There are No Ponies in Equestria

by TheDriderPony

Chapter 1: No Ponies in the Castle

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No Ponies in the Castle

Five of the six Bearers of the Elements of Harmony sat in their respective thrones within the Castle of Friendship, patiently awaiting the last of their number. Some, more patiently than others.

"Where is she?" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, breaking the silence that had filled the room ever since they had run out of new things to talk about some minutes ago. "Twilight said to be here at lunch and it's nearly an hour past and I'm starving!"

"Ah'm sure she's on her way, sugarcube," Applejack drawled from across the room. "Probably just got herself all wrapped up in some new project or other."

Spike nodded. "She was starting something new this morning and looked pretty eager about it. " He stood up suddenly from his courtesy mini-throne. "How about I go make us some snacks to tide us over?"

"Oh that would be lovely Spike, thank you ever so much," said Rarity, taking a moment to look up from the embroidery work she'd brought to pass the time with.

With a quick scurry of claws on crystal, the little dragon was out the door and down the labyrinthine hallways toward the kitchens. Meanwhile, Applejack shot Rarity a look.

"Rares, don't you think it's a mite shameful to keep usin' him like that?"

"What?" she asked innocently, "He offered."

Just then, the doors were blown open by a stressed-looking alicorn flying at high speed. She came to a screeching halt mere inches from hitting the table before launching into a verbal waterfall. "I'm so sorry everyone! I had my hands full with a new project and just got so completely wrapped up in it that I completely lost track of time! And just when it was starting to go well I found some new and novel bugs in the system and had to... to... Why are you all staring at me like that?"

A strange and unreadable set of expressions had settled over the faces of her friends. As with most silences, Rainbow Dash was the one to break it. "What do you mean by you having your 'hands full'?"

Twilight's eyes went wide as the pupils shrank. Despite this, she put on a tense smile as though nothing was wrong. "Hands? No, I said hooves. I had my hooves full."

"No," AJ countered, "You definitely said hands."

"Oh, maybe I did then." She laughed nervously, "Just a little slip of the tongue. Hands is... ah... a foreign word for forward grasping appendages. Like hooves. It's something of a regional term."

Applejack's eyebrow ascended skeptically. "Ahuh. What region?"

"The... minotaur lands. Yes. There."

"Really?" Fluttershy cut in, "Because in all the time I spent with Iron Will, I don't think he ever referred to what he had as anything but claws or graspers."

Once more Twilight seemed to seize in panic. "It... I... You see... ah fiddlesticks." She hung her head in resignation. "Well, I suppose now is a good a time as any. I've been putting it off far too long as it is."

Raising her head, Twilight walked to her seat at the table and stood in front of it. Though she held her stiffly, a small tremble of fear still made her legs quiver beneath her. With an audible gulp she swallowed back her reservations.

"Girls. My friends. I have a confession to make. This is something that is... rather difficult to share, and I hope that you won't hold it against me for hiding it for so long."

"Silly Twilight," Pinkie smiled as she gave her a comforting pat. "You're our friend! And there's nothing you could tell us that's going to change that." The rest were quick to agree.

"Darn right."


"We got your back Twi, whatever it is!"


Some confidence restored, Twilight took a deep breath and let it go slowly, letting some of the tension leaving her body with it. "Alright. Here goes. I... am not Twilight Sparkle."

For a second, no one moved. "Also not a changeling!" She added before anyone could misinterpret. "I am me, the pony who came to Ponyville and met you all and helped stop Night mare Moon, I just... wasn't always."

Silence continued to be the dominate force in the room as Twilight studied the expressions of her friends. Applejack was stonefaced, completely unreadable. Rainbow Dash was similar, but her twitchy wings betrayed her discomfort. Fluttershy had pulled even more of her mane in front of her face than usual, leaving almost nothing visible. Rarity was somewhere between disbelief and suspicion. Pinkie was... smiling? A wide smile too, one of her knowing grins. Why would she be smiling? Then again, it was Pinkie. She'd probably somehow known from the start.

