Author's Notes:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1K_JDVOxfUWF8bqvY3z2ZtQiE457yqjj13LVGHYL-_wI/edit

Once I had taken a shower and finally gotten the taste of Twilight’s used panties out of my mouth, I went up to the deck to greet the bright new day. I found out very quickly that we were scheduled for a fucking morning blizzard, apparently. Being on deck was so cold that it was painful, so pretty much everyone that was staying on the ship was either still asleep or in the palace.

The dinner thing with all the predators wasn’t until pretty late that night, so I had nothing planned and nothing to do. It felt both good and weird.

I decided to take advantage of the free time the same way anyone would: By bothering the leader of more than half the world. It was still early enough that she would probably either be “raising the sun” or eating breakfast, so I headed over to her breakfast room. She wasn’t in there yet, so I decided to just get comfortable in her fancy seat.

She didn’t make me wait very long, thankfully. To her credit, she wasn’t surprised at all to see me. “Good morning, Nav,” she said. It sounded like she was trying to be polite, but I heard a… tightness behind her words that wasn’t usually there.

“Howdy. Would you like to join me for breakfast?”

“I would be delighted to.” Surprisingly, she let me keep the nice seat and took the spot I usually sat in. She looked at me expectantly. “Do you know when it’ll be served?”

“No clue. Good help is hard to find, these days.”

She smirked and her horn lit up. The little chime thingy went off and her paid slaves began bringing in food. They also didn’t seem that surprised to see me and brought enough food for the two of us. They even gave me the super nice plates that are usually reserved for Celestia.

Once they were gone, I smiled and said, “I hope that was quick enough for you.”

“It was, thank you. You’re such a gracious host, my lady.”

“I certainly do my best.”

I really wasn’t that hungry, but ate anyway. Palace food is fucking baller as shit and it always has a ton of flavors, even if a good chunk of them are some variation of sweet. While I was eating, I was reminded that I would probably have to make arrangements to have some kind of provisions for the trip to Iceland. I had no idea how often adult dragons needed to eat or how available food would be while we were there, but I knew Spike ate every day.

“So what did you discover about Iceland?” she finally asked.

“That it’s a fucking bitch to get into.”

“I suspected as much, but I was not certain. Do you have a plan? I could make an appeal to Pyrite, if you’d like.”

“I do have a plan, but I’m not sure it’s a good one. Twilight is going to turn me into a dragon.”

Her eyebrows lifted and she leaned back. “That’s… a very audacious plan. She might need my assistance to turn you. She’ll definitely need it to turn you back.”

“No to both, actually. She and Taya were barely able to turn me into one. She used the alicorn amulet to turn me back.”

“Oh, I see. So were you the dragon that landed near Canterlot two days ago?”

“Yeah. Being a dragon is fucking awesome, too.”

“Yes, I’d imagine so. Are you sure this isn’t too much of a risk, Nav?”

“No, I’m not. But I mean, do you really think Pyrite would let my ship in there?”

“I think it’s… possible. It depends entirely upon his mood. However, I think that if I do ask for permission and he says no, you’ll have a much more difficult time just going in as a dragon. So I would suggest following your plan. I doubt it will be dangerous, though I can’t help but wonder how much you can accomplish.”

“Hopefully everything I need to. I’m not really going to be in much of a hurry, though. I’m not looking forward to going to Tartarus.”

“Nor am I looking forward to sending you. That said, if you would be interested in assisting me while you are in Tartarus, I can give you a few tasks. Some of them would be very dangerous and none of them are extremely important, so I only ask that you complete them if it is convenient.”

“I’m always down for some side quests, but there’s no guarantee they’ll get done. Get me the list before we head that way and we can discuss it.”

“Excellent. I should add that each of those… side quests are self-rewarding. For example, one request is that you destroy the illegal red diamond mining operation. If you do so, you’ll be free to loot whatever you want while you’re there. Another request is that you break into the ancient vampony coven and steal all the books you can find. I’m looking for specific ones, but I don’t know their titles. You can keep whatever I don’t need.”

“Huh. I don’t suppose we could summon a demon or two and talk to them, could we? Like, I didn’t even know there was a vampire coven there. I wouldn’t mind learning more about the lay of the land.”

“Oh, absolutely,” she said with a nod. “I was going to summon Nestorats herself, if possible. She could make the journey much easier by waiting for you near Mount Oberon. If she chooses to be obstinate, I will likely summon a familiar, so you can ask it whatever questions you want.”

“Oooh, familiars. Can you summon a specific one?”

“If I knew his or her specific summoning sign, yes. There is a general summoning sign for familiars, but as lesser demons of Tartarus, they have their own summon sign. I could bring a specific one to Equestria if I knew it.”

“Oh. Then I guess there’s no way to bring forth the one I already know.”

“That depends on how well you know it. Demonic summoning signs resonate to those who are closely familiar with the demon in question. The closer you are to a demon and the more you know it, the faster you can recognize, find, and draw or erase their sign. The Inquisitor can draw the demon of hunting’s sign in less than a minute after what happened in Neighpon.”

I refused to ask. “Do you have a list of signs for known familiars?”

“I… might. Somewhere. I’ll look for it while you’re in Iceland, though I don’t know if it will matter. A familiar is a familiar.”

“And a friend is invaluable.” I wonder if Phinny will let me rub his belly… “Tartarus is going to be a very dangerous place. The one I spoke to mentioned that the alphyns allied themselves to a few other native races. I would like to speak to the one I know to see if he would give me permission to use any cities they might have.”

“That is… dangerous. They are still denizens of Tartarus, Nav. Whatever the familiar may have told you was very likely a lie. Alliances of convenience are very common with demons. Rarely do they end in true friendship. Often, one ally will turn on another as soon as it is safe. It would be very easy to betray you when you are in his home. Familiars collect slaves, and the crew you have would be prime targets.”

“I imagine if push comes to shove, we won’t have much of a choice in Tartarus. If it’s as bad as everyone says it is, we’ll need a staging area to fall back to and rest, or supply stops on the way. Especially if the gates are too small to get the ship in.”

“Be very wary of your safe harbors turning against you, Nav. If I am right and you come to them when you are weakened, you might very well regret it.”

“Well, then I guess we can cast a sense motive spell on the bastard when we summon him.”

That was supposed to be a joke, but Celestia’s head tilted and then she nodded. “That would likely work, yes. I know one powerful enough to work on a lesser demon. This trip will be dangerous for you. If you truly might have a safe harbor, I say it’s worth exploring.”

“Baller.”

“What does that word mean, Nav?”

“Easiest translation is ‘good’. Now, I don’t suppose you could help me with something?”

“It’s very… baller that you asked me, Nav.”

“Ugh, you’re like an old person. Now that word is just tainted.” That just made her smirk, of course. “Anyway, I was hoping I could get some advice.”

“Oh, I would love to give you advice, Nav. Please, tell me what’s on your mind.”

“Sorry, I didn’t finish. Can you teleport me to the Crystal Empire?”

Her smile seemed to crack a little. “I’m… sorry?”

“Yeah. I wanted to talk to Cadance, if I could.”

“I… I see. Are you sure I couldn’t assist you?”

I waved a hand. “I was gonna ask you later. But I’m pretty sure I already know what you’re gonna say.”

“Hm. I suppose I could assist you. But aren’t you going to leave tomorrow?”

“Yes. Can you also teleport me back when I’m done?”

She lifted a hoof to her chin. “I… could do both. But it will be very tiring. I want something in return.”

“Alright, what do you want?”

She lowered the hoof and nodded. “When you return, I want to ask you a question. I want an honest answer.”

“Yeah, sure. Can you bring me back around three?”

“Of course, Nav. Just don’t be wearing your ring. I’ll watch through your eyes until you are back at her teleportation chamber, then bring you home.”

“Cool beans, dawg.”

She sighed and rolled her eyes. “And what does that mean?”

“Good, my friend.”

“Ah. It is, indeed, cool beans, dog.” I groaned. She grinned. Just like that, her horn lit up and I disappeared with a flash.

Thankfully, she was nice enough to teleport the chair as well, so I didn’t immediately fall on my not-so-plush behind. The room I was in was made out of a shimmering blue crystal. A strange symbol was carved into the floor. My chair was sitting in the center of that symbol. As soon as I stood, the chair disappeared behind me, presumably sent back to Canterlot.

Cadance wasn’t expecting me, so I had no idea if she would be free or not. I was hoping she either wouldn’t be too busy or could pencil some time in for a friend. I just didn’t have enough time to send her a letter to see if she was available.

If nothing else, Shining Armor was probably bored out of his mind and could talk. Maybe I’d get to see Cadance tweak the settings on his buttplug.

My last time in the shitty crystal palace didn’t really give me much of a sense for the palace. I had wandered its halls a little, but I didn’t know the way around too much. As soon as I found a servant, I got directions to Cadance’s throne room. When I walked off, I couldn’t help but reflect on how much happier and less jumpy the servants were.

Cadance and Shiny did a lot of redecorating after they got the place, apparently. A lot of the old tapestries and paintings were gone, in most cases replaced by something from the treasury. Either ancient paintings confiscated by Sombra or artifacts that no one claimed, I imagined. It felt like some kind of oppressiveness in the air was gone, replaced by a pleasant calmness.

I’m sure getting rid of all the shitty dark magic traps helped with that.

There weren’t that many guards out and about, either. Canterlot had them stationed all over the castle and you’d occasionally run into patrols. I just passed the occasional crystal guard, mostly unarmored and entirely unarmed. They smiled and nodded at me as I passed.

There were two more in front of the doors of the throne room. Said doors were open and I could hear talking inside. Neither guard said a word as I let myself in and walked up the stairs leading to the dais. Once I got upstairs, another set of two guards were on both sides of me. Cadance was doing her best to look all queenly and shit while talking to a very excited changeling.

As soon as Cadance saw me, her face lit up and her smile became genuine. The changeling stopped talking and looked back. Her green eyes widened and a smile came to her face before her eyes turned straight pink. “NAVI!” Her wings started buzzing and she flew across the room to hug me.

My mind blanked for a moment before I remembered. “Eva!” That got me to hug her back, a smile also coming to my face. “I thought Cadance would have you out doing some work!”

“Nope! I’m like her personal maid now! It’s the best job ever!”

“That’s awesome. I’m glad you found a good place, Eva.”

She pulled away from me and her eyes seemed to retract. “N-Navi…?”

“What’s wrong, dear?”

