The screen changed to a dark, empty room when suddenly two spotlight went on, presenting the hosts of the show: a female anthro bunny with fur, wearing a rather ‘revealing’ outfit, and… a red and grey alicorn?

“What the…?! One of the hosts is an ALICORN?!” screeched Twilight, nearly dropping of the couch. “How?!”

The rest of the group was just as shocked, but they were able to maintain at least some level of composure.
“A fellow alicorn,” said Celestia, starring at the screen.

“And a male no less,” added Luna, looking at the stallion in interest.

“Do you know him?” asked Cadence, intrigued as well. “I don’t think I have ever meet him before.”

“No, I have never met him either,” answered Celestia. “Maybe he’s from another mirror world?”
“That would explain it,” said Sunset. “But what is the deal with that bunny girl?”

“I’m torn,” stated Rarity, practically eating the bunny with her eyes. “On one hoof her attire is scandalous, but it matches her body and fur so well!”

“I’m more worried about Spike,” added Starlight, looking at the youngest member of their group. “Isn’t he a little bit too young for this?”

“Hey!” complained Spike, crossing his arms.

“I like it!” grinned Discord, getting a glare from the mares in the room. Shining wisely remained silent.

Crow: Twilight Sparkle.

Lully Pop: Son Goku.

Crow: Two heroes that saved their worlds on multiple occasions.

Lully Pop: And like every good hero out there, they started their journeys under the tutelage of one wise and ancient teacher.

Crow: Celestia, Princess of Equestria.

"Me?" asked a perplexed Celestia.

Lully Pop: Master Muten-Roshi, the Turtle Hermit.

Crow: I'm Scarlet Crow.

"Scarlet Crow? That's a nice name," said a blushing Luna, earning giggles from the others.

Lully Pop: And I'm Lully Pop!

- a huge screen appeared behind them-

Crow: And it is our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win... in a fight.

"So the princess is fighting?" stated a confused Starlight. "But why?"

"Now that I think about it, this kinda resembles some shows I have seen back at home," noticed Sunset. "Looks like this is about us fighting against opponents from other dimensions."

"Why should we ever do that?" asked Rarity, tilting her head.

"Who knows? But this should be entertaining."

"Other dimensions," mumbled Twilight, with shining eyes.
____________________

PRINCESS CELESTIA

BACKGROUND

- Height: 7’ / 213 cm

- Weight: Unknown (did you think we’re stupid enough to ask?)

- Age: Over 1.000 years

- Occupation: Princess of Equestria

- Hobbies: Watching over her ponies, pranking, eating cake

"Eating cake!" laughed Discord. " They got that right!"

"You like prankes too?" asked an excited Pinkie, giving the princess a wide grin.

"Of course she doesn't! This is Princess Celestia we're talking about!" argued Twilight, huffing.

"Ahw," made the disappointed pink pony, before noticing Celestia giving her a little wink, cheering her up.

Crow: Over a thousand years ago, the three tribes of ponies lived separately. But after driving out the Wendigos with the Fire of Friendship, the leaders of the Earth Ponies, Pegasi, and Unicorns agreed to unify under a single country: Equestria.

Lully Pop: Aka Magical Ponyland.

Crow: Of course, rulership of this new country was a major concern, seeing how the three tribes had only recently stopped fighting. The leaders of the three tribes, along with the wizard Star Swirl the Bearded, searched across the land for the perfect candidates. So what better choice was there than two young sisters?

"You're so cute!" gushed Cadence, giggling. "So tiny and adorable!"

Lully Pop: Was that supposed to be sarcasm? With your expression it’s sometimes hard to tell.

Crow: In their defense, the young Celestia and Luna had several unique qualifications. As the only two Alicorn type ponies in the world, they had the distinct characteristics of all three pony tribes, making them a great symbolic choice for the new kingdom's leadership. For another, Alicorns lived far longer than your typical ponies, so they would be able to keep the kingdom stable.

Lully Pop: But they're not even in charge! They're princesses, not queens! That doesn't make sense!

"Don't say it," everypony said simultaneously.

"You guys are no fun," grumbled Discord, but smiled when Fluttershy offered him some cookies.

Crow: Well, there are two main explanations. The first is that the two princesses initially had ceremonial roles, and only became actual rulers after the three tribes were culturally unified. The other is that they hoped to appear more approachable to the masses. Take your pick.

"It's neither. They just tought they'll sound younger that way," grinned Discord, before getting body-checked by an angry moon princess.

Lully Pop: Whatever. While Luna had her own adventures, discovering zebra tribes and befriending manticores like any good princess should, Celestia developed a strong bond with Star Swirl, forged by their common obsession for knowledge and magic. He showed her the Tree of Harmony, a magical tree that is the focal point of Harmonious Magic in Equestria. And later, when a dragon stole the Crystal Heart from the allied Crystal Empire, Celestia was able to get it back. All she had to do was keep calm, burst into flames, and yell threats at the dragon until it fled in terror! Atta girl!

Rainbow blinked, slowly, as she raised her front left hoof, "Princess, I have only one thing to say," Rainbow answered slowly.

*PUMF!*

Starlight and Fluttershy jumped to the side a bit as Rainbow's wings shot up at attention, Twilight gaping at her while Spike and Trixie covered their mouths to contain a snicker, Applejack and Sunset gave her a blank stare while Rarity rose an eyebrow and Fluttershy blushed. Discord, Cadence, Shining Armor and Luna actually blinked while Celestia went wide-eyed, blushed, and her ears pressed back lightly.

"Yes, Rainbow?" Celestia asked awkwardly.

"No, that was it," Rainbow assured quickly, blushing despite her straight face.

"BWAHAHAHAH!" cue Discord and Sunset rolling on the floor and laughing their asses off. "Looks like another poor soul falls victim to you! HAHAHA!"

"Hehe...hehe...hehe," cue Luna struggling not to join him. "AHAHAHAHA!" cue failure. "Fret not, our multi-colored friend! Thy reaction is most appropriate." Luna smirked playfully before returning to laughing, leaving Rainbow blushing with an awkward grin.

Crow: The pivotal moment came one day when the two sisters woke up in the morning only to discover that the sun wouldn't rise. As it turned out, the sun and moon of this world needed to be moved via magic. And the teams of unicorns that had previously been dedicated to this task had been depleted of their magic. Even their mentor Star Swirl couldn't help.

Lully Pop: It was on that day that the two sisters, acting on instincts they never knew they even had, would raise and lower the sun and moon for the first time. And from that day onwards, Celestia would be Princess of the Sun, commanding the sun's movement for countless centuries.

"So that is how it went," hummed Twilight, taking notes.

Crow: There are countless reasons that Celestia was able to rule over Equestria for so many centuries. First, it's important to understand what an Alicorn really is. They combine the best traits and magical abilities of the three tribes into one being. Thus, it is important to understand what exactly each tribe of ponies is capable of.

"Yay, science," said Discord, looking bored.

"Yay, science!" cheered Twilight.

Lully Pop: Earth Ponies, despite lacking a horn or wings, have supernatural strength, durability, and stamina. For example, teams of four Earth Ponies were used to carry trains for hours on end, they can throw boulders across the horizon, pound rocks into powder with their hooves and drag two-story houses behind them with ease. And Celestia can humiliate them in a hoof wrestling contest, meaning she's at least on the upper end of the spectrum! Hey Crow, can you do the math?

Crow: Well, seeing how the distance between that one pony throwing the rock and the horizon is about 3.500 meters, and the boulder being thrown is about a meter across... that boulder could easily weigh around 3.000 pounds, considering how mafic rocks are usually heavier. For comparison, a trebuchet, which fired at a similarly high angle, usually fired rocks of around 150 or so pounds, and had a range of about maybe 300 meters. Kinetic Energy can be measured by using mass and velocity. Since a trebuchet throws 150-pound boulders at 300 meters, or 470 if you account for their arcs, within five seconds, that means trebuchet shots have around 300.000 Joules of energy. Applying the higher values of the rock throw suggests a value 2.700 times greater, 810 million Joules. That's a lightning bolt's worth of kinetic energy, and you know how much those have.

The only sound that could be heared was from Twilight, her quill practically flying over the scroll.

Lully Pop: (Awed) That's like having 200 pounds of TNT behind the casual tossing of a rock! Note to myself: don’t piss of the cute little ponies or they buck me to kingdom come. Innuendo intended.

"I was never so proud to be an Earth Pony," said Applejack, a small blush on her cheeks.

Crow: That's a good segue into Celestia's Pegasus abilities. Pegasi are capable of flight and weather manipulation, and the fastest flyers can go at speeds of over Mach 5! It's rumored that Celestia herself was the first pony ever to perform a Sonic Rainboom, putting her at over MACH 10!

Rainbow's wings shot up again, much to the mirth of the others.

Lully Pop: Last of all, Celestia has the spell-casting abilities of a Unicorn, including the standard telekinesis they all have. And this is where she really shines.

Twilight quicked in exictement, grapping a fresh scroll.

Crow: Ever since she was tutored by Star Swirl the Bearded, Celestia has eagerly learned new spells, something aided by her high magical reserves. Her spells include shields, pyrokinesis, teleportation, dispelling enchantments, and energy blasts. And her mental protections against mental attacks and manipulation are top tier, able to fend off the equally powerful Nightmare Moon for centuries without fail.

