This chapter is a soft edit with some grammar and spelling corrections. A final edit is pending review and will be uploaded when finalized. I apologize in advance for any errors that were not corrected.

The toast was a pleasant end to something that just earlier could have been best described as an interdimensional relations disaster. It was also something Pinkie was probably going to be pissed off about, come to think of it. (They made a toast, that makes it a party, she has every right to be mad.)

However, Lumberman was still a bit messed up, Applejack was stumbling drunk, and apparently just under three shots of liqueur is enough to get a pegasus, a unicorn, and an alicorn tipsy. Their rosy cheeks wouldn't fade, either. Kinda cute. Also, it seems that when equestrians blush, they either blush so brightly that it can be seen through their fur or their fur itself blushes. Something they'll have to look into later.

"Is there anything we could get you for tonight?" Twilight asked Becky and Cerb, two of the last in the group to wait to head back into the house. "Food, water, blankets, some books to read perhaps?"

Becky smiled and graciously. "Nothing I can think of."

"Ugh..." Cerb looked back behind him. Chris and Kelly pulling the last few lawn chairs into the garage.

Lumberman and Benny were sorting through boxes and resorting the scattered items back to where they should be on the shelves.

"Thank you, Princess. But I think we should be good for the night. We got a lot of work to do here, anyway."

Twilight took another glance at the house. She had been too focused on the occupants to actually appreciate the structure. It wasn't so different from a pony house. Much larger perhaps, but by design, not very far off than any other she'd seen. It did seem to be more structurally complex somehow, though. Although this example was also damaged. Almost every window was either cracked or broken out. Pieces of the siding were popping out, and each corner seemed to have pushed or bashed out of alignment. The right cornered section of the house when facing it was actually wilting. Possibly the foundation had been ripped out during the teleportation, or maybe even broken up when from when they arrived.

Twilight had a hopeful smile again, despite the pending hardships she new were inbound. "I'm sure you all have everything under control. But if anything does come up and you either need something or another place to stay, just come and see me. I live in the only castle in town. It's hard to miss," she finished with a soft giggle.

"We appreciate it," Cerb replied. "Is there anything we need to be aware of in the meantime? Wild animals. Hostile ponies or dragons. Bad weather?"

Starlight chuckled. "No. The wild animals of the Everfree don't tend to come very close to the tree line. And Ponyville doesn't seem to get much in terms of hostile ponies, or even dragons in general. Plus, Rainbow Dash and the other Pegasi take care of the weather. Everything should be fine for now."

Twilight added more comforting words of safety. "If you like, I can have one of us stay behind with you, or maybe send for some guards to watch over you?"

Cerb politely raised his hands to decline their offer. "No, no. Thank you, though." He calmly lowered his hands. "We can take care of ourselves. Just didn't know if there was anything we had to look out for. And I wouldn't want to put any of you out, having to babysit seven adults."

He looked to Rainbow Dash. "But if you gotta chance, you gotta tell me about how you control the weather. That is just crazy to me."

Rainbow Dash visibly perked up at the newfound interest towards her job. "Really?" She said with overly excited, causing her to pull back and try to play it cool. "Well, ya know. It's all pretty boring, really. But, yeah. I can do that."

"Hey, what about me?" Becky whined playfully.

"Well, of course, you can," Rainbow Dash said, all too happy to bring along more fans. "And hey! I do some Wonder Bolt training when I'm not working. You can come watch me train if you like." Her voice getting all the more excited.

Becky rubbed up and down the center of her chest. "Well, if it's not too much of a walk for me, I'd love to."

Rainbow Dash flapped her way up to Becky's side. "No worries. You got Rainbow Dash in your corner, now." She placed her forehoof around Becky's shoulder. "We'll get something worked out for ya, no problem."

Becky smiled. Not just smiled, actually. It was deep, and she seemed extraordinarily happy. She even blushed. Or was it something else? Her face was red. Very red.

Rainbow Dash leaned off to the side a bit, getting a better look at Becky. "Hey, Becky? You okay there, girl?"

Becky lurched out of Rainbow's hold, doubling over and proceeded to vomit violently.

The three remaining ponies were caught entirely off guard (Jesus Christ, can these ponies get a break with the onslaught of surprises they've been getting today?) Rainbow Dash instinctively floated back a few feet, biting her hooves nervously. Starlight apparently was more squeamish than most would think. She covered her mouth as she had to stop herself from puking. Twilight was the only one with enough common sense to actually proactively react. Her horn glowed as she used her magic to help brace and steady Becky. Applejack was stumbling off near the garage, too drunk to notice what was going on.

"Oh my gosh. Becky, are you okay?" Twilight asked with a tone of panic.

Twilight felt Becky's body push back and weigh in heavily against the magic supporting her. Becky said nothing; instead, she started vomiting again and clutching her stomach. Twilight strained herself holding this human up. How could a human be this heavy? Suddenly, all the weight and resistance was gone.

"Easy does it there, party girl," came a calm and comforting voice from Cerb. "You're embarrassing me in front of the Princess. Knock it off would ya. Ya big goofball."

Twilight and the other mares looked at this monstrous man, large and intimidating, who was so frightening when he was angry earlier. Now instead he was looking and acting like some fatherly pony they would know. These creatures were just dishing out one surprise after another. It was like every five minutes they were making some new big reveal to blow their minds.

Another splash on the defiled grass and some heavy coughing, Becky seemed to have emptied her stomach. "My bad," She said with a raspy voice before spitting. "I'm sorry, Princess, everyone."

