Nova: "Didja miss me?" *in cragadile roars*

It had been three days since Durin and Tora’s little escapade in the capital, and the Guards were searching high and low for whoever had made such fools of their regents. Sadly for the diarchs, rumors did get out, and while they were being stamped out swiftly, they stubbornly refused to die.

It didn’t help that the cause of the rumors, namely the pranksters, had yet to be found.

The rumors ranged from a random, lecherous thief, to Discord, and even to a new kind of monster, and whilst Discord had been questioned thoroughly, he simply laughed whenever asked.

Regardless, Tora had decided to lay low at Durin’s house since then, just in case.

Her eyes opened to the sight of a somewhat unfamiliar roof up until her brain finished booting up and she remembered why she was where she was.

“...Still worth it, deadset,” Tora smiled lazily and stretched her limbs and back to get any stiffness out of her joints. “Now fer tucker.”

As she made to get off the couch, she heard the familiar thudding footsteps of Durin coming near.

“Sup, Mr. Landloooo...rd?”

Her breath died in her throat when Durin walked by the doorway...in the nude.

She immediately took a flask hidden away on her usual gear’s belt and chugged the sweet stolen royal pony booze like water. If she was gonna be going in there red-faced, she’d at least have the excuse of being tipsy.

Once she finished drinking liver killer, she stood up and walked out of the room and into the kitchen.

“SO. GOOD MORNING, LANDLORD. HOW ARE YOU?”

Durin jumped, looking up from the confines of his refrigerator. “Tora? What’re you doin’-” His eyes widened. “Oh. Right. You’re staying here for a bit.” He looked down at himself. Blushed.

“Yeah.”

He then proceeded to hide behind the refrigerator door.

“Might decide t’ take m’ fuckin’ chances out there rather’n wake up t’ a red rocket every mornin’,” Tora coughed into her hand, pointedly keeping her gaze on a particularly interesting window. “Tucker. Y’know the drill.”

“Shit, Tora, I’m so sorry! I’m just so used to living alone, and-and-!” Durin started to babble.

“Food. An’ we’ll pretend this never happened,” Tora repeated, hoping he’d take the hint and the offer.

Durin paused at this, looked down at himself, then slowly pulled a bowl from the fridge; carefully wrapped in plastic and looking to have Shaelmaar meat, but also various vegetables together in a golden yellow soup.

“Sh-Shaelmaar potage. Just...heat it up on the stove for a bit.” He told her, remaining behind the fridge door.

She nodded and took the bowl from him, dropping it on the stove and then ducking her head down into a drawer, “Safe t’ go, m’ peepers are occupied.”

He needed no further encouragement, scampering out of the room with rapid slaps of his bare feet on the floor.

Tora pulled her head out of the drawer and sighed, “This...is just m’ life, now. I can tell.”

A knocking came from the front door. A very rapid knocking, that didn’t stop.

Groaning, the Abyssinian stood up and left the potage to the mercy of Lady Luck so that she could answer the door, “Who th’ bloody hell is it?”

Who she found was a bit surprising; Vinyl and Octavia, with the latter looking upset and the former giddy, but also Curtis and even Fountain, with the former carrying a paper bag that held the aroma of meat.

“Friends,” Curtis replied simply.

“And your delivery,” Fountain said with a smirk.

Tora all but threw her usual 50 bits plus 25 bit tip at Curtis and gently took the meat from him, “You two are merciful deities come t’ relieve m’ need fer tucker. I’m blessed t’ have y’ grace this house with your bounty.”

“Did the booze you raided at least help you this morning?” Vinyl asked cheekily.

“Yes, do tell,” Octavia asked far too politely, a vein visible on her head.

Tora’s face all but froze in a smile as the eloquent word ‘fuck’ was drawn out in the safety of her own head, “Uhhh...I am not responsible for Drunk Tora, nor she for me?”

Curtis, Fountain, and Vinyl chuckled whilst Octavia continued to smile and glare at Tora.

After they’d calmed, Octavia gestured to the door. “May we come in? We have so much to catch up on, after all.”

“...At least y’ didn’t come here earlier while Durin was buck naked. Fine, come in, even if ain’t m’ house. By the by, how’s th’ ankle-biter, Fountain? They okay, no complications?”

Vinyl and Octavia blushed, however, disregarding Tora’s latter words.

“Wait, Tora, you and Durin already fucked?! The Tartarus, I called dibs on him first!” Vinyl cried.

