For once, Twilight was not particularly keen on getting out of bed right away when she woke. Her sleep—if one could even consider calling it that—had been almost nonexistent, and she woke feeling groggy and far more tired than she had been the night before. Falling asleep had been nearly impossible on its own after her discovery that Sunset hadn’t just been avoiding her because of the unresolved fight—the older girl had actively locked herself away from Twilight. Learning that had sent her back to her room in a numb haze, where she’d ignored the whining Spike to sit numbly on the bed and stare blankly at the wall for what might have been minutes or hours, until something inside her broke with the knowledge that she had driven her very best friend in the whole world to a point where she would cut contact—even temporarily—so completely that Twilight couldn't even try to apologize.

She couldn't even blame Sunset. It was wholly, utterly, entirely her own fault. And so Twilight had fallen to pieces, curling up around Sunset’s pillow on the redhead’s side of the bed, and sobbed like her heart was breaking—it had certainly felt like it at the time. In the end, it had been hours after Twilight had climbed the stairs that unconsciousness had finally taken pity on her and she had passed out in a snotty, hyperventilating, miserable ball with a pounding headache and red, sore eyes.

Yet even that mercy had been short lived. Shapeless nightmares had cast her repeatedly into distorted mindscapes, full of twisted forests or warped hallways, urban hellscapes and storm-wracked wastes… In some she was searching for, chasing, missing something she never saw, always just too slow, too far behind, to find it. In others, figures tormented her in various ways, some fashioned to resemble real people she knew, others monstrous parodies that blew past ‘uncanny valley’ tumble straight into ‘horror movie antagonist.’ And every single one, ended with her dragged to barest awareness to gain the knowledge she’d been dreaming nightmares before she was dragged back under to drown once more in her subconscious fears.

Twilight knew she couldn't lay there forever, though, and she shivered as she left her bed—her room seemed colder than ever before. As the dark haired girl went through her basic morning routine, she used it to think about literally anything else but the night before—which worked handily until she’d stepped into the shower. Then her brain took advantage of the white noise and closed-off-from-the-world nature of the shower to pummel her again with the knowledge that this whole mess was solely and entirely her fault. She had been beyond unreasonable—and over what? That her girlfriend should spend time with her old friend?—to the point that Sunset had ultimately been driven away, driven to locking her bedroom door…presumably because she thought Twilight might…

Might what, exactly? Continue to press the issue about Wallflower? Browbeat Sunset into capitulation? Heartlessly get her digs in about things that Twilight very well knew made Sunset feel awful?

Her eyes burned and she began to shake; despite the heat of the water, Twilight felt icy cold inside. Sunset was the bravest, strongest person she had ever met. She had come through terrible trials, and even if she’d lost herself for a while, she had come through it without losing the intelligent, caring person she had buried for so long. The redhead wasn't just strong or resilient…she was inspiring, meeting challenges that left Twilight grasping blindly, and she met them with confidence and plenty of clever wit…So many times she’d stepped up without being asked to stand as a shield between Twilight and Twilight’s own fears, anxieties, and struggles, without a murmur of complaint or sign that she was bothered at all by the burden she’d shouldered.

To know that that same fiery girl, as bright as the sun and as proud as a lion, had felt terrified enough to hide and cower in what had been meant to be a safe refuge…all because of the one person who should have been defending her against all comers?

It was wrong.

Twilight felt her eyes burning again, and her throat ached, but she struggled against it. She had cried last night…now she needed a plan. She needed to make this right. Starting with an apology…nothing further until she opened her mouth and admitted her fault, her failing, and her guilt freely.

No matter what Sunset’s response might be, that had to happen. Too many talks with Sunset that had divulged bits of her history had made something quite apparent: no one ever apologized to Sunset when they hurt her. In fact, most never seemed to ever see they had done anything wrong, and in those cases where adults had gotten involved between children, Sunset had always been treated as the aggressor, the problem, not the victim…even when she was the victim.

