Author's Notes:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1l9hXlbS2bJHYen7ag9qs8TfDHoI04FqaX4NrichmlG8/edit

Once all the cutesie shit was done and we were all sitting at the table again, Fleur took a moment to sip at her tea before saying, “What next, Navarone?”

I stared at her for a moment before lifting my laptop bag and placing it on the table. “What time is it?”

“Late enough for Celestia to be asleep,” Blossom replied.

“Let me just rest my eyes for a moment to check…” I placed my head on the table and entered the world of dreams, where I quickly found Celestia’s dream. Once I had it in my sights, I woke back up. “Looks like you’re right. Our dear princess is asleep.”

“Killing her would be easy,” Kat said. “Her entire palace is open. She’s flaunting her wealth.”

“It’s a show,” Blossom said. “Assassinating Princess Celestia would be nearly impossible. The peytral she wears around her neck detects and cures poisons. Ever since Nav showed her what his crossbow can do, she built an auto-teleporting enchantment into one of her shoes that goes off if something small unexpectedly penetrates an invisible bubble around herself. Her crown cuts through invisibility effects if they’re close enough. Until the past few months, I was in charge of the guards around her. After Luna disappeared, Celestia took over her own guard and started filling it with stallions I’ve never heard of. Guards with no records, no personalities, and no lives. Guards who serve only Princess Celestia, and are very happy to inform you of that. Even if you get around all of her defenses, you still have to contend with her, and she’s no walk in the park. She’s spent six thousand years preparing for someone to kill her. Now that Nav’s shown her how easy it can be, she’s making up for lost time.”

“Killing Celestia is not what we want to do,” I said. “I don’t like planning for failure.”

“Who’s this we?” Kat asked, looking at me with her pretty little eyes. “I see no reason not to kill her. After what she’s done to you, I’d say it’s only fair.”

“I find myself agreeing with Katrina,” Fleur slowly said. “The nobility has been wary of Celestia for a very long time for very good reasons. Ponies who ask the wrong questions have a habit of… dying horrible deaths.”

“Ask Watcher about his military history,” Blossom said. “The vast majority of it has been silencing those who question Princess Celestia. The fifteen stallions and mares you command have murdered untold numbers of ponies, Nav. Celestia is very particular about her status quo. Those who step outside of it are usually dealt with.”

“Poorly, as it happens,” I sighed. “She’s not popular with the rest of the world. The griffins hate her, the dragons really fucking hate her, the changelings were at war with her, and she’s cut the rest of the world out so much we don’t really know who else is out there.”

“Killing her might be the best case scenario,” Fleur said. She and Blossom both seemed to stiffen up when she said that. When nothing happened for a moment, they relaxed. “I… I thought she might… Oh dear…”

Blossom shivered. “We’re taught that Princess Celestia is our eternal protector and guide in the dangerous world. Our… sun, in some ways. Everypony looks up to her.”

“And those who don’t…?” Kat asked.

“Are to be expunged,” Blossom coldly replied, staring at me. “You don’t know what it’s like, Nav. Not really. You didn’t grow up like this, with her always… there. She’s… she’s everything to us!”

“Everything and all-powerful,” Fleur said with a nod. “There has never been a doubt in anypony’s mind who the most powerful pony on the planet was.”

“Alright, let’s take a moment,” I said. “It’s important that we all know what we want out of this. What exactly our goals are. Can we agree on that?”

Kat finally took the teacup in front of her and sipped at it. “My goal is to support you, my lady.” Way to be useless.

“I want to replace Princess Celestia with you,” Blossom said with a nod. At least someone knows how to put her cards on the table.

Fleur eyed Blossom for a moment before turning her gaze to me. “...You first,” she said. And I guess the ball’s back in my court.

“Discord is waiting and watching. I don’t know what exactly it is, but I know it’s capable of manipulating events in such a way that it causes huge extinctions. It uses agents like Celestia to sow misery in the world, keeping events constantly churning so it keeps power. Discord put her in place six thousand years ago before she imprisoned him in stone. Part of what I’m doing in the world is making peace everywhere I go, trying to undo all the little catastrophes that are just waiting to happen. I know I’m doing something right, because he tried ordering Pyrite to kill me. My goal is to kill Discord.”

“If he put Celestia in charge, it sounds like Celestia needs to die,” Kat said.

“...I don’t understand,” Blossom said. “He put Celestia in charge, but… she made all of her ponies be as harmonious as possible. Wouldn’t that hurt Discord?”

“Celestia made her ponies be harmonious to each other. But what about all the other races? There’s no war quite like a race war. Good ol’ fashioned us versus them. Predator versus prey. Pony versus griffin, changeling, minotaur? He made Celestia knowing she’d be the perfect weapon for a disharmonic world. She created an extremely powerful nation that knows nothing about anything around them. You ponies can’t survive without magic to influence the land. You can’t even let the fucking weather handle itself. Every single thing is given to you guys and all you have to do is whatever Celestia tells you. What do you think is gonna happen if he just snaps his fingers one day and Celestia’s gone? Suddenly you’re surrounded by a world full of enemies who despise you and you have no idea why and no way of protecting yourselves.”

“It would be chaos,” Fleur whispered, her eyes going wide.

“The last time Discord really reared his head was to kill the Alicorn Empire,” I said. “His magic let him tear an alicorn into three. One side became the earth ponies. One side became the unicorns. One side became the pegasi. He turned some of the others into changelings. The rest, he just let watch as their beautiful, harmonious lives slipped away into pure insanity. And he’s free. Killing Celestia isn’t our highest priority. Dealing with this thing is.”

“You said Discord put Celestia in charge,” Fleur said. “What exactly do you mean by that?”

“I found a history book that explained it,” I said. “In an old pocket dimension inhabited by an ornery old human.”

“Athena?” Kat asked.

“Tch, who else? I think the book may have been written by Chrysalis or Reginald, who were also there when Discord was defeated the last time. Discord gave Celestia the tools to defeat him, the so-called Elements of Harmony. She and Luna used them to seal him in stone, but not before he made her promise to guide the ponies well. That ended the Alicorn cycle and started the next cycle. Now that the ponies have cemented their supremacy, it looks like he’s free and running amok again.”

“And Celestia is aware of this?” Blossom slowly asked.

“Oh yeah. The last few times I really spoke to her, she asked if I would be interested in joining her and Chrysalis on a retreat. Forever. Celestia knows Discord is here and she wants to run.”

“...I don’t blame her,” Kat said.

“But it’s exactly what Discord needs,” I said. “If Celestia bows out for any reason right now, be it death or fear, he’ll have free rein to do whatever he wants.”

“What a wonderfully weird world,” Fleur slowly said, her eyes meeting mine and holding them. “A wonderfully weird world where a human, the race you told me first created Discord, is here just in time for Discord to rear his head again.”

“...We’re being open, blunt, and upfront at this table,” I said. “If you have something to say, say it.”

“Where did you really come from, Nav?”

“A spell in a book that Twilight swears up and down went missing. I asked her to show it to me and she couldn’t. I’ll tell you right here and right now that I am not a real human. I do not have a soul. I am entirely a magical construct. I went back in time and met myself and it was… horrifying.”

“I think Discord made you,” Fleur said.

“I think so, too,” I replied. All of them seemed taken aback by that. “Which is why I’m here, now. Which is why I’m being open and upfront. Which is why I’m trying to be completely transparent. I think Discord made me and I have no idea why. If you guys have any clue, by all means, tell me.”

Blossom leaned in a little closer. “Are you… you’re not… are you Discord?”

“I’m very much my own person,” I said, booping her on the nose. “I have all the memories of a life before the humans died out. I’ve gotten a few hints that the first extinction cycle was caused by Discord trying to kill himself. As far as he knew, the only way for him to do so was for all disharmony in the world to stop. So he killed everyone. Or tried to. Apparently reality warped when so many souls died all at once and things became… malleable. That’s when the person I was, Doctor Anonymous, worked with the other survivors to create the race of the elementals. They were made to guide the races that were to come and defend those races against Discord. The humans designed the elementals with too many flaws. Discord saw a chance to manipulate some of them and he took it, plunging the world into war again. After that, things start getting fuzzy. Some unknown but great amount of time passed between then and now. There are a few human-made installations here and there in the world with some answers and I’m making plans to go to another one soon. But here and now, I’m putting everything on the table. You all know that I think I was made by Discord. You all know that I want to stop him. You all know Celestia was put in power by him. What do you think we should do?”

“I have no opinions,” Kat said with a shrug. “I am yours to command.”

“...He put Celestia in power for a reason,” Blossom said. “If what you’re saying is true, we need to replace her.”

“You still haven’t told us how you plan to stop Discord, Nav.” Fleur said.

“Fleur… I just told you that Discord literally created me. I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing. I don’t have a plan. For all I know, he could just decide on a whim to make me not exist anymore. All I’m doing is passing time, waiting for him to make a move. I have no idea what the fuck to do. I am completely horrified.” And so, it seemed, were they. Or at least, Blossom and Fleur were. Kat was just sipping at her tea.

“So you’re saying a demonic entity that lives solely to cause harm is out in the world right now. You don’t have a plan, Celestia wants to run, it ordered the dragon king around, and you don’t know of any way to stop it?” Blossom asked.

“And you want us to come up with plans,” Fleur slowly said.

“Yes, that’s what I’m telling you,” I said. “The only thing that I can think of that might kill him is total world peace. That’s why I approached Fleur and asked her if she’d be my empress. If push came to shove, I would be willing to overthrow Celestia and force the ponies into peace with the rest of the world. But I don’t know if that’ll do the trick or not.”

“...What do you know of this Discord?” Kat asked. “What is it, really? What does it want?”

I looked at Fleur. “What’s magic?”

She blinked, then went crosseyed to look at her horn for a moment before looking back at me in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“In the most basic, elementary way possible, what is magic? What makes it work?”

“Um.” She used magic to lift the cup in front of me. “It’s… belief. I believe the cup will float and I enforce my will on it until it does.” She set the cup back on its saucer.

“As far as I can tell, Discord is some kind of magical entity that thrives on… Well, discord. The belief in discord fuels him. Violence and strife gives it power. The world goes in cycles of calm to turbulent. It uses up all of its power in the turbulent periods and then goes dormant until the active periods. It just so happens that we lucked out and have some forewarning of it this time.”

Fleur tapped her horn gently before looking at me. “Nav, tell me the sky is green.”

“The sky is green.” Her horn lit up and she sighed. “I’m not lying, Fleur.”

“You’ve said a lot of far-fetched things,” she sighed, laying her head on the table. “I was just really hoping…”

“Yeah, fucking tell me about it,” I replied.

“...So she’s telling the truth?” Blossom asked. Fleur sighed again before covering her face with her hooves. “Well then. The obvious answer is to fight it, but if it feeds on fighting, that would just make it stronger.”

“That’s what the other cycles chose,” I said. “They chose to try to fight it and they ended up dying horrible deaths.”

“If there’s a magical spirit of chaos and disharmony, do you think there’s a corresponding spirit of life and harmony?” Fleur asked. “Or any other powerful entities we might be able to approach for help?”

“I got to meet the god of death,” I said. “Pretty nice guy, actually. Promised me an eternity of misery, though. He really hates Discord, but he didn’t say why. He did give me a tip, though.”

