Cross the Rubicon: Choices
Chapter 156: Chapter One Hundred and Twenty: Indulgence
Previous Chapter Next ChapterAfter Cadence’s interruption, Twilight had slipped out of bed to lock the door, before crawling back under the covers and returning to her place curled up on top of Sunset. Hopefully the lock would prevent anyone from barging in; with her sister-in-law’s reminder, she didn’t want to push her luck and get caught by her parents making out with her best friend, both of them bare from the waist up. She just wasn't quite ready to end the quiet, deeply emotional and intimate moment with her fiery maned paramour, not when it was helping Sunset work through some of her thoughts and feelings.
She rested her cheek on Sunset’s chest, the feel of warm skin sending a tingle through her body, close enough that if she tilted her face up and Sunset tilted hers down, they could continue their kissing. Which they did, long, slow exchanges that let them explore each other in new ways that they hadn’t before. Twilight was pleased by the faint mark she’d left on Sunset’s collarbone, low enough that her shirts would cover it, and by the way Sunset was pressing kisses to skin that had so far gone unmarked by the touch of her lips. Amber skinned arms wrapped around her, holding her tightly, the other teen also in no hurry to cut this shared affection short. The heat of Sunset’s body contrasted with the cooler air of her bedroom, making her shiver and snuggle further into her girlfriend’s embrace.
“Cold?” Sunset breathed in her ear, causing a shudder from something other than cold.
“Maybe a little,” was the admission that followed.
Sunset pulled the blankets up further, creating a cozy cocoon around them, making Twilight sigh in happiness. “Thank you, Sunny.” She leaned up to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth. “How do you feel? Still okay and comfortable with everything?”
Quiet reigned for a few minutes, Sunset trying to gather her thoughts. Her brows furrowed and her nose scrunched up in the process. “...I didn't know it would feel so...so...” The redhead shrugged, seeming to lack a way to describe what it felt like.
Twilight let a happy little sound escape her, content in the way she was surrounded by Sunset’s warm touch and pleasant scent. It made her rub her cheek against where it rested, hearing the steady heartbeat speed up when she did so. “I liked it too,” she offered quietly. “It was...” Blood rushed to her cheeks. “I...I’ve always...had this idea of...the kind of person I wanted to be with, way longer than I’ve known you...”
Blue-green eyes watched her curiously, and she found herself stumbling a bit over her words. “It...you...you're everything I’ve ever thought about wanting...in every fantasy...every dream...” Twilight felt like she was going to combust from how hot her face felt. “...Like this, right here, with you holding me and touching me and...”
Sunset’s expression was soft and filled with surprised wonder, her fingers stroking through dark hair, tucking some of it behind her ear. “...you think about me like that?” she asked, her voice trembling and husky with emotion.
“More than you know,” Twilight responded honestly. “You’re gorgeous, smart, funny...when you hold me like this, I feel safe, wanted...when I’m with you I don’t feel awkward or strange or like something is wrong with me. You get me, like no one else, and you always seem to know just what I need, before I even tell you...” She tilted her face up to smile at Sunset.
Leaning forward, the redheaded girl kissed her, a short, sweet kiss that ended far too soon for Twilight’s liking. Sunset’s eyes danced with...an undefinable something in their depths, before a hand slipped between their bodies, a calloused thumbpad rubbing over her nipple, drawing a whimper from her, the heady need for more of that touch making her squirm. “Sunny...”
“You really imagined someone like me...doing things like this to you?” The tone was playful, teasing, but Twilight knew there was something more serious underlying the question, that Sunset needed the knowledge the answer held, even if Twilight found it embarrassing to admit to the years of daydreams and fantasies aloud.
“This...and more...” Her face must have been glowing from how hot it felt. “So much more...”
Sunset shifted under her, those dexterous fingers coaxing another whimper from her throat. “Tell me..?” she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper, and Twilight could finally put a name to what she saw in those eyes: fear, hope, longing, desire...
She found herself answering in a flustered rush, falling back on her old safety net of science and logic. “It’s...many adolescents fantasize while learning about their sexuality, and most of the time they begin vaguely formless with only basic ideas of pleasure. I was different—I already knew that I was noticing other girls and I never looked at boys like Cady looked at Shining, so all of the fantasies I've ever imagined had another female in them, and she was always a certain kind of person…held me, made me feel safe and special and wasn't turned off by my intellect or the parts of my brain that just don't work the way that everyone else’s does…I’ve always imagined her as someone who didn’t mind taking the lead so I can just stop overthinking everything all the time and ever since I met you, all I see when I close my eyes and think about those things is you, and it makes me want you so bad that you’re in my every fantasy and dream—do you have any idea how many times I've dreamed about you pushing me up against a shelf in a library, or on a blanket under the stars?” Twilight ran out of air, forcing her to suck in a breath, and allowing her to get a handle on her thoughts before they ran away with her.
