Flash Sentry, just like every good guard, believed that teamwork was the key to success. Thus, he’d often organise various team-building exercises which his subordinates took with varying degrees of enthusiasm.

Sunday friendly tournaments of rugby were usually a great success and this one was no different. Currently, the 3rd Company of the Crystal Guard was leading in a game against the 24th Scouting Detachment by two points, five broken teeth, and one kick to the family jewels.

“Watch out!” Rough Diamond exclaimed, knocking Pristine Emerald off his hooves. Crystal Empire was small; despite being a filly-in-waiting, Rough was still training with the 3rd Company and would never miss a traditional Sunday game. Pristine Emerald, who was currently trying to get out of a puddle of mud, had quite a different opinion.

“What’s wrong with you today!?” Rough Diamond exclaimed. “You move like my granny. And I mean the dead one.”

“Precious Gem,” Pristine Emerald muttered.

“Say no more.” Rough Diamond chuckled watching as Flash tried to somehow control the game which currently turned into a fight after one of the Crystal guards mentioned in passing that all scouts were sodomites. “So, are you still trying to pull off the Shining Armor?”

Pristine Emerald rubbed his temples. “What does the Prince have to do with that?”

Rough Diamond rolled her eyes. “He became a prince because he banged the Princess, simple as that. They say there were only two stallions who did that, him and Captain Sentry.”

Pristine Emerald looked at Flash. “But Captain Sentry is not a prince.”

Rough Diamond made a suggestive move with her hips. “Well, he doesn’t look like he banged anything, does he? Or maybe he was afraid to bang Shining Armor’s sister. We may never know.”

“Shh…” Pristine Emerald looked around. “You’re talking about royalty.”

“And yet, I’m still closer to banging Flurry than you are.” Rough Diamond shrugged. “I mean, I’m not interested, but if I were, it wouldn’t be a problem.”

Pristine Emerald furrowed his eyebrows. “Are you gay?”

Rough Diamond smirked. “No more than the 24th Scouting Detachment…”

Flurry sat in the classroom. She could hear the guards playing rugby, but for some reason, Sunburst called her there for some special classes. When she showed up, she saw that he decided to get rid of his robe. He also combed his mane and beard.

Flurry furrowed her eyebrows. “So, what is this class about?” she asked. “It’s Sunday.”

“Mammals,” Sunburst replied. “I think you need to know more about them.”

“Well, we ain’t nothing but them,” Flurry said. “Do you want to show me some mammalian habits?”

“We are nothing but mammals.” Sunburst smirked. “Speak like a princess should or you’ll get punished… in quite an unladylike way.”

Flurry lay back in her seat. “Well, you can punish me however you want…”

“Now we’re talking.” Sunburst nodded and stood up. “Now, if you’d like to turn around and raise your tail…”

“Aaargh!” Flurry screamed, her eyes shooting open. She looked around, finding herself on the fainting couch. She could still hear the guards playing rugby, but Sunburst was nowhere to be seen.

“Stupid dream,” she muttered to herself.

“We thought it was quite amusing.”

Flurry groaned. “Auntie Luna? Holy shit…” She blushed. “I mean–”

Luna stood by the fainting couch. “Don’t worry, young one. Your reaction to us appearing is not the worst we’ve encountered. For example, Flash Sentry tried to stab me with a spear. At least we were in a dream, but it was still strange.”

“Yeah, he got a bit nervous recently,” Flurry muttered.

“Not as much as poor Sunburst.” Luna smirked. “First time I saw him looking that good.”

Flurry blushed even more. “Wait, aren’t you, like, retired? And this was my dream…”

“Not yet. Also, well, dreamwalking is not something you can retire from,” Luna replied. “Also, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. If you wish to wake up and touch yourself, I won’t be watching you.”

“I’m not touching myself!” Flurry exclaimed.

Luna nodded and sat on the couch next to Flurry. “Surely. And having a crush on your teacher is nothing wrong. When we were young, Celestia and I had a crush on Starswirl, you know…”

Flurry raised her eyebrows. “But he’s old and smells of piss!”

“He wasn’t that old back then,” Luna replied. “We were trying different things and I must admit that I was defeated. Celestia managed to bed him first.”

“And how was it?” Flurry asked.

