"I can't believe I thought this job was going to be fun." Black Jesus said, as he stamped an approval on a shipment of Old Spice Colts Scented Body Wash.

"I warned you it wasn't going to be any fun." Princess Luna said, giving him a playful look. "Celestia gets the fun part of the job. Except in wartime... then my job gets exciting."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Basically, I'm the head of our armed forces, while Celestia gets to handle the politics and shit. Meanwhile, you handle a little bit of everything, as well as everything related to Old Spice." Princess Luna said.

"Hmm... so what do you do for the armed forces?" Black Jesus asked, trying to keep the conversation going, so he wouldn't lose his sanity from the boredom.

"Oh, you know. Manage troop deployments, order weaponry and stuff, that type of thing." Luna said, "Right as we speak, I'm ordering a bunch of new firearms to replace our main infantry's aging M4's, MP5's, M240's, and M9's."

"What are you planning to buy?" Black Jesus asked, finishing up his paperwork for the day and turning towards Luna.

"As per your brothers recommendation, the HK416 for infantry and the Bushmaster ACR for airborne, as well a the FN P90, the LSAT LMG, and the HK USP to replace our SMG's, LMG's, and handguns, respectively." Princess Luna said.

The couple then sat there in complete silence for a few minutes before Black Jesus cleared his throat and began to speak, "So... uh... wanna take a break and do something?"

Luna dropped her pen on the desk, put her laptop on stand by, and turned to Black Jesus. "What do you have in mind?"

Judging by the mischievous look Black Jesus gave her, Luna guessed he something really fun in mind.

Princess Celestia was having the day of her life. There was no petty bullshit at her court today. Hell, barely anypony showed up. So, after closing up shop, she ran into Rambo Jesus, who, despite being a complete hardened bad ass, was actually very chivalrous and invited her out for lunch. And after a much needed release (no secks for over 3000 years can be tough; very tough), she decided she needed to spread her joy to her sister and her boyfriend.

So, she knocked on the door to their study.

"Go away!" Luna shouted.

Celestia smirked, ever the troll, and walked in, hoping to interrupt whatever important work they were working on. However... they certainly weren't doing work...

"Dear Chuck Norris! It's bigger than Big Macs!" Celestia screeched in shock, before fainting in a comical manner.

"Warned her." Princess Luna said with a sigh. Black Jesus only chuckled slightly, blushing from the embarrassment of being walked in on.

Meanwhile... on the other end of the planet, delegates for the nations of Griffondore and the Canine Union were busy arguing about what to do about "the Equestrian menace".

"We need to send them pics of dicks! Lots of dicks!" An old dog croaked.

"What?! I think the old dog went senile, guys." A griffon retorted, earning cackles from those surrounding him.

"Shut up with your dick talks, old dog!" A bull dog shouted at the aging delegate, "we need to send in Canine Spetsnaz to assassinate the Princesses and Black Jesus!"

"Fuck that shit! Our SAS operatives would do it much better than your Spetsnaz." The Griffon in charge of the Griffon military's special operations shouted at the bull dog.

"PENIS! PENIS! PENIIIIIIIIIIISSS!"

"I just shit myself!"

"Ramble ramble ramble!"

"ENOUGH!" A dark robed figure shouted at the top of his lungs, as thunder started to boom in the distance and ominous music started playing.

"And turn that shit off!" The robed figure shouted. He walked to the middle of the room, smelling heavily of Axe body spray, aka, the devils spray. "Our mission, my compatriots, isn't to kill just the Princesses. We're talking about the complete destruction of Equestria."

"What?! Why would we-" A young diamond dog began to object, but was interrupted as the robed figure picked up with his evil Axe powers and snapped his spinal cord and neck, before throwing the limp body across the room.

"Anymore objections?" The robed figure asked. There were none.

"Good. I want you mobilize your military and have it ready to deploy by Chapter Seven. Understood?" The robed figure asked.

"Yes dark master!" The delegates responded in unison.

"Good... good... dismissed..." The robed figure croaked, before disappearing in a flash.

"Sorry about... scarring you, Tia'." Luna apologized, giggling a little to herself.

"Screw... you..." Celestia mumbled, glaring daggers at Luna.

"To be fair, I DID warn you not to come in." Princess Luna said, smirking. "You gave Black Jesus quite the heart attack."

"That you did..." Black Jesus muttered.

"Oh for Chuck's sake, Black Jesus, quit your moping." Princess Luna teased, "so Tia, what is it you wanted?"

"Oh yes! I almost forgot! I wanted to know if you guys wanted to have some fun." Princess Celestia stated, making a squeaking noise as a big grin spreading across her face.

"Alright, I'll bite. What type of fun?" Black Jesus asked.

After asking this, a golden aura formed around Princess Celestia's horn as she teleported herself, Princess Luna, and Black Jesus out of the room.

"Spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike!" Applebloom called from outside the library in a sing-song voice. "Get out ere' Spike!" After a few seconds of no answer, she rushed into the house and galloped up stairs, where she found Spike sleeping in his bed.

"Spiiiike! Wake up!" Applebloom shouted at Spike.

"Huh... what?" Spike asked groggily, still half asleep.

"Ah said... git the buck up!" Applebloom shouted, pushing Spike out of bed. Spike fell out of bed and landed on his face, his nose breaking on contact with the floor.

"Alright! Alright! I'm up!" Spike proclaimed, getting to his feet and holding his nose to control the bleeding.

"Did you learn yer lesson?!" Applebloom demanded, slapping Spike across the face.

"Bitch, you slap me again and I will pimp slap your ass so hard that you will grow fucking zigger stripes." Spike threatened, realizing that what he said sounded kind of off.

"Ah guess that's fair." Applebloom stated, "Ah'm sorry fer hitting ya and gettin yer nose broken."

"Whatever. I got some pimping to do." Spike said, putting on his pimp outfit and hat, then pulling his jewel encrusted pimp cane out of the closet, as well as a jewel encrusted Colt 45. "You wanna come along?"

"Yah. But just remember that ya are my bottom bitch." Applebloom stated, as they walked out of the room together.