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Cross the Rubicon: Choices

by Majadin

Chapter 121: Chapter Ninety Four: In the Middle

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Chapter Ninety Four: In the Middle

Hopping out of her father’s car, Twilight barely looked back as she called a goodbye and shut the door, not really hearing the words that the car door slamming cut off. Her mind was already elsewhere—continued tests with her portable tracker had led her to random locations for seemingly no reason, and she needed to refine its design. That meant disassembling it and redoing several core components, and she’d spent most of her Sunday sketching and refining schematics for those parts, and she could finally act on those ideas.

The halls had a surprising number of students in them given how early it was, and Twilight did her best to remain out of their way as she hurried to her lab. The path there had never felt so long as it did now, with the sensation of eyes periodically boring into her back, and she wondered if it was in part a trick of the light. Maybe it was the early hour, or the fact that it was winter, but the school felt unnaturally dim…

By the time she escaped into the safety of her lab, Twilight was more jittery than if she’d drunk three cups of coffee in short order. She took a few minutes to lean against the back of the closed door and breathe, trying to calm her racing heart and dispel whatever the feeling was that had come over her in the hall. It was highly irrational, and the dark haired teen scolded herself for it, before dropping into her chair and retrieving the updated blueprints for her tracker.

Deft fingers worked the screwdriver to start disassembling the device into its component parts as Twilight added to her audio logs on the project, her voice steady and even as she detailed her thoughts, her theories, her intended alterations to the device in hopes of refining its detection…

Only to be interrupted when the door slammed open, the startled yelp escaping her as she practically flung her scanner across the room in her surprise. Twilight tried to calm her racing heart as parts from her device went skittering everywhere, disrupting the perfect layout she'd created on the desk in front of her, and her keen ear caught the tell-tale tinkling sound of delicate components being rendered into useless shards.

Wallflower eyed her with an odd expression Twilight couldn't parse, a strange gleam in her eyes. "I swear, I should rename you Twilight Kitty...” she commented in her flat, dry tone. “Then I could film the way you look when someone jump-scares you and post it up on a page for startled cats—I bet if you had a tail it would be straight out behind you right now and puffed up just like my neighbor’s cat."

The other girl's lips twisted in something resembling a faint smile, but it seemed somehow…off…to Twilight, for reasons she couldn’t explain. She cleared her throat, seeking clarification when the confusion did not resolve after a dozen seconds or so. “Am I safe to assume you were attempting some kind of humorous joke, Wallflower? I’m afraid I seem to be lacking some kind of context for it.” At least Wallflower never seemed to mind her asking.

Her friend stared at her for almost twice as long as Twilight had, until Twilight shifted, feeling uncomfortably akin to an insect under a microscope. Had Twilight misinterpreted entirely what was said? Surely it had to be humor, since they were friends. Sunset teased her all the time, and it was one of the many ways she showed her affection and attention to even the smallest actions. At last, Wallflower’s smile twitched just a hair, and she answered. "Yes Twilight, it's a joke. One of those things people do. Well done."

Twilight shook her head a little, turning her attention back to consider how to salvage the mess her workstation was now in, only to have to suppress another yelp when a firm hand grabbed her by the shoulder. "Oh no way, Twilight, not after the conversation I just had in the hall. No disappearing into nerd-land right now for you, kitty-cat,” Wallflower told her flatly, physically tugging Twilight away from the desk. “Cinch grabbed me, and I'm now grabbing you. We have an assembly to attend, and apparently you are Cinch's guest of honor—I can't see any other reason she’d take time out of her day to ensure you made it."

It was times like this that Twilight hated her difficulties with reading people. As always, the green haired girl’s delivery was emotionless, but for a brief second, she thought there was something else layered beneath the normal indifference. A fleeting thought went through her mind, that she wished Sunset were with her, because her girlfriend was exceptionally good at both deciphering and explaining people’s emotions and behaviors in a way that always made sense to her.

The thought was knocked away when the grip on her shoulder became a grip on her upper arm, and Wallflower made to lever her up out of the chair by force. She made a vague sound of protest—she was capable of getting up on her own, after all—and tried to pull away from the other teen’s grip.

