Cross the Rubicon: Choices
Chapter 71: Chapter Fifty Six: Writing on the Wall
Previous Chapter Next ChapterTwilight stared at the entrance to Crystal Prep, her stomach twisting itself into knots. The teenager forced herself to take a calming breath, drawing on the shield of mathematical equations to steady her nerves and squash the irrational anxieties rising up in her psyche. The rigid structure and predictability of numbers and angles was almost as relaxing as naming the stars, her thoughts happy to fall into the patterns and formulas she could use to calculate and measure doors, windows, and walls. There was a simplistic sort of beauty to math, one that so many people didn’t appreciate, but it was comforting, like the hug of an old friend, or the warmth of a hot mug on a cold day.
Except…that calm was escaping her today. Purple eyes stared up at the structure she’d run the numbers on dozens of times, always with the same answers, and in some unsettling way, she knew that her measurements were somehow, impossibly wrong. The windows, which had always been neat right angles at the corners, looked skewed and slanted the longer she focused on them, which made no sense. They had always been perfect before, so why did they look so warped now? She pulled off her glasses, cleaning them on her vest, and rubbed her eyes. Perhaps she was simply more tired than she thought? There had to be a perfectly rational explanation for this feeling she couldn't name, in the way the building itself was not how her memories told her it should be, how her past mathematical calculations were telling her it was…because it wasn’t just the windows. The front door was off—the lines and angles should not have been able to meet the way they did and still function as a door. It had to be her eyesight, because buildings didn’t melt and warp like wax figures overnight—there was no logical reason that could justify that scenario.
Just like there was no reason for the unusual visual effect to feel ominous and foreboding. A doorway could not look menacing, any more than a window could be cold and condescending. Architecture was inanimate, geometry and shape and form, not some kind of living, breathing, chaotic entity. This was real life, not some kind of fantasy or science fiction novel! She needed to get her head on straight and stop letting her anxiety get the better of her; she had way too much work to do this week to be able to afford a panic attack at school that would leave her off balance for the rest of the day. Twilight closed her eyes against the sights that were upsetting her mental equilibrium and focused on her breathing instead, and on the academics she was at the school for.
Once her nerves were no longer so jittery, she quickly approached the doors, steeling herself against what she was about to endure in the halls. As much as she loved the search for knowledge and learning in all its forms, she couldn’t fight the dread she felt about braving the gauntlet all the way to her lab, or about how she was going to react to her peers negative behaviors, not after how uncharacteristically angry she had gotten the month before. Tightening her grip on her backpack, she took a deep breath and hurried forward, weaving between other students as she scurried in the door. Purple eyes were kept firmly off those around her, and she wished she could make herself even smaller to better avoid being noticed.
She managed to make it all the way to the tiny room that was her independent study lab, closing the door behind her and leaning against it with a relieved sigh. The dirty looks and the few instances of shoving in the halls seemed to have gone back down to normal levels, and the dark expressions on the faces of a lot of the boys in school no longer held a predatory edge that made her chest feel tight and her heart race with borderline panic. What was left also had yet to trigger the overly aggressive urges that had driven her crazy during exams, which eased her mind. The normal hostility was something she knew she could handle, mostly by minimizing social contact with everyone in school and avoiding extensive eye contact in class.
That just left her with trying to decide her independent study project for the semester, since Twilight had to turn in a write-up to Principal Cinch no later than the end of next week. There were a couple of ideas she was sure would be acceptable, but she hadn’t quite decided which one would look best on her college applications, and that was an important facet in her decision making process. It was something she’d not really admitted to anyone, but in the privacy of her own mind, she was able to acknowledge her ambitions driving some of her actions. For Twilight, it wasn’t enough to have a project that was just ‘good enough’ or even ‘excellent for a high schooler.’ She needed to pick things that made people take notice, that made them sit up and pay attention. It needed to be something that made people question why she wasn’t already at some top ranked college, something that would make those same top ranked colleges seek her out before she could even apply. The thought of some of the top schools in the world courting her for her attendance, fighting over who would have the honor of her receiving a degree from them was a fantasy that made her smile as she set her bag on the chair, lost in thought.
“Hey, Twilight.”
The quiet, fairly soft voice from the corner was so unexpected that she jumped with a small scream of surprise, whirling to face the source. “Wallflower! When did you get here?!”
Wallflower Blush raised an eyebrow. “I’ve been here for the last fifteen minutes.” She took a bite from a soggy, greasy smelling breakfast burrito that looked like it had been bought and heated in some kind of filthy gas station convenience store. The smell of it was decidedly sour, and almost spoiled, making Twilight have to swallow hard to avoid gagging.
“Oh...I didn’t see you when I came in.” Twilight tried to sound at least moderately pleasant, but her skin itched at the unexpected intrusion of what she thought of as her space, one of the only places in school where she could have privacy. Normally she had some expectation or warning that Wallflower would be joining her, which made the girl’s sudden appearance extremely jarring—worsened, of course, by the scent of her unpleasant breakfast. Twilight had to squash the urge to ask her to throw it out…in the hallway somewhere.