Twilight felt embarrassed for the poor girl. "Oh," an awkward pause from the Princess. "It's perfectly fine." She mentally fumbled for what to say next. "But you're okay?"

Becky remained hunched over. Her breathing labored, but steady. "Yeah. I feel fine. Really good actually. Just all of a sudden... I dunno."

"Probably just a little too much excitement," Rainbow suggested. She also seemed to be swaying a bit as she hovered in the air. The alcohol probably hitting her, one could guess.

Becky's hand drunkenly waived and grasped behind her, reaching for Cerb. "I'm done now. Take me inside, please."

Starlight stepped forward with a smile, her horn glowing. "Oh, we can help you with that."

Before she could place her magic on Becky to lift her up and carry her back to the house, Cerb swooped her up in his arms. He held her gently yet firmly. Again, his actions seemed so fatherly to onlooking ponies. It warmed their hearts to see the two this way.

"I got her from here, ladies," Cerb said, slowly turning Becky's view to the mares.

Becky waived farewell to three of the last visitors. "It was nice meeting you all," She said half drunk and half asleep.

The three mares bid their farewells and went back to town, wrangling up Applejack on the way out and leaving the humans to tend to their own needs. Cerb promptly carried Becky back to the house and in through the garage. The lack of a door made entry easy. Once in the house, he made himself known.

"Clear the couch," he demanded as he carried Becky in. "Becky blew chunks in front of our emissaries of hope and is down for the count a bit early tonight."

"No," Becky mumbled. "I'm just-" she groaned and took a deep breath. "I just drank too much too fast. I'm not even really all that drunk."

"You and me both, sis," Lumberman spoke up while pulling a blanket and a nearly full garbage bag off from the table. The group had been busy trying to put Benny's house back in order.

Benny looked over from the kitchen area as he was putting canned goods back in the cabinets. "How much did you drink, Becks?"

Becky rolled onto her side on the couch. "I dunno," she said, sobering up. "Half a bottle of Grey and a few shots."

It was only Lumberman, Cerb, Benny, and Chris in the room with Becky, and they all stopped what they were doing at this information. Lord only knew how, but Becky was all but a professional drinker. Half a bottle of her vodka and a few shots wasn't enough to have her puking since she was seventeen. Come to think of it, even Lumberman could put'em down. Even chugging shouldn't have got him as drunk as they thought he must have gotten. Even more, they both sobered up unrealistically fast.

"Hey, Chris," Benny suddenly had some questions only the local Pony expert could answer. "Is there anything in the world that can make us feel drunk or sick?"

He looked to him, clearly being serious. "Something magical or fucking... I dunno, man. Something."

"Ugh..." Chris looked around the room. "Nothing that I can think of."

"Okay," Benny didn't like that answer. "Something ain't right. Becky puked on less than a bottle. Lumberman passed out on less than a bottle..."

Cerb was tracking this train of thought. "And you were a stumbling drunk before you even had a drink on the hill."

"Hold on." Chris chimed in. "Ben got drunk when you both went out and found the Ponies?"

"No," Benny answered. "I mean. I kinda felt drunk. Or high. But I didn't have anything."

"Kelly! Sniff!" Cerb yelled out to the others upstairs. "Team meeting. Get down here."

The sound of footsteps and creaking floors gave way to the last two of the group joining up with the others. Kelly was the first to join up. "What's going on? Any new news?" Kelly asked as Sniff came in just behind her.

Cerb had that look of a man at war. "No," he bluntly answered a bit cold. "But we need to figure everything out about what kind of situation we're all in. What supplies we have and need, and just what's going on with these sudden drunken conditions that are popping up."

Sniff eyed an empty rum bottle and a few empty beer cans on the kitchen counter that were brought in from the toast earlier. "I haven't drank too much yet. Who's already drunk besides Lumberman?"

"It's a bit more than that, actually," said Benny.

"Come on, man," Lumberman spoke up. "You don't think it's a bit odd that I apparently passed out on less than a bottle of Tequila? Or that Becky just threw up with less than a full bottle to herself?"

Sniff raised an eyebrow. Clearly, he got the idea getting passed around.

"It's not just that," Cerb added. "On the hill when we first ran into the Ponies, Ben was acting like he was drunk and damn near passed out in a giggle fit."

"Is that why they helped you walk back?" Kelly asked.

"Yeah," Benny said. "It was so weird. I was fine. And then Pinkie showed up yelling and shit, and everything was just... funny."

He looked around the room to gauge everyone's reaction. "You know. Kinda like how ya get after smoking pot or popping too much Vicodin." He then looked over to Lumberman. "Is that what happened to you?"

Lumberman looked down to his feet and folded his arms. "Not really." He thought back to the event. "I got a bit light-headed, kinda weak in the knees-"

"Yeah," Benny jumped in. "I had that."

Lumberman continued, again. "Okay, but I didn't get the giggles anything like that."

He thought about if he really wanted to answer honestly or not. "I, uh..." maybe he would hold back a little. "I kinda got pissed off."

He put up his hands to motion everyone to remain calm. "I don't mean like angry drunk, pissed off. I mean, like... everything we talked about, with my dad dying and shit... Losing Tim, Eric, and Amber. All the shit you all went through." The weight of his mistake falling on his shoulders again, though not as bad as it had while in the woods.

"Sorry about bringing that shit up, by the way. But, like I was saying. All of that just-" Lumberman brought up his hands like he was searching for the words and flexed his hands in frustration. "I dunno. Like I had to tell the Apple Cowboy horse bitch all about it. Everything that I was thinking."