Wallflower gave an exasperated sigh, and pulled on her again. “Look, Twilight,” she said, terse now. “I might be your friend, but no friendship is worth Cinch’s displeasure. Get up and let’s go, before the principal comes for you herself, because if that happens, its my head. So if you’re having one of your little weird Twilight Sparkle emotional fits or whatever, just…deal with it later. We have to get to the auditorium now.”

Suddenly the rough words and invasion of her personal space made sense. Wallflower was her friend, but Principal Cinch was an intimidating woman, and it was completely reasonable for her to fear reprisal if she failed the task the administrator had given her. Twilight herself had no want to be on the receiving end of the principal’s temper either, and she realized that Wallflower’s actions, unkind as they appeared, were merely the actions of someone trying her best to keep them both out of trouble, and Twilight wasn't helping matters with her behavior.

She gave herself a little shake and replied in a voice smaller than she would have liked, "I'm sorry Wallflower. Let me just straighten my uniform and we can be going. I don't want you to get in trouble with Principal Cinch.” Her friend smiled in response, an expression that seemed to hold more than a little satisfaction, though Twilight assumed it was because she had finally gotten the message Wallflower was trying to impart on her.

Once in the hall, the green haired girl kept harrying Twilight with little pokes and none too gentle prodding that left her feeling even more off balance than normal, leaving her to stumble awkwardly over her own feet. If Wallflower hadn't been her friend, Twilight would have found the constant and unwanted intrusions into her personal bubble as not just unpleasant but also upsetting. As tactile as she was with people she cared about, she didn't care much for being touched by people she didn't invite to initiate contact.

In order to distract herself from the growing discomfort, she started to ask a question. “We didn't have an assembly scheduled for today. Did Principal Cinch say—”

“Don't get distracted, Twilight. We don't have time. Just focus on getting to the auditorium—preferably before Cinch starts, not after, like the principal wanted. And no, I don't know what this is for. I didn't ask, because honestly, I don't care that much.”

There was a surge of emotion through her that Twilight almost wanted to label as resentment, which she did her best to squelch. Wallflower was her friend, and for all her abrasive tendencies, she meant well. This was likely just the way in which her friend’s anxiety and stress manifested, as biting commentary and aggression. Twilight herself knew just how badly a person’s behavior could be affected by those feelings, and how they could make someone act in a way that wasn't nice to those around them.

Her own anxieties over being potentially late to whatever this assembly was began making her worry, and she tried to hurry along faster, focusing on not tripping over her own feet in the process. It didn't help much, as not more than twenty seconds later she stumbled. She would have gone crashing to the floor painfully if Wallflower’s grip on her upper arm hadn’t hauled her up short, tightening so forcefully in the process that Twilight was concerned she might develop a bruise from it.

“Oh for the love of—seriously, Twilight, get your head out of whatever useless doohickey you're daydreaming about and pay attention? We’re almost there, and we’re cutting it close as is. I really don't want to get a tongue lashing from Cinch.” Her tone shifted from exasperation to something Twilight couldn't place. “And if you're worried about whatever piece broke, don’t. Just ask your dad to buy a new one when he picks you up later. I’m sure he’ll be happy to.”

Confused and unsure, Twilight tried briefly to puzzle over why Wallflower’s tone had turned momentarily ugly at the mention of her father. Her father picking her up from school was such a normal, prosaic thing, something parents did, as far as she was aware….but maybe that was the problem. Her friend had made a number of mentions of parents who seemed a bit absentee—was it possible she was envious of Twilight having parents who paid attention to her?

A forceful tug on her arm snatched the thoughts away and sent a jolt of pain through her shoulder as she almost tripped again, and Wallflower caught her awkwardly. She opened her mouth but once again she was cut off by her friend as the auditorium door was jerked open.

“....just move Twilight. We can talk once we’re inside and won't get in trouble with the Wicked Witch of West Canterlot.”