Her horn lit up and I felt something carefully prod at my mind. Her horn dimmed and the smile returned harder than before. “You’re so happy! You’re so happy I can feel it!” She hugged me once more. “Your smile is really real…”

“A lot has happened, Eva. I lost who I was, in a way. It changed me. I really hope it’s for the better. It feels good right now, but I have no idea what tomorrow will bring.”

“It can’t ever be bad if you’re happy,” she sighed as she snuggled closer.

I patted her back and walked toward Cadance. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything, Cadance.”

“I’m always happy to see you, Nav,” she said. She hopped down from her throne and stretched. “Though I can’t help but wonder why you’re here. Is it just you, or is your crew with you?”

Eva gasped and looked back up at me. “Is Taya with you?!”

“I’m afraid it’s just me this time. I’m in Canterlot between adventures. I asked Celestia to send me here so I could talk to you, Cadance. I need advice.”

Her eyebrows shot straight up. “And you came to me? I’m… certainly flattered, but surely Celestia would have been better to talk to.”

“Not for this. Celestia is a princess before anything else. You are my friend.” Her smile seemed to grow a little more warm. “And a friend is what I need right now, not a princess.”

“Then I would absolutely be happy to give you advice, Nav. Perhaps I’ll be able to finally put my special talent to good use for you, hmm?”

“I’m afraid not. Or at least, not now. If I actually survive this journey, I’ll be in the market for a relationship. But until then, I’m not looking for anything serious.”

“That isn’t going to be an if, Nav. And I’ll hold you to that when you finally settle down,” she said with a nod. “Now let’s go somewhere more comfortable.” She started walking to the stairs. The two guards there stood up straighter. “Nav and I are going to a sitting room. You two will not be required.” They eased back down. I carried Eva behind Cadance until we got downstairs, then walked next to her as she led the way to a more comfortable sitting room. “How has your journey been, Nav?”

“It’s had its ups and downs. You know some of the highlights, I’m sure.”

“I don’t!” Eva happily said. I guess she got tired of being carried in my arms, so she miniaturized herself and floated to my shoulder. “You can tell me all about them!”

“Shiny told me you were doing well, last he saw,” Cadance said. “In fact, he seemed to think you were doing better than he had ever seen. Given what our adorable friend just said, I believe him.”

“I’m… trying a new me. Constantly being an asshole is useful, but it… isn’t fulfilling. Surrounding myself completely by people who care about me helps. My crew and my friends have taught me how to be a less shitty person.”

“It sounds like you’re learning the magic of friendship.”

“You shut your whore mouth, Cadance.”

For some reason, that made her laugh. “Some things always stay the same, I suppose,” she said, trying to stifle more giggles. “Are you enjoying being a noble?”

“Eh. Celestia made me one for propaganda reasons. I’m still trying to decide if I want to use the title for anything or if I just want to completely retire after everything’s said and done.”

“You’re still plenty welcome here, Nav,” she said, gently bumping into me.

“We can be roommates!” tiny Eva said.

“I know, and I’ve thought about that as well. The world is turning for the first time in a while. Right now, I’m waiting to see which side is facing up when it stops, if that makes any sense.”

“It does to me,” Cadance said. “When you cast Discord down, I feel that the world will change beyond all possible imagination.” She said when, not if. Does she really have that much confidence in me?

“It’ll start well before that,” I said. “Celestia is going to announce soon that she doesn’t move the sun. I imagine that’ll really get the ball rolling.”

“Yes… it… will,” Cadance very slowly replied, her hooves slowing to a crawl. “I… didn’t know she was going to tell everypony. When?”

“I don’t know the exact time, but she and Moonbeam have been working on a statement.”

“Who?”

“Queen Chrysalis now goes by Queen Moonbeam,” I said. “I talked her into giving up on her evil ways, or whatever. She’s trying to go back to being who she was, the loving midwife Moonbeam. She’s so adorably bad at being good, but she’s trying and that’s the important part.”

“Hm.” Cadance’s pace picked back up and she used magic to open a door we were coming to. “Please, after you.” I led the way inside. Two crystal couches covered in plush cushions stood across from each other. There was a table in the middle with a small bell on it. One of the walls was just a giant window that gave us a good view of the city. The other walls were bare.

Cadance pranced over to the couch facing the door and plopped into it, leaving me the one facing the city. I sat there and Eva became her regular size to place herself across my lap. “You’ve really turned this place around, Cadance.”

“None of it would have been possible without you, Nav. I will never be able to repay you for all that you’ve done. I know I don’t need to say it, but you mean the world to me. I’m happy to give you whatever advice I can. What’s troubling you?”

“You met Aqua, one of the water elementals. What did you think about her?”

She shrugged. “I didn’t speak to her for long. I had the feeling that she was hiding something. A lot of somethings, in fact.”

“And you know that I’ve had one living in me for a while.”

“I don’t know if you ever actually told me, but yes. I suspected there was… something going on. I lived with you for a while and you would have strange moments where you just seemed to withdraw into yourself. I thought it might be a human thing or maybe some manner of stress or emotional trauma.”

“The name of that water elemental is Flo. Eva actually got to meet her.”

“Yep! She helped Navi save me and the others!”

“Using her knowledge of human therapy and a mind link, she did,” I said with a nod. “Normally, elementals are very careful about the hosts they take. Flo didn’t have the choice to be picky. I was her only way to get free, the only option she had to possibly free her sisters. She made me a host, knowing the possible consequences it would have to both of us as two relatively incompatible minds became one.” My voice slowly petered out and my eyes lost their focus. One of my hands went on autopilot and began petting the changeling in my lap.

“I assume this didn’t end well,” Cadance finally said, bringing me back to reality.

“It had the desired effect,” I said. “All of the water elementals are free, including Flo. But I’ve changed her. And she’s changed me. Water elementals are supposed to be… Well, think of the kindest person you’ve ever met. Now make that person your mother and that’s how water elementals are supposed to be. Kind, loving, all about life and nature and shit. And then think about how I was when you first met me. Combine the two and what do you get?”

“A very interesting mix,” Cadance said. “So Flo changed you and you changed her. I assume that change was for the worse, in her case.”

“It… might have been.” I started going into more detail about some of what Flo had been doing, both the good and the bad. The overprotectiveness, the weird punishments, the times she hurt me, the times she loved me. I tried to come up with as many examples as I could.

When I finally ran out of things to say, Cadance sighed and stood. I thought she was going to hug me, but instead she walked around the couch to stare out across her kingdom. “I do not mean what I am about to say lightly, Nav. And I want you to know right now that I mean it one hundred percent.”

“‘Kay.”

She turned back to look at me. “You are the brother I have always needed.” That… stunned me. My hand stopped on Eva’s back and I leaned back, my wings sagging. I think she was expecting that kind of reaction, because she started walking closer. For once, the smile on her face was gone. “You saved my life at least four times. You have been my savior, my rock. But despite that, you’ve always lacked something. You laughed and you smiled, but there was always a hesitation. There was always darkness. There was always something in you that stopped you from being truly happy. I believe Flo helped find that missing piece of yourself. And in doing so, I believe she may have lost the same thing.” At that point, she was standing right in front of me.

“And yet…”

“She lost a part of herself to save you, Nav. I know you are wary of letting her back into your head, and that isn’t a bad thing. My advice for you is to be there for her as she was there for you. If she truly has changed for the worse, she will need help to change back. She doesn’t have to be in you to do so, but that doesn’t mean you can just turn your back on her. At the very least, think of all that you owe her. Think of all the times she helped you, even saved your life. From listening to you talk about her, I know you care about her. There might be another water elemental you could come to care about more, there might not be. Flo might belong in your head and she might not. But the two of you most definitely belong together, if nothing else. The bond you share with her will survive this if you let it.”

“But should I let it?” Eva flinched, but didn’t say anything.

“I’m afraid I can give you advice all day, but in the end, that is your choice to make, Nav. Love isn’t a feeling, it’s a choice. Sometimes, choices require sacrifices. You have done a lot for Flo. She has done a lot for you. Do you still want her in your life despite the bad she’s done? Do you want to give her a chance to change? To truly answer your question, were I in your shoes, I would have this talk with her. If she loves you as much as you love her, she will do what makes you happy, especially if it would make her happier as well. If she chooses not to accommodate you even after you tell her that you feel abused, then she no longer loves you. If she chooses to compromise and work with you, then it’s meant to be.”

I sighed and leaned back. “You and Celestia both said the same thing about love, that it’s a choice. If that’s the case, how do I know if I love someone?”

“It isn’t something you know, Nav. It’s something you choose. I know it’s hard to explain, especially to somebody who doesn’t really have much experience. Passion is a feeling. Lust is a feeling. Combine passion, lust, and love, and you have romance. That is what most ponies mean when they talk about love. But as I told you oh so long ago, there are many other ways one can find love. The two most important, or at least the most relevant, are the love of friends and the love of family. I have the feeling you might not have experienced much of either in your past life, which I find truly heartbreaking. But at the same time, I think it’s beautiful and absolutely amazing to watch you discover it now. I want you to be happy, Nav. I think Flo is like a mother to you. Like all mothers, she’s allowed to make mistakes. And like all sons, you’re allowed to forgive her. You don’t have to do so, but I believe you would be better for it. You can still choose to love her despite what she’s done. You just have to decide if you want to. I can’t make up your mind for you. I think you should, but it is your life and you will be the one who lives with the consequences of your decision.”

I laid back on the couch and cuddled the changeling. “Life as an unfeeling freak of nature was so much easier.”

Cadance giggled and brushed my face with one of her wings. “But unfulfilling, I imagine.”

“It had its ups and downs.”

“Nuh uh,” Eva said. “You were always so empty back then! That’s why Mirror tried talking to you at first instead of seducing you. She didn’t think you felt lust! You never felt anything at all. But as soon as I saw you earlier, I felt your happiness!”

“How did it taste?” I asked.

She pulled herself up and rubbed her nose against mine. Once she had done that, she eased back and held me again. “Amazing,” she sighed in delight.

“Glad to know my emotions are changeling approved. So what do you think I should do, Eva?”

“Flo saved me. I think you should hold on tight and never let go. And if you do give up on her, let me know so she can live with me!”

“What do the rest of you think?”

Her wings started twitching a lot and her voice changed, though not to one I recognized. “We all agree that you should keep her.”

“Um. Eva, who was that?”

“Oh, that was all of us,” she happily said. “We learned how to do that a few weeks ago.”