Eventually, Rarity restarted the conversation. "That's... certainly a claim Twi- ...er, should I call you Twilight?"

The alicorn who was not Twilight nodded. "It's fine, I've been Twilight for so long that I'm comfortable with it."

"Hold on, back up." Rainbow Dash interrupted. "So... you're not Twilight?"

She shook her head. "No."

"Well, what happened to the real Twilight?"

She cringed at the implied meaning of her being the not-real Twilight. "I... don't know. Maybe I replaced her, maybe she never existed? If it makes you feel any better, none of you ever met her. I became Twilight before I came to Ponyville."

"Maybe you should start at the beginning," Applejack suggested reasonably, her face still a mask.

"Yeah, at the very beginning." Pinkie added with a giggle and a smirk.

"I- Alright. From the beginning then. Here goes. A long time ago, I was not a pony. None of you will have heard of it but I was a creature called a 'human'."

Somepony gasped under her breath and Twilight looked up but there was no indication who it had been. She continued.

"I had a boring and normal life for most of it, until one particular day in my early twenties. I was walking home when I saw this truck heading down the road, way too fast and out of control. The light at the crosswalk turned green, but no one moved... except for this little girl with headphone on. She didn't see the truck. So I did what anyone would do. I jumped in and pushed her out of the way. Unfortunately, there was no one to save me."

There was another gasp, and Twilight spotted this one. It came from Fluttershy, whose one visible eye was already glistening with moisture.

"I floated in darkness for a long time, or at least... I think so. Time was... strange. Then a voice came to me. It thanked me for saving the girl and apologized. It hadn't been my time to die yet. The voice said it couldn't send me home, but instead, it could send me to a new world. A world of magic and monsters and adventure, like the kind in stories. Naturally, I agreed. As a final farewell, the voice said it would bless me with incredible magic so that I could live a comfortable or adventurous life as I chose to."

Twilight took her seat heavily, a weight gone from her chest. "When I came to, I was in my chambers at Celestia's school and a few weeks later I was sent to Ponyville. And the rest, as they say, is history."

She raised a hoof and rotated it in front of her face. "Mind you, I never expected to be a pony. I had thought I'd stay human when I got wherever I was going."

"Well what'd you expect?" Pinkie asked, "With great power comes great nerfing. Imagine if you had magic and hands. Magic hands! You'd be unstoppable!"

Twilight couldn't help but crack a smile at her antics. And the distraction had eased her mind from the tenseness of the situation.

"Still," Pinkie continued, "I'm so glad you finally told everypony cause now I don't have to keep my 'Twilight finally reveals herself' cake on hand anymore, which is good cause that thing was getting staaale!"

"Pinkie, you knew?" she gasped.

The party planner shrugged. "Eh, wasn't that hard to figure out when you know Twilight like I do."

"This has to be the craziest thing I've ever heard." Rainbow Dash shook her head in disbelief. "You could make a book out of this. I bet it'd fly off the shelves."

"Pfft. I dunno," Pinkie replied easily, "The isekai genre is pretty oversaturated as it is."

That caught Twilight's attention. There were a lot of... inconsistencies about Pinkie Pie, both the one she had watched and the one she called her friend, but this was something she could not let slip past. "Pinkie... how to you know that word?"

"Surprise!" She declared as streamers and confetti rained from the ceiling. "It's actually a double reveal party! I get to use both my Twilight Reveals Herself cake and my Pinkie Reveals Herself cake!"

Twilight's eyes boggled. "Wha... Pinkie... Don't tell me you're-"

"A human too? You betcha!"

Twilight reeled back in shock, as did several other of her friends. Another human? In Equestria? And of all possibly ponies it was Pinkie Pie? Which, actually, explained quite a lot.

"Did you also get hit by a truck and meet a god?" she asked.

"Ha, nope!" Pinkie gigglesnorted, "I just bought a Pinkie Pie hair clip off this kinda creepy merchant at a convention. Next thing I know, Bam! Pow! Straight to the moon! Or rather, straight to the rock farm."