Her girlfriend licked her lips. “A...library, huh?” she managed. “Sparky, you're such a nerd...even your fantasies are nerdy...”
The familiarity of the words brought back her dream from the night before, of heat and passion and glowing not-quite-right-but-still-familiar blue-green eyes, of Sunset pressing her hard into the library shelving and a bed of old paperbacks, teasing her, dominating and assertive in all the right ways to make Twilight’s heart race and her breath catch. There was only one response she could give, pressed together intimately as they were. “Maybe,” she said with a shy and affectionate smile, echoing her own words in the dream. “...but I’m your nerd, Sunset Shimmer...and right now? That’s all I want to be...”
The sharp intake of breath, and wide, blue-green eyes fixed on her told her just how thoroughly Sunset had been affected by her response. She scooted a little further up to rest her forehead against Sunset’s. “I mean it, Sunny. I’m yours.”
A hand found its way to the back of her neck, and she was being kissed, hard and rough, Sunset’s tongue exploring her mouth. The hands on her kept her where Sunset wanted—not that Twilight was interested in getting away. She melted into the aggressive, hungry embrace of her companion, happy to surrender and let the other girl indulge in kissing her senseless. It was enough to make her heart pound and her ears ring...
She whined in frustration when Sunset broke the kiss, and tried to beg her with pleading eyes to not stop, never stop, to kiss her and hold her until the heat death of the universe and beyond...but the ringing was interrupting her attempts to seduce her girlfriend into more kisses.
Hold on...what was the source of that ringing?
“Sparky...” Sunset panted. “Your cell’s going off.”
Crap. Why now? Twilight half rolled off Sunset to reach the phone on her nightstand. She blinked in surprise at the name on the screen. “It's my cousin,” she mumbled as Sunset pulled her back into a cuddle.
“So answer it,” was the reply, Sunset tucking her face into Twilight's neck. “Put it on speaker. I want to meet this cousin of yours that apparently was the one not-snob at your family reunion.”
Since it seemed the moment was broken, she answered the phone call. “Glamour?” she asked, puzzled.
“Twi!” the perky voice of her cousin called. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything important!”
“Um...not really? Sunset and I just finished breakfast.” She was proud of herself for managing to keep her voice level. Especially with Sunset kissing her neck like that.
“Oh! Sunset’s there? Put me on speaker!” Glamour Shot’s voice sounded again, this time away from the phone to answer a voice in the background. “It's Twilight, Tiger, and Sunset too! Come say hi!”
Sunset pulled her face away from Twilight’s neck to mouth ‘Tiger?’ with a perplexed expression. Twilight responded with a shrug.
There was some shuffling on the other end of the call, and a much grumpier, raspy voice bickering with Glamour Shot—“I’m not a zoo attraction, Glam.”—before Twilight’s eternally perky cousin was back.
“Twi? You still there?”
“Yes, Glamour,” she said, shaking her head. “We’re here. You're on speaker.”
“Ooooh! Hiiii Sunset! It's nice to meet you! I've heard so much about you! Twi raves about you every time we talk!”
Sunset burst out laughing, and she tweaked Twilight’s nose playfully. “Is that true, nerd? Do you really talk about me to your cousin?”
“Some?” she squeaked.
“All the time!” Glamour corrected. “Only the good things though!”
Sunset nuzzled Twilight, even as she took a moment to greet Glamour. “So you’re the infamous Glamour Shot, the one person that Sparky could tolerate out of a batch of stuffed shirts?” She furrowed her brows. “Thanks for helping her out when she needed it.”
“Happy to help! Silver Dollar is a creep, and I wasn't going to leave my favorite cousin alone with him...and Twi, you were right! Her voice is sexy as hell!”
“My voice is what?”
“Glamour!” Twilight cringed. She had let that slip during one of her chats with her cousin, completely by accident.
“You know I’m right here, Glam. Hearing you gush about your cousin’s girl...you’re lucky I don’t do jealousy.”
Glamour giggled. “I'm just happy for Twilight, Tiger. You know it's you that I love.”
Twilight sighed. “Did you just call to make things awkward?”
“Your cousin’s an airhead sometimes, kid. She called because I had an idea, but it's gone in one ear and out of her mind at the first hint of gossip.”
A snort of laughter from Sunset interrupted Twilight’s response. “Okay, I like your cousin’s girlfriend, Sparky.”
“That’s because you're a connoisseur of sarcasm. It's like fine wine to you,” Twilight told her, before addressing the phone once more. “What’s this idea?”