Weird as fuck. But then, I guess the entire concept is pretty strange. “Neat. You guys haven’t had any problems with other changelings, have you? I don’t think Chrysalis would kill you offhand anymore, but I imagine she would still want you back in the hives.”

“She visited here a few months ago,” Cadance said. She finally decided to move back to her couch. It was unfortunate, because she smelled really good and Eva had the normal changeling funk going on. “I introduced her to Eva. She was very curious, but didn’t make any attempt to do anything but ask questions. Needless to say, she was not surprised in the slightest that you were involved.”

Of course not. “I may have mentioned that you found a way to feed changelings with magic.”

“I’m aware. Unfortunately, it’s a skill I alone seem to have, some benefit of my special talent. She gave me an open invitation to visit her Alpha Hive, an invitation I honestly plan never to accept. She may have changed and she may have apologized, but I will never forget what she tried to do to me and Shining Armor.”

“The hives are beautiful. One day when this is all over, I’d like to take you to Alpha. The lives they’ve carved out for themselves are amazing.”

Her lips tightened slightly, but she shrugged. “I know I’ll be safe if I’m with you and Shining Armor, I suppose.”

“Speaking of, where is he? I figured you’d have him with you in the throne room.”

“He’s… tied up at the moment, I’m afraid. You can probably see him before you have to leave, though.”

“I don’t want to bother him if he’s busy. How have things been going here, anyway? Like I said before, you guys turned this whole place around. I know it had to take some doing.”

“Things have been going fairly well. Shiny took it upon himself to handle and placate the upper nobility and asked that I deal with the common ponies. It’s been working out for us. Every day is a new challenge, but I can’t imagine any of them would be interesting to you. I remember how bored and angry you were when you had to help us right after Sombra was vanquished. I think hearing about what you’ve been up to would be a lot more enjoyable.”

Eva shot up and sat on my stomach, a large grin on her face. “Tell us stories, Navi!”

“I can never say no to adorable changelings,” I said, reaching up to boop her. It made her giggle, of course. I snatched her in my arms again and sat back up. “I guess I might as well start with what happened after I left here the last time. The day after my ship left, Twilight and I got to read a very interesting book…”

I didn’t tell them everything, of course. There was so much to tell and they didn’t need to know a lot of it, like the specifics of what happened in the bunker. When I just mentioned it, Eva flinched and hugged me tighter. I guess she felt my emotions when I thought back to it.

As soon as I finished my semi-sordid tale, Eva hopped down from my lap, only to put her front hooves on my knees and look up at me with her pretty pink eyes. “Navi, can you do me a really really nice favor?”

“Probably. What do you need?”

“An autograph from my hero!”

“Oh, sure. Who’s your hero? I’m sure I can talk to him for you.”

“You, silly! I’ll be right back!” Her wings lifted and she took off. Her horn lit up and she used magic to open the door, then zoomed out of it.

“So why does Eva want my autograph?” I asked.

Cadance looked as confused as I felt, at least. “I don’t know. I mean, you are a hero, but I don’t know why she’d want an autograph. Maybe she can get some lingering love from an object you’ve held and used, or something. I don’t know if you realize how important you are to her, Nav.”

“I mean, I know I saved her life, and the lives of the others with her. And I guess I gave her a place to live and helped her find a pretty good place in the world. Things like that tend to stick in someone’s mind.”

“They absolutely do. Anyway, I didn’t get a chance to ask earlier, but how long do you think you’ll be here? I’m happy to spend time with you, but I’ll have to get back to being a princess at some point.”

“I know, and I’m grateful you could give me any time at all. I told Celestia I wanted to leave around three or so. It’s probably about elevenish now, if I had to guess. I’d be happy to tour the city for a few hours if you end up having to go back to work. I would like to see what you guys have done with the place.”

“I can spare Eva to show you around, though she occasionally gets lost herself. Apparently most changelings have very poor spatial awareness when they aren’t in the hives.”

“That makes sense. They use pheromone trails to get everywhere. Cities like this have either none or very few. As a side note, they also have no sense of smell.”

“I discovered that during a very important party, actually. She thought it would be fun to play with some other foals before and didn’t realize she had a very… distinctive odor.” That made me giggle. “I’ve taken steps since then to avoid issues with it.”

“I haven’t really run into that problem with Doppel, though my nose isn’t anywhere near as sensitive as yours.”

She shivered and her wings twitched. “Yes you have, trust me. Back when I lived with you, she smelled like sex almost all the time. It was torture, especially when I was in heat and Shiny wasn’t there. And when you and the naga started sparring and you didn’t take a shower immediately… Ugh, it was awful. And it was even worse when I started really thinking of you like a brother.”

“Which was definitely shocking.”

“Is it, really? You’ve saved my life several times, Nav. You’re a hero. You’re a good friend. You have so many good qualities, really and truly. A few bad ones as well, but they’re slowly getting smoothed over. In my mind, after so much you’ve done for me and all the times you’ve been there for me, I can really only compare that to family. I never had any siblings, but I think you’d be just like a loving brother.”

“Well… I told you before that you reminded me of my sister.” Her eyebrows shot up. She probably didn’t remember me saying that, because right after I said it, she got super drunk and tried to seduce me. “That’s still very, very true. Hell, that’s the real reason I came here today. I didn’t need a friend, I needed family.” She lifted a hoof to her mouth and her eyes watered up slightly. “That’s why I was shocked. I thought of you as a sister for so long, but I never once figured you’d think of me like a brother.”

She closed her eyes for a moment, then lowered the hoof. Her horn lit up and the table between us moved. With that out of the way, she leapt across the room to hug me. Her horn impaled the couch behind me, but neither of us noticed at the time.

Once we had our moment, she daintily walked back to her couch. Her makeup was now very runny, but I don’t think she regretted it. Her horn lit up and the table slid back into place. When that was done, she smiled again and relaxed. “You never told me much about your family, Nav. Most of what you did say sounded… sad. Can you tell me anything nice about them?”

“I only had one sibling, a twin sister named Jane.”

“A twin?”

“Yes indeed. I see her face whenever I look in the mirror, these days. It’s torture in one way, but… I guess it also makes me feel like she’s still with me.” To see what you lost every day when you step into the bathroom… “I suppose it’s amazing what you can find to fill the void.”

Before she could reply, and I very much think she wanted to, our changeling friend returned. Judging by the pink eyes, Eva was still in control, but her normal smile had been replaced by an uncharacteristically nervous look. She had a full clipboard and a pen flying next to her. “W-will you… sign this, Navi?” she asked, floating the clipboard over to me.

It landed in my hand and I began looking at it. I got to the first word before holding my other hand out. “Pen.” Her eyes went wide and the nervous look disappeared as she passed me the pen. I clicked it and put it on the dotted line, but then looked back down to her. “The others are okay with this, right?”

She immediately nodded, apparently not trusting her voice. That was all I needed, so I signed the adoption papers, officially making Eva my second daughter. I don’t know why she wanted that, but I was completely okay with it. As soon as I handed the signed paperwork back, she tossed it aside and leapt into my arms, crying.

I hugged her and started slowly stroking her back. Cadance caught the clipboard with magic and flew it over so she could read it. Her eyebrows immediately shot up. “My my.” She read more of it and got down to where she saw my signature. “It just needs one more thing.” Her horn lit up and some kind of stamp appeared. She pressed the stamp onto the page, then grabbed the pen from the floor and signed it. “And that makes it officially notarized. You are now… I guess mother and daughter? Well, parent and child, at the very least.”

“Eva, if you want to come back to the ship, you are welcome. Or you can stay here with Cadance. Either way, you will be my daughter. Either way, I will love you.”

“And either way, you will be a noble,” Cadance said. “As Nav’s legal daughter, you are now Lady Eva of the Everfree Forest.”

Eva flinched and looked back at her, tears still dripping from her eyes. “B-but if I’m a lady, I… I can’t be your maid!”

“Correct,” Cadance said with a nod. But she was still smiling, so I figured she had something in mind. “You cannot be my maid, but you can become my lady in waiting. The tasks are virtually the same, but now you can let Poly tell off those hussies that are mean to you because you’re a changeling. Since you are now ranked just as highly, they can’t demand you be punished.”

That renewed her tears and made her start sobbing into my chest. Her horn just barely missed my face and found itself lodged into the hole Cadance made. Welp, guess I have another magic using daughter. And this one can even change shapes. What a life. “Say, Eva…” She sniffled and stopped crying long enough to look up. “How about you show your mommy around the Crystal Kingdom?”

Her face lit up and she jumped off of me and into the air. “I’d love to! Oh, and I can introduce you to all my new friends! Where do you wanna start?!”

“Your room, I think,” Cadance said. “You can show Nav where you’re staying and maybe clean up a little before going out.”

“Not a bad idea. I gotta make sure my daughter is staying in a room good enough for her.” Eva started giggling. It seemed she really liked the thought of me being her parent. “Thanks for the advice, Cadance.”

“I am, and always will be, happy to help, Nav. If you do happen to have extra time here, would you like to see Shining Armor or Skyla? She’s starting to learn to say full sentences!”

“And I bet the first one outta her mouth when she saw me would be ‘I hate you’. I might see Shiny, if he ain’t too busy and I still got time, though. I wish I could stay longer, but I have a meeting tonight and I leave tomorrow.”

“She’ll never like you more if you never see her, Nav,” Cadance replied. “But I’m sure Shiny would be happy to make time. Unfortunately, the time that I was able to make is at an end. If you send a letter the next time you’re in Canterlot for a little while, we can probably make time to visit. I’m sure Eva would be happy to see her sister and I think I might need to have a talk with Celestia, if she’s planning on revealing the truth.”

“Sure. I’ll probably take a short break after I get back from Iceland.” To say goodbye, in case I never come back from Tartarus… “I’ll send you a letter when I get back.”

“Wonderful. Until then, Nav.” Her horn lit up and she lazily teleported away, off to do fancy and official princess business.

Eva immediately gripped my hand with magic and tugged. She wasn’t strong enough to pull me up, but I didn’t waste any more time. “Let’s go see your room, honey,” I said with a grin.

She squeed and zoomed off. I followed at a much more sedate pace. When she realized that she left me in the dust, she moved back and landed next to me, still beaming. Well, up until her eyes turned green. Then the smile dipped a little, but it was still there. “Hey, mom. Long time no see.”

