might have a problem and it would be good for you to know what’s going on.” She did so, stepping further into the room. “First, don’t get mad.” She blinked in surprise. “Alright, the governor and his guard tried to rape me.” Her mouth fucking dropped. “I killed the governor.” It’s a good thing her mouth was already down, because it would have fallen again. “His guard was a changeling. I made an arrangement with him to ensure his silence and that the body wouldn’t be found.”

She stood there in shock for nearly thirty seconds before her mouth closed and her eyes narrowed, an expression that I was sadly getting used to. “I’m not leaving you alone again. You could have gotten hurt!”

“Yep. I’m not going to be in a room without someone I know until I turn back. The only reason I was able to do what I did was because I flung water at him before using that lightning spell you taught me. Also, I’m really tired. Is that an effect of spellcasting or something?”

“Magic is like a muscle. If you don’t use it often, it’ll be weak and using it will tire you out quickly. Rarity is used to using a lot of weaker magic, things that don’t exercise her magic. Using enough lightning to actually kill someone... You’re going to sleep well tonight, daddy.”

“Well that’s certainly good to hear. You think anyone would mind if I turned in early?”

“Daddy, the sun’s barely even gone down.”

“Like I give a fuck. I’m going to sleep. If you want, you can stay up and do magic things with Twilight. If she asks, just tell her that I was tired.”

“No, I’m not leaving you while you’re asleep. Not after both last night and what happened today.”

“I appreciate that, Taya. It... means a lot to me.”

“You guard my dreams, daddy. It’s only fair that I get to help guard yours.”

That actually made me feel more at ease. It didn’t do much to stop the nightmares, though.

Breakfast the next morning was somewhat awkward. Fluttershy refused to go anywhere near the governor or even look at him. Every time he looked at me, he quickly averted his gaze, blushing.

We left immediately after eating, not even bothering to say any goodbyes to anyone there. Every one of us wanted to get home quickly for some reason or another. Fluttershy, to feed her critters and to put the events behind her. Applejack, to reassure her family that she was okay. Dash needed to catch up on the job she left behind. I think Twilight really wanted to ask Celestia just what the hell she was thinking, sending us to a place like that.

And I wanted my motherfucking body back.

When we all got off the train, Fluttershy, Applejack, Taya, and I all started walking down the path out of town.

“You know that either of us could drop her off, right?” AJ said, looking at me.

“I’m aware,” I answered. “If Navarone is home, I would like to talk to him. He asked me to make something for him and I want to make sure I have a few details right before I begin.” And if he isn’t there, I’m going to strangle a certain white horse.

Applejack and Fluttershy split off on the paths to their homes while Taya and I continued on to my large fort. The place seemed too empty without anything in the yard or the naga around doing what he does.

However, the human body sitting in the armchair in the living room made the place feel alive enough for me. “Thank God, you’re here,” I sighed.

Rarity slowly turned her head to look at me. “Can we... talk?” she whispered.

“Sure. Taya, go make sure the circle thing in the cellar is still ready. Wait for us down there.”

“Are you sure, daddy?”

“Yes, Taya. I’ll be fine.” She cast a suspicious glare at Rarity before trotting to the kitchen. I slumped onto my couch, tired beyond all reason. Tired of having a pony body, tired of pretending to be Rarity, tired of bad sleep. “Welp,” I sighed.

“...So do you even want to judge this anymore?” Rarity asked, her entire body slumped into the chair.

“Doesn’t matter. I broke a few rules.”

“Me too... This was a horrid few days, Nav. I say we never speak of them again.”

“Before we agree to that, I want to know what happened. Hell, I’ll even tell you what I went through, if you’re interested.”

“I’d... rather not know, I think. Well, which rules did you break?”

“The no leaving Ponyville one. And then the no violence one. I electrocuted the shit out of someone. Blackmailed the witness into staying silent. You know how it is.”

“...I’d rather not know what happened. But given some of what I did and some of what I said, it’s only fair I tell you some things.”

“Oh God... What you ‘said’? Did you promise something?”