"You told Applejack about Tim, Eric, and Amber? Why?" Becky asked.

Lumberman turned to address her directly. "No. I mean. Not really. I said that they never came home from the war... and how I felt about it." With those words, it felt like he may have said a bit too much.

"I mean. Shit. Maybe it's because I hit my head or something, but I felt like I had to say the shit. I couldn't stop myself."

Cerb offered an explanation. "Like the thoughts were in your mind, and you had to say them."

"Yeah," Lumberman answered with some relief.

Cerb looked to Benny. "Same for you with those bad jokes you made to the Ponies, Ben?"

"Yeah," Benny sounded a bit embarrassed, or sad. "Pretty much. I didn't really feel like I had much control over myself back there."

Cerb than looked to Becky on the couch. "Anything like that happen to you, Becks?"

Becky sat upright, clearing her throat. The taste of vomit not entirely removed. "Not really. It was more of I didn't want to have you go with Rainbow Dash alone. Then I felt really hot and nauseous. Kind of like how I get if I get over-excited. But I don't know why. We were talking about seeing Rainbow Dash work and train. But I was thinking about what it would be like out there with you and her."

Lumberman referred to Chris again. "Chris, you know the most about this place. You sure there isn't anything that's ringing a bell?"

Chris couldn't seem to put two and two together. "No," his words were disappointing. "I got nothing. Maybe we're missing something. Did anything else happen?"

He surveyed the room. "Did anyone else experience anything?"

Sniff and Kelly had nothing, but Cerb was questioning himself, and Benny was about to give him the opening he needed.

"Cerb," Benny said softly. "You were there with both me and Becky. Did you see or feel anything?"

Cerb held his tongue for a moment. "Yeah... but it wasn't anything bad like you all felt."

The room was waiting for his story, especially Chris.

"Well?" Chris spoke up. "Help me out here, man. What'd you see?"

Jesus Christ, this was embarrassing for Cerb to admit. "Now listen. I don't know how or why this happened..."

Chris tried to pry the information out of him. "Does this have anything to do with your episode outside yelling at Rainbow Dash and Applejack?"

Benny had a brief flashback of his time on the Hill with Cerb. "It happened on the hill, right?"

Benny's words caught everyone's attention. They looked to him, then to Cerb, who stayed silent.

"Yeah..." Cerb finally said, sounding like he was ashamed. "I don't even remember thinking about it. I just..." He didn't know how to admit what his first reaction to Fluttershy and Rarity was like, not without sounding like a creep.

Sniff was growing impatient. "Tu-tutu-today, junior."

Cerb sighed, giving up on his pride. "When I first met the white Unicorn, Rarity. I was just talking normally, and then out of nowhere I said that she was gorgeous." He pointed to Sniff and Chris. "Shutup. Shutup. I don't wanna hear it."

Everyone held their tongues... for all of two seconds before snickering and bursting into laughter.

"You're fucking kidding me," Chris commented. "And you all were giving me shit over the ponies?"

"Hey!" Cerb protested. "I don't know why I said it. It's like they weren't even my words. I mean, do y'all think I'd actually go off and say something like that?"

Everyone was still laughing, but it was mostly at Chris's jab. Cerb just leaned back against the countertop, waiting for everyone to stop.

Benny put his hand up and patted Cerb on the back. "Heh, heh. It's okay, bro. I believe ya. It's just fucking funny."

"Yep," Cerb scoffed. "Laugh it up, Troll."

Benny chuckled again at the joke, but then remembered his original flashback. "So what about Fluttershy, then?"

"What about Fluttershy?" Kelly asked.

Cerb stood silent again. "So, shit got fucking awkward for a moment after I said that to Rarity because apparently, she welcomed the comment."

He held up his hand to stop everyone from laughing or making some stupid comment. "Shut up, I know. I know. But then Fluttershy, the Pegasus, was about to leave, thinking I was being rude to her or something..." Cerb hesitated, trying to find the right words.

Benny decided to help him along. "And then she was in your arms-"

"Yes!" Cerb raised his voice. "Yes. I apologized. Told her to stay, and gave her a hug."

The laughter of ridicule returned. Becky was trying not to laugh so hard to put herself in another coughing fit.

"Oh my god!" Kelly fit in between her bouts of laughter. "Chris and Sniff don't stand a chance." The room waited for what was guaranteed to be a great joke. "Justin is gonna steal all the waifus!"

And that did it. Cerb would forever be branded as the Stealer of Waifus. Also, so much for a serious conversation.

The laughter eventually died down. Cerb just let it run its course. No use trying to fight it and make it worse.

"Okay. So it is what it is. But Chris," Cerb retook control of the conversation. "I need you to think hard about this. I know it's funny. I pretty much made a pass at two talking horses."

Cerb could see Chris about to either make some smart ass remark or just laugh in his face, so he spoke quickly enough to stop him before he could start. "But whatever it is that happened to me, made Lumberman lose consciousness, Becky sick, and Benny lose all self-control and almost pass out, too."

Chris and the others put aside the jokes for the moment to address these legitimate concerns. Chris himself nodded in agreement. "Alright. You're right. It does kind of sound like something that could happen in the show. Maybe Discord is fucking with you guys."

"What the fuck is a Discord?" Cerb asked.