So an apology was vital. Twilight had messed up, had been terrible…but she wasn't like those people in the past. She was able—even if it had taken a blunt reality check from her father—to admit her mistake and make amends. It was what people were supposed to do, especially when they hurt people they cared about.

Cady had taught her that, years ago, after a much younger Twilight had witnessed a bad fight between her brother and his girlfriend. Shining had been angry, and yelled at her with something ugly, something that had made Cadence burst into tears and run to her room. Twilight had yelled at her brother, then chased after Cady…

The six year old peeked into Cadence’s room. “Cady?” She crept in and shut the door behind her, before crawling onto the bed to hug the teenager. “I told Shining that he’s a big mean stupid jerkface.”

Sniffling, Cadence hugged her back, crying and laughing a little at the same time. “Did you?”

“Uh huh. He was mean. Why was he mean? I thought he loved you…”

The pink haired girl frowned sadly. “He does, Ladybug. We just had a fight, and we both said some things we didn't really mean…” When purple eyes just stared at her in confusion, Cadence sighed and did her best to explain. “Part of loving someone means that you let them in. They learn your secrets and you learn theirs. It can be a risk—they could use those secrets to hurt you, but part of love is trusting them not to. Unfortunately, even people who love each other more than anything in the world fight, or get angry, and sometimes when that happens, we say things we don't mean. Remember when you took apart Shining’s bike?”

She sure did—Shining yelled at her, told her she wasn't his sister anymore and didn't talk to her for weeks. “…yes…”

“And he said a lot of things that hurt really bad?”

“…he didn't want me as his sister…”

Fingers ran through the child’s hair. “And did he mean that?”

“…no. He said sorry for it later. After I said sorry for his bike.” Twilight sniffled.

Cadence nodded encouragingly. “Right. It happens…but when you do get upset and fight, the most important thing is to say you're sorry and show that you mean it, because hurting people like that, even with words, is not okay. Especially if it's someone you love.”

She considered it for a long minute. “How do I do that?”

“Show that you mean it? Well, that depends on the person and what you did or said, but…I’ve found that asking them how to make it right after you apologize is a good place to start…”

Fingers absently worked soap into her hair as she began to construct her plan going forward. Her goal was to apologize to Sunset. That came with several steps, the most difficult of which was proving to be working up her…courage…to go to Sunset. Would Sunset even want to talk to her yet? Would seeking her out now be welcomed, or should she wait? Her parents’ words about letting Sunset have space had stuck with the teen, and she didn't want to push her away further when what she really wanted was to apologize…

As the logical part of her planned and the anxious part began asking questions and imagining all the ways it could go wrong, a hopeful third part of her mind tried to shape a best case scenario. It offered up several potential solutions, based on her independent readi—research, plus Cady’s conversations with her, and even times her father or brother had needed to apologize. Twilight’s logical side dismissed Shining’s trick of copious flowers—it was far too early in the morning for any florist to be open, after all. Plus, she noted with a spike of anxiety, apology flowers pretty much screamed ‘romantic relationship’ and her parents couldn’t miss something so blatant. The same went for possibly planning something for Valentine’s Day next week—any complicated plans would be hard to conceal, plus she needed to apologize sooner…

Even if coming out to her parents and admitting she was actually dating her fiery haired best friend was a pretty declarative way of showing Sunset how much she meant to Twilight…

No…none of that would work.

But…it didn't have to be complicated or showy to work, did it? Their date for the meteor shower had been fairly simple after all, and left no one the wiser…

Twilight could see it now. She could go find Sunset in her room, knock, and ask to talk to her alone. Her girlfriend would let her in…Twilight could then apologize. A real apology, citing all the things she had done wrong and offering recognition that she had been in the wrong with what she had said and done…

Sunset would accept it—at least, she hoped that the other girl would. She…didn't seem like she wanted to hold grudges, at least, not since Twilight had known her. Plus, if she wasn't interested in at least hearing Twilight out, wouldn't she have just left last night instead of risking staying and bumping into Twilight?

And then, after they talked a bit about it, Twilight could invite Sunset out to brunch…maybe? There was a little café not too far from the cluster of stores they both loved, about three blocks from the used bookstore they loved and next to this second hand store Sunset liked to browse.

