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Cross the Rubicon: Choices

by Majadin

Chapter 10: Chapter Seven: What You Need

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Chapter Seven: What You Need

Sunset parked her bike outside Sugarcube Corner Bakery, taking off her helmet with shaking hands. The light breakfast she’d eaten at Twilight’s sat like a rock in her gut, and her nerves were frayed. For comfort, she retrieved her phone, opening it to the text Twilight had sent her before she’d even left the driveway. The encouraging words slowed her pounding heart, the simple knowledge that if this was a disaster, she had somewhere to retreat to in order to lick her newest wounds doing more to settle her than any meditation exercise the princess had ever taught her.

Stowing the helmet, she lingered a minute, spotting the group she was meeting through the window. This was it, the moment of truth, when she faced her wardens and learned what her exile was going to truly be like. Her body shuddered as she inhaled, and she repeated the words from Twilight’s message to herself. “I can do this.”

Before she could lose the nerve she gathered, she moved to the door and opened it, feeling warm air rush passed her into the cool outside. She tugged her jacket closer, before stuffing her hands in the pockets, feeling all eyes in the store focus on her. It was a popular hangout for students, and all the ones present knew exactly who she was and how far she’d fallen. Whispers murmured at the edges of her hearing, the tone implying none of it was at all pleasant, and she closed her eyes briefly, centering herself. She deserved this, she reminded herself. Penance had to be paid, and she wouldn’t run from it, not anymore.
The sounds all seemed to stop as she stood before the table where the five heroes of Canterlot High sat, feeling like a beggar before a council of nobles. Each of them watched her with a different expression, and from most she could almost taste the emotions behind them.

Rainbow Dash, with her scowling frown, like she expected Sunset to turn back into a demon and try and fry them at any moment.

Fluttershy, half hiding in her own hair, looking like she wasn’t sure if she should run screaming now or if that would attract her attention all the more.

Pinkie Pie, whose hair seemed less wild and poofy, watching her with uncharacteristic seriousness, seeming to study her intently.

Applejack, whose poker face was surprisingly good for someone who was as brutally honest as she was, gave nothing away, but that didn’t mean that green eyes didn’t watch her every move.

And lastly, Rarity, seated beside Applejack with all the poise and grace of a Canterlot noble, eyes sharp and discerning over her cup.

It was Rarity who spoke, one perfectly manicured hand gesturing to the empty seat remaining. “Why don’t you have a seat, Sunset? We have some things to discuss, and I certainly do not fancy having to crane my neck to look at you the entire time.”

Woodenly, the former unicorn sat, folding shaking legs and sitting stiffly in the chair, trying to let nothing show on her face, the wounds in her soul tearing open again. The curt, firm tone did not bode well for this talk in her mind, and she braced herself for the inevitable.

So it was somewhat surprising when Rarity yielded the floor to Applejack. The farm girl leaned forward, and Sunset found herself shaking as they locked eyes. “Now…Ah’m gonna be honest with ya, Sunset. Ah promised Twilight that we’d keep an eye on ya, look after ya. An’ Ah know ya seemed mighty sorry when ya crawled outta that hole at the school…but Ah also know how good ya are at puttin’ on a show, tellin’ folks what they wanna hear.” She motioned towards the redhead. “Iffin this is all an act? Just one more chance ta play yer games? In that case, Ah consider mah words ta Twi fulfilled, cuz ya kin lead a horse ta water, but ya can’t make it drink.” The human adage made Sunset uncomfortable, given her origins, but Applejack continued her spiel. “…On the other hand, if yer really serious…if ya wanna change, ta be a better person, ta make up fer all the shit ya done in the last three years? Then Ah’m willin’ ta work with ya, ta help ya along, ta do what Ah promised Twi. So Ah want ya ta look me in the eyes an’ answer mah question. Ah don’t want fancy words ‘r excuses. Just the truth. Are ya legit? D’ya really wanna change? Ta build folks up instead o’ tearin’ ‘em down?”

Sunset shrank in on herself under the intense stare, and it took a minute for her to be able to form words around the lump in her throat. “…yes. I want to change—I’ve been an awful, terrible person, done so many horrible things, but I don’t want to be that person anymore,” she admitted quietly, her voice thick with suppressed emotion. “…I just…don’t know if I ever knew how to be anything other than what I’ve been…” Whatever else she wanted to say got stuck in her throat, making the lump bigger, and she curled her arms defensively around her body.

Applejack said nothing for a long time, just watching her, before nodding. “Alright then.” She leaned back, exchanging a glance with Rarity, head inclining the barest fraction in a subtle, nonverbal communication.

The designer turned her attention back to Sunset, and the trembling teen found herself on the receiving end of another stare. Instead of watching her, Rarity was looking through her, discerning blue eyes feeling like they were penetrating Sunset’s being, peeling apart the layers of her tattered soul, scrutinizing each one, taking notes, and setting it aside to look at the next. It lasted for a painful eternity before Rarity spoke. “Sunset…You’ve been going down the wrong path for so long, you don’t even know where to go from here…but…your intentions seem genuine, so I’d like to offer you my assistance.” The voice sharpened. “However, Miss Shimmer, if you decide to go back down this path there will be no more second chances.”

