Cross the Rubicon: Choices
Chapter 29: Chapter Twenty Three: Things We Have
Previous Chapter Next ChapterThanksgiving...Sunset wasn’t entirely sure what she felt about the strange and uniquely human holiday. Many of the other major celebrations that humans marked on their yearly calendar were not-quite-right knock-offs of holidays she had grown up knowing in Equestria. Thanksgiving, however, was not, even if it seemed to take little tidbits from a dozen different Equestrian holidays and mash them into a huge harvest feast day with emphasis on things that most ponies appreciated in their everyday lives. The past four years, she’d simply spent the long weekend away from school either furthering her knowledge of the human world or working on her plans for revenge, so she had anticipated a quiet night at home with a few books or some television, or maybe even the new video game she’d picked up for herself. Twilight’s surprise invitation to spend the whole weekend at her house with her family had caught her off guard, and she had treated Sunset’s admission of ignorance over the traditions of the day with a tight hug and soft words in the former unicorn’s ear.
“…it’s about being with those you love, the people who matter to you, and we want you to be a part of it with us, Sunset. Come spend the holiday with us? Mom says you can stay all weekend if you want.”
Even now, the words her girlfriend had murmured left her feeling warm and filled with an emotion she couldn’t give a name to. At the time, it had prompted her to kiss Twilight until they were both desperate for air, before she’d agreed to come for the holiday weekend as requested. She still wasn’t sure what to expect from it all—Velvet had asked her about foods and desserts she liked, and Twilight had told her when to come by, but with no further instructions or insights, she was still incredibly nervous.
The driveway was full when she got there, so she parked on the street, breath fogging the air as she stowed her helmet. Shouldering her overnight bag which was heavier than normal since she was staying several nights, she chewed on her lower lip as she retrieved a small basket wrapped and decorated with fall colors. It had seemed like a good idea at the time she’d purchased the contents, still feeling warm and tingly from Twilight’s invitation, but now she that she was here with it, she found herself riddled with anxious uncertainty. As often as she’d been over to the house and spent time here as “Twilight Sparkle’s Best Friend,” being invited officially to spend a major family holiday was different, and with no frame of reference for the holiday beyond a somewhat ridiculous story that took up about a third of a page in her history textbook, she had fallen back on one thing she did know: things Princess Celestia had taught her.
It took Sunset some time to gather her courage, her mind drifting back to the human Nightmare Night and how the Principal and Vice-Principal had talked about it being okay to still embrace Equestrian traditions and beliefs even amidst human holidays. The former unicorn wondered if that applied to quirks and traditions that had been somewhat unique to her mentor and mother-figure, even as her feet carried her to the door, and her free hand knocked.
Cadence answered the door in short order, sending a wave of deliciously scented air wafting over Sunset. “Sunset!” she greeted, pulling the teen into a somewhat abrupt and tight hug. “You look better than the last time I saw you—are things doing better at school? Or do I need to have Shining scare someone straight?” The normally perky woman held her at arms length to look her over with uncharacteristic and serious intensity. “Because I will, Sunset, if you need me to, and Shining will jump at the chance.”
Shaking off the weird disorientation that still lingered with the human Cadence, Sunset pushed the rising worries in her head away. Twilight had made sure to clear with her exactly what information had been shared with the rest of the family to assuage their concerns about Sunset’s well-being—something that the redhead barely managed to wrap her brain around—but she hadn’t quite adjusted to them knowing about the treatment she’d been getting at school. “It’s fine, Cadence,” she assured the young woman. “…It’s back to dirty looks and the occasional snide remark in the hall, and I…I can deal with those.”
“Alright, but if you change your mind or if you need help, you tell us.”