“Which was what, exactly?” Fleur asked.

“I’m a soulless human vessel. While I was in Antarctica, I found a haunted human bunker and picked up a hitchhiker. She’s attached to my neck by a spooky ghost chain. When I go to Tartarus, I’m gonna find Grogar the lich and ask him to force her soul into my body so Discord can’t just snap his fingers and kill me again.”

Blossom’s lips moved in a way that looked very much like ‘what the fuck’. When that was done, she asked, “And… what exactly will that do to you?”

“Man, I have no fucking clue. But half my personality’s already been overwritten anyway, so what the fuck ever, I guess.”

“Wait, what?” Fleur said.

“I’m pretty sure the elemental I found started overwriting some of my personality to become more like what she wanted,” I said with a shrug. “I think she killed a part of me and I don’t think I’ll ever be who I once was.”

“Nav… You realize that everything you’re saying makes me really want to hug you, right?” Fleur asked.

“I’m sitting right here,” I said, leaning back in my chair and opening up my arms. She didn’t move.

“Cascade said that’s not likely,” Kat said. “It’s possible that Flo did something to you, but not likely. She’d be happy to enter your mind and tell you for sure, though.”

“Twilight’s gonna help me out with that little problem,” I said. “I don’t think I want another elemental in me until Twilight’s done her thing.”

“Seems kinda pointless to even discuss the pageant, now,” Blossom sighed. “If everything’s going to Tartarus soon, what will it matter?”

“That’s planning for failure,” I said, reaching over to boop her nose again. Her eyes narrowed very slightly. “Living our lives in despair, just waiting for the end, fixes nothing. Be active, be happy, inspire peace. Everything we do now has a chance of weakening Discord when it comes time to finally face him. And also be thinking, because having some kind of plan would be good and I can’t do this alone.”

“...Should we keep you informed of any plans?” Fleur asked. “Discord created you. He may well be watching you. Anything we tell you is something he can discover.”

“If you wanna cut me out, I understand,” I said. “The three of you can hopefully come up with something.”

“The two of them,” Kat said. “If they do not trust you, I do not trust them.”

“I’m sticking with Nav as well,” Blossom said. “If Discord created Nav, then there has to be something good in it. And if Nav has any chance of freeing herself of its control, we have to help her reach it.”

“It was just a question,” Fleur indignantly replied. “With such a powerful entity, caution seems wise.”

“I’m gonna let you guys call the shots on this one,” I said. “I’m pretty much along for the ride. I’ll help you however I can, but I think it’s best that you guys come up with the ideas. At least, until I get my soul.”

“A water elemental could emulate a soul,” Kat said, her eyes turning blue. “You said that you lost yourself anyway and you seem to be willing to do whatever it takes to stop Discord. If you let a water elemental truly change you, you might stand a better chance.”

“...I’m gonna do some soul searching before I agree to that one,” I said.

“I think we could all do with a little of that,” Fleur sighed. “We’ve talked about a lot and we haven’t really come up with anything. Perhaps we should adjourn for the evening and call it a night…?”

I was good to go all night, but I knew Blossom probably had to get to work and Fleur was likely tired from all she had been through. “I want to show all of you something, first,” I said. “I told you I’d deliver proof that Celestia was lying. I did.” I pulled the laptop out of the bag and opened it up. The thing booted immediately and the last thing I had opened appeared. It was really kinky porn to give Twilight some ideas, so I closed it and found myself looking at a projection of the true solar system. “I hope you guys like math....”

Fleur’s head hit the table with a groan.

I returned to the ship early the next morning and found my adorable, loving daughter rolling around on my bed in glee. The door was open so she didn’t notice me at first. That let me remove the flower crown before she could see it and make fun of me. It took her a few minutes to open her eyes and notice me standing over her. When she finally saw me, her dopey grin took something of a cruel dip and she hopped off the bed. “Good morning, mommy. You look… radiant today! Is it because of a certain date with Miss Twilight Sparkle?”

“Taya, you devious little shit.”

She leaned back and lifted a hoof to her chest. “Don’t hurt my feelings, mommy,” she sarcastically replied. “I just love you ever-so-much and I want the best for you!”

“You’re a little pain in my ass, is what you are,” I replied, crossing my arms.

“You can’t really be that upset if you’re smiling, mommy!” It took me a moment to realize that what she said was true. “I thought you wanted me to do what I think is best for you! I seem to recall you saying you love me and everything I do for you!”

“Oh, I do,” I said. “I love you and I want what’s best for you, too. So I’m gonna find you a coltfriend.” Her ears shot straight up. “Oh, and he’s gonna be a charmer, too. He’ll leave you all cute and flustered and speechless. I’m gonna love it.”

Her ears twitched a few times before returning to normal. “I don’t think you’d wanna share me, mommy. And your hands might be too full with your new special somepony to focus on me.”

“Oh, your happiness will be worth it,” I said. “The cute, dopey expression on your face when he calls you his mare will be a nice bonus.”

“Maybe,” she said with a shrug. “But I bet you’ll work with Twilight to find me a special somepony. The more time you spend with her, the more time you have to realize you two were made for each other!”

“Taya, you are getting awful close to snuggle territory,” I said. “You’re being super cute right now and I might not be able to help myself for much longer.”

“Why, mommy, why would I ever want to stop, then? I’ll be cute all day and night if it means snuggles!”

“That’s it, you asked for this!” She teleported onto the bed and held out her legs to hug me as I approached. She accepted her cuddles like the good little girl she was and cooed ever-so-sweetly as I rubbed her belly.

It was a much needed break after what I went through the night before.

We were interrupted some time later by a throat being cleared at the door. I looked up to behold Gourd. “Welcome back, Nav,” he said with a nod. “I’m quite looking forward to that talk you promised me.”

“I… don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said.

“Oh? I bet Taya does. I definitely told her about the contracts.”

“He sure did, mommy!” my loving daughter said. “I’m happy you’re finally gonna tell your friends about your problems, too. It’s about time you let them help you!”

“Well, it can wait. I’m busy right now.”

“I think I’m snuggled out, actually,” Taya said, hopping out of my arms. “I’ll see you later, mommy!” She trotted out, a wide grin her her face. Gourd entered the room behind her, wearing his own big ol’ shit-eating grin. He used magic to pull the door shut behind him.

“So how was your trip?” he asked. “I see you got a new tail.”

“Shitty. So how do you want to torture me today, hm?”

“I’m not torturing you, Nav,” he sighed. “I’m trying to help you. You aren’t happy, but you’re pretending to be. I want to know why.”

“Because if you pretend to be something long enough, it just might come true,” I said.

“...Maybe. But if you become something you hate, is it worth it? I think answering that question is important. Since you don’t have much of a choice, you might as well play along.”

“You are so bossy,” I sighed, sitting up. “Fine, whatever. I’ll let you pick what we talk about today, but you only get one!”

“I wanted to ask why you hate being stared at,” he said. “I never understood your obsession with being… out of sight.”

“I was raised to believe that children are supposed to be out of sight and quiet. I guess I never broke the habit. Now, out you go.”

He didn’t move, of course. “There’s gotta be more to it than that.”

“Says who?” I asked. “Just because you want there to be more to it doesn’t mean there is.”

“...Is there more to it?” he asked.

“Of course not.” His horn lit up. We both looked at it for a moment before our eyes met again. “Is that your Gourd signal?”

“No, it’s my bullshit detector. This would be much easier and go a lot faster if you just told me the truth.”

“It would be even easier and faster if you’d just drop it.”

He sat on the floor. “Well, that’s not gonna happen. So what else is there to it, Navi?”

“Ugh. Can’t we just fuck instead?”

“I won’t say no to sex, but after we finish, we’d be right back to talking about why you hate being stared at.”

God dammit. “I’m very short for a human. Most of the time people stared at me, it was because they were thinking of ways to make fun of me. I’m also really introverted and hate having to talk to people. Being stared at and making eye contact is part of that. Most of the reason the ponies stare at me is because I’m different and it always feels like I’m on display because of it. Especially after Luna did that bullshit with the dream machine where everyone had sex dreams about me. Now it feels like everywhere I go, all eyes are on me, waiting for me to do something entertaining or something fucked up and I hate being part of the god damn freak show.”

“Nav, ponies respect you. You’re an Equestrian hero.”

“Ponies fear me, Gourd. Big difference.”

“...We respect you. Why does it matter what all the others think?”

“Because I don’t want to be an object of fear. I don’t like being in the public eye. I hate being in newspapers. I just want to go back to being a fucking nobody. I hate the fact that everything I do is broadcast all over the place, because every time I fuck up, everyone and their mother finds out about it. I can’t even go to a restaurant without people making a big deal about it!”

“You’re different and you’re special,” Gourd said. “That’s always going to attract attention, no matter where you go.”

“Which is why I don’t even know why we’re bothering to talk about this. I can’t help what I like and what I don’t and this won’t change anything.”

“It helps me understand, Nav,” he said. “That’s important to me. I’m hoping that as I come to understand you more, I’ll be able to help you. I’m not sure if that’ll be by helping you cope with the things you hate or by helping you avoid the things you hate. Right now, I’m just hoping you’ll let me really get to know you.”

“Even though I don’t want you to?”

“Yes. I have a feeling it will be good for both of us. I also have a feeling that you know it’ll be good for both of us and you’re just being stubborn.”

“Nah, I think you’re wasting our time.” His horn lit up. “Oh come on!”

He smirked. “Do you think you would mind the staring as much if they were watching you out of respect instead of fear? Because I think it’s possible to turn your reputation around, if you really want.”

“I don’t like being stared at period. I wouldn’t like it even if it was ten guys getting ready to run a train on me. I am working on turning my reputation around. All I think that’ll do is change the nature of the stares, which still isn’t what I want. I would love to just be another face in the crowd. But now that I’m competing in Fleur’s stupid Miss Universe bullshit, that’ll never happen.”

“You’re… competing in a beauty pageant?”

“Yes. And I don’t need any smartass replies. I already hate myself for agreeing.”

“...I wasn’t going to make any. I’m proud of you, Nav. And I’m happy for you. Everyone on the ship’s gonna be rooting for you, I know it.”

“Tch, whatever. It’s just more fucking bullshit that I have to deal with. And it’ll mean more people staring at me, which is just fucking wonderful.”

“This will be good for you, Nav. In a lot of ways. The best part is, when you win, I’ll be able to say I’ve slept with the most beautiful female in the world!”

“Go fuck yourself with a rake, Gourd.” He snickered. “Trust me when I say that I am in no way beautiful. I’m not in this contest to win, I’m in it to prove to the ponies that I’m not a ‘violent, unpredictable barbarian’, as Fleur put it. I’m gonna do my best to lose gracefully.”

“I see. And what does Fleur think about that?”

“She doesn’t know yet. She might root on me to win, she might not. It doesn’t really matter to me, either way. I’m only competing because she twisted my arm into it.”

“Hm. And does Taya know you’re going to bomb the competition yet?”

“Taya doesn’t even know I’m competing yet. I wasn’t planning on telling her at all, actually. I definitely wouldn’t tell her that I was going to blow it on purpose, because I have a feeling she would make me suffer.”

“Interesting… You know, there’s a spell that turns you into a pony. Have you ever considered using it to blend in with crowds?”