"That's one impressive list," awed Starlight, casting a glance to the sheepish looking sun princess.

Lully Pop: But Celestia also has some tricks you wouldn't expect. Like copying Nightmare Moon's shadow form, using fire instead.

Luna looked at Celestia. Celestia looked at Luna.

"Knock-off," huffed Luna, returning her eyes back to the screen.

Lully Pop: Or you know, Dark Magic!

Crow: Indeed. Celestia has enough mastery over herself and her craft to perform some basic Dark Magic with no negative consequences. It is mainly used for creating crystalline structures, which can either be used as ordinary heavy rocks or even form teleport-proof cages. This magic is similar to the abilities that Umbrum-Unicorns possess, like King Sombra.

"Dark Magic too?" Sunset poked Celestia's right front leg. "Why didn't you showed me all that cool stuff before?"..."

"Oh right, stupid question," blushed the orange unicorn.

Lully Pop: With all these powers under her hooves, Celestia has been kicking ass and taking names for centuries. She was able to defeat Nightmare Moon solo, defeated Queen Chrysalis and her entire Changeling race by herself and helped take down threats like Discord and Lord Tirek. All while managing a tight schedule of running a country!

"It wasn't easy, but well worth the effort," laughed Celestia, earning smiles from everypony around her.

POWERS and ABILITIES

ALICORN PHYSIOLOGY

- Being an Alicorn, Celestia can fly and use magic

- Possesses enhanced strength, speed and stamina (Applejack and Rainbow approve)

GENIUS INTELLIGENCE

- Celestia is highly intelligent, able to retain a great deal of information and use it to her advantage

- Highly knowledgeable in the arts of magic

MAGIC

- Celestia can perform great feats of magic (Twilight's quill was catching fire at this point)

- This includes:

- TELEKINESIS - Moving objects with magic

- TRANSMOGRIFICATION - Celestia can alter the appereance of objects and living beings

- REPLICITATION - Celestia can create clones of herself

- SPELLS - Celestia knows a high number of different spells with varying effects

- MAGIC BEAM EMISSION - Celestia can shoot concussive blasts from her horn

- DARK MAGIC - Allowing her to perform the same feats as an Umbram-Unicorn

- FORCE FIELD - Celestia can create a force field to protect herself and others

- TELEPORTATION - Celestia can teleport herself and others anywhere she wishes

- DREAM SCRYING - Celestia can move through the Realm of Dreams

FLIGHT

- Like all Alicorns, Celestia can use her wings to fly the same as a Pegasus (Rainbow approves)

IMMORTALITY

- Even after 1.000 years, Celestia has never shown to age

PROPHETIC ABILITIES

- Can see future events in her sleep ("What?!" most of the group yelled)

- Very limited

MAGIC FORM (Luna grumbles)

- Engulfs herself in a fiery display of magic

- Makes her intangiable

OTHERS

- Can reach the top shelf without help or telekinesis (everpony laughed at that)

- Can eat cakes with 16 layers and more on her own (still laughing)

- Moves the sun. And occasionally the moon. But mainly the sun!

Crow: During those centuries she not only gained wisdom, knowledge and patience beyond anything ever seen before, she also made it her passion to spread the Magic of Harmony across Equestria, creating a near-utopia. She maintained peace for over one millennium, improved relationships between the different races and became a goddess in all but name.

Celestia grimmaced. "I'm not to fond of ponies worshipping me. It makes me feel uncomfortable."

"Right, there were once churches dedicated to us," remembered Luna. "What happened to them?"

"I had to disband them. They started to act like zeleots," said Celestia with a grim expression. "Performing acts of violence and racism against non-ponies, all in my name."

Lully Pop: And between all of that, she still found the time to establish a school for super-smart unicorns and take on some personal students: Sunset Shimmer, Cadence and the most famous of all, Twilight Sparkle.

This got smiles from the said three ponies.

Crow: Which will become the absolution for her younger sister Luna. You see, 1.000 years ago Luna was overwhelmed by her own rage and sorrow, transforming her to the dreaded Nightmare Moon. Unable to stop her, Celestia used ancient artifacts, called the Elements of Harmony, which banished Luna to the moon.

Lully Pop: What’s pretty harsh for something that’s basically a five-minute temper tantrum.

"WHAT did she just say?!" fummed Luna, angry that her suffering was reduced to a mere 'temper tantrum'.

Crow: In order to use the Elements, she had to represent all six aspects of Harmony: Kindness, Loyalty, Generosity, Honesty, Laughter and Magic. Making her the only being in history capable of using them all on her own.

"I never really tought about it, but it is truely amazing," said Cadence.

Lully Pop: Yeah, even I wouldn’t be able to do that.

Crow: They would most likely turn you to stone the moment you touch them anyway. Even after giving up on the Elements, she continued to guide Twilight and her friends with her wisdom and experience.

FEATS

- Ruled a kingdom for over 1.000 years (everypony approves)

- One of the few Alicorns in history

- Wielded the Elements of Harmony alone (everypony was amazed)

- Mentor of Sunset Shimmer, Princess Cadence and Princess Twilight Sparkle (that got a smile from the three)

- Can scare adult dragons away (*PUMF* - "Ouch! Damn it Dash!")

- Powerful enough to control both sun and moon

- Defeated Discord, King Sombra, Lord Tirek, Queen Chrysalis and Nightmare Moon

- Dealt with whinny nobles for centuries (everypony laughed)

Lully Pop: She’s one super reliable pony!

Crow: It's a pity she usually ends up as the butt of the joke. Over the course of the last few years, she had rarely ever been able to defeat the major threats to Equestria, having to rely on her student’s circle of friends. In a few cases, certain gimmicks like anti-magic fields have proven to be effective against her.

"Ouch, that's harsh," stated Sunset, giving her former mentor a pat. "True, but harsh."

Lully Pop: Heck, even when she was fighting Queen Chrysalis during the Canterlot Invasion, she lost the beam struggle. Or that one time when she and her sister were abducted by weed. Evil weed, but still, weed!

"Urgh, don't remind me," grumbled Luna, gving Discord an evil glare.

Crow: Celestia has less experience in fighting as one would think, using it only as a last resort. She also prefers to banish or imprison her foes instead of, well, ‘removing’ them permanently.

"Did he just suggested to...kill them?" asked Celestia, shocked. That is the only thing she would never allow herself to resort to, no matter how high the stakes are.

Lully Pop: Which gives them ample opportunity to return for some good ol’ revenge. Usually after 1.000 years. Seriously, what’s the deal with that number?

"While I am also not too keen with the idea of...killing somepony," started Luna. "We should at least come up with other ways to deal with treats to Equestria. Dealing with them over and over again IS quite tiresome."

"The girls did a good job saving the world so far," aggred Shining. "But our foes only have to win one time to ruin everything we worked so hard to achive."

"And we had some pretty close calls in the last few years," added Cadence.

Discord, Sunset and Starlight meanwhile made themselves as small as posssible, starring at the ground in shame.

WEAKNESSES

- Not as experienced in fighting as one would think

- Usually holds back her full potential

- Too forgiving

- Over-relying on others

- Cakes (Discord laughed, recovering from his previous mood, while Sunset and Luna sighed)

Crow: To be fair, a lot of Celestia's weaknesses seem to be more of a case of her holding back as it is of being weak. Sure, she was beaten by Chrysalis, but only because they were fighting in a location full of civilians and while the queen was supercharged on Love Magic. Furthermore, we know that Celestia seems to fear her full potential, afraid that she could become the counterpart to Nightmare Moon, Daybreaker.

Celestia, Luna and Starlight winced, while the other gave them curious glances.

Lully Pop: Which totally sounds like something an edgelord would come up with in order to sound cool. Kinda like you do.

Trixie giggled. "His color-theme is kinda stereotype, isn't it?"

Crow: (Annoyed) Shut up. It’s also implied, that some of her more, let’s say questionable decisions, like freeing Discord or giving all her magic away, were made on purpose. Because of her prophetic powers, she KNEW that Twilight would be able to find the Elements of Harmony and purify Luna. She KNEW she could overcome Discord, become an Alicorn and prevail against Tirek.

Lully Pop: I’m not sure if continuously wagering the future of Equestria just so that Purple Pony can prove herself is a failproof strategy. I mean those prophetic abilities of hers aren’t exactly reliable, or she would have known of the Changeling Attack. Wait, she didn’t know, did she?

Crow: I don’t think so…why?

Lully Pop: Do you think she threw the fight with Chrysalis on purpose? Hell, remind me to never play chess with her.

Twilight paused, before looking at her role model with wide eyes. "Was everything what happened so far..really just a...test?"

Now everpony was starring at Celestia, waiting for an answer. Celestia tilted her head in tought, before giving Twilight a comforting smile.

"My little ponies believe that a miracle is something unexpected, almost impossible. But over the centuries, I have found that in times of great need, the power of true friendship can make a miracle inevitable. Given time and opportunity, harmony can take care of itself. All I really needed to do was to ensure it’s not deliberately obstructed before it blossoms. I simply had faith in you, my dear Twilight." Celestia lookes around at the smiling faces. "I had faith in all of you."