“…I will.” Sunset adjusted her hold on the gift basket, weighing whether or not to ask for help on a different matter. “…um…Cadence? So…I…I’m not really sure about what…you do here for holiday traditions…but…my…” she paused, taking a deep breath and trying to push past the lump that had formed in her throat as the other waited patiently, “…mom…always made sure to…bring a little something to offer the host as thanks…and…I…” Shaking hands held up the basket, which had been carefully arranged with a sample of exotic and tasty sounding coffees and teas in decorative tins--Celestia had been fond of giving out tea blends, given that the Princess’ taste for teas nearly rivaled her love of cakes and pastries, but Sunset had felt the humans might appreciate coffee more, so she split the difference. “…I didn’t know if it was…appropriate…but I brought this? To give to Mrs. Velvet…since they were nice enough to invite me to a family celebration…” As she spoke, her confidence slowly bled away until her voice was very small and worried.
“Oh!” Eyes dancing, Cadence took the basket from her to keep it from falling out of her hands. “It’s not inappropriate at all,” came the gentle reassurance. “It actually used to be really common, but the younger generations have mostly fallen out of it, except for those of us whose parents drilled the concept into our heads when we were young.” A pink skinned hand patted her shoulder. “…Don’t worry, Sunset. You’re in good company with this tradition.”
Tension drained out of her. “…I’m glad. I…this isn’t really a holiday I can remember celebrating, and I…I don’t know what I’m...supposed to be doing,” she admitted. “…Is…is there something I can help with? Something I’m supposed to do?”
Looking briefly over her shoulder towards the kitchen, Cadence chuckled. “I think there’s enough hands in the kitchen at this point, Sunset. Why don’t you just head upstairs and keep Twilight company until dinner is ready? She’s in her room—something about a new flying robot she wants to build? If someone doesn’t go up and help keep her feet on the ground, she might not come back down to earth for dinner.”
Sunset glanced up the stairs as she took off her boots, a bemused smile crossing her face. “…That sounds like the most difficult job of all: keeping Twilight Sparkle out of ‘Nerdspace.’ That’s not easy.”
Cadence winked at her, her expression somewhat teasing. “Then I’d say it’s the perfect task for you, Sunset—if anyone can keep our Twily grounded, it’s you. Go on. We’ll call you girls down for dinner, and I’ll give this to Velvet for you.”
She headed back for the kitchen, leaving Sunset to stare in confusion after her, barely noticing Spike giving her his customary wary sniff—better than the warning growls, but still standoffish. The redhead was not sure what to make of Cadence’s teasing: did she somehow know or was this more of the familial social interaction she was still learning about? The thought niggled at her as she headed up the stairs to find her girlfriend, but she put it aside when she rapped her knuckles on Twilight’s door. “Sparky?” she called.
The door opened in a rush. “Sunset!” Fingers tugged her inside, shutting the door, and Sunset took the chance to pull Twilight into her arms.
“Hey,” she murmured, savoring the moment. The click of the door locking registered in her ears and she tilted her head down with a smirk.
Twilight smiled back and leaned up to kiss her, the warm contact between their lips an intimate hello that she had come to enjoy as much as she did the hugs that pressed the shorter girl’s body to hers. It was something she still didn’t understand and never would have anticipated—she still found humans to be unappealing, with bodies that looked stretched, gangly, and oddly proportioned to the eyes of the Equestrian native. Yet, in only a few weeks, the look and feel of Twilight Sparkle had become like an addiction, the sensation of lips meeting hers, the smell and taste and touch that was unique to the purple eyed girl in her arms sating a hunger for contact she had never realized she possessed.
Sunset slid one hand up her companion’s back to tangle in her ponytail and give her the leverage to deepen the kiss, giving a playful nibble on Twilight’s lower lip that earned a surprised sound from her. There was no attempt to pull back; instead, the arms around her moved to tighten the embrace, lavender fingers fisting in the leather of her jacket near her shoulder blades. A shiver of desire went through the redhead’s body, drawing her mind up short even as her mouth was still engaged with her girlfriend’s. How was it possible to feel a hunger like this, an ache deep in what seemed like her very soul, when she thought humans were so ugly? What made her Twilight so different?