"It's more of a who. Not a what." Chris answered, bringing it to Lumberman's attention. "Discord was one of the villains from the second season of the show. He's a Draconequus. He has the power to warp reality and shit. Make ponies act differently-"

Lumberman interjected. "Hold on. He's a dragon? There are bad dragons that attack this place?"

"He's not a dragon," Chris answered. "He's a Draconequus. It' like a bunch of different creatures pieced together. Part dragon, goat, horse, lion, snake, and I don't even know what all else. And he's not a villain. Not anymore at least."

Cerb was doing his best to follow along. "Okay. So then why and how would he start fucking with us."

Chris didn't have much of a specific answer off the top of his head. "Well... He's been kinda reformed. Like, he's not trying to take over the world anymore, but he's still kind of a dick."

Everyone who wasn't familiar with the show was a bit lost. Cerb, Lumberman, and Sniff being the most lost.

"So," Sniff spoke up. "Is he evil or just a dick or reformed?"

Lumberman wanted more clarity. "Yeah, dude. I had a lot of shit running through my head that I felt forced to talk about. I don't want that shit in my head again."

Cerb asked a more poignant question. "Chris, do you think that's what happened? Is this something we need to worry about, and is there any way to stop it?"

Chris scratched the back of his head, thinking about it. "I'm not saying he did it, and I'm not even saying he actually can do it."

It sounded like he might be walking back his theory. "I'm just saying that's the only thing I can think of. Because he- I mean-" He was getting a bit flustered, being put on the spot and pushing allegations.

"Well, back when he was still a villain, he changed the personalities of the Mane Six. So Twilight and all the other elements would argue with each other and couldn't use the Elements of..." Chris realized he was talking about the specifics of the show to a group where only Becky seemed to know enough to properly follow.

"Okay," Chris put the explanation on hold. "Before I can really even try to explain this story arch to you all, I need to start from the beginning."

Lumberman didn't want to hear any origin stories. "Just tell us yes, if he-"

"Do you know what the Elements of Harmony are?" Chris asked him, intentionally being rude about it.

Lumberman didn't answer.

"I didn't think so." Chris scoffed. "Look. I can try to explain this one thing, but I'm gonna have to stop every second breath to explain who that character is, why they are the way they are, what they've done before. Or a million other things that you won't understand, and it will be confusing and take forever. Or..." he paused again, waiting for one of them to try and make a protest. "Or just maybe I can grab my laptop, show you some pictures and the parts of the actual episodes so you can see and actually follow along."

Lumberman didn't challenge the idea. "You right. Grab your shit and show us what you got."

The guys weren't all that all excited about getting a lecture on the history of My Little Pony, but they needed it. Even Benny had only seen some of the later episodes, and not even in order. Much of the earlier episodes he didn't even remember from when he was watching his ex's daughter, and she would try to explain them to him. He mostly just blocked it out.

So what followed was Chris sitting everyone down in front of his laptop, which thankfully still had enough battery life to go through his review. He covered all the basics. The Mane Six, the Princesses, the villains leading up to Tirek and Starlight being reformed, and the more important side characters. All in all, covering about six and half seasons of episodes took just about two hours. More impressive was that his laptop was only down to 12% battery. Just in time for dusk to start setting in.

"Okay," Chris finished off. He seemed actually kind of happy to be able to share his private passion with his friends for once. "Everyone got a good understanding of what's going on now?"

Becky frowned in response. "I think they'll be good for remembering who all the ponies are and the whole friendship theme, but I don't think they'll really get how everything works and what to expect from all of them. Not until they actually sit down and watch the show."

She looked down to the low lit computer screen, an alarm on the bottom corner warning of the battery life, giving her concern. "And I don't know how we're gonna pull that off. Without power."

Everyone looked around the room that was now growing darker.

Benny stood up from the couch most of them were sharing. "I got a few candles, some emergency flashlights, and a generator. But I don't really have a lot of gas for it. Maybe a couple of hours worth."

"Plus we got three vehicles to charge shit," Lumberman added. "My truck actually has an outlet built-in. So as long we don't kill the battery, we got those to use."

Benny added more complications. "That's nice. But we also have no working plumbing. So no drinking water, aside from the bottled water I have still. But no showers or toilets. Also, no gas. So the stoves dead and if it gets cold, no furnace to keep us warm."

Lumberman had more bad news. "Yeah. Not only that, this house is a little fucked, yo."

Benny sighed, looking out the window to the sky that was glowing with a lovely mix of orange and lavender. "Tell me about it."

Lumberman really meant what he was saying. "No, man. I mean. Forget about the busted doors and windows. Just from looking outside, this house has some serious foundational issues. Most of the foundation is completely fucked. The exterior walls look like they've been ripped from their joists. I can still see where your weight-bearing walls have cracks in them. Which means the 2x4's broke and aren't supporting as much weight, or they've shifted, which will cause the floors and roof to start weeping. Which means they're liable to start falling apart on us or eventually give in if we don't pull some extra weight off of 'em."

Benny turned away from the group, sighing in frustration. "Jesus fucking Christ. What the fuck..."

Lumberman looked around the room again. "If we were back home, this place would be condemned. Probably half of the upstairs isn't even safe to walk on."

Cerb looked around the room like he knew what he was looking for. "I dunno, man. I've been in houses bombed out worse than this looks. I think we'll manage."

"Nah, man," Lumberman countered. "I'm not saying this is gonna collapse on us or anything. It just needs some work, so it doesn't fall apart on us. We got time."

"Alright," Cerb called to his friends. "Everyone, here's the way I see it."

All eyes were back on him.

