Sunset gave the list Pinkie had texted her another long look as she dropped her pillow on the couch next to her sleeping bag. The list, besides the standard overnight necessities Sunset had expected, had a variety of added extras that made the redhead unsure as to whether she should feel excited or terrified. The girls had all been fairly secretive about what was going to happen during the New Year’s Eve sleepover, responding to any attempt she made to acquire information with “it's a surprise.” Despite everything that had happened, the former unicorn could feel the small knot of anxious worry twisting and churning in her guts, growing more and more obvious the closer it got to the party.

Packing the last of the supplies into her backpack, the teen zipped it closed and flopped onto her couch with a sigh. “Pull yourself together, Shimmer,” she grumbled. “Your friends aren’t going to spontaneously plan to do something awful and humiliating. You’re being ridiculous! There’s no reason to be feeling like this!”

She thumped her head back against the sofa, trying to push away the negative emotions that were starting to make her queasy. Sunset knew the feelings were irrational, made up of leftover paranoia from her own past coupled with an innate dislike of walking into an unknown situation, not from anything her friends had actually said or done. She also knew the feeling would likely evaporate once she got to Sweet Apple Acres, but she still had several hours to kill before she could head out.

Blue-green eyes flicked to the book on the coffee table, then to the console controller next to it. She could spend the time reading or playing a game, but something about it didn't really catch her interest. Instead, she fished out her phone and started typing a message to her girlfriend, wondering just what Twilight was up to.

Twilight Sparkle closed the door to the guest room she was staying in as quietly as possible, locking it behind her. Even just that much separation between her and her various cousins made it feel less like there was an elephant sitting on her chest, and with any luck, it would take them at least an hour to figure out where she was hiding. The annual New Year’s bash thrown by her father’s side of the family had never been so stressful before, and she couldn't pin down why, but after three days of being at the estate, she was utterly exhausted.

She cringed and curled up on the floor on the far side of the bed, wedging herself in the narrow space between the bedframe, the nightstand, and the wall that held two windows that overlooked the gardens below, her legs curled up to her chest. In the past, she would find Cadence and the two of them would find places to hide out, but this year, Cadence and Shining had stayed in Canterlot, since her brother had drawn the short straw and had to work New Years Eve. It left her with no one to really talk to her understood her, and she found herself desperate to hear a voice that didn't drone on about dating, celebrities, makeup, or social media, the way her various extended relatives in the “sixteen to twenty-four age bracket” all seemed to.

She needed intelligent conversation. She needed someone who could relate to her. She needed to be around someone whose presence did not make her feel like she was drowning in a foreign world of unintelligible social cues and expectations. She needed someone with whom she could be herself.

She needed Sunset.

Lavender fingers were scrolling through her contacts an instant later, pushing the call button and trying not to drop the phone as she put it to her ear.

Sunset couldn't help the smile that twitched at her lips as she finished the text to Twilight ans sent it on its way. It had not done much to ease the boulder in her gut, but just focusing on the dark haired girl made it easier to ignore.

Almost before the message had finished sending, Sunset’s phone began ringing, Twilight’s name flashing at her from the screen. The redhead answered it, half laughing as she did. “Hey, Sparky! I was just thinking about you!”

The pause from the other side was just a few heartbeats too long before Twilight’s voice came through. “Hey, Sunset,” she said, and something about the way the words felt made the former unicorn sit up fully, her own worries forgotten for the moment in favor of something more important.

“Twilight?” Sunset frowned. “What’s wrong?”

A shaky breath echoed in her ear. “How is it you can tell from two words over a bad cell phone connection, but no one else can see it when they’re two feet from my face?” Twilight’s voice sounded somehow both relieved and frustrated to the point of tears.

She blinked, running fingers through her hair. “I...I’m not sure how I knew. Just...a feeling, I guess? Maybe something in your voice? We spend a lot of time together, Sparky, so I’d like to think I can read you pretty well.” The redheaded teen twisted to a more comfortable position on the couch, making use of her pillow. “Now...are you going to tell me what’s bothering you? Or should I start guessing?”

