"I'm just saying, if you can make a cushion that conforms to my ass so easily, why can't you make me a mattress that does the same?" you complained, refusing to even look at Chrysalis, your body turned awkwardly in your throne for the mere denial of your eyes on her body.

"Don't be mad at me, it's not easy to collect the mucus that's filling that cushion. I basically had to wring dry several platoons of my guards just to get that made. A whole mattress requires more time, so please just ease up," Chrysalis pleaded, her efforts to give you puppy dog eyes wasted as you still refused to look at her.

Chrysalis wanted to reward you for the new slaves you had acquired for her, even though it was totally by accident. So what did you ask for? A fucking mattress. A real one, that didn't hurt like a slab of granite. Yet she had the nerve to deny you the one thing you truly desired! You'd already fucked her, so it's not like she needed to hold out on you to lure you to her bed.

"Anon, please, the negotiator will be here any moment and I don't want you angry at me while we're discussing the terms of the settlement and your release, it'll send the wrong message," Queen Holeyer-Than-Thou declared, the desperation in her voice far from what a queen should have.

"And what message would that be? The message that I'm being abused with shitty bedding!?" you shout, finally turning to her to point a finger at her angrily. "You feed me magic viagra, immediately ask if I want to fuck instead of asking how my day is going, and didn't even bother to tell me you loved me after we fucked! Am I just a sex object to you? Are you ashamed of me?"

Gasping, Chrysalis reeled back from that one, almost slipping off her own throne. "Anon, you know that's not true! I just figured you'd want to make up on all the sex we hadn't been having up until now, that's why I don't ask how you're doing. And you rutted me unconscious, I couldn't say a thing after that. As for the magic viagra... I don't know what viagra is," Chrysalis tried to defend herself and her actions, but you simply snorted and turned away again.

"May I remind you that the negotiator is already here?" Ap asked, the disappointment in her voice evident as she declared the hive's guest was already in the throne room. Chrysalis and you both looked to see that Strong Words was indeed already in the throne room, a mixture of frustration and confusion on his face as he looked between the two of you.

"How long has he been there? Who let him in?" Chrysalis inquired, straightening her posture and looking to blame someone.

"You ordered for him to come in as soon as you got on your throne, then forgot about him when Anon started bitching about his mattress," Apocrita answered, not in the least afraid of being punished for pointing out it was Chrysalis' own fault.

"Indeed. I was going to impose, but after my last dealing with you while... he was around, I wondered if it was really worth the effort," Strong Words agreed, shooting a quick glare at you. Luna did say that he didn't have much of a high opinion of you after the first negotiation meeting, so clearly that hadn't changed. That was fine, fuck him too! Him and his perfectly quaffed beard that you could shave off his face and wear on your own!

"Hi! Hi Strong Words, hi!" you shouted like a child, waving at him as though he couldn't see you. Act like the gullible idiot and he'll be the asshole for hating you. Plus, you needed to milk a few things out of him... nothing gay though. Although, it might have worked more were you not wearing a t-shirt Chrysalis had made for you with little stick figure characters representing the princesses being hung at the gallows. Probably should have dressed for the occasion better. "Did you bring me anything from Canterlot? Souvenir? Did the princesses send anything with you?"

Sighing, Strong Words used his magic to move his cape aside, revealing a saddlebag that he quickly levitated a parcel out of. "Princess Celestia did ask that I bring you this 'care package' as she called it," he acknowledged, levitating it over in your direction, only for Chrysalis' aura to engulf it and yank it toward herself.

"I'm sorry Anon, but customs requires that I intercept all packages from foreign nations we are at war with for inspection," Chrysalis apologized, although the bitter expression she had said she wanted to make sure Celestia wasn't winning your favor.

Shrugging, you replied "That's fine, I can wait... and what about Apocrita's souvenir?"

"Pardon?" Strong Words asked, once more totally thrown off by the random request.

"I see we're back to unnecessarily involving me in your shenanigans," Ap sighed, hanging her head in defeat.

"Apocrita's souvenir. She was clearly here during the last negotiation and has been waiting for her own souvenir from Canterlot. It was implied during the last negotiation that she should get something," you all but demanded. Of course Ap didn't so much as say one word about wanting anything and you had made the whole thing about you, but you needed Strong Words to be the asshole here.

"I... no... I didn't bring anything for your guard," Strong Words replied, looking to your violet-eyed best friend with a raised brow.