"We're stuck, but we're safe for now. I'm not the best example, but we need to stick together more and keep our wits about us. We have little water, no stable power, limited fuel, only a little bit of food, and no diplomatic authority to represent us. We're on our own. So, we're the only real help we can rely on."

Sniff didn't like the way Cerb was talking about their situation. "You make it sound like this is a military operation."

Cerb shrugged. "From the locals perspective, it kind of is. At the very least, it's a diplomatic situation where military force will be called in if we ever are viewed as a threat. They know for a fact now that I have military experience and a temper."

"And whose fault is that?" Kelly asked, rather coy.

"Mine," Cerb owned up to it. "Why do you think I came out for the toast and made nicey-nice."

"Because I told you to," Benny answered.

"Yes," Cerb admitted. "But you were right about it. The Princess and her friends have welcomed us and have offered us assistance. Despite me still being pissed off about what they said, I'm not going to fuck us over and have our mere presence become an issue because they don't understand how shitty our lives have been, or how mentally and emotionally screwed up we are."

"I'm not unstable if that's what you're saying," Becky said, trying to sound cute.

"Gurl," Kelly responded. "You're as stable without me as you are sober when I'm with you."

"Yeah," Becky wasn't even trying to be serious. "Don't we all give up sobriety when we're with each other?"

"Yes," Benny cut through the joke she was running with. "We all have issues. Some worse than others. We don't do well without each other. But while we're here, we don't have the same comforts or social supports to fall back on."

Lumberman scoffed. "Pft. What supports?"

"You know what I mean." Benny scolded. "No cops to call for help. No government to advocate for us. Not even a church to pray for us."

"God's been given us the shaft for years," Sniff spat out.

Chris agreed. "Maybe god finally stopped giving so little fucks about us all that he just cast us out."

"You're all missing the point," Cerb pointed out. "Ben is saying that we don't have anyone to rely on outside of this house. Anything happens to us while we're here, and if we can't take care of it ourselves, we have to hope the Mane Six or some of the other ponies are willing to help us. Otherwise, we're fucked." Cerb reactively felt stupid for actually using the pony's goofy titles, but he might as well start getting used to it.

Chris looked to Cerb and Benny. "So long as we don't royally fuck things up with the ponies, I think we'll be fine. I mean," he looked to the others. "Friendship and kindness is kind of their thing."

"Yeah, yeah." Sniff replied. "Friendship, Unity, Caring, Kindness, and Obligations For Friends. We're now living in a fantasy utopia."

Chris mockingly laughed. "Oh yeah. The F.U.C.K O.F.F. model. I'm surprised you know it."

"Y'all done?" Benny asked sharply, making the two stop. "We need to take inventory. I know most of the stuff that I have here, but we need to know what all we have so we know what we need to get."

Cerb stepped up. "We need to split up, take a full count of what's all in the house here. Food. Water. Alcohol. Tools. Weapons. Tradeable goods. Medicine. Toiletries. Anything we need to survive and comfort items."

From there, they quickly made their way about the house pulling together everything Cerb had outlined for them. The results wouldn't be all that impressive.

The sun was finally down, and they had gathered back by the couch. Three candles lit the room for them. The mood was about as the dark night's sky.

"So," Benny started the review. "This is what we got." He read off the following items.

"Food: One box of emergency rations, Five boxes of pasta. Two bags of rice. And about thirty canned goods, including soups, veggies, spam, and canned tuna and chicken. Plus three half-eaten boxes of cereal. Between the seven of us, we could probably ration that out for about five days."

"Water. Forty twelve ounce bottles. Which is only three and three-quarters of a gallon, divide that among seven people who each need at least a gallon a day... we won't last even a full twenty-four hours."

"Alcohol. I believe the scientific term is a metric fuck-ton. Which knowing us, we could burn through in a weekend if we tried."

"Tools. We have at least one full set of tools to cover a five-man crew, between Lumberman's tools and mine. We have mostly working power tools. Two drills, a circular saw, one working Sawzall plus one that's broke, an air compressor with an air hammer, one chainsaw that needs sharpening, and about six pounds of spikes, nails, and screws. A mallet, and one hatchet, ax, and maul set."

"Weapons. Starting off with the big boys. One Mossberg 590 Shockwave Twelve gauge with twenty-eight rounds of buckshot, ten rounds of slugs, and eight loose rounds of game-load. One Remington Model 700 chambered in 30-06, with eight fat-ass Core-Lokt rounds and ten standard copper-coated big game rounds. Plus, my lovely 1911, with forty-five rounds of forty-five ACP."

"Tradeable goods. ... We'll come back to this because I don't know what the fuck a horse would want to trade. Plus, I don't think they'd be interested in our electronics, due to the whole lack of an electrical grid bull shit."

"Medicine and Toiletries. Some Pepto, Tylenol, an emergency first aid kit, an electric razor, a bottle of shampoo and body wash, and only three rolls of toilet paper. Plus whatever the girls brought, if anything."

Chris raised his hand to get Benny's attention. "The ponies do have electricity, but I don't know how it works for them. Because not all of them have it."

Benny stared awkwardly at this revelation. "Alright. That's good news. But I still wouldn't know what they would want. So, still kind of a moot point."

From the darkness that enveloped the front side of the house, a knocking came at the front door. Despite being in a small town pony utopia, the idea of an unannounced guest made everyone a little tense.

Benny grabbed ahold of the bottom of his shirt and lifted it up, revealing his 1911. Everyone saw it, though no one questioned it. Even Chris, despite his optimism and knowledge of pony culture, still felt a bit unsafe. However, the knocking came again, this time followed by a sweet child-like voice.