“Vinyl! Much as it is surprising, this is hardly the time!” Octavia reprimanded the other mare.

Curtis and Fountain simply walked into the house, Curtis tipping the hat of his delivery uniform. “Much obliged, Tora.”

“The baby’s as well as she can be, thank you for asking,” Fountain said. She waved to Tora. “We’ll just be inside.”

“Ha ha. Ha. Ha. No, ya sex-crazed root rat, I didn’t fuck Durin an’ he wouldn’t give a fuck if y’ called ‘dibs’ or not. He apparently walks around naked when he’s alone, an’ he forgot that I was hunkerin’ down here now,” Tora replied with a narrowed glare that advised caution.

Vinyl puffed out her cheeks. “Still ain’t fair you got to see his junk first.”

“Vinyl,” Octavia warned.

The mare huffed. “Fine, fine. We’ll go ‘ask’ about what we already know happened.”

“Thank you,” Octavia said, before walking into the abode, Vinyl following.

Tora went in last, sighing in annoyance as she closed the door behind her, “A’ight, y’wanna talk ‘bout how our two drunken arses raided th’ Princesses’ booze cellar an’ pranked ‘em, just get it th’ fuck over with, sheila.”

“You asked for it,” Vinyl said, then promptly pulled her headphones over her ears.

“What were you two thinking?!” Octavia roared. “I understand that things are rocky with the Princesses, but raiding the castle and pranking them is childish AND makes things worse for you BOTH!” She stomped a hoof. “Do you have ANY idea how worried I’ve been? I’ve even gone so low as to start tracking the Guard patrols in town along with the Element’s to make sure they stay away!”

“...Lemme tell ya somethin’, Ukelele,” Tora said as she got close to Octavia’s face. “Durin an’ I saw how much th’ Princesses an’ Elements refused t’ accept that Durin wasn’t a criminal, threat or animal needin’ a cage. They refused t’ apologize an’ defended their bullshite, kneejerk reactions like stubborn asses. They demanded he stay when they’d given him no reason t’ do so. We got drunk t’ try an’ forget their shite, but then Drunk Tora an’ Drunk Durin took over an’ vented some anger towards th’ cunts. Wouldja’ve preferred it festered an’ rotted inside us ‘til it broke out in a torrent o’ toxicity an’ hate?”

Octavia stood her ground, glaring at Tora. “I’m not blaming you for your or his views, Tora. Me and Vinyl both agree with your views.” Tears filled her eyes. “We were worried you’d brought more pain onto yourselves, but if you’re going to stoop to calling me names, then I question whether we were friends to you!”

Vinyl stepped in, placing a hoof on her marefriend’s shoulder and pulling her headphones off. “Easy, Tavi-”

“No!” Octavia shouted, slapping the hoof away. “I refuse to act aloof, or act like I’m NOT worried about two dear friends who only seem to want to push even US away now!”

“HEY!” Vinyl shot back. “Don’t put words in their mouths, Tavi!”

“Listen t’ th’ root rat, Octavia. Y’ think Durin an’ I were being childish? Th’ Princesses were even more so, th’ Elements too. They fucked Durin over, an’ we just got ‘im some payback is all. Be glad all we did was pranks,” Tora said as she slipped a hunting knife out of her boot. “I had this on me when we were there. I used it t’ cut hair an’ shite. Durin had a fuckin’ hammer. If we were drunk enough an’ had let th’ anger fester...the Princesses might not’ve woken up period.”

Octavia growled. “That’s not the BUCKING point!” She stomped a hoof again, tears flowing freely. “Do you know what this is REALLY going to do? It’s putting you both ON the path of being enemies of the state! Do you know how frightening that is for me? To know that my own friends are in THAT much danger? That they both might be hunted for the rest of their lives?!”

“Oh, I fuckin’ know how much you’re worried, but guess what: You don’t need t’ be. We’re FINE, nothing went wrong, we both got this shite out of our systems, done deal. Y’ wanna scream at someone, scream at th’ cunts with a chip on their shoulders.”

Octavia growled up at Tora, tears streaming down her face, before pushing past her and back outside.

Vinyl sighed deeply, falling on her plot and running a hoof through her mane. “Buckin’ Tartarus…”

Durin soon came into the hallway, thankfully fully dressed. “What uh, what was with all the yelling?”

Vinyl gave the man a tired look and worn smile. “Best we talk about it after we all eat. Tavi’ll need some time to herself.”