Luna chuckled. “She said he was old and smelled of piss, so the joke's on her.”

“Eww!” Flurry exclaimed. “Now you ruined the whole mood.”

“I can bring Sunburst back if you want,” Luna said. “Or maybe someone else. I noticed that Ed Sheepran is all the rage as of late, if you know what I mean.”

Flurry shuddered in horror. “How about no?”

“Well, colts seem to be into Songbird Serenade.” Luna shrugged. “As young ponies say, whatever floats your boat.”

“Isn’t she old enough to be my mother?” Flurry asked. “And I’m not into mares.”

“Well, colts like different things,” Luna replied. “Also, we do recall that dream about Rough Diamond a few days ago… Truly, she lives up to her name.”

“Auntie!” Flurry exclaimed.

“Alright, we get it,” Luna said. “You want to keep your teenage angst to yourself. Remember where it got me.”

“Eh, my mom and auntie Twilight wouldn’t send me to the Moon,” Flurry said. “Though I wonder where they’d send me.”

“Hopefully to some nice stallion.” Luna winked and disappeared.

Flurry woke up again and looked around. She was alone in her room, lying on her bed with her legs and wings at strange angles. She stretched her muscles, hearing the joints pop and levitated a bottle of lube from under her bed.

“Ed Sheepran, huh?” she muttered to herself with a smirk.

Sunburst looked around. Given that he was in an empty corridor, this seemed like being overly cautious, but due to the tragic irony of his situation, this was the only right thing to do. Princess Cadance gave him a mission to protect Flurry Heart but, as it turned out, the young princess’ crush was nopony else but Sunburst himself.

This had its good and bad sides. The good side was that he definitely knew better than to break Flurry’s heart. The bad side, however, was that nopony in the Empire knew that Sunburst knew better than that. Which, in turn, made him a likely target of Cadance’s wrath.

Sunburst shuddered, realising that at some point he’d have to tell Flurry Heart that having a crush on him wasn’t the best idea. Not only because he was decades older than her, but also because if her parents found out, his life wouldn’t be worth a hair from Starswirl’s gnarly beard.

He looked around again. While there were no mute, masked ponies surrounding him to strangle him with a piano string and bury his body in the snow for the future generations to find and put in a museum, next to the artifacts from the lost kingdoms of Chalcedonya and Crystalia, he still felt rather uncomfortable. Like that one time when he was ten and Starlight found out–

“Hey, mage!”

Sunburst gasped, turning around and getting tangled in his robe. He collapsed in front of the pony who called him – who was no one else but Flash Sentry himself.

“Don’t call me ‘mage’,” Sunburst muttered, getting up and trying to look as dignified as he could.

“Whatever, mage,” Flash replied. “The princess wants to see you.”

Sunburst froze. “I don’t think we should see each other right now,” he said.

“Why so?” Flash asked.

“Well, she’s a bit, uhh… emotional and not in the right state of mind, I guess,” Sunburst replied, carefully weighing every word. “I’m not sure how would she react to seeing me. Last time we met, well, I don’t think she was aware of what she was doing and–”

Flash furrowed his eyebrows. “Are we talking about the same princess or are you banging Cadance too?”

“Ah, so it’s Cadance who wants to see me!” Sunburst exclaimed, slapping his forehead in an exaggerated fashion. “Of course, whoever else.” He looked at Flash. “Wait, what do you mean by ‘too’?”

“You know what I mean,” Flash replied. “Same with Pristine Emerald. I’m watching both of you...”

“That’s fine, I guess?” Sunburst shrugged. “I’ll better get to the princess, then.” He shuddered and ran down the corridor, leaving Flash behind.

Flash nodded. “Something fishy’s going on…”

Sunburst was on the verge of passing out when he reached Cadance’s office. He dropped on the plush couch and tried to stop himself from hyperventilating. Cadance looked at him and raised her eyebrows. “Do you want some tea?” she asked.

“Sure, why not,” Sunburst muttered. “I mean… Sure, why not, Your Highness.”

Cadance chuckled and levitated a cup towards him. He took a sip, nearly burning his mouth.

“That’s a w-wonderful tea, Your Highness,” Sunburst said. “What’s in it?”

“Cyanide,” Cadance replied.