“Yes. It doesn’t work. Unfortunately, the spell seems to turn me into an extremely attractive version of everything. So I still end up sticking out.”

“You could wear a bag over your head.”

“Then I’ll be the weirdo with a bag over her head and people will still stare at me.”

“They’ll be staring at the bag, not at you.”

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. Point is, I’m not doing that. The stares are here to stay. If anything, they’re getting worse over time, as my body changes more and more.”

“Well… If it makes you feel any better, the tail makes your ass look much nicer.”

“It actually does, a little. At least someone thinks my hideously deformed body is attractive. So are you done torturing me yet?”

“I never even started. Would you like for me to?”

“I wouldn’t mind if you stopped pretending like you were doing me a favor by forcing me to do something I hate.”

“No can do, my lady. Let me just check to make sure I understand correctly. You don’t like being stared at because you think everyone is judging you for every little thing you do, both good and bad, and you’re worried about what they think even though you pretend you don’t care what anyone else thinks.”

“Yeah, sounds about right. Now get the fuck out.”

“As you wish.” He stood again and turned to the door, but stopped before he could leave. “Before I go, would you like to—”

“No.”

“...Of course, my lady.” He finished leaving and I sighed in relief. When I couldn’t hear his hoofsteps anymore, I put on some heavier clothes, then wandered down to Spike’s room. His door was closed, so I knocked. He opened it a few seconds later, wearing nothing but a grin.

“Howdy, Nav.”

“Hello. Wanna go see Reginald real quick?”

“I mean… not really.”

“Well, I’m gonna go see Reginald real quick. You’re welcome to come with me if you want. I think he would appreciate it and I’m sure you have some stuff to talk to him about.”

He sighed. “I guess. Are we bringing anyone else?”

“No, it’ll just be us. Ready?”

“Yeah.” We walked up to the deck and jumped over the side. Even with the extra layers, it was still cold as shit and I kinda found myself wishing I could just cuddle up in Spike’s strong, warm arms. Then I realized how gay that was and decided the cold wasn’t too bad, all things told.

It didn’t take us too terribly long to get to Reginald’s cave. The great wyrm was actually sitting outside, watching the skies. It looked like he smiled when he saw us, but the smile was gone when we finally landed. “Hello again, my friends,” he said with a nod.

“You sure about that?” I asked. “Leaving me to Pyrite’s lack of mercy wasn’t all that friendly. Neither was sending me to Bahamut without any information.”

“I’m afraid I have no control over what Pyrite does,” he rumbled. “And you decided to go to Bahamut’s mountain.”

“Bahamut almost turned me into a breeding sow and Pyrite literally tortured me. If you had just given me all the information I needed, I could have gotten into and out of Iceland without any trouble at all!”

“And everything would have been the same,” he said. “You are a being of change, Navarone. I knew when you went to my homeland, you would make things better. But I knew the only way for that to happen is if you didn’t know what to avoid. I knew that sending you there with the least amount of information would result in greater numbers of changes.”

“So you used me.”

“Yes, I did. I ask that you forgive me. I only wanted what was best for my species, and I knew your intervention would likely result in that.”

“I’m not a fan of being used, Reginald.”

“Not many are.”

“I’m also not a fan of being tortured.”

“...Again, not many are. I was not expecting Pyrite’s reaction to you. I also wasn’t expecting you to cure his mind. All of dragonkind owes you a debt of gratitude, Navarone. Pyrite did you a disservice. If it is any recompense, I plan to leave you and Spike the entirety of my hoard.” Spike gasped. “With Luna out of power, my place is no longer here. I am going to return to Iceland and catch up on events, then return to Pyrite’s service. It would take too long to move everything and it does no one any good sitting alone and collecting dust in this cave. I hope that it will go some way toward making amends for my actions against you, Nav.”

“Did you really love Luna?”

He blinked and his mouth clicked shut. “That is… not a question I expected from you.”

“Oh. Is it a question you’re gonna answer?”

“I greatly admired Luna. She became my closest friend. There were occasions when I believe we both longed for more, but… those occasions never overlapped. Not that it would have mattered. Celestia would never have allowed it.”

“Luna told me how much you meant to her,” I said. “And she told me that the only reason Celestia was willing to help the two of you escape is because Luna promised never to interfere with the dragons again and to stop spending nearly as much time with you.”

“...I see. That is something Luna never made known to me. However, I expected something of that nature had occurred.”

“Luna also told me that was a significant part of what drove her to become Nightmare Moon.” Spike gasped again. “She missed you. A lot.”

“And I missed her. I’m afraid it’s a moot point now, though. She is imprisoned somewhere and Celestia will not tell me where. I would very dearly like to speak to her to learn the truth of what you claim she did to you, but I don’t know if I’ll ever get the chance.”

“She’s in Mount Oberon, guarding the exit of Tartarus,” I said. “And she abdicated her throne, so Celestia no longer has a say in what Luna does or who she associates with. You could go see her right now, if you wanted.”

He slowly stood and stretched his wings. “Then that is where I will go. Thank you for this information, Navarone. I have a feeling that our paths will cross again.” Before I could reply, he jumped into the air and then soared off, buffeting Spike and I with wind. So much for asking about Spike’s mom.

“How did you know where Luna was?” Spike asked.

“She told me. Let’s go back to the ship and get them to fly over here to load up this treasure.”

“Can… can I wait here? I wanna see it!”

“Sure, I guess. But don’t go crazy and get huge.”

“I’m not! I was gonna give you my share anyway. I didn’t do anything to earn it… I just wanna, you know, look at it first.”

“Whatever, man. I’m gonna go get the ship. I’ll probably see if Rarity’s home on the way over and get her to modify some of my clothes to fit around this stupid fucking tail.”

“Have fun!” I snorted and took off, flying back to Canterlot. By the time I got in the air, Reginald was already out of sight.

Canterlot wasn’t too terribly far away, so it didn’t take me long to land back on the ship. The deck was still abandoned, so I went down to Gourd’s room. He wasn’t there, so I went back up to the meeting room. He and Watcher were working on something in there. “I need the ship to do something,” I said.

“What’s that?” Gourd asked.

“Spike and I just went to talk to Reginald. He bequeathed his entire hoard to me. It’s quite a lot of stuff. I’m gonna need the ship to move it to the bank.”

“...How much treasure we talkin’?” Gourd asked.

“Enough that everyone on the ship’s getting a share,” I replied. “I’ll take what I just used to buy a house and split the rest up among everyone else. You guys get to decide who gets what. We’re going to take some time before Tartarus. Everyone’s about to get all the money they need to enjoy that time while they have it.”

“Sure that’s a good idea?” Watcher asked. “My soldiers are loyal, but that much money might make a few of them wonder why going to Tartarus is worth it.”

“Anyone who wants to stay behind is free to,” I said. “We’re trying to save the entire world from a fate that might possibly be worse than death. If we fail, all that money’s gonna be worthless anyway. Let them know that before anyone decides to jump ship.”

“What about Twilight and her friends?” Gourd asked.

“They’re members of this ship,” I said. “They’re getting shares, too. Way I figure, it’s about time they get rewarded for being the saviors of the realm.”

“What have they really even done?” Gourd asked. “I thought you were Equestria’s big hero.”

“Well, they supposedly stopped Nightmare Moon,” I said with a shrug. “And they’re the Elements of Harmony or whatever, so I guess they’re important somehow. I dunno. Point is, this is enough money that six more shares won’t change much.”

“I’ll send a runner to pick up the crew that isn’t on the ship,” Gourd said. “If it’s that much gold, we’ll need some help moving it.”

“I’ll see about finding some of my guards to lend a hoof,” Watcher said.

“I’m gonna ride with you guys to Ponyville, then stop at Rarity’s place to see if she can modify some of my clothes,” I said. “Not much fits around this stupid fucking tail.”

“If it makes you feel better, it makes your butt look nicer,” Watcher said.

“So I’ve heard,” I sighed. “Let me know when we’re underway.” With that, I went back to my room, where Taya was once again wrapped up in my blanket and reading a spellbook.

“So how was your talk, mommy?” she happily asked when she saw me enter.

“You know what we haven’t done in a while?” I asked. Her head tilted. “Exercises.” Her ears dropped flat against her head. “Let’s head to the deck, shall we?”

“B-but… it’s cold out there!”

“Good thing you have that magic that lets you warm both of us up. Let’s go.”

“But I don’t wanna!”

“Too bad. You’re gonna exercise or… or no more snuggles for a week!” She gasped in horror and immediately jumped out of the bed and galloped out the door.

I nodded and followed her to the deck, a grin on my face.

When we got to Miniature Horseville, Amber was nice enough to help me transport a good chunk of my clothes to Rarity’s house. As soon as we got to the ground, all the citizens of Ponyville stared at me in wonder. I don’t think any had seen me since I got my demon wing or dragon tail, so I looked pretty different.

I knocked on Rarity’s door with Amber standing pressed up against me, a smile on her face. Sweetie Belle answered a few moments later and grinned when she saw me. “Nav!” She hopped forward and hugged me. Since I’m trying to be less of a shitty person, I hugged her back despite the fact that all her white fur was going to get all over my black shirt.

“Howdy, Sweetie Belle,” I said.

“How long are you gonna be in town?” she asked when she let me go and stood back.

“In Ponyville, not too long this time. I’ll be in Canterlot for a while and I do plan on coming to Ponyville periodically, though.”

“Ooh, will you and Taya have time to hang out?”

“Yeah, probably. I don’t reckon Rarity’s in, is she? I need her help with something.”

“Yep! Come on in.” She led the way in and Amber and I followed. I pushed the door closed to keep the warm air in. “RARITY!” No reply. “Ugh. I’ll go find her.” She trotted off, further into the house.

“That filly’s got a set of lungs on her,” Amber quietly said when she was gone.

“Yep. Her special talent is singing, too.”

“Hm.” A light blush came over her face. “Rarity makes all kinds of clothes, right? Even… risque ones?”

“She sure does,” I said with a nod. “You have something in mind?”

“Well… I was thinking of asking her to make me something for… someone special. A gift. Do you think she would?”

“Yeah. You’d probably need to pay her, though. Do you want to commission it before we leave?”

“M-maybe…”

“Who’s the special someone?” I asked. “Anyone I know?”

Her entire face went scarlet and she started stammering. Before she could form any coherent statements, Rarity came trotting out. “Ah, Nav, you… you have a tail.”

“Yep. That’s why I’m here, actually. Do you think you could modify some of my clothes to fit around it? If not, no biggie. I can get it done in Canterlot. But most of my wardrobe came from you, so I figured you might want to modify it yourself.”

“Well, I’m somewhat behind on commissions… But I’m sure I can find the time.”

“Cool. Also, you’re about to get a portion of Reginald’s hoard.” Her mouth dropped. “Probably a decent-sized portion. Hopefully that’ll cover the costs.”

“How… how much are you talking about?”

“Well, there’s probably over a hundred thousand gold coins alone in there. That’s not counting gems and other things. I’m taking twenty-five thousand to cover the cost of the house I just bought. The rest is being split among everyone else on the ship. That’s… shit, around thirty-eight people or so. So probably a minimum of two thousand bits, still not counting gems.”

“...Amber, sweetie, would you please brace Navarone with magic?”

