It felt good to park her bike in school’s parking lot again instead of down the block and around the corner, Sunset decided as she pulled her helmet off on Tuesday morning and shook out her hair. Stowing the helmet, she retrieved the containers Velvet had pressed into her hands on her way out the door of the house that morning, one containing a lunch, and the other, breakfast. That had been a novel experience, and she still wasn’t sure how to feel about it. When she was a filly, Celestia had often made breakfast—she had yet to find pancakes or waffles in the human world that could match those made by the Solar Princess—which had often been the only meal they shared, and she had always gone back to the palace for lunch when she was at CSGU, simply ordering something from the kitchens. As for her tenure in the human world, she had been living on her own all but the briefest period of time, and had to rely on herself to fix her meals and decide what to eat at school. Having Velvet see her off that morning with two meals and a hug made her feel...

Truth be told, she wasn’t sure how she felt. The emotions were too new, too different from anything she’d experienced before to accurately be able to pin them down. There was longing—that was something she was more than a little familiar with, but the rest of it was more complicated and foreign, and it made her throat tight and her eyes burn if she thought too much about it.

Shaking her head to dispel the thoughts and put the confusing emotions on the back-burner, Sunset made a quick trip to her locker to leave what she didn’t need for her first class behind before ducking back outside to wait for the girls by the statue while she dug into the breakfast she’d been given: a few muffins, still warm from the oven, and tasting of oats and honey, with a rich, nutty undertone that had her having to force herself not to gobble them down, a homemade fruit salad with some of her favorite fruits, and a snack bag filled with almonds. The redhead couldn’t help but smile as she munched happily on her meal. Her girlfriend’s mother was extremely determined to make up for all the meals she’d missed the week before and then some, going so far as to make suggestions or experiment with a variety of foods Sunset never would have thought to try—or, in many cases, had never known about—in order to provide her with a much broader selection of meals and better nutrition...and that didn’t even begin to touch on the offer she’d made to Sunset the night before at dinner.

Sunset blinked at Velvet across the dinner table. “What?”

“I was asking if you’d consider staying over for the rest of the week, Sunset. I know you said you’re feeling better with a few good nights’ sleep, but I would feel better knowing you’re getting some more filling meals in you.” Velvet offered her the serving spoon for the roasted potatoes and veggies. “I know you’re a capable young woman, and if you would rather go back home tomorrow, I won’t be angry or upset, but I wanted to at least put it to you as an offer to consider.”

Silence filled the air as the former unicorn struggled to process what she was hearing. “...I...I don’t want to impose...” she finally responded hesitantly, feeling Twilight’s hand squeeze her knee under the table.

“It’s not an imposition if we invite you,” Night Light pointed out.

Sunset looked down at her plate, warring with herself. She really wanted to stay, surrounded by the feelings that being there evoked—not to mention the benefit of spending more nights with Twilight in her arms—but that desire was countered by waves of guilt, anxiousness, fear, and more than a small dose of paranoia. She didn’t want to lose what she had there, and in her experience, just when she started to relax, that was when things always went pear-shaped for Sunset Shimmer.

“...Sunny...?” Twilight’s voice made her look towards the nerdy teen. “You okay?”

She gave a shaky nod, before looking back at Velvet and Night. “....you...really don’t mind? You...want me here? It’s not going to...I dunno...disrupt your week or anything?”

“You aren’t a disruption,” Night Light offered, grinning cheekily at the two teens. “In fact, I’ve considered trying to get you to come around more—ever since you started coming over, we’ve had less explosions in the garage. Somehow, Sunset, you've accomplished the impossible: you’ve reined in Twily’s dangerous levels of curiosity to a range that isn't so hard on the structural integrity of our house.”

“Daaad!” Twilight protested. “That only happened four times!”

“Six, dear,” her mother corrected.

Twilight pouted, making Sunset laugh and throw an arm around the shorter girl’s shoulders. “Alright...if it’ll keep this nerd from blowing up the house, I’ll stay a few more days.”

“Mornin’, Sunset! Yer lookin’ like ya feel heaps better!”

Jolted from the memory, Sunset’s head snapped up sharply, only for her to relax at seeing Applejack and Rarity standing nearby. “...yeah,” she replied. “I spent most of the last few days asleep. That really helped.”

Rarity moved forward and bent down to hug her. “Please tell me you ate something in the last two days as well, darling!”

