AN: two chapters in one day? I'm smothering you guys. If my summer continues to be as boring as it is now, I may continue to try to write two chapters.

When surprised, most ponies will react upon instinct. The typical reaction is fright, but not mine. It also didn't help that I was a target for assassination, in which the element of surprise is often used. My reaction was much more than just fright, it was also a bit more lethal. When the lights came on and a very loud noise was emitted, my reaction was to charge up a much more powerful version of the shield spell I used on Rainbow Dash earlier that day. The main difference between the two spells is this one had a tendency to kill your average pony instead of knock them out.

The noise almost stopped immediately as soon as they saw my horn light up. The awkward silence that followed was deafening.

Twilight was the first to speak up "Uh Sigma, what are you doing?"

Realizing my foolishness, I quickly discharged my spell.

"Twilight, whats going on?"

Instead of Twilight, I got Pinkie Pie.

"Its a surprise party, DUH."

Fascinating, your reaction to a surprise party is to overcharge your shield spell. I have one thing to say to you, DERP.

"Oh, oops. Well then, lets get this party STARTED!"

That appeared to get most of them to stop staring, for the most part. Rainbow wasn't letting me out of her gaze.

Pinkie diverged straight into the party, doing a variety of things, some of which included contact with other ponies. Great, number four of the worst possible things that can happen is going to be happening.

Alright, let me get this straight, touching another pony that isn't in a fight is the fourth on your list of things that is the worst possible thing?

Yes

So number five is a blank, four is pony contact, three is a blank, two is waking up to a carniverous beast that wants to devour you, and the first is a mare that isn't in the kitchen making you a sandwich.

No, number one is waking up next to a mare.

Then technically, Fluttershy walking in on you while you have a monologue is not the worst thing that can happen to you.

Correct, number five is interrupting my monologues.

"Come on Sigma, LETS PARTY!"

"And there goes number five, again."

You may want to put everything on your list down one and move being stuck in a room with Pinkie Pie to the top.

Good idea.

After some enticing, she got me dancing. Only because there would be cake for me if I did. For those of you who don't know, I am one of the most lazy stallions out there, but there is one thing that I will anything, and I mean ANYTHING for. That one thing, is cake.

With the promise of cake in mind, I sprinted to the dance floor. Only to realize I can't dance. Oh well, if Pinkie can do it, I can do it.

Oh how false that statement would prove.

Ten Minutes later

Man, you suck some serious sack at dancing.

Fatigued already, I made my way to the cake that I was promised.

Damn, I didn't know you were fat in a past life.

You can stab me, burn me, send me the deepest pits of Tartarus, but you do not FUCK WITH CAKE. Cake is all that is good in life. It,s pure, it won't judge you, it will listen to you, and it wants to be your friend. But most importantly, it is delicious. I used to carry a slice of cake around in my saddlebags when I used to work in a team. They would always ask why I would bring it. I would answer with 'Cake is credit to team." They never understood that statement, even with their dying breaths. I once met a stallion from Stalliongrad with a similar fetish, but with sandwiches. When he said it though, his accent made it 'sandvich.'

Taking a slice of this divine sweet, I was approached by a couple of mares. One was a mint green unicorn with a similar mare, but with a white stripe in it. She had yellow eyes and a lyre for her cutie mark. The other was a pale tan earth pony with a navy blue and pink man. She had blue eyes and presumably three piece of candy for a cutie mark.

The tan one spoke up "Nice moves on the dance floor."

It was complete and utter sarcasm at its most refined.

Playing along "Yeah, I guess they were pretty sweet. Now, I'll have to ask you to stop basking in my awesome without some sort of payment."

They laughed. It made my coolness level increase by twenty percent.

"Anyway, I'm Lyra and this is Bon Bon."

"I'm Sigma."

"We know."

Wow, they said that simultaneously.

!

"How do you know my name?"

"There's a banner in the middle of the room that says 'Welcome to Ponyville Sigma'"

"Obviously."

If those to are together, the unicorn is on the bottom.

How can you tell?

She doesn't have enough testosterone in her to do anything but add-on to Bon Bon's sentences.

Huh, seems legit.

"Anyway, this party seems a little juvenile, anything real to drink around here."

"Wait a sec, let me get you something to drink."

"Thanks Lyra."

An awkward silence followed until Lyra came back with a cup of punch that I hope was spiked. One smell of it confirmed that.

"Bottoms Up."

And with that, the rest of my night became a blur.

Meanwhile Outside

A pair of ponies waited in a dark alley, one a mare in the prime of her life. The other a young colt, filled with arrogance and inexperience.

"Hey boss, when do we strike?"

The mare with the amethyst eyes didn't even look at her insubordinate when he asked that.

"When our insider gathers all the intelligence we need and when he isn't in a public place."

That earned an upset groan from the colt.

"Patience, our victory will be sweet if we savor it. And I don't want to blow our disguises on a frontal assault." Next Chapter: The Hangover Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 3 Minutes