Waving off her apology, Wallflower gave a shrug, answering in the usual cool, indifferent tone that was laced with something Twilight could never quite decipher. “I’m used to it. You always get lost inside your own head, and I’m not Moondancer or Lyra. I just have to wait for you to surface on your own.” She offered a slight smile, one that seemed intended to take the sting out of her words. “You usually wait a bit longer before zoning out. Something happen over break?”
Twilight thought back to the last few days at the estate, actually getting to know Glamour Shot instead of avoiding her at every turn, learning that under the vapid, shallow persona that her cousin projected, there was a young woman who meant well, who wanted to spend her life making people feel good about themselves, with more than a measure of business acumen. That alone had been eye opening, and it was only one of the memorable events from her holiday break. Christmas had been amazing, and she’d enjoyed every minute spent with Sunset.
Shaking herself out of her memories, she offered her friend a smile. “My break was really great, actually. Even New Years turned out alright—one of my cousins appears to have finally matured, and was more than tolerable company.” There was a silence at the end that lasted just a little too long—long enough for the faint smile on Wallflower’s lips to twist just slightly—before Twilight registered what was missing. “How was your break?”
The green haired girl rolled her eyes. “Oh, it was a fantastic demonstration of familial love from my parents, as usual. They went to Fiji, forgot I existed, and gave the maid two weeks off. Oh, and they made sure to empty the fridge of most things before they left.”
Twilight frowned, but was at a loss for what to say, her mind racing furiously to come up with an answer. What was the most socially appropriate response to such negative events? Should she offer an apology? A quip? Should she laugh at the sarcasm—since sarcasm was considered a type of humor—or would that be rude? Maybe just nod?
Her mind flitted briefly to her girlfriend, trying to decide how she would react if it was Sunset. That answer was easy: she’d hug the redheaded girl tightly to let her know she wasn’t alone or forgotten. Twilight chewed on her lip for a moment in indecision. She didn’t feel comfortable enough with Wallflower to just hug her, but maybe offering some sort of assurance that her friend cared would help without drawing too much attention to the situation with her parents. “I wish I had known,” she offered, managing a brief touch to Wallflower’s forearm and a small smile. “We could have gotten together and done something fun over break.”
The blank expression on the other girl’s face wavered, her eyes going from icy with bitterness to warm. “I...” she swallowed, then shrugged. “I figured you’d be with your family, Twilight. I didn’t want to interrupt.”
“Wallflower, you’re my friend. I would have been happy to spend a few afternoons with you during the holidays so you wouldn’t be alone the whole time.” Twilight made a mental note to check on her friend during spring break and summer—she’d known Wallflower’s relationship with her parents was distant and strained, but she hadn't realized that it was that bad.
A slight smile was sent her way. “Thanks, Twilight.” Wallflower relaxed in her seat for a minute. “Oh, you might want to avoid Suri today. She looked like she was in more of a foul mood than normal. Wouldn’t put it past her to get physical today instead of her just being catty.”
Twilight sighed. Suri was one of the girls she avoided as much as possible—she was one of the ones who always seemed to have some sort of scheme going, some game or manipulation. “I’ll do my best. I have to work on my write up for my study project this semester anyway, so I’m going to spend most of my free time here today.”
Nodding, the other girl waved a green skinned hand at the desk, where two stacks of papers sat between Twilight’s large customized EMF detector and the seismograph she’d...borrowed...from the currently defunct geology department of the school. “Speaking of your projects, that was all over the floor when I came in. I picked it up for you, but I don’t know if it’s all in the right order.”
Thoughts of avoiding the unpleasant students of Crystal Prep were scattered when Wallflower’s words and their implications registered. Twilight practically tripped over herself to get to the papers to look through them. Her eyes widened and she was grinning so much her cheeks hurt. There, printed in black and white were full readings on another occurrence of the same anomalous energy that she’d detected that fall. Her excitement grew as she flipped through the data, translating the readings into information. She had caught whatever it was from start to finish—her other devices! She had to check what they had recorded!
Her backpack was practically thrown to the floor as she took over the chair it had been resting on, already bringing up the lab’s computer to start going through the data. “This is amazing! I got everything!” Twilight exclaimed with glee.
“Everything for what?”
She never looked up from the information she was looking over. “Several months ago, when I was doing some astronomical observations during a rare celestial conjunction, I detected an anomalous energy that caused serious interference with my equipment. Because it was accidental, I only got partial readings, but it was enough to realize I couldn’t match it with any known object, phenomenon, or device. So I set up all this to try and record it if it happened again.” Twilight hands flew over the keyboard. “All of this? This was set up to get me all kinds of data on the city and surrounding areas in the event of a repeat of the anomaly—and it worked! Not only did it pick up on another instance of the energy, but I have everything I need to rule out common events!”
