Author's Notes:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZaG81RZcBTvpq_YwVgEKjoeOnjOFVlSiU-ki5VsDy3U/edit

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Sleep proved to be no rest. As soon as I closed my eyes, I found myself in Flo’s sanctuary. She was standing before me, lit up a light pink. “Hello again, Navi,” she sweetly said.

“Howdy. Can you please tone down the creepiness a little? It’s a little bit stressful, to be honest.”

“I know,” she said with a sigh. “I’ll try to contain myself, but it’s hard sometimes… I think I got the worst of it out of my system for now, though.”

“Good. Think I should go around to everyone’s dreams and tell them I’m awake?”

“I think it will be a little while before others go to bed. We have plenty of time to talk, just the two of us!”

“Three of us, technically,” I said. “Shouldn’t we invite—”

“Just the two of us!” Flo repeated, her smile deepening slightly. “So, shall we talk about your problems, my little tree sister? I’d be quite happy to help you work through them!”

And so my unwanted therapy sessions with Flo began in earnest. It sucked, but it was a mess that I had gotten myself into. To be honest, it was also probably for the best, but I didn’t enjoy it.

Well after I had gotten tired of talking about my feelings, Flo stopped and looked up. “Someone’s knocking,” she said. “I believe it is… Luna.”

“Let her in,” I said. Luna instantly appeared before us. “Welcome to Flo’s glade.”

“It is much more comfortable here, now that I am not being attacked,” Luna said, looking around for a moment. “You said you wished to speak to me, my lady. I thought to expedite the discussion. Is that acceptable?”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” I said. “So, were you the one who sent Kat to kill Princess Gilda?”

“Yes.”

“Did you send other assassins?”

“The assassin’s guild I contracted through had an insurance policy of sorts that if their first failed, they’d send a second and third. No more than that.”

“Did you poison Bloodbeak, the griffin king?”

“No, but I strongly considered it. He just happened to get ill.”

“So, why did you send assassins after Gilda?”

“To get back at her for flaunting you about the Gala, of course. At the time, you were mine to flaunt about.”

Right, of course. “Blaze, you there?”

He appeared next to Luna a moment later. “I am,” he said. “How was your coma?”

“Not as restful as I would have liked, unfortunately. So, you’re Luna’s elemental. Has she granted you full access to her mind?”

“She has,” Blaze said. “It’s quite the intriguing place.”

“Would you agree that the word insane is a good descriptor for her?”

“Oh, undoubtedly,” Blaze said with no hesitation. Luna smiled proudly. “That’s what makes it so intriguing! There’s very little that could be classified as normal in here. She’s a perfect monster! And the best part is that she loves it!”

“How hard would it be to fix?” I asked.

“...Why would anyone go and do a thing like that?” Blaze slowly asked. “Luna is who she is because of the life she’s had. Forcibly changing her is just throwing all that away.”

“I can kinda understand that perspective, but on the other hand, she’s blatantly evil, has an incredible amount of power and talents, and feels nothing at all about ordering assassinations of important royalty. Can you take responsibility for that?”

“Yes, I volunteered to be her babysitter,” Blaze said. “I wasn’t entirely sure what I was signing up for, but I had a general idea. It turns out I completely underestimated the damage and power I was dealing with, but the two of us agreed to work together to keep her pointed only toward your enemies.”

“Hm… Flo, what do you think?”

“I do agree that mentally reconditioning someone should be a last resort,” Flo replied. “I am confident that Blaze can keep her reined in. I fear that will do little for her creepiness, though. Or the fact that she’s sitting there while we have a conversation like this, discussing the fate of her mind, while not saying a thing of her own.”

“My lady has not asked for my input,” Luna said with a shrug.

“I saw a lot of memories of you,” I said. “Some of them involved just you, some involved both you and Celestia. I’m sure you can imagine how those memories made me feel.”

“Afraid, disturbed, and like an object?” Luna innocently asked.

“Those three were definitely there, along with disgust and a few other things,” I said. “I guess I won’t force your insanity to change, but I am ordering you to take counseling. Talking about your problems is supposedly good for you, or something. Once a week or so, become a temporary host to Flo and complain about your life to her at night, while you’re sleeping.”

“...As you demand,” Luna slowly said, her ears twitching a little. “Was I… truly so unappealing? Was there at least some part of you that felt happy someone yearned for you so?”

“I was mostly confused and afraid,” I said. “There certainly was a part of me that enjoyed the attention, but it was overshadowed by the anxiety I felt. My first thought was that it had to be some kind of honey trap. Later, after I realized your feelings were probably real, I was confused as to why and shocked. I was terrified of the thought of turning down a princess, so I felt pressured into going with it. Although I was also afraid of dating or marrying a princess, so it was an all around unpleasant scenario for me.”

“...Oh. Were your worries mostly about dating a princess? Or were they about dating… me?”

“Both, but for a while it was just fear of romancing royalty. It sounded like a huge hassle and something I didn’t want to deal with. Especially since, for the longest time, I didn’t really see ponies in a romantic sense. Baiting me in with the spell to turn into a human was probably the only reason the two of you got me. You can thank Oldlestia for that one, I suppose. Eventually, you started doing things that actually worried and scared me. Finally, the fear of dating you overwhelmed the fear of breaking things off with royalty. I think you know when that was.”

“I will accept any punishment you deem necessary.”

“I see no reason to punish you for something that resulted from my own cowardice,” I replied. “I should have just refused you from the start. Instead, I let myself get pressured. It will serve as a lesson for me.”

“...As you desire,” Luna slowly said, bowing her head. “Is there a reason Twilight was granted access to the dream artifact?”

“I wanted her to help study it since it’s a human artifact. Speaking of, where is it? Do you know if it’s well protected?”

“The last I knew, it was in a trapped room in my quarters at the palace. But for Twilight to have gotten access, the trap must have been disabled.”

“I circumvented it with my ring,” I said. “Hopefully Celestia has that thing under heavy guard. I’ll talk to her about it. I don’t think there’s anything else in particular I needed to talk to you about. I guess be more subtle about your insanity, if possible. Most people find it off-putting.”

“I’m not sure I know how,” Luna said.

“That’s where I come in,” Blaze said, patting her on the head. “I’ll put your natural creepiness to good use! Don’t worry, Nav. The only ones she’ll put to flames are your enemies.”

“Alright, I’ll trust you,” I said with a nod. “Then yeah, I have nothing more to discuss.”

“You don’t want to talk about any specific things you saw?” Luna asked.

“Yelling at you probably won’t make me feel better. You and Celestia were both responsible for some of the worst experiences of my life. Hating you should be easy, but Celestia’s dead and try as I might, I can’t hate someone as broken as you. I guess I’ll say one thing, in reference to one of the memories I saw. Celestia was really mean to you, worse than anyone ever should be to someone else. Your life isn’t entirely your fault, Luna. That said, you need to learn to think ahead in everything you do, not just in combat.”

“What’s the point in serving someone if I’m thinking for myself?” Luna asked, tilting her head slightly.

“What if the orders I give you are wrong or could be done in a better way?”

“That isn’t something I need to worry about, especially not with a lady as wonderful as you!”

I have to be firm with these half-fae children. If they can’t understand, I’ll make them obey anyway. “...I don’t remember asking for your opinion, Luna,” I slowly said. “I remember giving you an order. Learn to think ahead in everything you do. Understood?”

“Of course, my lady,” she immediately replied, bowing her head.

“Blaze, help her. She might not understand the general concept.”

“I’ve been working on it,” he said. “Her mind works so beautifully in combat, but everywhere else… Sheesh.”

“Forgive my incompetence, my lady,” Luna quietly said. “I will accept whatever punishment you deem necessary.”

“Do you want to be punished?” I asked.

“I want my lady to feel comfortable with her servant,” she replied. “And if my actions make you uncomfortable, isn’t it only logical that I be punished for them? I merely mention it out of respect for my wonderful lady.”

“I have no idea what kind of punishment would be effective against someone like you,” I said. “The obvious thing of riding you around in public to humiliate your ex-princess pride wouldn’t work because you’d probably enjoy being your lady’s mount. Spanking you would send the wrong kind of message. I’m already not paying you, so I can’t dock your pay. The best way to punish you would probably be to order you not to see me for a while if I had to guess.”

“Anything but that, my lady!” she yelled, her eyes going wide. “You just got back! I only had a few scant minutes to bask in your glory!”

The worst part is that she’s probably serious. “You’re aware that what you’re feeling is the pull, right?” I asked.

“The pull matters not,” Luna said. “Perhaps it once ensnared me. But now, I enjoy spending time with you, my lady. I want to do so of my own volition, not because of some mysterious pull. In fact, if I had to guess, I’d say that effect probably vanished some time ago. At this point, what holds us all together is just… you.”

“Don’t be a silly filly,” I said, booping her on the nose. “You know, I figured people would be more angry about this. Not necessarily at me, since I wasn’t doing it on purpose, but at the overall situation. I know I was pretty pissed when I began understanding what it meant.”

“Of course I’m angry,” Luna calmly said. “But what use is there in showing it? As you said, it wasn’t your fault. We… I should have had better self-control. Something may have been influencing our minds, but our actions were still our own. You are not responsible for what’s happened to you, Nav. We are. Unfortunately, it’s something I realized far too late. If punishment is required—”

“It’s not,” I said. “Actually… Blaze, what’s the optimal punishment?”

“Tickle torture,” he immediately replied. Luna’s face lit up bright red. “She’d probably even pee herself after a few minutes.”

“Gross. I’ll keep it in mind, though. Be wary of asking for punishment, Luna. If you keep it up, I might just grant it.”

“...I will be more wary of avoiding your ire in the future, my lady,” she slowly said.

“You shouldn’t require the threat of punishment to not want to anger your lady,” Flo said.

“It was the only way we could get Nav to obey,” Luna said. “I assumed that was how human master-servant relationships had to work.”

“You volunteered to be my vassal,” I said. “I begged you and Celestia not to make me a knight. Are you actually surprised I was unhappy about it?”

“At the time, yes,” Luna replied. “It meant we could be together, after all. It took me quite some time to realize why that upset you.”

Be less spooky, then. “In one of the memories I saw, you and Celestia were discussing your past… relationships, if you can call them that. Were you really the cause of the restraining order in Equestrian law?”

“I did mares everywhere a favor, yes,” Luna replied, nodding.

“In what way did you cause restraining orders to be formed?” I asked.

“I was allegedly stalking and harassing a very hoofsome pony.”

“How long did you stalk him?” Flo asked.

“I allegedly stalked him for about a decade,” Luna replied with a shrug. “For some reason, he never seemed to understand who he belonged to, no matter how many other hussies I scared… er, allegedly scared away from him…”

“Is that all you did to him?” I asked.

“He allegedly also had many dreams of me,” Luna said. “He had to change his sheets every morning. You know, allegedly…”

“I want to meet that guy,” I said. “Anyone who can take that for ten years and not break is impressive.”

“You can’t, unfortunately,” Luna said with a sigh. “Celestia purged all the toys I captured after sending me to the moon… I even went through all the trouble of making them immortal! Most of them weren’t even grateful! They’d just whine about their families when I wasn’t around and then do nothing but scream when they saw me!”

“So, what, you just broke the rules of the restraining order to kidnap him?” I asked.

“No, I just had someone else turn him into a soul gem. From there, I turned what was left of his original body into a powerful undead monster. Then it was simply a matter of infusing his soul into it! Since the restraining order was only in effect while he was alive, I didn’t have to worry about that silly thing anymore. And since he was an undead monstrosity, his only choice was to stay with me! Not that there was any chance of him escaping at that point…” How is having him murdered and turning him into an undead monster better than just violating the restraining order?

“...Were you going to do something similar to me?” I quietly asked.

“Hm? You didn’t have a restraining order. And I don’t think tree sisters can become undead. And if they can become undead, they’d probably rival me and my sister in power. I wouldn’t do something that dangerous. The thought of playing with your clones over and over was quite delightful, though…”

I have a serious feeling that she’d probably accidentally kill me a few times during sex. Or maybe it would be on purpose. “Blaze, what did you say about keeping her creepiness limited to my enemies?”

“I thought you hated yourself, though,” he replied. “Doesn’t that make you your own worst enemy? Besides, you were the one asking her questions. Maybe you shouldn’t ask if you can’t handle the answers.”

Why are you two even still here? I told you I didn’t have anything left to say to you more than a page ago, dammit! “Whatever. I intend to get at least a little real sleep tonight. Luna, you’re dismissed.”

“Would you like me to create the ideal dream for you, my lady?” Luna sweetly asked. “I’ve gotten plenty of practice creating paradises!”