“Well, if a certain minty mare and changeling come by asking about that threesome I said you would join, feel free to thank me.”

I sighed, facehooving. “I don’t do anything with couples. God dammit, Rarity...”

“Well, how was I supposed to know that? From what I’ve seen, you don’t discriminate in any other ways!”

“Fluttershy.”

“...Fair enough. While we’re on this subject, I have something to tell you about a certain filly, Diamond Tiara.”

“She has an unrequited crush on me and a fetish for feeding me foods or giving me water tainted with her sex fluids. I already knew. What I’m more interested in is what happened after you got the note from Celestia.”

“Nav, if you knew that filly had a crush on you, why didn’t you do anything about it?”

“What am I supposed to do? Take her on a date? Shoot her down? Or God forbid, tell her father? It’s a childish crush brought on by greed, I imagine. She’ll get over it.”

“Very well. After these few days, I’m not going to pretend to know how to live your life for you.”

“Good. Now what happened?”

She sighed. “It all began when I got the letter from Spike...”

Spike held up the letter, panting. “Fresh from the princess, Nav!” he enthusiastically said, almost as happy as he was to serve you as he used to be me.

“Thank you, Spike. Any clue what it is?”

“No, but I know I have another one to deliver and she wants a response, so can you hurry it up?”

I shrugged—what is it with you and that motion, anyway?—and opened the letter with my fingers. Taya seemed to lean up, trying to read the letter from beside me. Given that it was from the princess to me—or you, I suppose—I didn’t let her get a look at it.

“Princess Celestia needs me?” I muttered after a moment. “But it doesn’t say what she needs.” Well, I’m sure I’ll have time to respond and find Navarone before transportation gets to me. “It just says to send the letter back if I can help her. So here you go, Spike.” I passed the letter back to him.

With a hot green flash, the letter disappeared, swirling away with a small foggy effect that I had never noticed before. “Now I just gotta find Twilight. Do you know where she is?”

I took a moment to look at the large clock tower before responding, “She’s probably at a picnic in the park right now. I need to talk to Rarity, so I’ll walk with y—Oh Celestia!” I had time to exclaim before being teleported to some unknown destination. “P-princess!” She was standing right in front of me, wearing a smile I don’t think I had ever seen on her before. “I... I thought you were going to send a chariot!”

Is it bad that the first thought in my head was that I just lost the competition for sure? That it didn’t even cross my mind what she wanted?

“Well, I was in a hurry,” she answered, slowly walking to me. When I had the peace of mind to look away and around, I saw that we were in some bedchamber I wasn’t familiar with. “I should be dealing with a small event right now... but I sent Twilight and her friends to deal with it instead. Twilight’s so easy to pawn my busy work on... Anything to please her teacher. And she gives even the most unimportant task I give her all of her thought. So useful.”

My mind almost froze at what she said. “B-busy work?”

“Of course. Can you believe I actually got her and her friends to take care of sending a dragon on his way some years ago? I could have done it in hours, but instead I pawned it off on her and her friends to take a nice long bath.”

She’s been using us! That... that whorse!

I opened my mouth to give her a piece of my mind, but when I did so, something slipped inside, her horn glowing. Whatever was inside my mouth wrapped around the back of my head, tightening and choking off my response. “Well, I needed another break,” she continued huskily, still smiling and drawing up close to me. I saw then that she wasn’t wearing her tiara, her shoes, or her necklace. My eyes widened as I had a realization and I looked down to see the ballgag in my mouth. “Yes, my little human... I think it’s time for another of our little trysts. After all, I still need some... heh, revenge for those pictures you gave to the newspaper.”

I knew I wasn’t a pony anymore, but I could practically feel my ears twitching in horror. I began backing away, trying to pull at the gag on my mouth to tell her no, that I wasn’t who she thought I was, that she didn’t want anything from me... but I tripped over a bed, falling down onto it.

“It’s only a shame that I didn’t think to get your gender stones... I’ve heard you picked up a thing for stallions. Oh well.” Her horn lit up brighter and I felt my shoes tug off, followed by my socks. I tried holding onto the pants, but she pulled my hands away like I was but a foal. When I shook my head, she stopped for a moment, pulling the gag away from me. “Is there a problem?”