That was if Sunset was amenable to Twilight furthering her apology with an activity, of course. Perhaps instead of a specific destination, she could see about offering Sunset the choice of if and what to do? Would that be a more appropriate way of showing her sincerity and remorse for her behavior?

The more Twilight considered it, the more sensible her plan seemed. It left things mostly in Sunset’s ‘court,’ so to speak, dealt with her own actions in a fair and honest way, and was strictly short term without too many assumptions based on incomplete data. Even if it hit a few snags, or certain parts didn't pan out, at least the core of it should succeed. She smiled as she finished rinsing her hair, feeling positive for the first time since the conversation with her father in the car the night before. It was all going to turn out okay…

Those thoughts kept her going as she finished her shower and got dressed, giving her the chance to plan out exactly what she would say when Sunset let her in to talk. She had to get it right, and she discarded several short speeches for not quite conveying what she wanted. It took until she was finished in the bathroom, and her hair brushed and tied back in a ponytail before Twilight had something that she was satisfied with. Now all that was left was walking down the hall and knocking on Sunset’s door.

The dark haired girl stared at her reflection, taking a deep breath. “You can do this,” she told herself, wishing she was as sure as she sounded.

Twilight exited the bathroom and turned towards Sunset’s room instead of her own, gathering her courage. Her steps took her to the door and she knocked, her stomach twisting unsettlingly when the door moved away from her knuckles loosely. “Sunny?” she called hesitantly, pushing the door open further to see into the room.

Her stomach sank to her toes at the sight of the empty bedroom, the falling sensation coupled with its earlier churning to make her feel slightly nauseous. Swallowing reflexively, she let her eyes scan the bedroom, every sense clawing at her with some instinctive knowledge she couldn’t articulate that something was horribly wrong with the room. It looked off, with the sheets and bedding twisted and half trailing on the floor, some of them even wadded up and shoved under the bed. It sounded wrong, as if the insulation in the walls—something she rationally knew was no different to the insulation in the rest of the house—was somehow trapping and eliminating all noise entirely, leaving the room far too quiet and still. It felt wrong, the way the air currents from the now open door rubbed against her skin, too hot and stifling, like a summer attic instead of a winter bedroom. It smelled wrong, the heated air tainted by sweat and a faint acrid odor she couldn't place, mixed up under the even fainter whisper of Sunset’s scent of ‘sunshine, summer, and leather’…

Her imagination shivered with the suggestion of an all too real conclusion: Sunset, her Sunny, caught in the grip of a nightmare like before, suffering and unable to wake, with no one to hear her cries, no one to hold her when she finally came out of it…no one to let her know she was safe and cared for no matter what the demons of her past might say to her… Shame twisted a knife in her chest; whether she triggered the nightmares or not was an irrelevant factor, because had she not been so selfish, so blind, Sunset would not have had to face the darkness alone.

It made her even more determined to find Sunset and apologize.

Twilight considered for a minute, trying to decide where Sunset most likely was if she wasn't in the bedroom the family had given her. The most likely answers were either downstairs in the kitchen or living room, or in Twilight’s room—the latter would suggest she was doing what Twilight had attempted to do. She’d start there, then go downstairs if that turned out to not be the case.

She’d taken all of three steps towards her own door when a sound from outside sent her organized thoughts scattering to the four winds like a flock of frightened birds. Twilight knew that rumbling roar from her driveway with the same familiarity she felt about the smell of her girlfriend’s jacket, or the husky sound of her voice when they were alone—it was Sunset’s bike starting, before falling into the purring, thrumming idling sound. And that sound could only mean one thing.

Sunset was leaving.

Panic drowned out any other thought, and the teen tripped over herself in her mad rush for the stairs. Sunset was leaving, and Twilight couldn't let her go before she apologized. If she left…

No. She couldn't. Not without Twilight apologizing first.

Twilight ran, taking the stairs two at a time, disregarding her own safety, practically leaping over Spike, and then stumbling as she hit the last step wrong and pitched forward right as a form she hadn't expected came in the front door.