“Howdy, Poly. Or I guess, dear. Not that it’ll change anything, but when I adopted Eva, did I adopt all of you? I don’t consider it a problem, I’d just like to know where the rest of you stand.”

“Yep! We figured it would be a lot easier to keep track of for everyone else.” So I guess I now have five children. So much for never wanting any. “If you don’t want us to call you mom, we won’t.”

“It doesn’t hurt my feelings. How is Mimeo liking being my daughter?”

She smirked. “He said he’s your son, not your daughter.”

“Oh? Those adoption papers said that you were going to become my daughter, not my child. So Lady Ganger and Lady Mimeo are now officially my daughters as well.” That made her chuckle. “I’ll be sure to get Rarity to make each of you new dresses, so you can all fit into your new court life.”

“No thank you. I’m quite fine without frills and lace everywhere, thank you. But putting Mimeo in one would be very amusing. And I’m sure the maids Ganger always chases would love seeing him prettified.”

“Does he ever catch them?”

“Nope. He lacks his mother’s charm.”

“Then I guess I’ll have to teach him the ropes. It’s my responsibility, now. So much to do and so little time… Are you guys going to keep living here or are you going to come back to the ship?”

She sighed and hung her head for a short moment. “We talked about it for a while. Eva wants to go with you. The rest of us think it’s too dangerous. As much as I love seeing the world, I don’t want to see Tartarus. After you get back from there, do you think it’ll get safer?”

“I don’t think it can get worse, so technically. I’ll make you the same offer I made you before, then: If you ever want to come with me, I’ll move the world to make it happen. But if you feel that your place is somewhere else, I’d rather you be happy and feel safe. That’s what’s important to me, Poly.”

“And that’s why you’re our mom now,” she said, pressing up against me.

By the time she pulled away, her eyes were pink again. “So what do you want to see after my room, mommy?”

“Whatever you’d like to show me. I don’t know this city very well. As long as I’m with you, I’m sure it’ll be fun.”

She practically pranced the rest of the way to her room. It was pretty fucking adorable. Her room was also pretty adorable and once again made me realize that I honestly never asked how old she was, at least compared to Taya. The entire place seemed like a preteen girl’s paradise. There were a few stallion-only band posters, a picture of me posed with her and Taya, stuffed animals all over the place, cartoon-esque hearts dotted the walls, I could see spare clothes poking out of her closet, she had her own bathroom, her bed was huge and covered in plush pillows and what looked like a ludicrously soft blanket, and the vast majority of everything was pink.

Oh boy, now I have a goth daughter and a prissy daughter. This is gonna be interesting. “Do you all share this room, or do you each have your own?”

“We all share it! Mimeo loves waking up cuddling his stuffed monkey and don’t ever let him tell you otherwise! And Poly is the one who put up the posters. Cadance told Ganger to make hearts for all the maids, but none of them accepted…”

Ouch. So much for being the charismatic one. “Cadance doesn’t know anything about picking up women. I’ll have to get him up to speed next time I’m in town. Or the next time you guys are in Canterlot. Whichever. And we can see about going to a concert or something as well. I have a lot of contacts in the music industry. We can probably get tickets to anything we want.”

“Oooh, can Taya come?”

“If she wants.” I wonder how she’ll take the news. “Go ahead and get ready. We can talk plenty while we’re out.”

“Yes, mommy.” She trotted to the bathroom and started doing her thing in there. I slowly walked around the room, looking around at all the stuff she had. The place certainly seemed more ‘lived in’ than her room in my house, but I guess we all had a feeling that place would be temporary.

In the end, I found myself on her very comfortable bed. After gently bouncing on it for a moment, I found myself wishing Celestia liked me as much as Cadance apparently liked Eva, because that shit was super nice. Then again, after spending so much time on that airship, just about anything would be nice.

My daughter didn’t take very long to get herself ready, at least. She didn’t put on any makeup, but she apparently had a white sundress in her bathroom that was just waiting to get worn. “It’s gonna be kinda dark out, but that doesn’t bother me!”

“Dark?” I asked.

“Yeah! It’s winter, so the sun almost never shines. It’s just like the hives!”

“Oh yeah. Ready?”

“Yep!” She led the way back out of her room and then into the city, prattling all the while about how she had been and what she had been doing. None of the others chimed in and I kinda started to wonder if she would be ending up as the dominant and only personality at some point. She would lose some of her charm, but it would probably be the best thing for her, realistically speaking.

That was a choice for them, though. Either way, I was happy to spend time with her and see Cadance’s city. The place was doing fantastic. With all the gold going back to the public, the economy was pretty much back where it should be. There were several street vendors out and about, hawking various sundries. The smell of roasted vegetables and fruits was everywhere and I saw a few I didn’t recognize, presumably local stuff that didn’t grow in normal climates. There were a few street performers here and there and we passed one of the random roaming pony songs while she was showing me around.

It was still almost entirely crystal ponies, though. We passed a few unicorns, but no pegasi at all. There were a fairly large number of griffins out and about, but given that griffins were their closest neighbors, it wasn’t too surprising.

Still, even without much in the way of variety in the streets, the city was pretty nice. All the crystal ponies seemed happy, the weather seemed pretty constant due to the big bubble thing, and there was no bullshit sun constantly shining in their faces anymore. It made me kinda sleepy, but not enough to fuck with me too much.

And the best part was the giant crystal statue of me we found in a square. Well, maybe not the best part, but it was a pretty cool part. In it, my fists were raised like I was about to punch someone in the face. I had my typical triumphant smirk on, which is apparently how everyone knew I meant business.

“I wonder how many giant statues I have in my honor now,” I said as I read the inscription.

“There are more?” Eva asked.

“I know there’s one in a changeling hive. As far as I know, that’s all. But I haven’t been back to Egypt in a while and there’s no telling what the monkeys might have done in South America after I left. Or the gorillas in Africa. It always feels kinda weird, seeing myself like this. But I guess I’ve come to appreciate it, in some ways. Being a hero can be very useful.”

Especially when the common people don’t go out of their way to crowd around you and make note of the fact. I was the hero of the city, but no one approached me for anything more than to just shake my hand. I did get a small amount of free food from a few vendors we passed, but nothing too outrageous. For the most part, it was nothing but beneficial. I guess growing up with an extremely dickish and evil king kinda put a damper on hero worship or something.

“Can you take me with you when you and Cadance go to the hives?” she asked. “I wanna see it!”

“Probably. I’ll have to talk to Moonbeam first. Remember, you’re very different from the average changelings and things in the hives aren’t as… normal as they are here.” Her ears fell and she sighed. In a way, I knew how she felt. My homecoming wasn’t exactly the greatest, either. In a way, neither of us really had a home or a family to go back to.

She perked up when I put my hand on her back and the tour continued.

We didn’t go into the library, but apparently it was flourishing now that they had a much better organizational system and scholars from all over Equestria and Gryphonia were coming up north to find books thought long lost.

Needless to say, it was probably the most heavily guarded building in the entire city. Apparently Shiny put all the guards there instead of in the palace so Celestia wouldn’t be able to try stealing any of the books to censor history. Eva was a very common fixture in the library, or so she said. Learning to read was apparently something she always wanted, and when I finally gave her the chance, she took it and ran. Her room would have been covered in them, but the policy for checking out books was extremely strict due to the extra security.

After several hours had passed, I finally deemed that the tour was over. The stupidly hard crystal roads were doing a number on my feet, even through the shoes, and it was probably getting about time for me to head back to Equestria anyway. My newest daughter wasn’t too happy about it, but either she understood or the others talked some sense into her.

It didn’t take us too long to get back to the palace. It was centrally located, super huge, and we were the only people in the air so flying to it was simple. Most palaces had some kind of landing pad for flyers, but this one was built by racists, so we had to land at the bottom and walk in like some kind of dirty peasants. I guess it accomplished the same thing, either way. Eva led me right to the throne room, where Cadance was talking to some random crystal horse about random crystal horse shit.

We stood out of the way until they were done and the crystal pony dipped. When he was heading down the stairs, Cadance stood again. “I was wondering if you were going to make it. You’re pushing your time a little, Nav.”

“I can normally tell when it is by the sun,” I said with a shrug. “Maybe you should put a clock on Sombra’s compensator.”

“His… what?” she asked.

“This big-ass palace sticking straight up out of the city. You can’t tell me he wasn’t compensating for something.”

She lifted a hoof to her temple for a moment before shrugging and lowering it. “I’ve considered putting a clocktower up in the city, but I’d have to either import the mages from Canterlot or hire specialized clockmakers and gear grinders, both of which are outrageously expensive. It will happen, I just haven’t decided when or where. But definitely not in the palace itself, because it would take up far too much room and be way too loud besides.”

“Eh, whatevs. You do you, dawg. But if it is that late, I should probably get back.”

“I believe you have time to see Shiny, if you want. I don’t think it would bother him too much if you just popped in to say hi.”

“Sure, why not? Might as well be polite.”

She smiled and nodded, then looked at my changeling. “Eva, I’m afraid it’s time to let Poly take back over. You’ve been neglecting your duties for long enough, I believe.”

Eva sighed and nodded, then jumped into the air to hug me. I hugged her back, of course. When she finally let go, her eyes were back to green. “I won’t say no to more hugs either, you know,” Poly said with a grin.

So I immediately hugged her again. “You guys hungry?” I asked. “I’d be happy to feed you.”

“We’re fine,” she replied. “And we’d rather get it from Cadance anyway. Taking emotions from your memories drains you, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, probably. But you’re worth it.” When I let her down, she was back to beaming. “I’ll see you guys either the next time I’m in town or the next time you’re in Canterlot. We’ll find something to do, I’m sure.”

“I’m looking forward to it. Maybe by then, we’ll get Lady Mimeo and Lady Ganger some new dresses.”

Cadance gasped. “That does make them ladies! And your daughters! Oh, this is going to be very amusing!”

“Both of them are muttering right now,” Poly reported. “But yes, I think it’s gonna be fun. Eva will be sure to teach them all about making themselves pretty.”

“Sounds adorable,” I said with a grin. And something right up Rarity’s alley. “Shall we, Cadance?”

“Let’s,” she said with a small nod. “I’ll see you later tonight, Poly,” she said. The changeling saluted, then buzzed out a window that was too small for me but just large enough for her. “Right this way,” Cadance said, starting to head down the stairs. I fell in next to her as we walked.

As soon as we were far enough away from the guards, I asked, “So how are things really going here?”