Crow: Do you even know how to play? Anyway, mastermind or not, Celestia is a solar powerhouse. The fact that she remains in power after centuries, her name almost held in reverence, is proof that her faults are outweighed by her feats.

Celestia sings:

“You've come such a long, long way

And I've watched you from that very first day

To see how you might grow

To see what you might do

To see what you've been through

And all the ways you've made me proud of you

It's time now for a new change to come

You've grown up and your new life has begun

To go where you will go

To see what you will see

To find what you will be

For it's time for you to fulfill your destiny.”

____________________

Lully Pop: Come to think of it, you’re an Alicorn too, aren’t you?

Crow: Did you seriously noticed that just now?!

Lully Pop: I didn’t really care before, but you know… what I did noticed is that Celestia is still single!

"Oh my!" giggled Rarity, blushing and fanning herself. Luna and Cadence gave their fellow alicorn a playful shove.

Crow: (Facehoofing) Oh, sweet merciful gods above…

Lully Pop: Is she not your type? Or are you aiming for the younger sister instead?

Now it was Celestia's turn to grin, as Luna's face turned red.

Crow: Please stop.

Lully Pop: Maybe Cadence? But you know that she’s married, right? Wow, that’s kinky!

Crow: …

Lully Pop: Or maybe Twilight, but she’s a bit on the younger side. Do you have a thing for smaller girls?

Cadence simply giggled, while Twilight had a striking resemblence to a tomato. Shining himself looked murderous, while the others were blushing and laughing at the alicorns of the group.

Crow: Are you done yet?

Lully Pop: For now (Giggles).
____________________

Crow: Son Goku might be one of the greatest martial artists in existence, rivaling even gods. But he would never had reached that level without the guidance of Master Muten-Roshi.

MASTER MUTEN-ROSHI

BACKGROUND

- Height: 5’5’’ / 165 cm

- Weight: 97 Ibs / 44 kg

- Age: Over 350 years

- Aliases: Turtle Hermit, Jackie Chun

- Hobbies: Eating pizza, video games and aerobic exercise videos

"Here comes her oppenent," said Sunset, blinking. "And it's an...old man?"

Rainbow perked up. "Turtle?"

Crow: Master Roshi is not only one of the strongest humans in his world’s history, he’s also the strongest fighter of his generation, once referred to as the God of Martial Arts. He is a wise and kind-hearted person who loves those around him like his own grandchildren. And while he openly enjoys life and its simple pleasures, he is willing to die for an honorable cause if necessary.

"Wow, he sounds like an awesome guy," said Spike, already liking him.

"He's a martial artist, and one of the strongest too?" Rainbow smiled. "Ok, that dude is already on my list of ponies I want to fight!"

Lully Pop: Enough with the sugar coating! The old fart is supposedly one of the greatest martial artists of all time, but he has one striking weakness. Well, two actually. (Lully grabs her boobs and squeezes them for emphasizes)

The view changed to show the old man chasing girls and being a pervert in general.

"Well, no one is without...short-comings, I guess?" Starlight tried to save his reputation.

"Somepony should teach this ruffian a lesson," huffed Rarity, clearly not pleased with Roshi.

A woman with blue hair slaps Roshi.

"Thank you darling," laughed Rarity, joining the others.

Crow: His skirt-chasing antics aside, Roshi is a master when it comes to the usage of Ki. Ki is a vital energy force all living beings possess. The stronger and more focused you are, the greater your Ki becomes.

"Ki? Sunset, do you know what that is?" asked Twilight her otherwordly friend.

"I have heard about it, but in my world it's more like a spiritual concept then a real force." answered Sunset. "That means he's probably from a completly different world."

Lully Pop: When he still had hair, young Roshi studied under the legendary Master Tomato…

Crow: Mutaito.

Everypony laughed at that.

Lully Pop: …and a kitty cat ! These masters of butt-kicking taught Roshi how to weaponize his Ki to perform awesome techniques.

"He was teached by a cat?" smiled Fluttershy. "How nice."

"I wanna hear about this awesome techniques," stated Rainbow, getting hyped.

Crow: It wasn't too long until Roshi created his own martial arts style, the Turtle School, which he perfectionated for the next 300 years.

"300 YEARS?!" yelled Sunset.

Lully Pop: Holy crap, how old is this geezer?

Crow: Well, it's a little vague, but thanks to either his old pet phoenix, which died due to food poisoning , or the mysterious Paradise Herb, he's just shy of 360 years old.

"Wow, he's nearly four times older then any human at home," stated Sunset, calming down.

"Forget that, how do you kill ah phoenix with bad food?!" wondered a confused Applejack.

"That poor bird," mumbled Fluttershy, getting a comforting pat from a equally distressed Celestia.

Lully Pop: Damn! I'm just impressed he can still get it up for the girls after all that time!

The mare's faces in the room collectively lightened up, while the three males coughed awkwardly in their hooves /claws.

Crow: That's... well, I mean, yes, (Whispering) I guess medically speaking, it is quite impressive.

Lully Pop: Anyway, his Turtle School, or Kame School, is not about hiding in a shell and waiting till the danger is over as I first thought. It includes everything from tricky pressure point combat to a phony Drunken Style, which, if you ask me, is just a missed opportunity to get wasted.

"Sounds like a very versatile way of fighting to have," commented Shining, making mental notes for later.

"And it's called Turtle School!" gushed Rainbow. "I wonder if Tank and me could learn it."

"I wanna learn the Alligator School with Gummy!" exclaimed Pinkie, just as excited as Dash.

Crow: As a grandmaster of all martial arts and hand-to-hand combat styles, Master Roshi is an outstandingly versatile fighter and tactician, able to quickly see through an opponent's skills and effortlessly change his own methods to suit the situation. At the same time, he is deceptively strong for his frail form, able to move at blazing speeds and move massive structures with his bare hands, all while at base power.

"Incredible, he really lives up to his title as the God of Martial Art," approved Luna, giving her sister a smile. "Looks like you're in for quite the fight."

"Seems like it," said Celestia absentmindly, following the feats Roshi performed on screen with interest.

Lully Pop: Roshi can use his Ki to increase his power even further to push past his physical limits, use it to fire explosive shots, go buff mode, stun foes with Thunder Shock Surprise, and even seal dangerous enemies away with the Evil Containment Wave.

"OH MAMA!!" yelled a blushing Starlight at Roshi's MAX form, getting a "What the actual buck"-look from Trixie, while the others said nothing, opting to slowly back away from her.

POWERS and ABILITIES

MAX POWER FORM (Starlight highly approves)

- Roshi unleashes his full power

- Makes all his Ki Attacks substantially stronger

- Boosts his strength

TELEPATHY

- Capable of reading the minds of others

HYPNOSIS

- Can put people to sleep by making weird noises and performing waving hand motions (everpony smirked at that)

THUNDER SHOCK SURPRISE (Rainbow takes great interest in that one)

- Doesn't use it often due to its lethal nature

- Produces 20.000 Volts of Electricity and blasts the opponent with it

- Not only does massive damage to them, but also immobilizes them (usually in the air)

- Also immobilizes Roshi until the attack ends

EVIL CONTAINMENT WAVE

- Using immense focus, it traps the target and their soul within a bottle

- Even a rice cooker works

- Requires immense precision and discipline

- Drains the life force no matter if it’s successful or not

- Has trained himself so much that he can use it multiple times before it starts having a drastic effect on him

DRUNKEN FIST

- Can use it without actually being drunk

- Makes him extremely unpredictable

"This Evil Containment Wave seems like an incredible useful skill to have, it would have made our lives so much easier," stated Luna.

"We should look for something similar," Celestia agreed.

Crow: Even with his advanced age reducing his natural stamina and endurance, while also reducing his overall performance, he makes up for it with his efficiency, both physically and mentally. His experience and intuition have also honed his natural instincts to the point that he became so aware of his surroundings, that he is able to move against any threat automatically.

Lully Pop: He can run 100 meters in 5.6 seconds, while suppressed and out of shape.

Crow: But once he gets serious, he’s so fast that it resembles teleportation for the untrained eye, he can create afterimages of himself and effortlessly dodge lightning.

"Whoa nelly," Applejack whistled. "Looks yah got yourself some competition Dash."

"Oh yeah?! Well watch me, I'll learn how to do it too, and then we'll see who's the fastest!"

Lully Pop: The old man can send people flying just by waving his hand and once punched Goku out of a stadium and into the city farther than the audience could see.

"Looks like he might be very useful during the applebuck season," said Spike, looking at the apple farmer. "Maybe you could ask him for help next time."

Crow: He’s able to easily read his opponent's movements and battle tactics, allowing him to move with minimal needed effort.

"The skill of an experienced fighter," nodded Shining, wishing he was that good.

Lully Pop: He once snatched bullets out of the air that are fired at him from point blank range. Average machine guns can fire up to six hundred rounds per minute, at a muzzle velocity of nearly 1.200 feet per second.

Crow: That means Roshi would have to react to the first bullet within five milliseconds. Additionally, each consecutive bullet would reach him just shy of seventeen milliseconds apart. The maximum distance between any given shot looks to be about three feet, which means he would have to be moving at 180 feet per second in order to catch them all.