Sunburst clutched to his chest, trying to catch a breath. He rolled off the coach and dropped on the floor, spitting the tea.

“Don’t worry, it’s just almonds,” Cadance said. “You looked so stressed that I just wanted to make a little joke to ease up the tension.”

“You all will kill me with your jokes,” Sunburst whispered under his breath and stood up. “I believe you didn’t call me here to prank me, Your Highness?”

“Of course not,” Cadance replied. “It’s about Flurry.”

Sunburst froze. “Well, actually–”

“We’re going to visit Twilight in Ponyville soon,” Cadance said. “I thought it’d be a great occasion to introduce Flurry to its citizens. Could you write a speech for her?”

“Wha–” Sunburst trembled. “A speech? S-sure, no problem. I have a lot of experience in speaking writes… I mean, writing speeches. Yes, speech. I’ll do that. I can speak, right?”

Cadance chuckled. “Great. I knew I could count on you.” She patted Sunburst’s head. “Hope your task goes as well as Flash’s mission.”

“Does he have to write a speech too?” Sunburst asked.

“Nah, he’s just escorting Flurry to Manehattan so she can get a new dress,” Cadance replied, smiling. “Shining told me he was very enthusiastic.”

“No way I’m going to Manehattan with Flurry!” Flash exclaimed. “It’s a big, dangerous town! Ponies get raped at every corner!”

Shining Armor raised his eyebrows in a surprisingly royal, commanding way. Ponies often considered him a bit stupid—given that his wife, sister, and daughter were all alicorns, the bar for him was always set high—but once he got into his royal mode, everyone immediately remembered that he could shield the entire Canterlot with his magic and his role in defeating King Sombra. “Well, I’d say that’s the primary reason you’re going there. She needs a bodyguard.”

“Well, maybe it’s not as dangerous…” Flash smiled sheepishly. “Also, she’s an alicorn. She can probably throw a building at a mugger or something…”

“The thing is, we don’t want her to throw a building at anyone,” Shining replied. “Too much cleaning, press going crazy... Not to mention the ponies in that thrown building. Besides, she’s supposed to go incognito, disguise and everything, with you as her uncle.”

“I still don’t think it’s a good idea,” Flash said. “Aren’t you a prince or something? We could just tell Rarity to come here and–”

Shining raised his hoof. “Flurry really wanted to go. She gets bored in this palace. Also, it won’t be that bad. Rough Diamond is going with you.”

“Oh, great.” Flash rolled his eyes. “Did I tell you about the conspiracy? I’m pretty sure she’s a part of it too.”

“You did. Twice,” Shining sighed. “I already told you that Precious Gem is not the best source of information. Unless you’re looking for facts about snails.”

“I’m still gathering evidence,” Flash said. “Also, there was an attempt on my life.”

“Great.” Shining smirked. “Gather some while you’re in Manehattan. And stop scaring Pristine Emerald. His parents complained.”

Now it was Flash’s turn to raise his eyebrows. “His parents? What kind of a guard is he?”

“A guard who has a bad case of awfully rich, annoying parents,” Shining replied. “I told them that they can’t have your head on a silver platter and since they insisted, I'm afraid I lost it for a moment and mentioned that we may reassign Pristine Emerald to Chalcedonya, guarding the glaciers and showing lost yaks the way. Needless to say, our approval rating among the nobles dropped considerably.”

“Not like it stopped us before,” Flash said.

“I may still reconsider their offer,” Shining replied, casually levitating an old battle axe and a sharpening stone. “So, are you going to Manehattan?”

Flash gave the axe a very long look. “Sure thing.”

“Good.” Shining threw the axe away; it bounced off the wall, its handle snapping in two. “Pack your bags, then!”

Author's Notes:

Manehattan, here we come...

Fun fact: the last of my fics set in Manehattan was Elektrichka, published in November 2014. Since then we did leave Ponyville, usually ending up in Canterlot (Moonwing, Stick a Pin in It, Hard Knocks and Kirin Poetry, but also McColts' fort (Outside), Frozen North (Six Mares Sit in the Cabin and Nothing Happens), Rockville (Limelight) and pretty much everywhere, including outer space (Minuette, Part II: Mummies, Tentacles, and Shit)