Twilight gave up on trying to talk in favor of freeing herself from the grip on her arm and heading for an empty seat that was towards the back and well away from anyone who had it out for her. If she tried to say anything right now, she was likely to bungle it—her agitation and anxiety had risen too high for her to communicate effectively. Unconsciously, her fingers found the key on the lanyard hidden under the formal uniform, pulling it out to run her fingers over the bumps and ridges to sooth her emotions and bring her back to something akin to equilibrium.

Wallflower plunked herself down a moment later next to the dark haired teen with a heavy sigh. A lot of the tension seemed to bleed out of the other girl as she slumped into the chair and kicked the seat in front of her. Twilight decided that it was proof positive that Cinch’s words had intimidated her friend badly, and resolved not to mention the bruised ache in her upper arm and shoulder.

“Looks like we’re right in time to sit here like adoring little minions while our Supreme Leader favors us with her attention and wisdom.” Grimacing, Wallflower rolled her eyes. “Probably for how to achieve the perfect life of emotional solitude and detachment from such human failings as love, empathy, and compassion.” Twilight thought she detected a faint sarcastic lilt to the words, one she was used to in Sunset’s voice when the redhead was being snarky, and she decided that Wallflower was attempting to cover up her earlier distress with humor. In response, she offered her friend an uneasy smile, still trying to calm her own emotions.

Fingers traced the key again, counting each ridge and contour, and calling to mind Sunset sitting next to her, leaning close to murmur in her ear. She could practically feel amber fingers closing around the hand gripping the house key. “Deep breaths, Sparky,” Sunset’s voice echoed through her mind. “I’m right here. You're safe…”

Her breathing eased, and she started to relax, only to be interrupted by the reality of Wallflower replacing the fantasy of her girlfriend. Mental Sunset dissolved away with a frown toward the green haired teen, and Twilight fought the urge to mirror it as she tucked the key back safely under her shirt. “What did you say?” she asked, aware that the other girl had spoken to her.

Another eyeroll and her friend whispered, “I was saying ‘Who knows? Maybe certain rumors going around are true, and she feels we need a lecture on the iniquities of being distracted from our studies by temptations of the flesh.’ Wouldn't that be something? So much for CPA’s oh-so-important ‘reputation.’”

‘Temptations of the flesh?’ What could Wallflower possibly mean by—

Twilight’s brain ground to a halt as memories rose unbidden, memories from half a dozen incidents in the hall in the last few weeks since the incident in the locker room with Indigo.

“Sparkle! Is it true? Did Suri really catch you with her boyfriend in the locker room?”

“I heard it was behind the bleachers after school.”

Twilight tried to push the thoughts away, but more floated up from her subconscious mind.

“Hey, Sparkle, I heard that your tuition is being paid for by the old one knee approach. Couldn't Mummy and Daddy afford to pay the old fashioned way?”

The rumors were bad enough, but the brutal fashion by which some of her peers were trying to pry into her personal life was worse in her book.

“So what kind of boy does it take to get the great and brilliant super genius Twilight Sparkle to look up from her books? He can’t possibly be attractive at all, because…well, look at you! If you were any more of a huge dork, you’d be dressing like an eighty year old librarian.”

Anxiety rose as she shook herself out of the memories, warring against her better judgment with a painful need to know what Wallflower. Taking a slow, deep breath, she imagined holding hands with Sunset in her mind, until she would swear she could feel the strength of warm amber fingers squeezing hers, that strength flowing from her girlfriend into her. How would Sunset deal with this?

“Just ask casually,” she imagined Sunset saying. “Like you want clarification, not details. She looks eager to overshare anyway, and you are both just killing time.”

Right. Easier said than done, but…

“It…would have to be some kind of particularly salacious rumor for Principal Cinch to call a surprise assembly—she’s a busy woman with a very important job, and it is a Friendship Games year.” Twilight was proud of the fact that she managed to speak without her voice giving her away. “She doesn't really possess enough free time to be concerned with the day to day drama of teenagers.”

