The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy contains an entry on the subject of the origins of the Universe. It says this: In the beginning, there was nothing. Then, for no apparent reason, the nothing exploded. It became something, and expanded rapidly, and so the Universe was created. Deal with it.

There have been many attempts to find where the Universe came from throughout history. A viable theory was first suggested by scientists from a small planet orbiting a blue star billions of years ago, which was so boring and desolate the only real thing to do was stare up at the sky at night and say, "Well, I wonder where all this stuff came from?" In fact, they had formulated ideas for the beginnings of the Universe even before they had invented fire, and problems such as Cogito ergo sum and P=NP had already been solved even before the wheel.

Sadly, the planet's inhabitants died from a total lack of agriculture, government, or economy before they could tell anyone about their amazing discoveries, and so the idea was lost forever. This, of course, led to what we know to day as "religion" to fill in the gaps of exactly how the hell we got here.

Many theories have been purported, often concerning a great heavenly Father or Mother appearing and conjuring up the Universe to be exactly perfect for His or Her creations. Of course, on most planets once astronomers start to figure out the beings of that planet aren't all that special, and really, they're living in a cold, lonely universe devoid of any love, affection or care for them, those astronomers get burned. Or shot. Or stabbed. Or mutilated, or some combination of those things, until after a while people get bored of burning, shooting, stabbing, and mutilating them, and actually start listening to them.

Equestrian mythology, however, is anomalous in that it never really had an opinion on where the Universe actually came from. While such great philosophers as Star-Swirl the Bearded and his student, Clover the Clever, have dabbled in theories as to where it all came from, the general agreement was that the Sun came up every day because of Princess Celestia, and the Moon came up every night because of Luna, and the stars were just there because they felt like it. In fact, it was not for thousands of years that someone even considered that the Sun might also be a star. This idea was eventually accepted by the Royal Equestrian Society of Science and Exploration, after much peer-review, but still nobody thought to question as to where the stars actually came from.

Equestria already knew what it wanted to know, which was, where did the place they live come from? And that was answered by the Princesses Celestia and Luna, who had, allegedly, used their powerful "magic" to build, from scratch, plentiful land that could be shared by all. And they would be correct, the immense powers they had did allow them to rid the world of disharmony and enjoy a wonderfully utopian, laissez-faire society, loosely united under the royal flag. For the most part, the nation of Equestria was in charge of weather and other environmental needs around the planet Equestria, but other races and species were given enough land on which to live. In fact, Equestria was, politically speaking, one of the most stable planets ever.

But it was not to last. Unbeknownst to everyone on the planet except the Princesses, the magic-sphere covering the entire planet, which gave them their extraordinary abilities, was also the thing that held the planet together. Ancient legends and myths foretold that, inevitably, the magic would "run out", and the entire planet would, inevitably, lose stability, and shatter away into atoms.

Much to our heroes' displeasure, this has happened rather early, and now Equestria has been destroyed, along with every race that lived upon it. This is rather inconvenient to their interests at present, as one can imagine, and two of them are currently drifting through space in an ancient and remarkable time-travel machine known as a TARDIS. They are currently being escorted to the main control room.

"Derpy Hooves!" Pinkie Pie said, as she walked with her down the long, dim corridors, along with her friend, Fluttershy. "Fancy meeting you all the way out here!"
"I'm just as surprised as you," the grey, yellow-maned, cross-eyed pegasus replied. "And I thought I was the only pony that had ever been off the planet Equestria."
"You were, until recently," Pinkie Pie said, vaguely, so as not to alert her acquaintance to the fact her home was now atoms.

"Why, did you meet a Time Lord as well?"
"No, certainly not. We kinda...hitched a ride."
"I didn't even know you could do that," Derpy pondered.
"Yeah, neither did I."

"What's a Time Lord?" Fluttershy asked, quietly.
"Well then how'd you get here?" Derpy asked, ignoring Fluttershy's question.
Pinkie Pie responded by pulling a small black rod out of her saddlebag. "With this thing," she said. "It's an electronic thumb. Of course, I don't have any thumbs, so it's all metaphorical and stuff."

"Excuse me, what's a Time Lord?" Fluttershy asked again, softly.
"What are thumbs?" Derpy asked.
"Um, it's hard to explain," Pinkie said, succinctly. "But, basically, the device transfers matter via the Sub-Etha waveband and allows anything into ships."
"Does it work like a sonic screwdriver?" Derpy asked, pushing the metallic cigar-shaped object that had been tucked behind her ear into her mouth, and pressing a button on it with her teeth. A wall panel exploded. "Oopsie."