Amber did so without a word and Rarity leapt forward to hug me. I didn’t get flung to the ground, though I did almost get stabbed by her horn. I also had to listen to her insane giggling as she wrapped herself around me. Since she was super soft and squishy, I hugged her back and toyed with her curly hair.

Once she was done with her little moment, she finally released me. “I would be delighted to help fix your clothes, Nav. Do you have them all with you?” Amber’s horn lit up and they all appeared around us, mostly neatly folded. Thankfully, Rarity’s floor was clean. “Ugh, the floor?”

“Nav said it was okay,” Amber quickly replied.

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Of course she did. Well, no matter. Come along, Navi. I need to get you measured!”

I looked down at Amber. “Head back to the ship. I’ll fly back to Canterlot when I’m done here.”

She grinned. “The ship already left. I told Gourd not to wait for us.”

“...Oh.”

“So let’s get you measured!” Rarity happily said, grabbing one of my hands with magic. I sighed and let her drag me into her workroom, Amber in tow. We found Sweetie Belle waiting on us. “Come on, Nav. Off with the clothes.”

Amber’s tail began wagging as I started divesting myself of clothing. “How long do you think it’ll take to fix everything up?”

“I’m afraid I don’t really know,” Rarity said. “I’ll get a few outfits done as quickly as possible, then alternate between my commissions and your clothes. You can obviously wear some of your clothes, even if it’s not as many as you’d like. I imagine most of your dresses will have to be redone, of course.”

Not that I’m in a hurry for any of those… “As long as I have a few outfits, it doesn’t matter too much. Fleur’s talking about getting me several new nature-oriented outfits anyway. She thinks it’ll support my whole Lady of Nature image.”

I finally removed my panties and tossed them behind me, exactly where I knew Amber was standing. She squeaked as they landed on her head and took a deep breath before she could help herself. I didn’t look back because I was pretending that I had no idea what I just did, but I imagine she pulled them off of her face pretty quickly as Rarity moved in the measuring tapes. “That’s not a bad idea,” she said. “Might I also suggest tying some flowers in your hair?”

“Kat made me a flower crown,” I replied. “I left it on the ship. She’s gonna make a few more, as well.”

“Oh, you should have worn it,” Sweetie said. “I think it would have been adorable!”

“She’s right,” Rarity said. “Looking more approachable at all times will go a long way toward repairing your tarnished image. As much as I hate to say it, the… changes your body keeps going through are making you appear more fearsome. Your clothes should reflect who you truly are.”

“You mean a massive piece of shit?” I asked.

“I mean a noble, kind-hearted hero,” Rarity replied.

“And a beautiful warrior!” Amber added.

“And a good friend,” Sweetie squeaked.

“Those too, I guess,” I said with a shrug. “I’ll consider wearing it around more often, then. Even if it feels really weird.”

“Nav, you have a tail now,” Rarity said. “What about you isn’t weird?”

“My body and mind are both beyond fucked up right now,” I said. “Pretty much every single thing about me is weird at this point. I look in the mirror and I have no idea who’s looking back. Is it so much to ask that I have one normal thing?”

“You are looking back,” Rarity said. “You’ve changed a lot, but change isn’t always bad. You just need some time to reflect, to realize who you are now. I hear we’re going to be staying in place for a while. You should take some time to think, Nav. Maybe try some new things. Rediscover yourself, if that makes any sense.”

“I’m definitely gonna be doing some new things,” I sighed. “Fleur’s forcing me to participate in her stupid Miss Universe bullshit. I’m apparently Miss Human now.”

The measuring tape around my tail suddenly got very tight and I just barely stifled a moan. “You’re… You’re a part of… the Miss Universe pageant?!”

“...Yes?”

She squeed and hugged me again. “Oooh, I’m gonna make you so many pretty outfits for the runway! This is going to be perfect!”

“I’m uh… I’m gonna have to pass on that one, I’m afraid.”

“I’m afraid I can’t allow that,” Rarity said, pulling away again and booping me on the nose with magic. “I’m gonna make you the cutest human ever!”

I looked over at Amber. “Little help here, maybe?”

“You better believe I’m gonna help her,” she said with a grin. “I definitely wanna see you all dolled up!”

I looked down at Sweetie Belle. “Little help here, maybe?”

“I’m definitely gonna help her help Rarity!” she replied. “I wanna see you looking cute, too!”

I stared at her for a few seconds before turning and booking it to the door. One magical aura grabbed my demon wing, one grabbed my pegasus wing, and the last grabbed my tail. I tried clawing for the door handle, but I got dragged back before I could make it.

It was a surprisingly enjoyable experience. Definitely not an experience I wanted, but it wasn’t too terrible, all things told.

I left some time later. Amber stayed behind to place her order and ferry some of my clothes to the ship when it made its last trip to Ponyville. I made sure to leave her enough bits that she could get some food around town whenever she was ready.

I still had plenty of shit to do in Canterlot, so I flew back before any of my old friends in Ponyville could corner me and force me to hang out. It’s not that I didn’t want to spend time with any of them, it’s just that I currently had higher priorities.

My first stop was to the hotel Silver was staying at. I didn’t know if she was currently there or not, but it was the only place I knew she might be. Unfortunately, Smiles was chilling in the lobby with two older ponies, one male and one female. I tried to pretend I didn’t see him, but he made that impossible by cantering over to me. “Hey Nav. Looking for me?” The two older ponies followed at a more sedate pace, both wearing smiles.

“Nope. I’m looking for Silver Quill.”

“...Oh. Um. Oh yeah, these are my parents, by the way.” He waved a wing at the two approaching ponies, one male and one female. He also told me their names, which went in one of my ears and straight out the other. “They’ve been looking forward to meeting you for a while.”

“Our son has told us quite a lot about you,” his dad said.

“We’re happy that he’s finally getting a chance to see the world,” his mother said. Some part of me had a feeling that was a lie.

“I’ve been happy to have him on board,” I lied, tousling his hair and making him blush bright red. “He and Master Jak have done a lot to make our lives easier. I have no idea why he’d want to live on a ship when he could be staying here, though.”

“Because we’re doing something important, Nav,” Smiles replied as he smoothed his hair back out. “How could I stay here in luxury while you and the others are risking your lives to save everypony?” Well, Celestia seems to be managing it just fine.

“Not everypony has to be a hero,” his mother said. “Lady Navarone is very capable. I’m sure she can defeat any monster!”

“You know, now would be a good time to teach you how to run the family business,” his dad said with a grin. Smiles’s ears drooped down.

“We’re gonna be in town for a little while,” I said. “At least a month. Maybe a bit more. You’ll have plenty of time here.”

“W-well… I’m sure you’ll still need me, anyway,” he quickly said. “And I know Master Jak will!”

“I’m in the process of buying a house at the moment,” I said. “I’m hoping Jak can outfit one of the buildings with a smithy, so he can start doing more work there. I’m sure he’d be happy to give you plenty of time to help out your folks, though.”

“That sounds wonderful,” his mom said. “Which estate are you buying, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“It’s a place called Stormview.” Their eyebrows lifted. “My accountant is staying at your hotel and I was hoping I could talk to her and see if she had finished the paperwork yet.”

“Well, you have pretty good timing,” Smiles said, looking at the entrance. I turned my head and noticed a very bedraggled Silver Quill limping in. Her face was covered in lipstick kisses that trailed all down her neck and presumably continued elsewhere and her eyes had a very faraway look in them. Her mascara had run all down her face, too. She was a cute little mess.

“Good timing indeed. It was nice meeting you two.”

“You as well, my lady,” the dad said. Smiles thankfully took them back in hoof as I walked over to Silver, who still hadn’t noticed me. She was stumbling toward the elevator, barely dragging a bag full of papers behind her.

“You look like you had a hell of a night,” I said when I got close enough. She stopped in her tracks and looked up at me with wide, bloodshot eyes. “I guess your date went well?”

She squeaked and started galloping to the elevator, but immediately tripped and went down hard, showing off her belly and crotch, both of which were also covered in lipstick marks. It was very obvious what she had been up to.

“Man, Cutie didn’t waste any time with you, huh?” She curled up in a ball and started rocking back and forth. “There’s nothing wrong with having a fun date, Silver. Come on, let’s get you up to your room and cleaned up.”

“C-cleaned up?” she whimpered.

“Yeah. You’re covered in lipstick. It’s all over your face and lower body.” Her eyes went even wider and she looked down at her stomach, then started whimpering and squeaking even more. It was super adorable. “Come on, Silver. Up you go.” I grabbed one of her front hooves and gently tugged on it. “The longer you lie on the floor, the more ponies are going to notice you.”

She very slowly got to her feet, keeping her tail as low as possible. I led her to the elevator and she followed, pressed right up against my side and shivering. The guy at the elevator didn’t bother asking any questions and just took us to the second floor and let us off. Once we were out of everyone’s sight, Silver gave me a few inches, though she still let me lead the way to her room.

When we were safely ensconced in her room, she fell back onto the floor and curled up in a ball again. “Man, Cutie must have really done a number on you, if you can’t even walk without limping and falling down,” I said. “So when’s the next date?”

Her horror-filled eyes turned to me. “N-next date?” she whispered.

“Yeah. I assume you decided on a time already.” She replied with a whimper. “Eh, guess not. Well, you know where she lives now, presumably, so you can go back whenever you want. Oh, and she knows where we live now, so she can also come by whenever. Judging by the state of your underside, I imagine you two had quite a lot of fun last night.”

“That… that mare is… She’s crazy!”

“Yeah, I had a feeling. Let me tell you, the crazy ones are always fun in bed. Like I said, it looks like she straight up wrecked you.”

“I… I don’t… N-no second date!”

“...You sure? I mean, you two really were kinda adorable together. And no offense to you, but you’re… I dunno, really insecure in some ways. Having a more dominant partner might not be a bad thing. Especially one that constantly reassures you. I figured you’d be looking forward to some kind of romance when you had a little bit of time to settle down.”

“Not with a mare! Especially that mare!”

“Oh. Then why didn’t you just tell her no when she asked for a date?”

She blinked. “She… she didn’t tell me we were going on one…”

“Oh. Then why didn’t you just tell her you weren’t interested in a relationship when she tried kissing you?”

“Um…”

“Or for that matter, why didn’t you ask for my help when you saw me yesterday?”

“I…”

“Silver, you need to start standing up for yourself. You need some confidence.” I walked over and sat down in front of her so I could hold one of her front hooves. “You’re a wonderful mare and a really hard worker. You don’t deserve to get walked all over. Say the word ‘no’ to me.”

“N-n-no…?”

“Again. With confidence. Say it like you mean it.”

“N-no…”

“Louder.”

“No!”

“Say it like I’m Cutie Dream. Say it like I’m about to kiss you.”

Her eyes widened. “NO!”

“Say it like I’m about to start kissing your neck.”

“No means no!”

“Say it like I’m pressuring you, like I’m not leaving you alone. Say it like I’m about to make love to you.”

“NO!” Her horn lit up and forced me backwards as she hopped up. “Keep your dirty hooves off me!”

“Say it like you never wanna see me again!”

“Buck you and buck your stupid house! Buck your stupid paperwork! Get away from me, you garish ugly freak!”