"Well that does explain your regular pop culture references..."

Oblivious to the emotional rollercoaster she was sending Twilight on, Pinkie addressed the seat across the table. "How about you Rarity? You wanna make this double reveal party a triple?"

The fashionista stammered and sputtered for a moment before settling down and sighing. "Well phoo. Way to out a girl, Pinkie."

"Hehe. Sorry."

"Rarity... you too?" Twilight's voice cracked.

"Yes, yes. Me too. Though I can't imagine how Pinkie knew."

"It's cause you have no fashion sense."

"Pinkie!" Twilight scolded.

"No, no, she's quite right." Rarity admitted. "I have no idea how fashion works. I just... throw stuff together and ponies keep buying it. Sometimes I try to remake things I remember watching the original Rarity make, but mostly it's just whatever colors look nice together."

"But you're a premier designer! You own multiple boutiques!"

"And I'm also a former geologist who toughed it out through six muddy years of college on four shirts, two pairs of pants, and five bras," she countered "Fashion is fine and all but you can't forget practicality."

Rarity sat back and lazily twirled a lock of mane in her magic. "I suppose since Pinkie already outed me I might as well share my story too, though I'll be brief. For a time, I lived in a rather large city with a not insignificant homeless population. One day, a scruffy man accosted me for some change. It was early, I was tired, and I was... rather rude towards him and said some very unkind things. Little did I know, he was a wizard. As I walked away, he cursed at me in a foreign language and said that he'd 'teach me a lesson about generosity'. Then I tripped and hit my head. When I woke up, I was Rarity as a filly, forehead still bleeding from smacking it into the boulder that led to her cutie mark."

She stopped twirling her now slightly knotted mane and turned pensive. "I've always assumed that the original Rarity died when she hit her head and my spirit took up residence. But given the sudden influx of other former humans, I'm beginning to have my doubts."

Twilight's mouth opened and closed uselessly. Rarity being another former human was one thing. After Pinkie, she could just about wrap her head around that. But finding out that Rarity isn't into fashion? It was unbelievable.

"But... if you don't like fashion, why are you so invested in it?"

"Because I'm Rarity," she replied, "And Rarity is the fashion horse. Remember I thought I was the only human here. I didn't want to disturb future events, so I played my part and acted the prissy fashionista, even when I had to cringe at my own ham-fisted acting or act ignorant when I knew how things would turn out."

"So you're really not into fashion?"

"I'm afraid not, but I do like the gemstones. You should see my basement sometime. Between crystal lenses and unicorn magic I have quite the expansive mining operation."

With a thunk, Twilight collapsed onto the table like a deflating bounce house with a person still inside. "I can't believe it. All this time, I thought I was so alone. And yet not one, but two of my friends were in the exact same boat as me and I never knew."

"Actually..." Twilight glanced up at the apple farmer sheepishly rubbing the back of her neck. "Since everybody else seems to be feeling particularly honest today, you'd better adjust that number to three."

"Applejack," Fluttershy whispered, "...your accent."

"Yeah, I've been faking it," She said as clearly and crisply as a spring brook. "I had to fit in with the rest of the family didn't I? Wouldn't make sense if one pony sounded different."

"So what's your story then?" Pinkie asked as she dolloped more green icing into a piping bag which sat next to a half-iced orange cake that read 'Applejack Rev-'.

Applejack removed her stetson and sat forward in her throne, hooves as arched as her eyebrows. "Technically, this should count as a national secret, but given the circumstances it's probably fine for me to tell you. To make a long story short, I used to work for a secret government lab. The type that makes America's Area 51 look like a public museum. Some project, not mine, a few rooms down from where I was working went haywire and exploded. There was a terrible noise, a flash of colors, and the next think I knew I was crash landing through the roof and into the hayloft of the Sweet Apple Acres barn. The rest of the family seemed to know me, so I played along. Did chores, put on the accent, and ate apples like everyone seemed to expect me to. And everything was fine and simple until Nightmare Moon showed up a year or two later."

