"So Chitin said that every time you eat the grubs and royal jelly, you're going to get an hour long erection?" Apocrita asked, shooting you a disturbed look, actually concerned about your well being... sorta.

"Yeah, apparently that royal jelly really hits me hard, cause it's made with a little magic, and since we don't have that in my world, my body is basically being ravaged with the unknown," you reply, picking up a book from one of the shelves before setting it back.

You'd agreed to come back to the library, and even said you'd try not to start anything with the librarian. Part of the reason came from the fact that your fan club, as amazing as they were for recognizing your glory, got a little tiring when around in excess. Members of it had followed you to your room, to the dining room, and even to the bathroom. And while you didn't turn down the offer to let one of them wipe your ass for you, it was a bit stifling.

The other part was, as you were explaining to Apocrita, the fact that your new diet was giving you erections that would last an hour. You'd seen Chitin about it and he basically said that, while your body would acclimate eventually, you had no immunity or resistance to magic, and so it was hitting you hard. Even without sexual stimulation, you were going to be hard. So until you developed some magical antibodies or whatever, you needed to avoid aggravating it. That also meant no fucking Chrysalis with magical jelly enhancements. Chitin wasn't sure how long your erections would last if you were actually aroused, and had suspected your dick might actually shoot off your body, which you did not want to test out.

And so you came to the library, where you got some relief from your fan club, as well as nothing that would get you aroused. Just books, a bitchy old librarian, and Apocrita. Probably best to put some distance between you and Chrysalis too, since she was finding it difficult not to encourage you to using her body in every way conceivable, and a few that were still inconceivable.

"I still find it hard to believe that your world doesn't have magic... are there any other side effects to being exposed to it for the first time in your life?" Apocrita asked, concern blatantly present in her voice. You forgot that, when surrounded by books, she usually eased up a bit and cared about you openly.

"Nothing much. Rashes, insomnia, narcolepsy, explosive sneezing, immortality, and demonic possession," you answered, trying not to look at Apocrita as she glared at you. When she didn't answer you, you relented and said "Honestly, we don't know what to expect. Maybe I'll have no other side effects, maybe I'll get hit with so many that you won't even recognize me. Magic can do all sorts of shit after all."

Ap frowned at the answer, clearly not pleased with it, but unable to really offer a proper input to the matter. Shaking her head, she said "Then lets just hope whatever side effect you do get, if any, are good... although I suppose in your case, any change would be an improvement."

You scoffed, planting your hands on your hips and postured yourself to look as exceedingly overconfident as all get out. "You can't improve upon perfection, Ap, it just can't be done... although... maybe if this could make me grow a second dick. Imagine the possibilities!" you exclaimed, in a hushed voice, lest that bitch librarian start... bitching.

Rolling her eyes, Apocrita trotted away from you, trying to ignore this, even as she said "Why does everything have to revolve around your penis?"

"Because my penis is the source of life!... I mean, ovaries and the vagina and all that shit are too, but I don't have those, so I focus on what I can provide," you answered, quickly following in step. "Seriously though, I could do vaginal and anal at the same time. Forget leaving Chrysalis unconscious, I'll put her into a fucking pleasure coma. Then I can usurp power of the hive as her consort and rule with an iron fist, leading the armies to conquer new lands! Mwahahaha!" you declared, an evil laugh escaping you at the thought.

"I'm not sure which I should be more concerned with. The fact that you just openly stated you plan on stealing the throne of power from my queen or the fact you clearly would use it to invade the lands of ponies that are actively trying to save you right now," Ap muttered, trying to take it in stride as she inspected a book cover, then gave a shrug and added it to her saddlebag. "I almost forgot that you basically ousted an entire pony town and a princess, just because you felt slighted."

"That was a happy accident," you retorted, even though the only ones happy would be the Changelings. "But you seem to be ignoring the important part... like my dicks."

"You still have just the one," Ap shot back, not even doing you the service of facing you.

"Yet! Why, I need to get started on dick names! The only one I can think of now is the Twin Towers, but that... that's not the best name, even by my standards," you groaned, not liking the implication of that at all.

"Why is that? Sounds as good as any to m-" Ap started asking, her poor naivety not understanding the horrors of your own world. However, she never got to finish her question, as a loud explosion went off in the far corner of the library, the two of you safe from debris only because of the shelves, but books fell from them as the structure shook.

"What's going on!?" the library bitch shouted, running past the row you two were in to investigate the explosion.

Apocrita spun around to face you, kicking off the ground in what seemed like a tackle, but as her forelegs wrapped around your midsection, her wings began buzzing with activity, carrying you in the opposite direction. "We need to leave, NOW!" she shouted, even though it clearly wasn't necessary with your close proximity.

"What's going on? Who's attacking!? Where are we going!?" you asked in a frenzy, going limp to try and make it difficult for Ap. Why? Because you didn't know what was going on and that pissed you off. Also, maybe the ponies were coming to free you at last. You expected a more subtle method, but hey, if they had an elite squad of explosives experts, you were cool with this.