Sunset held up the empty container after Rarity released her. “That’s pretty much all I’ve done besides sleeping, Rarity,” she admitted. “Just finished my breakfast.” She looked worriedly between the pair. “How about everyone else? How is everyone doing?”

“Iffin ya mean us, Ah think we’ve all been a might tired,” AJ admitted. “Rainbow skipped out on school yesterday too. The rest of us jus’ plowed on through.” Then she glanced at the designer next to her in one of those silent conversations they were prone to having.

Adjusting her bag, Rarity picked up the train of thought, “However, if you mean the rest of the school...that news is...less optimistic, shall we say?” Smoothing her skirt, she say next to Sunset on the marble. “Some people were absent, but most of our fellow students seem to be taking things in stride. A fair portion inquired about you yesterday, actually—quite the change from recent weeks.”

Sunset shrank in on herself a bit, remembering what Adagio had said. “....that might be because of the Sirens. I think they may have been hanging around the area for a lot longer than a week or two.” When the pair looked at her, she elaborated, “When I confronted them in the halls...they knew about me. Things they couldn't have learned in so short a time, and the way they talked...it just feels like they planned last week with a lot more detail than a spur of the moment thing. It...kind of makes me wonder if they were responsible for some of the things people were doing to me, and it would explain how quickly they seemed to be able to muster the power to control the whole school.”

Applejack frowned. “Whaddya mean ‘when ya confronted them?’ Ah don’t remember that.”

“What don’t you remember, Applejack?!” A blur of pink was suddenly hanging off the farmer’s shoulders cheerfully. “A birthday? An anniversary? A birth-iversary? Where you hid the last batch of cider?”

“Ah was sayin’ Ah don’t remember Sunset confrontin’ them sea-devils in the halls.” She crossed her arms over her chest, turning stern green gaze back on the seated girl. “Well, sugah, ya gonna share?”

Three sets of eyes were watching her intently, and Sunset could see Fluttershy and Rainbow approaching across the grass. She waited until they got close before answering. “It was when you were all practicing, during the elimination rounds. I...I got sick, in the bathroom. When I was headed back, I heard them talking about what they were doing, laughing about hurting people, and it...” Blue-green eyes dropped to the ground, unable to look at her friends. “I got so angry. I snapped and I...I confronted them when they got close. I couldn’t stop myself...I wanted to hurt them, to make them stop hurting everyone.”

She hunched forward, hanging her head and feeling shame creeping over her. “I came so close to doing it, I fell so easily back into the old Sunset Shimmer...I’m sorry...”

“Sorry? For wanting to punch the Sirens in the throats to shut them up? Pul-eeze, I think most of us wanted to do that!” Rainbow looked around the group. “Am I right?”

Fluttershy’s voice was almost too soft to hear. “I didn’t...”

There was a sniff from Rarity. “Rainbow Dash, a lady does not go around ‘punching throats’ to solve problems—that being said, anger and frustration are understandable emotions given the circumstances.”

“Ah did.”

Sunset’s head snapped up. Applejack took her hat off, rubbing the back of her neck. “Ah thought ‘bout it. Didn’ think it’d work against magic, so Ah didn’ try. Don’t mean Ah didn’ want ta.” She looked at Sunset, expression serious. “Ain’t nothin’ ya need ta apologize fer, is what Ah’m gettin’ at.”

“Yeah!” Pinkie dropped down and hugged the former bully with one of her rib-crushing bear hugs. “Just because you got angry doesn’t mean you’re turning back into a super meanie mean pants! My sister, Limestone, gets mad aaaaall the time, and she’s never turned bad from it!”

Once again, the differences between humans and ponies seemed to be smacking her in the face in ways she never expected as Sunset looked to each of her friends. “So...it’s...you’re not upset with how I confronted them?”

Rarity waved a hand. “Heavens, no, darling! While I don’t condone brawling like an unwashed ruffian, feeling angry and inclined towards violence is a completely understandable response given the circumstances, and I applaud your ability to restrain yourself.” The tailor paused, studying Sunset closely. “Is there a reason you expected us to be upset at you, Sunset?”

Hugging herself, the redhead found the truth falling from her lips before she could think to deflect. “...because it’s not okay in Equestria.”

Blue eyes narrowed in concern. “Can you elaborate, darling? I suspect this is one of those cultural differences.”