Wildsong was quick to explain. “Right. So Glam and I are off starting next Friday for three weeks, because Spring Break here never manages to mesh with Easter, and I was thinking, it's two hours from here to Canterlot City, and from there it's an hour to my hometown, which flies some serious rainbow flags. Whaddya say to us picking you girls up on a Friday or Saturday one of those weekends, and we’ll do that double date that Glam has been dying to go on. I know some great places that we’ll fit right in, and where I’m from? Nobody knows any of you, so you don't have to worry about outing yourselves.”
Uncertainty gnawed at Twilight. On one hand, the idea of being somewhere no one knew her and having an actual date with Sunset sounded like the most wonderful thing in the world. On the other hand, it was still taking a risk, and she was afraid of how people might react to the two of them being together, of it potentially getting back to her family. “....I don’t know...”
“C’mon, Twi! It could be a lot of fun! You were just telling me a few weeks ago about how you would like to just be able to relax and not worry when you went on a date! This is our chance to do that, and Song knows all kinds of great places where no one will look at any of us twice.” Glamour’s tone softened. “You won't be alone either. It’ll be a first for me too, and...I know...there’s a part of me that’s terrified. What if someone sees, what if it gets back to Mom and Daddy? ...but...I can’t always live in fear, everywhere I go. It's a hundred and fifty miles from where I go to school, twice that from the estate, and the odds of running into anyone who will recognize me on sight is so low... I’m willing to take a chance, because...I’m tired of feeling like I’m ashamed of who I love. Aren’t you?”
Twilight was silent but her brain was buzzing with variables, with potential outcomes, good and bad, chasing down and playing out a hundred different outcomes if she said yes, of all the things that could go right...or wrong. She couldn't focus, and as her mind threw out more and more mental simulations, it forgot to remind her how to breathe right and her lungs were beginning to burn as they started and stopped, failing several times to draw in air and—
“Twilight.” The interruption of Sunset’s voice broke through the buzzing. “Sparky. You need to breathe. It’s alright. Come on, breathe with me so you don't pass out, okay?”
The buzzing was still there, and against it, she thought she could hear worried voices, but Sunset’s was the only one that mattered right now. And Sunset was telling her to breathe. She could feel the rise and fall of the body she was laying on, and she tried to focus on copying the pace of that breathing like Sunset wanted her to. Everything else needed to wait.
“That’s it.” There was a familiar warm hand rubbing circles on her back, and it helped ground her, bring her back down to the tangible world, out of that space inside her own head where she got lost so easily. Sunset was talking to someone else now, and she listened, focusing on her girlfriend’s words. “She’s okay. It happens sometimes—just give me a minute to bring her around, okay?”
Blue-green eyes were fixed on her, holding her gaze in a way that was hypnotic, and Twilight felt something brush across the very fiber of her being. The buzzing and the panic that it brought began to drain away, and she felt...exhausted, as if she’d been out running instead of spending a lazy day with her girlfriend in bed. She sighed, dropping her head back to Sunset’s chest tiredly.
“You back with me, Sparky?” Fingers carded soothingly through her hair, and it felt so good, so right, being held and cared for like this that it made Twilight feel brave. This wonderful girl holding her wasn't a dirty secret, even if she wasn't ready yet to tell her parents, she knew she would be soon.
She gave a small nod. “Sorry...”
Sunset tweaked her nose. “No apologies, remember? I’m here for you, like I promised. Best friends help each other.” Twilight could see the worry on her face. “And if you don't want to go, it's okay. I won't be upset, and I’m sure your cousin will understand. This is a big thing for you to decide to do, and if you aren't ready, then I’m not going to force you.”
Gnawing on her lower lip, Twilight watched Sunset. “Let’s do it. Go on the double date, I mean.”
The other teen blinked in surprise. “Are you sure?”
“Glamour is right. We shouldn't be ashamed of who we’re with....” Her sudden courage flagged under an errant thought. “...unless...you don't want to?”
That sexy crooked smile was back on Sunset’s face. “I’ll go anywhere with you, Sparky. Any time, any place…all you have to do is ask me.” She raised her voice, “Hear that? I’d say that's a yes!”
“Oh you two are adorable!” Glamour Shot’s squeal was reaching Cadence levels of glee, and it made Twilight realize the whole exchange had been broadcast over the phone.
Groaning, she responded with a hunt of a whine, “Glamour...please don’t. You’re as bad as Cadence.”
“I’m sorry, Twi, but you are so sweet together, and I’m excited!” Whatever else Glamour Shot had been about to say was cut off with a startled yelp. “Tiger!”
Wildsong broke in. “Glam, I love you, but your mouth is running off chasing squirrels again. Focus. You can gossip when we pick them up. You’ll have them trapped in the car for an hour, completely at your mercy.” She cleared her throat. “Which weekend, kids?”
