Okay, today has sucked so far. First, I woke up, end of story. Second, I kicked a hot mare. Third, there are now six pairs of eyes staring at my flank. I doubt that this could get any worse. The two ponies who were laughing at me are still laughing. I was getting pretty pissed off at this and decided to make a joke.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer."

"Wait, I have a camera somewhere..."

Fuck me with the moon.

"Here it is."

"I don't know who you are, but if you take a picture, I'll destroy you.

I didn't say anymore as there was a flash from behind me. The flash of a camera. Scratch that previous statement, this day just got worse. This is embarrassing and I needed a plan, unfortunately, I was out of plans as well. Brain, I require assistance.

Alright, I'll help. Lets think of what you have tried to do to get out of this situation. You've tried struggling, you've tried fighting, and you've tried joking. Lets see...Try diplomacy.

Crap, I suck at diplomacy.

"Okay, I know I've been mean in the past but lets let bygones be bygones."

That will never work, I can't believe I just said that. Might as well get used to being here and what the crap, I'm moving. It worked, wow.

"Thank you."

" Shut up, Ah ain't forgivin' you yet."

Now able to see the group that had been staring at my flanks for the past minute, I noticed that there were six of them. Two of every species. The earth pony who was dragging me by my tail spat it out.

"Now why did ya kick Fluttershy?"

The orange earth pony who addressed me was of medium build and average height for a mare. She wore a stetsons hat and freckles on her face. Her cutie mark was three apples.

"Umm"

"Wrong answer pal."

I went to see who said this, but I got it in the face by a rainbow. How in the hell does a rainbow hit somepony and make it hurt? I fell back onto my back from this.

"Rainbow Dash, that was highly uncalled for. Let him have a chance to explain himself."

Yay, I'm getting support in some way. I sat up and looked at them all. The other pegasus, known as Rainbow Dash to the world.

Known as Rainbow Dyke to me.

When my brain said that, I started laughing.

"Dammit, my inner monologue is ruined."

"What?"

That came from a violet unicorn mare with a dark purple mane and a pink stripe running down it. Her cutie mark was a star with sparkles.

"Sorry, I thought of something funny."

All of the sudden, a pink blur shot into my face, blinding me with pink.

AHHHH, the pink, it burns!

"REALLY? TELL US!"

"No."

Unfortunately, my answer didn't stop her. In fact, it spontaneously changed topics.

"OHMYGOSH, YOURNEWHERINPONYVILLECAUSEIKNOWEVER..."

"Make it stop."

For the love of all that is holy, make it stop.

"Pinkie, get off of him."

"ANDWEREGONNAHAVEFUNANDCAKEAND..."

The pink monster was ripped off of me with telekinesis and her mouth zipped shut. The purple glow surrounding her told me who did it. I ran to the purple pony, bent down and started kissing her hooves.

"Thank you, you have saved my life fair maiden. To what do I owe this honor."

No dignity.

"Will you stop that and answer my questions?"

I stood up, backed a few feet away and bowed low.

"Of course, my master."

"OOOkay, you can start by telling me who you are."

"My name is Sigma."

"Where are you from?"

"I came from los Pegasus."

"And where did you get those dreadful scars?"

I turned my attention to the white unicorn with a purple mane who addressed me.

"I don't think you have the stomach for it."

"Rarity, we don't need to know that, yet."

Thank you purple unicorn master once again.

"Now tell me, why did you kick Fluttershy?"

"Because I wasn't thinking straight."

"Pfft, a likely excuse."

If Rainbow Dyke says something like that again, piss her off.

Got it.

"Why weren't you thinking straight."

"Because I fell out a two story window and landed on my head. And I won't answer any more questions until you answer some of mine."

Rainbow shot up to my face and said "Thats not how this works bub."

"Hey purple pony, can you tell Rainbow Dyke here to get out of my face before she gets hurt."

That earned a gasp from everypony and a very nasty look from Rainbow Dash.

"Oh, a tough guy are you, I can take you out in ten seconds flat."

"Go on ahead and make the first move Miss. Dyke, I assure you that you won't get a second."

"Oh it is on."

She rushed me, only to meet a barrier I put up. Upon hitting it, she learned the same lesson that the bounty hunters from yesterday learned. Problem is, it didn't knock her out, it just pissed her off.

She lunged at me again, breaking the barrier and charged me. Lucky for me, she wasn't too bright and ran into a very temporary paralysis spell I shot at her. Unluckily for me, she was going extremely fast and crashed into my head with her head. If I didn't have a concussion before, I probably did now. The impact knocked me down and she kind of landed on top of me in an... arousing way.

With her not able to move and me not feeling like it, we just lied there. Of course that got changed when she got lifted off of me by telekinesis by the purple unicorn.

Aw, I was enjoying that.

My spell wore off a second later and she started squirming in the telekinesis.

"Put me down Twilight so I can teach this punk a lesson."

"If she comes at me again, I will end her."

The purple pony thought about this for a while before coming to a conclusion.

"If I let you go Rainbow, will you leave him alone?"

"Ugh, fine" Rainbow grumbled.

"Good."

Purple pony released her from her grasp and looked at me.

"I guess we should introduce ourselves."

I nodded.

"The pink earth pony is Pinkie Pie."

Upon hearing her name, she waved energetically.

"The white unicorn is Rarity."

"Charmed."

"The orange earth pony is Applejack."

She tipped her hat.

"You've already met Rainbow Dy- I mean Rainbow Dash."

Some of the other ponies giggled at that, Rainbow glared at them.

"The yellow pegasus is Fluttershy."

She hid behind her mane when I looked at her.

"Sorry, she's a little shy."

"Really? I couldn't tell."

Purple pony rolled her eyes before continuing.

"And I'm Twilight Sparkle."

She extended her hoof.

Meeting hers, I said "Its a pleasure." Next Chapter: A Little Bit More Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 12 Minutes