Sunset hung her head, a few tears trailing down her cheeks. “…thank you...I…I don’t really deserve a second chance…”

“No, darling, you don’t.” The firm tone softened as the redhead looked back up in surprise. For the briefest of moments, Sunset thought she sensed magic in the air again, the same bright energies that had engulfed her demonic self. It was weak, a flicker that didn’t last more than ten or twenty seconds, but it made her breath freeze in her lungs and almost made her miss Rarity’s next words. “But sometimes, Sunset, the greatest thing we can give to someone isn’t about what they want or even deserve…it's about giving them what they need the most.” The barest hint of an enigmatic smile graced her face, as the fashion designer settled comfortably in her chair and took another sip of her drink.

The might-have-been-magic faded, but Sunset still felt unable to breathe, the words punching right through her emotional defenses like a cheap shot to the gut. She didn’t quite sob, but tears flowed steadily down her cheeks, and she curled forward, arms still hugging herself tightly, so that her hair would conceal the droplets falling to soak into her jeans. It took her time to compose herself, and when she looked up again, it was to come nose to nose with Pinkie Pie, who had somehow managed to stretch herself across two friends and the table. Pink hands grabbed her face, mashing their foreheads together—an act that made Sunset flush with discomfort and embarrassment, even though the gesture didn’t mean to humans anywhere near what it meant to a unicorn like her. Several thoughtful sounds escaped the girl who smelled like a candy store, before she abruptly released Sunset and plopped back in her seat, hair once more looking like cotton candy and her face split by the world’s largest grin. “Yup!” she said cheerily, and was suddenly offering Sunset a cupcake from….well, actually, Sunset wasn’t entirely sure where the cupcake had come from. “We’re going to have so much fun, Sunset Shimmer!”

Sunset found herself blinking rapidly in absolute confusion, but when she looked to Pinkie’s friends for some sort of explanation, they were all staring at the pink teen with just as much befuddlement as she was. Rainbow finally spoke, her voice slow, like she was afraid of the answer. “…What…was that all about, Pinkie Pie?”

The question was ignored as Pinkie’s brain seemed to light on something else, and she skipped over to the counter to talk to Mrs. Cake. Sunset stared down at the perfect cupcake on a napkin before her, before taking a hesitant bite. That bite turned into several more, and the delicious treat didn’t last long—the last time she’d had something so delicious had been her last Summer Sun Celebration, and those baked goods had been made by the palace chefs.

Rainbow scowled at her across the table, even more irritated because Pinkie had not answered her. “…Whatever. I still don’t trust you, Shimmer. You’ve been a bitch for years, and you drove friends apart for shits and giggles. Getting all weepy and teary eyed for a few days isn’t going to change my mind. I don’t like you, and I don’t really want to be around you, but I trust you around my friends even less, so we’ll be seeing more of each other. Cause any trouble, and I’ll make you wish the other rainbow had put you six feet under.”

Fingers clenched the edges of her jacket. “…I understand,” Sunset said quietly, before waiting to see if anyone else had anything to add. Fluttershy had yet to speak at all, and guilt ate at her over it. She had terrorized the soft spoken girl more than just about anyone else, years of abuse that had seen Fluttershy quaking in fear behind the curtain of pink hair every morning. It was unlikely that would change anytime soon, and Sunset resolved to do the one thing she felt she could do at present to make up for it—minimizing contact with the shy girl so she didn’t have to deal with her former abuser trying to be all chummy.

Decision made, she stood slowly, giving them ample chance to stop her. “…I think I’m going to go home…unless there was more that you wanted to say to me?” She kept her tone carefully neutral, trying to keep any emotion that could be misinterpreted from it.

Applejack adjusted her stetson. “…Ah think we covered what we needed ta. Ya got another week in ISS, right?”

“…yes. And detention for the foreseeable future…among other punishments.”

“Fair’nuff. We’ll see ya at school then.”

Sunset shuffled out of the bakery, the whispers and more than one sticky napkin ball following her out. She held it together all the way home, parking her bike and covering and securing the vehicle before heading inside. She shed coat and boots by the couch, dropped her bag on the floor, and slunk up the stairs to collapse in her bed, face first. Only then did she come apart, sighing into her pillow and retrieving her phone from one pocket.

-I survived.- she sent.

-How’d it go?- came the near immediate reply.

-Better than I feared. Most of them want to give me a chance. Only one threatened me.- She squirmed out of her jeans and under the covers. -Now I’m just exhausted. Think I might nap, catch up on sleep.-

-Okay. We’re still on for tomorrow, right?-

-Wouldn’t miss it, Sparky.-

Yawning, Sunset curled into her blankets and fell asleep, the phone still in her hand.


Author's Note

Yes, in my head, Rainbow is the most normal teen out of all of them--so she's got a bit of a foul mouth, at least compared to the others. (I doubt its changed much, but when I was a teen, I remember that we all used "shit" and "fuck" like crazy anytime we weren't in hearing range of the adults, and I was part of the fairly well behaved, didn't-drink-or-smoke-or-break-the-law-or-get-into-trouble crowd.) As idealized as MLP can be, I'm taking a bit of a more realistic look at the human world, and especially the behavior of human teenagers.

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