Everything hurt. Everything. And the exhaustion that had sunk its claws into her wasn’t helping.

Her head throbbed, pain pulsing through it in time with her heart, making thinking for too long or on anything complex a chore, and while her tears had dried up, her eyes still burned, sore and dry and gritty. Sunset gave up on focusing, letting the information come to her in a slow trickle instead—it hurt less when she did that.

She knew the arms clutched around her, the soft form pressed to her front. Only Twilight felt this way, smelled this way, the scent of honeysuckle from her body wash overlaying a mix of aged paper, faint chemicals, and ink, with that undertone of just Twilight. It was familiar, it belonged right where it was, and it helped to push back the spectre from her nightmare.

Sunset’s mind shied painfully away from the remnants of the nightmare, too emotionally wrung out to handle it right then. Her face nuzzled more firmly against her girlfriend’s neck, a shuddering breath filling her lungs as her burning eyes tried and failed to produce more tears. As a whimper escaped her, she felt the arms around her tighten, and the faint buzzing in her ears cleared slightly to let her hear Twilight murmuring reassurances close to her ear. The redhead sank into the touch and feel and sound, letting Twilight’s voice soothe her.

It helped to take the edge off the pain, gave her something to focus on besides how her throat felt raw and shredded, how every breath made her chest protest, how her very bones ached and burned. She hadn’t felt this awful in a long time, not since...

Since the formal.

Her eyes snapped open, her vision obscured by dark hair, and a tremor of fear went through her before she could stop it. The demon had been in her nightmares then too, and Sunset found she couldn’t breathe right. Why? Why now? What did it mean? Black spots danced at the edges of her vision, and that damnable voice, hers but all wrong, breathed in her ears.

“You were warned....”

Muscles screamed in agony as the former unicorn tensed up, on the verge of bolting, anything to escape her own thoughts...

“Shhh...Sunset, sweetie, you’re safe, I promise. Whatever you saw, it’s over now and you’re safe.” Warmth rubbed circles on her back as the gentle, motherly voice sliced through the haze, and she realized Velvet was there too, that it was the woman that she and Twilight were leaning against and not the pillows. The pressure on her chest relaxed and she could breathe again, gasping for a full breath and wincing when her ribs twinged in response.

The redhead winced when she lifted her head away from Twilight’s neck, the motion making her head swim and her stomach clench from both pain and dizziness. She went still again, hoping that it would help, and found herself looking into worried purple eyes. “Sunny?” Twilight murmured, her hand moving to rest on Sunset’s shoulder.

Her vision wavered—for a moment, she saw the deep void-like pits of emptiness overlaid on the familiar purple, could feel the echo of fingers digging into her throat. With a noise of terror, she jerked away from her girlfriend...only to realize a heartbeat later what a terrible idea that was. It felt like her head was about to split open, and her stomach gave a familiar lurch that made her push past the aches to dive half off the bed and grab for the trashcan by Twilight’s desk, just barely putting her face over it before her stomach turned itself inside out. Retching and heaving sent stabbing pains through her, and by the time it had passed, the former unicorn was convinced she’d managed to bruise her ribs from the inside.

Dimly, she felt a pressure around her torso that wasn’t from pain, realizing that Velvet’s arm had saved her from ending up face first on the floor, followed by a tug at her scalp that she identified as Twilight holding her hair back for her. Eventually, her body decided she’d had enough of that particularly foul punishment, leaving her even more sweat-soaked, shaky, and clammy on top of the pounding in her skull and the aching in her body. She spat, trying to get the taste of bile out of her mouth, groaning in disgust.

Velvet sat her back up slowly, before sliding off the bed herself. “Do you feel better or do you think you’re going to need this again, sweetie?” she asked, tapping at the edge of the trashcan.

Sunset had to try several times to get even soft words out of her throat, which felt even more like a wild cat had used it for a scratching post. “‘M done,” she finally rasped in a loud whisper.

With a sympathetic smile, Velvet took the container out of her hands, her eyes flicking over Sunset’s shoulder. “Twily, sweetheart, while I go take care of this, why don’t you help Sunset get a shower started?” The older woman tucked an errant lock of hair behind Sunset’s ear with her free hand. “There’s some water and some medicine for your head, Sunset. Take it if your stomach feels like it’ll keep it down, and go take a nice warm shower. It’ll help you feel better.”