"I see..." you muttered, tapping your fingers against your thrown. You then tossed up one of your feet across your other leg, undoing the shoelace so you could slip the tennis shoe off of your foot. The moment it was free, you tossed it at Strong Words, shouting "You have failed me for the last time, Strong Words!" The shoe only went so far, hitting the ground before it got close to him, bouncing a few times. Seeing as that failed, you snapped your fingers and commanded "Guards, execute him."

The royal guards nodded and the two closest to Strong words began to close in on him. The unicorn was completely surprised by such a startling revelation, backing up quickly. "W-wait, hold on, this doesn't make sense. He's a h-hostage, not a-"

"Guards, stop. Anon, calm down sweetie," Chrysalis commanded. You grumbled, crossing your arms and leaning back into your throne while the guards backed away. "My apologies Strong Words, Anon's in bit of a mood and taking it out on everyone around him. He really didn't mean it, he's just trying to make me look like a bad host," the queen apologized, which was a very weird concept for the tyrannical leader of murder bugs to be doing on behalf of her prisoner.

Clearing his throat, Strong Words replied "Look, I should just go anyway. The only reason I came here was to respectfully announce that we are declining your previous... offer for Anon's safe return. Our people cannot in good conscious enslave generations of ponies for one being, even if he is one of a kind."

"Oh, that's fine, I was rescinding that offer anyways," Chrysalis dismissed with a wave of her hoof.

You gasped at the revelation, although part of you really wasn't surprised at all. "You were rescinding it? Am I not worth it anymore? Am I not as priceless as I had once thought?" you whined, pouting at the queen to make her feel guilty.

"I am also surprised by this declaration, considering how you spoke of the situation before. However, if this means you are willing to reopen negotiations for a more reasonable return price, I am more than willing to make my efforts shown, despite our past problems," Strong Words declared, a small smile on his face as reason seemed to return to the table. Now he could finally do his job in proper, and might even carry favor with the princesses for getting you back.

"Oh, not at all. I've simply come to realize that the settlement offer I had provided earlier was a woefully undervalued price for my dear, sweet Anon," Chrysalis corrected, a sly smirk growing as she knew just how much she was going to smash Strong Words' hopes, as well as lift your spirits once more.

"Pardon, but are you saying that a slave breeding farm for the sake of your people's continued feeding isn't worth this one man?" Strong Words asked, looking like he just got sucker punched by Chrysalis.

"Oh, most definitely. Would you care to hear his list of accomplishments?" Chrysalis offered.

"No, I'd really rath-"

"For starters, he's proven himself a master of deception, beating myself and two of my elites in a game we use to determine supremacy among the lower ranks. Just having him around would make him a shining beacon for my Changelings to aspire to," Chrysalis cut him off, ready to praise you to the high heavens and stroke your ego. Literally and metaphorically.

"Well, I suppose that is all good, bu-"

"Then he recently subjugated a pack of Diamond Dogs that would dare try and steal from me, not only sparing my less capable guards from having to fight them, but even providing me with a new stock of slaves that I may use for whatever I see fit. And might I say he did so without damaging any of the goods?... well, except for the scrawny one, but that one wouldn't be of much use anyways," the queen continued on, chuckling a bit as she thought of Arturo.

Glaring at you, Strong Words snorted. "Did he now? I wasn't aware that our resident human was a slaver."

"Oh, but he's so much more than that," Chrysalis quickly stated. "He's also a sexual god. It took some time, but he finally agreed to mate with me, and to the hive what a stallion he is! Such an inventive lover, capable of doing things with those hands that pony hooves are simply incapable of. And lets not forget how he lasts so much longer than any colt could. Oh, the things he did to me in that first rutting alone had me drooling on the floor, but even after he came, he was such an animal," Chrysalis declared with a shudder. "Shoot, I'm going to have to have my throne cleaned just thinking about it."

"This was far more than I needed to know by any means," Strong Words grimaced, looking at you in disgust. "Especially with such obvious exaggerations. It's a known fact you've been a most vivacious... lover and most have fallen to the wayside trying to please you in the past."

"So glad to know the nobility keeps track of such things," Chrysalis said with a sneer, her eyes glancing to you as she knew just what you were about to do.

"The fuck do you mean by exaggerated!?" you shouted, hopping off your throne, almost stumbling as you remembered you threw your shoe. "Ap, be a friend and fetch my shoe for me," you whispered to her, earning a resigned sigh from the guard as she trotted forward to retrieve it from you.

Remembering who he was dealing with, Strong Words said "Sir Anon, I did not mean to offend, but these allegations seem like words of fiction, drawn up by Queen Chrysalis to inflate your worth so she might better lev-"

"Nuh uh, no! You ain't giving me that crock of shit," you interrupted, taking your shoe back from Apocrita as she returned with it, giving her a kindly head pat that she tried to shrug off. As you put the shoe back on, making it hard to look intimidating as you knelt to tie the laces, you said "Nobody casts shame on my sexual prowess! We can throw down right now!"

