My Little Pony: Love is Confusing

by TheTwientist

Chapter 1: The Visit

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It was a normal day in Ponyville. Well, as normal as could be expected, given that Pinkie Pie lived there. But at that moment, the sun was up in the daytime, the fourth wall was safely intact, and most reassuringly of all, Twilight was obsessing over a scheduling issue.

"Where are they where are they where are they-" she muttered as she paced back and forth across the room. "They're already nine minutes late! One more minute and they won't even be in the 'fashionably late' category! They'll just be plain late!"

Spike hurriedly snatched the teapot out of the way out of the way moments before Twilight barrelled through.

"Come on, Twilight!" he groaned. "Everypony's late occasionally! Even you!"

Twilight glared at Spike before being distracted by a knock on the door.

"They'reherethey'reherethey'rehere!" she shouted, galloping quickly to the doorway. A bit too quick, really, because she proceded to slam into the door head-on and tear it off its hinges.

Cadance gasped as her sister-in-law burst through the door and landed face first on the ground with a loud and painful-sounding "clunk".

"You okay, Twiley?" asked Shining Armor as he lifted Twilight to her feet.

"I'm fine," she grunted, shaking away the cuckoo birds circling her head. She hugged her brother and Cadance.

"Sorry we're late," said Cadance. "I hope it's not a problem."

Twilight opened her mouth, then shut it. "No . . . it's not a problem at all," she said through gritted teeth.

Spike tactfully said nothing.

"How are your friends?" asked Cadance as she walked in through the open doorway.

"Oh they're great!" replied Twilight as she levitated the door back into place. "Rarity asks if you liked the dresses she sent for payment."

Cadance grinned. "Oh, they're lovely! Tell her I'd pay her to make me a few more."

"Oh, and I was talking to the Wonderbolts the other day- I told them that your friend Rainbow Dash's amazing sonic rainboom."

Well, Rarity and Rainbow Dash are gonna be thrilled, Twilight thought to herself.

"And what about you guys? I haven't heard from you since your last letter. I hope your honeymoon improved after the beehive incident?"

Shinging Armor reflexively rubbed his front leg, where there were still a few red raised bumps visible.

"Oh yes!" said Cadance. "We had a great time. We went all over Equestria, from Manehattan to Las Pegasus. In fact," she added, rummaging through her saddlebag, "I brought all our pictures! Maybe we should watch them after lunch! Does that slide projector of yours still work?"

Spike and Twilight hastily exchanged glances. "I don't think so," said Twilight. "It, um, broke its wheel. A while back. I haven't gotten it fixed yet. Sorry." She gave her most convincing grin.

Cadance stared suspiciously at Twilight for a moment, then sighed, "Oh well."

"We even stayed a bit longer than we'd planned, really," said Shining Armor.

Twilight was puzzled. "Wasn't Princess Celestia expecting you back?"

"Well, yes, but she knew we had a bit catching up to do, after the, ah, wedding incident. She gave us a few more days."

Twilight furrowed her brow. "But you have responsibilities! I mean, honeymoons are important, but Cadance is a princess and you're the captain of the Royal Guard! You can't let love get in the way of your duties! Couldn't you have, like, put love on hold?"

Shining Armor and Cadance glanced at each other and sniggered.

"What's so funny?!" demanded Twilight.

"I'm sorry, Twiley," said Shining Armor, grinning. "I keep forgetting that you've always been, well . . .

"Well what?"

"You haven't got a coltfriend, have you?"

"No," said Twilight, confused.

"A marefriend?" asked Cadance.

"Certainly not!" exclaimed Twilight, making Shining Armor laugh again.

"There's nothing wrong with it," said Cadance. "But the thing is, you've never been in a relationship at all."

"No offense, Twiley," said Shining Armor, "but you don't understand love."

"Sure I do! I know the power of love! I was there when you used it to blow a thousand changelings out of Equestria!"

"But you've never experienced it first-hand," said Cadance patiently.

"You didn't even have a crush in magic kindergarden!" added Shining Armor.

Cadance continued, "You've never felt the joy and wonder that comes from a very close connection between two ponies."

Twilight rolled her eyes.

"Even Spike here's got a crush." chuckled Shining Armor.

Spike, shocked, glared at him and yelled, "Hey! Who told you that?"

Cadance sighed. "Love is not to be trifled with. It's a very powerful force. And there's not really anything that can get in its way. Celestia understood that."

"Yeah, and that means you got a few extra days' honeymoon. Big whoop," grumbled Twilight. "But you can't deal with love all the time; that's impossible! Love is too irrational! Love can ruin ponies! It can destroy friendships! It can make you sacrifice everything!"

"And you know all this how?" asked Cadance.

"I've . . . read books," Twilight muttered. She scowled at her brother and sister-in-law, trying to think up a good response.

And then Spike barfed up a letter on Twilight.

A bit relieved by the distraction, Twilight levitated it and started reading. "'Dear Princess Mi Amore-' Oh! It's for you guys!"

Shining Armor took a look. "From Celestia, I guess, I told her we'd be here for lunch- uh oh, we're needed back at the castle, for uh-" he frowned at the page, but then grinned. "Hey, honey, take a look at this." He showed Cadance the letter, and she started giggling.

"What is it?!" asked Twilight, already annoyed and getting more so.

Shining Armor stopped laughing, or at least tried to. "Um, royal planning duties. Sorry Twiley, I guess we'll have to cut lunch short. We'll see you again soon, I promise."

They got up and headed for the door, still hiding their giggles. "Don't forget what I said about love, Twilight," said Cadance, "it might prove important."

"Yeah, yeah," Twilight groaned. "I'll see you guys later!"


The door slammed shut. Twilight stared at it for a while, lost in thought. Something's going on here. I'm right, I know it. I just . . .

She leaped up. "SPIKE!"

"Oh no," said Spike. "Yes, Twilight?" he moaned.

"Get out every book on emotion and psychology. I have some research to do."

Spike's reptilian brain churned as he started fetching books. "Research about what?"


Author's Note:

WARNING: You will encounter many typos. I'm sorry, but it's just a fact of life. In some distant, perfect future, I will find and correct them all, but it will be a while.
Also, fear not, it should get more interesting as it goes on. This isn't my first fanfic ever, but it's my first MLP fic. I certainly wouldn't mind some constructive criticism.

Next Chapter: What is Love? Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 27 Minutes
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