“Silver, there’s nothing stopping you from standing up for yourself. There’s nothing stopping you from being strong. You went through something absolutely horrible, but you’re free now. You can be whoever and whatever you want. Please, for your sake, don’t be a doormat. Don’t let anyone force you into anything. Any of the unicorns on the ship would be happy to teach you to defend yourself if you ask. You don’t have to be anyone’s victim ever again.”

She slapped a hoof on the ground. “I’m gonna go give that mare a piece of my mind!” She started trotting to the door.

I cleared my throat. “You might wanna take a shower first.” Her ears shot straight down and she stopped in place. “You are absolutely covered in kisses. And your mascara ran pretty hard. Also, you smell like sex. My nose is pretty weak and even I can tell.”

“That… that might be a good idea…”

“It’ll also give you a chance to think of something to say. And don’t forget that sometimes, being strong means knowing when someone isn’t worth your time. Cutie seems like a complete idiot. Yelling at her probably won’t accomplish anything. Assuming the house is in my name now, you might be better off just putting her out of your mind.”

“M-maybe…”

“But I’m not gonna tell you how to live your life. You do you. Before you yell at her, though, the house is in my name, right?”

“Oh, of course. I could have finished the paperwork in an hour if she hadn’t been… all over me.” She shivered and hung her head. “I’m gonna go take a shower. A long shower…”

“Take your time,” I said as she limped to the bathroom. “I’m just gonna chill here, I guess.”

She didn’t reply and I hopped up and wandered over to the bed. It was a very nice one and it didn’t take me long to get comfortable. Since I had no idea how long Silver would take, I decided to jump into some dreams and have fun.

Without an elemental to wake me up, I had to check every now and then to see if she was out of the shower yet. It took her about an hour to feel comfortable stepping out, and she came back into the room with her hair and tail wrapped up in towels. All of the lipstick and mascara was gone. Now she just looked exhausted instead of bedraggled.

“I feel much better,” she sighed.

“You look a little better, too. I think you could use some sleep, though. If you want to stay here another night, you can. Or we can go on ahead to our new house and let you get some rest there.”

“I don’t… I don’t think I could sleep right now, my lady. And I definitely don’t want to be alone…”

“Understandable. So what’s left for getting the house done?”

“We need to go to the bank and sign a few forms and that’s it. I got the keys from… that mare before escaping. So once we’re done at the bank, that’s it.”

“Cool. You wanna head that way when your hair is dried?”

Her eyes flicked to my hair for a moment before moving back to my eyes. “I uh… I’ll be right back.” She went back into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. She came out a minute or two later with her hair up in a ponytail. “Let’s do it!” she said with a nervous smile.

“You look more confident already.”

“T-thank you, my lady.”

“You also look more adorable,” I said as I stood. “Shall we?” I asked her blushing face.

“Y-yep!” She floated her bag over and started trotting out, trying to hide her smile.

I followed her out with a smirk on my face.

For some stupid fucking reason, Smiles was still in the lobby. He grinned when he saw us step out of the elevator and he walked over. “Hey, Nav. What are you up to today?”

“Moving into my new house,” I said. “I’m looking forward to it.”

“Oh. Do you need any help?”

“Nah, I think we’ll be fine,” I said.

“O-oh… Well, do you mind if I tag along anyway? I’m feeling kinda cooped up.”

God dammit. “We don’t mind at all,” Silver quickly said with a big smile, stepping forward. “We could use a big, strong stallion like you around, I’m sure…”

“Silver, he’s gay,” I said.

Her smile disappeared. “Oh, horse apples!” she groaned, slapping a hoof against the floor.

“I… I can still come though, right?” he asked.

“Fuck it, whatever. Let’s go,” I said. He sighed in relief and we all finally got out of the hotel.

When we were half a block away, he asked, “So is there room in the house for me, too?”

“Why can’t you just live here?” I asked. “I’ve been in your room before. It’s nicer than anything you’d have in my house.”

“The real reason I joined the guard was to get away from my parents. Seeing the world and doing my part was just a bonus. They’re insufferable! And they hate that my special talent is something as base and lowly as blacksmithing!”

“There’s nothing base or lowly about that,” I said. “You maintain the tools that keep my ship flying. That’s worth a lot, Smiles, and don’t you ever think otherwise. You keep people alive.”

“Tch. Tell them that,” he said. “They think it’s beneath their only child. Since I’m all they got, they want me to take over the business. They’ve also been trying to set me up with mares ever since I introduced them to my first coltfriend. The reason they gave Silver a room for so cheap is because they thought she might be my special somepony.”

“Well I mean, there’s nothing wrong with pumping your load into a chick every now and then, on the off chance you ever do want kids. If nothing else, as a surrogate mom.”

“I’ve never sullied myself with a vagina and I never will,” he said with a proud nod. “I’m still looking for just the right partner, though. I really like predators, but almost none of them ever want to bottom. If we were gonna be in town for long enough and you didn’t need me for anything, I was considering going up to Gryphus next week.”

“Knock yourself out,” I said. “Make sure to tell us all about the juicy details.”

“I live to serve, my lady,” he said, taking a moment to bow.

“And you’re free to stay at my pad if you want,” I said. “But no complaining about the accommodations.”

“You won’t hear a peep from me,” he said.

“And if you’re gonna be living in my house, you might be doing some stuff for me,” I said. “It won’t all be fun and games or whatever.”

“I understand, Nav. Remember, you’re my boss now. I expect that if I live in your estate, I’ll have to work.”

“‘Kay. Then you get second pick on rooms on the second floor. Silver gets first.”

“Hey, why do I have to live on the second floor?” Silver asked. “You have plenty of rooms above that!”

“You can take that up with Taya, Watcher, Kat, Gourd, Doppel, the naga, Spike, and maybe Zecora,” I said.

“Worth a try,” she sighed.

“You’re doing good,” I said, patting her on the back. She shivered for some reason. Probably just the cold.

“How big is it?” Smiles asked. “I’ve never heard of Stormview.”

“Fairly large,” I said. “Four floors, including a cellar. The backyard’s pretty big and overlooks a cliff. It points at Cloudsdale so you get to see all the storms rolling in. It’s got two airship towers with a warehouse next to both. It’s also got a workshop and a gardener’s shed.”

“Huh. That’s gonna take… at least three maids, a head servant, and a groundskeeper, one of which should be a different race,” he said. “And… oh, about two on-duty squads at all times. You might want to hire some beefier muscle, for show. A minotaur would be flaunting your wealth, a naga would show you care about honor, and a dog shows that you care most about loyalty.”

“That’s very… specific of you,” I said.

“I learned some things from the hotel business and from being a guard. I’ve spent a lot of time around really affluential ponies. I’ve seen a lot of that life.”

“Probably more than most of the others on my ship,” I said. “None of Watcher’s crew spent much time as standard guards. Twilight was too anti-social. You might actually turn out to be useful for once.”

“Thanks. Um, I think.”

“You’re welcome.” We were finally coming up on the bank. Smiles apparently got his head full of chivalry, because he trotted forward to hold the door open for us, then followed us in. I had a feeling he really just wanted to watch my tail sway.

Silver Quill led the way up to one of the counters, above which was printed, ‘Property Management’. “I have some paperwork from Lady Navarone,” she said, using magic to pull the relevant pages out of her bag. “It’s for the purchase of Stormview Estate.”

“Oh, that property didn’t stay on the market long,” the mare behind the counter said as she took the paperwork. “Give me just a moment to look everything over…”

“So, Silver, I hope you don’t mind, but I might have another little task for you soon.”

“What’s that, my lady?” she asked.

“A great big dragon just gave me his entire hoard. I’m keeping twenty-five thousand to refund my house, then giving the rest to the crew. Can you help count it and divide it among everyone?”

“Um. How… how big is the hoard?”

“Fairly. The ship should be heading to the bank soon to deposit the first load. We can wait here and ride over to the house with them so they know where it is.”

“There’s no need to deposit it,” she said. “I know a spell that lets me count up huge sums of bits fairly easily. It’s a standard one for all accountants working with a lot of bits.”

“And you can value all the gems and other items?”

“Cut gems, yes. Other items, maybe. Um. Am… Am I also gonna get a share?”

“Of course, Silver. You’re part of the crew now, aren’t you?”

“I… guess I am.”

“Everything seems to be in order,” the chick behind the counter said. “We’ll need one signature and then you’ll get the deed, my lady.” She reached down and pulled up a very small stack of paper. “If you’d like me to go over all these forms, I can. If you’d like to just sign it, here’s the quill.” She pushed a quill and an inkwell across the table, then presented the stack to me. “Just sign on the front.”

“Silver, can I get an abbreviated version?”

“You agree to sign over twenty-three thousand bits to the realty company’s account.”

“I thought it was twenty-five.”

“...Cutie was very pleased last night. I ended up talking her down a little.”

“Then you’re getting an extra two thousand bit bonus,” I said tousling her hair and making her squeak in shock again. I signed the paperwork and placed the quill back in the inkwell.

The mare across the counter pulled the stack back, checked my signature, then signed under it. She set the pages aside and said, “Give me just a moment.” She walked back into a room behind her chair and rummaged around for a moment. After a few seconds, she pulled out a long tube and popped the cap off to reveal the deed. She walked over and upended the tube so the deed fell out. It was already signed by the realty company. “Just sign and date the deed on the last dotted line,” she said with a pleasant smile. I did so yet again. “If you would like to keep it here, you may do so. I can have it moved to your safe deposit box.”

“That’ll be fine,” I said. “I can’t imagine I’d need it.”

“Very well. I’ll have it moved there as soon as it dries. Thank you again for your patronage, Lady Navarone.”

“Thanks for keeping my money safe.” My little group wandered down to the waiting area and chilled on the couches. It was nice and warm inside and stupidly cold outside. I was hoping the ship wouldn’t take too long, because I really wanted to get back to my new home.

“So do you have any plans while we’re here, Nav?” Smiles asked once we were less uncomfortable.

“I have a few,” I said. “I’ll probably be going to talk to Princess Gilda in Gryphus soon about a favor she owes me, then I’ll be breaking into one of the most well-guarded facilities in the world. I’m going to be a part of the big Miss Universe pageant. Twilight and I might go to a few festivals. Kat and I are going to work on eradicating all of her old assassin associates so she’ll be safe. The leaders of the mage’s tower want to see me for some reason. I’m gonna try to spend some time with Cadance, too. With luck, it’ll be a fairly relaxing and fulfilling little mini-vacation.”

“...How is hunting assassins or breaking into vaults relaxing?” Silver asked.

“It’s the little things in life,” I said with a shrug. I had absolutely no idea what I was talking about, but it sounded good.

The entrance of Watcher and Gourd thankfully killed the conversation. I hopped up and walked over to greet them. “Hello again, my lady,” Watcher said with a nod.

“Howdy. We just got my house bought. Silver wants all the gold there, so she can count it herself.”

“Wish you coulda told me that before we teleported down,” Watcher said, tapping his horn. “But whatever. Let’s head back up.”

“As long as you can point us the right way,” Gourd said.

“Yep. Let’s go.” We walked back out and the three unicorns teleported up. Smiles and I had to fly up because we were the weak and powerless peasant class.

Silver was already pointing the way, so off we went. The entire deck was covered in gold coins. Two of the crew unicorns stood at both sides, using magic to make sure none fell off. Watcher walked over to me once we started moving. “We got maybe a quarter of it on this trip,” he said. “There’s a lot of gold down there.”

