I woke up from my drunken stupor only to be knocked out again. All I saw was a flash of purple claws and a baseball bat.

     I awoke for a second time only to be knocked out once again. The bat connected with my head, my head connected with the floor, hasta luego.

     When I came to the third time I immediately put my hands up to defend myself but no bat came.

     WHAM

     A clawed foot connected with my head dazing me even more, and then there he was, standing atop my aching body, grabbing at my collar looking me dead in the eye. I’d seen the little guy following Twilight around…a lizard or something.

     “Wha…What I ever d-do to you lizard man?” I slurred stupidly.

     “Nothing, nothing at all…you only took the only thing I’ve ever wanted and ruined it!” he fumed.

     “Huh…?”

     “Shut the fuck up!” his voice was dripping with loathing. He smacked me upside the face.

     “Wha…?”

     “You dumbfuck,” he pulled my face so close our noses touched, his little reptile eyes drilling into my soul, “you get to home base with the most beautiful creature on the face of this world and then break her heart? I’ll kill you, you hear me? I’ll fucking kill you!”

     “What…?”

     “SAY ‘WHAT’ AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER I DARE YOU!”

     “What…”

     Aaaand he knocked me out again. That was how I met Spike.

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     When I finally came round my head was throbbing. I really had to do something or I had the feeling I would continue to get my ass kicked.

     It was early in the morning so I managed to sneak out of the bar, buy some flowers, and make my way to Rarity’s without being accosted. I knocked on the door. Moments later a bleary-looking Rarity answered the door. Her eyes immediately went wide and her unicorn horn glowed purple. A vase that had been resting above the hearth behind her became enveloped in the same purple glow and went hurtling towards my head I dodged but Rarity was quick, readjusting the trajectory of the vessel and bringing it round to smack me in the back of the head. She slammed the door shut.

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     The next day I returned with a dozen roses and box of chocolates. Vase.

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     Day Three: Vase

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     Day Four: HOW MANY VASES DOES THIS BITCH HAVE?