"Anon, quit fighting me!" Apocrita shouted, redoubling her efforts, but finding soon after that you were squirming to get out of her hold. "This is for your protection you dipshit! We need to leave before they spot you!" she snarled, a truly vicious gesture that was all up in your face... but beyond it, as almost a glimmer in her crazy compounded bug eyes, you saw fear.

Sighing, you twisted around in her grip, actually escaping it, but the moment your feet hit the ground, you took off running, saving her the effort of having to carry you. "You owe me an explanation after this!" you shouted, turning the corner toward the exit to escape. Unfortunately, you already noticed something was barreling toward you through the periphery of your vision as you were turning, and in only a few steps, you felt something tackle you to the ground, thankfully saving your still erect cock by bringing your hands under you and positioning them to defend the precious shaft, even if it meant you were going to hit hard with your chest. Dick first, everything else was but an afterthought.

Whatever it was growled, digging its claws into your back, likely ruining the new t-shirt Chrysalis gave you of a black pony skull on green fabric, which you really liked. Stupid son of a bitch was going to pay for the repairs, although the feel of slobber and hot breath on the back of your neck indicated they could care less about you or your shirt.

"What sort of creature is this?" it snarled, sniffing at you.

"GET OFF OF HIM!" you heard Apocrita roar, followed by a loud THWACK as the weight on your back disappeared.

Rolling on your back, you looked to see Apocrita hovering in the air a little off to the side, fangs bared as she glared at... a dog? At least, it looked like a dog, specifically some sort of pitbull, but had a body that reminded you more of a chimpanzee or gorilla, with almost oversized arms and significantly smaller back legs, with a short, stubby tail that ended in an almost flail like mass. It was wearing a black leather collar and a dirty blue vest. You figured that it could come up to a little below your chest if it was standing, but considering Ap had apparently struck it with the force of semi-truck, the canine lay crumpled on the floor, the shelf it struck splintered to the point it was likely going to fall over soon.

"The fuck is that? Dog-ape?" you asked, pushing yourself back to your feet. You winced, feeling a few puncture wounds in your back, but you saved your penis, so that was good.

"Just a Diamond Dog. Filthy mongrels that dig around looking for gems," Ap spat, keeping an eye on it, but trying to shoot a few glances your way to make sure you were fine. "The library's located underground, so it must have accidentally dug its way here... but that wouldn't explain why it'd use explosives to get into the hive."

"That would be my doing," a low, almost Italian sounding voice declared.

You and Ap spun to see that where the Diamond Dog had come from, there was a whole pack making its way through the library. Some were sniffing around, searching for anything of value apparently, but there were definitely a few focused solely on the two of you, snarling aggressively, their muscles tensed to attack at any given moment. One, you noted, even had the library bitch already in his mouth, carrying her like a chew toy. They all seemed, for the most part, the same breed as the first you saw. Pitbull like with white fur, but there was one that drew your attention as it walked past the rest.

A small, almost hilariously so, Diamond Dog that seemed to be a Chihuahua, wearing a full blue suit jacket with a black hat shuffled forward, his steps assisted by a cane, his height bringing him not even up to your knee. Even when he finally stopped, he seemed to be shaking like all Chihuahua do, his eyes not appearing to focus but just looking out into space. It was so weird and kinda creepy... but no, this was definitely hilarious.

"You have to accept my apology, I do hate being a terrible house guest, but my boys, they just don't understand manners," the Diamond Dog stated in a tone that reminded you very much of a classic movie mobster from the mafia, taking his hat off his head and bowing, almost falling forward because of his stupidly oversized head. Straightening up, he continued "I am Don Arturo, head of the Ruby Raiders. I feel I should at least be forthcoming in the fact that I am here to take all of your gems. If you would be so kind, we will take them all and leave. You may even have your compatriot back."

Staring down at the little Diamond Dog, you turned to Ap and said "Are they for fucking real right now?"

Turning his attention solely to you, Arturo said "I do not understand this word of yours, this 'fucking', but I can tell it is not a term of respect by the inflection in your voice... also, what kind of creature are you?"

Before you could answer, Apocrita flew between the two of you and said "You're in the wrong place. This is a Changeling hive, in case you haven't noticed by the fact that I'm a Changeling. We don't worry about gems, so we don't have any. The only thing you'll find here is a lot of pain and suffering if you don't leave as of ten seconds ago."

"But that is where you are wrong. My boys, they sniff out gems, they know their gems, they're good boys like that, ain't you boys?" Arturo asked his crew, who quickly nodded and agreed to his words, taking less interest in you as he addressed Apocrita, which was fine for once. You'd taken the opportunity to head over to one of the fallen books and rip a few pages out of it. "Besides, you surround yourself in these books, but why would you need them either? Honestly, I do not care. We just want the gems. If need be, we will use this library as a staging ground and you three as hostages until the rest of your hive come up with the gems," he elaborated, every word he spoke in that unfitting accent of his only made you miss watching The Godfather... oooh, you should totally tell Ap about it as your next story, she'd probably like it.