I didn’t really want to tell her that I was Rarity and that she just said what she said about Twilight in front of me. And I couldn’t think of anything else to say... So I just went with the age-old excuse all mares have used at least once in their life. “I have a headache!”

Her smile deepened as the gag blocked my mouth again. “Good thing sex is a painkiller.”

Oh Celestia, why... My pants ripped off, revealing your shame for all the world to see. What happened next is...

Rarity broke out of her stupor. “It... I don’t think I can talk about it, Nav.”

“I’ve been through worse. Trust me when I say that the only way to get over it is to tell someone else. And really, who else are you gonna tell? Celestia’s the law of the land and everyone but me, Cadance, Shiny, and her sister think of her as a motherly ruler. And you, I guess. Going over it in detail is the only way to start getting over it.”

She was silent for almost a minute before she continued talking.

(Sex is coming up. If you want to skip it, ctrl+f “Sex is over”)

When she got my pants off, her smile turned wicked. “I’ve been needing this for a while now. I should have arranged it sooner.” Her horn lit up even brighter, like the sun she was so famous for, before it died off. In Celestia’s place stood a giantess, a human that would have stood around half a meter over me had we been standing. “Oh, I am going to enjoy ravishing you yet again.”

My impossibly wide eyes seemed to grow even wider as she forced my hands up, sliding the shirt off my body. Soon, I was entirely exposed to her groping eyes. She smirked at my attempts to cover myself with the blanket, her horn lighting up and holding me rigid. I still managed to flinch as I felt something caress a fleshy protrusion that I hadn’t until then been paying much attention to.

“I hope you don’t mind if we skip some of the frivolities. Normally I’d spend more time toying with you, but I really need it. And so, it seems, do you...” My eyes flicked down to my rising... ahem, member. Why are you betraying me? Stay down! I heard a faint giggling, but I don’t think Celestia’s mouth moved... The rest of her did, though, as she fell onto her knees on the bed, crawling on top of me and pinning my arms down as I tried to push her away.

“Isn’t this nice, Nav? Just you and me, on a bed, like old times. We haven’t done this nearly enough recently. Shall we let the games begin?” Before I could frantically shake my head, her hands let go of my arms and moved to my wings, each finger jamming onto an epicenter of pleasure, making my eyes roll back as I moaned into the gag. “Oh my, feeling vocal tonight? Maybe you’ll actually let me hear your pleasure for once.”

W-what? Is this what pegasi feel? As that thought left me, she lowered a certain other part of her anatomy onto me, molding her blooming flower bud onto my stem. I... I’m ashamed to admit that I might have blanked from the pleasure for a moment, the intense feelings of warmth and tightness sucking me in. The utter wrongness of the situation left me for a critical moment... And I forgot that I was being raped.

Celestia breathed in deep when we were connected. “Ooooh, I needed this,” she whispered, adjusting herself slightly, sending waves of pleasure through the organ holding us in place. Her fingers on my wings began pumping, adjusting the pressure on me constantly, bringing me to a higher state of arousal than I’d felt in years.

After a few seconds of grinding, she slid her hips up, making me moan at the pulling sensation I felt.

“I quite like-ohh-this new you! Keep those sexy little moans up, Nav.”

Why does everything I do turn her on!? I tried just closing my eyes and pretending it wasn’t happening, but as she continued riding me, I felt my hips slowly start moving in tune with hers! My hips are moving on their own! Once again, I heard the giggling in my head, but it didn’t sound like Celestia’s.

Before I could put any more thought into it, I felt Celestia grab one of my hands, still going at a pace that was driving me mad. I opened my eyes to see what new horrors she would force onto me, only to find her placing my hand on one of her rather generous teats that were almost at my face’s level. “Rub at the nipples,” she demanded, moving her hand back to my wings.