"Hey, maybe he can fly when he moves his arms fast enough!" giggled Pinkie, ignoring the awed faces of the others.

Lully Pop: Ha! I guess that helps during lonely nights!

Once again all mares blushed, while the males shifted around uncomfortably.

Crow: (Facehoofing) Ugh! Anyway, spending all those years honing his talents, Roshi dedicated fifty of them to develop one revolutionary technique.

"Fifty years?" wondered Trixie. "What could he possibly came up with that took him half a century to pull of?"

Lully Pop: Say it with me!! KA-ME-… (Lully goes into postion)

Crow: …-HA-ME-… (Crow joins in)

"What are they doing?" asked a bewildered Cadence.

Lully Pop / Crow: …HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! (Both throw their hands/hoofs forward, copying Roshi’s stand)

One could probably hear the sound of the collective gasps and chins hitting the ground all to Yakyakistan.

"Sweet baby goat riding a motor boat to Mars!!" yelled Discord. "WHAT the HAY was THAT?!"

Crow: The Kamehameha, or Turtle Wave, is the signature technique of the Kame School. By focusing his Ki between his palms, he creates an enormous beam of pure energy, which annihilates everything it hits.

"No kidding," said a breathless Rainbow Dash, her wings once again at full attention, but this time it went ignored by everypony.

KAMEHAMEHA and MAX POWER KAMEHAMEHA

- A basic but very powerful blast of Ki

- When combined with Roshi's MAX form the Kamehameha can

- Put out the flames on Fire Mountain and destroy both it and the Ox-King's castle

- Destroy the moon completely

- Take out waves of Frieza Soldiers

Lully Pop: (Excited) Hell yeah! He blew up a whole frigging mountain with it!

Crow: This peak resembled the Flaming Mountains which are located in China, standing up to 2.600 feet tall. With this in mind, we can find that to pulverize such a mountain, Roshi's Kamehameha must equal nearly four gigatons of TNT.

"That makes anything Tirek and I fired during our battle look like fireworks for foals," stated Twilight, her quill and scroll laying on the ground.

Lully Pop: But that's small stuff compared to the time he obliterated the entire moon in about five seconds! That's gotta be worth like what, a few thousand mountains…? Crow, how many mountains make a moon?

"He did WHAT?!" yelled Luna, getting out of her stupor, rattling the others.

"...I think I just peed a little," squeaked Spike.

Crow: Well, more like thirty-five billion, to obliterate the moon in its entirety, the Kamehameha must have struck it with a force akin to three octillion tons of TNT.

“Impossible…” muttered Twilight, as she slowly turned into a twitching mess.

Lully Pop: That are…twenty-seven zeros! Holy shit!

"That is...that is...awesome and terrifying at the same time!" commented an intimidated Sunset. "Like...like starring up at the face of God as he has Cthulhu in a chokehold."

Luna meanwhile joined Twilight on the ground.

“Ok, is that normal?” asked a concerned Starlight.

“No, but it’s quite fascinating,” answered Celestia as she poked her twitching sister with a stick.

Crow: But even with all his powers, Roshi's true talent lays in ensuring that his students grow further and further than himself every day.

"Just like auntie," smiled Cadence, helping her fellow alicorns back to their hooves as the others slowly recovered as well.

Lully Pop: By forcing his students to deliver milk up a mountain, plowing fields with their bare hands, working construction with simple tools or let them be chased by both sharks and bees, all while wearing a fifty-pound shell. Even by my standards, that’s hardcore!

Master Roshi: "But you are still within human limits! In order to become a master of martial arts, you must break the wall of humanity! That is the challenge!"

"Maybe we should implement that in our guard training," said Celestia, earning a terrified whimper from Shining.

Crow: Still, Master Roshi cares deeply for his students, to the point where he entered the World Martial Arts Tournament in the disguise of "Jackie Chun" to ensure they would lose the tournament, as he felt they might lose interest in the martial arts if they won it too easily.

"He really cares for his students, doesn't he?" smiled Applejack. "He treats them just like family." That got nods of approval from the others.

Lully Pop: And he won! Too bad he had to spend all the prize money to pay for all the food Goku devoured. (Laughing)

Everypony joined in, finally relaxing again.

Crow: Despite his apparent retirement from active fighting and acknowledging that his days as the strongest are long over, he still continues to train. He defeated at least 170 of Frieza's soldiers with only minor difficulty, and during the Tournament of Power he showed his resourcefulness by facing off against three opponents consecutively. Against Caway, he easily repelled her energy weapons and ultimately terrified her into forfeiting…

Lully Pop: Albeit it was mostly from his perverted advances.

Rarity grumbled at that.

Crow: … and his knowledge in magical matters allowed him to easily defeat Dercori with the Evil Containment Wave, to which he was not affected by its consequences, showing his increase in power. And against Ganos, his tactical prowess enabled him to effortlessly dodge and deflect all the younger enemy's initial attacks.

"Experience beats everything," nodded Luna.

Lully Pop: Even though Ganos was faster and stronger than him - with Ganos even noting that if he could just land one blow Roshi would be defeated - until he powered up enough to overwhelm Roshi and bash him around.

Crow: Despite this, he showed noticeable resilience, repeatedly getting back up. Once using his MAX Power and then proceeding to go beyond his limits, he was able to defeat Ganos and blast him out the ring with a MAX Power Kamehameha. Roshi's performance even earned him repeated praise from Beerus, the God of Destruction.

"God of Destruction?" everypony asked with wide eyes.

Lully Pop: Who can destroy entire galaxies on a whim! Kaboom!!

Silence.

"...I think I peed...again. Can somepony get me a towel?"

Without looking Discord snapped his fingers, a small set of towels appearing out of nowhere.

Spike wasn't the only one who needed a fresh towel.

FEATS

- Destroyed an entire mountain (everypony was impressed)

- Invented the legendary Kamehameha (everypony approves)

- Caught a full clip of machine gun bullets (still impressed)

- Obliterated the moon (Luna started to twitch again)

- Defeated 170 soldiers of Frieza’s army

- Won the 21st World Martial Arts Tournament

- Defeated Krillin, Goku, Tien, Caway, Dercori and Ganos

- Earned the respect of the God of Destruction (everypony was still shaken by that)

- Can still get it up for the girls! (blushes, blushes everywhere)

Crow: Sadly, Roshi's frailty of age means his body can't always express just how powerful he really is.

Lully Pop: In terms of raw power and speed, most of his opponents outclass him by far, forcing him to fight with extra care.

"They're right, he's pretty old after all," noted Sunset, worried about the old martial artist.

"Not as old as the sisters! Heyhoo!" laughed Discord, before getting hit by a bowl with popcorn.

Crow: It is implied that Roshi is not as naturally skilled and flexible in the usage of Ki as his students. His skills in that regard are the result of years of training and experience.

Lully Pop: Also, using too much Ki energy can cause all sorts of problems, like when his master Mustachio died using the Evil Containment Wave. He is also too prideful to learn how to fly via levitation, since this skill was invented by his rivals from the Crane School.

"Wait, they can fly without wings or magic?" asked Trixie. "Is there anything they can't do with 'KI'?!"

WEAKNESSES

- His age greatly reduces his performance

- Not as natural gifted as his students

- Can't fly (Rainbow doesn't approve)

- Overusage of Ki can kill him (that got everypony worried)

- Pretty girls (Rarity facehoofed)

Crow: Even though he may be well past his prime, this perverted but genius veteran still inspires others and demands respect from his pupils. There is a reason why everyone still calls him Master.

Master Roshi: “Goku...Krillin...You two were the ones who taught me that this old man still has a future and it’s too early to decide my limits. You’re the ones that taught me that by continuing to aim for higher heights. My students! Move well! Learn well! Play well, eat well and rest well! Enjoy your live merrily and to the fullest! The Kame Style is with you! This is the greatest, most powerful Kamehameha!”

____________________

Crow: The combatants are set! Who will prevail? The beloved Sun Princess of Equestria? Or the perverted Turtle Hermit?

Lully Pop: Let’s…get…ready…to…RUMBLE!!! (Lully makes different silly poses with each word)

"Twenty bits on the old man!" called Rainbow.
"What!" yelled Twilight. "Oh, you're on!"
____________________

The view changed to the throne room of Canterlot Castle, with Celestia sitting on her throne, reading Twilight’s latest friendship report.

Suddenly, a black-haired man with an orange outfit appeared out of nowhere, one hand on his temple, while the other was resting on the shoulders of an old man.

"Hey it's Goku and Roshi! But what do they want in Canterlot?" wondered Spike.

“-I don’t think that is such a good idea…and we’re already here,” started Muten-Roshi, before giving Goku a deadpanned stare.

“What? Who are you? What are you doing here!?” demanded Celestia, dropping the scroll to the ground.

“Hi! I’m Goku,” smiled the younger one of the two, giving her a friendly wave. “I heard there are a lot of strong fighters around here, so I came for a sparring match! Want to fight?”

"So he wants to fight and dragged his master with him," laughed Applejack. "Poor old guy."

