“You are dangerously underqualified for this position,” Head Researcher Sugar Star snarled, taking a menacing step towards Project Director Trixie. “A Diamond Dog would do a better job advising scientists.”

Trixie frowned, pouring the amber content of her decanter into a nearby rock glass. She made a show of bringing the drink over to her snout and sniffing it, before downing the potent double in one mighty pull.

“Trixie does not need to defend her reputation before you, Head Researcher. She was selected for the position, and that is something you should respect.”

“Bullshit! The only reason you were put in this post is because Twilight Sparkle is getting under your tail.”

Trixie’s grip on the glass tightened. “I suggest you return to your duties.”

“Not until we get someone competent in charge of this team. We’re fighting a fucking war and our leadership is corrupt and full of nepotism. And I won’t stand for it!”

Trixie’s grip tightened again. “Out!”

“No! Not until I, and my entire research team, get what we deserve!”

Trixie’s grip tightened to a critical point and shattered the glass into a cloud of shrapnel, peppering both herself and Sugar in a shower of glass and bourbon.

“Do you want to know why Trixie was put on this team!” she yelled. “Do you?”

“Why?” Sugar growled right on back, ignoring the glass that coated her as she leaned over Trixie’s desk, getting right in the director’s personal space.

“Because this whole damn project is a charade, a cover up, a ruse!” Trixie screamed. “The work you are doing is pointless and all your fancy equipment meaningless! Twilight put Trixie in charge because she needed somepony to run a cover up and who better to do that than the Elusive and Secretive Trixie. Who better to do it than the greatest showmare in the world? She needed eyes turned away from who was really behind this.”

Sugar huffed, but her fury had abated enough for her to justify stepping back. “Pardon?”

Trixie got out of her seat and stepped towards a console anchored to a nearby wall. “That green goop you dip ponies into? That’s food colouring, corn starch, and water. Those injections, the ones you pump into ponies, are just saline solutions. All those fancy numbers and figures you’re getting? Guess what? All of it is just bullshit that Trixie types out to make you, lab coats, feel like you’re actually doing something important. Why do you think all the scientists here are third rate?”

“I… I got a doctorate at the University of…”

Trixie silenced her with a wave of her hoof. “Shut up. If you were actually valuable, you’d be making weapons or power armour. But no, Trixie instead has to babysit you lot. You’d think that with the combined IQ you like to brag about, you’d be smart enough to spot bullshit when you’re stepping in it.”

She booted up her top-secret console, typing drowssap into it, at which point a section of wall began to part, revealing a secret corridor.

Sugar stared at this development cautiously. “But we’re getting alicorns? So clearly we must be doing something right?”

“Well that has absolutely nothing to do with you or your team. You’re a cover up for what is really going on here.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“And Trixie hardly expect you to. Thus, she will show you proof.”

Trixie stepped into the corridor, not waiting to see if Sugar followed. Though she didn’t really need to, as curiosity struck the mare, her hoof steps soon echoing behind Trixie’s own.

“Fifteen years ago, an alien vessel crashed landed in the north of Equestria,” Trixie explained.

Sugar nodded, though strictly out of politeness. She was too busy examining how the design of this hall transitioned so jarringly away from the cold metal of a vault to the faux wood paneling of an office building. It was like something you’d find in an old Manehattan skyscraper.

They even added windows along the way, all of which looked out upon paintings and photos of nature. Some were realistic, while others were more abstract. Still, it was a refreshing break from the sameness of the laboratories.

“Do you really expect me to believe in aliens?” Sugar finally asked, arching a brow.

“Like Trixie said, proof is coming.” She sighed. “While she isn’t sure of all the contents of the crashed vessel, Trixie knows for a fact that two things of importance were recovered from the site. An advanced portable computer, that puts anything Equestrian to shame, and an alien survivor. Both of which are within this site.”

Sugar pursed her lips and said nothing more as they approached a door at the end of the corridor. It was simple, made of wood. You’d find a door like it in any town in Equestria.

“And research showed,” Trixie explained. “That when the alien used this computer, he was able to manipulate the traits of the pony he was describing. He could make a green pony blue, he could make a mare a stallion, and he could even… bestow Alicornhood on anypony he wanted.”

Sugar snorted. “That’s fucking ridiculous.”

“And yet, that’s the truth. And that’s why Trixie was put in charge of this project. Not because she’s some fancy scientist, but because the Princesses needed to employ one hell of a cover up, and who better for the job than herself.”

They stopped before the door. Affixed to it was a humble-looking brass plaque.

Sugar Star leaned forward to read it.

M. A. Larson

“W-what does the M. A. stand for?”

Trixie shook her head somberly. “No one knows.”

“And if this is such an important secret, why are you telling it to me?” Sugar asked.

“You aren’t the first researcher to ask about it and you’re not the first I’ve ever had to explain it to. Do you remember Head Researcher Bumble Hooves or Head Researcher Chance?”

Sugar snorted, making a show of rolling her eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous, I’ve been the only head researcher on this project.”

“Well as far as you know,” Trixie said, growing a hint of a smile.

“What does that mean? I’ve been here since the site opened.”

“Remember how I said that Mr. Larson could rewrite anything about a pony?”

“Y-yes…”

“He could also write them out of existence.”

Sugar’s blood ran cold. “Wait, are you…” She stepped back. “No!”

“You really shouldn’t have crossed Trixie,” she said, shaking her head sadly and putting her hoof against the door. “Come along, Sugar, it’s time to meet your maker.”

Yes... all the Head Researchers are in fact named after Bad Dragon toys.

Also two new fics in this series dropped! The Enchanted Library: The Secret Chapters and The Clocktower. You should really check them out.

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