One hand ran through her hair. “Yeah, sure...um...ponies...don’t get mad like I do. We get mad, sure, but the ‘mad enough to explode with violence’ thing? It...doesn’t really happen. Ponies argue, or get into disagreements, but most of the time it's solved with words, or some form of competition. Sure, we use violence when we have to, but even then...it’s a last resort and almost nopony is angry-angry. Even ponies who might seem like they want to fight are driven by other emotions, like bravado or ego or stubbornness.”

Sunset shifted, looking down again. “I’ve...always been different in that respect. I get angry in ways most ponies don’t—I’ll just get madder and madder until...” she snapped her fingers. “Just like that, something breaks inside me, and I lose control and I don’t care about anything but hurting the cause of those feelings. It doesn’t even require it to be anything big or super important to make me angry like that.”

“Like the night of the Formal,” came Fluttershy’s quiet tones as she sat on Sunset’s other side, sandwiching the former unicorn between her and Pinkie. “You had given up, and when we started thanking Twilight, you got super angry.”

Her cheeks burned with shame. “Yeah. Just like that...I heard you all telling her how wonderful and special she was, how everyone thought she was everything I had ever wanted to be…and it just…I couldn’t take it. I wanted to make someone—anyone, at that point—see that I was just as good as she was, that she wasn’t as special as everyone thought…I lost it, and I didn’t care if I hurt anyone anymore. Anything to make her feel like I felt…You all saw how that turned out.” Sunset pressed her hands to her face. “That…wasn’t a first time thing. It’s been something I’ve had all my life…and whenever I got mad like that in Equestria...ponies got upset with me.”

Rainbow Dash snorted derisively. “They got mad that you got angry? Sure, maybe you get angry more than some people, but so the fuck what? Sounds like Equestria isn’t so great after all if something little like that gets them all pissy.”

Fluttershy hugged Sunset around the shoulders gently. “There’s no reason to be ashamed of getting angry, Sunset. Everyone gets really angry sometimes—even me. That’s normal and actually very healthy. It’s how you handle your anger that’s more important.”

Hearing Fluttershy—sweet, soft spoken, shy Fluttershy—admit to being furious made Sunset’s brain grind to a shuddering halt. “What?” she whispered in disbelief, lowering her hands to stare at the girl in question. “You’ve been angry enough to want to hit someone?”

Another snort, this time in eerie surround sound as it emanated from Rarity, AJ, and Rainbow. “I take it you’ve never had the misfortune to cross paths with Shy’s brother,” Dash snarked. “He’s an infuriating piece of shit...”

“He really is quite...problematic,” Fluttershy agreed.

Brain still trying to restart, Sunset’s mouth opened and shut a few times without anything coming out. Rarity cleared her throat. “Zephyr Breeze and his uncouth demeanor aside, Fluttershy is right, Sunset. We all get angry enough sometimes that even the most pacifistic soul considers lashing out in aggression and hurt.” A frown pulled at her lips. “...and I’m not sure simply telling you that you were wrong to feel that way has been...particularly helpful...in your situation. Telling someone they are wrong for having feelings of one kind or another doesn’t do anything constructive.”

Sunset shook her head. “It just made me angrier...and sneakier. I learned ways to get around getting trouble by doing things they couldn’t pin on me.”

Applejack dropped down to a kneeling position before the redhead, placing a hand on her shoulder and squeezing lightly. “...since it seems like nobody has ever told ya anythin’ useful about yer temper, Ah’m gonna pass along a bit o’ Apple wisdom Ah learned from...from mah daddy. Ah want ya ta listen real good, cuz it’s important. Some folks, we’re just born with a temper, a nasty, ugly lil’ critter that lives in a cage inside us, always wantin’ out. Nothing wrong with having a temper—t’ain’t no shame in bein’ born with that fire in yer belly, cuz when push comes ta shove, that fire kin see ya through a lot, give ya strength when most folks give up ‘r run away. But ya also have ta understand that yer stronger in a lotta ways than other people and those strengths give ya ways ta hurt folks, real bad. Mebbe not by breakin’ their arms like Ah can, but hurt is hurt, an’ Ah don’ think ya want that. It means ya gotta learn when it’s okay ta fight an’ when its better ta walk away. ‘Specially if all they’re throwing is talk—talk ain’t worth bloodyin’ yer knuckles over. Save that fer when yer protectin’ people ya love.”

