The Pale Eagle of White Tail
Chapter 24: 23 - Lost In The Trees: Realizations
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Durin groaned as he awoke, eyes opening blearily and head pounding like a drum. Wincing, he put a hand on his head. “Ugh,” He groaned, before slowly trying to push himself up. As he did, he noticed he was in his dining room, a familiar tigress across from him, drooling copiously onto his table. He chuckled. “Figures.” Groaning more, he pushed himself to his feet slowly, then walked into the kitchen to make himself something for his hangover.
An hour later and he was feeling better already, walking into the dining room once more and placing a glass of homemade hangover cure next to Tora before walking out of the room and down the stairs. Soon after, he came back with a blanket, and placed it over her.
For a time, he watched her sleep, a small smile on his face. ‘She really is kinda cute when she sleeps.’ He chuckled softly. ‘At least if you don’t count the drool.’ He slowly moved a hand to her undamaged ear, scratching behind it gently.
Tora chuffed in her sleep, her ear flicking repeatedly from the physical contact as she raised her head and pushed it into his fingers. A soft rumble in her chest was a good sign that he wasn’t about to lose a hand from unwanted touchies.
Durin’s smile only grew, but, eventually, he pulled his hand away, gaze moving towards the grave now easily visible through the window. Slowly, the context of his smile changed. ‘...Maybe it’s time I actually explained myself.’ He looked to Tora. ‘...She deserves that much.’ Sighing, he walked over to a chair next to her, sat down in it, and started to go through his Inventory to keep himself busy.
Eventually, the slumbering tigress rose from her slumber with a low groan that was promptly followed by a very uncomfortable burp that often comes with the territory of ‘the morning after getting shit-faced drunk’, and one that would ordinarily have been followed by the burper puking her guts out.
But, because Tora Katt wasn’t a lightweight and was quite the experienced drinker, all that managed to escape her lips was a repressed gagging sound.
“Grck! Ahh, f-ffffawwk, m’ heead,” Tora whined, holding her head with both of her paws to make the world stop spinning, despite the fact she was still sitting at the table.
Durin smiled, pushing the hangover cure further towards her. “For your hangover.”
For a moment, Tora didn’t respond or move a muscle. When she did, she quite reluctantly cracked open an eye to look at Durin, “...th’nks, Dur.” Then, she sluggishly reached out for the cure with a fumbling paw, slowly dragged it back to her, and shoved the neck of the bottle into her mouth, and slowly sucked the contents into her mouth like a kitten on a teat.
One couldn’t fault the tigress for doing so, considering how shitty she was probably feeling at that point.
“Sorry if it doesn’t taste too good. Haven’t tried making this kind before,” Durin apologized, dismissing his Inventory screen.
“...Better’n - URP- th-throwin’ up, mate,” Tora said once she felt the cure getting to work on making her not feel like suicide via gunshot to the head was a splendid course of action. “So...didja en...enjo...oy th’ drinkiiin’ las’ night?”
Durin briefly thought back to said night. The laughter, the jokes and jests, the games… He smiled. “Yeah, I did. It was good to have company again.”
“Guuuud, mate. We di’n’t...say nuth...nuthin’ wee - HIC - weeird las’ night, r-roight?” the tigress asked, finally mustering the courage to expose both eyes to the bane of all drinkers in the morning-after: Natural light.
Durin chuckled. “Only that you shaved a buffalo once. And that you like blue cheese with whipped cream and cherry sauce.” He hummed, then added. “Something about dildos too, but I don’t recall that bit much. Or much after it.”
“...Me an’ m’ drunk mouth. Aaanyways-” Tora said, grunting as she pushed herself up into a sitting position in the chair. “-fer one thing, blue cheese is fuckin’ nasty. An’ two, never used a dildo. Well...that is, not fer pleasure, anyways. Used one t’ stab a fucker’s eye an’ braincase when I rescued some griffin’s daughter from sex traffickers…or was it a pimp?”
“Same difference in my book,” Durin said with a shrug. His gaze dropped to the table for a moment, before he sighed and looked back up to Tora. “So, there’s some things I should explain, if you’re willing to listen.”