"Oh, oh!" Pinkie interrupted, practically hopping out of her throne. "Since you used to be a scientist, did you build a super secret science bunker beneath your house like Rarity did with her mine and filled it with all sorts of advanced scientific equipment and technology?"

Applejack gave her a level look. "No. How on earth was I supposed to do that? Just because I used the tools doesn't mean I can make them. Besides, there aren't any circuit boards in Equestria let alone the facilities to manufacture them."

Meanwhile, Twilight turned to stare at Dash, making the pegasus ruffle her feathers uncomfortably. "What?"

"Just get on with it already, I'm not even fazed at this point." Twilight deadpanned.

"Alright, fine." Rainbow Dash finally stopped hovering and took a seat. "You can count me and Flutters in the former human club too. We already knew about each other."

"And with that," Pinkie smiled, "We've got the whole set!"

"So what's your story then?" Applejack asked, "Died? Cursed? Science gone wrong?"

"None of those. I remember I had just bought the latest and greatest VR headset. Top of the line, not even on the market yet. My uncle knew a guy in the industry. I got home, plugged it in, turned on the demo. A big splash of color fills my face and suddenly I'm on top of a cloud about to race some bite-size bullies with rainbow hair in my eyes. No VR I'd done had ever managed to pull off flight before, but this one did it great! Responsive, so intuitive, and as realistic as you could ask for. Then Fluttershy fell and I went to catch her cause I figured it was a starting quest. Took me two days of flying and goofing off before I realized I couldn't log out." She shrugged, "And I've been here ever since."

"So... you thought this is a video game?"

"Eh, maybe? I could also be in a coma. Don't really care because either way I've been having a pretty great time."

"But... a video game?"

"I was on a nature hike... " Fluttershy murmured, "I got separated from the teacher and the rest of the group. It started to rain so I went into a cave. It was dark and I tripped and I fell and fell and fell. There was this bright light beneath me, and a few minutes late Fluttering Breeze gave birth to me.

"Ew," Pinkie declared as she began mixing a batch of yellow icing. "TMI, Fluttershy. TMI."

"You properly reincarnated," Rarity commented with a small noise of surprise. "You've actually been Fluttershy from the very beginning."

"Mhm. Also, when I was still human I used to have terrible equinophobia, so being Fluttershy has really helped with that. Sort of."

A loud smacking noise drew everyone away from the smaller conversations they had started to drift into. It was Twilight, smacking her head on the table over and over, using the staccato beat to punctuate each word.

"Literally. This. Whole. Time. Everyone. Was. A. Human."

She sat back up, an angry red welt already beginning to heal. "And here I am! Having run myself ragged trying to make sure we stick to show canon and I don't disrupt anything, when it literally didn't matter because literally everyone already knew what was going to happen!"

"You're not alone in this Twilight, " Rarity said comfortingly, "We've all been putting on personas to try and maintain the canon. Although," she laughed nervously, "Admittedly I only watched up to season five, so I've been winging it since then."

"Season seven," Fluttershy admitted.

"I only watched it with my daughter on occasion, so all I had was a scattering of episodes," Applejack added.

"I have no idea what you're all talking about now."

Five sets of eyes turned to Rainbow Dash. "The show?" Twilight prompted, "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic? Where all these characters and their adventures take place?"

"Never heard of it."

"Wait," said Applejack, "So you haven't been acting like a tough, sporty, flying-obsessed braggart just to stay in character?"

"Uh, no? I've just been me. And don't diss flying. Flying is awesome."

"Huh. Go figure."

"To be fair," Pinkie added, "I was basically a lot like best pony even before I became her. I just ham it up a bit for canon adventures."

"So now that we know we're all humans," Applejack asked, "What do we do with this information?"

Rarity shrugged. "I guess we can stop putting on airs? Start being true to ourselves and all that."

Applejack eased back down into her chair and reapplied her hat. "I guess. Though I've been in character for so long, I know some of it's melted into my actual personality by this point." Such as how wrong it felt to not have a hat on.