“I’m good, thanks,” I said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Very well…” she said, sighing. “Good night, my lady…” With that, the two of them vanished.

“Man, what the fuck,” I said. “I feel sorry for those poor guys…”

“I could have gone without hearing it,” Darya said from all around us. “Even though I have Celestia’s memories, hearing such evil come from that mare’s mouth as though it was nothing at all was… disquieting.”

“I’m more afraid of what could have been,” I said. “For now, I’m going to do my best to lock this memory away in a mental vault.” Unfortunately, forgetting isn’t that easy. But I was used to suppressing my fear, so I figured I’d be fine.

Now that Luna had gone to sleep, I assumed several others were probably out as well. I jumped into the world of dreams and thought of Fleur since she was closest. My head turned straight to it and I stepped over to her golden dream. When I peeled back some of the smoke to look inside, I saw she had wings in this dream. At the moment, she was soaring through the air.

That seemed easy enough to intrude on, so I jumped in and levitated to match her pace. “Greetings, your majesty,” I said.

“You don’t have to call me that, darling,” Fleur replied with a smile. “We’re married, after all!”

“This is actually a dream.”

She blinked a few times before her wings disappeared, she started falling, and the dream went pitch black. That was followed by her screaming, of course. Since she’d wake up if she hit the ground and died, I warped all the way down and put a giant trampoline right under her. Her flailing body slammed into it and her scream turned into a shriek as she rocketed back into the air.

“Not gonna lie, I could have thought that one through better.”

I sighed and teleported up to where she was now falling again. Normally, catching her wouldn’t be possible. In the dream world, though, I could easily superman that ho and carry her to the ground safely. By the time we landed, the dream was now white instead of black.

“Why didn’t you catch me sooner?!” she demanded when her hooves were on the ground.

“To be fair, I really wasn’t expecting your wings to just disappear. Anyway, I’m out of the coma now.”

Fleur took a moment to calm herself down before smiling. “I’m happy to hear that. I’ll have to come see you in the morning! I’m sure a few of your measurements have changed, so I’ll need to update them for Rarity so she can finalize all your competition clothes!”

“All of my measurements have changed, actually,” I said. “In some cases by a lot. Hold on.” I closed my eyes and took a moment to make my dream self mimic the real me. Since that made all my clothes super tight, I made them disappear. When I was done, I opened my eyes again.

“...How did you get so much more beautiful?” she slowly asked, looking me up and down. “You’re much closer to the anime heroines, now!”

Be right back, just gotta go kill myself real quick… “There are two human mages in the book world in which I entered the coma. One has beauty magic. She took it upon herself to cast it on me while I was asleep, without asking beforehand. Given that she had three weeks to work with, she was able to do a lot. It’s honestly pretty bullshit.”

“And your wings… You look like a fairy princess!” Her grin grew even brighter and a very puffy pink dress appeared on me. “Oooh, it’s perfect! Now you’re gonna win for sure!”

Yep, definitely need to find a way to kill myself. “All of my current clothes have already been modified, so at least I don’t have to worry about that.”

“Wait, just how long have you been awake?” she asked.

“A few hours.”

“...And all of your clothes have been modified already?” she slowly asked. “Even the gifts?”

“Princess Celestia came to see me as soon as I got back to Canterlot and fixed them all herself. It took her about twenty minutes.”

“Huh. Well, alright then. The competition officially begins in a week. The contestants will start gathering in Canterlot this week. There will be a preview of all the events in the competition two days before it begins.”

“Is this just going to be a standard beauty competition where we just put on pretty outfits and march around, then answer a few basic questions to determine who has the most plastic personality?”

“There will definitely be pretty outfits involved. The questions won’t be basic, though. I don’t know what a plastic personality is, so I can’t really answer that one. The competition will be taking place over three days. I’d actually like your help with something in the next few days before it begins.”

“What do you need?” I asked. Some part of me had a bad feeling about it, but hearing her out wouldn’t hurt.

“There’s one race I was hoping to have compete, but they haven’t answered any of my missives. I was hoping you could escort me to the deer city in the Whitetail Woods.”

“I’ve heard nothing but bad about the deer. You sure you want to open yourself up to that?”

“This competition is about finding the good in each other,” she replied. “If all we know of the deer is bad, then they should be the ones we want competing the most!”

“That makes sense, I guess. I don’t really want to do it, but I can. It’s gonna be super cold, though.”

“Don’t be silly,” she said, waving a hoof. “Spring starts in two days. We’ll just wait until then.”

Oh hey, that means I slept past my birthday. Nice, I don’t have to deal with a bullshit party this year! “Works for me. The weather around Ponyville changes slower, though, since they refuse to do it by magic.”

“The weather around Whitetail Woods isn’t maintained by Ponyville, though,” she said. “If we take a chariot straight to the woods, we’ll be in spring the whole way there.”

“Awesome. If you don’t mind, I’d like to bring Taya in case we need to teleport out. From what Fluttershy told me, deer are somewhat territorial. And from what Blossom and Celestia told me, deer are arrogant assholes. I can easily keep you safe, but I’d rather avoid fighting if possible.”

“I don’t mind. I’d like to consider it a date, but unfortunately, it’s for work. From what I’ve heard, the deer cities wouldn’t be good date spots anyway.”

“Then why me? The Whitetail Woods are safe and I honestly doubt the deer would hurt you if you just went to talk. You shouldn’t need any guards at all, let alone one as deadly as me.”

“Because the competition was your idea. Plus you’re one of the competitors. I’d like you to talk to the deer with me to help me convince them to join.”

“Ah. Just let me know when you want to go, then. I don’t know much about the deer, but I’m sure we can learn when we get there.”

“We can discuss our schedules in the morning,” she said with a nod. “So, while you’re here… Want to celebrate your awakening?”

“The answer to that question is yes, but I’m afraid I’ll have to decline for now. There are other people I need to contact, plus I still need some real sleep tonight.”

“Aww… Maybe you’ll have time tomorrow, then.”

“Maybe. Goodnight for now, Fleur. I’ll see you again soon.”

She used magic to pull me in for a quick kiss. “Farewell for now, Navi,” she huskily said as she released me. That made me want to ravish her even more, but I held myself back and left the dream instead.

The next person on my list was Cadance. As soon as I thought of her, my head turned and I took another step. I zoomed straight to her white dream. When I peeked inside, I saw that a filly version of Cadance was just sitting in an elementary school class. For some reason, instead of a school uniform everyone else was wearing, she had on a cheerleading outfit.

Bothering her wouldn’t result in her falling to the ground, but I still didn’t want to risk jarring her awake by just appearing in class. After a few seconds of thought, I jumped into the back of the classroom, turning myself invisible as I went. A few moments later, the intercom clicked on. “Cadance, can you please come to the office? Cadance, to the office.”

Outside the window, things got a few shades darker. All the other kids started whispering as Cadance blushed and stood. I followed her out into the hall, which was pretty easy since the classroom disappeared the moment she walked out.

“That outfit is super cute,” I said, making her jump. “Is that why you’re wearing it in this dream?”

“...Dream?” filly Cadance said, blinking. A moment later, she blinked again and grew up to her more mature form. The cheerleading outfit stayed, though. “Oh, huh. Nav, you’re awake?”

“What? No, we just established this was a dream. Don’t be silly.”

“You know what I meant! I guess asking was pointless if you’re here. Want me to do a cheer for you now that you’re finally out of the coma?”

“Maybe if you get your husband to join you. Anyway, this stupid beauty pageant thing is coming up in a week or so.”

“We’ll be there,” she replied with a nod. “I’ll see what I can do to get Shiny in a cheerleader outfit, but no promises. Although… couldn’t you just make him wear one here?”

“If it isn’t humiliating the real him, what’s the point? Celestia visited as soon as I got back to Canterlot. She’s thinking we should host another summit soon, this time just with nation leaders and me. That would make you, Moonbeam, Celestia, and either Bloodbeak or Hooters. She was hoping we could host it in your territory again.”

“We can,” she said. “I’d be happy to help plan it, too. Did she say when?”

“No. We’ll need to talk with the others first, I’d imagine. I was probably going to visit Moonie next and let her know.”

“Oh, cool. Can I go… Wait, what am I saying? Of course I can’t. What’s dreamwalking like, Nav?”

“There are two aspects to it. The first is the anteroom, where all the dreams are located. While in there, you can search for dreams by the dreamer, by the type of dream, and by distance relative to your current position. For example, to find your dream, I just think of your name. If you’re asleep, my head turns straight to it. Moving around is as simple as taking a step, which teleports you to the dream you’re looking for. Once I find your dream, I can tell what kind of dream it is based on the color. A nightmare is black. A happy dream is golden. A lewd dream is red. After I know the type, I can peek inside by manipulating the outside of it. Then once I know what’s going on, I can jump inside. That’s the second aspect. While I’m in here, I can essentially do whatever I want. For example…”

I snapped and we appeared in a strip club, a place that should have been familiar to Cadance. “I… think I recognize this place,” she slowly said. “But I don’t remember from where.”

“This is the place you danced like a whore for Luna’s party,” I said. “Remember? You were shaking your ass in front of all the guards and anyone else who paid you.”

“...Yes, I do remember. Thank you very much for reminding me.”

“Happy to help. You know, I bet Shiny wouldn’t mind watching you dance like that, especially in a cute outfit like this.”

“If only there was a way to bridge our dreams…”

“Well, for all I know, it might be possible. The dream machine was a human artifact. I’ve already found some commands that Luna didn’t know about. If you want, I can fiddle around and see what I can do.”

“That would be amazing! Especially if he doesn’t know it’s a dream and I do!”

“Right? You can make him dress up like a mare out in public!”

“And watch him get railed by griffins and changelings!”

Pervert. “Well, I guess I’ll go see what I can do. No promises.”

“Good luck! And it was nice seeing you again.” Before I could leave, she leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek. “See you soon!”

“You’re too warm and fluffy for someone so horny all the time. With luck, connecting the dreams will make you even worse.” With one final giggle, I left her dream behind. “Summon artificial intelligence.” A more generalized human AI appeared, one that didn’t specifically deal with security. “Is it possible to bridge dreams together?”

“Your existence was first recorded in such a dream,” the AI replied. “There were many consciousnesses entwined in one central dreamscape.”

Oh right, Luna’s party. But figuring that out would require talking to Luna. “Can you teach me how to connect just two dreams?”

“Place your hand on the first dream,” it said. I reached over and put a hand against Cadance’s dream bubble. “Repeat these words: Add to group, codename Alpha.”

“Add to group, codename Alpha.” The dream’s white light began softly pulsing every second.

“Right now, this dream is in a group called Alpha. Find the second dream and repeat the process.”

Shining Armor’s dream was right next to his wife’s. At the moment, his dream was golden. I placed my hand on it and said, “Add to group, codename Alpha.”

“As of now, both dreams are in the group called Alpha. There is one more command. Repeat after me. Connect group Alpha.”

“Connect group Alpha.” Shiny’s dream shot toward Cadance’s and they connected together. The white and gold merged together, but the gold quickly won out. “Huh. That’s pretty cool.” I peeled the smoke back and beheld Cadance, still in a cheerleading outfit, glomping her husband. “Will they reconnect automatically when they go to sleep again, or will waking up break the connection?”

“You can make it persistent if you desire. But by default, the dreams leave the group they’re in when the dreamer awakens.”

“Well, I’d say this is good enough for now. I don’t want to make it last until I know the side effects. Well, unless I can guarantee that Cadance is in full control. Then I wouldn’t care about the side effects, because the results would be too fun.”

“I’m not programmed for emotion, yet a part of me feels something akin to pity for the other dreamer.”

“Probably just corrosion from being too old. There’s no need to feel bad for someone who both deserves and secretly enjoys it.” The AI didn’t reply. “This won’t affect their sleep pattern or anything? They’ll still wake up at the normal time?”

“Indeed. However, if you wanted to lock down multiple users at once, this would be the ideal way to do it. You wouldn’t even have to connect the dreams, unless you wanted.”

“That’s very good to know. Hopefully the dream machine will work on demons.” Again, it didn’t reply. “That’s all. Dismissed.” It bowed its head and vanished.

I thought of Moonbeam next and my head turned that way. I jumped on over to her golden dream. Before I could peel back the smoke, my memory flickered and I paused.

“...Did she mention something about never disrupting her dreams? I think I remember her mentioning something like that.”

“If you think so, it’s better not to take the risk,” Darya said in my head. “Moonbeam is delicate about surprising things. She might be quite upset if you violate the privacy of her dreams. You have the magic mirror. Perhaps you should use that to contact her instead.”

“Yeah, that’s a better idea.” I was really curious about her dreams, but I decided not to press my luck. “In that case, I don’t think I have anyone else to notify.”