“Eh, go ahead. Can’t feel m’ legs at th’ mo, anyways, so I can’t really jus’ fuck off if I don’t wanna hear nothin’,” Tora said, gesturing with a paw for him to continue.
Durin was silent for a time, before sighing. “I imagine you wanna know who Robin was, yeah?”
“...I guess. Y’ don’t have t’ if’n y’ don’t wanna, Durin, jus’ t’ let y’ know,” the Abyssinian replied with a shrug and a brief flicker of concern on her face.
Durin shook his head. “No. No, you deserve to know.” He snorted. “You all almost died because I’ve been hung up on her anyway, so it’s only fair.” Durin sighed again, pausing a moment to collect his thoughts, then continued. “Robin was my best friend. One of three, anyway. She and I went back all the way to my childhood. She was also the one who helped get my job back home a running start.” Durin’s eyes turned misty, and faraway, like an exile recalling their exodus. “She introduced me to a lot of stuff, lots of ideas and experiences. Helped me through a lot of rough patches.” He smiled bitterly. “If I’m being honest, I fell for her a long while back. Just never had the guts to ask her out.” He clenched his fist. “...And the day I did, I got a call telling me she was found in her apartment, hanging from a rope around her neck.”
“...Was there ever a reason fer why she did it?” Tora asked softly.
“...Suicidal depression. Never went away no matter how much assurance I gave her.” Durin grit his teeth. “...I failed her. Plain and simple.”
“...Mate. I hate t’ say it, but yer a fuckin’ drongo an’ a dickhead if y’ think y’ coulda changed the outcome. It was her life, mate. From wot I’ve gathered, livin’ with that kinda depression is hell, so she was prolly sufferin’ day in an’ day out because of it. Th’ fact that she held out fer as long as she did is a testament t’ her resolve, cuz th’ way I see it, th’ only reason she didn’t kill herself sooner was cuz she was holdin’ out fer your sake,” Tora said, eyes narrowed in a firm, stern glare. “She put up with her depression fer you, held out as long as she could t’ make y’ happy an’ make sure yer life was in order. Sayin’ you failed her sounds like y’ thought she woulda wanted t’ keep livin’ that hell, like her death wasn’t finally th’ end of her sufferin’. She chose to die, Durin - she didn’t jus’ accidentally put a noose on herself; she made a decision that she had every right t’ make, and to be bloody honest, y’ shoulda respected her decision instead o’ treatin’ it like it was your ‘responsibility’ t’ keep her alive even if she didn’t wanna be. If she was dyin’ o’ some disease that made every second o’ her life agonizing an’ she wanted t’ die, wouldja keep her alive then, too?”
Durin went silent, staring her down for a long time. After what felt like hours, he sighed and dropped his gaze. “...I guess you have a point.” He gained a small, melancholy smile. “...Robin always hated when I sulked over her, anyway.” He did not feel any less terrible about his past with Robin…but it was a start. He shook his head, then looked back to Tora. “Thanks, Tora. I think I needed all that.”
“No worries, mate. Wot’re mates - friendos, that is - for?” Tora gave him a soft smile...which abruptly died a horrible death as she winced and rubbed her left temple. “Gaaah...fuckin’ head’s achin’, prolly from dehydration an’ shit. Mind gettin’ me some water, Durin?”
Durin nodded, standing up from his chair. “Yeah, no problem.” With that, he walked into the kitchen.
Tora sighed and kept pressure to her temple…and then stiffened when she finally remembered something from last night - or, rather, that something backhanded her brain across the ‘face’ and shoved a little tidbit of information down its metaphorical throat.
It was the culmination of...a lot of things, really, that had piled up over the past few...days? Weeks? However long it had been since she got involved in all of this madness.
“...I have a bloody crush on Durin. Ffffuck.” She whispered as low as she could to herself - so that the Witcher would not hear. Heavens knew he’d heard things she’d not wanted him to before because of his enhanced senses.
The sound of heavy footfalls rocked the ground, tremors shaking the house as Tora could easily see birds and monsters fleeing from something massive via the window.