“But...I’ve hurt ponies—people when I get angry! All I want to do is make them hurt...even now, as much as I’m trying to be different! It’s like there’s a monster inside me, and I don’t understand...why are you all okay with it!? You’re telling me this is normal? Wanting to hit someone until you feel bones break, until they go down screaming and don’t get back up is normal? As violent as humans can be, even your species doesn’t go around doing that, and I’m a unicorn! Ponies aren’t supposed to feel like this! It goes against everything we are!” It all came out in a rush, the shame and humiliation and self loathing, Sunset finding herself unable to stop the rant once it started.

“Look, Sunset,” Rainbow interjected. “Feelings are just feelings. By themselves they aren’t good or bad. And...I don’t know any ponies besides you and Twilight, but...fuck ‘em. They can’t be all that great if they make a kid feel bad for having feelings. Even I know that it’s not what you feel—it’s what you do with those feelings that matters. Did you fuck up when you hurt people? Was it wrong to hurt them? Yeah, it probably was. But...just because it doesn’t make what you did right, it doesn’t make your feelings wrong...and we get that. Humans are...kinda big on screwing up like that.” She leaned forward and punched Sunset’s shoulder lightly. “Besides, that’s what friends are for. If you’re being a total bitch, we’ll be the first to let you know.”

The knot of shame and embarrassment started to unravel in her chest, replaced by a relief so powerful it brought tears to her eyes. Sunset wiped them away, but the girls had already seen, and she found herself at the heart of one of their group hugs. “Thank you,” she breathed, not even entirely sure what she was thanking them for.

When the hug ended, Sunset exhaled. “I didn’t hit them, but I wanted to. Didn’t really matter in the end—they...they knew. They knew I’m from Equestria, they knew you girls beat me...they knew what I used to be, that they’d been watching for weeks, maybe even months. If they were watching that long...”

“You think that they influenced the students who were harassing you, darling?”

Sunset shrugged. “It’s the only explanation I have for how fast people changed their opinion about me—they were smiling and waving at me right after the Battle of the Bands. If there wasn’t magic involved, then teenagers are more fickle than I ever realized…but if they were under the influence of the Sirens all along...then the magic on Saturday would have purged that.”

“It would certainly be nice if that was true,” Fluttershy murmured. “I like the way the students are acting now a lot more than when everyone was being mean and hurtful.” Then she frowned. “It’s just too bad our magic didn’t help the teachers like it did the students...”

The former unicorn frowned, eyes flitting between her friends. “What’s wrong with the teachers?”

“They ain’t handlin' the whole thing the best, truth be told,” AJ admitted. “Ah dunno what those Sirens did ta them, but a bunch have quit, and a bunch more are jumpier than a long-tailed cat in a room full o’ rockin’ chairs.”

Worry brought Sunset to her feet. “What’s Principal Celestia doing about it? Has she said anything? Or Vice Principal Luna? Are they absent too?” Luna had looked as haggard as Sunset had felt, last time they talked, and she hadn't seen Celestia since before the big showdown.

Rarity placed a hand on her arm. “Calm down, darling. They were here yesterday, or at least the vice principal was. I caught a glimpse of Principal Celestia as well in the morning, but no one else saw her the rest of the day.”

A scoffing sound came from Rainbow Dash. “I’m sure they're fine,” the athlete stated with conviction. “Principal Celestia is one hell of a woman—a some evil magical monsters aren’t going to throw her off her game! I mean, sure, they were ugly freaks at the end, but it’s not like they did anything really bad to anyone—especially since we beat them!”

Brows furrowed, Sunset knew that something wasn’t adding up. Celestia, hiding in her office? That didn’t mesh with what she knew about the woman or the mare. Memory tickled her consciousness...

“Why do we have to go, Princess?” The filly asked sleepily, her blankie draped over her and a well loved plush toy hugged tightly with one foreleg.

The white coated alicorn scooped Sunset up in her warm, golden magic and brought her close. “Because it’s the right thing to do, my little sun. My ponies are hurting—you see, the rain made the local mountain too heavy, and a bunch of mud fell off it. Some ponies have been badly hurt and others have no homes anymore.”

“Didja know the ponies there? Are they your friends?” Sunset wrinkled her nose up in worried confusion.

“No, Sunset. None of them are ponies I know, but they need me there all the same.” The Princess of the Sun hugged the filly to her chest and leapt easily into the large carriage.

“But why? It’s night time! I’m sleepy....”

“I know, and I’m sorry to have woken you up, little sun. But those ponies need to know that they aren’t alone right now, that their princess is with them while they start to heal. Just like how you need me to stay with you when you’re sick—that always helps you feel better faster, doesn’t it?”