Pinkie was just about to comment when she noticed a curious expression on Twilight's face. "Twilight? Are you okay?"

The faraway look faded from her eyes as Pinkie Pie's comment brought her back down. "Huh? Oh, yes. I am. I just... now that I know I'm not the only human in Equestria, a lot of small inconsistencies I've noticed are starting to come together into a much bigger picture."

"How do you mean?"

But Twilight didn't respond as within her head, gears and cogs were meshing together like never before, connecting together memories of odd Freudian slips and unusual mannerisms. "I need Spike," she announced at last, "I need to send a letter to the Princesses."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Fluttershy ventured, "What if the princesses think we're crazy?"

"Or possessed?"

"Or changelings?"

"Or possessed by crazy changelings?"

The alicorn just shook her head. "If I'm right, and more than ever I think I am, they won't. Spike!" She hollered down the hallway.

"Coming!" Echoed back after a moment, soon followed by the familiar clicking of claws on crystal. He came around the corner with a huge tray of delicious-looking sandwiches, crusts pre-removed. "It's not much, but it should hold us over until- oh hey Twilight."

"Spike," she said, suddenly serious, "I have something very important to ask you."

He nodded. "Shoot."

"Did you used to be a human?"

The dragon froze. His eyes darted between the six sets watching him in a remarkably similar reaction to Twilight's own several minutes before.

"H-human? I, uh, don't know what you mean."

"It's alright Spike," Pinkie called, "Twilight used to be one herself."

"We all did," Rarity added.

His eyes focused on her. "Rarity? You... used to be a human?"

She nodded, and the dragon sank to the floor. A moment later, he jumped back up with a fist pump."Yahoo! Oh yes, finally!" He continued as he transitioned into his happy dance. "So long species barrier! Oh you have no idea how happy this makes me!"

"I think we've got some idea," Pinkie giggled.

Twilight merely rolled my eyes. "I take it that's a yes then?"

Remembering himself, Spike ceased his dance. "What? Oh, yeah. I used to be a human." He made a small bow. "Michael Smith, pleasure to finally meetcha."

She nodded in response. "Jack Kirby."

"Mary Brown," said Rarity.

"Cherie Clarke", Pinkie added, "Though 'Pinkie' is still fine."

"I don't remember," said Fluttershy.

"Johanna Schmidtt," said Applejack, "I'm also fine with my pony name."

"Chad Kaschak," Rainbow Dash declared as though she were announcing a prize winner.

"Oh, she was a guy." Pinkie muttered in realization, "That explains so much."

While the introductions had been going on, Twilight had scribbled out a quick scroll and wrapped it up. "Anyway, I need you to send a letter to the Princesses."

"Before that," Spike cut her off, "If we're doing secrets then I've got another one to tell, which I now feel a lot better about sharing since we're all people."

"What, are you a changeling?" Rainbow Dash snorted.

"Ha ha, yeah," he laughed as green fire consumed him, "I guess it was pretty obvious in hindsight."

The whole group fell back in panic, the less combat-savvy ponies hiding behind their thrones while the rest took up fighting stances. Twilight found herself stuck in the middle.

"Spike!" Twilight cried, "You're a changeling!"

"Uh, yeah?" the changeling said with Spike's voice, "I thought we just agreed that everypony knew that."

"I was joking!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

"How long have you been a changeling?!" Twilight demanded, thoughts of humanity dashed as they were replaced with worry over the safety of her precious friend and assistant.

"Since ever?"

That brought her up short. "Ever?"

"Yeah, since always," he confirmed, "When I landed in Equestria, I was already disguised as a dragon egg in a storeroom. A couple hours later I was taken to a testing room and faked a hatching when you showed up. You're welcome, by the way. That light show was not easy to pull off."

"So you've always been a changeling?" she clarified, finding herself more open to believing the unbelievable today, "There never was a Spike the Dragon?"