‘Oh thank fuck, a distraction!’
“Abe come for hug!” the familiar voice of Abe boomed.
Tora let out a laugh that was part ‘happy to see the big golem bloke wasn’t dead and I’m gonna hug the big lug for savin’ our asses’ and part ‘I’m going to try to ignore the fact that I have a crush on a guy with a ton of emotional baggage when I, myself, have some fucked up baggage myself’ as she made her way outside with a cry of, “Abe!”
Somehow Abe managed to surprise her from the side, gently (for Abe) hugging the girl.
Fluttershy came up behind the Troll, placing a hoof on his side gently. “Careful Mr. Abe, we don’t want to reopen your wounds, okay?”
“Okay,” Abe said after a moment, slowly and carefully setting Tora back down.
“Nice t’ see y’ too, Abe! Glad yer up an’ stomping around already!” Tora said with a little chuckle as he set her down, giving his left leg a few friendly pats in return.
Durin came out of the house soon after, sword in hand, only to blink as he saw Abe. “Well, this is a surprise,” He began, dismissing his blade and walking up to Abe. “How you doing, big guy?”
“Abe not bleeding on ground.” The Troll said simply. A vast improvement in the giant’s eyes.
Tora blinked, then glanced over at Durin, “Well, he ain’t wrong.”
Fluttershy nodded. “Mr. Abe here is doing much better than before, so I decided to let him come and see you two.” She smiled nervously at Tora. “I um...might have had some of my animal friends follow you so I knew where you two went.”
Durin frowned immediately, crossing his arms. “I’m guessing that wasn’t entirely your decision, was it?”
“Did th’ other sheilas peer pressure ya int’ doin’ it?” Tora asked flatly, already knowing what the answer was (probably) going to be.
Fluttershy winced. “Miss Tempest asked me, actually.”
“Ooof course y’ fuckin’ ponies are paranoid an’ distrustful even after someone saves yer arses,” Tora muttered, shaking her head with some measure of disappointment.
“What arses?” Abe suddenly asked, the giant having been so silent they forgot he was here.
“Your butt, Abe,” Tora said rather patiently, tail flicking to the side. “What ya sit on. It can also mean ‘meanie heads’.”
“Okay,” Abe replied simply, not needing any further description. “Black dragon are arse.” He innocently said.
“Eh, true, they’re known for burning and killing people cuz it’s funny to them,” Tora replied with a shrug.
“Abe need find Black Dragons now.” The giant said, turning to march off. Looks like Tora accidentally set him on a manhunt. Dragon hunt? Dragon hunt.
“ABE NO, DON’T!” Tora called out to him. The being of earthly materials looked back at her, tilting his head in confusion. He didn’t stop walking though.
Fluttershy crossed her forelegs over her barrel. “Mr. Abe, if you don’t stop, you won’t get any more Fire Rubies.” She said sternly.
“Then Abe would no heal… okay.” Abe said. He'll heal first, then hunt. Good plan.
Tora let out an exhausted (and still mildly hungover) sigh as she approached the big, dumb lug, “Look, Abe, when I said that black dergs did that kind o’ shite, I didn’t mean all of ‘em did that. It was, uh...hmm...how th’ bloody fuck t’ explain this t’ a bloke built like a brick shithouse with th’ mind of an anklebiter…”
“Not every creature of the world is bad, even if one group is made out to be bad,” Durin helpfully supplied. He then handed Tora her water, having stored it in his Inventory. “Also, here, Tora.”
The tigress snatched the water from him with all the reflexes of a cat with a splitting headache and alcohol-induced sluggishness, then all but chugged the tasteless liquid down her gullet. She sighed and handed the container back to Durin with a ‘thanks, mate.’
"But you say earlier that they all bad. Make mind up." Abe said, a confused look appearing on his rocky face.
“Look, just…” Durin pinched the bridge of his nose. “Just...don’t go hunting for black dragons, alright?”
"Okay," The Hill Troll nodded, his stoney head groaning as he did.
Durin sighed, removing his hand from his nose. “Alright, so what are you two really doing here?” He looked to Fluttershy.