At her side, the mental projection of her redheaded girlfriend gave her an encouraging, crooked smile, one of the smiles that always made butterflies swarm in her stomach and her heart skip a few beats. It was almost unfair that even in her imagination, Sunset was able to affect her like that. “That’s my girl!” Or that even a fake version, created by her mind and memories could somehow still manage to possess enough of the real Sunset’s charismatic personality and inflection to turn her insides to jello.

Wallflower shifted her gaze towards Twilight and gave a slow, laconic shrug. “Twilight, you should know by now that certain people are never too busy when they have a chance to exert their control or drive home how immoral and disgraceful the behavior of teenagers today is. After all, we’re all headed straight for a life in the gutter or on a street corner without them providing strict structure and guidance.” Her tone still managed to convey sarcasm despite the complete lack of emotion. “Adults do that, it doesn't matter who. Parents, teachers, librarians, cops, even that little old lady in the park feeding all the pigeons, they all just want to police our lives to tell us all the things we can’t do. Which usually amounts to anything that would feel good, make us happy, or make us be anything but obedient little adults in training. And they especially want to control teenagers’ sex lives.”

Twilight’s ears grew hot, and she shifted uncomfortably, her nose wrinkling before she could stop it. “While on some level that may be true, Wallflower, do you really think the principal will lecture us about it?”

The green haired girl studied her intently for a minute, before rolling her eyes. “Twilight, if she’s paid attention to even half the rumors I have, she’ll be salivating over the chance to do so.”

Something in her tone made Twilight’s stomach shift and squirm unpleasantly, and suddenly she didn't want to know about these rumors. The Sunset in her mind’s eye squeezed her hand, making her feel warm inside for a different reason. “Whatever it is, you're not alone, Sparky.”

It was a comfort Twilight soon found herself grateful to have, as her friend began detailing some of the rumors she’d heard in the halls from other students. The ones relating who had been caught cheating on who were bad enough, but the last rumor Wallflower started describing—about one of the senior girls and a number of boys from the football team—made her feel downright ill.

What relief she might have gained from the fact that none of the rumors involved her or the incident in the locker room showers was drowned out by the way Wallflower was talking now.

“I don't know how much is true, of course, but she kinda seems like the type to enjoy three guys from the team pinning her down all at the same time. I can't see them being overly interested in her otherwise—she’s not exactly a runway model.” Wallflower shook her head.

Twilight swallowed both bile and words, feeling like her skin was crawling with the half remembered touch from the boys in the park, trying to fight off the way her brain fixated on the rumor and its similarities to her assault. There had been four of them that night, after all, and they’d made their intentions clear…

“Twilight…” whispered that warm voice in her ear. “Breathe. It didn't happen, and I made sure they won't hurt you ever again. It’s okay.” The mental form conjured by her mind gave Wallflower a dirty look before turning a smile on Twilight. “And if she’s talking about something that bothers you like this, ask her to change the subject.”

That was a good idea. Even an imaginary Sunset seemed capable of helping Twilight find practical solutions to problems. She opened her mouth to speak, but it was at that moment that the lights in the auditorium dimmed and Principal Cinch stepped out onto the stage with all the regal bearing of a queen, becoming the instant focus for the whole school.

Wallflower fell silent immediately—Principal Cinch was legendary in the school for her ability to zero in on someone who was not paying her sufficient attention and respect, and unspoken but equally legendary was how she could reduce the most arrogant of students to a quivering wreck with little more than a stare and a few deliberately chosen words. Twilight watched as the woman began her walk across the stage, not for the first time in awe of her Principal’s ability to effortlessly draw every eye in the room to her. Between one step and the next, she radiated a sense of presence and charisma that demanded attention. It was a skill that the teen had only seen in a few people in her life, though it seemed a bit different depending on the person, but it was definitely not a gift that Twilight possessed.

As one, the students in the auditorium rose to their feet when Principal Cinch began her trek across the stage, waiting with what felt like baited breath as her stern gaze surveyed them as a general might her troops. As the silence stretched, starting to become tense and full of disquiet, the woman finally spoke, her voice never seeming to rise above conversational levels and yet reaching every corner of the room with crisp clarity.

“You may be seated, students of Crystal Prep.”