“I’m Princess Celestia, Co-Ruler of Equestria, and no I don’t want to fight,” said a bewildered Celestia, obviously trying to make sense out of this situation.

“Oh well, if you don’t want to, I’ll find someone else,” relented Goku, walking off.

“You want to fight my little ponies?! I won’t let you disrupt their peaceful life’s just so you can fulfil your hunger for battle,” raged the alicorn, grapping the man with her magic. “Begone!”

With one mighty push of magic she sent Goku flying through the castle walls, his wailing form disappearing in the distance. Roshi meanwhile stood there, starring at the angry alicorn in disbelief.

"Oh my, Celesta is having a mama bear moment." giggled Discord, giving the sun princess a checky smile. "I'm somewhat intimidated."

Sighing, he put off his sunglasses, cracking his limbs at the same time.

“Was that really necessary?” he asked, putting his glasses away.

“I know ruffians like him well enough,” Celestia stated. “Brute force is the only language they understand.” She looked at the old martial artist.

“Do you wish to fight me too?”

“Don’t really want to, but after you throw my student through the air like that, I think I have to teach you a lesson.”

“So be it. If that is what you want then,” Celestia said, taking into the air. “I won’t hesitate to give you what you desire!”

"Here they go!" smiled an exicted Rainbow Dash.

FIGHT!

Her horn igniting, pieces of the destroyed castle walls came flying towards the old martial artist.

“Wow, Sunbutt. Overkill much?” Discord chuckled, smirking at the blushing princess.

Roshi closed his eyes, and struck a stance with his left leg out, his right slightly bent. His right hand out, palm forward with only his thumb resting on it while his left arm stayed retracted to his side.

The rocks came in on all sides, ready to smash into Roshi with enough force to reduce him to a smear on the castle grounds.

“Oh, I can’t look,” Fluttershy whimpered.

In a flash, Roshi’s eyes opened.

One chop to the first rock in reach, it shattered into dust. A fierce turn and a punch on another one and it too became nothing but a pile of dust.

“What the hay?!” Rainbow stuttered.

“Huh, would you look at that,” Sunset mused. “Looks like he got it handled after all.”

“Thank goodness,” was Fluttershy’s only remark.

Whirling around, one boulder after another was reduced to nothingness, till only two remained. Before they could even come in contact with Roshi, they were suddenly stopped dead in their tracks.

Celestia could only watch with a hanging mouth.

As did the spectators.

Roshi had just caught the two rocks, which were at least twice his size in height, and weighed possibly four times his own weight, in both his hands.

“Ah know he’s strong, but that fella is easily putting the entire Apple Clan to shame!” said Applejack, giving an approving whistle.

“I agree fair Applejack, this is indeed quite remarkable,” Luna agreed. “Sister, we should implement those ‘martial arts’ into our Royal Guard training.”

“Please don’t,” begged a bleaching Shining Armor. “We’ll die!”

Holding them up for a few more seconds, he finally allowed gravity to run its course, letting them crash to the ground once more.

Roshi’s expression remained impassive as he clapped his hand, shaking of the remaining dust, while Celestia continued to stare in utter bafflement.

“Close your mouth sister, it’s unbecoming for royalty,” joked Luna.

“Hm. I was expecting somewhat more from the one who sent Goku flying that easily. I assure you, you don’t have to hold back against this old man.”

“Ohh! Shots fired!” quipped Pinkie.

“Now it’s ON!” Starlight and Spike cheered.

A snort. An angered snort came from Celestia.

“Now then, let’s get serious. Shall we?” Her eyes started to glow white, the very air was shaking as Celestia gathered more and more magic around her. Suddenly, dozens of enormous rocks were levitating from the castle grounds, circling around the lone human, trapping him in a sphere of deadly projectiles.

Roshi scoffed. “Repeating the same tricks already? Is this all you can do?”

“Creativity was never a strong suit of our sister,” Luna smirked.

“Oh, hush you,” Celestia huffed, giving Luna a light shove.

The rocks Celestia’d been carrying in her magic suddenly split into hundreds of thousands of smaller missiles.

Discord nearly choked on the popcorn he was drinking. “Ok, I take it back. The first one was a love tap. THIS is overkill!”

Roshi’s eyes narrowed as he stared at the projectiles which still surrounded him.

“Huh, so not entirely the same trick,” he hummed. “This turns out to be more difficult than I expected.”

“Yet he’s not worried at all,” Twilight noticed, already sitting on the edge of the couch.

“Well, he’s a very experienced fighter,” Shining answered. “It’ll take a lot more to startle somepony of his caliber.”

“So COOL,” whispered Starlight.

“Not so sure of yourself anymore, are you?” Celestia remarked. “Have at thee!” With that the rocks were launched in Roshis direction, clouds of smoke rising into the air as some hit the ground while others made contact with their target.

“Ouch, that looks painful,” said Trixie, wincing.

Finally, when Celestia had finished her assault, she stopped and squinted into the smoky atmosphere that was below her.

When the smoke cleared everypony expected to see an injured and beaten Master Roshi. What they saw instead was a pyramid made from the two boulders that where launched at him earlier. It had a majority of the projectiles Celestia had thrown at Roshi imbedded in it, some going in deep, others not at all, and a couple laying scattered on the ground.

“Excellent strategy,” Shining hummed in approval. “Instead of trying to dodge or destroy the rocks, he simply used the boulders to create an impromptu shield to block them.”

“That’s really quick thinking on his part,” Cadence agreed.

“Touchy, aren’t we?” Roshi’s voice came from within the large pyramid. The structure collapsed, raising more dust into the air, a second later Roshi came out, with only one or two scratches on his arms.

“How did you- that should have ended this fight!” Celestia yelled.

“Nope, that would have been too easy!”, sang Pinkie, jumping excitedly from one couch to another, till she landed next to the snacks. “Mhhmm!! Cupcakes!”

“But it didn’t,” Roshi stated. “Now princess, if you’re going to fight me, you better take this more seriously.” With a grin, he gripped both boulders tightly to the point of where his veins could be seen on either hand, before lifting them up, turning around and then hurling them in Celestia’s direction.

“And now it’s his turn,” stated Sunset, intensely starring at the screen.

Celestia’s horn glowed, and in an instant both rocks stopped. “That won’t wor-,” the alicorn started, when her eyes suddenly widened.

Using the boulders as a distraction, Roshi closed the distance between them with one mighty jump, preparing to land a hit on the startled princess.

With a yelp, Celestia dropped the boulders and teleported out of the way, just in time to evade the punch.

“Ahahahaha!!” Discord laughed, rolling on the floor. “Did you hear that?! What a cute little voice you have, my dear Celestia!”

Said alicorn blushed heavily, as others joined the draconequus.

“You should do this more often, maybe then you would finally find a suitor for yourself!” chuckled Luna, giving her sister a wide grin. “I’m sure they’ll love this side of yours.”

Reappearing a few feet above the ground, she glared at the martial artist. Roshi meanwhile landed in a crouched position, before standing back up and looking at the princess, chuckling all the while.

“What’s the matter? Afraid of getting close and personal?” he taunted.

“Attacking him head on is a bad idea, he has the advantage in close combat,” stated Rarity, giving a sideway-glance to Celestia. “No offense, your highness.”

“Non-taken, my little pony,” reassured the alicorn of the sun. “Attacking him carelessly is indeed not a tactic one should…”

Celestia’s eyes glowed with power, as she charged at Roshi, intending to simply run him over.

“…yet I’m doing it anyway,” Celestia deadpanned.

Taking a battle stance once again, Roshi prepared himself for the assault of the alicorn. As the princess came closer and closer to the old man, he slightly shifted his body, putting himself parallel to the alicorn.

“What’s he doing? At this rate the princess will skewer him!” screamed Rainbow, gesturing wildly with her hooves.

“Calm down Dash, that old fella surely has a trick or two up his non-existing hat,” reassured Applejack the frantic pegasus.

Indeed, he has. Mere milliseconds before ending with a new breath hole, he lifted his right arm, and cached the tip of Celestia’s horn with the tips of his thumb and index.

Silence.

“Holly shit,” stated Spike, as a ruby he was currently chewing on fell out of his open mouth.

“SPIKE!” chastised Twilight, looking at the young dragon in disapproval.

“What? An ‘I didn’t see that one coming’ or ‘well, that was unexpected’ doesn’t really express what I’m feeling right now.”

“…Fair enough, but don’t say that word ever again, mister,” Twilight grumbled.

Celestia blinked. Then blinked again. She struggled to get out of Roshi’s grip, but to no avail.

“Er…I didn’t mean it?” Celestia chuckled awkwardly.

Roshi simply grunted in response.

“My turn.”

With a burst of power, he changed to his MAX Form, startling the trapped alicorn (and making Starlight very happy), before lifting her in the air, her horn still between his fingers.

“Now you’re royally screwed,” stated Discord, patting a grimacing Celestia.

Using the alicorn as a new weapon of mass destruction, Roshi started to beat her into the ground. Literally. There were now Celestia-shaped holes in the floor and castle walls.

The group winced.

“Oh my,” whimpered the nearly forgotten Fluttershy, hiding under the couch.