“O...kay...?” Wallflower sounded confused.
Twilight attempted to explain. “I’ve got not just readings for various sections of the electromagnetic spectrum, but I set up a seismograph, a system to monitor cosmic rays such as gamma and x-rays, just to rule out something silly like a CME or solar flare, a program to monitor other scientific institutions and their chatter, to see if anyone else picked up on the anomaly, and even a system for tracking the greater Canterlot area electrical grid and power usage during the anomaly—“
“So you hacked into the power company to see who left the lights on?” Wallflower asked sarcastically. “Doesn’t that seem like a bit much, Twilight?”
“I didn’t hack anything,” Twilight responded, frowning. “That would be illegal. I simply used my own program to ask the system nicely for a copy of all data coming and going in regards to the matter, so I could use it for cross referencing. It's a perfectly reasonable thing to do.”
There was some shuffling, but Twilight was too busy studying a particular part of the EMF reading to turn away. “Reasonable? I’m not sure that’s the word I would use,” her friend commented with what sounded like amusement.
Twilight didn’t respond. She was too busy studying a particular part of the energy’s unique waveform and mentally comparing it to ones she knew of. It didn’t match any she could remember, so she scribbled a note to herself to cross reference it against the database. “...I miss Moondancer,” she acknowledged abruptly. “This would go so much faster with her help—and I could get her to do cross referencing while I sorted and organized the data...”
Wallflower snorted in amusement. “Oh yeah, you two are the only people I’ve ever met who would find that to be an exciting afternoon activity.” There was a pause. “Speaking of Moondancer...did you get a letter from her recently? She sent me one and said she hadn’t heard from you since before Thanksgiving, and she said she’d sent two letters since then.”
Blinking, Twilight turned away from the data, as something horrible dawned on her. “I...forgot,” she whispered, feeling equal parts shock and guilt as the words coalesced in the air. “I got her letters, and I meant to reply to them, but then there was so much going on with the holidays and family and projects and Sunny and then the trip to the estate and I completely forgot to write her back! I’m a terrible friend! She must think I don’t want to be friends anymore!”
“Twilight, relax!” A green skinned hand pressed down on her shoulder, pushing her back down into the seat she’d started to get up from when the need to pace welled up from the depths of her psyche. “She’s not mad and she doesn’t think that. There’s no need to get all panicked. The only thing she said to me was asking if you got her letters. She thought maybe the mail system lost them.”
Against the rising anxiety, she focused her thoughts on what Sunset would tell her right now. “She’s right, Sparky,” the mental image of her girlfriend reassured her. “Now take some deep breaths, and make a plan instead of freaking out.”
That was something she could do. Make a plan. Fix her mistake. Letting out a breath slowly, she nodded to herself. “When I get home tonight, I’ll write back to her, and apologize for not writing to her sooner. I didn’t mean to forget...I should explain that to her in my response.”
Mental Sunset gave her a nod of approval before giving her another nudge. “Okay, nerd, now thank Wallflower, before she gets worried about you staring blankly at the wall and talking to yourself.”
Twilight shook her head to clear it. “Thank you, Wallflower, for reminding me about Moondancer’s letters. I don’t know how long it would have taken me to remember if you hadn’t, especially with all of this new data and a new semester starting.” She smiled at her friend.
The other girl stared at her for a long time, expression going through several emotions before settling on what Twilight thought might best be described as ‘perplexed.’ “Um...sure. No problem, Twilight.”
Growing anxious again, Twilight bit her lip. Being back in the school had her on edge as it was, and it was making her second guess herself. Had she messed up, said the wrong thing? She ran through her words again in her mind, but couldn't find any overt fault. This was harder than interaction with Sunny, or even with Glamour... and wasn't that a strange thought? The cousin she had often complained about being easier to interact with than one of her actual friends. She gave her head a shake, and smiled again at Wallflower, a touch uncertain. “Did I say something wrong? You helped me, and I thanked you—that’s what friends are supposed to do, I thought.”
Again, Wallflower’s face went through several expressions before giving Twilight a smile that felt friendly and warmer than normal. “You’re right, Twilight. That is what friends do.” She looked like she might’ve been about to say something else, but the shrill sound of the first bell rang, so she gathered up her backpack instead. “I guess I’ll talk to you later. Are you eating lunch here?”
“Yes! I have so much data I have to sort through—I need to get as much of a head start as possible on it.” She tilted her head as a thought came to her. “You are welcome to still join me here for lunch if you want.”
A shrug. “Maybe. I might go hide in the greenhouse today. I miss my plants, and even though a greenhouse isn’t the same, it’s something. And no one really goes out there this time of year.” Wallflower pushed open the door. “See you later, Twilight.”
Then she was gone, leaving Twilight to save her data and hurry to class so she wouldn’t be late.