"Hello!" The cute young female voice was raised from outside the door. "We heard this is the house of some new visitors to Ponyville, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders wanted to give y'all a proper welcome to Ponyville."

Lumberman looked to Chris who seemed to have a gitty smile. Becky had it too, but Lumberman couldn't see her's.

"Dude? They have Holy Knights, here?" Lumberman asked, still finding ways to be surprised.

Chris was already up and walking to the door with a candle. "Nah, their just sisters of some of the Mane Six that started a club."

Benny and Cerb followed behind.

Chris opened the front door, and sure enough, there stood Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo. And also Big Macintosh, who is apparently a fuck load bigger in real life. He must have gone as a chaperone.

The eyes on the three girls lit up like Christmas Trees.

"Wow," Scootaloo exclaimed. "You really are like a two-legged Macintosh." She said, looking at Cerb.

"Don't mind Scootaloo," Apple Bloom chirped. "She's easily impressed- Wow, the girls really are pretty!" Apple Bloom apparently also being easily distracted.

The three guys turned to see Becky walking up behind them.

Sweety Belle walked up closer. "We brought you some essentials to help you get through the night since it sounds like you all didn't really come prepared for your trip.

"Now there's an understatement," Becky said with a sly tone.

Sweetie Belle craned her neck around to bite down on two cloth sacks that had been tied together and strung over her back. "Deth ith prum me and muai thister-"

Cerb bent down and grabbed the gift from her mouth.

"Plah..." Sweetie Belle spit out a piece of string that had come off from the sack. "-my sister Rarity."

Cerb opened each side just enough see inside each parchment. One held a collection of scented candles. The robust scent of rich and creamy vanilla, cinnamon, and shea butter cream wafted out like oiled tits from a Nudy Bar.

Each smell stood out clearly on its own, yet melded together to deliver such a heavenly fragrance. The other side held another bounty of alluring scents, something sweet, like creams and chocolates, but all he could see was a collection of a mix match of small boxes tied up with colorful ribbons.

"Sorry about the candles all smelling girly," Sweetie Belle apologized, her ears folding down slightly.

"Rarity only ever buys the smelly ones, but never the same smelly ones." Her eyes perked up again with excitement. "But I also have some other ones like orange creamsicle, mint cloverleaf, and fresh oats, if any of those sound like something you'd like. Oh, and the bonbons were my idea. Sister always eats those when she's having a bad day."

Cerb was at a crossroad in his mind. He shouldn't really take such gifts from what appeared to be a pony version of a kid, but also his training reminded him of being courteous to the locals when you enter their lands. Plus, never look a gift horse in the mouth. (Don't make that joke, Cerb. Just don't.)

"Well, thank you very much, little..." Cerb paused, not sure how to refer to the little filly.

The little filly smiled widely. "Oh, sorry. My name is Sweetie Belle, that's Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom, and her big brother Macintosh."

The two other fillies looked up with bright eyes and smiles while Big Mac just nodded with a less than pleased look on his face.

Big Mac was the first pony they'd seen that actually looked intimidating. Though that could have something to do with the shadow play cast down on him the dark skies and flickering candlelight.

"Oh! Me next!" Scootaloo all but yelled as she jumped up, wings flapping at hummingbird speeds.

Instead of two cloths tied together, she had an actual satchel that rode over her back. However, perhaps a bit too excited, she just made a little spin move that made the satchel slide off her backside, causing all its contents to spill out. Comic books and novels fell before Becky's feet.

Scootaloo picked up one piece of literature after another, showing them off. "Rainbow Dash thought that if you're going to be here for a while, you might enjoy some of her favorite Daring Doo books."

She grabbed a few comics together and held them up. "I also threw in some Power Ponies comics we borrowed from Spike."

"Awe," Becky was in love with these little cuties. "That's so nice of both of you."

"We brought you all something, too!" Apple Bloom reared up slightly and ran back to her brother. "When Applejack came back home, she was so happy when she talked 'bout y'all. She was even singing a new version of our families Apples To The Core, song."

Lumberman and Big Mac both cringed.

"Our Granny Smith always makes a big supper, so Applejack wanted to bring you some. You'll love it! It's a classic tomato, carrot, and apple soup." - Apple Bloom explained as she was jumping up and down next to Big Mac, who was carrying a large picnic basket on his back.

Lumberman looked around. "Wait? Did Applejack come with you?"

"Nope," responded Big Mac in the only cliche way he's allowed to.

"Is everything okay with her?" Benny asked, remembering how tanked she was when she stumbled off with the other ponies.

"Oh, yeah. She's fine," Apple Bloom beamed.

Big Mac's expression showed just how unpleased he was with this situation. "Apparently, my sister was given some fancy laughing water drink that made her forget how to sing and walk upstairs."

"Yeah. We're sorry about that." Benny apologized.

Apple Bloom stood up tall to address the humans. "Oh! I wanted to ask. Can I try some of that fancy laughing water?"

"No!" both Lumberman and Big Mac shouted as if it were coordinated.

They both looked at each other, neither had expected the other to mimic such a reaction. Poor Apple Bloom looked back and forth between the two, thinking she was in trouble.

Big Mac pulled back from his strong response. "Well, you see sis,-"

Lumberman to the rescue. "You have to be older, that's all."

Big Mac didn't understand the context of the drink, or even what it was, but he took the excuse and ran with it. "Sorry, sis. Maybe when you're older."