Celestia’s eyes burned white with magical essence as the remaining rocks went flying in Roshi’s direction. The human rammed the princess one final time into the wall, before running on said one in the opposite direction of the projectiles.

“He can run on walls?!” Trixie asked in disbelief.

Celestia’s onslaught followed him all the way. It wasn’t until Roshi reached one of the sister’s thrones, where he placed a foot on it and launch himself straight forward in the direction of Celestia, …

“Careful, that one’s mine!” yelled Luna.

…swatting away any rock in his way as he closed the distance between him and the alicorn.

Celestia stopped her attack, time slowing down as Roshi grew closer and drew back his arm as if he were going to pierce through reality itself. But before he could land a hit, Celestia once again teleported out of the way, reappearing behind him and launching a beam attack.

“Boo! Cheap move princess!” Sunset complained. “Cheap move!”

“Sunset Shimmer! Do you WANT the princess getting punched?!” Twilight sneered, giving the orange unicorn the stink-eye.

His calm expression slightly stiffened when he saw her behind him.

“Smart,” he stated.

Quickly crossing his arms in an X-shape as he descended down towards the ground, Roshi tilted his body so they were in front of him. As soon as the attack was close enough to hit him, he quickly trusted both arms out to his side, dispelling the beam.

“Did he just PUNCHED a spell out of the air?!” asked a flabbergasted Cadence.

“Like a boss,” grinned Rainbow.

Landing on the floor, Roshi looked forward just in time to see another yellow blast shoot at him. It hit him square in the chest, knocking the wind out of him and tearing a hole in his shirt.

“His choice of clothes is hardly a fashion statement, but still. Please be more careful, princess.” grimaced Rarity, getting stunned looks from the others.

“Uhm, I will try?” said Celestia, unsure of herself.

“Come on! He was hit by that, and you’re worried about his state of dress?!” asked Shining.

“Clearly, you don’t know her well,” deadpanned Applejack.

Recovering and quickly making it to his feet Roshi jumped out of the way, evading a barrage of magical blasts.

“Yet he shrugs it off like a champ,” stated Discord, nibbling on a cucumber sandwich.

As the ground around him exploded, he jumped away to safely without a scratch. What he hadn’t expected was a swirl of magic surrounding him.

“What’s that?” asked Pinkie, tilting her head.

While distracting him with her attacks, Celestia had changed into her intangible form. Now surrounding Roshi and encompassing him in her magical form, she began spinning in circles, slowly picking up the speed around him.

“Oh look, dear sister has changed her form,” stated Luna, rolling her eyes. “Cheap knock-off.”

Roshi’s eyes narrowed as he waited for something to come out at him, but nothing did. It was then he realized what the alicorn was trying to do.

“His air supplies! You’re cutting it off!” said Sunset.

“Good move. Limiting his movement and putting pressure upon him without risking retaliation,” mused Starlight, analyzing Celestia’s new form.

“Perfect defensive and offense. Try getting out of this!” cheered Twilight, her eyes sparkling.

As if reading his mind Celestia picked up the pace, Roshi started to look slightly light-headed as it continued.

Drawing back an arm and giving one swift strike he hit the wall of fire and magic with his bare fist. Part of Celestia’s magical form blew out into the open, before quickly reforming with rest and continuing the cycle.

“Yeah, it’s no use. If you can’t teleport or create your own supply of air, it’s game over,” said Discord, glancing at Celestia. “I’m speaking out of experience.”

Roshi coughed and fell on one knee. He was seemingly starting to lose consciousness, his body obviously needed oxygen or else he’d pass out.

Time was running.

Managing to get up on his feet Roshi stumbled, stopped on a foot.

“What could he possibly do in a situation like this?” asked Rarity, slightly worried for the old human despite herself.

He gave another strike, Celestia’s spinning form blew away briefly, but not as large as it had before, quickly joining with the rest of her to continue cutting off his supply.

Things were looking grim. Roshi’s eyes started to grow lidded. He began drawing in more, longer, deeper breaths.

“One last time” he mumbled.

“Looks like he has a plan. Let’s see if it does the trick,” answered Trixie, munching on some fudge.

“Like Discord said earlier, the only way to survive this is either by teleporting out or getting a supply of fresh air,” mused Sunset, scratching her chin. “Another method would be to…”

Lifting his right hand up into the air, Roshi brought the side of his hand down on the ground with all the focused force he could muster.

It worked.

The force broke through Celestia’s suction, throwing the part of her intangible figure that touched the ground into the air. Before the magical energy had a chance to reform with the rest of the sun alicorn, Roshi clapped both hands together with such a force that she was scattered everywhere.

“…do this,” ended Sunset her sentence, somewhat lamely.

Falling to one knee and drawing in a deep breath, Roshi coughed viciously before relaxing.

He looked around to see parts of the mare’s magical energy form gather into one giant whirlwind of fire before completely reforming into a tired alicorn.

“You’re both reaching your limits. This fight won’t go on for much longer,” noted Cadence.

Both took their time drawing breath.

Finally, Celestia spoke. “You have...that much...power, yet you didn’t use it in the beginning?” she said between pants and an annoyed expression.

“Oh, the princess’s getting annoyed,” giggled Discord. “That reminds me of the fun times we occasionally have. Like when I turned all your beloved cakes to low-sugar ones and you fell asleep during day court due to the lack of your daily sugar rush.”

“She’s still obsessed with cake?” asked Sunset Luna, while the two were watching how a blushing Celestia repeatedly punched the laughing draconequus with the cushion of the couch, while the others were hiding behind it.

“You’ve no idea,” sighed Luna.

Roshi chuckled. “I’ve been holding back this entire time. You haven’t seen anything yet.”

Looking both crossed and offended by this statement, Celestia switched back to her energy form and divided herself, not once, not twice.

But eleven times.

“Wow, so many. Most unicorns struggle to create a single one, let alone maintain it for an extended period of time. To create so many…” noted an amazed Twilight.

“Well, it isn’t easy, but with enough practice you can do it too,” smiled Celestia, standing over the beaten form of Discord.

Roshi rose to his feet, his breath now caught as he faced TWELVE Celestia’s. Then he laughed.

“He’s…laughing?” asked a confused Fluttershy.

One of the copies of Celestia stared in confusion. “Why are you laughing?” she asked.

“In the face of your defeat!” another stated with emphasis as her hoof hit and cracked the ground beneath her.

Roshi’s ran a hand over his face, straightening his beard in the process as he stared at all twelve alicorns. “Because, I don’t need to hold back anymore if you aren’t.”

“Now he’s getting serious too,” said Trixie.

“About time,” grinned Rainbow Dash. “Let’s see some real action!”

Roshi took off in the alicorn group’s direction. A myriad of charged magical shots were sent his way but he was able to nimbly dodge most of them, ignoring the burning pain he felt when those that connected with him hit... just as he was about to punch one of the clones with an open palm all of them suddenly disappeared.

“Not again…,” sighed Sunset.

“It’s a legitimate tactic!” said Twilight, miffed with Sunset claiming that Celestia resorts to cheap moves.

“Sounds like the excuse one of those campers in a online shooter would make.”

“A what in a what?”

“Nevermind…”

He looked around. The room was empty, save for the rubble of the fight.

Feeling his body freeze as if wrapped by an invisible force Roshi found himself being flung right into the thrones. He went through one, …

“NO!” screamed Luna.

…and an audible crack and painful sound of skin landing on metal, sang throughout the room.

“Oh no! That looked like it really hurts!” yelled Fluttershy (well, if you could even call it ‘yelling’).

“Don’t worry, that happens to me all the time when I play with the Cake Twins,” reassured Pinkie the worried Pegasus. “It looks like 40% more painful than it really is!”

“That’s more than enough!!” argued Applejack.

“My throne!” whimpered a distressed Luna.

Landing on the ground and doing a few rolls, Roshi stopped and sat up. He looked up just in time to see two of the copies soaring towards him at full speed, forehooves out and ready to crush his ribs into powder.

Quickly standing up, running right towards the two clones, Roshi slid on his knees along the ground right under both Celestia copies and struck them firmly in the sides.

Both went down instantly, paralyzed.

“Two down, ten to go,” counted Spike.

Roshi got up and starred at them, shaking his head. “I don’t know what makes you keep thinking that fighting a martial artist up close is a good idea.”

“Burn!!!” yelled Discord, Sunset, Pinkie and Rainbow.

“How bout from a distance then?” the alicorn’s voice called, wrapping him in her magic before slinging him into the ground with all the force she could muster.

“She doesn’t take constructive criticism well,” smirked Luna, giving her sister a playful tap on her whiskers.

“Hello pot, met kettle,” deadpanned Celestia.

Roshi went right into the ground. Practically embedded in there, new lines of cuts were covering his body in the process, allowing a little blood to seep out.

“FIRST BLOOD,” said Sunset, in a deep voice.

“Why are speaking like that, darling?” asked Rarity, giving the fellow unicorn a curios look.

“No reason,” sang Sunset.

Not giving him the chance to recover, two of the clones dove on either side of him, landing on his left and right and then trying to strike him down with one of their hooves.

Bad move.

Roshi instantly caught both, much to the two clone’s surprise

“And she’s a slow learner as well,” laughed Luna, while Twilight gave her former mentor a reassuring smile.