Unable to argue, Sunset let Twilight give her the medicine and help her to her feet, still dizzy and slightly disoriented. The trek down the hall to the bathroom was a rough one, the trembling in her legs and the feeling of fire in her bones forcing her to stop every few steps to collect herself, leaning heavily in her girlfriend’s smaller form. Shadowed movement in the mirror right before Twilight flicked the light on made Sunset look away hurriedly, afraid of what her reflection would show. She braced her hands on the counter, looking down, her heart racing. If seeing flashes of the thing wearing Twilight’s face were bad, finding the demon looking back at her in the mirror would be a thousand times worse.

Still...she needed to know. Fingers gripping the counter so hard her knuckles whitened, she slowly raised her head, ignoring the faint sounds of Twilight starting the shower. Her heart pounded in her ears, each beat accompanied by a stab of agony in her brain, but she gritted her teeth and persisted through the pain, eyes taking in the t-shirt she’d fallen asleep in, the bare skin of her arms, and finally her face. Relief swelled in her when she saw her eyes were reddened from crying, and not the awful blue-green on black of the demon she feared.

Distantly, Sunset realized she looked awful, her shirt sweat-soaked and clinging to her body, her hair tangled and wild. Coupled with a reddened nose and eyes from crying, and how her skin was pale but for some odd patches on her neck...

It felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over Sunset as she took a closer look at her neck. The patches, which she’d taken to be dirt or shadow, seemed to be an angry red instead. Red...just like her skin had been after she’d put on the Crown of Magic. She forgot how to breathe, a hand shakily coming up to brush her neck, wincing when it turned out the skin was just as tender as her throat felt.

The rushing sound of the shower was nothing compared to the roaring in her ears, and between them, they drowned out everything else. Sunset wavered, and the warm hand that wrapped around her back was all that kept her upright. Her head jerked away from the mirror to meet Twilight’s eyes, managing to catch part of what she was saying. “....re okay to shower?”

Struggling a moment to reconstruct the rest of the question and failing, and with her throat still all sore and choked up, the former unicorn lifted one hand to offer a very deliberate thumbs up gesture. As bad as she felt right now, it would be a sunny day in Tartarus before she would be so pathetic as needing bathing assistance like a foal. She would manage.

Twilight started to nod at the gesture only to stop and reach out. “Sunny, are you okay? Did you hit your arm on something earlier?” Gentle fingers prodded at the flesh of Sunset’s elbow and forearm. “Your arm’s all red, and it looks like part of the red is turning into a bruise!”

Sunset turned her attention to where Twilight was looking, realizing that more of the reddened skin was on her arm....but also that her girlfriend had been right—bruises were faintly visible amid the red. She pulled her hand from her throat, and, now that she was looking for it, found the same thing there. The redhead gave Twilight what she hoped was a convincing and reassuring smile, before risking the movement to kiss her cheek.

Still looking unconvinced, Twilight let Sunset step out of her one armed hug, playing with some loose strands of dark hair. “If you’re sure...I’ll go get you some clean pajamas—you can just drop what you’re wearing into the dirty clothes hamper with mine, since I have to do laundry tomorrow anyways. I’ll put the clean ones on the counter for you, and I’ll be right outside the door in case you need me.” The younger girl started to turn to leave only to stop and look back. “....I’m really glad you’re doing better now, Sunset. I was scared for you...and...if you ever want to talk about it, I’m here to listen.” Then she was gone, shutting the door firmly behind her.

Exhaling slowly with a long drawn out sigh, Sunset began stripping out of her clammy, soaked clothes, doing as suggested and just dumping them in the nearly full bucket of dirty clothes. More red marks with faint bruising mottled her torso and hip, and she ran fingers over it worriedly. She hadn’t looked like that on Friday morning when she took a shower, and she didn’t remember the marks when she changed for gym. Had her nightmare and the reaction been that violent? She knew she’d been badly disoriented and loud—waking up to the lights on and the whole household in Twilight’s room had told her that. It was a sobering thought—she had never hurt herself in the throes of a nightmare before, not even when she was a foal and still unable to control her magic surges.

Shivering, the former unicorn stepped into the shower, placing herself directly under the heavy, hot spray, slumping against the shower wall and letting her eyes close. It helped to ease the pressure in her skull and the heat made the burning in her bones feel more like discomfort rather than outright pain...not to mention the water washing away sweat and grime and the lingering scent of vomit and fear.