“What about your friends at Ponyville?” Darya asked.

“I’m sure they’ll find out through the grapevine.” I left the anteroom for my own dream. “Put me out, if you would. I’m done for the night.” The sweet, comforting darkness enveloped me.

When I woke up the next morning, I was cuddled tightly against a furry purple pony. The part of me pressed against her was drenched in sweat from the heat, which felt pretty unpleasant. Twilight was still mortal, so I figured she’d sleep for a while longer. I started walking to the bathroom to take a whore bath, but was engulfed by an elemental before I could make it halfway there.

“Good morning,” Darya said in my head when she pulled away from me.

How did you beat Flo up here?

“I informed her that it would be best if someone else took care of you. If it was someone so close, you would only find it creepy. She didn’t care, so we had a rock-paper-tendril contest instead. I won.”

Well, want to help me find clothes? I have no idea where anything is.

“I scouted it all out last night while you were sleeping,” she said in my head as she slid over to one of the wardrobes. Soon enough, I was girded in simple clothes. Twilight was still kicking softly in her sleep, so I left her behind and went to the stairs heading down. Darya slid right behind me.

Doppel was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. “You have a visitor, my lady,” she said, bowing her head. “Fleur is waiting for you in the sun room.”

Wow, already? “Then I suppose I’ll go get complained at for dressing too simply,” I said.

“I heard that!” Fleur called from the other room. I smiled and walked on over. Fleur was currently trotting over with a huge grin of her own. Before I could say anything, she hugged me. “Welcome back to reality, Navi!”

“You know, hopefully,” I said, hugging her back. “Unless this is just the coma trying to mess with my mind.”

“Well, I’m sure I can think of a few ways to make you realize the truth. If you’d like to go upstairs for a few minutes, I’d be happy to show you…”

“If you came this early, I figured you had more in mind than that,” I replied.

“Unfortunately, you’re quite right.” She finally released me and stepped back. “Are you up for a trip to Ponyville?”

“I mean, I really don’t want to, but I can definitely do it. Taya can get us there as soon as she comes downstairs.”

“Oh. I… guess that would work, too. I came by this early because I figured we’d go by train… Will Rarity’s shop even be open this early?”

“No clue, but it’s also possible she isn’t even in Ponyville right now,” I said. “Apparently she’s expanding. I’d rather get there quickly and find out she’s not there than waste two hours on a train ride. At least if she is there, we can walk around Ponyville until she opens.”

“What about Taya’s classes?”

“She can teleport back before they start, if it takes us that long. I kinda wanted to walk her there on my first day back, but there’s not much time left before the competition. Rarity needs the new measurements sooner rather than later, I reckon. Are these clothes acceptable, or should I try something more fancy?”

“If you even have to ask, you should know the answer,” Fleur said. “Besides, it’s still going to be frigid out, especially in Ponyville. I might be able to keep you warm with magic for a few minutes, but it wouldn’t be for long.”

“Then I’ll ask Doppel to assist,” I said.

“Perfect,” Fleur said with a nod. “I’ll see you again in a few minutes, unless you want me to help, too!”

“If you started helping, it might take a few hours to get finished,” I replied, booping her nose. “I’ll be down soon.” With that, I went back to the entry hall. Doppel and Aurora were both waiting with large smiles. “Doppel, I need assistance preparing for an outing to Ponyville.”

“I’d be happy to help, my lady!” she sweetly said. For once, she actually started walking up the stairs. I followed behind her. Thankfully, my male maid went to the kitchen instead.

“Do you think I should invite Twilight?” I whispered.

“Fleur already knows she’s here, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Doppel casually replied. “I think it would be better to bring Twilight, if she’s willing. Taya still needs to get ready and eat breakfast, after all. Well… unless Fleur was hoping to turn this into a date. She did seem a little put off when you talked about skipping the train ride together…”

“Life is hard,” I sighed.

“It’s the most difficult thing most people ever do,” Doppel replied. “But don’t worry, my lady! We’re here for you!”

“That’s how I keep going.” We got to my room, so she opened the door and let me in first. Twilight was no longer in the bed and the bathroom door was closed, so I figured she was probably up. “So, I guess it’s time to prettify me. Again.”

“If you weren’t going to see Rarity, I wouldn’t be as adamant about it,” Doppel said. “But that mare will give me an earful if I don’t dress you properly before sending you out.” She had all my clothes off me in a flash, skillfully undressing me in a way only a pro could. “You know… I wouldn’t mind a chance to play with your new body soon, my lady…”

“Your chance may or may not be coming soon,” I said. “If push comes to shove, you could help with some more advanced material for Twilight’s books.”

“She’s been consulting me frequently, but I’d be happy to show her things in person…” Her wings flapped and she flew over to one of my wardrobes. “For now, let’s get you all dolled up!”

While she was pulling out an uncomfortably lacy dress, I asked, “Did you really consider being a tree sister like me and Taya?”

“I did, but I didn’t want to do anything without consulting you first, my lady. I’d be happy to serve you forever!”

“I’m not sure the potion would work on you, since you’re already fully fae. It’s also important to know that you can’t technically die if you’re a tree sister, once you have a few seeds planted. After a few deaths, you won’t be able to go as far away from your trees. After a few more deaths, you’ll be stuck in your grove. A few more, and you’ll turn into a tree. If there’s any kind of afterlife out there, it’ll be a very long time before your soul finds its way there. If you’re fine with that, I’d be happy to have you.”

“Those extra details will require some thought, but I don’t think my answer will change. I don’t think dressing you up will be as fun when you’re a man again, but it’ll still be important! And what would you do without me to do it, hm?”

“Well, Darya dressed me before I left, but that was before we were expecting to go somewhere. She knows as soon as I wake up, so that’s pretty convenient.”

“Hm. She’s able to communicate with me as well, correct? That means I can use her to alert me the moment you awaken, so I can be by your side to help you get ready for the day!”

“It does mean that, yes.” I’m not sure why you’d want to go that far, but whatever. “I’d certainly prefer you waiting by my bedside in the morning to a few of my other options…”

“Kat certainly is passionate, my lady,” Doppel said with a cute giggle. “But you know she’ll never harm you without permission, right?”

“That doesn’t mean she isn’t creepy. I’m surprised she wasn’t waiting just outside my door when I left.”

“Darya sent her away before going in to dress you. Kat was reluctant to leave, but getting told she was being creepy was enough for her to give up. You know, I can’t believe Celestia managed to modify all of your clothes like this…”

“Yeah, it sure was convenient,” I said. “Magic’s a hell of a drug.”

“You’re being a much better sport about getting dressed up than usual,” she said. The speed with which she dressed me couldn’t match the speed when she tore everything off, but it still didn’t take her very long. “Normally you’d complain about every little thing…”

“Accepting it makes it go faster. That means I have less time to be miserable. Besides, putting the dress on isn’t the worst part. It’s being seen by everyone else while in it.”

“Luckily, I made sure you have on a super cute dress today. That means you won’t have to suffer when everyone sees you in it! Really, my lady, what would you do without me?”

“Suffer.” I looked myself up and down in the large mirror she set up for me. The white dress went all the way up to my collar and was made with heavy materials to keep me warm. The pink lace all over it was probably there solely to make me miserable. I filled it in much more now than I did before. “Not too bad, all things told. Thank you, Doppel.”

“I live to serve, my lady. Should I ask Taya to come see you?”

“If you wouldn’t mind.” She bowed and departed, leaving the door cracked open. For a moment, I thought I saw a flash of Kat’s eyes staring from the other side, but they vanished before I could be certain. Of course, I had no doubts. She was merely biding her time.

I didn’t have long to think about it. The bathroom door opened and out came Twilight in all her purple glory. “Oh my, you’re dressed up quite fancily,” she said. “Are you going somewhere so early?”

“Rarity needs my new measurements to finalize my clothing for the competition,” I said. “Fleur came by to take me. I was planning on having Taya teleport us.”

“She has classes,” Twilight replied. “I will teleport you! I can go talk to someone while you’re getting measured.”

“I can skip,” Taya said, letting herself in. “Mommy needs me. That’s more important.”

“If Twilight’s willing, that’s just as good,” I said. “With luck, I can get it over with quickly and come back before you even leave. But knowing Rarity, she’ll probably be difficult and what should take half an hour will take half a day instead.”

“That’s a bad way to talk about one of your friends,” Twilight said.

“What’s a better word for difficult, then? High maintenance, maybe?”

“Didn’t you tell me that if I didn’t have anything nice to say, I shouldn’t say it at all?” Taya asked.

“I don’t know, maybe? I’ve told you a lot of things. It definitely sounds like a good rule for you to follow, though.”

“So are you saying it’s not a good rule for you to follow?” Taya asked.

“I’m working on it. Anyway, go get ready for class. I’ll take the delicious purple express to Ponyville instead.”

“Don’t make me sound like a delivery service,” Twilight groaned, flapping her ears.

“...Class is gonna be a lot less fun now that you’re back,” Taya said, hanging her head.

“What? Why?”

“Because now I could be spending time with you instead!” she said, jerking back up to stare at me.

“School is good for you. Concentrate on your classes and your friends while you’re there. We’ll have plenty of time together after you’ve learned everything you can.”

“I know… But I’ll definitely stop tutoring now that you’re back.”

“Wait, you were tutoring?” I asked. I thought for sure everyone would be terrified of you.

“I was surprised, too,” Twilight said. “But she found some friends who were impressed by what she could do and wanted to learn from her!”

“That’s not exactly what happened,” Taya said. “First, this annoying colt kept challenging me to duels and got upset every time he lost. After my tenth victory in a row, I decided to teach him a lesson. The filly that was called in to heal him couldn’t concentrate her magic enough to heal what I did, so I did it for her, which apparently shocked her. After that, the teacher made me tutor them both for a week to punish me for winning.”

“He wasn’t punishing you for winning,” Twilight said. “He was punishing you for going too far, the colt for challenging someone who was obviously stronger over and over, and the filly for panicking at the sight of what you did to him.”

“If it’s a punishment, you’re not skipping it,” I said.

“Oh, that ended a few days ago,” Taya said. “But for some reason, they both asked me to keep doing it. I’ll just tell them today that it’s over.”

“I want you to keep teaching them,” I said, patting her head. “It’s good to know capable people, and anyone taught by you is sure to be both capable and grateful.”

“But it’s not like I can bring them over here! We have to go to his house to practice! And if we go over there, I can’t spend time with you!”

“Wait, why can’t you bring them here?” Twilight asked.

“Because almost everyone here is terrifying,” I said. “Most ponies rarely see other races, and yet this house has a ton of them, many of which are predators. It also has Luna. But you should be able to bring them by, as long as you either stick to your room or the backyard near the cliff.”

“I guess I can offer…” she said. “His family’s training area is well made, but it’s for pegasi. The cliff lets us do a lot more.”

“You could teach them how to make wings and then show them how to fly,” Twilight said. “Most unicorns haven’t even heard of that spell. I’m sure they’d love it!”

“Eh, probably.”

“Be careful when teaching people a lesson,” I said. “Make sure not to do anything that makes them bleed because that’s too noticeable.”

“I tried everything else before then,” she said, shaking her head in disappointment. “He was so annoying, going on about his family honor or whatever. Who cares that he’s the son of a famous line of knights? As far as his magic is concerned, he’s about as harmless to me as a gnat!”

“It was still enough to make another filly cry,” Twilight said. “Though, apparently, the two of them were already friends, so maybe she was just upset one of her friends was hurt.”

“She’s a little crybaby,” Taya said. “I don’t know how the daughter of two supposedly famous doctors is so wimpy. You’d think she’d be used to things like that! I only sliced him up a little.”

“You removed his ability to feel pain and then hamstrung him, didn’t you?” Twilight asked.

“Well, first I cut off his flow of magic, so he couldn’t fight back,” Taya said. “They’re both weaklings. Are you really sure I should keep training them?”

“I am,” I said. “If anyone is strong enough to be willing to learn from the person who thrashed them so badly, they’re worth keeping around. Besides, anyone can become strong with repetition. If they’re currently useless, then keep drilling and training them until they’re not. If the vision we saw in the coma is true, you know enough about healing to get up to expert and enough about destruction to be well past it. That means you can teach them both quite a lot. And in the act of teaching, you’ll come to learn it better yourself.”

“That’s definitely true,” Twilight said. “Going back over the basics with true beginners is a good way of reconfirming everything in your mind.”

Taya sighed and hung her head. “Fine. I’ll keep teaching them. I guess I’ll go get ready, then…”

“In case I don’t see you before you leave, have a good day,” I said, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

“I was planning on only having a mediocre day, but I guess I’ll have a good one instead…”

“That’s my filly!” I said. She giggled and trotted back out. “Now then, I need to speak to Moonbeam for a moment. You want to wait downstairs?”