"No, not really," Pinkie Pie said. "It's just used for matter transfer, not for screwing screws in."
"This does way more than that!" Derpy chortled. "You should see The Doctor using it, oh, he's amazing."
"The Doctor?" Pinkie Pie said. "Doctor who?"

"I don't know, he just calls himself 'The Doctor'. He says he's a 'Time Lord', like, an alien."
"Can somepony tell me what a Time Lord is?" Fluttershy asked, quietly.
"An alien? What, like a big, green monster, with tentacles? Or an evil killing machine bent on exterminating everypony?"

"No, no, he looks just like a stallion, except he has two hearts."
"What's a Time Lord?"
"He sounds interesting."
"What is a Time Lord?!" Fluttershy said, not so much in a shout, but more in an assertive whisper.

"Now that you mention it, I think the Guide mentions Time Lords," Pinkie Pie said. She took The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy out of her saddlebag, and passed it over to Fluttershy. Fluttershy turned it over in her hooves.
"Don't Panic," Fluttershy read. "That's the best thing anypony has said to me all day."
"Yeah, poor Fluttershy isn't having a good day. Her hen house has been demolished and now her planet's – " Pinkie Pie was shut up by her own hoof. Derpy Hooves looked at her, and then carried on.

"How do I use this thing?" Fluttershy asked.
"Oh, just say 'Time Lords', it'll come up," Pinkie Pie replied. "Say, does this thing, what do you call it, 'TARDIS' have a fridge?"
"Sure does," Derpy said. "But I emptied it."

The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about Time Lords: They were one of the most important races in the history of the Universe. They were also total and utter bastards. They were important because they invented the first time-travel engines, and used them to keep all of time flowing correctly. They had direct access to the barrier between cause and effect, time itself, a swirling mass of happenings and history known as the "Time Vortex".

The Time Vortex formed very integral parts of Time Lord society, in fact, people often invited it around to dinner to hear its fascinating tales of "RUM-TUM-TUM-TUM, RUM-TUM-TUM-TUM, RUM-TUM-TUM-TUM, RUM-TUM-TUM-TUM," and so on. A form of initiation for young Time Lords involved staring into the unending eternity of the "Untempered Schism", rather uncannily similar to the Total Perspective Vortex, without all the insanity-causing horror. Except, of course, the insanity-causing horror of it drove many insane. "In retrospect," one Time Lord official said, "That whole 'Untempered Schism' thing was rather stupid."

The Time Lords have also gone down as the biggest bastards in history, tieing for first place with their arch-enemies, The Daleks. The reason for this being that the two factions had a massive war throughout all of time and space that killed decatillions of people. But that's not the thing that makes them bastards. No, due to the fact that it was a Time War, it took place all over time and space. This includes inside The Guide's offices, which were utterly trashed by blasts resulting from badly-placed explosive devices and death rays. Several aspiring hitchhikers were exterminated in the crossfire during a particularly fierce battle. And to make it worse, the insurance didn't cover Time War-related damage, so the building had to be repaired by docking pay. In short, the Time Lords are total and utter bastards.

Eventually, the War was finally ended by the near-total extermination of both the Daleks and the Time Lords, with few survivors. The Daleks are still considered "bastards" by The Guide staff's standards, but the surviving Time Lords – or rather, Time Lord, is quite a nice bloke. If you happen to meet him, try to befriend him, and he'll drop you wherever you need to go, and if you're especially nice to him, he'll leave you with a packet of jelly babies as well.

Fluttershy put The Guide back into its cover, looking at the cover again, at those large, friendly letters. Don't Panic. Being as panic was all she had done for most of her life, those words offered a bit of comfort somewhat, especially as she was now aware of the worrying idea almost every one of her friends was dead aside from Pinkie Pie, who wasn't even Equestrian.

"Right this way," Derpy called out, the sonic screwdriver now tucked behind her ear again.
Nobody really knew why Derpy Hooves was named that. She stated on numerous occasions that her birth certificate gave her name as "Ditzy Doo", though she didn't mind being called "Derpy", seeing it as an affectionate nickname. Most people back home thought she was stupid, due to her expression and high-pitched voice. As a matter of fact, Ditzy Doo was actually reasonably intelligent, although she was very clumsy. Pinkie Pie sympathised with her. Being totally alien to the Universe itself, she had felt like somewhat of an outcast sometimes, as well.