“Good. That’ll mean everyone gets a nice big bonus for this small vacation.”

“You’re the only noble I’ve ever known that would do this for her subjects,” he said.

“Okay.”

“All of us, myself most definitely included, are proud to work with you, Nav.”

I walked over and leaned back against one of the rails. “What do you think about Celestia?” I asked him.

“I… think that there is going to be a clash of titans soon,” he said. “I’m not quite sure what to think at the moment.”

“Reginald told you about Discord. Did he tell you what happened to the alicorns?”

“...Yes.”

“Celestia and Moonbeam both want to run.”

“I don’t think running would be a good idea.”

“Neither do I. Who would you support in a clash of titans, Watcher?”

He was silent for some time before his horn lit up. “I swore an oath to you, Navarone. I intend to keep it. Everyone on this ship is loyal to you.” The aura around his horn vanished.

“I hope you’re wrong,” I sighed. “I really hope it never comes to that.”

He shrugged, then looked ahead. “That’s Stormview, all right. Were you expecting company?” I looked ahead of us and saw that a fairly small jet black airship was parked at one of the towers.

“...No, I wasn’t. Do you recognize that ship?”

“No, I don’t.” Once we were parked at the other tower, I could see more features of the neighboring airship, including the all-changeling crew and Moonbeam, who flew over once we has finally stopped.

She landed in front of me with a grin. “Hello, Nav,” she said.

“Greetings, Moonie,” I replied. “How’d you know I got a new house?”

“News travels fast,” she said with a shrug. “I have a housewarming gift for you.”

“Cool. Wanna head inside and show it to me, then? I’d love to get out of this cold.”

“I’m afraid I can’t bring it inside. But if you’d follow me to the other ship, I can show you there.”

“Sure, I guess.” I looked over at Watcher and said, “Start unloading the gold. Leave Silver and Smiles once you’re done.”

“You got it, Nav,” he said with a nod, then trotted over to some of the crew members. Moonbeam and I flew over to her ship.

All five changelings were all lined up and saluted when we landed. One of them seemed somewhat familiar. I noticed that a single male pony was groveling on the ground behind them. “I present to you the Ambassador, Nav,” she said. “And its crew.”

“It’s definitely a nice looking ship,” I said. “Is this one you built for your personal use?”

“I’m afraid you misunderstood,” she said. “This is your ship now.”

“...Oh, wow. Um. Thank you, Moonbeam. I uh… wasn’t really expecting this.”

“I have one condition,” she said. “I want the Ambassador to travel as much as possible, flying your noble flag and using some of your pony crew. I want all the ponies to see ponies and changelings coexisting on the same ship. I want them to get more used to us. Will you do that for me?”

“Happily,” I said with a nod. “It might be a little small to use as a trading ship, but we could probably move some passengers in it.”

“It was built to be fast,” Chrysalis said. “You could move time-sensitive goods or passengers quickly.”

“I see that your food pony is off a leash.”

“Yes, he’s part of an experimental batch. Love poison doesn’t last as long for some prisoners as it does for others, so we’ve started to make do without it in some cases. After a few weeks of conditioning, they’re so addicted to our female’s opiates that they exude love constantly just to get another dose.”

That sounded really, really creepy. “You’re gonna have to explain that one to me,” I said.

“Oh, it’s fairly simple. The male ponies tend to try to resist, so we lock them in permanent chastity beforehoof to make them more pliable. After that, we repeatedly dose them with the opiates our females naturally secrete. After usually around two or so weeks, they’re so addicted that they do whatever we say and beg for more.”

“Um. How exactly do you dose them?” I asked.

“That is left up to the changeling who is dosing them,” she said with a shrug. Her eyes found one of the two female changelings on the crew, the one that wasn’t a drone. “How do you dose this one?”

“Anally, your highness. He had grown accustomed to it from his previous mistress and whines when he doesn’t receive it that way. The stupid animal leaks everywhere he goes. I wish we could just geld him once and for all.”

“Celestia doesn’t allow that, I’m afraid,” Moonbeam replied. “It would be nice if she did; breaking them would probably take half as long. If you pick up passengers, make sure to dress him properly.”

“Of course, your highness,” she said with a bow.

I was really weirded out by all of that, but I chose not to comment. “Just as long as he doesn’t try running off,” I said with a shrug. “One of you looks familiar.”

“You rescued me from Atlantis,” the one in question replied. “Queen Moonbeam picked me to captain your ship because of my experience.”

“Neat. If you guys want to come inside, you can meet your counterparts on the Second Chance. You’ll be able to help them with what they’re doing, too. I was just gifted a fairly large sum of gold and they’ve been moving it for me.”

“We’d be happy to help,” he replied with a bow. From the looks of things, he was the only intelligentsia. Two were drones and two were sentients, one male and one female of each.

The female drone fitted a collar around the male earth pony and chained him to the rail. When he was secured, all five of them took off, leaving me and Chrysalis.

“I sense that you do not approve of our methods,” she said.

“This guy is brainwashed into being a sex slave,” I said.

“Anything can sound bad when you spend all day twisting words around,” she replied. “This stallion was a career criminal who was sentenced to life in prison and he chose this fate instead of serving his time. It’s a life sentence for him regardless. At least he’s happy.” Sure enough, he was smiling. “He enjoys every minute of existence, constantly high on opiates. He’s well-fed and sexually satisfied. Some might find that life enviable.”

“Not me. I think it’s fucking horrifying.”

“Then it’s a good thing you haven’t been entrusted to our care,” she said. “Since love poison doesn’t work on you, we’d have to break you like this.”

I shivered. “I’d sooner die.”

“The dead are of no use to the hive,” she said. “Unruly prisoners who try to fight back get… special treatment from yours truly. They never last long after that.” She walked over and caressed the grinning pony. “Thankfully, this one was a good little pet and learned to obey quickly. Most stallions do. He is trained to please both males and females, if you would care to make use of his services.”

“No thank you.” Smiles might be interested, though. “I’m surprised to see you giving this ship to me. I figured you’d get more use out of it yourself.”

“Your name carries a lot of weight in pony society,” she said. “Those who wouldn’t normally trust changelings might think twice when they realize the changelings fly under your flag. I know with as much as you travel, they might see a lot of the world. They might also learn how to trade properly and can help you make money.”

“I’ll definitely do my best to get it out and about in the world,” I said. “I really don’t need more sources of income, but I’m not gonna say no to a gift.”

“Excellent. I will try to stop by again before I leave Canterlot to see your house. Unfortunately, I need to go meet with Celestia for now.”

I leaned in and hugged her. “I’ll see you later, Moonie.”

She hugged me back. “Of course… Navi. And I’ll be blue-beaning you two times now.” Before I could complain, she teleported away. I looked over at the food pony, who was staring up at me in curiosity. He didn’t seem to have any insight for me, so I flew down to the opposite warehouse. A good portion of the gold had already been moved and Gourd was talking to the changeling captain.

I walked over to Smiles, who was busy being a lazy sack of shit. “Do you know where Fleur’s new house is?” I asked.

“What’s the address?” I rattled it off and he nodded. “I know where that is.”

“Can you fly over there and find Kat and let her know that we just moved in? I want her to inspect the place as soon as possible for any weak points.”

“You don’t have to ask, my lady. You can just tell me to.”

“Yeah, but… I’m not gonna do that.”

He shrugged. “Saying ‘as you ask’ doesn’t sound as good as ‘as you command’.”

“Can you learn to live with it?”

“Anything for you, my lady,” he replied with an overly theatrical bow. When he looked back up, he got to see me flipping him double birds. He smirked and continued, “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He trotted out the garage door and took off.

“How sure are you that he’s gay?” Silver asked from right next to me. I didn’t even notice her walking up, so I jumped a little.

“One hundred percent,” I said. “Dude’s more queer than a three dollar bill.”

“A… what?” she asked.

“Never mind. He’s definitely only into stallions.” She sighed and hung her head. “None of the crew members are gay, though. And I think he’s the only one of the male guards that’s actually gay instead of just bi.”

“The crew members are all unicorns,” she said. “I prefer pegasi and earth ponies. Especially the bat ponies. They look so… exotic.”

“Yeah, they’re super adorable,” I said. “How long do you think it’ll take you to count all of this up?”

“This shipment will probably take half an hour for the gold and jewels. Not so sure about everything else yet. Appraising jewelry is beyond me.”

“...Can you handle getting it done?”

“Yes,” she said with a nod. “But I want a guard squad with me at all times while I’m working on this.”

“Understandable. I’ll talk to Watcher and see what we can do.”

“Oooh, see if you can get Grey Boulder’s squad,” she said with a smirk.

“No promises. That said, I’m liking the new you. You sure did go about it quickly, though.”

“...Being a doormat sucks,” she said. “Literally, if last night taught me anything. So I’m finally gonna learn how to be confident! It might be hard, but with you to show me the way, I know I can do it.”

“So that is why you put your hair up.”

She blushed and lifted a hoof up to gently tug on it. “It… always seemed like a confident, can-do hairstyle to me… Which is why I never tried it until now.”

“Just remember that I’m not the only confident chick here,” I said. “Doppel’s confident about her body, Twilight’s confident about her magic, Rarity and Applejack are confident about everything, Sentinel is confident about her military skills, and I could probably keep listing them but I’m not gonna. I’m definitely okay with you learning from me, but there’s a lot you can learn from everyone here.”

“I’m gonna do my best,” she said with a nod. “But you’re my lady, so whatever I can learn from you will be the most valuable.”

I guess that’s technically why they made me a noble. “Neat. Let’s go talk to Watcher. You can tell him about your preference.” Her face lit up bright red, but she followed me over anyway. Watcher was helping lower another pallet of treasure from the ship. “I don’t reckon you have any guards you could leave here, do you?” I asked.

“Yes ma’am, I do,” he said. “They’re currently on the ship, but they’ll move down here when we’re done. Gloomy’s squad is the only one I could round up on such short notice.”

Oh fun, the creepy squad. “Cool. Silver was worried about being all alone with this fortune.”

“No such luck,” he said. “They all three know they’re getting a pretty hefty share, so you won’t need to worry about them being lax. Spike took it upon himself to guard the cave.”

“How generous of him,” I sarcastically replied.

“It’s killing him to let you take it all,” Watcher said.

“He’s gonna get his share. It’s just not gonna be half. He’d be a lot less useful if he was completely huge.”

“True. So Chrysalis gave you a new ship?”

“Yep. It’s called the Ambassador. It has a food pony on board. That’s not gonna be a problem for any of your people, is it?”

“Nope. We’re happy to see those bastards doing some good. A good chunk of them were ponies we put there, usually ponies who tried to rebel against the princess. She was delighted you came up with the solution, because it allowed her to get rid of political prisoners, no questions asked.”

“...Wait, what?” I slowly asked.

“There aren’t too many ways to get a life sentence in Equestria,” he said. “And the princess doesn’t like trying ponies for treason because it makes her look weak. You were the first time she ever did it, in fact. So when she wants to get rid of somepony without a fuss, she’d just have a squad like mine… take care of them. The changelings give her another option for disposing of them and still letting them be useful to Equestria.”

“I see.”

“I take it you didn’t know that.”