"Not happening. I'm an elite guard and more will be here in a moment, not that I need their assistance. I'm only being nice because I'd rather not waste my time on you all," Apocrita warned, her eyes narrowing to an extent that you thought she'd be firing lasers from them any moment.

"Nah, it's fine, I got this," you interjected, walking back over with the pages you ripped from the books, twisting them together.

"Anon, no-"

"And this guy again. Who is this schmuck?" Arturo asked, his tone indicating it he was upset, but it was so hard to read his weird Chihuahua face. Then, he seemed to take notice of the fact that you were still rather erect. "Oh, I see, this guy, he thinks he's the Alpha around here, does he? He wants to challenge me, is that it?" he asked, holding his cane off to the side for one of the other Diamond Dogs to take. He began to remove his suit jacket, folding it neatly without taking his eyes off of you. "You think you're hot, but you're not. I didn't become the leader of this pack by-"

You couldn't bother with him anymore, and so you did the only thing that really came to mind, and punted the tiny canine into the air, a yelp slowly fading away the further he got. The other Diamond Dogs gaped at the fact you just kicked their leader like that. Those closest to you quickly started snarling, ready to lunge, when you swung your arm out, bringing the twisted pages, now looking like a rolled up newspaper, down on one of their snouts.

"NO! Bad dog, bad! Go sit in the corner!" you commanded, waving the paper in his face. The Diamond Dog and his companions were frozen for a moment, surprised that you did such a thing and the odd effect it had on them. They tried to recover, but the moment you saw their teeth baring, you struck him on the nose again. "BAD! Go sit in the corner before I find a spray bottle!" you ordered once more, the Diamond Dog now whimpering a bit and slinking away from you.

"What... what am I watching right now?" Apocrita asked, flabbergasted by the display as you started marching forward, waving the paper in the face of another of the canines, who took only one snout smacking before whimpering and crawling away.

You only had to hit a few more once each before they started slinking away to a corner, ears drooping as they tried to stick low to the ground. It was only when the one carrying the librarian in his mouth tried to sneak past without getting hit that you spoke up.

"You! Drop it!" you commanded, earning a fearful look from him, but not his immediate compliance. Shoving the paper in his face, you hissed "Drop it!" He whined, but lowered his head and let the librarian roll off of his tongue. "Good boy," you declared, even reaching out to scratch him behind the ear, getting a smile and one of those things where he'd scratch at his side with one of his back leg things that dogs always seemed to do.

It didn't take long afterwards for the rest of the guards to arrive, having noticed the explosion in the rest of the hive, and start caging the Diamond Dogs. Apocrita and Pharynx stood by your side as they started carting off the cages to the hive's prison.

"I still have a hard time believing you did this without bloodshed," Pharynx muttered, watching as one of the Diamond Dogs whimpered at you as they passed by.

"I mean, I did have to kick their leader, but besides that, it was pretty harmless," you stated with a shrug.

"Queen Chrysalis will be pleased with the new supply of slaves, I guess," Apocrita mumbled, not really sure what she should be feeling at this moment.

Glancing over at her, you cleared your throat, drawing her eyes. "You seemed kinda surprised, or at least less concerned, when you realized it was Diamond Dogs, but before that you seemed fairly certain you had something bigger to deal with. What did you think it was?"

Ap stared at you for a moment, her eyes flicking over to Pharynx, who seemed interested as well, then snorted. "I thought the ponies were attacking to take you back. It'd have been my carapace if you were taken. I should have realized they wouldn't dare to attack without their magic," she explained.

"True, but you reacted as any elite guard should have in this situation. Queen Chrysalis would have been most displeased if anything bad had happened to Anon, although we should probably get those claw marks checked out," Pharynx suggested, having taken notice of your minuscule wounds.

"Yeah, I could totally use some ointment for that. Something good to masturbate with too," you stated, earning confused looks from the two as you started walking out of the library. Why would you need to masturbate when you had a slutty queen to fuck whenever you wanted? You didn't. But fucking with Apocrita and Pharynx made you smile... which reminded you.

Turning back to Pharynx, you pointed at him and said "Oh, by the way, using my command now. I command you to go out and find your brother."

Pharynx reared back, astonished by the seemingly random order you were issuing. "W-What? You can't be serious. I'm an elite guard, I can't-"

"You can, cause you have to. Magically issued commands, bitch!" you shouted, holding up your hand as the emblem, only lasting this long because you still had one left, slowly faded away. "Don't worry though, I'll let Chrysalis know. Can't blame you for me fucking around."

Pharynx gave a stern look, clearly wanting to say something, but his wings started to flutter, lifting him off the ground. Sighing, he conceded to the command he could not disobey, and took off in search of his brother.

Watching him leave, Ap asked "Why are you commanding him to do that? I thought you were going to fuck with him, you made that seemingly clear."

"I've got a good guy quota I need to meet. If I don't, I can't say I'm a nice guy with a straight face," you joked, smirking at her before continuing your walk out. "Now come on, I've got another story I want to share with you. It's about a mafia family."

Author's Notes:

I do not condone animal abuse and neither does Anon.

Also, totally anti-climatic issuing of Pharynx command, but trust me... it might be worth it.