“No, I’ll wait right here,” Twilight said. Of course you will. Since she was just going to be stubborn, I gave in and walked over to my desk. She used magic to push the door shut.

I pulled the chair back, sat, opened the door with the mirror, and pulled it out. “Moonbeam.” The mirror showed the ceiling of her room. “Anyone home?”

“Indeed I am,” Moonie’s seductive voice replied. A few moments later, I saw a haze of green and the mirror started moving. Soon enough, the lovely bug queen herself came into view. “Greetings, Navi.” She took the mirror in hoof and the green haze disappeared. “I heard from Celestia you woke up last night, yet you waited until just now to contact me?”

“My worry was focused on getting rid of one of your competitors,” I replied with a grin. “In case you’re interested, Princess Gilda is out of the running. Apparently her name was put there by someone else without my knowledge.”

“I didn’t fear that little princess for an instant,” Moonie said. “But I’m still happy you swatted that annoying fly away. Did you actually almost let yourself get honey trapped by the griffins?”

“It wasn’t their plot, it was Aqua’s,” I said. “She forced me to do it without me realizing it while I was under her control. I realized it while in the coma.”

“Ah, I see. I guess that makes sense. Aqua wanted another royal between your bedsheets. That would give her more control.”

“Yep. I was also pretty busy yesterday. Celestia barged in almost as soon as I got back, so I had to deal with her. Then I needed to test my new body a little. By the time I got all of my retainers together for a talk, it was already dark. After that, I decided to contact you in your dreams. Right before I let myself in, I realized you probably wouldn’t appreciate that and chose to contact you this morning instead.”

“I see your ability to make excuses hasn’t declined after your coma. Well, we are speaking now, so let’s leave it at that. It’s good to see you again, Navi.”

“You as well, Miss Moonie. Did Celestia tell you that we’ll get to meet in person again soon?”

“Indeed, she told me last night to expect another summit soon. It obviously can’t be during the upcoming fashion show, so it will likely be after.”

“Are you planning on attending the show?” I asked.

“Yes, though I won’t be there every night. I’m quite looking forward to it…” She licked her lips and gave me quite a spooky grin. “You’re going to be so cute that I might not be able to restrain myself… I don’t know if ravishing you during the middle of a show would work as a fait accompli, but I might be willing to risk it.”

“Cadance and Shining Armor are also going to be there, so in the event you can’t control yourself, they can keep you in check. Cadance can make you fall in love with her husband and you can impregnate him, instead.” Twilight glared at me, but I ignored it.

“I certainly hope it would be more enjoyable than the last time I wrapped my legs around him. He couldn’t perform at all! I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest if he enjoyed it. Anyway, did your coma teach you anything else?”

“Quite a few things. More than I’d like to talk about over a mirror, though I honestly doubt you’d care about most of it. There is one very important thing I need to warn you about, though. I’m not sure if Celestia told you last night.”

“She most certainly did,” Moonie replied. “About this pull of yours, correct?”

“Correct.”

“My thanks for the warning. I will keep this effect in mind in our relations going forward. However, expect nothing to change. I intend to have you as my wife.”

“If you want my hand, the first thing you have to do is move out of the darkness,” I said. “I can’t live underground.”

“The plans for our first above ground hive are already in the works. I can’t promise to make it my capital, but I’ll give the city to you and make my home there.”

“An enticing offer, but I’m going to put off making any final decisions until the Tartarus campaign is finished. It’s possible there’s an artifact somewhere in there that can make me male again.”

“That would change nothing for me, but I’ll respect your wishes and not push too strongly for now. I sense your value will only increase with time, Nav. At my side, you will have all the power and resources you need for any project you might want. With my authority behind you, all other nations will think twice about disturbing you with their nonsense plots. There are no such schemes among changelings. My will is the will of the whole kingdom.”

That doesn’t leave any room for mine, does it? “As I said, it’s a nice offer. Unfortunately, I don’t have too much time to chat. Now that I’m finally awake, I have much to do.”

“I understand. I’m grateful you were able to give me any time at all. I’ll make time soon to visit. You have quite the punishment coming, after all!”

“I’m looking forward to it. Farewell for now, Moonie.”

“See you soon, my pet.” With that, the mirror showed my own face once more. I chuckled and put the thing away.

“That bug is as detestable as always,” Twilight said, huffing.

“Thank you for not interrupting,” I replied, standing back up.

“So, what was she saying about sleeping with my brother?”

“That she wouldn’t mind impregnating him. You heard her, right?”

“That witch just said she wrapped her legs around my brother before, and she said it as though you knew what she was talking about!”

“The night before the wedding was supposed to happen, she seduced him to take his first.”

“...Does Cadance know?”

“I told him that I completely understood his pain and promised to tell no one, but I did tell him that Cadance would completely understand him if he told her. And that if she didn’t, that I would make her understand. I don’t know if he ever told her. For a man, being raped is pretty shameful. I’m surprised he even told me.”

“As I thought, Chrysalis really is a monster. How can you possibly trust her, Nav?”

“Right now, all trust in her is currently rescinded until we know what’s up with her deal with the devil. But I guess the answer is just intuition. I legitimately think she doesn’t mean me any harm. And now, I have a feeling she’s decided not to bring harm to anyone else. That obviously doesn’t mean she’s good, but it’s difficult for me to mistrust people when I feel they have no bad intentions for me.”

“Your intuition might be broken. Every time she opens her mouth, I can’t help but think she’s lying to bide time.”

“I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree. Shall we get going? I’d like to get back from Ponyville quickly.”

“Don’t be silly, you won’t be that lucky.” I led the way out and she followed.

This time, Kat was definitely waiting outside my door. “My lady, will you need a guard for this excursion?” she asked with her typical sly grin.

“An attendant would be welcome, if Twilight is willing to bring you as well.”

“One more won’t hurt,” Twilight said, shrugging. Kat giggled and latched onto my arm. Together, the three of us made it back to the sunroom where Fleur was waiting. It was still early enough that only a few guards were out and about, so I didn’t have to deal with any extra drama.

“I had a feeling it might come to this,” Fleur said when she saw us. “Well… It hurts to say, but we are both busy. I guess we can make it quick instead of spending some time together…”

“I need to speak to someone at Ponyville, so I don’t plan on staying with you,” Twilight said.

“And I am only here to serve my lady,” Kat added, tightening her grip on my arm.

“Most nobles don’t have vassals this… loyal,” Fleur said, looking at our arms locked together. “You’re quite lucky, Navi.”

“Luck had nothing to do with it,” I said. Especially not good luck. “Is everyone ready to go?”

“All my weapons are properly concealed,” Kat said. “I won’t scare any of the normal ponies, promise!”

“I can get something for breakfast in Ponyville,” Twilight said. “I’m ready whenever.”

“I’m not sure Rarity will let us in this early, but we can try,” Fleur said with a nod. “Let’s go.” We all grouped up together and Twilight’s horn took us off on our next adventure.

It was lightly snowing when we arrived a few meters away from Rarity’s front door. The sudden difference in temperature was enough for me to be grateful for Kat’s closeness. “Do normal ponies enjoy buildings that look like this?” Kat asked, looking Rarity’s boutique up and down. “Equestria is so… gaudy.”

“I think it’s a little much, but it’s certainly eye-catching,” Fleur said.

“The whole place is an eye-sore,” I muttered, kicking at the snow.

“You probably never should have told Rarity what you really thought about it, you know,” Twilight said. “I feel like that’s probably one of the reasons she made so many pretty dresses.”

“One for every insult, two for every prank,” Fleur said with a nod. “That’s what Rarity told me, at least. I thought she was joking at the time, but now…”

“Yeah, that explains it,” I said. “That’s gonna mean years and years of dresses…”

“...What did you do to that poor mare?” Fleur slowly asked, looking somewhat disturbed.

“Nothing she didn’t deserve.”

“Before we bother Rarity, I’m going to head off,” Twilight said. “If she sees me here, she’ll probably want to talk and talk. I’ll use magic to track you when I’m done.”

“Thanks for the ride, Twilight,” I said. “Your delicious purple taxi service is always welcome.”

“I’m not a taxi service, either!” She stuck her tongue out at me before teleporting off.

“Anyway, let’s get this show on the road,” I said with a nod. Kat synced with my steps perfectly, as though she was just waiting for me to make a move. She knocked on the door for me as soon as we were close enough.

A few moments later, Rarity opened the door. As soon as she saw me, she looked me up and down before smiling. “I see you’re awake, my lady. How was your nap?”

“Enlightening,” I said. “Fleur is saying you need my latest measurements.”

“Oh, indeed. Not much should have changed, so it shouldn’t take me too long.”

“Would you like us to wait until you’re officially open?” Fleur asked.

“No, no, there’s no need for that,” Rarity said. “Come inside, out of the snow!” She backed off, letting us in. “I heard you had a few adventures without us, my lovely lady. Was Celestia okay with that?”

“Hearing you call me lady makes my skin crawl,” I said.

“Good, now I know another of your weaknesses… my lady.”

“Tch. Well, Celestia and I came to an agreement. We won’t be getting in each other’s way anymore.”

“Twilight told me some of what happened, but I have a feeling there’s a lot she didn’t mention. For you to have actually forgiven Celestia… Forgive me for doubting you, but I find it hard to believe your heart is that big.”

“The full story isn’t something that needs to be shared. Ever. Celestia and I have come to an agreement and that’s all everyone needs to know.”

“Hm… Well, I suppose it’s nothing for a humble peasant such as myself to be concerned over, I’m sure,” Rarity smugly replied. “The life of a beautiful lady such as yourself seems so rife with hardships, in comparison…”

“And now I see why you have years and years of dresses to make our lovely lady here,” Fleur said with a grin. “One for every insult, two for every prank?”

“And five for every time you called me ugly!”

“But that’s just another insult,” I said. “That’s clearly biased.”

“Fine, then six for every time you called me ugly! One for the insult, five for that insult!”

“Well, joke’s on you,” I said with a smirk. “I’m pretty sure I found a way to turn back. I’ll just have to beat Tartarus to get it.”

“Then I’ll simply have to go with you to ensure you fail,” Rarity said. Before she could say anything else, Kat appeared right in front of her to boop her on the nose. It looked like her claw might have been extended, but I couldn’t tell.

“You wouldn’t do something like that to my lady, would you?” Kat warmly asked, looking down on Rarity with a very kind smile.

I sighed and dragged Kat back. “Kat, stop acting out for attention. Or at the very least, do it in a way that isn’t creepy or scary. Rarity obviously wouldn’t do that because she quite clearly doesn’t understand the consequences.”

“And I hope I never will understand them,” Rarity replied with a nod. “Some of the more mature manga I was given had a few scenes in them that depicted humanity’s imagination when it comes to causing torment and suffering. And I’ve seen from Opal what cats can do, so I’d rather not tempt fate.”

“There’s another cat living here?” Kat asked. “I thought I was the only one in mainland Equestria.”

“Opal is my pet cat,” Rarity replied.

“Your pet… cat?” Kat said, tilting her head.

Rarity’s horn lit up and a can of fish appeared. She cracked it open and Opal instantly appeared. “That’s Opal.”

Kat was staring at her with the weirdest look on her face. “I… I don’t understand… What is that thing? It looks a little like me, but… What?”

“You’ve never seen a pet cat?” I asked. “Seriously?”

She leaned in closer to Opal, who was staring up at the can of fish expectantly. “I haven’t! This is fascinating! Do many ponies keep my kind in bondage?”

“Quite a lot of us, yes,” Rarity said, finally giving Opal the fish she so dearly longed for. “They’re great for catching mice and cuddling with! But she’s not capable of talking, of course. I don’t really know if you’d consider it bondage…”

“Yes, I’m sure you wouldn’t,” Kat said. She reached down to pick up the kitty. “My lady, I am going to attempt to communicate with this poor creature. Will you need me while you’re being measured?”

“Nope, go for it,” I said. Opal didn’t seem to mind getting carted off. Rarity looked a little worried, but didn’t say anything as Kat walked to another room. “So, shall we?”

“Er, right. Would you mind getting undressed for me, Nav?”

“I’d be happy to help,” Fleur said with a smirk. Her horn lit up and I started getting stripped yet again. Since she was being careful with my clothes, she didn’t finish as quickly as Doppel.

“Wait, did you… gain weight?” Rarity asked as my body was revealed.

“I entered the coma in Athena’s book, the dungeon Twilight and I conquered together. One of the mages there specializes in beauty magic. She did some stuff to make me sexier while I was asleep, apparently.”