Playing with her hair, the dark haired girl forced herself to breathe. “It’s...my family,” she began, before grimacing. “Not mom and dad, but...everyone else—I told you how New Years is when we get together with dad’s side of things, at the big estate?” She paused just long enough to take a breath and hear an affirmative from the other girl, her thoughts starting to run away with her. “Well, most of my extended cousins are either way older or way younger, and we don't have anything in common, but they don't seem to understand that I don't care about social media, or shopping...and everyone hounds me why I don't have a boyfriend and drags me into these conversations I don't want to be a part of! The best things about this place is the library and the garden, but whenever I go off to try and read, I don't get five minutes of peace before they find me, and I know they don't mean any harm but they don't seem to understand that I'm not like them and that I need time alone, and normally Cadence and Shining are here too and I can hide out with them but they aren't this year, and Great Uncle Rising Star died a few months ago, so mom and dad are a little busy in a discussion about his will and who gets that stupid silver tea set with the family crest etched into it, so they cant even tell people to give me space and—“

“Twilight. Stop.” Sunset’s firm command broke through the anxious rambling. “Stop and breathe, Sparky.”

She found herself obeying the instructions almost without thought, words forgotten as she focused on drawing in air and releasing it in the slow, measured fashion that Cadence had taught her as a small child. Her world narrowed until all that existed was her breathing and that wonderful voice on the other end of the phone.

“There you go, Sparky. Deep, even breaths.”

In and out. Slow, even, steady, a count of seven by four as her breathing was broken down into parts. For the first time in days she could do it without the sense of weight crushing down on her chest, and her airways no longer felt strained, constricted.

“You’re safe, and you aren’t alone. I’m right here. I’ve got you.”

The warmth that encased her felt like the summer sun, creating a bubble that pushed back the rising anxiety and panic. She could relax, even if only a short while, and all the tension bled out of her in the form of a shuddering sigh.

Sunset could tell that Twilight had calmed when she heard the sigh, and it caused her own knot of tension in her guts to dissolve. She smiled, the hundred miles between them vanishing in the warm aftermath of coaxing her girlfriend down from an impending panic attack. “Hey. Feel better?” the former unicorn asked gently.

“...I do,” was the soft reply. “Thanks, Sunny...”

Rolling over, Sunset stretched, feeling her spine straighten itself out. “You have that party tonight, right? You going to be okay, Twilight?”

There was a frustrated sounding noise. “I don't have a choice—have to go. So I’ll just have to get through it like I do every year, and hope that Summer Breeze doesn't accost me with ‘advice on how best to snag a man before I’m, like, doomed to life as a lonely spinster with a dozen cats.’”

Whatever Sunset had planned on saying next was completely derailed by her girlfriend’s rather impressive impersonation of a shallow, somewhat brainless bimbo. “...um...what?” she finally settled on, trying to hold back laughter.

Twilight snorted. “I have a cousin who married a woman named Summer Breeze. Summer’s sole goal in life was finding a rich man to marry, and she seems to think it's every girl’s goal too. She keeps trying to give me advice on attracting a rich boy.”

“What kind of advice?”

She could practically hear the sound of Twilight rolling her eyes. “Just today she told me I should get contacts and learn how to properly do my hair, because boys don't like girls who might be smarter than them.”

Sunset grunted, crossing her arms over her chest. “I like your glasses,” she countered. “You’d look weird to me without them.” The last thing Sunset wanted was her girlfriend to look more like her princess counterpart, and the glasses helped prevent that. “And I like that you're intelligent—I spent several years ordering around two idiotic buffoons that I’m convinced still eat their own boogers. Being stuck in the company of the unevolved and brainless is a slow torture.”

“You're also not a boy, Sunset.”

“Thank the stars for that!” A shudder went through her. “Sounds to me like her advice is more comical than anything, since absolutely none of it applies to you or me or us. Maybe you could take notes and we can debunk all her advice later as useless to you.”

The sound of Twilight laughing made her feel good, especially knowing that she had been the one to put her into a good mood and banish a lot of the stress hanging over the other girl. “Look, Sparky,” she said, wanting more than anything to do something to keep those spirits high, “I know we both have things we’re doing tonight, but...keep your phone on you. If you need me, text me. I’ll find a way to answer, even if i have to hide in the bathroom for a bit.”

“Are you sure, Sunset? You have a party with your friends tonight.” Twilight hesitated, before continuing. “I don’t want to interrupt that because of my anxiety. Your friends don’t deserve to have their fun with you halted because of me.”

Sunset chewed on her lip. “I’m sure, Sparky. I want—need—to make sure you’re okay. I...can't really explain it, it's just important.” That much was true—Sunset was having trouble placing the feeling. Rarity would have lit on a dozen cheesy romantic explanations for it had she ever uttered that near the tailor’s exceptional hearing, but Sunset wasn’t sure that “romance” factored into it. It felt...deeper, resonating with her soul in a way that almost reminded her of her cutie mark, a need and compulsion that she could no more ignore than she could choose to stop breathing. One hand absently rubbed her thigh, ghosting over where the mark should have sat proudly, pondering the subject. “I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want to, Twilight. Besides, its as much for you as it is for me; I’m a bit...worried about tonight and I could use the distraction.”