There was a struggle. Both alicorn’s forehoof shook in the human’s grasp as they added all their weight into the blow. Only managing to get his hand down a few inches, before Roshi’s face grew stern and he pushed back with his own strength. Slowly pushing both mare’s forehooves away from him as he turned their shaking power-filled hooves towards each other.

“Such power,” purred Starlight, getting weird looks from the others.

Lifting both hooves till they were practically near either copy’s cheek, Roshi quickly released his grip on their hooves and watched the two alicorn copies punched each other into a K.O.

“Eight left.”

With that, using his hands for support Roshi jumped out of his own crater and watched as the clones all gathered back into a single ticked off alicorn.

Roshi grinned.

Discord grinned as well.

Then Celestia gave a complacent smile.

Discords grin fell. “Oh, that’s not got.”

“Why?” asked a bewildered Cadence.

“When Celly smiles likes this, you’d better run.”

“What are you so happy about?” Roshi asked as the alicorn landed a couple feet away from him.

“It’s over.”

Hooves shot out of the ground directly beneath Roshi surprising him greatly as two alicorn copies of Celestia emerged out of the ground and firmly wrapped their forelegs tightly around both of his own legs. But the most disturbing fact was that the eyes of both were glowing in a sick green, full of eldritch power.

Twilight gapped. “Dark Magic! You’re resorting to Dark Magic!”

“Drastic times call for drastic measurements,” said Shining, looking serious. “Still, this does seem like a little much.”

Roshi looked genuinely surprised. Both alicorns holding his legs firmly to the ground grinning at him devilishly.

“So scary,” whimpered Fluttershy.

“Don’t be afraid,” Celestia put one of her wings over the little pegasus. “I will only use this power to protect my little ponies.”

“So, is that finally it?” Celestia asked with a cocky look on her face, dark tendrils leaking out of the corners of her eyes.

“Any last words?” the alicorn asked as she created a multitude of copies that added up to at least twenty.

“Well, that’s a wrap,” said Applejack. “Congrats, princess.”

Roshi looked at the two alicorn’s tightly restraining him. Then he looked at the alicorns now waiting for him to speak, so they could finish him off.

He sighed. “This was fun while it lasted.”

“Oh, come on! You can’t give up that easily!” complained Rainbow Dash. “At least go out with a fight or a cool one-liner!”

Celestia’s copies all collectively smirked, and with a shout they all charged in unison towards the human.

Roshi closed his eyes, raising both hands up slowly into a practiced position.

“Wait a sec. This stance…,” remembered Sunset.

His eyes snapped open. The two alicorn’s holding him down suddenly lost their smirks, their eyes widening as they sensed a new level of intensity radiating off every fiber of this human.

Sunset smirked. “It’s…”

Flexing his fists, and placing both arms at his right side, Roshi managed to bend his knees just a bit despite the weight of the alicorns holding him down.

“Ka-Me-,”

The group jerked up.

“How could we forget about this!?” yelled Twilight.

“The signature attack of his school,” stated Luna, looking at the screen with wide eyes.

As the group of alicorns charged him, a sphere of pure energy formed between his palms, growing in size and intensity with each passing second.

“The move that annihilated a mountain,” said Starlight, mouth open in awe.

“And the moon,” whispered Trixie, leaning closer to the screen.

“Which he worked for over fifty years on,” remembered Applejack, lifting her hat to have a better view.

“-Ha-Me-,”

“His final trump card,” Shining and Cadence said simultaneously.

“Eep,” made a distressed Fluttershy, hiding deeper under Celestia’s wing.

“The…,” started Rarity.

“Ka-Me-…,” continued Rainbow, Spike and Sunset, imitating Roshi’s stance.

“Ha-Me-…,” Discord and Pinkie joined in, both wearing matching orange outfits.

The original Celestia’s eyes widened if fear, feeling the overwhelming power and pressure of the attack.

“Well, buck,” said Celestia, accepting what ever was coming for her.

“-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!”

“-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!” screamed three ponies, one dragon and one draconequus at the same time.

Celestia’s mouth dropped, watching as every single alicorn copy that charged into the beam were annihilated in an instant. The beam traveled further nearly hitting the sun princess, before vaporizing the wall and a good portion of the castle, slowly disappearing in the sky.

“Well, there goes the castle…,” said Luna, deadpanning.

Landing on the ground once more Celestia gathered her remaining copies, as they all turned to energy and rejoined with her.

“That…power. What…are…you?!” yelled Celestia, her voice shaking in fear and exhaustion.

“Me? I’m just an old man, who’s enjoys the smaller things in life,” stated Roshi with a grin, laughing sheepishly.

“Despite all his power, he’s still a humble soul,” said Celestia, nodding in approval. “There is much even I can learn from him.”

“Are you not upset about losing the match?” asked Sunset, starring at the smiling princess.

“No, there’s no shame in losing, especially against somepony like him.”

“Just an…you had a trump like that waiting and you didn’t pull it out till now?”

Roshi rubbed the bruises on his hands. “Never said it was a trump, did I?”

“Now he’s just milking it,” grumbled an annoyed Twilight.

Not wasting a second for Celestia to act or make another comment, Roshi appeared instantly in front of the alicorn. One swift tap to the neck and she fell to the ground instantly, falling in an unconscious state.

“Well that’s it. Good fight princess. Pay up Twilight,” said a smug Rainbow Dash.

“It’s finally over,” said Roshi, rubbing the back of his head. “I’m getting to old for this. Now, where is that fool Goku?”

“Right, were did he disappeared to?” wondered Spike.

A sudden rush of power behind him made Roshi stop in his tracks. Spinning in place, he faced the white alicorn he had knocked out previously. But she was not quite the same anymore. Her eyes were dark and golden orbs of pure malice, her irises were slit like a dragon’s. Her mane was a sea of flames, and she was radiating power. More than she ever had shown during the fight.

“Oh no,” whimpered Twilight.

“No, it can’t be…,” said Celestia with a grim expression.

“DAYBREAKER,” gapped the rest of the group.

Roshi charged at her, planning to defeat her before she had the chance to strike. But with a smirk and a burst of magic, he was trapped in her telekinetic grip.

“No! Master Roshi!” screamed Starlight.

“It’s over, you old fool. A mere mortal can never hope to match the mere might of DAYBREAKER!!” the newly named alicorn stated, chuckling. “Now, kneel before you queen and beg for mercy!”

“Come on, fight! Beating my sister is one thing, but don’t you dare to lose to that mockery of her!” roared Luna, nearly shifting to her Royal Canterlot Voice.

“Yeah! Don’t give up!” everypony encored the old fighter, even the ones who were previously cheering for Celestia.

Celestia herself was silently praying. “Please, stop me before I do something I will regret…Master Roshi.”

“Hmpf. I don’t beg,” said Roshi testing the limits of restriction.

“…WHAT did you say?” asked Daybreaker, her eyes narrowing dangerously.

Everypony smiled at his determination.

“I said I never beg. I fight!” roared Roshi, gathering his remaining strength.

“Well said. Spoken like a true warrior,” praised Luna, nodding in approval.

“Fine, if you don’t bow…then you DIE!!!” screamed Daybreaker, an enormous orb of red magic forming on the tip of her horn. And with that small speech, she fired it off, sending Roshi his death.

Yeah. NO.

Breaking out of his bonds just in time, he slapped the ball of destruction out of the way, leaving a nice large and round hole in the remains of the castle, before it finally collapsed.

Daybreaker blinked.

Everypony cheered, jumped in the air and started to hug each other. Celestia let out a sigh of relief.

“What the buck…?”

“Hah! What’s the matter Daywhiner?” taunted Rainbow Dash. “Getting nervous?”

“It’s not over yet, Dash. Ol’ Roshi is still weakened, while Daybreaker is in top form,” reminded Applejack, worriedly starring at the old martial artist.

Pulling herself out of Trixie’s embrace, Starlight looked at the apple farmer. “You’re right, this is not over. But what can he do? He’s at the end of his power!”

“Don’t worry,” said Shining. “That old stallion has still one trick left.”

Huffing, Roshi pulled a tiny bottle out of his pocket, opening it while keeping an eye on Daybreaker.

“Exactly,” smirked Celestia.

This however didn’t go unnoted by the corrupted alicorn. “What is this? What are you planning!?”

Putting the bottle on the ground, Roshi answered. “I plan to end this fight.”

“There you got your one-liner,” said Pinkie, smiling at Rainbow Dash.

“Not if I can stop you first!” roared Daybreaker, launching herself at the old man.

“Yeah, fat chance,” laughed Sunset. “Go get her geezer!”

“Too late!! Evil Containment Wave!!” yelled Roshi, as a giant green whirlpool appeared around Daybreaker, sucking her into its pull.

“No!” Daybreaker tried to escape, by flying, by teleporting, but it was all was for naught. She was pulled back again and again, until, with a final scream, she disappeared into the bottle.

“Caught a legendary!” laughed Discord, wearing a red and white cap, along with a blue west.

Corking the bottle, Roshi gave a satisfied hum.

“Got’cha,” he laughed.

K.O.!!!