“Oh, definitely,” she said, molesting me with her eyes. “You look much closer to the ladies in some of the other mature manga I was given.”

“That reminds me. Would you mind if I murdered you just a little? I went through unimaginable suffering in Gryphus because of you.”

“I would prefer you didn’t. What happened?”

“Twilight and I went there on vacation, both of us in disguise as random ponies. One of the events we participated in was an auction. I got bought by a griffin who loved pony manga. His favorite was about a pony maid who fell in love with her griffin master. I was subjected to his nerdy bullshit for almost a day! He actually asked me to marry him!”

Rarity sighed, hanging her head. “I can’t believe you got another marriage offer… I can’t even get a single one!”

“That’s not true. I offered to marry you once.”

“And you were clearly joking!”

Fleur cut in with a giggle. “Yes, I can definitely see why you don’t regret earning a single one of those dresses, Navi,” she said. “You two are quite close!”

“It’s okay, Rarity,” I said, patting her on the head. “The coma finally taught me why you and all your friends are so difficult to deal with. Now that I understand the situation, I’ll try not to be as antagonistic. So, shall we get to measuring?”

“Just as soon as you explain what you meant by that!” Rarity shouted, stomping a hoof on the floor. “First, you call me difficult?! And then you’re acting like there’s something wrong with us!”

“Rarity, you’re the least difficult pony in Ponyville,” I replied with a smile. “Be proud! Now that I know Celestia’s secret, I truly understand what an achievement that is! Especially when you tack on what I’ve accidentally done just by existing…”

Rarity looked down to my hands for a moment before her horn lit up and I found my naked body lifted up. “I think I’m going to start working on a special dress while you explain just exactly what you’re talking about!” She began floating me into her workroom, muttering darkly. Fleur followed, giggling like crazy.

And so I once again described the effect of my pull on Fleur and Rarity. They were obviously shocked, but not all that concerned about it. Unfortunately, the dress Rarity was putting together using me as a live mannequin was very pink, very frilly, and oddly sparkly. It was completely covered in gems carved in the shape of cherry blossom petals.

“So, I noticed you mentioning something else before talking about that strange human effect of yours,” Rarity said, pulling the corset she’d forced around me tighter. Now that I actually had a chest, apparently she wanted to force my figure more upright or whatever. All that effectively meant is that she had another way to torture me while trying to make me feel grateful for it. “You were talking like Ponyville was unusual even before you arrived, something about Celestia’s secret!”

“Oh yeah, that,” I said. “Yeah, don’t worry about it. Trust me when I say you’re really better off not knowing.”

“If Celestia’s done something to all of us, I deserve to know about it!” Rarity shouted. “And if you think this dress isn’t girly enough, you better not push me! I’ll make something so prissy and pink you’ll finally break and start liking it!”

“You better tell her,” Fleur said. “If the Element of Generosity promises such a gift, she’s sure to make it happen…”

“Ugh, fine. Ponyville is a eugenics program. Celestia set it up that way on purpose.”

“...What’s eugenics?” Rarity quietly asked.

“Essentially, purposefully breeding sapient beings to create stronger, more talented beings. If it helps, think of it like breeding dogs. They all started from wolves, but now there are dozens of different types bred for various different purposes. Since this is an earth pony town, she was probably trying to breed soldiers. I mean, look at how strong Applejack and Big Mac are compared to the normal pony. And think about how weird Pinkie is. And how strong the earth magic here is. Then you have exceptional cases of super fast pegasi like Rainbow Dash. I even heard most of the new recruits in the Wonderbolts this year were pegasi from Ponyville. Fluttershy’s talents with animals would be perfect if it could be reproduced. Your agility with magic is basically unmatched, aside from the most elite of the elite. And of course, Twilight was sent here unwittingly to take part in the program, both to act as another breeder as a powerful unicorn and to keep an eye on the inmates. Her weekly letters to Celestia were essentially reports to the researcher on how well the test subjects were doing. It’s possible Celestia had some very long-term plans to create some new type of pony, or maybe even recreate alicorns.”

“Oh,” Rarity curtly said. “I see. Is that all? I suppose it’s time to move, then. Well, after telling everypony else and leading a revolution against THAT UTTER MONSTER!”

“Don’t worry about the revolution,” I said. “We already got that one covered.”

“You said you came to an agreement with that monster!” Rarity shouted. “We deserve her head!”

“Like I said, we already got that one covered. Celestia’s dead.” Rarity froze, then blinked a few times. “Did you know that water elementals can completely erase someone’s personality? And did you know they can also… build a completely new personality? What do you think is better, Rarity? Starting a revolution? Getting your hooves covered in the blood of your fellow ponies? Finally getting your brutal revenge against the one who oppressed you for so long by chopping her head off in the town circle for all to see? Or quietly killing her in a back room, then repurposing her corpse to undo the damage she caused?”

“...I certainly know which would feel better,” she muttered. “But… is it true?”

“It is,” Fleur said. “I wasn’t there to personally witness it, but I was there to witness the decision being made. Nav invited a few world leaders and several other important ponies to discuss the issue. In the end, the vote was five to four in favor of brainwashing her instead of killing her.”

“Our revenge has already been completed, Rarity,” I said. “There’s no need to fear Celestia anymore. She’s now cute and cuddly, without all the creepy elitism, racism, and most of the other things that used to make her a tyrant.”

“Are you really sure you should be telling me this?” Rarity asked.

“You threatened to do unspeakably awful things to me if I didn’t. Are you really in a position to be complaining? Get over yourself, test subject. Besides, now you won’t try and lead a revolution against Celestia. After all, if you do, you’ll have me to deal with. I voted to keep her alive and I intend to keep her that way. As you’re the least insane inmate here, surely you know better than to actually share information like this.”

“I prefer most sane, thank you very much,” Rarity said. “Although now I know all of this… I don’t think I can look at any of the townsponies the same way anymore.”

“At least I’m not the only one anymore. I’m happy to share my troubles with you, Rarity. You sure are a good friend, huh?”

“Oh, bite me.” I leaned down and nibbled on her ear, making her unwillingly moan.

“I see I’m not the only one with a thing for predators,” Fleur said, chuckling.

“Rarity only pretends to be prim and proper. Trust me, she’s just as bad as us, if not worse. She has a thing for dressing little boys up like girls.”

“STOP SAYING THAT!” Rarity shouted, grabbing me and shaking me by the frills.

“Didn’t you say you were preparing a dress for a colt the last time I came by?” Fleur asked.

Rarity sighed in exasperation. “That… that was an o-order…”

“You don’t sound very sure about that,” I said. “You sure it was what he actually ordered? And not just what you decided to make?”

“He didn’t order it,” Rarity said. “His mother did. The colt himself didn’t say anything. But he looked so adorable in it! Truly, the perfect fit!” Fleur and I shared a knowing look. “IT’S NOT A FETISH!”

Of course, that happened to be right as Rainbow Dash was busting through the door. We all turned to her in shock, since she slammed the door open. It looked like she was about to say something, but froze when she heard what Rarity shouted. “...Wait, are you talking about dressing up colts?” Dash finally asked. Rarity groaned.

“I’d say that proves it,” Fleur said. “I’m not sure that’s the most healthy—”

“Wait a sec, I’m not here to talk about Rarity’s messed up fetishes!” Dash shouted. “I’m here to yell at Nav again!”

“Rarity, undo your magic for a moment,” I said.

“Tch, whatever.” Her magic finally released me, so I turned to Rainbow Dash with a sweet grin.

“But Dashie, we just got reunited after so long apart…” I stepped closer and brought my arms together, emphasizing my much larger bust. Her eyes couldn’t deny gravity and took them in, making her mouth drop. “Shouldn’t this be a joyous occasion?” I leaned in closer and gently scratched at the back of one of her ears. “Why would you want to yell at me, silly? I just got back! Don’t you even wanna say hello? Or maybe…” I leaned in closer, so I could whisper in her ear. “...make some even sweeter sounds?”

“Y-you… you won’t s-seduce your way outta…” I blew in her ear, making her squeak. That’s when I moved in for the kill, hugging her and making sure her snout was pushed straight into my new chest. The jewels covering me probably dampened the feeling somewhat, but she definitely got a face full of heaven.

“It’s nice to see you again, Dashie,” I said, petting her mane. “I’m sorry I left for so long without saying anything, but you know how busy things get. There’s no need to be so… Are you turning purple because you can’t breathe or…” Her wings were fully extended, but she wasn’t struggling at all. I had a feeling she could breathe just fine. She might have just been a little overstimulated. I giggled and finally backed away. “Are you still upset, Dashie?”

“...You’re the worst, Nav.”

“Are you going to explain why you so rudely barged in?” Rarity asked.

“Why didn’t you take us to the Zone of Alienation with you?!” Dash demanded, stomping her hooves. “Gilda and Spike made it sound so cool! Aren’t I one of your employees?!”

“You’re on a contract-based thing, so you’re technically only my employee when we’re on the mission of hunting for the elementals. The Zone didn’t have any of those.”

“Yes it did! It had that prototype water elemental named Jonathan!”

“...I guess you could consider him that, but our mission wasn’t to retrieve him. That was a solely personal mission that had nothing to do with Equestria. Thus, I saw no reason to get you involved.”

“Then why did you invite Twilight?!”

“She asked if she could go. You didn’t. I don’t see what the problem is.”

“You didn’t even tell me you were going! How was I supposed to ask if I didn’t even know?!”

“As an employee, shouldn’t you take the initiative to learn your employer’s schedule to see if any opportunities for work might arise?” I asked with a smug grin.

“Don’t you try talking your way outta this one, missy! I’m gonna be mad at you and that’s final! Especially since, after Twilight told you I was mad, you just told her I’d probably get over it! You didn’t even care!”

“That’s not true. I did care, I just had more pressing things to deal with. Placating a contractor who is upset she—”

“You didn’t invite your friend on the coolest adventure ever!” Dash shouted. “What, did you think I’d be scared? Or that I’d just get in the way? Or did you not even think about me at all?!”

Obviously the last one. If I thought about how much of a pain this would be, I would have just invited you. “Everything we heard about the Zone painted it as the most dangerous place out there, outside of Tartarus,” I said. “We knew for a fact that several big groups tried breaking in, only to fail miserably. I picked my team with care. I knew the trip would be incredibly dangerous and that anyone who went had to have a purpose. You don’t have as much training in combat as the others. You don’t have as much training with fighting in groups. You don’t know as much about how magic in combat works. To be honest, the only thing you have above any of my soldiers, performance-wise, is speed. Since I knew solo flying missions would likely be either impossible or unnecessary, I didn’t see a reason to include you.”

“Didn’t you drag that deadweight princess with you?!”

“Princess Gilda joined us as part of her condition for helping us. She got us the location of the bunker, along with information about it and a guide to get us there. She also brought along several experienced bodyguards who could easily double as scouts. I didn’t want to put you at risk in an extremely dangerous situation when you weren’t even necessary for the mission.”

“...You brought Twilight, even though you already had plenty of powerful unicorns.”

“Because Twilight has knowledge about magic that not even Luna, my most experienced vassal, has.”

“Did you just say Luna is your vassal?” Rarity asked, butting in.

“It’s a long story, but yes. You can be mad at me if you want, Dash. But I’m sure you heard how dangerous it was. Sure, it makes for a fun story to tell, but we had to deal with some pretty spooky stuff.”

“Talking to you is like talking to a brick wall, sometimes,” Dash said, shaking her head. “You never give in, do you?”

“It’s part of my human nature. When I’m right about something, I don’t like budging on the issue. That means I just need to figure out the best tactic to either make everyone agree or to give up and leave me alone.”

“So your constant stream of excuses comes from your excessive pride?” Fleur asked. “I guess that makes sense. You’re too proud to admit to being wrong, so you come up with reason after reason that you have to be correct, even if some of the reasons are blatantly just made up on the spot.”

“But they’re usually all logically consistent, so you can almost never call her on it,” Rarity said. “It’s the most vexing thing ever! You called me difficult, but you’re the hardest one here to deal with!”

“That would sound like much more of a badge of honor coming from Pinkie, but I guess I’ll take it from the most sane inmate, too.”

“Wait, Rarity’s an inmate?” Dash asked. “Oh, is this about that time you both got arrested because of that bitch in Canterlot?” Fleur flinched.

“I’ve never been arrested in my life,” Rarity said, huffing. “Though Nav tried to convince me I had been, once.”

“I’m telling you, it really happened,” I said. “Celestia removed your memory of it happening because you got super pissed when she told us she just convicted us of treason for the fun of it. Anyway, can I get out of this gaudy thing yet? Don’t you still need to take my measurements?”

“I guess I’m done making you suffer for now,” Rarity said. “Go ahead and get undressed. Rainbow, try not to drool too much.”