Pushing her glasses up on her nose, Twilight mulled over Sunset’s words. “Why are you worried about going to a party with your friends? I thought you said it was a small gathering at one of their houses.”

Her girlfriend was quiet for a minute or so, before letting out a heavy sigh. “It’s...stupid.”

Stretching one of her legs out, Twilight waited to see if there was more. When it became obvious the other girl wasn't going to continue without prodding, the dark haired girl spoke again. “Sunset, it’s not stupid—if it’s bothering you, then it matters, even if its not rational or if the feelings are misplaced. Please...tell me what's wrong?” More of that silence, until a new knot of anxiety began to form in her stomach and Twilight began to grow concerned. “Please, Sunny? I can practically feel how much this is bothering you, even through a telephone connection.”

Something gave way, and the words spilled through the phone’s speaker. “It’s so stupid, Sparky, even for me, but...I can’t seem to stop it. This party...it was kind of last minute, but they found out it was a first for me and so they’ve spent the last few days planning it, because they want to make it special...and every time I asked what was going to happen tonight, they told me it was a surprise...” There was the sound of movement and Sunset taking a ragged breath. “...problem is, whenever other f—kids said that to me when I was younger, it was because they wanted to try and play an awful prank on me, and then I would get in trouble when I’d get angry, because they would claim I wasn't playing nice and was spurning their overtures of friendship and ruining everyone’s fun...”

Another ragged, half breath, and Twilight’s heart hurt at the pained sound. The miles between them at that moment were a curse, because Sunset needed a hug and the reassurance of physical contact, something they were both denied at this moment. “Sunny...” she whispered, gripping the phone tighter.

“....I know! I know the girls aren't like that—they really are my friends, despite it all, and they would never do that to anyone...but I can’t seem to shake this feeling, and I’m afraid I’m going to mess this up!” The words had gone from a trickle to a flood, unstoppable, as all of the insecurities came out at once. “What if it was me all along? What if, all those times, I really was ruining things and turning away real friendship? I like having friends, and I don’t want my stupid, paranoid brain ruining some of the best things that have ever happened in my life just when things finally feel like they are good!”

Twilight frowned again, doing her best to choose her words carefully. “Sunny?” She interrupted the beginnings of another self deprecating rant. “It’s not stupid, I promise.” She adjusted her glasses and leaned her head back against the nightstand. “Especially not if those feelings are connected to a childhood trauma or troubles, which this seems to be. Those other children were wrong to do stuff like that to you, and what they chose to do is not your fault—it's also not unique to you. I had problems with the same kind of thing when I was in third grade, and even Shining dealt with stuff like that in middle school. So...I understand, and it can be hard to let go of some of those feelings, but that doesn’t make them wrong or stupid.”

She tried to remember the advice she’d been given on the same subject years before. “It's also not you ‘ruining’ things—if you need an example, look at us. You’re my best friend, and you are the best friend I’ve ever had. You...you understand me in ways no one else ever has, and I feel more comfortable with you than anyone I’ve ever known, even my own family. If you were somehow, even subconsciously, sabotaging your relationships with others, we wouldn’t be having this conversation...” A thought tickled her, and she lowered her voice, “and I certainly wouldn’t have spent the last few hours of Christmas finding new ways for you to kiss me.”

Twilight could hear the change in Sunset when her girlfriend laughed softly. “...hard to argue with that, Sparky,” she responded, her voice sending a good shiver through Twilight. It made her wish, not for the first time, that she could have somehow brought Sunset with her, just so they could have found places to hide on the estate for the purpose of kissing rather than avoiding her cousins, the secret of her orientation be damned. She could picture it, her and Sunset, hiding amidst the shelves in the library, the redhead’s lips against her neck and throat, tracing a trail to her ear.

Another shiver and the dark haired girl forced herself from her daydream to realize Sunset was talking again. “...guess I’m just...scared. Scared because for the first time, I actually have something to lose.”

Swallowing, Twilight managed to recover enough to keep her voice from betraying where her thoughts had drifted. “It’s normal to be a little afraid, Sunset, but I think, in this case, you should trust your friends, because if they care about you like you care about them, then they are probably as afraid to lose you as you are to lose them, and that means they wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that.”

