Before I get started with this one, I just wanted to give a shout out to this alternate take on the concept by fellow author CrazedLaughter. The basic idea was that my version of Kevin wasn't as aggressive as he should have been, and so CL decided to do a version of his own. And truth be told, I do think that story gets the character better than I did, so definitely check that one out

There was no question that the creature casually floating above the outer edge of the Canterlot garden maze was about as bizarre and difficult to understand as any pony could ever think of. He basically looked like what you'd get if a child was asked to draw a monster, and then they just cobbled together a bunch of different animal parts into one and called it a day. But Discord was unconcerned with such things, as he was currently more engaged in watching his quarry down below. Twilight and her friends, all scurrying through the maze like rats in a trap. It brought him immense delight to see ponies once more being tormented by his awesome powers of chaos, and as he looked from one mare to another, he couldn't help but chuckle at the whole thing.

"Muahahahaha! Oh yes! Now this is the good life!"

Sadly, his time enjoying this moment was brought to a screeching halt, as was his solitude, when all of a sudden, he turned to the left to suddenly see a hand coming straight towards him. Now, most wouldn't expect the Lord of Chaos to just get casually slapped around, and yet here was just such a slap, right to his face, resulting in the expected level of cheek-rubbing you'd expect.

"OWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!" he exclaimed.

The slapper, Kevin, looked to his boss and fumed.

"Discord, sorry to interrupt your...whatever it is you're doing, but don't you think you maybe have more important things to do right now?"

Discord, having swiftly recovered from the unexpected blow to his face, regained his smirk as he regarded his assistant.

"Kevin, my dear boy, I've been imprisoned for a millennia! Surely you can't expect me to just get down to business without a little fun?"

Kevin rubbed the bridge of his nose with an exasperated sigh.

"Ugh! Sir, with all due respect, you have the power to do anything! You are quite literally a God in this scenario, yet instead of just snapping your fingers and winning the day, you're just floating about watching everything play out!"

Discord rolled his eyes.

"I'll do my chaosing how I please, thank you very much! Besides, even if those mares make it safely to the centre of the maze, they won't find the Elements. I've got them neatly locked away in Twilight's home and..."

"Wait...you already have the Elements?" Kevin interrupted.

"Yyyyyyyyyyep!" Discord responded.

"The one thing in all the world that can turn you to stone again?"

"Yyyyyyyyyyep!"

"And you decided to hide it...in the home of the one person who can actually use them?"

"Yyyyyyyyyyyep!"

A silence, but it didn't last long, as Kevin allowed a vein to throb in his forehead for a moment before deciding to state the bleeding obvious.

"THEN WHY DON'T YOU JUST DESTROY THEM?!?!"

Discord shrugged.

"As much as it pains me to say, I can't do that. The power of the Elements is stronger than me, hence why they alone could stop me."

Kevin calmed down, but only a little.

"Okay, fine, but why not snap and send them into space? Or into the centre of the Earth? Or, I dunno, anywhere the ponies can't get to them?!"

Discord chortled.

"Oh, I have plans. Twilight and her friends will be quite unable to use them, I assure you."

Kevin gestured to the ponies below.

"Even if that's true, you have more than enough opportunity to do away with them right now. It'd be easy! Just snap and turn them to stone! Problem solved!"

Discord folded his arms, looking away as though insulted by the proposition.

"Hmph! I don't turn ponies to stone!"

Kevin blinked.

"Am...am I seriously going to have to explain to you, of all people, why taking the moral high ground isn't a good idea?! You're the villain here! You doing the upstanding thing just doesn't make sense!"

Discord looked to him with mischievousness.

"Pfft! Where's the fun in making sense?"

To that, Kevin buried his face in his hands.

"Oh my God...that statement really does sum up everyone I've worked for in my life, doesn't it?"

Discord reached over, giving him a quick pat on the shoulder.

"Don't worry, we're gonna have a blast watching all this chaos play out. Maybe one day I'll turn the sun into a chicken! Won't that be fun?"

Kevin, lowering his hands, stared at him blankly.

"...Well, I guess that finally settles it. Lawful Evil really is better than Chaotic Evil."

Discord looked utterly incensed by that.

"How dare you, good Sir! I am Discord! And I will not be mocked by some lowlife human!"

He brought his face right up to Kevin's, looking like he very much had a sinister plot in mind.

"You want me to just snap and solve my problem? Alright then, I'll snap and get rid of the very thing annoying me right this second!"

"Yeah, one of my last employers already poofed me out of existence with a snap, so not really feeling the terror there," Kevin pre-emptively responded, his voice containing not even a hint of fear.

Discord, taken aback for perhaps the first time in his life, stepped away slightly.

"Huh...wow...you really have been around the block a few times."

Kevin shrugged, and Discord finally sighed.

"Ugh! Fine! If it'll give my assistant peace of mind, I guess I'll just go for the boring, straightforward option."

He glared at Kevin quickly.

"You really are no fun, has anyone ever told you that?"

Without further ado, the Draconequus raised his claw, then snapped his fingers. In a flash, all six of the mares below were gone, leaving only an empty hedge-maze. Kevin glanced around, seeing that they were indeed gone from view, before looking up again to his master.

"So...did you kill them?"

Discord stroked his beard, pondering that.

"Hmmm, more or less. I've sent them to places where they're unlikely to give me trouble after today."

A raised eyebrow from his assistant.

"Such as...?"

Discord shrugged again.

"Places you suggested, like space, the centre of the Earth, maybe stuck in a few glaciers here and there. You know, all separate and deadly. I doubt I'll ever see them again."

Kevin folded his arms, allowing himself a smirk for once.

"And now the only ponies capable of beating you are gone, yes?"

Discord paused, then realisation slowly came to him.

"Huh...I guess so. Wait...is this what it's like to take the easy option? Why didn't I do this sooner?! Why didn't I do this with Celestia and Luna?!"

He turned to Kevin.

"I never thought I'd ever say this to anyone, but thank you, Kevin."

The human gave a salute.

"No problem, Sir. Anything else I can do?"

Discord thought on that for a minute, then smiled devilishly.

"As a matter of fact..."

Another snap, and when the subsequent flash died down, Kevin was now dressed head-to-toe in a clown outfit, much to Discord's enormous amusement, judging by the way the latter was guffawing right now. Kevin, looking down to his new attire, released a resigned sigh.

"Yep...this is gonna be a long assisting job."