The kiss broke into several smaller ones, pulling back enough to draw in air before they pressed together again, until it ended with the two girls inches from each other. Sunset found herself staring at Twilight, and the words fell from her mouth before her brain caught up with her. “Why are you so pretty?” she mumbled, asking aloud the question that was driving her insane.
Lavender cheeks darkened with a flush, Twilight’s lips curving up into a smile, before the way Sunset had asked it registered with her. “Sunny?”
Sunset pulled back a fraction, mind racing to come up with an explanation, only for Twilight to reach up and brush her cheek with light fingers. The redhead took a deep breath, and forged ahead with as much of the truth as she could. “...I don’t find people attractive,” she confessed quietly. “Male, female, doesn’t matter—I just don’t see them that way...but...you’re different, Sparky. You’re special, and I don’t understand why. Why you’re so pretty to me and everyone else in this world is about as appealing as a rock.”
Heated lightning lanced through her innards when Twilight moved closer to go back to resting their foreheads together, initiating the gesture for the first time. It was a moment she savored, even if the dark haired girl didn’t know how much it meant to her, though she tried to put some of that emotion into the kiss shared a moment later.
This time, when they parted, Twilight’s smile remained, though it was one of the soft, open smiles that usually preceded something emotionally deep that Sunset needed to hear. “Sunset...sometimes that just happens—and it’s okay if it does.” Arms hugged the former unicorn tighter. “What matters is that you are okay with this, with us, and that you are happy. Are you?”
There was the faintest quiver in the nerdy girl’s voice, and Sunset hurried to reassure her. “In all of my life, Sparky, I cannot remember a time where I felt happier than I do with you. I guess that’s why it’s all so confusing...” She looked away, feeling guilt gnaw at her. “I’m sorry...”
“It's okay, Sunny!” Twilight’s voice soothed her agitation and chased the guilt back to its hiding place. “I like Sunset Shimmer, regardless of what that means—nothing you can say will change that. As far as I’m concerned, I like you, you like me, and we are happy with ‘us.” Nothing else should matter.”
—Sparky’s got a point, horn-head,— Stupid Little Voice chimed in. —Why does it matter if you find just her pretty, hot, and tempting? She’s the only one you want and she’s yours. Win-win, so why worry your tail bald about it?—
She didn't think Twilight was tem—okay, she did, but she could’ve gone without that irritating voice pointing it out. Still...it was a valid argument, and as long as she didn’t start developing an urge to get intimate with every hairless biped she encountered, maybe it really didn’t matter that much. Her lips quirked into a lopsided smile. “Yeah. I guess you’re right: nothing else matters...except...”
“Except what?”
Blue-green eyes flicked down to Twilight’s lips, then back to the purple eyes peering at her from behind thick lenses. “Except this,” she murmured, and kissed her girlfriend again, only stopping when they were both in need of air.
Twilight grinned at her, a giddy, dazed expression only Sunset ever got to see. “Oh...that’s an acceptable exception...” she murmured.
Sunset chuckled. “...so I’ve been told that my job is to keep you company until the food is ready, and that it would be a while yet. Any thoughts on how we should spend however long we have?”
The shorter girl closed the gap between them again, light and affectionate contact. “I can think of a few things,” she teased.
‘A few things’ turned out to involve the two of them hunched over some blueprints on her desk while Twilight explained the details of her latest invention idea, asking for Sunset’s input. They were close enough that their sides touched, and the redhead slipped an arm around her girlfriend’s waist, letting her eyes rove over the scattered pages on the desk’s surface. As she listened to Twilight explain the details of her idea for a drone camera that operated on its own, she spotted a piece of paper with a long mathematical equation on it that seemed to be the source of a lot of crossed out sections, eraser marks and just frustrated scrawl. She plucked it up, squinting at the complex and unsolved sequence for a moment. “Trouble with your calculus homework, Sparky?” the redhead joked, waggling the paper.
“I wish,” Twilight grumbled a touch petulantly. “It's for an independent project, but I cant seem to figure out what I’m missing.”