"Oh," Apple Bloom accepted the explanation, though sad she wasn't going to be able to try it, despite her sister making it sound so great. "Are you gonna try some, Big Mac? Since I can't have any?"

There's a question he wasn't ready for. He panicked being put on the spot. He didn't want to make his sister out to have done something wrong. Hell, he wasn't even sure if what she did was wrong. He just didn't like the way she was acting.

Lumberman saw a bro in distress and decided to give him an easy out. "It's a bit late in the night for that, I think. Maybe another time. That okay, Mac?"

Big Mac gave that look that screamed 'Thank you,' to Lumberman. "Oh, uh. Yeah. Another time when we don't have so much going on."

Becky looked down to Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. "So, why didn't Rainbow Dash and Rarity come back, too?"

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. "Well, Rainbow Dash was supposed to come with me. Since she asked me to carry all the books for her, but then she just fell asleep on her doorstep."

She looked so disappointed. "I tried to wake her, but she just curled up said she would catch up... Which means she'll catch up tomorrow."

She looked to Sweetie Belle. "So why didn't Rarity come?"

Sweetie Belle sulked. "Honestly, I have no idea."

Everyone could see her falling back into memory.

"She was really excited when she came back and was talking about meeting all of you."

The tiny white unicorn turned with a rather inquisitive look up to Cerb. "But after we gathered up the candles and bonbons and she said better get a hug better than Fluttershy's or she'd..."

Sweetie Belle stopped and thought again. "I don't want to say the rest of what she said, because I'm sure she didn't really mean it."

Lumberman placed a comforting hand on Cerb's shoulder. "Dude... you owe that pony a hug something fierce."

Cerb held his tongue. Instead, he sighed in frustration, holding back his embarrassment as best he could.

The others had come out to see what the commotion was.

Sniff poked his head out behind the others. "Hey there, Sweetie. How about our good old hugging buddy gives you a hug so you can give it to her when you see her again?"

Cerb felt some of that same uncomfortable sensation as he did on the hill from Benny's jokes. "Dude, don't make this any weirder for me than it already is."

The three fillies looked at each other in bewilderment.

"I may be young, but I know hugs don't work that way." Sweetie Belle boasted.

Becky smiled deviously. "But these are human hugs. Watch."

She turned behind her and gave Sniff a hug and made eyes motioning towards Chris.

Sniff understood and cracked a grin as Becky released him from the hug. "Hey, Chris. Tell me what you feel."

Chris gave no resistance as Sniff turned and gave him an over-exaggerated hug.

Chris awed in amazement. "Oh, that's totally a hug from Becky. I can tell."

Apple Bloom giggled. "You're funny. But if it'll make y'all feel better. I'll take a hug and pass it on."

Sweetie Belle turned, surprisingly giving a protest to the request. "Now wait a minute. Joke or no joke. I'm supposed to get the hug. Not you. You're not even going to see Rarity tonight. I am."

Scootaloo piped up. "What about me? I got ditched at a doorstep. Don't I deserve some kind of reward?"

Becky, without warning, or even permission, reached down and scooped up Scootaloo, pulling her into a warm hug. "How about you let those two fight over big dumb Cerb."

"Hey?" Cerb wined.

"Besides," Becky squeezed a little tighter. "You deserve a reward for all the hard work you put into the Rainbow Dash fan club."

Scootaloo looked as if she just found a long lost friend and sounded off with a gasp. "You know about my fan club!" This started off a conversation only those two were interested in.

Sweetie Belle looked to Apple Bloom. "I call dibs on the big one."

"What?" Apple Bloom protested.

Sweetie Belle started walking closer to Cerb. "My sister wants a hug from this stud, here."

Sniff and Chris snickered at the double entendre.

"You're being awfully rude to the others by ignoring them, Apple Bloom." Sweetie Belle lectured her friend and trapping her in the confines of kindness.

Cerb searched quickly for an out. "You've brought us so many generous gifts, a hug seems like a rather poor method of repayment. I'm sure we can-"

Becky leaned into Cerb's side. "Don't go off being rude and upsetting them because you feel some kinda way, Justin."

Cerb turned to her, not sure why she sounded so sincere. She had an honest expression like she was just enjoying the experience of holding onto one of the little fillies. Even Scootaloo looked rather pleased with herself.

"I might be a bit partial to the Cutie Mark Crusaders, though," Becky admitted. "These girls got a lot going on for them, and they do so much to help others. You can't help but love'em."

Cerb looked down to see Sweetie Belle pushing the cutest puppy dog eyes and smile killer combo. It was like a toddler bring over a toy phone for you to talk to. It doesn't matter who you are. You pick up that phone and say 'Hello.' This was no different. She was asking for a hug, and by god, there was no turning it down.

"If you're all gonna make such a big fuss about it," Cerb proclaimed as he surrendered and lowered himself to grab the cute little white fur covered filly.

"One hug for you. You can keep it all to yourself or share it with your big sis if you want to, okay?"

Cerb didn't know how old the little filly was, but apparently young enough to speak at least a little childish to, and she didn't seem to mind it.

Sweetie Belle dug into the hug, which honestly reminded him of the times kids had hugged him in the past. Once in particular, of coming home from overseas, still in a wheelchair waiting at the baggage claim. A little girl, no more than six or seven years of age, had rolled over a piece of luggage to stand on and be high enough to hug him as he waited.

At first, his heart had raced, and he almost flipped out, panicking like he was in combat again. But then he realized what exactly he was feeling wrapped around his waist. All he could do was embrace the moment and return the hug.