I took a moment to formulate my response before sighing and going with my first thought. “That’s the most evil thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”

“Yeah, I guess it does sound kinda bad when you think about it.” He shrugged. “I did a whole lot of not thinking while in the guard. Some of the guards who did more than their fair share of thinking... found themselves being guarded.”

“...Do the people who become changeling food really have a choice in the matter?” I asked.

“Oh, of course,” he said. “Princess Celestia gives them a very generous offer. They can either repay their debt to Equestria by becoming changeling food or they can stop wasting resources and become dead. The last I heard, all of them decided being food wasn’t too bad, all things told.”

God dammit, I can’t believe I came up with this awful plan. “Celestia reminds me of Stalin more and more every day,” I said.

“...Am I supposed to know who that is?” he asked.

“No. On your way back from Reginald’s cave the next time, stop by Ponyville and pick up Doppel and some of my clothes from Rarity’s place.”

“You got it, Nav. I think this was the last load, so I’m heading back up. Are you gonna be here?”

“Probably, yeah,” I said. “I’m gonna do some more in-depth exploring.”

“Taya’s already wandering around the house somewhere,” he said. “She came down with the first wave.”

“Then I’ll find her and tickle her,” I said with a nod. “See you when you get back, Watcher.”

“My lady,” he said with a short bow. Instead of straightening, his horn lit up and he teleported out. I look around the room and found that everyone was gone but me and Silver.

“It just had to be her squad,” she sighed, hanging her head. “Oh well. Phantom is cute, even if he’s… different.”

“You have fun with that,” I said, walking to the door. The guards were walking over from the tower and saluted as I passed. I idly saluted back and continued past them without saying a word.

The great estate was eerily silent. I took a moment to enjoy it, because I knew that soon, it would be bustling with the sounds of my very strange life. Soon, I wouldn’t be able to even leave my room without being bothered for some stupid bullshit. I already had plans to get a magical deadbolt for my bedroom door, if it didn’t already have one. More than anything, I needed some time in solitude, to both think and to just do… nothing. Living on the ship never really allowed for that. Now that everyone else had a plethora of things to do, I was hoping fewer people would have any reasons to bother me.

Somehow I had a feeling I wouldn’t get the time I needed.

As I reflected on the silence, I noticed that I had another guest. I looked back at the approaching sound and realized it was the male unicorn of the squad, a guy named Silence. He was a pure black unicorn with dark brown eyes. I had never once heard him make a peep.

“You need something?” I asked. He shook his head. “...You here to guard me?” He nodded. “Well, let’s go.” Even his hooffalls sounded muted as we slowly walked around the bottom floor of the house. “Are you silent because of a vow?” He shook his head. “Are you unable to speak?” He shook his head. “Are you silent because you have nothing to say?” He nodded. “I can respect that.” He made no reply and I stopped bugging him.

Getting to the big breakfast room with the window facing the cliffside made me remember that we were in for a snow storm shortly. The ship would need to hurry if they didn’t want to have to deal with breaking it up or flying over it. It also probably meant that I’d see how good the insulation in the house was. It was already pretty warm and I found myself wishing I had a lighter set of clothes to wear.

When I got done with looking around the lowest level, I went up to the top to see if I could find Taya. Sure enough, she was trying out the bed in one of the rooms up there. “So what do you think?” I asked.

“I think I like it here,” she said with a nod. “And I think this is gonna be my room.”

“Tch, you already talk to Watcher about that one?” I asked. “He might wanna fight you for it.”

“He already claimed his room,” she said. “It’s the first one on the second floor.”

“What? The way he was talking? Come on.”

“He said he didn’t want to have to walk up four flights of stairs when he gets home after a long day,” she said. “And after being a soldier for so long, he wouldn’t even know what to do with all the space.”

“Well, he can suit himself,” I said with a shrug. “I’m taking the master bedroom. Stairs don’t bother me that much.”

“I just teleported,” she said. “So now what?”

“Now you go get us something to eat,” I said, pulling my bag of bits off. “Take Silence with you.”

“I don’t need a guard, mommy.”

“I know. Make him carry stuff. Get enough for five ponies and me.”

“Oh. Okay. Why aren’t you going?”

“If I wanted to do my own chores, I wouldn’t have adopted children,” I said, tossing the bag of coins at her. “I’ll be here when you get back.”

“Well geez. I love you too, mommy.”

“You still haven’t left yet? Chop chop, mommy’s starving.”

She rolled her eyes and slid off the bed so she could start trotting away. Silence thankfully followed her, leaving a comfortable void. I wasn’t all that hungry, but I did really want to get rid of him so I could take a bath in peace.

I went back to my room and then to the bathroom. The bathtub was massive and I had been looking forward to trying it out ever since I saw it. There wasn’t any soap or anything, but I was okay with that. Since most tubs were fairly standard in Equestria, I quickly had it filling up with piping hot water. As it did so, I stripped down and started fiddling with the other options, things like water jets and bubbles.

By the time the tub was mostly full, I had it about figured out. I turned off the water and slowly slid in, gasping as the heat worked its way into my chilly body. Once my body was fully submerged, I undid my hair and let it float freely around me.

When I felt relaxed enough, I scooted over to one of the water jets and turned it on, then let myself get a feeling for the pressure. Once I had a good idea that it wouldn’t hurt me, I slid over in front of it and sighed as it began massaging me.

It didn’t take very long for my filthy mind to come up with a delightful idea. As soon as I did, I spun around, put my hands on the edge of the tub, and lifted myself slightly. A moan immediately escaped my lips and I decided that I had a new favorite toy.

Since Taya had no idea where she was or what to even look for, it took her about an hour to get back. That was plenty of time for me to have very thoroughly enjoyed myself. Thankfully, I had finished all the lewd acts before she got back and showed up in front of my tub. It wasn’t until I looked up and saw her standing there that I realized I hadn’t closed any of the doors behind me.

“How is it?” she asked.

“Nice,” I sighed, sinking a little lower. “Very, very nice…”

“Your skin’s gonna get all pruney and gross,” she said.

“It’ll be well worth it. Did you get something scrumptious?”

“Well… we got something edible. I haven’t actually tried any yet.”

“Then let’s fix that,” I said as I stood. Water immediately started cascading down my body and I looked around the room. “Um. You didn’t happen to see a towel on the way in, did you?”

She smirked and her horn lit up. Her magic lifted me out of the tub and made water pour down my body until I was dry, then set me down next to my clothes.

“That works. Thank you.” I decided not to bother getting dressed and walked out into the room, where I immediately found Silence. “So I see you’re up here, too.” He nodded, though his eyes didn’t meet my own.

“He decided to join us in eating up here,” Taya said with a grin when she followed me out.

Fuck it, they don’t wear clothes anyway. “He’s free to,” I said, walking over to my desk. That’s where the food was, so I sat and pulled something out. Both of them joined me and we finally got some food in us.

“What time do you think it is?” Taya asked.

“Probably around four-ish,” I said. “I kinda feel like Kat should have gotten here by now.”

“Oh, she has,” Taya said. “I asked Smiles to go get Twilight, too. Kat’s currently looking the place over. She said she came up here to talk to you earlier, but that you were… Um, busy.”

Apparently I’m not very observant while writhing in pleasure. “Then I guess I should get dressed and go see if she’s found anything.”

“I’ll go back to exploring my room,” she replied with a smile. Silence remained when Taya left and he went back to staring at my chest. When I stood and walked back to the bathroom, I imagine his eyes transferred to my ass. I decided to be nice and give him a show by bending over in the doorway to pick up my clothes and putting on my shirt first to let him watch for longer.

Once I was fully dressed, I turned around with a grin. “Shall we?” I asked his lightly blushed face. He didn’t reply, but he did follow me when I walked out.

We found Kat and Spider on the second floor, poking around one of the rooms. “This house is solidly built,” she said. “And as far as I can tell, there aren’t any hidden areas. Well, so far.”

“Think we could make any?” I asked.

“Oh, absolutely. I could put little hidey-holes all over this place. Seems kinda pointless, though. I thought the whole reason for getting a house was to seem more legitimate.”

“Yeah, it is. But you never know when a bolthole might be useful. It’s not a priority at the moment, though, so whatever. I’m kinda surprised Fleur didn’t join you.”

“She won’t be able to come by until either late tonight or tomorrow,” Kat replied. “After keeping you up so late last night, she decided tomorrow would be better for you.”

“Cool. If you haven’t already done so, you might want to claim a room. They’re probably gonna go fast.”

“Spider had a question to ask about that, actually,” she said, looking down to her horrifying little companion.

The kid looked at me. It seemed like he was nervous, but I don’t really know if I want to say something like him could be nervous. “I would… I would like the tree, high mistress.”

“You’re gonna have to explain that one,” I said.

“I would like to live in it,” he said. “I would like to make it my… my room.”

I looked over at Kat. “I told him he couldn’t put much webbing up in any of the rooms. He asked where he could put webbing up and I told him you might not mind the tree.”

“...Don’t kill it,” I said. “I like weeping willows. But otherwise, sure. Just know that it’s probably gonna be really cold for a while.”

He beamed and actually rushed forward and hugged me. I just barely stopped from flinching and instead awkwardly patted him on the back. My skin was crawling from the feeling of his many legs around me. Why oh why did it have to be a giant spider?

“I’m gonna go get started right away!” With that proclamation, he thankfully scurried away and I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding.

“He’s just a child, Nav,” Kat said.

“We’ve been over this. Leave it.” I’m happy to say that she did so. “The ship should be back pretty soon. You can get whatever you need from it when it does. I’ll definitely bring down some of my stuff.”

“I’ll go claim a room now, then,” she said. “I’ll talk to you later, Nav.” She wandered off, presumably to head upstairs. With her gone, I went to the dining hall on that floor to take a look at the backyard. Spider was already on his way to the tree. It looked like he might have been running, presumably in joy. I looked away when he got to the tree and shot the first web at it.

“He’s just like my little brother,” Silence said. I looked at him in shock. His eyes were fixed on Spider. “Just like him…”

“So you do speak!”

He looked back at me with a blank expression and said, “Nopony will ever believe you.”

“...You sick son of a bitch.” His face remained passive and I took a moment to wonder if I was going crazy or if he had actually just spoken.

After another moment, I realized one didn’t rule out the other and stopped worrying about it. Instead, I looked back out the window at the airships that were approaching. They were both visibly weighed down by gold and coming in fast. We went back down to the first floor and over to the warehouse that the Second Chance was gonna use. Watcher and Gourd teleported down shortly after I got there.

“This is gonna be the last batch for today,” Gourd said. “That storm is coming in quickly and I don’t want to move anything around in it.”

“Makes sense,” I said. “Once you get all that stuff unloaded, get everything else you need off the ship and get your people inside.”

“Doppel’s gonna help move some of your stuff in,” Watcher said. “She’s looking forward to helping get the house in working order.”

“At least that makes one of us,” I said. “I’m gonna head up there and help her. I got more shit to move than I’d like.”

“And we’ll get started on the gold, then help the changelings with theirs,” Gourd said. Silence thankfully stayed his creepy ass there to help them while I flew up to the ship.

Doppel was already walking out the deck with a few bags stuffed full of clothes. When she saw me, she grinned, flew over, and hugged me. “Good to see you, mistress!” she said.

“Good to see you, too,” I said as I hugged my sexy maid back. “I hope you don’t mind, but I have a lot of work lined up for you.”