Once she felt less like she was going to faint, Sunset’s mind turned back to the nightmare...and the fears it had stirred in her. Magic being in the human world—and in her, especially—meant that there was a chance that the demonic transformation that she’d undergone could happen again. It had happened once, after all, and her own recovery was an unprecedented feat. Demons didn’t just...get better and stop being demons, not in any of the accounts or texts she remembered seeing in Equestria. Of course, most of those texts didn’t mention that ponies or humans could turn into demons either. Only the ones in the restricted section of the palace archives mentioned such, and then only in the vaguest most limited sense. And none of those accounts had involved the Elements of Harmony and the Rainbow of Light. Sunset was in a unique position of having had her demonic nature cleansed...

And yet...as her mind drifted back to the formal, to the somewhat distorted memories from her time as a demon, to the strange white emptiness and the dry voice which were much clearer, to the shocking moment when she’d found herself falling from way too high up, something gnawed at her. Something about the way she’d fallen, trying in vain to slow her descent...

Blue-green eyes snapped open.

When she’d fallen, she’d tried to use her wings to slow her fall. She’d still been a demon after the Rainbow ended. Granted, she’d transformed back after a few seconds, but...

Her stomach twisted. The Elements had cleansed her, hadn’t they? She certainly didn’t feel the dark impulses governing her thoughts the way she had that fateful night. Sunset Shimmer was still fully in control....wasn’t she? A whimper escaped her, and her eyes ached with the want to cry again. She hugged herself with her arms, sinking to her knees and trembling as badly as if she’d been outside in the snow and not in a steam-filled shower. Part of her wished desperately for someone...anyone, even Princess Celestia to appear...just someone who could explain, who knew the answers she needed and didn’t have, so she could feel safe again...or if the news was bad, make it so she knew what to expect.

Something between a laugh and a sob croaked its way out of her throat. Is this why you kept things from me, Princess? Did you know all along what it would do to me? Was this why you said I wasn’t ready? Sunset stared into the steam curling around her body seeing the Solar Princess in her mind’s eye. Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you keep me if you knew I was going to be a monster all along?

Another choked off sob escaped her, thankfully drowned out by the running water, provoked by memories of the Princess of the Sun looking at her with an expression somewhere between regret, frustration, and worry every time her encouragement to make friends ended with Sunset angry and still alone or when Sunset pushed for more knowledge than what she’d been given. Or...was there a reason for my ignorance—did you think if I didn’t know, then maybe it wouldn’t happen? That you could help change it? Or did it just hurt you too, every time you failed, every step I took down the path that led to the formal? Is that why you sometimes looked at me with so much hurt?

A more painful thought edged in. Is that why you never adopted me?

Sunset hugged herself tighter, curling up into a near fetal position, resting her back against the shower wall. Her head fell forward to rest her forehead on her knees, wet hair falling around her face as she shook with rough, rasping sobs, her thoughts spiraling down a dark path. Is that why I never had a family—why I was in the woods alone in the first place, why you kept me close? Were my parents scared of me too? Am I even really a unicorn?

Her fingers dug into her arms, her head aching and spinning from question after question, doubt after doubt, all of them coalescing into one fear: was she truly free of the demon, or were the demon’s words in her nightmares more than just an overstressed subconscious, imparting a truth she couldn’t escape from?

Distantly, she heard a brief knock and then the door creaked open. “Sunny?” her girlfriend’s voice was tentative. “I have some clean pajamas for you. I’m going to put them on the counter.”

Croaking out something like a response, Sunset lifted her head off her knees to watch a dark blur through the distorted glass of the shower move around. Instead of leaving right away though, Twilight stepped close enough to put a hand on the shower door. “Sunset? Are you sure you’re okay?” Her voice was surprisingly soft, but the notes of worry in it were palpable.

Sunset opened her mouth to answer, but shut it again after a second or two, unable to give the real truth, but not wanting to lie to Twilight either. She reached up, still quiet, and placed her hand against the glass on the other side of Twilight’s, trying to communicate something she couldn’t figure out how to put into words.

After a minute without her responding, Twilight spoke again. “Sometimes, when I was little, before Doctor Soft-Spoken, I would get so anxious I couldn’t make words come out to tell people what was wrong. Too many things were happening in my brain and I couldn’t make it do words too. When that happened, Cadence would ask me yes or no questions and I would tap on her hand...once for no, twice for yes.” The other girl paused to let the information sink in, then asked, “Are you okay, Sunny?”

Slowly, Sunset curled her fingers and gave one very strong tap on the glass.

Twilight made a thoughtful sound. “Do you need physical help?”