“We…” Fluttershy paused, seemingly trying to come up with the words. “...We want to learn more about you. Mostly why you’ve been evading us.”
“Wait, they didn’t fuckin’ tell ya wot Durin said in th’ meetin’? Th’ fuck?” Tora asked, looking at the yellow Pegasus in disbelief.
“I was there, I heard it all, but…” She frowned. “We’re just wondering why you didn’t just talk to us-”
Durin growled. “Why didn’t I talk to you? Why didn’t I TALK TO YOU?!” Durin’s growl turned into a snarl. “YOU FUCKING PONIES WOULD’VE LOCKED ME IN JAIL FOR LIKELY WEEKS OR MONTHS OR EVEN YEARS BEFORE I COULD TALK TO YOU!” He grit his teeth. For a moment, one would almost think his canines had become full fangs. He brought his voice to a seething low tone, dripping with venom. “Why would I let that happen? Why would I wait for your fucking bureacracy to blow over just so I could talk and get my story out, when I could be alone and unbothered?”
Fluttershy looked like she’d just been slapped. “I…”
“...Durin’s got a point. Yer kind scare real easy, an’ y’ would have locked ‘im up cuz he’s ‘new an’ scary-like’. Ponyville an’ other places ain’t as nice an’ acceptin’ of newcomers an’ ‘unknowns’ like m’self as y’ make yerselves out t’ be,” Tora added on with a grimace as her head acted up. “An’ yer own guards did it t’ Abe, even when th’ bloke saved yer rear ends.”
Fluttershy’s gaze dropped to the ground for a time. But, suddenly, she raised her gaze back up to meet Durin’s and Tora’s, a fire in her eyes. “I understand that you’re angry. Really, I do. But… I can promise you you wouldn’t have been in jail for very long at all, and you’d have been treated wel-”
“Spare me the bullshit,” Durin spat, turning to walk back into his house. “And get off my lawn. You’re ruining the aesthetic.”
Fluttershy, instead, flew over and in front of him. “I wasn’t done, buster.”
Durin leaned down to stare her straight in the eyes. “I. Was.”
Then, Fluttershy used her Stare, and Durin’s eyes - and senses - went up in alarm, the man staggering back.
And, just as soon as she used it, the gleam of power and command in her eyes was gone, leaving Durin only shocked and stunned.
“Please,” she said, softening her gaze. “Just let me finish.”
“...Just let ‘er talk, Durin. Then she can fuck off an’ leave ya alone,” Tora spoke up, her pupils almost paper-thin slits and her hackles raised as far as they can go. “Cuz after that, I’m not keen on lettin’ her stay here any longer than we have to.”
“...” Durin sighed deeply, resuming his earlier posture. “Get on with it.”
Fluttershy took a breath, and let it out. “We want to make amends. Tempest sent me here because of that. Yes, we have a lot of questions, and yes, most of us don’t trust or, in some cases, even like you, but we know we did wrong, and, above all, we need you.” The mare placed a hoof over her heart. “For what it’s worth… I want to help you and make things right as best I can.”
Tora stared at Fluttershy...then snorted, “Some o’ wot y’ wanna make up fer is a lost cause. Not likin’ Durin cuz he was worried fer his own safety and freedom? Not trustin’ a bloke who never tried t’ harm any o’ ya when y’ woulda done jus’ that t’ him? Y’ talk about ‘trust’, but y’ never even gave him th’ benefit of th’ doubt. This entire time, you an’ yours have been keeping him at arm’s length an’ never let him close until you felt it was ‘safe’ to do so.”
“Same shit happened with th’ zebra mare I’ve heard about, an’ the same shit happened with me - you ponies don’t trust wot y’ don’t know, an’ ya shun it until it’s clear that it ain’t a threat; by that point, it’s often too late to make up for excludin’ them. Y’ think it’s okay t’ push someone away ‘cause you’re afraid, then come up t’ them an’ be all friendly like when y’ did nothing t’ DESERVE the treatment y’ want?” Tora asked, tail lashing like a whip behind her as exasperation and some kind of repressed sentiments boiled to the surface. “Where was this ‘trust’ and ‘friendship’ an’ shit when Durin needed it, when he was fightin’ for his life t’ protect himself AND you an’ yours? Where was yer fuckin’ kindness when he was alone and scared? WHERE WERE YOU AND YOUR FUCKING FRIENDS WHEN HE NEEDED SOMEONE - ANYONE - TH’ MOST?!”