That feeling was hard to forget. More than how tightly she held him, it was a feeling of peace and his heavy burdens alleviated. That young girl had seen his pain, and her childlike instinct had told her to give some comfort to the poor stranger. Was that what this little pony was trying to do?

It could have been just the childish antics of compassion or a compulsion to please an elder with a good deed, but that's not what he felt. Maybe more mind alteration from the unknown power they had yet to uncover was what compelled him to welcome this. Something so simple shouldn't have to be so heavily contemplated.

All the more, his mind raced through these thoughts, more came to fruition. How long to hold on? How tight to hold her? What expression to show? Should anything else be said?

"I'll have to tell Rarity she was right," Sweetie Belles voice brought Cerb out of his barrage of thoughts.

Cerb's eyes were lost, faintly reflecting his memory of the airport from so long ago. "Huh? Tell who what?"

Strange how a memory can pull you so far from reality.

"That you're a good hugger," Sweetie Belle giggled. "Well, as far as hugs go, you give a good one. Not sure why she was so worked up about it though."

"Oh," Cerb said, not sure if he was merely acknowledging her words or agreeing with her. Either way, he decided that had been enough, and it was time to put her down. He gently lowered her back down and let her hooves touch the ground before releasing her.

She made her way back towards Big Mac. "I think I'll keep this hug to myself for now. I'll give Sis a different hug when I get back." She jokingly said with a wink. "I don't think she'll know the difference."

Becky followed suit and finally let Scootaloo down, saying something about the fan club no one else really could hear.

Apple Bloom was still looking between the other humans, not sure which hug to pursue.

Scootallo looked back on her way to Big Mac. "Just pick one already. You're choosing some pony to hug, not picking out your Special Somepony for life," she said with a hint of playful banter. "We still have to give them the dinner basket. You're holding up their dinner plans."

Apple Bloom blushed at the joke being made at her expense.

Chris cleared his throat and started moving forward. He was about to help the little filly end the contemplating and get a nice big hug from a fan. That was until Sniff stepped up and shoulder checked him just hard enough to knock him out of the way.

"Don't worry little Apple Bloom," Sniff said with a confident smile. "I'll be your Huckleberry."

"M'uh what?" Apple Bloom questioned before two hands scooped her up from under her forehooves by his hands.

Sniff held her in her with one arm under her flank and the other pulling her in close, having them rub cheek to cheek. He playfully cooed with a grin as he turned them both to face Chris.

"What I mean is meany pants Chris over here already got a hug from Pinkie Pie and wanted to stop me from getting any pony hugs at all."

He pulled back slightly to personally address the little pone. "Can you believe that?"

Apple Bloom shot Chris an accusatory and confused look. "Why would you wanna go on and do something like that?"

Chirs stumbled on his words for a moment. "I didn't... He just..."

Chris couldn't believe he just got labeled as the bad guy to the Cutie Mark Crusaders, but he could play games, too.

"Well, I'm sorry, Apple Bloom. Sniffles said earlier that he wanted a Special Somepony and was only interested in a pony like Pinkie Pie. So I thought he wouldn't even bother giving you a hug."

He played it off perfectly with an apologetic shrug.

Apple Bloom turned to Sniff not sure what to think. "You want Pinkie Pie as your Special Somepony? I mean, she's nice and all-"

Sniff pulled the poor confused fillies head to his chest, covering one ear against his chest and the other with his free hand. He then promptly feigned a face of shock and insult.

"Don't listen to that nasty man, my sweet little Apple. He's just trying to drive a wedge between our friendship by confusing you with slanderous lies."

He turned away from Chris and lowered her to the ground, gently pushing her off and shooing her away. "Run quickly now! Don't let his greed for all the hugs and pony kisses turn you to the dark side!"

"Don't worry Mr. Smells! I won't be turned!" Apple Bloom ran off, laughing and playing along. At least Chris hoped she was playing along with the joke and didn't actually believe it.

Kelly followed the three out to Big Mac, who looked fed up and annoyed by all of the Tomfoolery. "Don't mind my friends there, Big Guy. They're harmless. They just like acting stupid. Mind if I grab this off ya?"

Big Mac could see she was motioning to the basket on his back. "Nope."

With a quick tug on a string, the binding came undone, and she slid if off from his back. "We really appreciate the gesture. Really."

With both hands full, she leaned forward and softly planted a kiss on his cheek.

Even this red horse couldn't hide the crimson building up in his face. "Oh, shucks."

Oh, boy, was this horse ever taken for a loop by just a simple kiss.

"I just carried and- I didn't. You know-" He hadn't been this flustered since Ms. Cheerilee.

Kelly quickly saw that this had completely unintended consequences she didn't want to address.

"Oh, shit." Words that pretty aptly captured the situation. "Oh, gawd. I'm sorry- I just wanted to say thank you."

Nope. Fuck it. Too much was done, and there was no fixing this interaction. Kelly turned and marched smartly back to the house.

"Thanks again and have a good night," she hollered back about as fast as she was walking to her friends. All of whom were doing their damnedest not to point and laugh.

Kelly made her way through the other six who as they snickered and thankfully held back all the terrible things she knew they were going to say once the pony company had traveled out of earshot.

Lumberman held the door open for her and shined a flashlight in to guide her way. "Careful on your way in. Don't want you leaving any drips all over the floor."

Kelly out of reflex tightened the gap between her legs as she walked in, mentally she was flipping him off.