Heat rushed to Sunset’s cheeks and she tapped the glass firmly again once.

“Oh good,” Twilight made a nervous sounding giggle. “I’m not sure I’d be ready to handle something like that without making a fool of myself—you already short circuit my brain when you kiss me the right way.”

Sunset snorted in response. It wasn’t a laugh, but there was amusement in it.

“It’s not funny—well, actually, I suppose it is. Twilight Sparkle, top student of CPA, having her brain completely shut down by being in close proximity to a pretty girl who isn’t trying to make her life a nightmare.” Twilight gave a small laugh. “Anyway...” she cleared her throat. “Do you want me to leave you alone right now? I know this is probably weird and maybe overstepping boundaries, but I really am worried about you, Sunset. You scared me when I couldn’t wake you up and you were screaming like that.”

She knew she’d screamed, that it had taken way more than normal to shed the nightmare, but Sunset hadn’t quite realized how bad it had been for Twilight. Suddenly, the clingy, anxious behavior made sense, and it took almost no thought to rap once on the glass. Twilight needed the reassurance...and so did she, she realized.

The sigh of relief on the other side of the shower door told her she’d made the right choice. “Do you want me to stay here, just in the room with you, until you’re ready to get out and dressed?”

Amber fingers double tapped quickly. Having Twilight nearby quieted the whispers of her (potentially literal) inner demons, giving her exhausted mind a break.

“I can do that...” Twilight perched herself nearby, keeping her hand on the glass. “And once you’re done, maybe we can go back to my room and eat ice cream and cuddle?”

Tap-tap. Sunset uncurled her body and stood. Curling up with Sparky under the blankets with a bowl of her favorite ice-cream sounded like the most amazing thing in the world, even knowing that it was Twilight’s way of inviting her to talk about her nightmare. More than anything, the act of doing something familiar with Twilight would help to push back the horrible vision that lurked at the edges of her thoughts, of the sadistic not-Twilight with those empty eyes.

“It's an ice-cream date then,” the younger teen told her. “Did you want me to be quiet while you shower?”

Silence meant she could hear her own thoughts again. Maybe it was a coward's choice, but Sunset tapped the glass once, harder than she probably should have. Talk to me, Sparky, please.

There was a long moment of quiet, almost too long, before her girlfriend spoke again. “I can understand. Sometimes silence can be deafening, especially if it isn’t quiet inside yourself.” Sunset could imagine her biting her lip as she started washing her hair, and it gave her that squirmy sensation in her stomach when Twilight asked, “Does it matter what I talk about?”

Tap went sudsy fingers on the glass, the redhead scrunching her eyes shut to avoid getting soap in them. Just Twilight’s voice was enough to keep everything at bay.

“Okay...when I’m trying to clear my head, I like to think about stars. Names, sizes, distance from us, what constellations they are part of...they have nice, neat patterns and even anomalies have scientific explanations. It was one of my first fields of study because of my dad.” Twilight fell into the informative “Teacher Twilight” mode in moments. “I don’t know if you have a favorite constellation, but I do...”

Sunset let the words wash over her as she rinsed shampoo from her hair, listening in a sort of detached manner as Twilight talked about the stars. She could feel the tension draining out of her, muscles unknotting with every fact or story that filled the air. She scrubbed her body to an explanation about the myth of Orion and Scorpio, washed her face to the legend of Ursa Major—that had been an interesting story and given the presence of Ursas in Equestria, she wondered how much of it had connection to her homeworld—and rinsed away the last of the soap to a story about the constellation Pegasus (which was another oddity she would have to research in the future).

She rested her hand on the glass again, tap-tap-tapping to interrupt Twilight’s latest constellation breakdown...but only after standing there, still dripping, with the water turned off, had started to make her shiver. Her girlfriend, broken out of the zone of lecturing about a favorite subject, halted oddly and was silent for a few seconds before her brain reengaged with reality. “Oh! You’re done! I’m sorry, Sunny, I didn’t hear the water turn off. I’ll go get our ice cream while you get dressed. See you in a few minutes in my room?”

Sunset smiled softly and tapped twice on the glass. She probably could have spoken this time, as the steam in the shower had helped her throat feel less raw and sore, and her mind was quiet for now, but she didn’t want to break the moment they were having just yet. Speaking meant stepping out of the soft, warm, emotionally connected bubble they were in, and as selfish as it was, the former unicorn just wanted to feel this way a little longer.