Sunset let out a breathy sigh, the kind of soft and affectionate noise that only escaped her around Twilight. "You always seem to know what I need to hear, Sparky. And even if I'm not quite sure I can trust myself, I know I can trust you. If you say it's going to be okay, then...I know it will be."

“I’m sure it will be, and you’ll have a great time tonight.” Twilight kept her tone light and encouraging, though she secretly wished she was going to Sunset’s party and not her family’s.

Her answer was one of those odd Sunset sounds. “I’ll do my best, but it doesn't mean I wont be thinking about you, Sparky. I meant what I said before: keep your phone on you and if you need me, call or text me. No party is more important than my best friend.”

Twilight uncurled the rest of the way, stretched out comfortably now and filled with happiness and warmth. “I’ll definitely be thinking about you at midnight, Sunny,” she told her. “I—”

A firm knock at the bedroom door startled the teen. “Twilight, sweetheart, are you in there?” her mother called. “I wanted to check on you.”

Pulling away from the phone to haul herself onto the bed, she called back, “Yes, Mom. I’m here!”

The door unlocked and Twilight Velvet stuck her head in. “How are you holding up, dear? I know the last few days have pushed it for you.” she asked gently.

“Better now. I called Sunset.”

From the phone came the distorted yell, “Hi, Mrs. Velvet!”

Her mother smiled. “Happy New Year, Sunset! You stay safe tonight, okay?” She turned her attention back to her youngest child. “If you want a shower before the party, now is probably the time. It’ll be a madhouse at the bathrooms in about half an hour.”

Twilight’s eyes widened—when had it gotten that late? “Alright, Mom, thanks.”

Once her mother had shut the door, she returned her focus to Sunset. “I’m going to have to go soon. Sorry, Sunny.”

“Hey...it's okay. I need to finish getting ready myself. It was nice to hear your voice though, even if it was because we were both freaking out a little.” Sunset laughed. “You go shower before someone decides to ‘help you with makeup.’”

She groaned before she could stop herself. “I didn’t even think about that,” she complained. “Now that you’ve mentioned it, someone will try. Probably Glamour Shot. She’s obsessed with cosmetics. Thanks a lot, Sunset.”

More laughter tickled her ears, causing her to flush. “It’s not funny! She’ll try and video it for her internet fans! She’s done that twice now and never asked if I wanted to be in one of her videos!”

Despite her very vocal protests, however, Twilight Sparkle found herself smiling.

Fun chapter, this.

Twilight's family is something I gave a lot of consideration to, looking at a combination of both what we see about the human version, and what we know about the pony one. There's hints that the human one comes from a family that has money, given the high tech equipment she has ready access to, the fact that she (and her brother) went to an "exclusive" private school like CPA (at tens of thousands a year, easy, that's not just something anyone can do), the fact that she arranged (and may have paid for) a cruise for her and six friends, and the size and design of her house. At the same time her behavior and how readily she changes to a public school suggests that the money is either new or that her immediate family is removed enough from the source to not have a lot of the upper class expectations forced on them.

In the end, I took those ideas and ran with them. in Rubicon, Night Light's great-grandfather was the youngest son of a wealthy family, and so Twilight and her immediate family are closely related enough to need to keep in contact with the main branch of the family as well as have access to like the "family education trust" and some of the family properties, but distant enough that there's almost no chance they will ever inherit anything or have to deal with a lot of the more suffocating upper class expectations. Mostly, they just have to go make nice once a year at the New Years thing, and occasionally attend a fancy wedding or funeral. It also means Twilight has a mess of relatives she just shorthands to "cousins," because it gets messy otherwise. (somewhere I have a rough family tree mapped out, and I'm filling in names as I think of them for when they might be needed, usually as passing comments or name drops.)

The bimbo impression Twilight does is actually an amusing reference to Tara Strong's voice acting career. In addition to voicing such well known characters as Twilight and Timmy Turner, once upon a time, Tara Strong had a minor role in another cartoon, this one from the early 90s. In the Beetlejuice cartoon, Tara Strong voiced Claire Brewster, the blonde haired, blue eyed, fake tan sporting mean girl who was queen of the private school and arch nemesis of one Lydia Deetz. (she also voiced Lydia's friend Bertha, while amusingly, one Tabitha St. Germain voiced Lydia's other friend, the nerdy Prudence).

Next week's chapter will be the last before my december break, but once I finish polishing it, I'll also pop my Rarijack short up.