I... I was afraid of what she would do if I didn’t. Ignoring the horror and the growing wet pleasure between my legs, I used my fingers to rub at the soft nubs on her chest. She moaned so low I almost mistook it for a growl and it nearly made me stop.

Then I remembered that I was dealing with Princess Celestia of Equestria, who could turn me inside out if I didn’t give her what she demanded. I silently gulped down some of the drool that was forming in my mouth and tweaked at her nipples, rubbing them and occasionally pulling them. As I did that, her speed picked up and she began pounding at me harder, the pleasure in my mind building to some horrific crescendo.

Honestly, looking back, I don’t know how I held on as long as I did. I know about male virgins. Maybe it was the horror or maybe it’s different for humans, but I think I lasted maybe two minutes before both Celestia’s eyes and my eyes opened wide. A squeal of sorts escaped my mouth as my mind and member both exploded, coating her insides and thighs with sticky seed.

Celestia pulled away, pushing herself back so she could look down on me with her look of shock. “Already? I’m... disappointed in you, Nav.” She sniffed and rolled away from me. “Well, I suppose it happens to every stallion eventually.” I wanted to move, to pull the gag off and tell her the truth and beg for forgiveness, but I couldn’t do anything but lie there as the afterglow consumed me.

I’ll never question a stallion falling asleep after again... And I don’t think I’ll ever call a certain human a slut anymore, not if that is what stallions feel.

Celestia patted me on the arm. “I’ll go get cleaned up while you recover. Pawning that task off gave me a few days off... I hope you’re ready for a long week, Nav. I’ll give you plenty of chances to make up for this.”

My eyes shot open wide as I struggled to move, to do anything, but her horn lit up as she walked away and previously unseen ropes jerked my arms and legs down to the bed, holding me in place.

She just chuckled as she closed the door to the bathroom, leaving me to give up in silence, mentally readying myself for the worst few days I’ve had in a long, long time.

(“Sex is over”)

“I... I can’t say anymore, Nav. I just can’t.”

“Understandable.”

“Nav, is... is she always like that?”

“Not usually so demanding, no. And she usually lets me at least talk. I guess she wasn’t in the mood to hear it this time. Hey, at least Luna didn’t get you. God, if you had consented to anything with her, I’d be so pissed. And you’d probably be in pain.”

“So... you’re not mad?”

“A little disappointed that you got to have all the fun, but not mad. I just want my body back. You ready to go downstairs and get this over with?”

“My hips... ache. I’ll have to lean on you to walk down the stairs.”

“I’m okay with that.” I hopped off the couch and walked over to her, letting her pull on me to stand up. Together, we walked to the kitchen and down into the dark basement.

Thankfully, the circle was still drawn out on the floor, pristine as it had been when we left. All three of us walked to it, settling inside it. “Taya, if you would,” I said.

I felt a resonance in my horn that told me magic was being cast nearby. A second later, I found myself in a much smaller body. I sagged, finding that I was now in Taya. If I had to guess, I’d say that she was in me and Rarity was in her body.

“Finally!” Rarity yelled before flinching. “Sweet Celestia am I tired...”

“And not done,” I said. “I’m in Taya’s body. Try again.”

Rarity rolled her eyes and started magicking. Soon enough, I was in the correct body. “Thank God. You two sort it out.” I backed out of the circle, flinching at the pain, and let Rarity’s body cast the spell a final time. “Alright, so it’s settled. We never speak of this again.”

“Agreed,” Rarity answered with a nod. “Now, I think I need to go home and go to bed...”

“Before you leave, I do have a question. What would your order have been, had you won?”

She yawned, tears coming to her eyes. “Simple. A date with Fluttershy. I’ll see you both later.” And with that, she began walking out.

I looked down at the conjuration circle on the floor. “This needs to get gone before the naga gets back. Is it safe for Doppel to fuck with?”

“She’ll be fine,” Taya answered. “But it’s just chalk. We could splash some water on it to get it gone.”

“Hm...” I snatched Taya off the ground and jumped into the pool with her. I had a feeling that after Celestia toyed with my body, I needed a bath anyway. Taya just sighed exasperatedly when we both surfaced.