Once Twilight had slipped out and shut the door behind her, Sunset exited the shower, eager to dry off and get dressed before she froze. It may have been relatively warm in the house, but it was still winter, and far colder than she really wanted to be standing around in with a furless body. Times like this seriously made her miss her winter coat, since she had always grown a particularly thick and fluffy one.

It wasn’t more than a few minutes later that she was creeping quietly back down the hall to Twilight’s room, though the faint, hushed sound of conversation from downstairs suggested the adults were all still awake. Entering the bedroom, she realized someone—probably Velvet—had changed the sheets and sprayed some sort of lightly scented air freshener to eliminate the smell of sweat and sick, replacing those odors with a vaguely floral one. Lavender, she thought, giving a second sniff. Lavender and something else she wasn’t quite sure of. She was alone for the moment, and she curled up on her side of the bed, snagging her girlfriend’s pillow and hugging it, pressing her face to the pillowcase to see if she could catch a hint of Twilight’s scent.

Sunset was still hugging the pillow when Twilight came back a few minutes later, holding two bowls. The redhead set the pillow down and gave a small smile. “Hey...” she croaked, breaking her silence and wincing at how rough her voice sounded.

The other girl passed Sunset one of the bowls and joined her on the bed, scooting until she was pressed against Sunset’s side. “Is this okay?”

Nodding, Sunset dug into her ice cream. She figured that Twilight wouldn’t try to ask too much while they were indulging in the treat, and she wasn’t sure what to tell her about the nightmare yet....or if she was even ready to talk about it. Savoring the sweet taste of her favorite chocolate laden ice cream, she snuggled closer to her girlfriend, feeling a pleasant, comforting warmth where their bodies touched.

For a while, the only sound in the room was the scraping of spoons against the plastic bowls. Twilight hadn’t yet prodded her to speak, and Sunset slowed her consumption of her ice cream, trying to put off talking. She could feel purple eyes watching her as she finally set the bowl down on the nightstand, and the redheaded teen braced herself for the inevitable questions...

So it was to her great surprise when her girlfriend tugged her down under the covers instead, brushing their lips together in a gentle kiss. “Cuddle me?” Twilight asked, slipping arms around her in a tight hug.

There was no need for her to ask twice. Sunset adjusted how she was stretched out, before pulling the smaller form into her arms and nuzzling against a lavender neck, pressing the occasional kiss to the warm skin. She could feel fingers running through her hair, scratching lightly against her scalp, could feel the way Twilight melted against her.

Lips tickled her ear. “I needed this too,” was the whispered confession, spoken for Sunset’s hearing and no one else’s. “Everything else can wait until morning, Sunny. Principal Cinch, my project, your fears and nightmares...we’ll talk about them when the sun is up. Right now, we need this.”

Sunset made a noise in her throat, peppering the soft skin of Twilight’s neck with light kisses. Twilight was right: she did need this to make her world feel right again. The press and scent of the girl in her arms was soothing and familiar, and it made her relax, eyes growing heavy. The last thing she registered as sleep crept over her again was the soft murmur of Twilight Sparkle whispering the secrets of the stars in her ear.

So. Posting this a bit early, because I'm having a bit of a day. My spouse rescued a tiny kitten from the Walmart parking lot last night, preventing the little creature from becoming parking lot pizza. But it means that I've been dealing with a terrified baby fluff ball with very low human socialization (not feral, because he acquiesces to things like being picked up, but definitely low), and figuring out what to do. I would very much like to give him a home, but as we live with my mother, it requires her to okay him staying...and she's not fond of cats. At all.

It also meant a night with very little sleep for me, during a time of year when I'm already exhausted, because crippling chronic pain is a bitch and even worse during transitional seasons when your body is sensitive to air pressure. So yeah. I'm tired and bed is calling my name, but I wanted to get this up before I pass out potentially until morning.

As a bit of a side note, I've long since debated on whether or not to stick some kind of "tip jar"/patreon/thing up on my stuff, because I know a lot of people do it, and I could really use any extra $$, even if it was just like $5 (gotta love living from paycheck to paycheck, right?), but at the same time, I'm not sure how I feel about sticking my paw out for donations. I know I spend large amounts of hours in a day on this story, if not on the actual writing then on the plot write ups and mapping out of events, but I don't know.

As for the chapter itself....We now have Sunset's internal narrative in the aftermath of her nightmare. Not pretty, is it?

But at least we get some adorable cuteness from our girls this chapter. :P So there is that! Have some fluff, may it warm your hearts!

See you in the comments, kiddies!