“For once, just about as well as it seems. We did inherit a mess from Sombra, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as we initially thought. Aside from the economy and food, everything seemed to be working really well. Having your soldiers to keep order in the initial days were vital, as were the improvements your minotaur smith helped plan and put into place. Since you left, King Bloodbeak and Princess Celestia have been competing to see who can garner the most goodwill. Queen… Moonbeam would be doing the same, if I would allow her. A large chunk of our infrastructure has been modernized already and most of what remains will be finished in good order. Now that we have food growing in the outskirts of the city, things are going very well and Shiny and I are only expecting them to get better.”

“Any troubles with the nobles? They seemed like snakes."

“That’s because they are snakes. Thankfully, Shining Armor is using a skill he learned from you on them and it seems to be working very well.”

“...Is he threatening them?”

“No, actually. He’s just pretending to be so stupid that he has no idea what any of their sly remarks mean. He takes every single thing they say at face value and makes them feel stupid when they try to be clever. It drives them crazy and they all try to get audiences with me, but we make sure that my schedule is always full.”

“Well, he’s doing me proud. Things still going well between the two of you?”

“Never been better. The stress of ruling our own city has brought us closer than ever before. And we can find some very creative ways to spend time with and for each other.”

I decided not to ask exactly what she meant by that. “Sounds like you guys have a pretty good thing going here. Are you sure you really need my help?”

“We won’t lose the kingdom without it, but we would both be very happy to have you here. You have many talents that rulers find quite useful. And even if you were just here as a friend, I would be happy to have you. At the moment, Eva is the only servant I have that doesn’t treat me like a princess. I never realized how truly alienating power can be.”

“Yeah, that shit can suck hella hard. Why do you think Celestia is how she is?”

“Yes, I imagine a thousand years of loneliness could lead even the nicest soul astray.” Imagine how Athena feels. Or Arachne. Or Discord. “How is she doing, Nav? You said she is going to reveal the truth soon.”

“She… is probably not doing so well.” I reaching into a pocket to put my ring on in case she was watching through my eyes. “I’m not supposed to know this at all, but Luna abdicated the throne.”

Cadance missed a step. “Can she do that?!”

“Apparently. Celestia hasn’t told me yet and I’m not going to bring it up to her. And I advise that you not do so either, or mention it to anyone else. She was doing pretty good up until that happened. She seemed very tense this morning. I’m still debating whether or not I want to try talking to her about it yet.”

“Keep your silence. If you found out unofficially, she is likely still reeling and trying to process it. In fact, leaving Equestria soon will be a very wise idea, Nav. It seems that when Celestia loses something, she tries to hold onto all that she has left all the tighter. You are her friend and her lover. I imagine she will be very interested in having you close soon.”

“Hm.” There are certainly worse fates. “The world is turning, Cadance. For the first time in a long time, for better or worse, the world is turning. And like it or not, Celestia is one of the gears that’s making things move. We can either help grease those cogs to see how far the ride will take us or try to jam a stick in them to stop it while we’re facing up. Which option are you going to choose?”

“...After all this time, do you really think rallying behind Celestia is the best option the ponies have?”

“It isn’t about ponies, Cadance. It’s about everyone. As to that, I honestly don’t know. If not Celestia, then who? You’re too new on the scene. Bloodbeak is too old. Moonbeam is too distrusted. Pyrite is eccentric. The cats are unimportant, the sheep are basically a slave race, no one cares about the deer or the cows, the minotaurs only have one city, the dogs are too unknown.”

“There’s always you.”

That made it my turn to miss a step. “Don’t… don’t even joke about that, Cadance. No one wants to follow me.”

“Your crew is the most diverse group of warriors I have ever seen or even heard of, Nav. You’re a hero in every major nation in the world. Moonbeam told me she proposed to you more than once, but you turned her down. Bloodbeak told me he offered to make you a general, but you declined. You’re Celestia’s unofficial consort. You led a successful rebellion against an evil king. You saved the Crystal Empire from another evil king. You saved Equestria from an evil queen. You stopped an eternal war in South America. You helped stop a demon invasion. You’ve done so, so much more, Nav. I think the world would be happy to follow you. The only question is, what will make you willing to lead it?”

I didn’t have an answer to that question. After a few seconds, I decided the conversation was done and I slid my ring off. We continued walking in silence, until I couldn’t help but finally ask, “Where are we even going?”

“Nowhere. We’ve been walking in circles for a little while.” She finally stopped in front of a door and put her hoof on the handle. “Are you really sure you want to see him, Nav?”

“I mean, I wouldn’t mind. But the way you said that makes me think I’m about to see something I might not need to see.”

“...Remember how I said he was tied up?”

“I don’t think I want to see him anymore.”

She smirked and pushed the door open. I took a look inside. I slowly looked back at Cadance. I took another look inside. When I looked back at her again, her smirk had turned very naughty.

I sighed, walked in, fiddled with a dial on a remote, ignored the accompanying grunt and splatter, then walked back to the door and closed it behind me.

“I would like to go to the teleportation room now.”

“Right this way, Navi.”

“Are you going to tell him what just happened?” I asked.

“Nope! He spent far too long being afraid of you and I wouldn’t want a relapse.”

“...What? He was afraid of me?”

“Oh, yes. For years. It started as fear for his sister, but then he started to fear for his own safety around you. It was actually a problem for a little while and he really wasn’t comfortable letting me stay with you. I don’t know how long it took me to convince him that you weren’t going to do anything. It’s not a problem anymore and I don’t want to make it one.”

“Why the fuck was he afraid of me?”

“...Really? Do you have to ask?”

“Uh. Yeah?”

“Well, before he met you, Celestia briefed him on what happened with the naga. So his first introduction to you was learning that you were from another dimension and destroyed a full camp of bloodthirsty mercenaries almost single-hoofedly and that Celestia hoof picked you for a dangerous mission into unknown lands against unknown enemies, over all of the soldiers and agents he suggested. Then you got back covered in scars and Spike was telling insane stories and you refused to discuss any of it. And then you almost hurt Twilight in front of him. So that was his first introduction to the great Navarone.”

“Not too shabby, all things told. And nothing to really be afraid of there, not really.”

“Then you apparently fought your way out of an entire dragon migration, almost entirely alone and with no magic at all.”

“I didn’t do any fighting at all. I just ran like crazy and hoped for the best.”

“Then you go back to Egypt and defeat two assassins who ambushed you. And you apparently tortured one of them in front of the guards there.”

“Not entirely true, but even if it was, why would that make him fear me?”

“It just showed off your skills even more. Then you embarrassed him by fake assassinating both princesses on the same night, when his security was the absolute tightest, which just showcased your skills even more. Then there was Maris, where you won your first tournament. And as soon as you got back, you defeated Chrysalis, who had his mind imprisoned, and embarrassed him yet again by saving me where he had not only failed, but didn’t even realize I had been missing.”

“That’s still nothing done directly to him, though. I may have embarrassed him a few times, but—”

“Then he found out what happened with the diamond dog miners, how you helped the changelings, his mortal enemies, brutally murder them all. But the start of the true fear was in Gryphus.”

“When I saved your lives against an assassin?”

“When you killed an assassin in front of both of us that neither of us realized was there while pouring blood and seemingly not even noticing. That kind of thing gives most ponies pause, Nav. The next big point was the party in Flankfurt. A lot of things happened there that made him fear you more. The first was how easily you captured the Dogfather. The second was how easily you dispatched many of the Dogfather’s remaining goons in the library. And the third was bursting out of the darkness with a dagger in both hands, slipping through his impenetrable barrier with absolutely no difficulty at all, and attacking him when he felt like he was absolutely and totally secure. Then you went on to win the tournament, getting most kills and tying for the full prize. Alone, I might add.”

“...Alright, I can see why that might make someone nervous. But afraid? Come on.”

“The next big thing was when I mentioned the possibility of a threesome with you. He knew he wasn’t really the best in bed and was horrified that I might use you to replace him as a lover, since you were apparently amazing. I told him time and again that I would never do that and he finally gave me permission to ask. And then you said you would prefer him, which scared him even more. He isn’t into stallions and you terrify him anyway, so when you said you wanted him, he knew he had no way to defend himself if you decided to take him.”

“Okay, that’s just funny.” She gave me a very stern look. “Well, it’s funny to me, at least.”

Her eyes rolled and she continued, “Then you wake up naked in bed with me with no idea what was going on and violently murder two assassins with nothing but a throwing knife, somehow without waking me up in the process.”

“Alright, Imma level with you on that one. I was aware the whole time. Celestia just shrank me to do some really creepy infantilism fetish thing, but it was actually me. I saw them fly in the window, decided they weren’t too much of a threat, and killed them shortly after you fell asleep using my small size and the darkness to hide.”

“...That is extremely disturbing. And in a way, it makes it a lot scarier. I have a lot of questions about that, but I’m going to choose to keep going and do my best to forget what you just told me.”

“‘Kay.”

“The final nail in that particular coffin was the war games.”

“...I can see how some of what I did might make someone afraid of me.”

“Nav, you tore his throat out with your teeth!”

“Hey, I was following a direct order from Princess Luna! Dude straight up brought that one on himself. Seriously, what was he thinking?”

“Ugh. Whatever. When he reappeared in Canterlot after what you did, he was in the process of wetting himself. The only reason he came to your house right after is because he thought it would take you much longer to finish the games. When he saw you at your door looking like you did… It took him months to get over that.”

“...Oh.”

“He started getting better around when Blueblood stabbed you. Luna’s confession was the end of his fear. Before you arrived here to help us against Sombra, I actually heard him quietly wishing you were here. He didn’t know what to do, but he knew you would figure something out. I feel like that was the first time he may have really thought of you as a friend.”

“Huh.”

“Yeah.” We continued walking in silence for another few awkward seconds before she cleared her throat. “So uh… Don’t tell him I said any of that. He would be soooo embarrassed.”

“More embarrassed than if I told him what you just showed me?”

“...Please don’t mention either.”

“You got it, sis.” That made her miss another step, but she happily bumped into me on the next one.

We weren’t too far from the teleporting room, so we got there without any more conversation. Before she opened the door to it, she stood on her hind legs to hug me. “It was really good to see you again, Nav.”

“And it was really good to talk,” I said, hugging her warm and squishy body back. “I’ll have to do some more soul-searching, I suppose.”

“And some more heart-searching. I will absolutely keep in mind what you told me, Nav. I am going to hook you up after you beat Discord. So start scoping out targets, because if you don’t give me any, I’ll pick myself.”