“You could have stopped it, you know,” I said to Flo that night, chilling in my calm dreamscape. “Rarity getting raped, I mean. You could have warned her what would have happened if she agreed or you could have stepped in when she got there with the right words.”

“I could have. And I could have pulled her into the center, too, so it wouldn’t have been as traumatic. I know what you think of me, Navarone. That I’m inhuman, that I’m above many petty emotions and desires. Like love or hate... or revenge. Yes, I could have helped Rarity. But I think there are many that would say she got what was coming to her. Would you disagree?”

“Hm...” Mercy or justice? After so long in such a peaceful world, it’s hard to decide which is better anymore. Or if something is even a mercy or a justice. “What’s done is done.”

“I know you feel a sense of satisfaction, Navarone. You can’t hide it from me.”

“That doesn’t mean it was right... but it was fitting. Perhaps even fair. Not like it matters anymore. Forget I brought it up.”

“Very well. I feel I should warn you, though... Celestia now thinks you have a fetish for being spanked.”

“...She’s free to try it, but I can guarantee she’ll be the one with the red ass when I get finished.”

“If you say so. Shall we go exploring the dreamscape? I’m sure Luna might be wondering where we went off to.”

“Sure. Not like there’s much else to do. Maybe I can haunt Rarity’s dreams and make her suffer for the threesome I apparently agreed to...”

The next day, I got a somewhat unpleasant surprise of the five wolves showing up in my lawn variety. I was busy minding my own business when Doppel flew up outside the window of the room I was in and slammed against the window, just like a bug. She did that a few more times before I could open it and let her in.

“Yes, Doppel?” I asked, bemused.

She pointed out the window. “We have company.”

I looked out, wondering what kind of company would require her buzzing up to my window instead of walking to my room like a civilized person. When I saw the five wolves standing in a semicircle a few meters from my house, my bemusement disappeared. “I see. Go get Freki.”

“Yes, master,” she hastily said, having seen the look on my face. I grabbed my sword as she was leaving and buckled it on. I didn’t expect to need it, but I didn’t want to take any chances. The armor stayed where it was, because I didn’t want them to think I was going for any kind of hostility.

When I got into the hall, Freki and Doppel were just about at my door. “Come on,” I said, walking down the stairs. They both followed me as I headed back out. “Freki, your family is here,” I said as we walked.

He didn’t make any kind of reply. I opened the door in silence, leading the way out. Doppel closed it behind the two of us, not joining us outside. To be fair, if it did turn violent, she probably would have just gotten in the way.

Freki and I stopped a few meters in front of the wolves and I just crossed my arms, watching them. After a few seconds of waiting, the one in the center stepped forward. “We have come to reclaim what is ours,” it slowly said in a raspy, halting voice.

“One moment.” I knelt down next to Freki. “I can’t take you with me when I leave,” I said. “And this is your family. So you need to go with them. Alright?”

He seemed to sigh, shaking his body slightly.

“I have no idea what that means. But you really can’t stay with me. I know you feel bad when you stay too long in Ponyville. Well, I’m going considerably farther away than Ponyville, soon. You would—” He started walking away, toward the pack. “What are you—” When he got next to them, they all began bounding toward the gate, running off. “...Huh.” Well fine, be that way. I didn’t want to say goodbye anyway…

“He’s a wolf made of wood, Nav,” Flo said. “He honestly doesn’t have much in the way of feelings or a personality at all. And it doesn’t help that you didn’t spend much time with him.”

“Yeah. I don’t know. It just seems like he could still be useful.”

“As a guard dog, nothing more. If his choice is staying with you and being nothing more than a guard or going with his family and… well, being with his family, which would you prefer he take?”

“The one that’s useful to me. But it’s probably for the best,” I said, standing back up and starting to walk back to the door.

“Probably nothing,” Flo said. “It is for the best.”

“Fair enough,” I said at the door, my hand on the handle. That said, though, I couldn’t help but look back, just once. When I did, I heard a low howling, but didn’t see any of them lingering. “For the best…”