“I’m happy to help!” she replied. “I’ve just been waiting for a chance to strut my stuff for everyone!”

“I’m happy to hear it. Now let’s get unloaded so you can get started.”

“You got it, mistress,” she said, letting the hug drop. “I’ll see you in just a moment!” She took back off, carrying the bags down to the house. She didn’t know where they were going yet, so I imagined she was just going to drop them off in the foyer. I went down to my room on the ship and started picking through what she missed. I grabbed the first load of bullshit and passed her on the way down.

We traded positions a few times until all my shit was down, then I helped her move her own stuff. Then I helped Taya and Kat move their stuff. Once they were all done, I decided to pull my lordly rank and went back down to the living room, where I relaxed on one of the very nice couches.

Doppel and Kat joined me there a few minutes later. “So what’s the plan?” Doppel asked.

“Today, we get everything off the ship,” I said. “Tomorrow, we begin looking for everything we need to turn this house into a home. After that, we find two to four more employees. You can be in charge of them, Doppel.”

She blinked. “M-me? In charge of… ponies?”

“You’re my longest serving employee,” I said. “You know exactly what I want. Of course I’m making you my head of household. Just don’t abuse your power and everything should be fine.”

She seemed somewhat taken aback before resolve filled her face. “I won’t let you down!”

“Good. You and Silver might be in charge of hiring people, too. I’ll be happy to sit in on any interviews if I’m available, but if not, you two will take charge.”

“Oh, wow…”

“I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t think you could do it,” I said. “You’ll do fine.”

“What about me?” Kat asked.

“You’re gonna be my hidden bodyguard,” I said. “When you’re not doing pageant stuff or other work for me. I’m gonna be a lot more vulnerable without my ring.”

“You’ll be safe with me,” she said with a nod.

“I know,” I said. “Now, it’s late and I had a long night. I’m gonna go ahead and retire to my room. I’m still expecting Twilight to come by, so I’m not going to bed just yet, but unless it’s important or Twilight, don’t bother me.”

“As you command,” Doppel said with a bow. I hopped up, patted her on the back, then went back to the foyer to head upstairs. Thankfully, someone had already moved all my stuff up to my room.

When I got up there, I took a look around at all the stuff just lying everywhere. That seemed like a job for future me, so I walked over to the desk and pulled out my laptop. I knew that would be something present me would enjoy.

I dicked around on it for a few minutes before a cleared throat caught my ears. I looked up from my laptop and realized Twilight was standing there. I turned off the music and closed the computer. “Howdy.”

“This is a really nice house, Nav,” she said with a grin.

“I know, right? I think Celestia would be jealous if you moved from the palace to here.”

She sighed and looked away. “I… think it’s best that I stay close to her for now. She’s growing increasingly distant. I need to stay close to try to rebuild our relationship. Despite everything… I still need her.”

“I’m not so sure about that, Twilight,” I quietly said. I steepled my hands in front of me and continued, “You’ve changed. Before, you took everything Celestia told you at face value. Now… You’ve become much more self-reliant. You question things. You’re always seeking the truth, now that you know how little you know. You and I have both noticed how much Celestia likes telling the truth. That mare is a compulsive liar, Twilight.” She flinched. “Think about it. She lied to Spike about who he was to keep power over him. She lied to the ponies about moving the sun to make them reliant upon her. She lied to the world about the nature of magic to keep it to herself. She lied about history so no one would question her rule. It took me a long time to realize why that woman is so feared, Twilight. She’s the most pleasant evil person in existence. Do you want to know what she told me one day, Twilight?”

“N-no…”

“To my face, word for word, ‘Just because I founded this country doesn’t mean I have to be a paragon of its values.’ She doesn’t care about anything but power. She wants to be in a relationship with me to control me, according to what Cadance told me. Why do you think she lied to you about true magic, Twilight? Do you think she was trying to keep you from reaching your potential? If there’s one thing we can learn from how Celestia treats her own sister, it’s that she fears any power she doesn’t directly control.”

She was silent for several very long seconds, looking very conflicted. “What are you saying, Nav?”

“I’m saying that you might be better off finding your own answers. Celestia will train you at her pace. You can train yourself at your own pace. We don’t have time to wait for Celestia to be ready. Discord fought against true magic for a reason, Twilight. He could act at any moment. We know spells do nothing to him. That leaves magic.”

“I… I don’t know if I can do it, Nav.”

“It all works on belief, Twilight. And I believe in you. Of course you can do this. You’re the Element of Magic, not the Element of Spells. You have the resources to find all the answers you need now without Celestia’s help. Between Athena, Watcher, and the library at the Crystal Empire, you can learn everything you need.”

She looked away and hung her head. “That’s… a big step, Nav.”

“You’re an adult, Twilight. You get to decide your fate. Do you want to be the princess’s student all your life? Or do you want to become Twilight Sparkle, Element of Real Magic?”

“It’s not that simple, Nav! She’s… she’s the princess!”

“Celestia is a mare, Twilight. Never forget that. She is only a pony. There’s nothing divine about her. There is absolutely nothing that mare can do that someone else can’t. And you’re never going to reach your full potential if you rely on her to show you the way. I think we both know that. In fact, I think you’ve known it for a while. You’ve seen the writing on the walls. She wants to keep you weak.”

Her ears finally fell. “I’ll… talk to you later, Nav…” She hurried out of my room and left the door wide open. I sighed and leaned back in the chair, my mind racing. That talk could have gone better. Maybe it’s time I go see if the water elementals are back in town… Brook or Flo would be valuable right now.

That distraction led me to finally look up from the laptop and I noticed how dark it was getting. I got up from the desk and went to the badass bathroom. I wasn’t interested in taking half an hour to bathe again, so I just took a whore bath in front of the sink before drying off and walking, naked, to close and lock the door. As soon as the lock turned, the door picked up a slight sheen. That looks like magic, alright. Since that was done, I slid into bed.

The thing swallowed me whole and I found myself feeling very lonely for some reason. I got over that feeling, curled up in the blankets to protect me from the drafty room, and quickly fell asleep.

Some time later, something suddenly woke me up. I didn’t move at first, weariness deadening my senses. Then I felt something strange, like an air current against my chin. My eyes opened and I saw something blurry and bright. As my eyes slowly adjusted, I realized I was looking at Kat, mere centimeters from my face. Her glowing eyes were locked onto my own.

“Hello, Nav,” she whispered with a small grin.

Instead of trying to formulate a reply right away, my eyes peered down and I saw that her naked body was pressed against mine. One of her gloved paws was pushed against the top of my tail and the other was pressed against my feathery wing. I suddenly felt slightly uncomfortable.

“...Kat.”

“Yes, Nav?” she whispered. Her whiskers gently tickled my face and I tried pulling back, but she didn’t give an inch.

“Why are you in my bed? And… how are you in my bed? The doors are magically deadbolted.”

“This curse has given me a very… intricate understanding of all locks. With enough time, I can pick anything, even without using my awful curse. And I am here to ask your permission for something.”

Oh boy… “And what exactly are you asking permission for?”

Her paws pressed down harder on their respective spots. I felt a growing arousal and a warm wetness. “I would like to please you, Nav.”

“I’m… not so sure about that one, Kat.”

Her smile grew a lot deeper. “I would very much appreciate permission to please you, Nav.”

“Kat, I would like you to take your paws off of me.” Her smile disappeared and she slowly did so. “I want you to explain something to me.”

“Anything, my lady,” she dully replied.

“How is this appropriate behavior for a vassal?”

Her reflective eyes looked away. “The oath I swore to you was different, Navarone. You did not ask its meaning. I suppose it was my mistake to assume you knew.” Her eyes looked back to mine. “To the ponies, in public, I am your vassal. To us, to me, I am your blood servant. I tried to educate you on our culture when we were in Egypt, but I guess I missed this. I, and all of my descendents, will serve you. Unless a blood-servant is ordered away, they are always with their mistress. It is my job to serve you in all ways. I finally realized you didn’t know when you didn’t invite me to your room tonight. So I decided to come and offer my services.”

I stared at her in silence for what had to be about thirty seconds. Gears started finally turning in my head and I slowly asked, “Is this sorta thing, like, common around here? Is it, I dunno, accepted? Because to me, this is super creepy.”

She sweetly smiled and lifted a paw to my cheek. The other pressed itself against my lower stomach. “Fleur told me it doesn’t happen among ponies, but that they all respect it in other cultures. They would be delighted to always see us together.”

“...And they’d be delighted to find that I’m taking advantage of you in bed?”

She flinched back and what looked like tears appeared in her eyes. “I don’t do this as a show to them, Nav! I do this for you. I do this because you are alone tonight. I do this to comfort my mistress! I do this to make your life better. Can you accept that, or do you still distrust me too much?!”

“Kat…”

She sighed and pulled her hands back, then turned away. “Forgive me, my lady…” She started pushing away from me, but I reached out and hugged her back. She tensed up and actually started shaking.

“First of all, in the future, please explain everything about your culture to me. This is something you should have made one hundred percent clear from the fucking start.”

“Of… of course, my lady.”

“Second of all, call me Nav.” Her body relaxed. “This is really, really weird for me. Take that into consideration. Do not wake me up with your hands on my body and offer to fucking please me.”

“I apologize, Nav.”

“Alright. Third of all, what kind of relationship is this?”

“Whatever you would like it to be. I will be hands off or I will be a personal companion. I will come at your call or I will be with you always.”

“I bet I know which you would prefer.”

Her fur stood up straight and she shivered. “I have held back since I swore the oath because you were happy with Twilight Sparkle. But now you are here alone. Now, you are comfortless. I would be delighted to be allowed to comfort you.”

“...What would you do if I told you no?”

She stayed silent for about fifteen seconds before she sniffled and I realized she was crying. “I’m… I’m sorry for breaching decorum, my lady.”

I let her weakly struggle for a few seconds before sighing and kissing the back of her neck. She gasped and leaned away, but I didn’t let her get far. When she finally relaxed, I said, “I’m not telling you no, Kat. I’m telling you that I think it’s weird. But… If it means so much to you, I’ll try it. Give me time to get used to it, okay?”

“...Nav,” she whispered, her voice raspy from crying.

“...Kat?” I replied with another kiss.

“Would… would you like me to please you, Nav?”

So much for not making a mess on the bed on my first night. “I think I’d like that,” I slowly replied, though I had to choke the words out. Extremely uncomfortable would be a good way to describe me right then.

She spun around in my arms and pressed her face against mine, kissing me. Her tail wrapped around one of my legs as she wrapped her arms around me and pulled herself in. The kiss didn’t last long, but she was already breathless. “Lie back and relax, Nav,” she purred, rubbing her nose against mine.

“Be gentle, Kat,” I whispered as one of her paws moved to my breast.

She pressed her head next to mine to whisper next to my ear. “For you, anything.”

Some unknown amount of time later, Kat was curled up in my arms, purring and falling asleep. I found myself staring into space, sleep eluding me. Despite the fact that Kat came to me and practically begged me for the privilege of pleasing me, it still felt very much like I had just taken advantage of her.

Hopefully it would get easier to deal with over time. I guess some cultural differences are… harder to get over than others. Some part of me knew that worse was still yet to come, and that’s what kept me staring into the darkness for a lot longer than I would have liked.