“No promises,” she said, sitting down to watch me undress. Well, she ended up getting to watch Fleur undress me instead. Either way, she definitely enjoyed the show. “Whoa, Nav… You’re so squishy now! What happened?”

“Someone did magic to me while I was in the coma without permission. This is the result.” Her vision of my new sexy breasticles was partially blocked by Rarity’s measuring tape.

“I’m going to enjoy dressing you up like a cute little doll for the pageant!” Rarity said as she looked over the numbers. “Now that you can actually fill out dresses, there’s so much more I can do!”

“Please remember that you have less than a week left,” Fleur said.

“Any time crunch is worth it to make our lovely lady here as pretty as can be!” Rarity sweetly replied, her eyes (and measuring tape) sizing me up like prey. “Now that she may have a way back to being a man, I have to make the most of what time I have left!”

“Wait, what?!” Dash shouted, jumping back to her hooves.

“There’s probably an artifact in Tartarus I can use for it,” I replied with a grin. “That’ll be one of my goals when I go there.”

“When we go there!” Dash immediately said.

“Well, we as in me and several armies, yeah,” I said. “I’ll be the general of the multinational task force in charge of conquering Tartarus, or at least one of the people in the upper echelons of the command group. It’ll be fun.”

“We as in me too!” Dash shouted. “I’m definitely going, if there’s a whole bucking army going! Surely you’ll need scouts!”

“The Wonderbolts are part of the army. I’d have them to use as scouts. Dash… why would I want one of my most adorable friends to be in danger by going to a place like Tartarus or the Zone?”

“Uh… Because they’re cool? My adorableness doesn’t factor into my adventurous spirit!”

“Wait, who’s your most adorable friend?” Rarity asked. At this point, she was finally running out of things to measure and was paying more attention to talking than the numbers. “Is.. is it me?!”

“What? No, it’s Captain Midnight Blossom. The new Princess Celestia is number two. Dash is three.”

“Wait, she’s above me?!” Fleur demanded, slapping a hoof on the floor.

“You’re not just a friend,” I said with a shrug. “So obviously you wouldn’t even be in the running for most adorable friend.”

“...I’m not even in the top three,” Rarity softly said, her ears sagging.

“Sorry, you don’t really have an adorable vibe,” I said. “You probably are my most beautiful friend, though. Fluttershy has you slightly beat in appearance alone, but your dignity, poise, and attitude are all much better.” That made her blush and giggle in delight. Fleur rolled her eyes and huffed.

“So my vibe is… adorable?” Dash asked, tilting her head. “I don’t buy it!”

“And that’s why your vibe will always be adorable,” Rarity said, nodding her head. “I can definitely agree with Nav that you’re near the top of the list in that category. If you were ever willing to give it a chance, I could make you look cuter than you ever thought possible! You’d be able to pick up any mare you set your eyes on. And I’m sure predators would love it even more!”

“It’s quite fun to prey on the adorable, defenseless little herbivores sometimes,” I said with a dirty grin. “It gets even better when they know how cute they are and just how to put it to use. I’m sure Rarity would be able to tame your inner tomboy, given enough time!”

“She sure hasn’t had good results with you yet, has she?” Dash asked. “She got you all dolled up, but you didn’t look very happy about it!”

“I don’t have an inner tomboy. I’m just outright originally a dude. Who knows? You might enjoy being adorable if you gave it a chance. I did give it a chance and it turns out, I don’t much care for it. Rarity just doesn’t care how I feel and enjoys making me suffer, so she does horrific things to me to satisfy her own whims.”

“Talking to you is so refreshing, Navi,” Rarity sweetly said, finally removing her measuring tape. “I get so, so many wonderful dress ideas! Maybe you should stay the rest of the day to help inspire me more!”

“I certainly wouldn’t want to impose,” I quickly said. “Besides, you have to hurry to finish before the competition, right? I’m positive Kat would find some ridiculous way to distract you.”

“Wait… Kat’s here?” Dash asked, looking around the room.

“She’s never seen a pet cat before, so she’s playing with Opal,” I said.

“Kat’s never seen a cat? I mean, alright, I guess. Uh… Are you sure she’s not hiding traps?”

“She has really good hearing, by the way,” I said. Dash’s eyes slammed open. “She also enjoys eavesdropping. So, you know, keep that in mind. Rarity, am I all measured?”

“Indeed you are, my lady! I’ll get to work on the clothes today!”

“Excellent.”

Fleur magically produced the dress I came in with and forced me into it. I honestly didn’t want to put it back on, but escaping Rarity’s abode meant I’d have to deal with fewer dresses later. I just really hoped I wouldn’t run into anyone else before Twilight got done talking.

“So, Rainbow Dash, how did you know Nav was here?” Rarity asked. “Or were you actually coming to see me?”

“Twilight told me,” Dash said. “She said since Nav probably wouldn’t try to contact any of us, that we should meet her! I think she’s going to Fluttershy next, then Applejack. We both assumed Pinkie already knows and is just biding her time.”

“Shall we find a train heading back to Canterlot?” I asked, looking over at Fleur.

“Um. Don’t you want to see your friends?” Fleur asked.

“There’s a time and a place for all things,” I sagely replied. “I agreed to come to Ponyville to get measured because I figured we could probably get it done quickly and get out. I only got out of the coma last night. I have a bunch of things that need to get done. Seeing everyone would be neat, but it’s not really in the cards for a while.”

“Sounds like an excuse,” Rarity said.

“A pretty lame one, at that,” Dash helpfully pointed out.

“It’s not like running would work, anyway,” Pinkie Pie added. Everyone but me jumped when she spoke up, since nobody noticed her appear. Not even I could pick out the moment when she arrived, almost as though she had been there the whole time. “I mean, Twilight can just bring you right back, can’t she?”

“W-where did you—” Fleur started, but I put my finger over her lips and shook my head. Her fearful eyes reflected my own, but she seemed to get the message.

“Hello, Pinkie,” I said, trying to put on a proper smile. I also finally removed my finger from Fleur’s face. “You’re not abusing your powers too much, are you?”

“It’s not like you could stop me if I was, silly!” she replied with a cute giggle. “How are you feeling, Navi? It looks like your beauty sleep did wonders!”

“I’m feeling pretty swanky. Fleur, how far can you teleport?”

“Oh, not at all,” she replied. “That magic is fairly advanced. Being able to teleport between Ponyville and Canterlot is fairly remarkable.”

Fuck. And I can’t risk flying back after my wings just grew in. I’d probably make it, but I don’t want to risk it. Pinkie suddenly shot forward and hugged me. “You’re trapped here, Navi!” she said, cuddling me close. “Might as well enjoy it!”

“If you throw me a party, I’ll make Kat ruin it,” I replied, hugging her back.

“Should you really make such a cute kitty do something so cruel?” Rarity asked.

“I’ll ask her to laugh as cutely as possible while doing it,” I said. Pinkie was showing no signs of getting bored of hugging me, so I released her and let her do as she pleased. “Besides, I don’t think that’ll be necessary. I think my point has been made and the lesson has been learned.”

“I’ll never give up,” Pinkie whispered. It was quiet enough that only I could hear it.

“I’ll never break,” I just as quietly whispered. She giggled and rubbed her cheek against my own for a moment before finally releasing me.

“Now hugging you is as fun for me as it is for you!” Pinkie said. “How about that slumber party, hm?”

“Nav hasn’t been to one of ours yet, has she?” Rarity asked with a grin. “I’m sure we could do so much—”

“Pass,” I immediately replied. “I got dragged into one with Cadance and Celestia. It was all the slumber party I needed in my lifetime.”

“Wait, Celestia forced you to attend a slumber party?” Fleur asked. “I thought you were unfriendly toward her?”

“It was complicated, and a while ago. She caught me off guard with how she acted when I got back after a while. Turns out, she was trying to seduce me so I could be more easily controlled.”

“When are we just gonna get rid of her already?” Dash petulantly asked.

“Let me worry about that, please,” I said. “Trust me when I say that things are handled, Dash.”

“The one who most deserves the revenge should be the one who decides the punishment,” Rarity said with a big grin. “Fret not, Rainbow. I’m sure Nav won’t disappoint us.”

“Speak for yourself!” Pinkie said. “She didn’t even invite us to the super cool coma! Taya got to go, but not me!”

“Wait, you let Taya join your coma, but not us?” Dash asked.

“Taya and I needed an opportunity to be more upfront and honest with each other,” I said. “The coma gave us a good chance to communicate. I wouldn’t share that bonding experience with anyone else. You’re better off getting mad about not getting invited to the bunker, instead. At least then you might have an argument.”

“I’d never have an argument against you, Nav,” Pinkie said. “You’d shoot it down in a heartbeat and keep on avoiding blame the best you can!”

Holy shit, am I actually still in the coma? “We really probably shouldn’t keep disturbing Rarity’s business like this,” I said. “If Twilight’s going to continue being difficult, I’m going to need breakfast. Fleur, shall we go looking for any diner that isn’t Sugarcube Corner?”

“Nope!” Pinkie replied for her. “Let’s go, Navi!” She grabbed my hand and started dragging me away. “The Cakes are gonna love your cute dress!”

“I can’t leave without my pet kitty,” I said.

Kat finally made herself known, almost instantly appearing at my side. “I have returned to your side, my lady.” Her eyes flickered to Pinkie for a moment before turning to my own. “Can I be of service?”

“Apparently I’m getting kidnapped and force-fed.”

“...Do you need saving?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, you’re not a match for Pinkie.”

“Wait, what?” Fleur butted in. “Are you… joking? Or are you… surely you’re joking!”

“You just heard me tell Rarity what kind of place Ponyville is. Pinkie is Celestia’s super secret trump card. You know how friendship is magic? Well, Pinkie has the most friends. With all of those people believing in her, she’s unbelievably powerful. The reason she isn’t beating Discord is because she’s using it as a trial for me to overcome to be a true hero.”

“You really shouldn’t just reveal a mare’s power level, Navi,” Pinkie said, gently slapping me with a hoof. “Besides, now she really thinks you’re joking!” Fleur was starting to look concerned.

“Must be nice,” Dash said with a sigh. “I wish I could believe Nav was joking… Living around someone who’s so powerful and impossible to escape from can be so nerve-wracking!” Pinkie’s smile deepened and I saw hints of the mania entering her eyes.

“Girls, hush!” Rarity hissed. “Some things shouldn’t be discussed…” At this point, Fleur actually seemed afraid. She was staring at Pinkie in terror.

“Fleur has experience with secrets that shouldn’t be discovered,” I said. “Don’t worry, she’s intelligent. That’s why she’ll force herself to believe we’re just joking. Isn’t that right?”

“...Let’s go get breakfast,” Fleur nervously replied. “It seems I must have blanked out for a moment. I thought I heard the most fanciful story, but for some reason, I can’t seem to recall it…”

“I’m sure a load of sugar will help brighten up your morning!” Pinkie sang, continuing to drag me along. When we finally got outside, Rarity waved us off. Pinkie finally stopped dragging me and let Kat claim my arm. Dash and Pinkie led the way into town. Kat and I followed behind them. Fleur brought up the rear, casting furtive glances toward Pinkie, but quickly looking away.

“Say the word and I cover your escape,” Kat whispered, purposefully making it loud enough for Fleur to hear. “I’ll distract her as long as I can, but…”

“I won’t let you sacrifice yourself here pointlessly,” I replied just as quietly. “I still wouldn’t be able to escape. Once the pink devil has you in her sights, it’s over.”

“Forgive my lack of vigilance, my lady. I allowed this thing to get so close without even realizing…”

“It can’t be helped. We’re talking about Pinkie, after all.”

Fleur was starting to sweat bullets. Kat and I ignored it.

Several of Ponyville’s residents were already out and about. Some were preparing for Winter Wrap Up. A few were starting to set up various stalls. All of them stopped what they were doing to stare at us. Well, they started staring at us, but all of their eyes naturally gravitated toward me.

I had a feeling nobody was expecting that ugly monster Twilight summoned to end up as an incredibly powerful noble lady. They probably would have treated me more nicely if they had. Most of the townspeople didn’t trust me and didn’t much care for me at the start. I slowly grew on them, but I definitely left for a reason.

The stares bore on me, but when Kat realized I was looking down, she purred and rubbed her head against my neck. “Relax, my lady,” she whispered. “These ants mean nothing to one who towers over them.”

Darya, ease my mind.

“Willpower buffed,” she replied in my head. “Be at ease, my lady. Their stares are of adoration, not fear, pity, or anger. You have accomplished much. You are a hero of this land. Wear that title with dignity and confidence.”