“You’d probably pick someone better for me than anyone I could pick.”

“Probably.” She finally dropped the hug and pulled back with a smile. “But sometimes, ponies have to learn what heartbreak is before they can learn what love is. Finding the wrong partner isn’t the end of the world, it just teaches you what you don’t want. So I’ll be happy to help you be with whoever you want to be with for as long as you can stand to be with them.”

“Good enough for me, I guess. I’ll be sure to send you guys a letter the next time I’m around. Just make sure that Shiny’s wearing the appropriate outfit this time.”

She giggled and said, “I’ll commission something special from Rarity. I’ll see you when you get back from Iceland, Nav. Have fun and good luck.”

“Here’s hoping I don’t need it.” Her horn lit up and the door opened. I booped her on the nose one last time before stepping into the room and almost immediately disappearing and reappearing in front of Celestia, who pushed me over and onto a bed before joining me on it. “Hello, Celestia.”

“Hello, Navi,” she happily said before pressing her lips against mine for a moment. “How was your trip?”

“Good. I got the advice I wanted from Cadance, I officially adopted a second, third, fourth, and fifth daughter, and I got to see Shiny.”

“Hm. Do you know the exact moment my clock struck three, Nav?”

“No, but I imagine if you’re asking, it was probably a memorable moment.”

“It was right as Cadance was opening the door to her personal bedchamber.”

“Oh.”

“Oh indeed, Navi…” She kissed me again, this time using a little bit of tongue. “It is good to know that Shining Armor and Cadance are maintaining an active love life,” she said when she finally pulled back. “But it got me to thinking about the question I wanted to ask you, the question I requested when oh-so-generously offering you my transportation services.”

“The question I’ll be oh-so-happy to answer, or discuss. Whichever.” I leaned forward to try to kiss her, but she pulled away. When I gave up, she leaned back in and kissed me again.

Once she was done with that, she smiled down at me and asked, “Where do you see this relationship going, Nav?” Uh oh. “You told me once that you would be willing to give me a chance after your trip was done. As it stands, you seem to be getting very close to a number of mares. Fleur, Captain Midnight, Twilight. Perhaps a few others. If you do not wish to be with me after all, I understand. I have put you through horrible things. But I don’t want to feel like I am stuck waiting for something that you know is never going to happen. I want to know if you are still interested.”

“Well, I’ll tell you right now that Blossom and I are just friends. Occasionally friends with benefits, but just friends all the same.” She rolled her eyes. “Aside from that, though… I don’t suppose you’d take ‘I don’t really know’ as an answer?” As a reply, she kissed me again. “I’m gonna take that as a no.” She kissed me once more. “That’s not a very useful answer, Celestia.” She didn’t kiss me that time. “Alright, here’s the dealio: I legitimately don’t know what I want. I know that’s not the answer you want to hear, but I’m afraid that’s the answer I have. I’ve never been in a real relationship, not a good one. I’m feeling the waters, if that makes sense. I’m seeing what options are available. I do like you, Celestia. I could see a relationship between us working out pretty well. And yes, I do believe we could end up being in love. But at the moment, I don’t know if that’s what I want. I hate to tell you that, I really do. I like being with you and I like being around you. I enjoy spending time with you. But a relationship with you would have issues. I know you know that. And the way things are going, I’m not really sure what’s going to be what when this quest is over.”

“How would you feel if I abdicated my throne, Nav?”

“W-what?”

“I’ve considered it in the past. Tell everypony the truth and then abdicate. Go into seclusion. Just me and a few friends and loyal retainers. Would you be still be willing to stay by my side if that is the path I choose?”

“...I’m not interested in you for your power, if that’s what you’re asking. I don’t think you should abdicate, but if you did, I would still be just as interested as I am now. That said, we would have a lot more time for each other…”

“Indeed we would. I would like you to very strongly consider it, Navarone.” She sighed deeply and then pulled herself off of me. “I am about to tell you at least one secret. Nothing of this coming conversation leaves this room, Nav.”

“You got it, babe.” I finally had a moment to look around and I realized we were actually in my room at the palace.

“Discord is the one who put me in power.”

“Oh. I already knew that, actually.”

“...Really?”

“Yeah. I guess I never really described what happened in Athena’s realm. Twilight and I got to act out a lot of scenes in books that pertained to our interests. One of the scenes we got to be in was right after the last battle with Discord against you, Luna, and Moonbeam. We got to see him twist your arm until you agreed to lead the ponies.”

“Huh. And you never thought that might be something you should discuss with me?”

“Dude, I never know how you’re going to react. Remember that time you threw me against a wall for something I didn’t even do?”

“...Fair enough. Anyway, I was going somewhere with that. Discord is the one who put me in power. He did so for a reason. As you said, it is possible and even likely that he has a very long game going on, pulling strings that I never once realized were there. I came to the conclusion that cutting those strings might be wiser than trying to use them for my own ends. It is something that Moonbeam and I have both been considering, actually. We have not yet decided what we will do when the truth is out. One of the options was abdicating.”

“That would be a very interesting choice. Where would you go?”

“I have not decided yet. I would like to go some place where I could not easily be found. Moonbeam and I can provide for a sizeable number of ponies with magic. Feeding her might be problematic, but Discord made her immortal anyway, so it wouldn’t be a problem as long as his magic doesn’t unravel after he is undone.” Jesus, why does everyone have so much confidence in me? “If that is the path I chose, would you consider joining us? Moonbeam and I have agreed to share you, if you would be interested.”

“I don’t know how to feel about that last part.” She shrugged. “I’ll consider it. But I don’t like the idea of leaving the world behind. It would take a whole lot of convincing for me to agree.”

“I understand. We haven’t truly decided that’s what we want to do. Just think of it as one more option in a future full of them.”

“Alright. What about Luna, once she’s done doing whatever she’s doing?”

“...I do not know what plans Luna has for her future. We are no longer as close as we once were, I’m afraid. I do not think she would be interested in joining us, however.”

“Five thousand years is a long time to throw away. I know you’re close to me and you want to be closer, but am I worth estranging yourself from her?”

She turned and walked over to look out the window. “I… asked her to do horrible things for me in those five thousand years. I asked her to become a monster. It took me far too long to realize that a little bit of love and a few encouraging words do not fix five thousand years of psychological torture and one thousand years of abandonment issues. What I did to her is unforgivable. I would not ask her to retire with me, even if you did not accompany us. She needs to find her own path, find her own peace. I hope she will find a place for herself one day, for I am afraid that her place is no longer by my side.”

I hopped off the bed and walked over to put my hand on her back. “What you did may have been unforgivable, but that doesn’t mean she can’t love you anyway, Celestia. She’s still your sister. It should be up to her to decide if she wants to be by your side, not you.”

She pushed me away with a wing and then used magic to push me back even more, onto the bed. When she spun to me, there were tears in her eyes. “She made her choice! And now she can stay there where she belongs, for all I bucking care!”

“...Celestia, what happened?”

She sniffled and looked away. “She… Never mind, Nav. You don’t need to know.”

“I don’t need to, but you’re obviously upset. You already said that nothing we’re talking about leaves this room.”

Her wings sank down almost the floor and her head dropped down. “Luna… Luna abdicated…”

“Oh. Can she do that?”

“Apparently…”

“Can she… undo that?”

“In theory… but I don’t think she will. I think she no longer wants a place in Equestria. I think she no longer wants to be by my side. I think she knows that she hurt you and she knows that you hate her and she knows that all the ponies fear her. Five thousand years together… gone.”

“Celestia… you lost Luna a thousand years ago. I hate to say it, but she never really came back from the moon. Not really. Even to someone immortal, a thousand years is a long time. It invokes a lot of changes. She stopped being your sister back then. Ever since, it’s just been a stranger wearing her skin. Sometimes, that’s okay. Sometimes, people can reconcile changes like that. But sometimes, they can’t. Sometimes, separation is the best for all parties. I don’t have that kind of history with anyone. I literally cannot imagine it. But when two people change too much, sometimes they just can’t be together anymore. Maybe it’s time Luna walked her own path. Maybe it’s time for Luna to be… Luna, not Celestia’s sword.”

“But that’s what I wanted!” she wailed, looking up and crying again. “I wanted her to come back to me! I wanted her to be herself, not who I willed! I wanted to finally learn who my sister was! I learned my lesson, I just wanted to give her a chance to realize it!”

I took a moment to think of the right way to word what I was about to say. “It’s hard for somebody to be themselves around someone who they think is expecting something from them, Celestia. Five thousand years is a long time. It… cements a personality in someone’s mind. To her, deviating from that would be terrifying. She’d constantly feel like she was letting you down or that you would be judging her. But if she starts new, away from you, she can take time to truly discover who she wants to be, without anyone expecting anything from her. Or to put it another way, you can never truly be yourself around family. You can only be who your family expects you to be. Sometimes, getting away from them is the only way you can truly learn to be yourself. And that is from personal experience.”

She became the third person to almost stab me that day when she suddenly rushed forward and hugged me, crying into my chest. At least she didn’t impale the bed behind me. I just held her and rocked her huge body back and forth, wondering if I would be able to get this over with before I was supposed to meet everyone for dinner. There wasn’t a clock in the room, so I didn’t know what time it was. That said, it couldn’t have been past four yet, so I’m sure I still had time.

I did want to wrap it up quickly, though. Unfortunately, an easy option to do so didn’t really present itself. It was one of those situations where an elemental would have been great. All I had was my shitty self, though, so all I could really do was sit there and get her tears and snot all over me.

Thankfully, Celestia’s a pretty big girl. It didn’t take her too terribly long to get over the fact that she’s an absolute monster that completely destroyed any chance her loving and devoted sister ever had for a decent life. Or at least, it didn’t take her too long to stop crying about it. Once her tears stopped, she was just left hugging me and huddling against my not-so-luscious breasts. I zoned out and slowly started playing with her weird fake hair as we sat together in silence.

“Life is… hard, Nav,” she quietly whispered.

“It’s the hardest thing most people ever do.”

“I just want to lie here… I don’t want to go back to ruling…”

“I’m not in too much of a hurry.” She just sighed and we went back to silence. I zoned back out and just held the princess in my arms, still playing with her airy hair. I can honestly say, I never expected my life would take me here. As I contemplated the sheer absurdity of my life, she slowly drifted off and started gently snoring. Great, now I’m going to be here even longer. God dammit, I need a shrink ray and a baby carrier for all the motherfuckers that just want to cuddle with me all the time.