“Hmmm....” Sunset stared at the equation again. “That’s because you’re missing a variable,” she commented, picking up a pen and grabbing a clean sheet of paper. Her hand flew over the page rapidly as she added what her mind knew was missing, all the while breaking down the steps for the girl tucked against her. “.....there you go! Solved.”
Twilight stared with wide eyes at the paper, then made a high pitched sound of glee and pulled Sunset into a hug that almost knocked the wind out of her. “I’ve been stuck on that equation for over a month! I don't know how you figured that out!”
“I think I’ve seen the equation before—it looked familiar.” She nuzzled the top of a dark haired head. “Which project is it for?”
“Do you remember the weird atmospheric disturbance that resembled an aurora the night we met? It made some of my electronics go haywire, but I got some data from it. I’ve been trying to figure it out ever since because it defies all known phenomena.”
Horseapples. That’s where she’d seen the equation before—in her advanced spacial mathematics course at CSGU. It was an absolutely necessary equation for any unicorn to learn before they could master a number of advanced spells (including teleportation), and the missing variable was the one that accounted for the magical energy in leylines. Twilight was trying to study magic, and Sunset had just given her an important piece of the puzzle.
“Do you remember where you saw the equation before? If it was in a book or a paper somewhere, I might be able to track it down....” Twilight’s tone was still laden with excitement.
Sunset made a show of looking like she was trying to remember while she weighed how to respond...and how to gently dissuade the shorter teen from advertising her research. “...it was before I ran away...” she finally answered. “I found papers with high end research on them in her private study. She was angrier than I could ever remember when she caught me—there was lots of yelling, and it is why she sent me away...”
This time the hug was meant to be comforting, and Sunset felt the guilt return, bringing its friend shame along for the ride. She pulled Twilight as close as possible. “Look...Sparky...promise me you’ll be careful? If she got...that mad about me looking at the equations with no context...I’m afraid of what other people might do if they learn you’re researching this energy.” It wasn’t entirely a lie, she told herself, trying to justify her decision. The former unicorn was terrified at what unscrupulous humans might do should they discover magic was real...and while she trusted Twilight not to fall into the category of amoral mad scientist, she still wasn’t ready to admit to her girlfriend that she was a unicorn from a parallel reality.
“I hadn't planned on going public with any of my findings until I identify what it is and how it works,” Twilight acknowledged. “As of right now, no one else seems to be looking into the events...” Purple eyes met hers. “...but if it will make you feel better, I’ll be careful and discrete in my research.”
It was something, at least. “Thanks, Sparky,” she murmured, before changing the subject back to the “selfie camera drone” that Twilight had sketched a rough schematic for. The pair ended up spending almost an hour batting ideas, suggestions, and thoughts back and forth, slowly refining the rough sketch into a prototype design.
Afterward, they sprawled on the bed, conversing in between moments of affection, a pillow fight, and one impromptu tickle war that ended when Sunset nearly spasmed off the bed, laughing until she couldn’t breathe. That had been a new experience for her—tickling was something that wasn’t easily accomplished by hooves, and ponies had thicker hide than humans did, so the sensation of fingers dancing across her stomach in a way that left her muscles twitching and her laughing uncontrollably was a thing she’d never had happen before…and she was looking forward to getting her revenge at a later date by returning the favor.
They had entirely lost track of time when Cadence knocked on the door sometime later, interrupting Sunset’s impending victory strike with a pillow. The pair straightened their clothes and went downstairs, joining the rest of the household in the dining room. Night Light was carrying a platter of turkey to the table, and he gave Sunset a mock glare. “I’m hurt, Sunset! You’ve been here for hours and you didn’t even come say hello!” The tone of his voice betrayed his amusement.
Sunset enjoyed the warmth in her chest, and gave him a cheeky smirk. “Couldn’t help it, sir! Cadence told me I had to choose between you and a pretty girl! The girl won.”