Once again, the students moved, still in almost eerie silence and unison, like an army of automatons preprogrammed to function as a collective, returning to their chairs. The only sound that could be heard was the very faint rustle of clothing, as even the fabric did not want to risk Abacus Cinch’s displeasure. Twilight’s anxiety spiked, making it hard to breathe, as her principal’s face grew even more stern and pinched, gazing out at the students as if they were a group of puppies she expected to piddle on a priceless rug at any moment.

“Reputation.” The word echoed painfully through the cavernous room with all the edge of a weapon. “In this world, reputation matters. It can open…or close…doors. It can make the difference between success or failure. Your reputation as an individual affects the reputation of the institutions you are associated with.” Sharp eyes raked over the room. “And…the reputation of those institutions can improve yours.” Those eyes settled on a member of the audience. “Miss Flare, what does Crystal Prep Academy’s reputation mean to students like you?”

“The best of the best, ma’am. Crystal Prep students have the best, brightest futures and are successful. It means acceptance to almost every school worth mentioning in this country, and several internationally.” Sunny Flare answered promptly. “It also makes people listen in business and political circles, acting as an endorsement by association alone.”

“Correct. Crystal Prep has a reputation of excellence and quality, far above any other school one could name, and that reputation is passed, in turn, to its alumni.” There might have been a hint of…approval? Pride? Something…yet the Principal’s countenance darkened, making Twilight cringe in her seat, shaking.

“But,” and the word was more frigid than the weather outside, “a reputation means expectations.”

Oh no. Wallflower had been right…and Principal Cinch had to know about the locker room incident by now. Twilight struggled to draw in a full breath, seeking futilely to push down the rising panic in her chest.

“Hey…” came the soft voice in her mind, an image of Sunset reforming as Twilight grabbed for it in desperation. “Breathe, Sparky. You don't know yet what this is, and you're just winding yourself up. Don't borrow trouble.”

Twilight drew on the memory of arms holding her tight, and felt the panic recede until she could breathe again and properly hear the principal’s speech again.

“The Friendship Games are fast approaching, and Crystal Prep has a reputation to maintain. The truth is, it does not matter if this school wins the Games. What matters more is that we are expected to win. It is part of the school’s reputation—Crystal Prep Academy is leagues above some trite public school filled with the offspring of the working class, and thus, the outcome of the games should go to the superior school every time.”

Mental Sunset made a face. “Ponyfeathers…I bet she’s a real laugh at parties. This is the woman that intimidates you, Sparky? She looks like she’s just bitten into a really sour lemon.” A glance towards the stage and she snorted. “Make that two lemons.”

Part of Twilight wanted to laugh until she cried, not because she agreed with the vision of Sunset her mind had conjured up—quite the opposite, since she felt her principal was a talented and skilled woman, and her severity was just how she got the respect she was due. No…she wanted to laugh because of the sense of lightheaded relief running through her. Principal Cinch never deferred disciplinary actions for other matters. If she had been intending to make an example of a student in front of their peers, it was always done first, so that the full impact of her displeasure and disappointment carried through while she had their undivided attention. That meant that she was not about to get called up in front of the school and have strips taken off of her verbally for what happened the other week.

The teen settled on allowing herself a small smile at the fact that her girlfriend really would make a terrible joke like that, if for no other reason than to settle Twilight’s nerves. Mental Sunset gave her a playful wink. “That’s my girl,” she said, and her hand moved to toy with Twilight’s neat bun. Not that she actually felt anything, but Sunset was prone to little physical touches like that, and so her imagination supplied them to the facsimile.

A sharp nudge from Wallflower pulled her from her contemplation on Sunset’s traits and manner of dispensing affection back to the stiff and unpleasant atmosphere of the auditorium and the Principal’s speech. “Superior breed, hmm? I’m guessing Cinch has never tried to have a one on one conversation with Suri or Upper Crust.” Wallflower’s eyes gleamed with amusement, despite her flat expression and the way she never turned her head, but something about the whole thing…felt wrong, somehow.

“Speaking of lemons, Sparky, she’s a real sour one. What’s her issue?”