Thinking about that amused me and helped pass the time until Celestia finally stopped napping on me. When she woke up, she did so with a small flinch, followed by a regretful sigh as she pulled away. “Nav, I… Wait…” She reached a hoof up to her head and grabbed her hair. “Did you… did you braid my mane?”

“Holy shit, I did.” Her hair is usually really animated and flowed like a wave. Now that it was braided, it was still moving, but it more like a snake. “Sorry. I’m haunted by a phantom braider. She does that bullshit with everyone who falls asleep on me.”

“Huh.” She let it go and watched it move. “I wonder…” It moved closer to me and then poked one of my boobs. “Oh my. I never thought to…” She slowly looked me up and down before shaking her head. “Later. Although… Do you think you could also braid my tail?”

“Like, right now?”

“No, no. Later. But could you?”

“I dunno. I don’t actually know how to do it myself. The ghost chained to my neck is the one that does it, not me. Flo also knows how, but she isn’t currently in me.”

She leaned in a little closer. “...Really? Flo isn’t in you right now?”

“She is not, no. The advice I wanted from Cadance was related to that.” That made her lean in even more, which made me unconsciously pull back. “Why?”

“And what advice did you seek from Cadance, hm?” Her voice had a very strange tilt to it.

“Whether or not I should let Flo come back.” She picked up just the barest hint of a grin. “Why?”

“And what did you decide from your conversation with our dear Princess Cadance?”

“That I should talk it out with Flo. She has done a lot for me. We’re close. We’ve had problems, but problems can be worked out if both sides choose to do so. So I’ll see if she wants to work on them. If not, that’s that. If so, we’ll work on them. I haven’t decided if she’ll be inside of me when we do. That’s something else we can talk about. Why?”

She suddenly swooped in and kissed me right on the nose, then pulled back and quietly said, “Flo is bad for you, Nav. Those things are parasites.”

“I disagree, but I understand why you think that. But either way, I’m not stupid, Celestia. Drop this now and I’ll pretend it didn’t happen.”

“Nav, please hear me out. I don’t want to make it seem like I want you all to myself.” I rolled my eyes. She lifted a hoof to my cheek. “I want you to be happy, to have what’s best for you. And I think the elementals might not be what you really want. When I first met you, you were so sure in who you were. You wore it like a shroud, something that you would never let leave you. I feel like over time, she completely changed who you were. Is this really what you want, or is it what she wants? I offered once to wipe your mind and make you happy with the world, but you turned me down. Is what she did to you any different? I don’t know what differences you and Flo had, but maybe this is your sign. Use this time to think, now that she is not whispering a siren song in your ear. Are you truly happy with the choices you make now that she is not praising you for making them? If you decide that this change is what you really want, I will be so happy for you. Knowing what you want is amazing and doing it is even moreso. But if your new life seems unappealing to you now, maybe it’s time to leave it behind. I will stand by you either way.”

“...I’ve had my second thoughts,” I sighed, lifting my hand to her hoof and looking away. “Even when she was in me. Relative pacifism feels like a hard thing. I have skills. I know what will work to keep me safe. Why should I try another method that might just hurt me? But I can’t help but feel that it’s the right thing to do. How can I know if that’s a change I like or if that’s just because she wants it to be? I’m trying to keep as open of a mind as I can, but she was in me for a long time. It can be hard to let go, even to the wrong person. I still haven’t decided what I’ll do, unfortunately.”

“Then please, keep my advice in your thoughts.” Of course, it was so much easier to control me when I didn’t have an inner voice telling me not to listen to you. You’re just like your sister.

I decided it wise not to say that. “I will,” I lied. Her horn didn’t light up. She smiled and pulled me in for another deep kiss, then finally pushed me back.

“Thank you for answering my question, Nav. I’ll see you later.”

“See you, Princess.” If she wanted to treat me like that, I would stop calling her by her name. I was hoping she would take the hint.

If she noticed it at all, she didn’t react. She just smiled and nodded before trotting out and collecting her guards. Did she just make them listen to that?

Whatever. I finally walked over to dresser and changed into something more formal. The only meat eating places in Canterlot were fancy and I’m apparently supposed to be a good little lady now.

Once that was done, I took a moment to look down from my window to make sure there were no peeping toms, then jumped out and flew up to the ship. The only one on the deck of the ship was Spike, who was warming up with some calisthenics. I don’t know why, because nobody was going to spar with him in the freezing weather.

As soon as I landed, he looked up and grinned. “Hey Nav. Where you been?”

“I had to talk to Cadance, so Celestia teleported me to the Crystal Empire.”

“Oh, that place is awesome! You should have brought me!”

“Can Celestia teleport you that far twice?”

“...I dunno. Anyway, are you ready for tonight?”

“I think so, aside from it being cold as shit. All my heavy coats are on the ship.”

“Oh, it’s not too bad.”

I looked up at the top of the balloon and shook my head. “Spike, the balloon’s just covered in icicles.” He looked up right as one dripped on him. It turned to steam as soon as it hit him. “You lucky dragon motherfucker.”

He looked back at me and grinned even wider. “You’ll be just like it tomorrow. Looking forward to it?”

“Kinda, in a way. I like going into missions like this, especially with this heavy of an unknown. I think you can get some information about who you are and I can work with the elementals to free Char. If we’re lucky, this will be an easy break before Tartarus in what’s probably a paradise resort for dragons. I don’t want to be away from the ship for so long, but I don’t think I’m going to look back too much.”

“It’s good to see you so optimistic, Nav. Even if it’s… kinda rare.”

“Shut your dick holster, Spike. Now how much longer do we have before this thing?”

“Probably about fifteen minutes. The captain agreed to fly us over the restaurant so the naga doesn’t freeze in the cold.”

“Makes sense. Did we invite Doppel?”

“I forced Gilda to. Oh, and Gilda and Dash apparently went to Gryphonia for us and brought back mead. Dash is going to get a few bottles, but most of it is going to us.”

“Oh boy, this might… get outta hand.”

His head tilted slightly. “What do you mean?”

“The last time the naga had alcohol, bad things happened.”

“I’m sure he’s learned from that,” Spike replied with a shrug. “He’s usually really responsible.”

“His actions are on your hands, Spike,” I warned. “Don’t let him have any.”

“What, you can’t stop him?”

“I could, but I’ll be drinking too. I’m gonna get fucked up. Now I’m going below.” I don’t think he really had a reply to that, so I just went down to my room.

Taya was wrapped up in my blankets in the most adorable way possible. She looked up and grinned when I walked in. “Your bed is so much warmer than mine, mommy.”

“Then we’ll have to get you more blankets.”

“You’d make it even better. You’re always so warm…”

“Maybe tonight, but I’ll be a dragon after that. That said, I’m probably getting drunk tonight, so there’s no telling what might happen.”

“Oh. Is… is it your birthday already?”

“No, I’m quitting that tradition. This is a celebration for the carnivores, for making it so long on an herbivore ship. Predators and omnivores only.”

“But… I’m a pure-blooded predator where it counts!”

“Taya, no you’re not.” She sighed. “We’re going to a place where they bring meat by on skewers and scrape it onto your plate if you’re interested. You aren’t going.”

“Ugh, fine."

"That said, if you'd be kind enough to give me some energy, I'd be quite happy..." Her horn lit up and I was flooded with her loving warmth. "Thank you, honey."

"So where were you all day?”

“In the Crystal Empire. Which reminds me that we have something really important to talk about tomorrow before I leave. Hopefully I’ll remember that after I get trashed tonight.”

“I’ll remember for you, mommy. But something really important shouldn’t wait, should it? You could tell me now!”

“Alright, sure.” I sat on the bed and hugged her, pulling her out of the blankets. “While I was in the Crystal Empire, I adopted Eva.”

“...You what.”

“And Poly.” She suddenly wrapped her legs around me very tightly. “And Ganger.” She started grinding her teeth. “And Mimeo too I guess. They’re all my daughters now.” She immediately opened her mouth, so I said, “They’re your sisters now! Aren’t you so happy to have a sister to conspire with against me? And she’s missing you, too. She was disappointed you weren’t there.”

“I’m the only daughter you’ll ever need!”

And this is why I was going to save this for tomorrow. “But you aren’t the only daughter I have enough love for. Taya, you liked Eva. I know you were sad when she left. She and Cadance are probably going to come to Canterlot when I get back from Iceland. I want you to promise me you’ll give your sisters a chance.” Her grip tightened. “It would mean so much to me.” It stayed tight for a few seconds before relaxing.

“Fine, mommy. But I will conspire with her. I’ll make you regret this in the most loving way possible.”

“I’m quivering in my dress, Taya.” I finally let her go and kissed her on the forehead. “If I’m not back before you go to sleep, you can use my bed. And please remember that I do love you. I just also love Eva. Even if you don’t come to love her as well, at least respect that.”

“...I will, mommy.”

I reached out and booped her on her adorable nose. “Alrighty.” I grabbed a heavy coat and left the room.

As I was putting it on, Gilda came out of her room and walked over. I noticed with a grin that I tried to suppress that her tail was looking… extra poofy. She didn’t comment, thankfully. “You ready, Nav?”

“Yep. Is it time?”

“Yeah. I’m gonna go tell the captain to move the ship. Let the others know to be ready soon.”

“Sure. Naga, Doppel, Kat, Spider, and Spike?”

“No Spider on this one. They got someone to… spidersit him, I guess. Kat figured this party might get kinda… adult.”

“Well, remember that the naga is married. Other than that, everyone else is an open target. I’m not planning on going to bed alone.”

“Tch, Spike’s mine. You can have the ugly knockoff me or the bug.”

Fucking burn. I’m gonna keep that one in mind. “There are always other options. We’ll see what the night brings.”

“I guess.” She finally fucked off to find the captain, so I went down the stairs to get the naga. Thankfully, he was reading another book with Doppel. I was happy to see them finally getting along. “You guys ready to go?” I asked when I stuck my head in the door.

Doppel looked it. She was all dressed up in a cute green dress. The naga actually had a handprint painted around his left shoulder.

“Ready, mistress!” Doppel said, hopping off the bed. “Is it time?”

“Just about. We’re going to move the ship closer so you guys won’t freeze.”

“That is wise,” the naga said, uncoiling. “It is chilly even in the ship.”

“Yeah, it can get drafty,” I said. “What’s up with the handprint?”