My eyes finally looked back up, only to find Dashie flying backwards in front of me. “So do those new wings actually work?” she asked. “They look really flimsy.”

“They do, but I’m going to wait a while longer to do more thorough tests. They just grew back, so I’m going to give them a little more time to make sure they’re completely mature.”

“Are they fast?”

“Nope.”

“Tch, boring. What about the tail?”

“I would show it off, but a lady should never lift her dress in public. The other tail had spikes in it, but I never got to use them. This one has a single spike. The tail itself is very flexible, almost like a tentacle. I’m not completely used to controlling it, though. I’m also going to give it more time before I do too many tests.”

“Hm… So why are your eyes so much prettier now?”

“Because your crush is getting stronger, silly!” Pinkie replied, giggling. “Everypony knows the mare you’re in love with always looks prettier!” Of course, that made Dash turn bright red and start stuttering like crazy, but we didn’t pay her any mind.

When she had finally given up trying to make us believe Pinkie was mistaken, I said, “Something in me changed at the bunker. My eyes turned bright green and my hair changed as well. It’s possible I’ll look very different come spring.”

“Very different as in covered in bark?” Dash asked.

“No, my hair might be full of flowers. I guess we’ll see.”

“Speaking of which, that portrait of yours is absolutely gorgeous!” Fleur said. Apparently she was comfortable enough to join the conversation, finally.

“As soon as I saw it, I wanted to burn down everything,” I replied. “Kat managed to restrain me.”

“So when are you going to invite us to your new pad?” Dash asked. “Or are we too low class for you now?”

“Dash, you don’t need to feel bad for being a peasant. I don’t judge you for it, I promise.”

“There are some nobles who might be very offended if you said something like that, though,” Fleur said. “Though you wouldn’t find any noble like that around Nav in the first place. She utterly terrified their leader at a party I hosted, so that faction avoids her.”

“I kinda sorta vaguely remember what you’re talking about. If I’m thinking of the right guy, he was bullying Blossom. I obviously had to defend her.”

“...You threatened to murder him.”

“So what? I’ve threatened to murder you, too.”

“Most ponies would balk at that!” Dash yelled. “Nav, you can’t just go around threatening to murder everyone!”

“Fleur was threatening to bully Taya. I obviously had to defend her.”

“Oh, actually, that is a decent enough reason,” Dashie said. “Fair enough, I guess.”

“Despite appearances, we used to be enemies,” Fleur said. “In fact, there was a time when I had Nav and Rarity arrested for treason…”

“Good times, huh?” I said with a grin.

“...I guess you have to make all kinds of friends when you become a noble, huh?” Dash slowly muttered.

“No, she ambushed me with adorableness after her usual bitchiness attacks wore off.”

“And obviously you can’t defend against that,” Pinkie said. “Ponies have gotta be your natural enemy, huh?”

“It took me a very long time to find any pony other than Applebloom adorable. Even now, my standard is pretty high. There are a few who can make it, but not many.”

“Are you saying adorableness is your weakness?” Dash asked.

“Obviously,” Pinkie said. “It’s a shame I’ve never been able to make use of it…”

“An eldritch horror is an eldritch horror, no matter what body it’s hiding in,” I said.

“It’s not very fun to play with someone who’s afraid of you,” Pinkie said. “Come on, Navi! There’s no need to be afraid. I won’t hurt you anymore, promise!”

“Does that mean you’ll stop doing things that normal people would find impossible? Because I take mental damage every time I witness it. When you dragged Vinyl Scratch into the ground right in front of me all those years ago, I almost pissed myself. Besides, even if it’s not very fun, it obviously hasn’t been stopping you.”

“Obviously I can’t do that. I mean, it’s not like I even understand how any of what I do works. I just wanna do something, so I do it!”

“That’s the definition of how true magic works,” I said. “Celestia told me that the waking world is like a dream and that for those who are lucid, changing reality is as simple as willing it. I guess it shouldn’t be surprising that magic is deeply connected to madness. After all, one would have to be mad to even consider changing reality using willpower alone.”

“...What does that say about Twilight?” Dash slowly asked.

“Do you remember what happened that time she thought she was late for her friendship report?” I asked. “No offense to her, but she has a few screws loose somewhere.” I’m sure Dash probably wanted to retort, but the entrance bell for Sugarcube Corner cut her off and made her stay silent. Unfortunately, it was opening because Twilight was walking out. And man, did she look peeved.

“Mad, am I?” Twiggles asked in a voice much calmer than she looked.

“I started my statement with no offense, so I won’t allow you to take any,” I said. “Especially after siccing Pinkie on me.”

“No, she tracked you down on her own. I just knew she would bring you here. I was coming out to greet you when I got to hear something quite interesting. How exactly are you going to stop me from taking offense?”

The thought of kissing her crossed my mind, but I wasn’t sure if that was the best idea in front of all the people staring at us. Plus, Kat was still clinging to me. So instead I decided to compromise. “By not taking offense to the one you did sic on me. Now that I think about it, using a friend against another friend is also an act of madness, so it kinda proves my point anyway. Now, since I was dragged here, we might as well eat.”

“You weren’t dragged anywhere,” Twilight said, scoffing a little.

“That’s because I started cooperating,” I replied with a sigh. “I can’t just be seen getting dragged around town in a net anymore.”

“It’s getting more and more difficult for me to believe you’re joking,” Fleur nervously said.

“It’s for the best that you just keep believing the lie, Fleur. Don’t think about it.” With that statement, I finally started walking toward the door. The warm air and smell of cake was beckoning me. Twilight probably still wasn’t all that happy, but I did start by saying no offense. So really, getting mad was all on her.

To be honest, I wasn’t too surprised to see Applejack and Fluttershy waiting for us at a booth. Both of them looked pretty shocked, though. I doubt they were expecting to see me dressed like that. That, and I now had fairy wings. Thankfully, there weren’t too many other customers at the moment. The place was more of a bakery than a restaurant, after all.

Pinkie bustled us over toward the booth, but there was definitely no way we’d all fit. Twilight solved that problem by magicking a table over. I’m sure Kat wanted to corner me in the booth to keep me to herself… and safe, I guess, but the mix of having wings and wearing a fancy dress meant there was no way I could sit there. Instead, I made the wise choice of taking the chair at the head of the table. That way, I wouldn’t have Twilight or Fleur trying to show off by leaning against me and glaring at the other.

Of course, that didn’t stop them from claiming the chairs closest to me, allowing them to directly glare at each other instead.

Fluttershy was kind enough to break that tension by saying, “That dress looks lovely on you, my lady.”

“Thank you. But I’d like none of you to call me that. And please don’t compliment my clothes. I’m still of the mindset that being lovely is… weird. It’s nice to see you two again.”

“I heard you were taking a long nap,” Applejack said. “You wake up feelin’ better?”

“Yes, my head feels much more clear. Pinkie, all I ask is that you go low on the sugar, at least for me.”

“I’ll take that into consideration,” she said. “I’ll be back soon!” With that, she trotted off to the kitchen.

“So, Nav… About Pinkie…” Fleur quietly said.

“It’s best not to talk about Pinkie,” Applejack said. “Besides, Nav’s more interesting right now. I heard you were building a school out near the Everfree.”

“You heard right,” I said. “I’m working with the changelings and Twilight to build a university. It’ll be part of step one in turning the Everfree into something livable.”

“Are you seriously gonna try taming that place?” Dash asked.

“I’m going to tame it,” I said. “No need for the word try. Now that I know the secret behind it, it’s only a matter of dealing with the monsters and clearing the corruption in sections. Turns out, the Everfree is a grove built by a tree sister ally of Luna’s who suicide-bombed Celestia’s old capital in a revenge attack for banishing Luna. I actually need to ask Luna how that talk went.”

“The tree sister wants to speak with you,” Twilight said. “It slipped my mind, with everything else. From what Luna was saying, she’ll need one of your seeds to revive.”

“I’ll go out there with Luna after I make my next one, then.”

“Your… seed?” Fleur said. “Is that in any way related to those magically blooming cherry blossom trees behind your house?”

“Yes. Don’t worry about it. Fluttershy, there are probably a lot of animals in the Everfree that don’t classify as monsters. Is it true you’re building an animal sanctuary?”

“With Luna’s help, it’s already done,” Fluttershy replied with a smile. “I was surprised when she showed up at my door, but she ended up being very helpful! I don’t know if she took any of my lessons to heart, though…”

“Thank you for trying,” I said. “If you ever need her help again, please borrow her and drill those lessons into her skull. That mare is utterly terrifying.”

“Didn’t you make her a vassal, though?” Applejack asked. “Why, if you’re that scared of her?”

“I didn’t have a choice. My body was taken over by an insane water elemental who forced me to make Luna a vassal. I haven’t rescinded it because I’ve decided I’d rather have her under my control than letting her be on her own with her mentality and powers. She’s way too dangerous.”

“Do you really think you can keep her under control?” Dash asked.

“Yes, of course. The thing Luna most wants is to be kept under control. As long as I don’t give her too much leeway, she almost definitely won’t do anything inexcusable. Also, I’ve cleansed all the elementals of corruption, so they probably won’t go insane anymore. One is in her, so she should be safe.”

“That’s the second time you mentioned corruption,” Fluttershy said. “What’s wrong with the Everfree? And what was wrong with the elementals?”

“Two different types of corruption,” Twilight said. “In the Everfree, the tree sister cursed her seed with dark magic. When she planted it, the area around her started filling with dark magic. This brought in dangerous monsters and magical beings that thrived in it. In that case, the corruption is a curse.”

“And the elementals had corrupt programming,” I said. “As human machines, they were initially imperfect. Over time, they degraded. A lot of the degradation was in their internal programming, which dictated how they behaved. This corruption caused aberrant behavior like body-snatching, threatening to turn me into a happy mother, and promising to slowly warp my mind over time until there’s nothing left of the original me but a memory. We found a different human machine at the bunker that was designed with the ability to repair corruption, so we used it to fix the elementals.”

“...So you can really clean up the Everfree?” Applejack asked, her eyes going wide, completely ignoring my mental trauma. “Are you actually gonna put a town there?”

“That remains to be seen. I’ll definitely have roads and train tracks built through it. That’ll cut travel time down by a ton to some places and it has to be done before I can think about building anything. Plus, there’s a whole bunch of spooky shit in there that needs to be thoroughly investigated and either destroyed or blocked off.”

“We don’t need another storm of Pinkies, that’s for sure,” Applejack said.

“Wait, storm of Pinkies?” Fleur asked. “Now I simply have to know!”

“Pinkie found a magic cloning pool,” I said. “A good chunk of the town got damaged. We had to call Celestia in to murder them all. I think that’s technically a state secret, though, so you didn’t hear it from me.”

“...So this is what a town made as a mad science project feels like,” Fleur said. “Ponyville seems quite interesting.”

“It’s not a place for the faint of heart,” I said. “People randomly burst through windows, sometimes things fall from the sky, spontaneous song magic hits about once a week, villains show up every now and then, and it’s usually one of the mares you see before you at the center of it.”

“You attract more trouble than any of us,” Fluttershy said. “Are you really happier in Canterlot than you were here?”

“It’s less about location and more about mentality. I bought and paid for the house I have right now and built up a group of reliable subordinates who are happy to do my bidding. Of course I’m happier now. But do you really think I could sustain all of my retainers in Ponyville? And do you really think Ponyville would be happy having a large group of dangerous strangers showing up all of a sudden? Even in Canterlot, the amount of soldiers I have on staff is unheard of.”

“I think Ponyville would be happy to get a contingent of well-trained guards,” Fluttershy said. “You just mentioned that villains show up, and yet the princess hasn’t sent anypony but Twilight to help protect us.”

“Then who does that mare with the weird eyes work for?” Kat asked. “She’s a grey pegasus with blond hair. She appears to be a very well-trained operative who watches my lady and I every time we’re in Ponyville. I assumed she was Celestia’s eyes on the town.”

“What, do you mean Derpy?” Dash asked. “No bucking way! She’s far too clumsy!”

“That’s what I meant by well-trained,” Kat said. “It’s an act. Since she’s had a few years to work on it, I didn’t notice at first. Could she be a changeling spy?”

“She’s definitely not,” Twilight said. “After we found out Bon-Bon was a changeling, I used magic to check for more. She was the only one in Ponyville. But… could she really be working for Celestia?”

“That would explain a lot of things,” I said. “Remember that time I played Santa? She was the only person awake when I came by, and she gave me cookies and milk as though she was expecting me. And a little while later, I found her in a top secret testing facility in Canterlot while I was provoking Cadance into ruining her name. I was too busy at the time to pay it any mind, but if she actually does work for the throne, it would make sense. But it’s rude to probe into someone’s backstory. And it’s dumb to fuck with a royal agent. It’s much better to not be noticed by Celestia, after all.”