“Far be it for me to get between a teenage girl and her best friend,” he joked. “Glad you could make it all the same.”
“Sunset!” Twilight Velvet set a basket of rolls down and pulled the girl into what Sunset had come to think of as a ‘mom-hug’, a comforting embrace that made her feel like a little filly again. “Happy Thanksgiving, sweetie! I hope you’re hungry—I made sure to have things you said you liked!” She pulled her over to one side of the table and peeled the foil off one of the dishes to reveal a bunch of skewers with fat, fresh grilled shrimp and a few salmon steaks.
The former unicorn’s eyes lit up with joy. “Thank you so much, Mrs. Velvet!” The feeling of being welcome and included when she was over at Twilight’s no longer brought tears to her eyes, but the way it made her feel hadn’t lessened in the slightest. The girls at school might have welcomed her into their circle of friends, but it was in the Sparkle residence where she felt at home. She even had her own chair at the dinner table here, a seat right next to Twilight’s, and Velvet always made sure to include some sort of meal option for Sunset. The redhead was fairly certain she had eaten more seafood and hearty vegetarian dishes in the weekend meals than she had since she left Equestria; something that was starting to show, she admitted ruefully. Several of her tops didn’t fit right anymore, and neither did her favorite pair of jeans.
It didn’t stop her from taking her seat with the rest of the family, eagerly eyeing the shrimp that was calling her name. Twilight’s family didn’t seem to offer prayers to a human deity before their meals like she had seen some humans do (an odd practice to her as a pony, but something she’d observed in diplomatic dinners with certain species. Fox-folk were particularly picky about prayers to their progenitor goddess, she’d learned the hard way), but today was a holiday, and holiday traditions might be different. So she waited.
Night Light took it upon himself to start. “Sunset, we do have a family tradition for the holiday that we normally do about this time. As you’ve probably noticed, we’re not overly religious, but this is something my father and grandfather both did, and we continue to do because it reminds us to stop and look at the things in life that matter to us. We go around the table, and each of us talks about the things we are thankful for in our life, little or large. You don’t have to participate, but we would love it if you did.”
She flushed, feeling suddenly very shy. “I...I’d like to...” she managed, glancing around the table.
“Perfect! I’ll start...”
Sunset found herself listening, as each member of the family spoke easily on the things they were thankful for: good health, loved ones, friends, a home, good coworkers, events and places and people, and found herself wondering what she was most grateful to have. As Cadence finished hers, Sunset found herself speaking, almost without her brain’s consent.
“A lot has happened in the last few months for me...and a lot has changed. But...honestly, what’s meant the most to me, what I’m most grateful for...are second chances, chance meetings, new friends...and...here. This place, and the people in it.” Her hand found Twilight’s under the table, lacing their fingers together and squeezing firmly, letting her girlfriend know just who it was that meant the most. “Thank you...” she whispered, blinking back tears.
She found herself in one of Twilight’s hugs. “I’m thankful for you too, Sunset,” Twilight told her with a beaming smile. “You’re my very best friend, and I’m so glad we met when we did! You didn’t just change my night, you’ve made my life better by being in it.” Purple eyes found hers and Sunset knew what Twilight was alluding to, protective anger lighting a fire in her when she thought of their first meeting.
And then Cadence and Shining Armor turned it into a group hug, sending the whole table into laughter.
The hour was late, and the whole family had spent the evening watching movies in the family room. The credits on the final film for the evening were playing, and Night Light chuckled when he flicked on the lamp. His wife looked over. “What’s so funny?”
He shushed her with a finger to his lips and then pointed. Sprawled on the pillows on the floor, their youngest had fallen asleep on her best friend, contentedly using the other teen as a pillow. Spike was curled up behind the bend of the back of Twilight’s knees, his face buried amidst kernels in a tipped over popcorn bowl. Sunset was also asleep, hands half fisted in her slumber, one of them resting lightly on the small of Twilight’s back.