“It is how we show availability at festivals. A hand over your left shoulder indicates that you are married. A hand over your right shoulder shows you are single. A hand across your face signifies a widow. There are a few more. I do not have other ways of showing formality in pony lands. This is all I know to do.”

“Cool. And just an aside, there will be alcohol at this party. So before you drink any of the mead, remember what happened the last time you touched it.”

“That was a… different type. But I will be wary.”

“Cool. Head upstairs when the ship stops.”

“See you soon, mistress!” Doppel called as I left.

The ship started moving before I got to Kat’s room. Her door was open and she was combing her face. She was also dressed up, wearing a tight black dress that accentuated her curves in a very nice way. “Just about time,” I said.

“I will be on deck before the ship stops,” she replied. “I have a feeling that tonight will be very interesting.”

“Here’s hoping.” She was good to go, so I finally headed back up to the deck.

No one was on the lower part, but the captain, Gilda, and Spike were at the wheel. I went up the stairs to join them so I could be one of the cool kids. “Shouldn’t be a long flight,” Gourd said. “And the skies are finally clear, so we should be fine to leave the ship freefloating until you guys are done.”

“Excellent. How many people are left on the ship, Gourd?”

“Me, three of the crew, a single squad, technically Jak, Taya, all you predators, and Silver Quill. What are you gonna do about your filly while you’re gone?”

“I’ll give her the option to either stay on the ship or stay here in Canterlot. I can either rent her a place or I can see if she can stay with a friend.”

“It might not be a bad idea to get a house here, Nav,” Spike said. “It only makes sense, with as much time as you spend here.”

“And it would be good for us, too,” Gourd said. “If you get one with a skydock, we can use it as a home base. It’ll be expensive, but it’ll pay for itself over time. Docking fees add up and we can’t move goods through the palace. You can also use it to garrison more troops in between trips.”

“That’s a big investment,” I said. “And it’ll take time to put together. I’ll try to remember to talk to Silver before I go and tell her to get me a list of houses in Canterlot that fit our needs. I guess if I’m going to be a lady now, I’ll need a place in the capital city.” Though it’ll probably be a lot more trouble than it’s worth.

“Dibs on planning the house party,” Gilda immediately said. “The last one was super lame.” I heard a distant howling in the wind that made my skin crawl, but I dismissed it as a figment of my imagination.

“You can plan the private one,” I said. My ears picked up a faint sobbing noise that I did my best to ignore. “I’ll probably have a public one that I’ll let someone respectable plan.”

“Whatever, as long as I get to go first,” she said with a shrug.

“You can duke that out with the respectable person.” It would be interesting to see Fleur try to politick her way past Gilda. It would also be interesting to see Gilda plan a party before Pinkie could.

Kat made her way onto deck shortly after that conversation looking all cute and cuddly. Her thin fur was covered by a light jacket. I guess the layers kept her insulated enough even in the horrible cold. She wasted no time joining us up on the deck. “So Nav’s paying for tonight, right?”

“I thought this was my going away party. Doesn’t that mean you guys get to cover it?” I asked.

“This one’s on me,” Gilda said. “Least I can do for a spot on this awesome adventure boat. Saving the world is pretty fun.”

“Glad someone’s enjoying it,” I muttered.

“And I’m glad that someone else is paying for dinner,” Kat happily said, wagging her tail.

Gourd snorted and said, “Wish I got to go.”

“You don’t even eat meat, Gourd,” I said. “And I’m pretty sure that’s all they actually serve here.”

“No, they do have a salad bar,” Spike said. “Apparently the place was originally founded by a pony and griffin couple. They were sad that there weren’t any places for them to go on a date here in Canterlot, so they came up with this place. It’s pretty much turned into a carnivore only place, but there are still a few mixed race couples.”

“Someone did his homework,” Kat said with a nod. “It’s always good to know the history of the places you go.”

“Yeah, if you’re a nerd,” I said. Gilda lifted a claw up and I pounded it with my fist. The others rolled their eyes.

“And we’re just about there,” Gourd said as the ship started slowing down. “I might be able to teleport Doppel down, but the naga would push my limits. Mysticism was always my weakest school.”

“Doppel can fly,” I said. “She’ll be fine. And the naga will survive a minute or two out here. It’s not that cold.”

He shrugged. “Just offering.”

“That said, you might have to teleport me back up. There’s a chance I’ll leave this party too drunk to fly.”

Gilda hopped up to slap me on the back. “I knew you still had it in you, lady or not!”

Spike scoffed. “Nav’s just an uppercase Lady, not a lowercase lady. Three bits says we can get her to strip down in the restaurant.”

“I’m game,” Kat immediately replied.

“Forcing her clothes off doesn’t count,” Gilda said. “But I’m in.”

Jesus, am I that much of a slut? “This is definitely going to be an interesting party,” I said.

“Wish I could go,” Gourd muttered again.

Cry more. “Learn how to eat meat,” I replied. He continued muttering quietly to himself. It can’t be that boring on the ship, geez.

The ship finally juddered to a halt. “We’re there,” Gourd said. “It’s too cold to be up here. I’m heading back down. Come get me when it’s time to go.”

“Thanks for the lift, Captain,” I said. He lifted a hoof in reply as he walked to the stairs. As soon as he got all the way down, Doppel and the naga joined us on deck. “We’re there, guys. Go ahead and throw the ladder down.”

Kat hopped over the rails to the lower deck and helped the naga lower the ladder. The two of them started descending the hard way. Gilda hopped to the lower deck and went into the ship. The rest of us went ahead and flew down.

I’m not really sure how they got permission to do this, but the restaurant we were in front of was the only building on that street not touching another building. Most of them were built in a neat row, all sharing walls. The one we were going to was painted dark red and styled like a gothic cathedral. It even had stained glass windows, though none of them had actual pictures on them. One doorman stood at the front. His eyes were closed, of course.

Once we hit the ground, I looked up to peek up Kat’s dress under the guise of making sure neither fell. She was wearing nothing under it, so I did my best to watch her carefully. In case she fell, of course.

Before either of them could get all the way down, Gilda joined us with three bulging bags. They clinked with every move she made. Spike took two of them and carefully hung them over his shoulders. As soon as they were ready, I walked over to the doorman, who was facing our group with what was probably curiosity, but it was hard to tell for sure because his eyes were fucking closed. When I got to him, he asked, “Do you have reservations?”

“We do,” I said with a nod. “Spike made them. It should be for six.”

“I made them in your name,” Spike quickly said. “This is Lady Navarone’s party.”

“Ah, yes. We’ve been expecting you.” The stallion stepped to the side and his horn lit up to open the door. We were instantly inundated with the scent of cooked meat. A few ponies passing by on the street quickened their paces and one slipped on a patch of ice in his haste. “Right this way, my lady.”

After checking to make sure we were all accounted for, I led the way into the den of meat. The smell instantly inundated me and at least one part of my body started leaking fluids. I wiped the drool away before anyone could notice and walked up to the hostess, a very cute female griffon.

“You must be Lady Navarone,” she said with a grin. “Your table should be ready momentarily. I understand you have a naga in your party?”

“Yep.” I looked back to the door, where he was just now sliding inside. It was just barely large enough to fit him. “That won’t be a problem, will it?”

“Not a problem, no. He’s just the first one I’ve ever seen come in as a patron. Ever since you reserved a table, we’ve been looking forward to serving such varied and traveled palates. If you have any single problem at all, let me or one of the other hosts know immediately and if you have any suggestions for our chefs, please do the same.”

“Of course.” I guess seeing six out of seven continents kinda does make someone traveled. Though they’ll probably be disappointed in how shitty my palate is.

She made a sound that almost sound like a squee before saying, “We’re gonna learn so much about such exotic diets!”

Alrighty then. I guess we’re a science project now. She rushed off to check on our table, so I turned to my group. They were all looking around, trying to get a mood for the place. We could hear echoes of conversation around us, but there was a wall blocking the actual dining hall.

With the hostess having left, it was just us. Her actual interest in us made me feel like I didn’t want to fuck things up too bad. “I know it’s a lot to ask and I’m not expecting much, but can you guys keep it cool tonight? This is my first outing as a lady and it might be wise to contain ourselves somewhat.”

“Nah, fuck that,” Gilda immediately said.

“You raise a very good point,” I replied. “Let’s have fun tonight.” Spike gently pushed me and Gilda carefully punched my arm. I kinda hoped the other adults of the group might rein me in, but I wouldn’t be too disappointed if they didn’t.

The cute hostess came back before any of them could and said, “Right this way, Lady Navarone.” We all started following as she finally led the way into the actual restaurant.

There were a surprising number of pony only groups in attendance. Given that the salad bar stretched from one end of the restaurant to the other and had tons of stuff that wasn’t actually salad, I could understand that. A few other groups just had token griffins or dogs. One group was just heavily armored dogs. One with a halberd at his side lifted a mug in my direction before downing its contents. A few griffins and unicorns walked from table to table with skewers of meat, cutting off slices for whoever wanted what they had.

The entire place was decked out in dark red colors, probably to disguise any blood that dripped onto the floor from an extra rare dish. All the lights were fairly dim, presumably to add to the whole romantic aspect, even though I think there was only one couple there at the moment, a gay griffin and earth pony mix.

The hostess led us to one of the far corners, a place that was almost completely in the shadows. Everyone in our group could see pretty well in the dark, so that didn’t mean much to us. The entire table was surrounded by a large semi-circular booth. I wasn’t really sure how she was expecting the naga to sit, but he answered that by taking up the one part of the table that didn’t have a booth.

Apparently since I’m the fancy noble who everyone was supposed to protect, I got shoved into the middle, right between Spike and Kat. Gilda and Doppel got the outer layers, because they’re lucky. Not even two seconds after we sat down, a griffin approached us with a huge hunk of meat and a smile on his face.

That set the pace for the night. Various servers with various types of meat stopped by almost constantly to shove stuff on our plates. It was great.

What little I remember of the party was fun. Most of us ate way too much meat and Doppel ate me out under the table to get her fill of lust. All of us except for Kat drank way too much mead. I blacked out shortly after the first bottle, because I’m incredibly skinny and out of practice.

Apparently I ordered Kat to make sure the naga didn’t do anything he’d regret. Doppel passed out. Gilda carried her and Spike carried me back to the ship, since apparently I was too fucked up to climb a ladder or fly.

Kat refuses to tell me what the naga did. I considered ordering her to, but decided against it.

All things told, I considered it about as much of a trainwreck as I thought it would be. So basically, totally worth it.