Twilight glanced at Sunset. “It can't be next weekend—don't you have that park event with your friends?”
“Yeah,” the redhead nodded. “Next weekend is bad for me, since it's kinda my Christmas present to Fluttershy. While everyone else is picking up trash, I’ll be basically coordinating the whole thing and making sure it all runs smoothly. Fluttershy’s great, but she’s…not so great at things like dealing with bureaucrats or speaking forcefully enough to get anyone to listen to her…but I am. Figure all my years of being a bitch and a tyrant should go to good use, you know? And if I get any kind of break from making sure everything runs smoothly, I’ll be helping her figure out where to put up animal feeders for all the small fluffy creatures who live in the park. I expect she’ll have me climbing trees like I’m some kind of monkey.” Then her eyes lit up. “What about the last weekend? Three weeks from now? That’s the big city founders holiday, remember? Everything’s closed, they do the parade, and all those events at city hall, the college, all of that? School’s closed that Friday, so we could take advantage of the three day weekend.”
She had totally forgotten about that, buried as she was in stress and work at school, and some of her frustrations with her research... “That could work...” An idea tickled at her. “Hey, Glamour? Wildsong?”
“Yeah, kid? We can do that Friday if you want.”
“You are already off that week, right? What if...you guys drove down on Thursday, and stayed overnight?” Her eyes found Sunset’s again. “Sunset could come over after school Thursday too, and we could get up early to leave, make a whole day out of it?”
“Oooo! Do you think we could? Would your parents mind us using a guest room?” Glamour sounded even more excited than before.
“I don't see why not. I have to talk to them about us going, anyway. We can frame it as a friendly social bonding activity—Mom and Dad are always happy to see me engage in those, and they were happy to find out I’d connected with you, Glamour. Mom will probably love having someone new to feed.”
Sunset snorted. “That’s an understatement. Your mother is the reason I had to replace all of my clothes, Sparky.”
“It's not like you’re fat, Sunset,” Twilight countered. “You were way too thin before, and living off stale cereal, frozen dinners, and takeout. If it weren't for your love of fruit, I’m fairly certain you would have had a vitamin deficiency long before we met.”
“I eat just fine! It's just so hard to find quick food that isn't made of plastic or covered in dead cow, and I didn't exactly have a lot of free time when I was evil. Being a horrible bitch and controlling an entire student body took way more time and effort than I realized—I didn't know just how much until I wasn't doing it anymore, and suddenly had time on my hands.” Sunset wrinkled her nose. “If I had, maybe I would have stopped being a bitch sooner.”
Twilight gave her a quick kiss to stop the self flagellation before it started, and Wildsong asked, “So...full vegan or just vegetarian? A lot of the places in town have options.”
Sunset flushed. “I...don't eat anything with hooves,” she explained. “I like seafood though.” She paused, making a face. “I...don't understand the whole vegan thing, honestly. Fake meat? That stuff is so processed its…not really food anymore, and it smells awful. Dairy substitutes? Have you ever heard a cow complain when they need to get rid of some milk--they aren’t quiet. Plus it's impossible to make good baked goods without eggs.”
“Eh. It's not for me—I like bacon and eggs way too much. But I can at least respect people who choose to be vegan or vegetarian or whatever, as long as they respect that I choose to eat dead cow. You're chill with me eating a burger at the table, right?”
“Just don't wave it in my face, and there's no problem.” Sunset gave Twilight a playful wink. “Sparky though, has to brush her teeth before I’ll kiss her.”
“It was one time, Sunset Shimmer, and I said I was sorry!” Twilight pouted, but she was also fighting a laugh. It had been awkward and upsetting at the time, but now it was almost a joke.
“I’ll have Glam pack the travel size mouthwash just in case then.” Wildsong chuckled in amusement.
Glamour giggled. “Oh this is going to be so much fun! I can't wait! We need to get going though—we’re getting together with the rest of the floor for a movie marathon this afternoon. Talk to your parents, Twi, and let me know if coming down that Thursday evening is okay?”
Twilight nodded, even though her cousin couldn't see it. “I’ll ask them when we take our dishes downstairs, and I’ll text you then, Glamour.”
“We’ll let you two get back to making out. Looking forward to meeting you in person, Twilight, Sunset! Later!”
The phone beeped as the call ended, and she set it to the side. “So...I guess we’re going on a double date with my cousin and her girlfriend.”
“Yeah. Sounds like.” Blue-green eyes sparkled. “Right now though? I’m more interested in doing what she suggested.” When Twilight looked at her blankly, Sunset grinned and flipped them so she was on top. “Making out,” she murmured in explanation by Twilight’s ear, hot breath causing her to shiver. “Thoughts?”
Twilight answered with a kiss.