"I've looked, but never found a trace of him." He chuckled to himself. "Man, and here I was thinking that the green fire was a dead giveaway."

"Wait, a second," Applejack cut in with a worried expression, "Do the other changelings know? That you're a human?"

"Oh yeah, totally. You know, hivemind and all. Also," he turned to Twilight, "Sorry about Cadence's wedding and everything I said and did there. I didn't like throwing you in the caves, but I had to stick to the script, you know."

"What?" Twilight asked in confusion, "But that was Chrysalis, not you."

"Didn't I make that clear? Hivemind. One consciousness, lots of bodies."

"You mean..."

He nodded. "I'm all the changelings. From Chrysalis to Thorax to Ocellus, they're all me."

"Wait, even-"

"Yes Pinkie, even him," he said with a slight blush that was quickly out-classed by Pinkie's beet-red full-face flush of embarrassment.

"Well that is... a lot to take in and process," Twilight said slowly, "But that also seems to be the theme of the day so moving on!" She held up a scroll. "Can you still send a letter to the Princesses?"

"Oh sure." With a flash, he was a dragon again, and one puff of fire later, the letter was on it's way.

"What did you send them?" Rarity asked.

"Well, you see, I remembered noticing some strange things in old equestrian law and and ancient diplomatic treaties. A lot of particular phrases that kept cropping up. I thought it was just cosmic coincidence before, but now I have my suspicions it may have been more than that."

"You think ones of the princesses might be, you know, like us as well?" Fluttershy asked hopefully.

Twilight nodded. "It's a possibility, though I don't know which princess it might be. So I sent them a very particular passage that, if I'm right, at least one of them will recognize immediately and let us know. And if not, I can claim it's some scribblings I didn't mean to send."

Rainbow Dash scoffed. "I don't buy it. What could you possibly have written that could out them so easily?"

Twilight gave a sly smile and began reciting.

"Space," she quoted, "The final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship: Enterprise. Its continuing mission: to explore brave new worlds. To seek out new life and new civilizations. To-"

"TO BOLDLY GO WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE!" Luna finished at full royal Canterlot volume as she teleported into the room with a shimmer of rainbow sparkles. Rather than her usual regalia, she wore a fitted yet unmistakable uniform consisting of a yellow shirt with gold rimmed cuffs and black pants. She embraced the younger princess the moment she finished materializing.

"Oh, Twilight I'm so glad! I knew we'd find someone, somewhere who'd get our message and what providence it happened to be you!"

"Star Trek?" Applejack asked incredulously. "You got her to admit herself with Star Trek?"

Through her smooshed face, Twilight managed to reply, "You should read the early Equestrian diplomatic proclamations when you get a chance. They cribbed most of it from the Prime Directive, not a small amount verbatim."

"It's in the tax code too." Luna broke off her hug. "You'll find quite a bit of the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition there." In an instant, Applejack found herself wrapped in royal blue magic and soon after, royal blue forelegs. "Dear Applejack, you as well? You get my reference?"

"I'm pretty sure most of us get it, Princess." Rainbow Dash confirmed with a smirk. "Though I would have gone with Star Wars."

"Or maybe Battlestar Galactica," Fluttershy voted softly.

"Farscape!" Pinkie contributed.

"You would say that," Rarity countered, "Though it's really just a reimagining of Buck Rogers."

Tears crested the edge of Luna's eyes. "You... all of you? You're all from Earth?"

"That's right. Humans every one." Spike said through bites of his sandwich.

She released Applejack from her death grip and spread her forelegs wide as if to encompass the whole group at once. "Oh how wonderful! After so long alone! If only my sister-"

"TO BOLDLY GO WHE- hang on... Luna! I told you to wait for me! I had to find my pips!"

Princess Celestia's outfit was much like her sister's, only it was one piece with red instead of yellow and six little metal pips on the collar.

"Celestia, you too?" Twilight asked.

"Yes Twilight." Luna said gravely," I'm sorry to have to tell you, but your beloved teacher," she dropped to a harsh whisper, "Is a total nerd!"