Rearing back a little, finding himself surprised time and again by your words and actions, Strong Words said "Sir Anon, I'm not going to engage you in fisticuffs, if that is what you're implying."

"What? No, fuck that," you stated, looking at him like he was the idiot now... cause he was. "How would fighting you prove I'm a better beast in the bed? No, whip out your dick, right now. Chrysalis owes me sex whenever I want and I doubt she'd care if I let you in on the action to show you up."

"He's right, if that's what he wants, I'm open to it. Why, I'll even transform into one of the princesses if it'll help get you going," Chrysalis agreed, a sly smirk on her face that indicated she was utterly amused by this.

"I will n-not!" Strong Words gasped, although it was clear by the sweat rolling down the side of his face that he was considering it after Chrysalis' suggestions. "And what is this about you having sex whenever he wants, I thought he was the hostage here! Although I'm having a hard time believing that at this point," he muttered, not sure what your position in the hive was any longer.

"Oh, that game he won that I mentioned earlier, it had certain stipulations. Mostly that whoever won got to command the losers anything they desired of them. Anon used his command over me so that we might have sex whenever he desired it," Chrysalis elaborated, her grin growing to a predatory manner, making you realize that things were about to get bad. "I must say, I was surprised that he didn't use it to ask for his own freedom or that I relinquish my throne. Anything he asked, I'd be magically obligated to fulfill. I was so pleased when he used it for his own pleasure... and mine as well. Again, he's simply divine. I'm thinking of adding him to our pantheon as the God of Sex."

"You... you could have spared us the trouble of these negotiations, of these ideas to enslave ponies as cattle, just so you could mate with her?" Strong Words asked, a look of utter disgust on his face. You could tell it wasn't the idea that you were having sex with Chrysalis, no. It was the very idea of you that made him so repulsed.

"I, um... I've got a good reason for that?" you stated, although the uncertainty in your voice made it clear you couldn't figure out how to possibly answer him. Sure, you had a plan. A damned fine plan. But if you explained why you chose sex with Chrysalis whenever you wanted over freedom or worse for the tyrannical queen, you'd be exposing it in front of Chrysalis, potentially ruining everything.

Snorting indignantly, Strong Words spat "If by good reason you mean to fulfill your need for sexual gratification, then I'm sure you do." Turning his attention back to Chrysalis, he said "I think this is more than proof enough that these negotiations are no longer necessary. Clearly Anon is not only healthy and safe in your hooves, but he's even happier here than he ever was or would be in Canterlot."

Chuckling darkly, Chrysalis leaned forward, her mane hanging over the throne at this point. "Oh, I completely agree with you and commend your thinking. However, I might remind you that if you wish to follow this path, it will be Equestria and not my hive that will be closing these negotiations. And considering how beloved my dear, sweet Anon is within the hive, what with his massive fan club, I'd be hard pressed to say we'd be willing to ever open negotiations again."

"Oh come on, you're making me sound like I'm really that loved! They only enjoy the fact that I'm amazing and when we have sex, orgies break out... wait..." you contested, only to realize how bad that sounded for your case.

"Fan club? Orgies?" Strong Words asked, narrowing his eyes at you. "Yes, I'm quite sure that Anon will be better off here than in Canterlot. I'll be sure to pass along the word of your luxurious life as part of Chrysalis' concubine to the princesses," the old unicorn said with such venom, you wondered if he could have been a Changeling in disguise... wait, was he? Was this all some sort of elaborate trick? Was Chrysalis gaslighting you? That twisted bitch!

As you had an existential crisis, Chrysalis merely giggled, waving a hoof in Strong Words' direction. "Oh, I wouldn't call him my concubine. I'd like to imagine him more as a... suitor on the cusps of being my fiance. I do hope that it works out better than my last wedding though, you know how that went."

Turning his back on the two of you, Strong Words started making his way out, declaring "I would not be a gentlecolt if I did not wish you two a long and happy marriage when that day comes... just do me a favor and don't invite me to the wedding."

"Oh, don't worry, when we get to it, I plan for it to be a small affair. Family, friends... maybe a few members of royalty," Chrysalis replied in a hushed, but menacing tone. You realized here that everything you'd done, all the preparations you had made... they may not be enough.

Author's Notes:

Would it still be fisticuff for ponies, or hooficuffs? Got a little late on this one, but it's still out! My chapter a day streak has not been broken! DON'T JUDGE ME!