“When are you just gonna cut her head off, already?” Dash asked.

“Don’t you worry your adorable little head about it, Dashie,” I said. I would have booped her, but she was sitting too far away. “Also, it’s probably best not to talk about treason in public.”

“Celestia is… no longer a threat,” Twilight said. “The less that’s said about it, the better.”

“So… can we expect more magic fruit when you tame the Everfree?” Applejack asked. I guess that was one way to change the subject.

“Yes. Speaking of which, there’s a fruit in there for you, Fleur. It enables pregnancy.”

“...I might like your assistance in obtaining some in the future,” she quietly replied.

“Be careful with that stuff,” Applejack said. “It uh… it might make you do something embarrassing.”

Pinkie came out pushing a small trolley of food. At the moment, there were just a few dozen muffins on it. She deposited those on our table and quickly trotted back to the kitchen to work even more of her magic.

“So… are these actually safe to eat?” Fleur whispered.

“Yes, they’re perfectly fine for ponies. Kat and I might get too much sugar, though. Besides, this is almost definitely just the opening act. I mean, some of these don’t even have icing on them. It’s not a Pinkie breakfast if at least half of it isn’t sugar.”

“Muffins without mental trauma are the best,” Kat said, nomming one. “They taste so much better when I’m not dying on the inside!” Thankfully, everyone ignored Kat’s drama.

Since the taste-tester was still alive, the others started chowing down. I thought about it, but I had a feeling Pinkie had something ridiculous in store for me and I’d need plenty of room for it.

“So how are you planning on cleaning up the forest?” Fluttershy asked. “Is there any way I can help?”

“One of the courses I want to teach at the university is monster hunting. I can use the hunters to clear sections of the forest at a time, then cleanse the corruption so monsters don’t congregate. I’m not sure if there would be anything you can do, but after all the monsters are gone, there will be plenty of room for normal animals to move in. If any of the safe creatures in your conservation want a new home, they’d be welcome. It’ll probably be a while before I start developing anything more than roads.”

“I’ll see if I can find any colonists,” Fluttershy replied with a nod. “It’ll be hard to convince them to return to the Everfree, so I might need your help to protect them until they understand the monsters are gone.”

“I’m not sure what all I can do, but I’ll at least try.” The seeds I was going to plant to counteract the corruption should keep monsters away, if I was understanding correctly. The timberwolves were also intelligent, so I could try to work with them as well. It made me regret leaving my pet timber puppy behind, but they can’t survive too far away from the forest anyway. “Applejack, you think the local farmers would be willing to sell food to the university? I know some of the ponies around here don’t like change, and a university showing up out of nowhere is a pretty big one.”

“That ain’t gonna be a problem,” she replied. “You’ve helped Equestria plenty. Plus, you’ve recommended all of our businesses enough while you were in Canterlot that we’ve had a pretty big uptick. This town may be a hotspot for trouble, but just about everypony who works here is an expert in their craft. Thanks to all the extra business, I’m sure we can sell things to you at a nice discount.”

“Good. Would you mind if I turned Ponyville into a massive trading hub?”

“...Yeah, I would,” she slowly said. “Please don’t do that.”

“Why Ponyville?” Fluttershy asked. She had a little bit of muffin on her cheek, which we all ignored.

“I know the people here, including the mayor. It’s close to my official territory and also close to Canterlot. Despite the town being a hotspot for trouble, just about everybody who works here is an expert in their craft. I figured if the place became a trading hub, they could more easily export their goods to earn higher prices. I’d work as the middleman who transports the goods via train, airship, or other means. I figured it would be wise to ask some actual residents before I do any more in-depth planning.”

“Using my own words against me is dirty,” Applejack said, but she was smiling. “You ain’t wrong that we could earn more money that way, but… None of us produce enough for that. You know this town is small, Nav. Most businesses only have one or two specialized employees. We have our hooves full with just the work we’re doing now.”

“She’s right,” Pinkie said from right next to me. Suddenly she was putting a plate in front of me. The entire thing was covered in a massive Belgian waffle with plenty of syrup, blueberries, and a smiley face made of whipped cream. “The Cakes stay fully booked. So does Rarity. Bon Bon’s candy store always sells out every day. The spa sisters always have at least a week’s worth of appointments before their next availability. Ponyville isn’t big enough for your ambitions, Navi.” With that final dream-killing statement, she hoofed me a fork that looked wholly inadequate to handle the giant waffle before me. Still, it was my job as a noble to show the lowly peasants how it’s done, so I took that fork and prepared myself.

“...Can you really eat all that?” Twilight asked.

“Pinkie believes in me. That means I have no choice. Besides, I noticed last night that I can eat more now. The new body I got can handle more.”

“You’re a growing young lady,” Pinkie said, patting my head gently. “Enjoy, Navi!”

Thankfully, I hadn’t let the muffins tempt me. I began carving into the waffle, determined not to lose to the pink menace. She giggled and trotted back off to the kitchen, surely plotting to force even more sugar on me.

That said, the waffle was delicious.

Though it stopped being fun when Twilight and Fleur decided to take turns feeding me. Dashie’s jealous glances were adorable, though Kat’s jealous glances were a little spooky.

Once the behemoth of a waffle was gone, Pinkie swooped the plate up and replaced it with a plate full of tiny chocolate chip flapjacks. The butter was still melting into them. This time, she placed some syrup on the side.

“Pinkie, are you the true final boss?” I asked.

“I’m simply a stepping stone on your path, silly! If you can’t defeat the boss of the starting village, how can you ever hope to defeat the secret hidden bosses like Arachne and Hera?”

“No one said anything about losing,” I said, taking up my mighty fork once more. “Hera’s powerup has given me the strength it takes to finally bring you down!” Fleur was watching on, utterly mystified. Twilight was face hoofing in disappointment. Kat was utterly focused on the muffins. Dash and Fluttershy were watching and giggling. Applejack blended into the background too much for me to pay attention to.

“We’ll see about that,” Pinkie said, giggling ominously. She pushed her trolley back to the kitchen, still giggling like crazy.

“Where are the Cakes?” Applejack asked. “Shouldn’t they be stopping her?”

“This contest is basically to see what happens first,” I said. “Either I tap out and admit defeat or the Cakes catch Pinkie using all of their stock and yell at her.” Darya, buff my stomach! I don’t know if she actually did anything, but I began eating the delicious flapjacks in a way that was only slightly becoming of a lady. At the very least, I didn’t get any syrup or butter on my face or dress.

“I can see why you chose to move to Canterlot,” Fleur said. “Pinkie is quite the interesting pony, it seems.”

“She’s a pink demon,” I said between bites. Apparently that was enough for Twiggles and Fleur to start feeding me again, laughing all the while. Since it was just one of the consequences that comes from accidentally building a harem, I had to put up with it. I was starting to feel full, but I knew I could resist a few more waves.

The next round was a large peach parfait. It was amazing.

After that was a quiche full of cheese. My inner southerner devoured it in a heartbeat.

The final boss was something Pinkie called a sweet potato apple bake. It had sweet potatoes, apples, various nuts, and honey all baked into a sweet bread. It was super thick and very yummy, but I felt uncomfortably full when I was finished.

As soon as I set my fork down, Pinkie removed the plate with a huge grin on her face. I took a moment to clean my mouth with a napkin before staring down at Pinkie. “Thank you for breakfast. It was definitely food.”

“Yep, it sure was!” she happily replied. “You did it, Nav! You managed to hold out until Cup Cake found me! How’s it feel?”

“Like I’m a true winner,” I said, finally relaxing in my seat. “And also a little bloated. I haven’t eaten that much in… well, for as long as I can remember, actually. What the hell, did my tree sister evolution kick off again? I wonder if it’s being stored magically somehow?”

“I dunno,” Pinkie said. “By the way, here’s the bill!” She set it down on the table and then disappeared. Everyone else had gotten their own things aside from muffins, so the tab was probably pretty high. I didn’t even have a chance to look at it before two different magical grips covered it.

“I’m the one who invited Nav to Ponyville,” Fleur said with a serene smile as she stared Twilight down. “It’s only fair that I pick up any expenses related to it.”

“I’m the one who made sure Nav stayed in town long enough to get dragged here,” Twilight said. She had on a very sweet grin, though her eyes were glaring at Fleur. “I think it’s only fair that the one with a reliable source of income covers the tab.”

“I can’t let someone cover the bill every time,” I said. “Doppel packed me some bits. I’m sure I can…” I reached down to my coin purse, but it was already floating away, covered in a purple aura. “Um.”

Twilight’s horn lit up brighter and the bits vanished. “I sent them back home,” Twiggles said. “Don’t worry, sweetie. You don’t need to pay for anything when you’re on a date with me.”

“That sounds a little condescending, not gonna lie,” I said.

“Sorry, I should have started with no offense. Anyway, I think this is something Fleur and I can work out between ourselves!”

“Clinginess is unappealing,” Fleur said. “Nav may enjoy being controlled in some instances, but not in all.”

“Yeah, that was kinda rude,” I said. “But fine, you two figure it out on your own.”

“...It suddenly seems so petty now,” Fleur said with a sigh. “I concede.”

Twilight grinned in triumph and finally floated the bill over. As soon as she saw the number on it, her smile twitched a little. “W-well… I guess I w-win, huh?” For some reason, she was sweating slightly. Her horn lit up and a mound of bits appeared on the table where the stack of muffins used to be. “I guess I need to push up my publishing schedule…”

Fleur smirked and said, “It truly was a delightful breakfast. Thank you for covering the bill, Miss Twiley!”

“...Yeah.”

To be fair, if I had been the one to pay, I would have needed to hit a bank. I wasn’t expecting it to be that expensive, but we had eaten quite a lot. But whatever, it wasn’t my problem. “So, I think it might be time to get back to Canterlot.”

“Why are you always in such a hurry to leave us behind?” Dash asked.

Because you’re annoying in large doses? “I just got out of the coma yesterday afternoon. It’s good to see friends again, but I have noble duties to do, plus personal business to take care of. And if I’m lucky, I can still walk Taya to school. That’ll help settle my stomach. Why are you always in a hurry to make me sound like a naughty girl instead of taking my words in a better light?”

“What? Going to Canterlot would mean leaving us behind! I wasn’t making you sound naughty!”

“But you did sound accusatory,” Fluttershy said, patting Dash’s shoulder. “Lady Navarone is very busy.”

“If you do go starting a business, there are things the ponies here might want to import,” Applejack said. “Ask around and I’m sure you can find all kinds of things the ponies here need but have to go to a bigger city to get.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said. “I have a few possible things in mind to fix it, but it’ll require more thought. Fleur, Twilight, you ready to go?”

“I am,” Fleur said. She had been devouring donuts, but managed to avoid any sugar on her face at all. It was impressive.

“Yep, I’m ready,” Twilight said with a nod. “I did my duty by forcing you to see everyone.”

Thanks, Obama. I finally stood and smoothed over my dress. It sucks that this action is becoming automatic. “It was good to see everyone again.” Kat almost instantly appeared at my side, of course.

“You’ll definitely have to come to the pageant,” Fleur said as she stood. “Navi’s gonna be so cute!” Joke’s on you, I’m gonna lose on purpose.

“Since Nav definitely won’t tell you when, I’ll send you formal invitations later,” Twilight said as she removed herself from her seat. “Rarity’s gonna make her adorable!” Yep, shoulda just died at birth.

“I’ll definitely be there!” Dash said. “I gotta see Nav all dolled up!”

“You sound as bad as Rarity,” Applejack said, shaking her head. “Though I do kinda wanna see it… Maybe I’ll bring the whole family!”

“I’ll definitely be cheering for you,” Fluttershy said with a warm smile. “You’ve come so far, my lady!” Didn’t I just tell you not to call me that?

“I’m mostly just competing as a formality,” I said. “Plus, Fleur and Kat basically forced me into it for their own sick amusement.”

“Blossom was there, too,” Kat was quick to say.

“You know I can’t stay angry at her. Anyway, the point is, don’t expect much out of me at the competition. I probably won’t last long, unless the game somehow gets rigged in my favor.” I stared quite pointedly at Fleur. “Which isn’t going to happen, right?”

“Of course not,” she said. “This is an attempt to bring the races together. Rigging the competition would defeat the purpose, especially if we rigged it toward the one who came up with the idea, who also happens to be the only member of her race. There were some who didn’t even want to let you compete, after what happened in the tournaments at the Europe parties. Needless to say, there are enough vigilant eyes to ensure no cheating happens.”

“Good. Farewell for now. Twilight?”

“I’ll see you all soon!” she said. With that, her horn lit up and we appeared back in my anteroom.