Celestia gave her a shove. "Like you're any better Miss 'Let's put fandom references in legal documents and treatsies!'"

"Well it worked, didn't it? Behold!" She spread her forelegs wide once more, "Finally more transformed humans!"

Celestia's eyes went wide. "The Elements? All of them?"

"And me." Spike added, "Or, you know, just forget Spike. That's how it works in canon after all." They ignored him.

Celestia walked to her student's side. "Twilight, why did you never tell me you used to be a human?"

"How would I possibly start that conversation?"

"I suppose that's fair."

"And what about you!" Twilight rebutted, "How long have you been Celestia?"

"About," her expression turned quizzical. "Five hundred years, give or take. Right, Luna?"

"I'd say closer to six, but thereabouts. And no, we don't know what happened to the Celestia and Luna who defeated Discord or existed for the four centuries after that."

"So how did you two get here?" Pinkie asked as she pulled yet another two color-coordinated reveal cakes from nowhere.

The two eldest alicorns shared a look. "Just like we rehearsed?"

"It's been decades since we've practiced, but of course."

"To begin with," Celestia started, "We are in fact sisters, even before all this."

"Indeed. Long before now, we both were-" she paused, "Given the circumstances, I think we can amend out the explanation about humans and earth and other dimensions."

"Good point." Celestia sighed dramatically, "So much for the routine we've been readying for centuries."

"Anyways, it all happened when my sister and I were going to a convention."

"I was taking a semester off college and it was her high school's Spring Break."

"One of the big things at the convention was a Star Trek event. Some decade anniversary, I forget which."

"Aside from countless actors and writers attending, they also had recovered a lot of the original sets and props."

"So my sister and I, being the hardcore nerds we were, wanted a photo standing on the bridge."

"But the line was too long, so we went to the transporters first."

"Just as we got into position and the photographer asked if we were ready, the convention center was struck by a bolt of lightning."

"All the lights went out, except for the prop ones on the transporter console, which only seemed to get brighter."

"There was a bright flash, and suddenly we were in the Canterlot Observatory tower, winged and horned and hooved."

"That was a couple centuries ago," Celestia concluded their dialogue, "And we've been living as the Princesses ever since."

"So does this mean I don't have to call you 'Princess" anymore?" Applejack asked, "Since, y'know, you're not? And because of how were all so much closer now?"

The Royals shrugged. "We could care less," Luna replied, "We tried to get Twilight to stop for nearly two seasons after she ascended, but years of hero worship and fangirlism is hard to break."

Silence fell in the room.

"So..." Celestia ventured, uncharacteristically short of words, "We never actually planned on what to do next after we found some more humans. Any ideas what we should do now that all this is out in the open?"

A contemplative silence filled the room. "Drink?" Pinkie offered as she pulled a long bottle out of her mane. "I have strawberry schnaaaaaaps~!"

"...Sure," Luna agreed easily, "I haven't gotten proper drunk in decades."

"I guess it's fine," Twilight relented, "It's not like we need to try and preserve a timeline anymore."

"Sounds like a party," Spike said, "I'll bring over some stuff from Berry's Tavern."

"Spike!" Twilight chastised reflexively, "You're not old enough to drink. Or... I guess... huh. Maybe you are."

"Y'know, I'm probably older than you Twilight."

"Enough talking!" Rainbow Dash complained, "Toss me that bottle Pinks! This is an awesome day and I just found out that all my best friends are as awesome as I secretly was! It's time to celebrate the human way: with booze!"

Caught up in her energy, the rest cheered along as she bit off the bottle cap and began to chug like the frat boy she had once been.

Author's Note

...I don't know what this is. I don't even know what genre to tag it as.
It's not a story, not really. It's just... a thing. A thing that exists.
A stream-of-consciousness idea that wouldn't leave me alone yesterday.
Probably be another chapter tomorrow, but I have no idea after that what this is or where it's going.
Also might go back and give this a thorough overhaul at some point, as it is very stream-of-consciousness.

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