As everypony cheered, Celestia gave a relieved sigh, before noticing a nervous Twilight.

“I’m sorry that you lost princess,” said the purple alicorn. “I really hoped that you would win.”

“I didn’t!” laughed Rainbow, who overheard Twilight’s last words. “I’m twenty bits richer!”

“Way to kill tha dang mood Dash,” deadpanned Applejack, throwing one of the remaining muffins at her.

“Don’t worry, I’m fine,” reassured Celestia, giving everypony a smile. “It’s not about winning but having fun after all.”

The view changes to Roshi’s kitchen, where he takes a beer from his fridge, while one can see the bottle containing Celestia/Daybreaker standing next to the beverage.

Meanwhile, a big-eyed Luna starred at the remains of Canterlot Castle, her mouth open in shock.

“Is he seriously storing me in a fridge?” asked Celestia, giving the screen an unbelieving look.

“Stop complaining,” whined Luna. “I’m left to clean up the mess you caused!”

“Hey look! There’s more!” noted Spike.

The screen changed back to the analysis room, showing Scarlet Crow and excitedly hopping Lully Pop.

Lully Pop: That. Was. AWESOME!

“Yeah, it was!” agreed Rainbow, flying circles in the air, still hyped by the battle.

Crow: Indeed. This fight was a close one. While Master Roshi has the advantage of both strength and experience, Celestia is more agile, and her vast knowledge of magic gives her a far more versatile repertoire of skills.

“Right, you were pretty even after all,” nodded Shining.

Lully Pop: Most of Roshi’s offensive attacks rely on close quarter combat, but since Celestia can simply fly and teleport away, or turn intangible, he struggled to get a clean hit on her. Even his signature attack, the Kamehameha, while powerful enough to defeat her instantly, won’t work.

“Yeah, spamming teleportation over and over again kinda ruins the fun,” smirked Sunset.

“Would you stop that!!” screamed an annoyed Twilight, earning a chuckle from everypony else.

Crow: But it wasn’t easy for Celestia either. While she possesses a wide variety of spells, most of them weren’t designed with combat usability in mind. They also need time to charge up, giving Roshi ample time to either prepare or interfere the spell, and can’t be used while maintaining a shield spell, so she had to choose between offense or defense.

“That’s a flaw we have yet to find a way around for,” agreed Luna. “Maybe we should focus our efforts to find a solution for this particular problem.”

“On it!” smiled Twilight, making a note for later.

Lully Pop: Besides, they would most likely lack in the power departement anyway, unable to cause lasting damage to him. I mean he took a barrage of death rays that could shatter solid rock to dust!

Crow: Don’t forget his moon-busting feat. He tanked attacks of similar magnitude and survived. While Celestia may be powerful, in terms of raw destructive power, she doesn’t compare to other foes he has defeated.

“True, compared to him, I’m lacking in strength,” mused Celestia. “Maybe I should start working out again.”

Lully Pop: Well, she could always use her magic to turn him in an actual turtle, but his keen senses and reflexes would make it nearly impossible to hit him anyway. He can dodge machine gun fire and lightning-fast attacks, so some relative slow beams are not much of a challenge to him. But couldn’t she just hold him down with her magic?

“Exactly, why didn’t you do that from the beginning, auntie? The match would have been much easier that way,” asked Cadence, looking at her fellow princess.

Crow: Yes and no. As far as we know, even Alicorns can’t perform telekinesis and attack at the same time. And while her ability to move the sun sounds impressive, it is not as much of a feat as one might think at first.

“WHAT did he just say?!” asked a shocked Twilight, glaring at the red and grey alicorn.

“Hush, Twilight, let’s give him a chance to explain,” said Starlight, trying to calm down her fuming teacher.

Lully Pop: What do you mean?

Crow: You see, light travels with a speed of 186.282 miles per second, and in our case, it needs 8 minutes and 19 seconds to reach the planet. So, we basically don’t see the sun itself, but rather the sun of eight minutes ago. However, each time Celestia moves Equestria’s sun, there is no noticeable delay between her casting the spell and the sun’s movement, implying that it is much closer to the world. That also means that it is much smaller than ours, and most likely magical in nature, since a natural sun of that size would burn up rather quickly. And remember, before Celestia took over, the sun was moved by a group of unicorns. An extraordinarily powerful unicorn like Twilight Sparkle struggled to lift a single Ursa Minor, who weights around 340 tons. Even if we assume that fifty unicorns were needed back then, that would sum up to ‘only’ 17.000 tons of force. And that is still a rather generous assumption of us. There is no question that someone as strong as Master Roshi could break out of her bounds.

Silence.

“Wow, that was a lot of math I definitely understood,” said Rainbow, giving a sheepish grin, while Pinkie was laying on the ground, numbers and small suns circling her head.

“He’s basically saying that our sun is much closer and smaller than others, so it doesn’t take THAT much power to move it. At least compared to other suns,” stated Sunset, poking Pinkie with her hoof.

“How can you be so calm about this!?,” yelled Twilight. “He just throw everything we ever thought we know on a huge pile and set it on fire!”

“Different dimension with no magic, remember!” smiled Sunset, looking at Celestia. “Are you okay?”

“I…am fine. I just need time to digest all of this,” said Celestia, straightening her mane, which now resembled Twilight’s during one of her, ‘episodes’.

Discord and Luna were still snickering at the face Celestia was making.

Lully Pop: And simply throwing or teleporting him away won’t count as a win. Using the rainbow orbs of peace was also out of question. Not only has Celestia severed the connection, making them unusable to her, it’s unlikely they would have done anything at all. There’re mainly used as a last resort to beat the villain of the week, and while he may be an old pervert, he’s not exactly evil or a treat to harmony.

“True, he might be a pervert, but he’s his heart at the right place,” agreed Cadence, leaning against Shining.

Crow: Master Roshi on the other hand had the perfect means to defeat the princess: The Evil Containment Wave.

Lully Pop: Which is not only inescapable once it has you, it can also trap beings far more powerful than Roshi himself, including other magic users like Piccolo.

“Still wish we had something like that,” sighed Luna.

Crow: Even resorting to the Dark Arts or falling from grace to become Daybreaker for a power-up would only delay the inevitable.

Lully Pop: Seems like it’s ‘light out’ for the princess.

Most of the group groaned, while others laughed.

Crow: (Grumbling in annoyance) The winner is…Master Muten-Roshi.

“So, what do you guys think?” asked Sunset, looking around.

“Headaches aside, we’ve learned a lot of things from this episode alone,” stated Twilight, sorting the notes she made. “Alone researching this ’Ki’ and upgrading everything we know about the sun will, takes weeks, maybe months!”

“I’m more interested in those martial arts we have seen,” said Shining, scratching his chin in deep thought. “Maybe Princess Luna was on to something. Implementing these into our guard training can only improve their performance, keeping everypony else safe.”

“We should also think of new ways to use our magic in battle,” Cadence added. “It IS kind of limited in its current state.”

“Who cares about that egghead stuff? Let’s watch some more fights! Preferably with somepony awesome! Like me!” urged Rainbow, eager for the next match.

Lully Pop: Next time on EvU…

The group suddenly heard a familiar chuckle.

“Wait, is that…?” started Starlight, looking back to the screen.

It now showed the statue of a familiar draconequus, as a crack formed along his figure.

“YES! It’s me! The one and only Lord of Chaos!” cheered Discord, wearing a jersey with a grinning face of himself, and waving small flags around.

“Make sense? Oh, what fun is there in making sense?”

“Congratulation Discord,” smiled Fluttershy, feeling happy for him.

“Ugh, why is he next?” complained Rainbow, falling back on her cloud.

Now the screen changed to show the empty sky, when suddenly a crack formed in the air.

“What the…?” asked a confused Twilight, nearly letting her muffin drop to the ground if it weren’t for Pinkie making a dive and catching it in her open mouth.

The crack opened, revealing a dark-red space with floating eyes.

“What the buck is THAT?!” yelled Trixie, diving behind Starlight.

A human-looking woman appeared out of the portal, giving both a smile and light chuckle.

“Let’s have some fun, shall we?”

“That is Discord’s opponent?” asked a shaking Spike.

“She looks like a human, but the aura she radiates,” shuddered Twilight. “She’s not normal.”

“That dress! That outfit! Simply marvelous!” gushed Rarity, clearly happy with what she saw.

“And leave it to Rarity to ignore everything else,” sighed Applejack.

DISCORD VS. YUKARI YAKUMO

“Yukari Yakumo, huh? Yet another strange name,” remarked Luna, starring intensively at the blonde woman.

“Well, don’t keep us waiting Twinkle Butt!” urged Discord. “Let’s start the next episode!”

“Okay, okay,” said Twilight, levitating the remote. “Next episode it is!”

Author's Notes:

Well, I went trough the chapter again, and corrected some errors and added a few new pictures. I also edited everything, I hope it looks better now.

Anyway, this is the first time I actually tried to write something by myself, and in a foreign language too! (I'm german)

I hope I will get better over time, I stil struggle to find the right words, but I'll give it my very best.

Anyway, my hopes for this story: get over a 100 likes and write at least 20 chapters, even more if it goes well!

Next battle is coming soon!