Twilight shook her head slightly at both Wallflower and the mental projection of Sunset. She didn't want to get caught talking over the Principal, not with one of the teachers walking past their row of seats. Not to mention, if she chose to answer a figment of her own imagination, where others could hear, they’d question her sanity. Instead, she tried to tune back into the speech.

“…field their team by a ridiculous popularity contest among the drooling masses. This ensures an even greater lead, as Crystal Prep selects our team for the Games based on skill and ability, fielding our top twelve students to uphold the reputation for superiority and excellence that this school is known for…”

Twilight frowned, finding herself disconnecting from her Principal’s spiel as the woman began to rabble rouse the student body’s ‘school spirit’ against Canterlot High even as she talked about the team selection process. The dark haired girl had no interest in where she could find the posted results of the names who had made it into the “top ten percent of performers” in the school—even with her improvements in her physicality, she was solidly average, and thus not even in the running compared to some of the outstanding athletes on the sports teams. Nor did she particularly care about the selection process that would be used in a month to pick the final members of the team as well as those who would be allowed to come on the trip to the games themselves to “support CPA’s crushing victory,” since she wasn't planning on going at all. Her project was more important, and going to her girlfriend’s school where she would have to pretend they were utter strangers as well as rivals for some sports competition would stress her out far too much.

Instead, she turned her attention to her scanning device—she knew Wallflower had broken one of the components in her earlier haste, but she hadn't seen which one. There were only so many it could have been, and she gave thought to how to replace each one if it turned out to be the broken one.

Speaking of Wallflower, her friend was still keeping up her low running commentary of Principal Cinch’s speech.

The other teen’s eyes flitted around and once she was sure the patrolling teacher had her back turned, she rolled her eyes. “‘Hail Caesar,’” she whispered to Twilight. “‘We who are about to die salute you’ and blah blah blah…seriously. Someone needs to tell her that the Games aren't the Roman Circus, and this isn't a gladiator school…” Then a smirk curled up the corners of her mouth and she gave Twilight a nudge. “Not that I’d object too strongly to some of the seniors on the sports teams battling it out wearing a leather jockstrap and oiled up like a Greek Olympiad. They're jerks, but they could still provide a girl with some nice eye candy.”

Her stomach twisted, and she could picture mental Sunset making a face. “Ugh…that’s gross, Sparky,” she could hear her girlfriend say. “Not only would they reek of sweat, they’d smell like a stale fry vat from a cheap fast food place. I need a shower just thinking about that.”

“I…think I would pass on that, Wallflower,” she whispered back. “Physique does not really compensate for a toxic personality and the way they treat me.” That was a safe statement. It wasn't overly negative, and the reason she gave was factual and logical, while not mentioning the fact that she was not attracted to men.

Wallflower stared at her for a long moment, before sighing. “You don’t have to care about their personality to enjoy the view, Twilight. Taking a few peeks at some well toned abs doesn't mean you're asking a guy to marry you.”

She didn't really have a response to that that wouldn’t potentially out her, so she shrugged and fell silent. While it was true she did enjoy the sight of a physically attractive woman—especially Sunset, her subconscious reminded her, along with a few mental images that had been the cause of more than one intense dream—she never felt quite right about ogling them, even in photos. It felt…intrusive? Crude maybe? Even the few peeks she’d gotten of Sunset were things she felt a little guilty over and they'd been accidents.

Her cheeks grew warm at that thought and her friend snickered. “Yeah. That's what I thought. Guess the high and mighty Twilight Sparkle isn't so different from the rest of us mere mortals after all.”

That only made her blush more as the vision of Sunset conjured by her imagination blew her a kiss with a playful wink.


Author's Note

Okay, cats and kittens, now we're getting into the good stuff. I hope you're prepared.

I'm sure most of you will recognize the backbone of Cinch's speech.

Twilight needs to get out of that school. Pretty awful environment all in all.

Hmmm...I'm sure that Twilight has no need to be concerned about who is on the team for the Games. None whatsoever....

Next Chapter: Chapter Ninety Five: Highway to Hell Estimated time remaining: 27 Hours, 14 Minutes
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