Fluttershy didn’t reply, mouth agape. She looked to Tora, seeing the clear anger, then Durin, seeing only a stern wall of unforgiveness.
Durin pushed past her, opening the door to his house. “If you want me to forgive you, forget it.” He didn’t move from the doorframe, but his back remained firmly facing her. “At this point, all you’re getting is what you’ll need to face those monsters. Nothing else. You won’t get my forgiveness, you won’t get my kindness. Not you, not your friends, not those highers up or officials. None of them. Far as I’m concerned, the only ones worthy of that are those who suffered from the Blood Moon. Who suffered because I couldn’t get there in time.” He turned his head glacially to glare at her, his own cat-like eyes slits of pure golden anger. “Now get. Off. My. Lawn.”
Fluttershy didn’t move for a long moment, and Tora could see a tear stream down her eye...but eventually, she hung her head, spread her wings, and flew away, choking back sobs. Considering that Fluttershy had been nice to, and fed, Abe, he started to go after her.
“...Fuckin’ ponies. They treat ya like an outsider, then are surprised when ya give ‘em th’ cold shoulder,” Tora spat on the ground, splayed-back ears slowly moving back to their usual positions. “If they wanted yer fuckin’ help, Durin, they shoulda bit th’ bolt an’ extended th’ olive branch way earlier.”
Durin didn’t reply as he stomped inside his home. When Tora went to investigate, she found him back in the dining room, sitting at the table and glaring at said table.
“...Wanna just...shoot shit?” Tora offered the fuming man after a few moments of watching him in silence.
“...I need some time,” he said finally. He didn’t turn to look at her.
“Fair ‘nuff. Lemme know if y’ wanna do anythin’. I’m gonna be nappin’ off th’ last of m’ hangover,” Tora replied with a shrug and walked off to the living room to lay down on the couch and sincerely regret last night.
Then, she suddenly froze in place and started coughing, then hacking violently as if something was lodged in her throat.
Durin came thundering into the room, eyes wide with worry. “Tora! You okay?!”
The tigress gave him a look questioning his intelligence amidst the sounds of her choking, a paw pointing frantically at her throat while the other mimed the classic ‘getting shit out of your throat’ maneuver.
Durin immediately grabbed her and started to perform said maneuver.
She let out one hack, then two, and finally a third before something flew out of her mouth and landed on the floor.
It was pink, green, some kind of blue...long...somehow waving without a breeze even while covered in...stuff…
“...Is...that part of fuckin’ Suncunt’s mane?” Tora asked blankly after taking a few moments to catch her breath.
Durin blinked, recognition slowing coming to his eyes, then looked down at her. “...I...think we may have upset one of the most powerful beings on the planet last night when we went drinking.”
Tora opened her mouth to speak...then started smacking her lips, “...Her conditioner tastes like fuckin’ pineapple. Why?”
“...I’m going to have to up security for the next few days...or weeks,” Durin shuddered. “I do not like the idea of the Hammer of Dawn hitting me or my house.”
“...Yyyeah, same, maaaa- wait, why do I smell...fuckin’...shaving cream on yer hands?” Tora asked, glancing down at his hands...and then her eyes widened like saucers when she saw midnight blue fur clippings clinging to his sleeves.
Durin paled as he saw this as well. “...I really hope we covered our tracks well enough.” He looked to her slowly. “Because if not...my house is gonna be raided in the next few days.” He paused a beat. “...I might need to kill that pegasus’ animals for good measure too.”
“...Worth it?”
“...” Durin frowned, then sighed and smiled. “Ya know what? It was.” ‘Even if it does mean my reputation just dropped considerably more with the ponies.’