Derpy reached a door, which appeared to be sealed shut. She pressed a few buttons on the panel next to it, and the door proceeded to jam.
"This happens a lot," Derpy assured the other two. "Just a second."
She took the sonic screwdriver from behind her ear and placed it back in her mouth, and then pushed the button on the side a few times with her teeth. The panel exploded into sparks.
"Why does that always happen?" she asked. She bit down on it again, and the door came open with a whoosh.

"I'm glad I found you," said Derpy. "This ship is really big. It's easy to get lost down there."
"So, where's this 'Doctor' guy, anyway?" Pinkie Pie asked.
"Right this way," said Derpy, leading on.
She turned a corner and up some stairs.

What Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy saw next was amazing. A massive, dome-shaped room covered in lights just like the ones down in the corridors, with organic-looking coral reaching up towards the ceiling. A quiet, ethereal humming could be heard from deep under the center of the room, almost like breathing. Above the discernible source from which the sound was coming was a great organic-looking control panel, with a massive column in the centre, glowing mint-green, moving up and down slowly.

Resting on a seat attached to a railing was a young-looking stallion wearing a spotted tie and a collar. He was gripping a copy of a newspaper known as The Equestria Weekly in his front ankles. The headline read, "RAINBOW FACTORY CLOSED DOWN AFTER FOAL ABUSE INVESTIGATION". He appeared to be doing a crossword puzzle.

"Let's see," he mumbled. "Very sad unfinished story about rising smoke, eight letters." he pondered for half a second. "'Tragical'", he said, as he wrote it in with his mouth.
"Doctor?" asked Derpy.
"Oh, Derpy, so you've found the two stowaways, then?"
"Sure have!"

The Doctor stood up. He had a brown coat, with blue eyes and a dark, spiked mane. He had an hourglass on his flank. Then he stood back in shock.
"Pinkie Pie?!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"
Pinkie Pie was taken aback.

"What do you mean?" she asked. "This is the first time we've met, isn't it?"
"No, well, yes, in your timeline, but not in – look, I can't tell you too much, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to meet you. Or rather, I have already. But you haven't."
"Right..." Pinkie Pie said. "Um, that's good to know."

"Yes, sorry about that," he stammered. "I'm the Doctor." he held out a hoof, and Pinkie lightly took it in her own 'wrist' and shook it. The Doctor did the same to Fluttershy, who fearfully reached out and shook it as well. He spoke in an accent that would be comparable to Estuary English, if the Thames Estuary hadn't been evaporated.

"So, how did you get on board the TARDIS?" the Doctor asked, twiddling a few knobs and pushing a few buttons on the control panel.
"Basic Sub-Etha transfer, right, Fluttershy?"
Fluttershy was biting nervously at her hooves. "He's...an alien?"

"Oi!" the Doctor said. "I take offence to that, I prefer the phrase 'Non-Equestrian Being'."
"Sorry," Fluttershy said, quietly. "It's just that I'm really confused right now, and – "
"What's wrong with her?" Derpy asked.
"Oh, you know, just getting her space legs," replied Pinkie, as she noticed Fluttershy's knees about to wobble. "I think she's about to faint."
There was a soft thump as Fluttershy fell over. "Yes, yes she is."

The Doctor ran over to help her, taking the sonic screwdriver from behind Derpy's ear. He buzzed it over Fluttershy's body.
"Pulse normal. She'll be fine," he said, following up with, "Right, so let me get this straight, we were flying through space and time and you just happened to land here in the TARDIS"?

"That's what I'm saying," affirmed Pinkie Pie.
"But a Sub-Etha waveband shouldn't be able to reach into a hole in time and space, unless – " The Doctor mumbled, pressing a few more buttons on the TARDIS control panel and looking at the screen. " – unless you somehow opened a wormhole in the fabric of space and time. But the likelihood of that happening is – well, almost impossible."
"Almost," Pinkie Pie affirmed.

Rainbow Dash woke up feeling groggy. Her head was spinning. She remembered vaguely, she had the worst nightmare. The world ended, and everypony she knew was killed. Still, only a dream, right? She tried to stand up, and found herself suddenly standing on her hind legs. That's odd, she thought, as she ran a hoof through her mane.

And then she looked down at where her hoof was supposed to be. In place of it was a pale, fleshy thing with five appendages sticking out of it. She did what anyone else would do in this kind of situation – she screamed.
"What the hay is that?!" she cried, waving it about in disgust.

She suddenly became aware that her hind legs and what had been her flank were now covered in some kind of heavy, bluish fabric, and that she was wearing some kind of covering on what had once been her barrel and withers. She also became frighteningly aware she had two swellings on what had once been her barrel, just below her withers. As she studied the pale fleshy thing now attached to her front leg, she noticed that the ends of the appendages had miniature hooves, which were all a pale blue colour, much like her coat.