“Uh, okayy?” He looked to Tora. “You wanna go eat that potage, then? I saw it still on the stove, smelt a bit burnt.”

“Eh, we got quality cuts from Curtis here. Better tastin’ anyways, much as I hate t’ insult yer cookin’,” Tora waved a hand, signing off the potage as a total loss.

“So,” Fountain began after taking a sip of tea. “How’ve you two been? According to Vinyl here, you two went on a raid on Canterlot Castle?”

Durin winced. “Yyyeeeeah…”

“Worth it,” Tora said, drinking a glass of milk while setting one in front of Vinyl. “Here, try this.”

Vinyl blinked, then shrugged. “A’ight.” Taking the glass in her magic, she took a swig. “Mmm, not bad.”

“I mean, I do think it was worth it too, but, well,” Durin scratched the side of his cheek uneasily.

“You still have reservations?” Curtis surmised.

Durin frowned. “Kinda? It’s hard to explain.”

“I got to milk Sunbutt when I got hungry,” Tora casually remarked, and grinned when she saw Vinyl’s eyes widen, look down at the milk...and then slowly take another swig.

“Two hundred bits for a quarter of the keg I got in Durin’s storage, and four hundred for one of the glasses of Luna’s I nabbed on the way out,” the Abyssinian’s grin never shrank a bit.

Durin’s eyes widened at this. “Wait, when the hell did you manage to get Luna’s? You only had three minutes, and you didn’t come out of Celestia’s room before then-!”

“Window.”

Durin closed his mouth. “...I am once again in awe of your feline speed and grace.”

“Mhm, damn right. Plus, I gingered Celestia’s private bits, so she woke up BURNING back there an’ on the milkers,” Tora explained to Vinyl with a snicker.

All three Equestrians laughed loudly at this while Durin simply listened with a blush on his face.

Curtis noticed. “Something wrong?”

“Well, uh…” Durin scratched his cheek again. “I do still feel what we did was worth it, and kind of justified but… I do also think we might’ve gone a bit far.”

“So ya think smacking Celestia’s ass until she squirted was too far?~” Tora purred with a knowing look and smug little curl to her lips.

“Tora!” Durin hissed, cheeks burning as the other laughed again.

Vinyl, however, gave voice to a surprising thought. “Heheh, yeah...but, uh, funny as that is...it really might’ve been.”

“‘Too far’ would’a been Durin or I usin’ either of ‘em t’ get ourselves off. An’ we didn’t do that, now did we, Durin?”

Durin looked away. “Yeah, but…” He sighed, scratching the side of his head. “...I don’t know. My head’s still in a whirl about it all. I agree with you and don’t at the same time. It’s weird.”

“Drunk us is weird,” Tora deadpanned, but took another sip of Sunbutt milk.

Fountain spoke up. “Tora, dear, your deflection is showing.” She placed her hooves on her distended belly as she gave the feline a knowing look.

“...I feel we went just int’ th’ gray area,” the cat sighed in defeat. “But t’ be deadset, Durin misunderstood an’ thought I meant three more ass slaps instead’a three minutes.”

Durin’s cheeks burned. “I...have a history of misunderstanding others when drunk.”

“There’s no shame in that,” Curtis reassured, folding his wings in.

“When it results in something like that, how is there not?” Durin shot back.

Curtis and Fountain shared a look before Fountain looked back to the duo. “It sounds to me like you two should talk a bit more about what happened that night, then.” She looked to Vinyl. “And like you should address the concerns of your close friends.” Vinyl winced.

“...She won’t wanna talk t’ me at th’ mo’, so couldja tell her I said I was sorry, Durin?” Tora asked sheepishly, almost nervously.

Durin nodded slowly. “Yeah, yeah, I could do that.” He looked out the window. “...I uh...think she’s pretty pissed, though. I don’t even hear her crying out there anymore.”

“...Not even at the window,” Tora mused, perking her ears up for any sign of Octavia being out there.

Vinyl and Fountain’s ears perked up as well, while Curtis turned his avian eyes to the window himself.

No noise, other than that of the forest slowly waking up.

“...Durin, go outside. Look fer th’ sheila. Now.”

Durin wasted no time, bolting from his seat and summoning his gear as he rushed outside.

“I’m going too!” Vinyl said, hopping off her chair.

Tora sighed and slumped in her chair, “I right fucked this up, it seems. Bugger me.”

A shout came from outside. One that Vinyl and Tora only heard from Durin when he was truly in distress.

“FUCK!!!”

The swamp is churning with rage…