Velvet smiled softly. “Remember when she used to fall asleep on Shining like that when she was little? I thought that was adorable, but this is almost more so. I almost hate to wake them...”
“I’ll get it, Mom. I can usually wake Twily without startling her.”
Shining leaned down to shake his sister’s shoulder when Sunset took a sudden sharp breath, her hand snapping out with lightning speed and stopping him cold with an iron tight grip to his wrist. Her eyes were half hooded and dark in the dim living room, and she sat up part of the way, staring at him until her brain caught up with the rest of her. Shining took a half step back, keeping his voice even and nonthreatening and making no attempt to break her hold—he knew from training and experience that the worst thing he could do was be forceful in any way. “Easy, Sunset. It's just me: Shining Armor. You know me. I’m not going to hurt you or Twily,” he soothed, the same way he talked to traumatized children at crime scenes.
Sunset blinked, recognition bringing her to more to wakefulness, and she let go of him, cringing slightly. “Shining? Ponyfeathers...I’m sorry. Are you alright?”
He rubbed his wrist. “I’m fine. Hell of a grip you’ve got and some amazing reflexes too. Self defense courses?”
“Mmmhmm,” she responded quietly, though whether that was out of a desire to not wake his sister or because she didn’t want to talk about why she was on high alert even when sound asleep, the young man could not be certain.
“Cool. We’ll have to compare styles sometime.” He looked down at his sister.
“She’s out. I can get her, carry her up—”
“No!” Sunset’s tone was sharp, and her grip tightened on Twilight possessively. As the family blinked at her outburst, she softened her tone. “No.. that might wake her. I’ve got her,” she mumbled, still looking half asleep herself.
Only partially aware of her actions, Sunset got up, carefully maneuvering the other girl in her grasp, until the slumbering Twilight was draped over her back and shoulders and Sunset’s hands under her thighs. “See? Got her.” Blue-green eyes looked around. “G’nite...”
Up the stairs she trudged, unaware of the bemused smiles following her up. Once they heard Twilight’s door open and close, Shining Armor scratched his head. “Soooo...do you think Twily knows Sunset’s in love with her?”
Cadence giggled at the question, but Velvet gave them stern looks. “Leave it alone, both of you. Sunset’s feelings are between her and Twilight, and if she hasn’t mentioned it, it's not our place to interfere.”
“You have to admit,” Night Light pointed out with an impish smirk, “It would be an easy way to make Sunset part of the family officially. Besides, it would save me from having to potentially murder a girl who broke Twilight’s heart....”
“And me from having to help cover up evidence...”
Twilight Velvet rolled her eyes as her husband and her son high-fived. “Leave the girls alone. You heard what Twily said about Sunset confiding in her—bothering them about it would do more harm than good. Let them sort it out, and in their own time.”
Sunset lowered her cargo to the bed, and Twilight whimpered in her sleep when Sunset’s warmth disappeared. “Shhh...it's okay, Sparky, I’m here. Just going to change into pajamas...” she soothed, knuckles brushing her girlfriend’s cheek before taking her glasses and setting them on the nightstand. It was a quick change, something hot and possessive seeping into her chest when Twilight made another distressed sound, and she slid under the covers as fast as she could, pulling the smaller form to her. “I’ve got you, Sparky...you're safe,” she whispered into her ear.
“...Sunny...” Twilight’s sleep eased, the potential of a nightmare banished for now, and Sunset nuzzled her, humming the beginnings of a song she’d been working on in her free time.
Twilight was blissfully unaware of the night terrors that crept up on her on in the middle of the night sometimes, but it was something Sunset had learned she could chase away with her body and voice, and so she did. Every night they were together, she held her Twilight close, one monster keeping the rest at bay.
“You’ll always be safe with me, Sparky,” she promised in the darkness of the night, unaware of the unnatural glow in her eyes. “I’ll never hurt you or let anything hurt you while I’m with you...” She nuzzled her again, sleep reaching out to claim her. “...you’re mine...” was her final mumble as she fell into dreamland.