"What?! What?! What?! What?! WHAT?!" was all she could repeat. She looked at her back. To her absolute horror, her wings were gone. "No, no, no, this can't be good," she said. She collapsed back down onto what had once been her rump and noticed that, on what had once been her back hooves, and were now some other horrible fleshy appendage, she was wearing a pair of strange, hardened coverings, with rubber bottoms, and wings on the back.

She was relieved for a moment, until she became nauseatingly aware she could move the appendages inside the covering as well.
"Guys?!" she shouted. "Guys?! Help!"
There was no reply.

"Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh," she repeated, breathing deeply. "Okay. Right. Okay. So, this isn't normal. First, study my environment."
She looked at where she was, and was rather confused to find she was standing in a back-alleyway in Manehattan. She stood up, finding it surprisingly easy to walk on these strange new hind-legs, and exited the alleyway.

It was there that she saw it. It was horrible.
There were strange-looking creatures sitting all around, walking on their hind-legs, manipulating things with their strange front-leg-appendages. They had no coats, only manes on their heads. Their skin was fully visible. They were picking up things without the aid of magic, simply using their weird hoof-tentacles to wrap around things and pick things up. On the roads, rather than pulling carriages and wagons, their carriages and wagons were pulling them! And they made a low grumbling noise, like strange animals.

She looked at the sky. The clouds! They were moving! All by themselves! She tried to fly to correct the problem, but found that she couldn't. One of the strange wagons suddenly howled out, and one of the strange-looking creatures leaned out of it and yelled at another, then got back into his wagon and ran off.

"What is this place?" Rainbow Dash mumbled.
"Ah was just thinkin' the same thing," a familiar voice said. Rainbow Dash turned. Standing in a large hat, with a covering – Rarity would have called it plaid – over her barrel and a covering on her hind legs similar to her own, but much shorter, was Applejack. Applejack appeared to stand slightly taller than her, and her skin was a darker colour to hers.
"Oh boy, am I glad to see you!" Rainbow Dash said. "I don't like the feeling I'm getting from this place."

"Me neither," Applejack said. "It's all upside-down here. Ah tried walkin' on these legs," she said, nodding to what had been her front legs. "But mah hind legs were too long. They kept goin' all over the place. And then one of those...things, I think he was a guy, in a blue uniform came over and told me ah had to do 'expressive dance' in the park. Why, I coulda..." She rolled up her sleeve.

"So, we're stuck here?" Rainbow Dash said.
"Looks like it," replied Applejack. "Ah tell ya, ah had the weirdest dream, though – the whole world was endin'."
"No way, I had the same dream," Rainbow Dash exclaimed.
"Huh. Great minds think alike an' all that."
"So, what do we do now?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"Well, ah may be a weird brown thing now, but ah'm pretty sure ah still have a stomach," Applejack said. "Let's eat."

The Doctor was frantically trying to figure out where Pinkie Pie had come from.
"All right," he said. "So you're saying you, against all odds or logic, managed to tear a hole in the fabric of time and space itself for one second, and somehow ended up here?"
"Well, our other friends must have gone through, too, but ended up elsewhere," Pinkie Pie said.

"But, that's impossible, you can't have..." The Doctor said, before suddenly leaping up. He hit himself on the forehead with his hoof. "Of course!" he shouted. "Why didn't I think of that?!" He ran back over to the TARDIS screen and pressed a few buttons, causing symbols on it to rotate and change.

"Oh, how could I have been so stupid?" he said.
"What? What is it?" Pinkie Pie said, looking over at Fluttershy, who Derpy was tending to.
"That Sub-Etha, it's basic matter transference, right?"
"Right."
"Then, it seems that you've accidentally used the TARDIS as a kind of transmitter," he said. "You ended up here, and your friends have been broadcast throughout time and space. They could literally be anywhere, in any time period!"

"Oh my..." Fluttershy said, as Derpy handed her some water and a packet of jelly-babies to stop her fainting again.
"Then again, I have a time machine that can go anywhere, in any time period," The Doctor mused.
"I could try back-tracing the negative energetic residue they left as they were thrown out of the TARDIS."

"Do that," Pinkie Pie said.
"On it," the Doctor replied, pressing buttons.
Suddenly, the TARDIS began to jolt.
"Whoa!" he shouted. "That's not supposed to happen."

This was the last thing Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy heard before a massive explosion rocked the cabin.

Once again, there was nothing.

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