Sunset nodded drowsily. It was always nice when the princess stayed close to her when she was sick. She felt warm and safe then.

“I’ll explain it more when you’re older, Sunset. Go back to sleep for now, and have sweet dreams...” After signaling to the guards, Celestia began humming Sunset’s lullaby, luring the tired filly back to sleep.

She shook off the echo of her past and brought herself back to the here and now. “No...Celestia wouldn’t just hide in her office if she was all right. She’d be out there, in the halls, making sure her people were okay.”

Sunset sighed. “Look, girls, I still have more I want to talk about, but I need to find the principals and talk to them. I’ll meet you in the music room during my free period, okay? We can eat lunch there and work out some details on magic training.”

Fluttershy gave her another hug. “Of course, Sunset. We’ll meet you in the music room—won’t we, girls?”

There was a collective nod from the group, and AJ tipped her hat back. “Ah’ll head in an’ reserve it fer us,” she told them. “Just fer today, Sunset, ‘r d’ya want it fer the rest of the week too?”

Breaking from the group, the former unicorn glanced back. “All week, if it’s possible, Applejack...I have a feeling we are going to need it.” Then her feet carried her inside, on a mission to track down the school’s administrators.

So this chapter starts touching a little more on the "differences between humans and ponies," which is something I've acknowledged here and there. A lot of what I've extrapolated comes down to observations about major aspects of pony history, behavior, culture, and observable biology in the show (sort of a "yeah, I know its a kid show, but what if there was in universe reasons for stuff" kind of deal.) Using a little knowledge of psychology and sociology, its fun to sit there and figure out "how would these things affect cultural development"--like, for example, Cutie Marks. Ponies place emphasis on discovering their Mark, and its culturally celebrated, regardless of what it means. Which means, in all likelihood, while parents might be hopeful a child follows the "family business" it would likely be frowned on if they tried to force it if the child's Mark turned out to be in something different. Compare that to how with humans, there's a lot of pressure, even in modern day, to "follow in the family business." Completely different, and would have a lot of little ripple affects too. Its a huge deep-dive I've done, and I've been thinking about using the blog posts to dive into more about some of what I've worked out. If people were interested.

Sunset's temper is part of that. Her volatile, fiery nature, and tendency even after reform to explode is...fairly rare compared to the other ponies we see. Even ones who get angry or upset, very rarely have that same kind of "impending berserker rage" style fury, and much of the examples of anger we see are motivated by other things--Rainbow, for example, is often motivated by ego and bravado and Loyalty. Couple that with the Hearth's Warming Story, and you've got a prime reason for ponies to discourage Rage Problems on a cultural level. (an extreme form of this is seen with the offshoot Kirin in one of the episodes.) And we know emotion and magic are connected--Starlight bottling her angry magic teaches us this. A unicorn like Sunset? On par with Twilight Sparkle? That kind of power plus explosive temper screams "bad news" to me.

Applejack's advice about Rage is based on a conversation my own father had with me when I was just three years old. I've got one hell of a temper, and i inherited it from him...and when I was three, I got mad at a bully on the playground for being mean to other kids...and ended up in a scrap with him. He was a few years older than me, bigger, and should have had no problem wrecking me. I won. I lost control when he knocked me down and proceeded to bloody him up before my father could get to me to separate us. And that's when my father took me for a walk, sat me down, and had this conversation about having a temper. It was a defining moment for me as a kid, this knowledge that there wasnt anything wrong with getting angry, but I could hurt people and I needed to learn control....and I could see AJ and Mac having a similar talk with their father at a young age, because they were strong and painfully honest, and likely to get into scraps for one reason or another.

And of course, we're starting to see the consequences and fallout of the Sirens and their shenanigans. Sounds like the grown ups had a rougher time of it than the kids.

In unrelated, but sad news, my kitty did not make it. He took a turn for the worse over the weekend, and he passed away just after midnight on Tuesday. It was relatively quick, and my spouse was cuddling him when it happened, so he went knowing he was loved. So this chapter is dedicated to him. He was my little snuggle buddy, who liked to lay on my stomach and purr while I laid in bed and wrote chapters on my phone. He had all kinds of opinions about things, and was, funny enough, a twelve pound fluffy sounding board when I had ideas.

He was also rather goofy, and had this place on his shoulder we called "The Derpy Spot." If you scritched it, he would go cross-eyed and lick the air on autopilot. So I thought I'd share a pic of that, to end this with a bit of a smile.

Until next week, friends!