Warm hands reached out without thinking, their owner catching Twilight mid-fall and steadying her as she put her feet under her, Sunset’s voice breaking the silence with one word. “Careful!”

The touch, the voice, they burned her senses in a way that felt so good it hurt, and she found herself scrambling mentally, trying to recall her planned apology and failing miserably. Twilight tried anyway, the words spilling out in an unintelligible waterfall of stuttered, half sobbed syllables, truncated sentences that never lasted longer than a few words, and fractured thoughts that she couldn't manage to make the shape of with her tongue.

“Twilight,” Sunset said, her voice gentle but firm. “Stop. Breathe.”

The dark haired girl stopped, and they stood like that for a moment, time itself grinding to a halt as purple eyes met blue-green, both of them just taking in the sight of the other.

Sunset looked tired, and her eyes stormy. Her posture was stiff, far too stiff around Twilight, lacking the open welcome and subtle physical contact that existed between them. Twilight blinked back tears at the tangible proof that she had hurt Sunset deeply—even the night they met, Sunset had never been adverse to her touch.

This time, her voice worked, though it was a weak, broken thing. “…Sunset…Sunny…I…I’m so sorry…I…you didn’t deserve…”

Tension eased just a fraction, as those eyes searched her, not just her face, but seeming to peer right into her heart and soul. Whatever the taller girl found must have satisfied her, and she reached out, catching Twilight’s upper arm in a squeeze. “…I know…and…we’ll talk about it…but not right now.”

Confusion made her frown, her eyes falling to the floor and Sunset’s hand moved to tip her chin back up. “Hey…look at me, Sparky…” As she raised her eyes back to her girlfriend’s—she was still her girlfriend, right?—that amber skinned hand moved to cup her cheek, thumb brushing over Twilight’s lips. “We’ll talk about it, work through it…but not right now. What you said last night stirred up a lot of stuff…stuff I need to sort through.”

The tears that had been welling up spilled over. “Sunny, I—”

Sunset used her thumbs to wipe away the tears. “I’m not angry at you, Twilight. I am…upset. You…what you said hurt, and we need to talk about it for a lot of reasons. But right now, I’m not in a good headspace to have the conversation we need to have. I need some time to deal with all the things that got stirred up, or I will get angry and say things I will regret. Things you don’t deserve to have thrown at you because I’m angry and being a bitch.”

Biting her lip, Twilight asked, “…are we still…?”

Casting a quick glance around, Sunset leaned forward to kiss Twilight’s forehead. “You are still my best friend in the world, Sparky,” she answered, then tilted her head to rest their foreheads together briefly, voice lowering to a whisper meant for Twilight alone. “…and my girlfriend, as long as you still want to be. I’m just asking for some time to work through a few things, that's all. Can I have that?”

Twilight nodded as best she could, remembering what her parents had said, about respecting Sunset’s needs and wishes, as well as her own earlier promise to let Sunset have the final say about the apology and the conversation they needed to have. “…take as much time as you n-need,” she croaked out, her throat tight with emotion.

Her girlfriend gave her the faintest of crooked smiles as she stepped back into her own space. The unspoken, invisible barrier was still present, but seemed less now about Twilight’s actions and more about Sunset’s own emotions. “…we’ll be okay, Twilight. Just…give me the week to get my head on straight, and we’ll try again next Friday, alright?”

“I’ll be here,” Twilight managed, her own smile faint, weak, and watery. “…and I really am sorry, Sunset…for last night. I was wrong, about a lot of things…”

One last brush of amber fingers touched her cheek, and then Sunset’s warmth was gone. “…thank you, Sparky…for saying that much…it…” Sunset’s eyes blinked moisture back rapidly. “It means more than you know to hear that.”

With that, the redhead bent to grab her backpack off the floor, and then she was gone, leaving Twilight cold and alone in the hall, wishing that the week was over already…

*authorial laughter*

*offers no explanation*

*gleefully goes off to work on more chapters*